- Vernon here’s got a job. Vernon’s got prospects. He’s bona fide. What are you?
- He’s a suitor!
- Oh, George … not the livestock.
- I’m gonna visit those foreclosing son-of-a-guns at the Indianola Savings & Loan, slap that money on the barrelhead and buy back the family farm. You ain’t no kind of man if you ain’t got land.
- I’m a forgive-and-forgettin’ Christian, and I say, if their rambunctiousness, and misdemeanoring, is behind them …
- But you ain’t bona fide!
- Thank you boys for throwin’ in that fricassee. I’m a man of large appetite, and even with lunch under my belt, I was feelin’ a mite peckish.
Jesus! Can I count on you people?
I got you all a Salmagundi for Christmas.
grover bait
They can also hurt themselves by crashing into each other in the race to the pole
My fire pole has never caused me injury.
Maybe to a couple questionable decisions… but I’ve never needed medical attention afterwards.
Giggity Giggity
I’m the damn paterfamilias!
He should be in a carseat if he’s going to drive.
(I like how his hair is flying back, giving the illusion that he is not only driving, but driving over the speed limit.)
I don’t mean to be tellin’ tales out of school, but there’s a feller in there that’ll pay you ten dollars if you sing into his can.
4. I don’t know their names. I seen ’em first!
The future ownership of the Oakland A’s (which will likely look a lot like the current ownership, except without Clarence the Angel of Bullshit as front man), will invest in the building of a new ballpark in Oakland because it will make them richer men in the long run. The constant refrain of “good luck finding a Santa-owner to throw away $500M in Oakland” from the tiresome newballpark commenters is such utter horseshit…so much so, in fact, that I take ML’s steadfast refusal to debunk it as another small piece of evidence of his bias on the subject. Much like the “Cisco will pay $120M to name an SJ ballpark; Oakland companies won’t spend anything” line of horseshit, on which I had to basically force a reluctant debunking out of him.
Well, there I was specifically invoking my ownership of the Contraction Conspiracy (my variant of which, of course, hinges not on petulance + reztips-style Oaktown bashing for its justification, but a measured balancing of the costs and benefits of maintaining two teams in the SF Bay Area and one team in the Tampa Bay Area and MLB essentially having to use tOotC to fund both new stadia and keep funding both clubs with revenue-sharing cash and either buy out the Giants TR or carry the necessary nonsponsor overage for a stadium in Oakland).
Won’t the sponsorship money be there, regardless of where they build? That’s down on the list of real problems, no?
I was just reacting to the Santa-owner refrain in the comment you linked. The contraction theory is wrong for altogether different reasons (which ML covers pretty well in his recent flurry of comments).
BWAHAHAHAHAHA
Also
TARE moves to Arlington. Well, we don’t hafta worry about them in 2011, then.
I’m sure he’d work out ok as a closer
1. Vernon Jordan’s available.
6. Calcaterra should limit himself to subjects he knows something about, whatever those are. On this matter he reads like, well, a typical newballpark blog commenter.
Exactly.
… and number Neyer among the ignorant as well.
Endorsed by ML/v0).
Also: interesting detective work on the Blogginonabudget dude. Turns out he’s a lawyer who works for a firm trying for a piece of the EIR cash.
pehaps calcaterra should re think oakland needs to pay attention IDLF looks like he’s in big trouble
Bummer for Ignacio. And the DUI could put the kibosh on his rumored job with the Brown administration (which is also rumored to be letting Jacques come in from the cold, so they might have reached their quota for staff with baggage).
This seems like big news; I’m surprised the Chron hasn’t picked it up yet.
Yglesiasm:
Quick test to tell whether you’re mb, FSU, or JL:
What one bingo do you spell if you have the following letters on a Scrabble board?
AINNOTS
I’m guessing ONANIST makes me an mb.
I hope you’re pleased with yourself.
It was a process of elimination.
