Clowns ← FREE KRAUT!

Clowns 93

  1. 5:30? Not much sympathy, dude.
  2. Bill James: douchebag, dumbass
  3. All Close Plays in the Age of Photography Are the Same, Chapter … One
  4. “The young and engaging Giants”? Really, Roger?
  5. Or does he while away the evenings putting on puppet shows for himself? (The parenthetic is really good, too.)
  6. Ugh. What a nasty family.
  7. Ugh. What a nasty party.
  8. Yglesias has no understanding of hospital economics

Yankees at Rangers @ 5:07 PT, Rangers lead 3-2

93 thoughts on “Clowns

  1. monkeyball Oct 22,2010 3:45 pm
    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  2. andeux Oct 22,2010 3:58 pm
    TINSTAAFK
    • monkeyball Oct 22,2010 4:08 pm || Up

      Kristofferson, what an apposite role

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
      • monkeyball Oct 22,2010 4:13 pm || Up

        (Duvall, what an Apostle role.)

        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  3. andeux Oct 22,2010 4:02 pm

    via tango, there’s some pretty interesting stats-based stuff here.
    Main takeaway from the current entry: the NBA season is way too fucking long. I’m curious what the values for the NHL would be. My guess is more like baseball than like basketball.

    TINSTAAFK
    • monkeyball Oct 22,2010 4:11 pm || Up

      I heartily endorse reducing the NFL season to 11 games. Ideally on the front end.

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
      • andeux Oct 22,2010 4:21 pm || Up

        … and also reducing the MLB season to 67 games, presumably.

        TINSTAAFK
  4. andeux Oct 22,2010 4:09 pm
    TINSTAAFK
    • monkeyball Oct 22,2010 4:16 pm || Up

      And when a Jays runner is thrown out at second …

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  5. andeux Oct 22,2010 4:11 pm
    TINSTAAFK
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Oct 22,2010 6:13 pm || Up

      The Orioles would do better with Aleister Crowley.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • ptbnl Oct 22,2010 6:17 pm || Up

        Hell, they’d do better with Sgt James Crowley (especially visiting the Red Sox).

        If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
      • monkeyball Oct 22,2010 10:59 pm || Up

        I can’t wait to see Kevin Costner in For Lovecraft of the Game

        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  6. monkeyball Oct 22,2010 5:02 pm

    Say what you will about the tenets of historical reenactors …

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  7. Soaker Oct 22,2010 5:05 pm

    Passing rain shower hits The Ballpark in Arlington, resulting in this wonderful disclosure from Eric Nadel (Rangers radio guy):

    “The grounds crew couldn’t get the tarp deployed as fast as they normally would, because when the rain hit the National Anthem was being performed by B.J. Thomas.”

    What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
    • monkeyball Oct 22,2010 5:08 pm || Up

      That is almost a TWHS

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • ptbnl Oct 22,2010 5:17 pm || Up

      And from the TBS crew “Raindrops kept falling on BJ Thomas’ head”.

      If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
  8. monkeyball Oct 22,2010 5:05 pm
    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  9. ptbnl Oct 22,2010 6:37 pm

    That’s an absurd missed call … Swisher crumples to the ground, the ball changes direction and goes between the umps legs, and it’s not called a HBP.

    If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
  10. andeux Oct 22,2010 6:54 pm

    Another dumb IBB

    TINSTAAFK
    • monkeyball Oct 22,2010 7:10 pm || Up

      Now I would presume that a low-run environment would make any hypothetical IBB even more costly, right?

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  11. monkeyball Oct 22,2010 7:06 pm

    That Cruz HR just added $20m to the Yankees offer to Lee

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  12. FreeSeatUpgrade Oct 22,2010 7:19 pm

    I’m having a hard time wrapping my brain around the concept of Colby Lewis, pennant-clinching pitcher.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • monkeyball Oct 22,2010 7:24 pm || Up

      Dallas Braden, perfect-game pitcher is more plausible?

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • Soaker Oct 22,2010 7:45 pm || Up

      Why is it that I think Lewis is going to face Buster Posey and Cody Ross in the World Series and turn into a steaming pile?

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
      • nevermoor Oct 22,2010 10:51 pm || Up

        If Posey is the WS MVP I’ll never be able to talk to a giants fan again.

