Friday Fun All Alliterative Chimu Charrenge ← FREE KRAUT!

Friday Fun All Alliterative Chimu Charrenge 37

25 Mar 2011  |  JediLeroy  |FKwiz

OK. It’s three AM and I am in a drug induced daze, so feel free to take this thing and axe it if you yearn to do so.

First, a “chimu” is a “team” in Japan. You can guess what a “charrenge” is. The goal is to make the top team of position players using only alliterative names.

Rules: Using Fangraphs for WAR, create a collection of all alliterative top talent for each and every position:

C
1B
2B
SS
3B
LF
CF
RF
Five man rotation (if possible)
Three relievers.
DH

List the player name and their best single-season WAR at that position. Since this blog is basically built with left-leaning, liberal people, feel free to be bery liberal with any examples. Nicknames? OK. Successive glottal stops? Great. Go. I’ll be back in a while, when I’ve actually gotten good sleep.

37 thoughts on “Friday Fun All Alliterative Chimu Charrenge”

  1. the dogfather Mar 25,2011 1:26 pm

    Wasn’t somebody around here a throat singer for the Successive Glottal Stops?

    So, Mickey Mantle? Bay Brooth? Ank Aaron? Barry ‘n Bobby? And our own Coco Crisp, David Dejesus, Kevin Kousmanoff and Billy Beane?

    The meaning of life is not so much found, as it is Made. -- Opus
  2. monkeyball Mar 25,2011 1:28 pm

    Scooby language? Ralbert Rujols?

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  3. nevermoor Mar 25,2011 2:00 pm

    Active Players:

    C: Miguel Montero
    1B: Billy Butler
    2B: Placido Polanco
    SS: Tulo
    3B: Melvin Mora
    LF: Acronym
    CF: DDJ
    RF: Shin Soo (Choo)
    Five man rotation (if possible): C C (sabathia); Carpenter; Doug Davis; Josh Johnson; Ricky Romero
    Three relievers: Scot Shields; J J (putz); Darren (O’) Day
    DH: Kila Ka’aihue

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  4. JediLeroy Mar 25,2011 3:55 pm

    Let me clarify: I’m talking all time team, with single season performances.

    Also, this seemed like a much better idea under the influence.

    I would start with:

    1B: Mark McGwire ’98 (8.8 WAR)
    LF: Barry Bonds ’02 (13.0)
    CF: MIckey Mantle ’56 (12.2)
    SP: Mark Mulder ’01 (5.8)
    SP: Chris Carpenter ’05 (6.8)

    az di bobe volt gehat beytsim volt zi geven mayn zeyde
    • ptbnl Mar 25,2011 5:15 pm || Up

      RF: Sammy Sosa ’01 (10.4)

      If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
    • ptbnl Mar 25,2011 5:23 pm || Up

      2B: “Moneyball” Morgan ’75 (11.4)

      If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
  5. FreeSeatUpgrade Mar 25,2011 4:44 pm

    With nicknames, the Bambino’s gotta be in there.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  6. ptbnl Mar 25,2011 5:11 pm

    I completely misunderstood this and was going for a team of players whose names all started with the same letter.

    I hadn’t got as far as the relievers, but thanks to their pitching the S’s seems to have a decent shout:

    C: Simmons 6.3
    1B: Sisler 11.2
    2B: Stirnweiss 9.2
    SS: Stephens 8.2
    3B: Santo 10.2
    RF: Sosa 10.4
    CF: Speaker 11.0
    LF: Stone 9.7
    DH: Seitzer 4.2

    SP: Schilling 9.7
    SP: Smoltz 8.4
    SP: Saberhagen 8.4
    SP: Soto 8.0
    SP: Sheets 8.0

    If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
    • JediLeroy Mar 25,2011 7:53 pm || Up

      That’s sufficiently solid squad.

      az di bobe volt gehat beytsim volt zi geven mayn zeyde
      • ptbnl Mar 26,2011 10:20 pm || Up

        RP: Saito 3.2
        RP: Stanley 3.1
        RP: Smith 3.0

        So with 132.2 WAR that team should be good for 155 or so wins in a 162-game season, right?

        If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
      • monkeyball Mar 27,2011 9:26 pm || Up

        All-time alliterative team of former players buried in unmarked graves: sufficiently squalid sod.

        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  7. Soaker Mar 25,2011 5:22 pm

    I might take the Splendid Splinter over Bonds in left field. His top single-season WAR (B-Ref) was 11.8 in 1946 and career WAR was 125.3 (Bonds 12.5 in 2001 and 171.8); consider, though, that Williams completely missed his ages 24-26 seasons in 1943-1945 and then totaled just 122 plate appearances in 1952-1953. His career OPS+ was 190 vs. 181 for Bonds. Bonds was a much better defensive player until his body type changed, but Williams played half his games in Fenway’s left field so the defense wasn’t as critical.

    What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Mar 25,2011 5:34 pm || Up

      And Splendid Splinter is definitely the alliterative man to beat.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • monkeyball Mar 25,2011 5:40 pm || Up

        No, Masturbatin’ Matsui is the man to beat.

        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
        • Ice Cream Mar 25,2011 7:55 pm || Up

          asvd

          Where is the good in "good-bye"?
        • JediLeroy Mar 25,2011 7:56 pm || Up

          Coca Cola–>nose–>keyboard.

          az di bobe volt gehat beytsim volt zi geven mayn zeyde
      • Soaker Mar 25,2011 5:51 pm || Up

        In the heyday of corny sportswriting many of the big stars had nicknames that would qualify under JL’s rules; the Sultan of Swat as you reference above, Hammerin’ Hank, Rapid Robert…

        What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
        • monkeyball Mar 25,2011 6:06 pm || Up

          Today we live in the heymanday of corny sportswriting

          you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  8. monkeyball Mar 25,2011 5:27 pm

    I guess the numbers just don’t add up for Jersey Jack.