After you first tried writing other options down with your pencil, and you discovered that the eraser was broken, did you …
This is an astonishing name for a company.
You should send that to Onan C’O’Brian, see if he’ll start a Lenoesque web-funnies routine.
Also: I like the idea of this game. May try to make this a semi-recurring feature.
Got to be NATIONS. Does that make me Ken Macha?
Am I a JL because it took me a minute to realize the word itself wasn’t Annoints?
I got nations, but couldn’t figure out what that makes me. I couldn’t think of any other bingos.
Unless mb’s saying that I’m NOSAINT.
I figured the JL word was ANOINTS.
Dang it, that’s definitely it. How’d I miss that? I was looking for all sorts of church-y words.
And you replied to my comment where I referenced the word (but misspelled)
Holy crap, am I out of it today.
If anybody ever calls you on Christmas day to argue with you about money they’re not going to reimburse to your spouse, even though they had previously promised to do so and had actually agreed to the specific amount, try not to lose any sleep over it.
I did, and because I have kids and a pregnant wife, there’s no way I’m getting a nap today.
Yes, please.
No, this doesn’t have anything to do with my previous post. Why do you ask?
I always thought Jennifer Connelly would make a great WW.
But yeah, that idea would be acceptable. Hendricks has got great… range.
I’m a fan of the peaks but never had the opportunity to explore the valley.
Holy shit, I might hafta actually start watching that show.
This illustrated Christmas story has it all: a child’s touching re-enactment of the Christ birth story, wacky holiday family hijinks, cigarettes in place of frankincense, and so much more, in The Year Kenny Loggins Ruined Christmas.
Hilarious.
Thank you, that made my day.
IFMML
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Selugsworth might be behind this…
The Chron finally picked this up, about three hours after the Trib/Merc. Coincidentally, almost the same amount of time that Bloom lagged behind linusalf.
DLF has a rep as a very fast driver. To be nabbed for speeding on
the580 one really needs to be going fast. 80+, I’d wager.At least. I never see cops on 580…
I suck.
I’m ridiculously preoccupied by the kiddie games on NORAD’s Santa-tracker site.
And I liked the sleigh specs, too…
He’s got the White Stuff.
So, um…Merry Christmas and shit, FK.
And to my Hebrew brothers and sisters, Happy Chanukah.
And to my African-American brothers and sisters, Happy Kwanzaa!
And to all my pagans and heathens out there, sorry we stole your
winter festival.
Much love, FK.
… and for the atheists, and/or the anti-consumerists?
go fuck yourselves.
Say what you will about monotheism, monkey, but at least it’s an ethos…
Christmas is a holiday where all of us, atheist pagan Christian Jew and Zoroastrian, can unite in the warm loving embrace of Santa and start drinking before
noondawn.Don’t forget Ganesha!
We celebrate the day when henceforth we can watch a sporting event on television without being assaulted by a constant barrage of insipid jewelry store commercials.
You know, call me crazy, but I think collectively we can get a show on AMC that features a Paul from the Diamond Center type character–drug addled, but good-hearted–kind of a Jack Horner type.
Merry FKin’ Christmas!
Crap, still got presents to wrap …
Nothing like waiting til the last minute, eh, monkey?
Merry FKing Christmas, y’all!
Merry Christmas FK! Love your brotherman, like these cute FKers:
Also:
Reputations are a funny thing. For some reason, I have a reputation in my wife’s family as someone who loves to barbecue and eat licorice. I don’t know what I’m going to do with all this licorice, and while I like to barbecue, I don’t need a BBQ-themed gift *every* year. So I got my usual haul: a biography of a famous early-20th century scientist, licorice, BBQ something-or-other, and novelty t-shirt.
Meanwhile, my near-age relation got a fucking xbox connect.
Yeah. That’s dangerous ground. I got penguin themed everything for the first three Christmases after I met Mrs. N’s family because I was asked what my favorite zoo animal was, said penguins, and became “that guy who loves penguins”
Fortunately I became known as the baseball/A’s guy … speaking of which, as of this morning I have two copies of the 50th anniversary hardcover reprinting of Hub Fans Bid Kid Adieu.