        "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
        • mk Oct 23,2010 6:35 am || Up

          Nationally, though, the Hamilton/Lee hero worship is much worse. At this point, the Rangers have to lose in order to bring the universe back into balance.

          Really this is a test for Christ. What does he care about more, helping Josh Hamilton win baseball games and become even more wealthy than he already is, or helping me eradicate words like “aura” and “presence” and “redemption” from the sportswriter lexicon? My quest is unassailably righteous, but also probably fruitless. Hamilton’s quest is meaningless but doable, and will also lead to more people liking Christ. I think if Christ is true to himself, he will not sacrifice my noble dream for a cheaply bought spike in his own popularity.

  13. Soaker Oct 22,2010 8:08 pm

    Sports stuff that hasn’t happened in my lifetime (50 years next spring):

    1. Chicago Cubs play in the World Series.
    2. Texas Rangers play in the World Series.
    3. San Francisco Giants win the World Series.
    4. A team from Texas wins the World Series.
    5. Cal plays in the Rose Bowl.

    What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
  14. andeux Oct 22,2010 8:11 pm

    Go Phillies.

    TINSTAAFK
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Oct 22,2010 8:27 pm || Up

      We welcome you onto the bandwagon, Buffalo boy, late to the party though you be.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • andeux Oct 23,2010 10:30 am || Up

        Ah, but they’ve only played teams that I ranked lower, so I’ve been rooting for them all along.

        TINSTAAFK
    • grover Oct 23,2010 6:10 pm || Up

      Honestly that is the only safe and sane choice left for A’s fans.

  15. JediLeroy Oct 23,2010 3:51 am

    az di bobe volt gehat beytsim volt zi geven mayn zeyde
  16. FreeSeatUpgrade Oct 23,2010 4:28 pm

    I thought Sanchez was gonna get shelled in Game 2, as I’ve though in each of his big game outings over the last month. Now I think he’s gonna pitch well. Hope I’m wrong again.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  17. FreeSeatUpgrade Oct 23,2010 5:58 pm

    Sanchez and the Phillies D are both looking suspect. Is Chase Utley’s walkup music really Kashmir?

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • Soaker Oct 23,2010 6:02 pm || Up

      When Sanchez starts coming unglued, it’s just like watching Bad Gio.

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
  18. FreeSeatUpgrade Oct 23,2010 6:02 pm

    Man, Sanchez’ headcase side sure showed up tonight.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  19. FreeSeatUpgrade Oct 23,2010 7:55 pm

    Crap. Friggin Uribe.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  20. monkeyball Oct 23,2010 8:14 pm

    I can’t tell if Bork’s pitching moves have been canny, panicky, or uncanny/weird.

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • Soaker Oct 23,2010 8:25 pm || Up

      Well, the Lincecum move tells you exactly what, deep down, Bochy thinks of Jairo.

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Oct 23,2010 8:48 pm || Up

      Panicky.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  21. monkeyball Oct 23,2010 8:41 pm

    PT and I are gonna go celebrate.

    Wilson really is a heart attack on wheels, isn’t he?

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  22. FreeSeatUpgrade Oct 23,2010 8:47 pm

    Fuck.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  23. FreeSeatUpgrade Oct 23,2010 8:51 pm

    I wasn’t entirely sure before, were it to come to a Texas-SF series, which team I’d be rooting for. But I am now: Fuck the Giants, from their apple-cheeked wunderkind catcher to their silver-pompadour’d, hideous orange and black bow-tied owner.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • sslinger Oct 23,2010 9:17 pm || Up

      h8rs unite!

    • nevermoor Oct 24,2010 12:47 am || Up

      Yeah. Easy call for me.

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • oblique Oct 24,2010 6:35 am || Up

      Yep. I was really hoping for a “heartbreaking” Phillies comeback.

    • Soaker Oct 24,2010 10:42 am || Up

      I’ll be supporting our AL West rivals, in much the same way as I root for Pac-10 teams in nonconference games. All in all it benefits Cal if the Pac-10 has a strong nonconference record, so I even root for Stanford and USC…especially when they’re playing somebody evil like Notre Dame, so there’s something of a parallel in this World Series. A Rangers World Championship brings a bit more attention and respect to the AL West and I don’t think it impacts the A’s long-term chances one way or the other.