    … nor, apparently, will they for Masturbatin’ Matsui.

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Mar 25,2011 5:33 pm || Up

      But Pretty Pretty Mike Piazza might get the nod.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  9. nanotrebuchet Mar 25,2011 9:37 pm

    Combining ptbnl’s idea with JL’s (top single-season WAR in parentheses):

    C: Bob Boone (3.5)
    1B: Bill Buckner (3.7)
    2B: Bret Boone (8.2)
    SS: Brian Bocock (-0.1)
    3B: Bobby Bonilla (5.7) or Buddy Bell (6.9!)
    LF: Barry Bonds (12.5) (Sorry Bruce Bochte)
    CF: Brett Butler (5.1)
    RF: Bobby Bonds (6.7)
    DH: Billy Butler (4.5)

    SP: Brad Bergesen (2.8), Brandon Backe (0.5), Boof Bonser (1.3), Brian Bannister (3.3), Bo Belinsky (2.2)
    RP: Brian Boehringer (1.6),Blaine Boyer (0.6),…

    Manager: Bruce Bochy
    Pitching Coach: Bud Black
    General Manager: Billy Beane

  10. JediLeroy Mar 25,2011 10:35 pm

    C: Mike Macfarlane (3.7)
    1B: Mark McGwire (8.8)
    2B: Mark McLemore (4.3)
    SS: Mickey Morandini (4.3)
    3B: Melvin Mora (6.4)
    LF: Minnie Miñoso (8.3)
    CF: Mickey Mantle (12.2)
    RF: Manny Mota (3.4)
    DH: Matt Murton (3.1)

    SP: Mike Mussina (7.1)
    SP: Matt Morris (6.0)
    SP: Mike Moore (6.0)
    SP: Mark Mulder (5.8)
    SP: Mike Morgan (4.5)
    RP: Mike Marshall (3.9)
    RP: Mike Maddux (2.4)
    RP: Matt Mantei (1.5)

    az di bobe volt gehat beytsim volt zi geven mayn zeyde
    • nanotrebuchet Mar 25,2011 10:37 pm || Up

      Mazel Tov!

      • JediLeroy Mar 25,2011 10:45 pm || Up

        I love that Minnie and Mickey (X2) are both on the team.

        az di bobe volt gehat beytsim volt zi geven mayn zeyde
  11. kenarneson Mar 26,2011 7:57 pm

    I’m too lazy to get the WARs, but here’s my all-time Oakland A’s alliterative 25-man roster:

    Starting Lineup:
    Mike MacFarlane C
    Mark McGwire 1B
    Scott Spiezio 2B
    Kevin Kouzmanoff 3B
    Walt Weiss SS
    Willie Wilson RF
    David DeJesus LF
    Coco Crisp CF
    John Jaha DH

    Bench:
    Chris Carter OF/1B
    Gabe Gross OF
    Bruce Bochte 1B
    Mark McLemore IF
    Dave Duncan C

    Starting Pitchers:
    Mark Mulder SP
    Mike Moore SP
    Scott Sanderson SP
    Omar Olivares SP
    Chris Codiroli SP

    Bullpen:
    Ricardo Rincon, RP
    Mike Magnante, RP
    Mike Mohler, RP
    Kiko Calero, RP
    Goose Gossage, RP
    Jeff Jones, RP

    Staff:
    Billy Beane, GM
    Jack McKeon, Manager (ok, that’s a stretch, but unless you go to Mel McGaha in Kansas City, it’s the best we got)
    Duffy Dyer, Base Coach
    Billy Williams, Hitting Coach (another stretch)
    Dave Duncan, Pitching Coach (player-coach!)
    Ron Romanick, Bullpen Coach
    Ken Korach, Radio Announcer
    Monte Moore, TV Announcer

    • kenarneson Mar 26,2011 8:03 pm || Up

      The Dynasty years of 72-74 were seriously lacking in alliteration.

      • JediLeroy Mar 26,2011 8:22 pm || Up

        You could probably count “Campy” Campaneris.

        az di bobe volt gehat beytsim volt zi geven mayn zeyde
        • kenarneson Mar 26,2011 10:26 pm || Up

          I thought about that, but it felt a little like cheating.

          • monkeyball Mar 27,2011 8:07 am || Up

            Yeah, I think for these purposes only “real” nicknames and derisive fake ones should count — once you let in Campy, you gotta let in “Huddy” Hudson.

            you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • andeux Mar 26,2011 8:09 pm || Up

      No Jason Giambi?

      TINSTAAFK
      • nanotrebuchet Mar 26,2011 8:14 pm || Up

        oooh, nice.

      • kenarneson Mar 26,2011 10:25 pm || Up

        Oops, yes, as a player, I guess he should go ahead of Bruce Bochte. But not as a name.

    • obliquè Mar 27,2011 11:21 am || Up

      Mickey Morabito, Director of Team Travel

    • monkeyball Mar 27,2011 9:26 pm || Up

      Mgr: Best-man Bob

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  12. nanotrebuchet Mar 26,2011 8:52 pm

    Mark Ellis Never Errs. Crappy-Hitting Italian: Never Ok.

    • monkeyball Mar 28,2011 2:33 pm || Up
      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come

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