Any takers?
There was a time when I really had a lot of Snoopy paraphernalia (and at this point, I expect mb or sal or one of you FKers to post a pic of a Snoopy roach clip). My family and my sister-in-law’s family just starting getting nuts with it. One year, I got exclusively Snoopy gifts. I had to actively speak out against it–“I now denounce Snoopy and all he stands for.” [images of Pig Pen getting shot as he steps out from his car, Lucy being garroted at her psychiatrist’s booth, Woodstock’s nest blowing up….]
I had a thing for flamingos (flamingoes?) in the mid-80s, even dressed up as a flamingo for Halloween once. Once. 25 years ago. The flamingo obsession had passed well before 1990, but one of my sisters and her daughter still give me flamingo-themed shit every December.
you gotta nip that shit in the bud, Poppy. Just tell them you had some flamingo with cocktail sauce your last time through your local gastro pub and have decided you no longer like flamingo.
25 years is a little late to be nipping it in the bud.
Yes, well, she can do it now or live with 40 more years of fucking flamingos.
I have always wanted what my old senior leader at work got pegged with. Every holiday all of his employees sent him the same thing. Eventually he had to tell them “guys I now have enough Dewars to last a decade..no need to keep shooting me the large bottles.”
One of my brothers-in-law works for an oil company, and he got ~45 top-quality steaks (including some Bison) and a ham the size of a baby.
Now that’s a gift.
“the baby-sized ham guy”
Merry Christmas (or whatever) to all and to all a sweet haul.
And remember the words of St. Baldwin: “Happy holidays… is what terrorists say. Merry Christmas.”
Merry Christmas everyone!! Hope you’re all enjoying a lovely day, despite this blasted rain. I’ve been enjoying a glorious day of presents, tater tots, phone calls from distant loved ones, and Auntie Mame.
Would anyone care to talk me out of taking Oakland +3 at home vs. Indianapolis? Seems to me the Colts are overestimated simply by virtue of having Derek Jeter on their team. I’m mulling the idea of a bagel, a cup of coffee and a side trip to the sports book at Harvey’s tomorrow morning.
Well seems like a week spread, but apparently the bookies like the silver and black a little.
The Niners beat the Raiders. Handily.
I think that’s a good bet at +3…The Colts are 3-4 on the road vs spread this year and their run defense is suspect. Oakland’s playing well, could even win outright if Asomugha’s near 100% and the D-line gets the kind of pressure they’ve been getting. Seymour’s questionable, so that hurts a bit. I’d almost bet the +120 moneyline Oakland win, except that it’s too easy to picture the late Indy score to eke out a narrow win. But +3 feels strong.
I also like STL -2.5, as I expect Singletary to desperately change quarterbacks three times in the first half while the team catastrophically implodes around him. Rams win big.
You were a bit right.
I’m finally aboard the fire Singletary and hire Harbaugh train.
I’m sorry, that train service has been discontinued. The Harbaugh Express goes straight through Denver these days.
Save me a seat.
With KC thumping Tennessee, the Raiders almost certainly will be eliminated from contention come kickoff. While the Raiders played spoiler effectively a few years back against NYJ and TB, that line would be more enticing if their playoff hopes were still alive.
Yep…I was still thinking about it this morning, but there’s the playoff contention issue, plus the line has moved since last night; 3 points no longer available, looks more like 1.5. Given my spotty success record at sports betting I’m keeping my wallet in my pocket.
Finally Bob Geren gets some of the pusitive publicity he so deserves …
Maricopa?
My theory: there’s some reality-tv angle to this.
Talk about a place where the houses are all the same…
You do know who the sheriff of Maricopa County is, right? That can’t be a coincidence.
She’s going to run for a House seat. And win.
I dislike her now. Greatly.
25-year-olds, Dude.
