You’re an idiot, I’m better than you ← FREE KRAUT!

You’re an idiot, I’m better than you 89

25 Jan 2011  |  monkeyball  |The Grill
  1. Ron Gardenhire’s Five Stages of Losing Nick Punto
  2. A’s to move to “true” dynamic pricing this year (at least for the big AoE games) (via ML/v0)
  3. Chip Johnson (one of the Chron’s true stars) on Jerry’s scorched-earth anti-redev policy’s potential impact on Oakland/East Bay (also via ML/v0)
  4. I am Voros McCracken — and so is Leopold Bloom!
  5. Holy crap, is that an ugly-ass shirt (no, the A’s are too downmarket to offer one)
  6. Speaking of downmarket Oakland …
  7. Speaking of upmarket Oakland … (there’s your Oakland corporate ballpark sponsorship! They should sponsor the actual field: weGrow Grass [at Peerless Park])
  8. Uh, whu? Bayview to Chinatown? Patronage by Willie Brown to Chinatown pols/community leaders? Ahhh, I see: SFMTA considers Pelosi’s Subway to Nowhere to be part of the Third St Light Rail project (initiated by His Willieness) — the subway itself still isn’t spec’ed to go past Caltrain
  9. nm bait
  10. mikev/mb/LB bait
  11. mikea/xbx bait
  12. These are pretty great …
  13. … but these are FKin’ awesome
  14. In former home of Athletics Franchise, game is ahead of you
  15. In former Soviet Union, your smile doesn’t trust reporter

89 thoughts on “You’re an idiot, I’m better than you”

  1. andeux Jan 25,2011 12:02 pm

    4. I never knew his given name wasn’t Voros.
    6. The “Crusty white stains on the blankets and sheets” one is from my hometown. Make of that what you will.
    11. I thought they were usually stringier than that picture.
    15. related

    TINSTAAFK
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 25,2011 4:45 pm || Up

      “Bob McCracken” wouldn’t have resonated quite the same.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  2. andeux Jan 25,2011 12:05 pm

    This is pretty clever.

    TINSTAAFK
  3. monkeyball Jan 25,2011 12:06 pm

    WTF? “Your honor, this party’s testimony has no merit, because I shot the victim in broad daylight on a crowded street.” (I know, I suspect Abbot’s argument went to Ven-A-Care’s standing, but if they’ve been doing this with no relevant objections heretofore, and it’s all according to statutes …)

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • nevermoor Jan 25,2011 1:55 pm || Up

      It’s certainly a creative argument, but without knowing the relevant statutes “Plaintiff has nothing to do with any of this and has suffered no harm” is vanilla motion to dismiss stuff.

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  4. andeux Jan 25,2011 12:07 pm

    Beef content of Taco Bell tacos is comparable to the baseball content of an average Grill percentage of the A’s payroll devoted to the bullpen.

    TINSTAAFK
  5. andeux Jan 25,2011 12:30 pm
    TINSTAAFK
    • monkeyball Jan 25,2011 12:34 pm || Up

      Oh for FK’s sake.

      Yeah, what you said.

      Plus, there goes some of AA’s Jedi cred.

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • monkeyball Jan 25,2011 12:35 pm || Up

      Damn, but that’s a smart move by TX.

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
      • monkeyball Jan 25,2011 12:35 pm || Up

        … and further evidence of the idiocy of Reagins.

        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • lenscrafters Jan 25,2011 1:36 pm || Up

      Damn, I feel like we have a better reliever to offer…

      • nevermoor Jan 25,2011 1:56 pm || Up

        Yeah, but we’re “set” at those positions.

        "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
        • lenscrafters Jan 25,2011 2:05 pm || Up

          Damn 25th man Conor Jackson…

          Napoli would’ve been nice when we inevitably realize by mid May that we need a new DH.

    • nanotrebuchet Jan 25,2011 8:03 pm || Up

      feh. gap between us and texas just got bigger.

      • monkeyball Jan 26,2011 8:57 am || Up
        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  6. monkeyball Jan 25,2011 12:36 pm
    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  7. monkeyball Jan 25,2011 1:04 pm

    How did the sulK-off not make this list?

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  8. monkeyball Jan 25,2011 1:05 pm

    Richard Attenborough and Charles Mingus? Richard Attenborough and Charles Mingus.

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  9. nevermoor Jan 25,2011 1:40 pm

    8: I’m essentially always for more mass transit.

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  10. aardvark Jan 25,2011 1:42 pm

    4. How does Passan continue to get writing assignments? I’ll admit that he has improved from barely intelligible to merely difficult to read without cringing. And wasn’t the moneball movie shelved?

    • FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 25,2011 4:51 pm || Up

      Moneyball The Movie is still going full speed ahead. But this article bugs me, because of

      And there’s the deepest, most hurtful part of all: Voros McCracken hasn’t worked in baseball since the game chewed him up and spit him out five years ago. In an industry where progress moves by the inch, the man who sent it forward a mile can’t get a job. And he’s not quite sure why.

      The rest of the article makes pretty clear that McCracken’s subsequent career/money trevails are exactly in line with his lifelong pattern of depression and depression-driven choices…dropping out, quitting jobs, letting himself go, etc. Passan tries to hint that Voros is getting blackballed, but the truth appears tio be more prosaic than that: he’s got mental health issues, and those make it tough to get a job.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • monkeyball Jan 25,2011 5:03 pm || Up

        If Passan were smarter, he would have used elements of DIPS as a structuring device for the article — something like bipolar geniuses alternate between strikeouts and HRs, but the quotidian mechanics of running a ballclub (and advancing science/knowledge by increments) rely on the unpredictable routine of putting balls in play; or just stick with the BIP idea, and focus on the volatility.

        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  11. nevermoor Jan 25,2011 1:51 pm

    5: At least there’s one for Napoli’s team

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  12. ptbnl Jan 25,2011 2:09 pm

    6. From the Europe link, Turkey may have 1 & 2 but London gets 3, 4, 5 & 8.

    If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
  13. nevermoor Jan 25,2011 2:39 pm
    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  14. FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 25,2011 4:23 pm

    2. If it’s only used for the “Premium” games, then it is not in fact true “dynamic pricing,” it’s merely a different way for the A’s to charge more for high demand games (and, they hope, create demand to buy early for those games). True dynamic pricing means you charge less for low-demand games, like the Giants did last year. The A’s sure as hell ain’t doing that (do I hear $2 Every Weekday Night ‘Cept Giants-Yanks-BoSox tickets?).

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 25,2011 4:26 pm || Up

      Also,

      …said Steve Fanelli, executive director of ticket sales and operations for the Oakland A’s. “Dynamic pricing is a win-win for the team and the Oakland A’s community. It gives us the flexibility to adjust ticket prices to better match the fan experience, and to draw more fans to the ballpark to see some of baseball’s top teams play each other.”

      If it costs me more to take my kids to see fireworks or to teach them how to heckle Boston fans, for example, how is that a win for “the Oakland A’s community”?

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • nanotrebuchet Jan 25,2011 8:05 pm || Up

        because they are drawing out all the consumer surplus!

    • monkeyball Jan 25,2011 4:28 pm || Up

      I think if the A’s went Full Dynamic, they’d break the algorithm. They’d also end up paying people to attend games (which might actually be a revenue-positive approach if they did something like $1 admission with $2 scrip credit attached to the ticket).

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • TJ Jan 26,2011 10:42 am || Up

      Speaking of tickets and buying early, I just sent out my a la carte “ticket package” plan to my group of A’s buddies and am planning to head to the stadium on Saturday to make my mass ticket buy.

      My plan this year is all the Wednesday 7pm $2 games, Opening night, the SF Gi Saturday game, the Angels double header, and then a couple other Saturday games to fill in the blanks. It’s a mix of bleacher, value deck and $2 plaza outfield tickets and the strip of 10 games costs 75 bucks- I’m going to miss dirt cheap baseball once they sort out the stadium situation.

  15. FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 25,2011 4:42 pm

    3. Chip (and in turn ML) misunderstood what Lindheim said. Jerry’s proposal would not clear an extra $10M for Oakland’s General Fund as a net gain. Lindheim said that the $10M to the GF would be greatly subsumed by the loss of City functions which redevelopment currently pays for. The net effect of Jerry’s proposal would be a dramatic loss of revenue for Oakland.

    Though I agree with his opinions more than half the time, Chip Johnson is a lousy reporter who often mis-states easily verified facts, in large part because he is incredibly lazy at his job.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • andeux Jan 26,2011 10:28 am || Up

      Sounds like Gammon’s take is more accurate.

      TINSTAAFK
  16. monkeyball Jan 25,2011 6:03 pm

    WTF? I thought transactions involving >$1M required Tootsie’s approval.

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • ptbnl Jan 25,2011 7:24 pm || Up

      They do, so he must have.

      If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
    • lenscrafters Jan 25,2011 7:45 pm || Up

      Perhaps Reagins was just embarrassed cause he got roughly the equivalent of a roll of quarters.