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
    • mk Oct 24,2010 11:59 am || Up

      Thin gruel, FSU.

      After 3-4 innings of Buck & McCarver talking up Andrus’s free-spirited youthful spark-inducing dynamism and Michael Young’s professional hitterness and how super humble and inspiring Josh Hamilton is and how Ron Washington really connects and motivates and gets little-kid excited and waves runners around third from the dugout and also did you realize Cliff Lee was a strike throwing machine, you will switch sides.

  24. JediLeroy Oct 23,2010 8:56 pm

    Dad’s a Giants fan, so no animosity here towards the guys across the bay.

    az di bobe volt gehat beytsim volt zi geven mayn zeyde
    • mother pucker Oct 23,2010 11:09 pm || Up

      Ditto.

      • Poppy Oct 24,2010 12:49 pm || Up

        Ditto ditto, multiplied by my whole family (not just late dad). I rooted for Giants last week, I’m rooting for them this week.

        There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
  25. andeux Oct 23,2010 10:33 pm

    Bah humbug.

    TINSTAAFK
  26. monkeyball Oct 24,2010 9:09 am

    Was chopping vegetables to cook a batch of Rancho Gordo beans this morning (eye of the goat), and had a million-dollar idea: I need to move to NYC and start a soup counter called Mirepoix on 34th Street.

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  27. FreeSeatUpgrade Oct 24,2010 10:01 am

    No matter who wins, Bengie Molina gets another World Series ring, striking another blow against the tyranny of healthy eating zealots.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • ptbnl Oct 24,2010 10:26 am || Up

      Is that a first (the ring-regardless-of-outcome, not the zealots)?

      If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
  28. batgirl Oct 24,2010 3:03 pm

    Not one word, FSU, not even a peep.

    • ptbnl Oct 24,2010 3:36 pm || Up

      Oh my!

      If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Oct 24,2010 3:39 pm || Up

      Heh heh. Long time coming.

      Still, it is testimony to what being a Raider fan has become that their 38-7 lead at halftime found me thinking “they could totally still blow this.”

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • batgirl Oct 24,2010 3:52 pm || Up

        I’d wager that feeling has long since left the building and victory has now settled comfortably into your soul.

        I’ve settled into cleaning my sock drawer and reading my ballot.

        • sslinger Oct 25,2010 9:18 am || Up

          My friend in Boulder took his two impressionable young sons to the game yesterday. I imagine they’re scarred Raider fans for life.

    • nevermoor Oct 24,2010 4:07 pm || Up

      At least there won’t be any more of the stupid “we want Carr” crap.

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • Leopold Bloom Oct 24,2010 8:05 pm || Up

      I wondered if you would show up here or whether you’d just pull the Prius into the garage and see what happens.

  29. nevermoor Oct 24,2010 4:16 pm
    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  30. nevermoor Oct 24,2010 4:17 pm

    70 MPG!

    I’d still want an all electric for personal convenience reasons, but still.

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • Soaker Oct 24,2010 4:46 pm || Up

      A lighter body design will also help improve the fuel economy of the next-generation Mazda2 even further. The automaker’s new SKYACTIV-Body is claimed to be 8 percent lighter yet 30 percent more rigid than current designs. These gains are mostly achieved through optimized bonding methods and expanded use of high-tensile steel.

      We’ll see about that. Is this car’s body going to be substantial enough to pass modern safety standard requirements? I loved my 1986 Honda CRX, which got up to 45 mpg on a long highway drive if I was disciplined about speed, but good grief that thing was flimsy. That was before airbag requirements too. If I had ever been in a major accident in the CRX you guys and gals wouldn’t have to suffer through my comments here, that’s for sure.

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
    • monkeyball Oct 24,2010 6:10 pm || Up

      “we want Car”

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  31. monkeyball Oct 24,2010 6:12 pm

    Jack FKin Cust

    He keeps this up, the economy will make Palin competitive in ’12.

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • nevermoor Oct 24,2010 7:28 pm || Up

      Yep.

      Not a good decision.

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  32. andeux Oct 24,2010 6:37 pm
    TINSTAAFK
    • monkeyball Oct 24,2010 6:43 pm || Up

      Uh, whoa, indeed.