Webb -> Texas (probably)
Choo-choo, nm…
And don’t you two think you’re going to get the jump on all the good GMs, either. Get in line, sister.
That stupid game-winning-drive-Tebow is taking us right out of the Luck Sweepstakes. I hope he’s happy.
Harbaugh, too.
Thanks, and go As.
If we lose to AZ we could have a top-5 pick. And Harbaugh.
And an offensive line with some experience.
Before this week, we were 7th in the draft. Based on Arizona, Detroit, Denver, and Cincy all winning, I THINK we’re currently 5th:
Carolina (2-12)
Denver (4-11)
Buffalo (4-11)
Cincy (4-11)
SF (5-10)
Arizona (5-10)
Detroit (5-10)
based on the tiebreaker, we’re sitting at 5 right now. IF Denver (vs San Diego), Buffalo (@ NYJ), and Cincy (@ Baltimore) win and we lose to the Cards, I think that puts us at #2 overall because we had the weakest schedule of all the 5-11 teams. I don’t expect that to happen though, Buffalo and Cincy will probaly lose and I think we end up at 4th overall.
Thanks, and go As.
I think you’ll be picking behind Denver. Rivers is going to carve us up like a baby sized ham.
They’ve managed to find some interesting ways to lose this year though.
Thanks, and go As.
With a top five pick, they would have at least a shot at being able to trade up and potentially grab Luck. There are no sure things, but on the surface, that would rule.
Dammit! REHIRE SINGLETARY NOW!
Has anyone else noticed that Tim Goodman seems to have left his wit and drive behind in his new Hollywood Reporter gig? I’ve been checking over there every few weeks or so, only to find that his output is sparse…less than a column per week as best I can tell…and more disappointingly, those columns are bland. 18 best TV series of 2010, with one nondescript sentence about each. 80 best moments in TV history, not in ranked order. Yawn. And his Bastard Machine blog appears to be caught in some kind of legal limbo, per talk on his facebook page.
I’m sure he’s making more money with vastly greater job security with the new gig. But I wonder how much it bothers him to no longer be publishing anything worth reading.
Yeah. I bet the thinking was “hey, I’ll still have credentials to all the big events” but not even having a dedicated RSS at the new place is pretty hinky.
I wonder how long he’ll stay. I miss him.
I hadn’t thought about it until brought up, but yes, I miss him. Kinda like Jack, Sawyer & Kate.
Was thinking exactly the same thing
Before I make a fAnShOt at AN, do any of you FKwits want any of my random unwanted/extra A’s giveaways that I’m trying to purge before the big move in March or so?
I have a few different years of the freebie trading card sets; assorted bobbleheads that I need to inventory (so far I’ve found 2 Giambis, a Cust, an extra Braden, and I know I have a few other extras in the garage but I don’t remember who); the weird catcher’s chest protector “backpack” thing that the 2009 season tix came in; a pink pashmina-looking thing with an A’s Beadazzled onto it (I don’t even remember getting that, but it must have been a BCA or Mothers Day giveaway); two “commemorative” A’s baseballs with July 5, 2010 and the A’s logo printed on them; an A’s flag that I bought to hang on my Stanford cubicle to piss off my boss, right before I decided my abrupt resignation would a) piss her off more, and b) make me happier than a flag on a cube wall would.
And maybe some other stuff that’s in the garage, forgotten and sad.
Any possible interest in any of it?
A Braden bobblehead might look nice in the front row of my collection, next to Ellis and Roy Steele. The back row are Bradley and Crosby.
Yours!
And wtf…?
(Edit: I fixed the html… does the comment look normal now? Let’s hit the little “update comment” button and see, shall we?)
Added as a reply to my comment where image didn’t appear, because for some reason I CAN’T EDIT THAT COMMENT.
Huh?
There’s a comment you can’t edit? You should have that permission in spades.
The blog does prevent duplicate (i.e. exactly the same including tags) comments.