      • nevermoor Jan 25,2011 9:35 pm || Up

        Yeah, that’s almost worse in that he realized he was getting screwed but not how badly.

        "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  17. nanotrebuchet Jan 25,2011 8:03 pm

    make your own microfluidic device. technically speaking, powerpoint and a photocopier aren’t all you’ll need – you will need to buy some pdms, but that is cheap and easy to get a hold of

  18. nanotrebuchet Jan 25,2011 8:09 pm

    do you fkers eat cake with a spoon or a fork?

    • ptbnl Jan 25,2011 8:28 pm || Up

      Fingers.

      If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
      • nevermoor Jan 25,2011 9:36 pm || Up

        Hands behind back and lean into it.

        (fork)

        "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
        • FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 25,2011 9:43 pm || Up

          Totally fork. What kind of freak uses a spoon?

          "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
        • monkeyball Jan 26,2011 8:58 am || Up

          TWSS

          you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • nanotrebuchet Jan 26,2011 8:26 pm || Up

      huh. the spoon is so much more convenient. too bad the rest of the human race hasn’t caught up to me.

      • JediLeroy Jan 26,2011 10:58 pm || Up

        Spoon here.

        az di bobe volt gehat beytsim volt zi geven mayn zeyde
        • nanotrebuchet Jan 26,2011 11:26 pm || Up

          bff (except for the elliot smith thing)

      • sslinger Jan 27,2011 10:23 am || Up

        Spoon if I’m eating it with ice cream. And why the hell would you eat cake without ice cream?

        • monkeyball Jan 27,2011 10:39 am || Up

          I’ve never understood how anyone could eat cake with ice cream slowly enough for the ic to melt and require a spoon.

          you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
          • sslinger Jan 27,2011 12:09 pm || Up

            It’s not necessarily that the length of time leads to the ice cream melting, it’s just that in the pairing of cake and ice cream, ice cream takes precedence and thus dictates the choice of utensil. Sans cake, would you choose a fork to eat ice cream?

            • monkeyball Jan 27,2011 12:20 pm || Up

              I don’t understand eating the ice cream before (not bite by biter with) the cake.

              you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
              • sslinger Jan 27,2011 12:25 pm || Up

                Precedence as in order of importance, not order of eating.

                • nevermoor Jan 27,2011 12:31 pm || Up

                  I don’t understand eating cake in a world full of pie.

                  ::ducks::

                  "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
                • monkeyball Jan 27,2011 12:49 pm || Up

                  Most cake is awful. Most pie is excellent.

                  But if there’s a good cake, with good ice cream, I’ll eat it. With a fork.

                  you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
                • ptbnl Jan 27,2011 12:56 pm || Up

                  Ginny plum crumble (made with fruit that’s been steeping for 6 months to make plum gin) with top quality vanilla ice cream is unbeatable.

                  If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
                • monkeyball Jan 27,2011 1:02 pm || Up

                  In college, I played spoons and tuning fork for The Ginny Plum Crumble.

                  you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
                • nevermoor Jan 27,2011 1:25 pm || Up

                  Boston Cream Pie says you’re a liar.

                  "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
                • ptbnl Jan 27,2011 1:44 pm || Up

                  This from a cake that calls itself a pie.

                  If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
                • nevermoor Jan 27,2011 2:41 pm || Up

                  Just the tip of the pie-berg.

                  "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
                • JediLeroy Jan 27,2011 5:16 pm || Up

                  Strawberry rhubarb.

                  az di bobe volt gehat beytsim volt zi geven mayn zeyde
                • FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 27,2011 2:04 pm || Up

                  Since I was a teenager I have insisted on having pie at my birthday celebrations rather than cake. Usually coconut custard or blueberry.

                  "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
                • FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 27,2011 2:06 pm || Up

                  And this year on my birthday I’ll be having Root Beer Floats!

                  "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
                • batgirl Jan 27,2011 5:52 pm || Up

                  Or Orange Crush Floats!!

                • FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 27,2011 5:54 pm || Up

                  Only if it were served by Lyle Alzado.

                  "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
                • nevermoor Jan 27,2011 2:42 pm || Up
                  "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • Poppy Jan 28,2011 4:21 pm || Up

      This thread NEEDS MOAR SPORK.