      My first reaction was “lowball,” but:

      The A’s offered Young a substantial raise, nearly 40 percent according to a major-league source, but like other members of the staff, Young, who has had a two-year deal before, was offered a one-year deal. That isn’t uncommon for coaching staffs when a manager is signed through only the following season.

      Looks like it’s Skinner in ’12.

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
      • ptbnl Oct 24,2010 6:49 pm || Up

        If they wanted to align coaching staff contracts with the manager’s why wouldn’t they have offered a 3 year deal 2 years ago?

        If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
        • monkeyball Oct 24,2010 6:54 pm || Up

          Does anyone give coaches 3y deals?

          you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • batgirl Oct 24,2010 6:47 pm || Up

      WTH?!!! This day just keeps getting worse.

    • Soaker Oct 24,2010 7:08 pm || Up

      Ever had to work closely with someone you don’t respect? For a while, maybe a long while, you can put the differences aside, but eventually something’s gotta give. I’ll speculate that Young made this decision the day in September when the A’s picked up Geren’s option for 2011. Young has a great reputation; he obviously would have been justified in thinking that he’d have his pick of jobs if he decided to move on.

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
      • lenscrafters Oct 24,2010 10:42 pm || Up

        How do you know Young disrespects Geren? I haven’t heard a peep about Young having issues with Geren since Geren became manager.

        I think it’s more likely a combination of him wanting to take advantage of recent, more lucrative/prestigious opportunities that opened up (Red Sox/Cardinals pitching coach position, for example) + the A’s not wanting to offer a multi-year deal.

        • mother pucker Oct 24,2010 11:10 pm || Up

          They are speculating on **, that he may be taking a job with Arizona. If that is the case, uh, well, uh maybe he has family in the greater Phoenix area?

          • lenscrafters Oct 24,2010 11:23 pm || Up

            He does and if true, perhaps they’re also offering him more money/years.

    • Poppy Oct 24,2010 11:30 pm || Up

      Well, shit.

      There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
  33. ptbnl Oct 24,2010 6:45 pm

    More toxic waste (of space) from BP.

    If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
  34. Leopold Bloom Oct 25,2010 8:37 am
  35. mk Oct 25,2010 11:46 am

    I assume Obama keeps them somewhere in the folds of his Muslim garb:

    General Hugh Shelton, who served as chairman of the joint chiefs of staff under Mr Clinton, says the codes were lost for months, leaving the US unable to launch its nuclear weapons.

    […]

    Col Patterson, who carried the “nuclear football” of codes for the president, quotes Mr Clinton as saying: “I don’t have mine on me: I’ll track it down, guys, and get back to you.” He adds that on other occasions Mr Clinton had misplaced the codes, which he attached by a rubber band to credit cards in his wallet.

    OK, so you’re the president, and you have the nuke codes on a little (presumably laminated) card. You can’t lose it, and you’ve got to take it everywhere you go. Where would you put it? As absurd as it sounds, rubberbanding it to your credit cards seems like as good a strategy as any (though obviously you have to be careful when you pay for dinner).

    I guess inner suit jacket pocket would be an option. But presidents take their jackets off all the time. You can’t drape the nuke codes over a chair during a town hall, for crissakes. Plus every day you’ve got to execute the jacket to nightstand to next day’s jacket transfer. You can’t put it in your shoe (comfort issues) or your underwear (extreme comfort issues). So it’s got to be the wallet.

    • nevermoor Oct 25,2010 12:06 pm || Up

      Yeah. Except a president probably doesn’t have much occasion to use credit cards either.

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • batgirl Oct 25,2010 12:06 pm || Up

      I’m glad to see that they are safeguarded with the same care I use for my Supercuts frequent buyer card.

  36. nevermoor Oct 25,2010 12:27 pm
    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  37. nevermoor Oct 25,2010 1:10 pm

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • monkeyball Oct 25,2010 1:44 pm || Up

      Isn’t Cahoots a Gold Rush town up in the foothills?

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  38. nevermoor Oct 26,2010 10:00 am

    Good news!

    Half of all doctors using electronic records, most of the rest considering it

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • monkeyball Oct 26,2010 10:08 am || Up

      That’s just so that the Bilderbergs can track their investments in ownership of US natural persons more easily.

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come

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