Maybe only I can see it? Between FSU’s 4:38 comment and my comment with the screengrab, do you see a comment from me?
Whoa … weird. The comment is there, but there’s no Name/Date/(Edit) line.
Poppy, you broke FK.
I bet you failed to properly close a tag, which then effed up the HTML (you’ll note there’s a “(Edit)” text in there.
You could almost certainly edit it in the admin backend.
TWSS
According to Swedish authorities, Julian Assange failed to properly close a tag, which then effed up the HTML.
Yer so smart. I did, in fact, forget the closing quote marks on the image html.
I might possibly have some interest in the flag.
Thanks, and go As.
Yours!
OOOO Braden bobble!!!!!
I also need Giambi #2 (not the one from years ago.)
Also the flag sounds cool.
I also didn’t get the Bailey bobblehead if you find an extra of those. For some reason the Bobbleheads are the only things I get and keep as a sort of collection and I couldn’t go to either game this year.
PS I’m really seeming a bit greedy here.
Thanks!
Yeah, all that and Harbaugh too? You’re asking the Peninsula for an awful lot this Kwanzaa season.
THE PENINSULA OWES ME!1!!!
Today’s media reports seem to have Luck leaning towards a return to campus, so perhaps Harbaugh will stay too.
Well, if it makes you feel any better about your greed, FSU and MikeV seem to have beaten you to BobbleBraden and the flag, respectively… but I might have BobbleBailey. When was that? I haven’t seen him in my mess yet, but I can’t imagine that I DIDN’T get him… now I’m getting worried…
My Giambis are #2 (much like the real one), and I have two of them. So one is now yours! Or both, if you want both.
No takers on Cust? Is it because Custlovers aren’t collectors of fun things, like bobbleheads and grit?
Sweet! I would take you up on Cust, but for some reason I wound up with 4(!) Cust Bobbles from that game. Five might seem excessive, even for the most enthusiastic A’s fan.
So you want both Giambis? (Giambini? Giambii?)
One will be just perfect.
I’d be interested in the other Giambi.
I’m building an office collection.
You’d be interested in Jeremy? ;)
Only in an LB way.
[blinks]
do I wanna know how this is?
Just that you’re the most likely of us to make jokes about “interest” in mini-G
I’ll fly out to pick up the Cust bobblehead.
I’ll reserve it for whenever you make your next Oakland appearance! :)
Woohoo!
And just a reminder, there’s a 50th anniversary reprint of “Hub Fans Bid Kid Adieu” looking for a new home too.
And I have an extra Duchscherer(er) bobblehead from a couple years ago up for grabs.
I have 4 Zito neckties…
Put one on each Cust bobblehead.
Oh! I also have a Stockton Ports bobblehead of someone that I think had just gone up to Midland when the Ports bobbled him. But I don’t know where it is right now, so I can’t remember who it was. Who was it, batgirl? I think you were there, too.
Archie Gilbert?
That’s him!
I have a garage and a need for A’s stuff, Poppy.
Are you part of the forgotten and sad stuff in a garage?
[yes]
But only because you’re busy with school.
Wait, school’s over?!
School’s out, forever.
Lord, I hope not. It’s the only thing I’ve ever been good at, other than delinquency.
I love school. Not only because I love learning stuff… I’m just much better with short-term gratification (grades) than I am with wondering whether what the hell I’m doing in long-term real life is “right” or “okay” or “smart.”
Agree, agree, agree. I also like the much clearer definition of roles and a more objective standard to be held to. In a classroom there is no doubt-you are the student or you are the teacher. Even in higher levels where it is more informal it is that simple. There is none of this BS of “we are partners and we help each other” when the reality is someone is the boss. And in school I have never had a teacher come up to me with an “f” and say “Why didn’t you do a 20 page paper for me? I know I didnt ask for one but you should have expected that we would need one..”
Not that I’m bitter at work right now or anything…
I need a loose syllabus for what I “should” do while unemployed.
you rang?