      There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
      • FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 28,2011 4:22 pm || Up

        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • monkeyball Jan 28,2011 4:25 pm || Up

        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
        • JediLeroy Jan 28,2011 6:23 pm || Up

          Ooh, a sporkmanteau!

          az di bobe volt gehat beytsim volt zi geven mayn zeyde
          • JediLeroy Jan 28,2011 6:25 pm || Up

            Ooops, I see now that you were saying “Spore Mork”, the oonerspism, as opposed to the “Spork” portmanteau.

            az di bobe volt gehat beytsim volt zi geven mayn zeyde
            • Poppy Jan 28,2011 6:29 pm || Up

              Sporkerism?

              There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
  19. nevermoor Jan 25,2011 9:39 pm

    Park factors are real!

    Local g

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  20. nanotrebuchet Jan 25,2011 10:34 pm

    10: Reminds me of the joke: “I was listening to a Philip Glass record and didn’t realize it was skipping until an hour later.”

  21. linusalf Jan 26,2011 10:07 am
    • nevermoor Jan 26,2011 10:14 am || Up

      Sometime today you’re going to see an advertisement appear on AN

      Not me. Ad Block Plus wins.

      Lew loves this community and directed his business people to get in touch with SB Nation’s ad sales people because of how much respect he has for what we’ve built here.

      Specifically, a community that gives him free pr and ridicules people who point out his bullshit.

      he doesn’t throw his money towards efforts that he doesn’t think will work

      Like… advertising?

      Oh and for those of you concerned about that changing things around here, we’re still editorially independent and we will remain that way.

      NOTHING HAS CHANGED. EVERYTHING IS THE SAME.

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
      • lenscrafters Jan 26,2011 12:36 pm || Up

        The apologism is getting ridiculous. This was a recent defense of why the team no longer has FanFest.

        • monkeyball Jan 26,2011 3:20 pm || Up

          {snerk}

          apologism

          you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
          • lenscrafters Jan 26,2011 3:32 pm || Up

            yeah, yeah, I recognize that it’s not an actual word.

            • JediLeroy Jan 26,2011 11:03 pm || Up

              az di bobe volt gehat beytsim volt zi geven mayn zeyde
      • FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 26,2011 2:36 pm || Up

        he doesn’t throw his money towards efforts that he doesn’t think will work

        Buying more sycophancy from the AN overseeers, and the concomitant “me too, Lew’s great, you suck” from the commentariat for the (I’m sure paltry) price of an ad is probably a very good ROI for Lew.

        I pretty much never visit AN any more except for when one of you FKers points me to it. Realized just now that it’s been three weeks since my last visit there, my username has been logged out, and I’m not much inclined to change that.

        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
        • nevermoor Jan 26,2011 2:40 pm || Up

          I need to do that again. I’m mostly driving myself crazy over there.

          "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
        • Poppy Jan 28,2011 4:26 pm || Up

          I was logged out for a couple of months until I logged in to make a fAnShOt about all the unwanted giveaways I’m regiving away… then decided “eh, fuck ’em” and didn’t post anything. But since I’d logged in, it now looks like I’ve “visited” more recently than I actually have.

          Except for when FKers point me to it.

          There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
      • nanotrebuchet Jan 26,2011 8:25 pm || Up

        wow, i totally forgot that site existed.

    • mikeA Jan 26,2011 10:24 am || Up

      Does make me envious that we haven’t been able to work out anything with Frank’s.

      • nevermoor Jan 26,2011 10:33 am || Up

        Dear Quality Kraut Singles,

        We have a large community with teens of regular posters, which is shielded from Google indexing. I CAN HAZ AD DOLLARS?

        "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
      • monkeyball Jan 26,2011 11:56 am || Up

        I’m working out a co-op deal whereby we partner with Frank’s and eHarmony on an FK dating site.

        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • Soaker Jan 26,2011 12:46 pm || Up

      I doubt much of the ** demographic is terribly interested in the Hyatt Place Mesa. For the first weekend I’ll be down there, Kayak is quoting a lowest rate of $159 + $24 taxes = $183/night. I’m a Motel 6/Econo Lodge type which I suspect is not too uncommon among **’ers.

      Where’s the Bates Motel ad? That one would probably generate some business.

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
      • monkeyball Jan 26,2011 12:48 pm || Up

        Yeah, that’s one stoopid ad buy (unless the rates are incredibly cheap — which they may well be — and if the real motivation is less to drive sales than it is to curry favor).

        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
        • nevermoor Jan 26,2011 1:21 pm || Up

          It’s entirely possible that one sale pays for the entire buy.

          And there are certainly people over there who I could imagine doing it.

          "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  22. nevermoor Jan 26,2011 12:32 pm
    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"

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