KOTD: Le kraut, c’est moi ← FREE KRAUT!

KOTD: Le kraut, c’est moi 62

30 Jul 2010  |  monkeyball  |KOTD · The Grill

SPECIAL LIMITED-EDITION CANADIAN KOTD!!!!

  1. Le Kraut King est mort! Vive le Kraut King! (Seriously, though, could anyone make head or tail of that article? Do Winnipeggians … uh, Winnipudlians … Winipedias … have some weird Daily Variety-type local patois?)
  2. Hands off my government kraut, you filthy Quebecois Randians!
  3. Did anyone else know that Mark McGuire is “kraut-minded”?

BONUS ANTIPODEAN KOTD!!!!!

  1. Kraut, riding Cedric

BONUS PARA-MARITIMES KOTD!!!!

  1. Bernie’s Forewhat sandwiches?!?

62 thoughts on “KOTD: Le kraut, c’est moi”

  1. salb918 Jul 30,2010 12:44 pm

    So I had an embarrassing moment yesterday – a senior colleague was curious about my research, so I whipped out my computer and fired up some slides. She paused, squinted at me, and pointed to the FK sticker on my computer and said, “…free…kraut…what is that?”

    The best I could come up with on short notice was, “Uh, we’re a loose association of friends united by the common notion that sauerkraut ought to be provided free of charge at the Oakland Coliseum.”

    And boy did I ever get a funny look.

    • nevermoor Jul 30,2010 1:21 pm || Up

      You should have said something about your German heritage.

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
      • salb918 Jul 30,2010 1:25 pm || Up

        I guess technically I’m a Caucasian…

        • monkeyball Jul 30,2010 7:01 pm || Up

          In the way you’re an Ivy Leaguer?

          you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • Leopold Bloom Jul 31,2010 2:48 pm || Up

      You didn’t mention me?

  2. salb918 Jul 30,2010 12:46 pm

    Cristian Guzman –> Mariners.

  3. salb918 Jul 30,2010 12:49 pm
  4. salb918 Jul 30,2010 1:01 pm
    • monkeyball Jul 30,2010 1:42 pm || Up

      “What is the transcript of Bob Geren’s managerial interview with the Oakland A’s?”

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • Poppy Jul 30,2010 7:49 pm || Up

      Fitzgerald contacted News10 to publicize the ordeal despite the embarrassment it will cause her. She said she was preparing her daughter for the story to break. “I’d like everyone to know about it what a fucking idiot I am,” she said.

      (Fixed.)

      There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
  5. monkeyball Jul 30,2010 1:57 pm
    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • Poppy Jul 30,2010 8:05 pm || Up

      It was widely reported last year that Zondervan would publish a special Christian edition of Going Rogue

      What the hell is a “special Christian edition” of a book? Serious (even if dumb) question.

      There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
      • ptbnl Jul 30,2010 8:17 pm || Up

        The chapters are split into verses.

        If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
      • monkeyball Jul 31,2010 7:32 pm || Up

        Didn’t Kirk sleep with one of the Zondervans?

        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  6. nevermoor Jul 30,2010 1:58 pm
    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • Poppy Jul 30,2010 8:08 pm || Up

      Those are big guys. I don’t think I’ll recognize a 49ers QB who isn’t either running for his life or flat on his back.

      There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
      • nevermoor Jul 30,2010 9:22 pm || Up

        That’s the hope.

        "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  7. monkeyball Jul 30,2010 2:20 pm

    This, plus Mauer = Chavez makes it even worse

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  8. monkeyball Jul 30,2010 2:38 pm
    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • Poppy Jul 30,2010 8:16 pm || Up

      Since I honestly can’t say it better (or as well) myself…

      I have to believe that most Americans are sane and do in fact reject this bullshit. I also believe that most Americans aren’t even paying attention to half of this stuff. I think those of us who are in tune everyday are not the vast majority… more…

      There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
  9. monkeyball Jul 30,2010 3:08 pm

    Per Slusser’s Twitter, Anderson off DL, Bailey on; Buck off DL and activated for Sacto.

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • Soaker Jul 30,2010 5:02 pm || Up

      Sweeney –> 60-day DL to make room for Buck on the 40-man roster.
      Sheets is presently on the 15-day DL, so in the event of an acquisition before tomorrow afternoon, putting him on the 60 would be the next logical step.

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
  10. monkeyball Jul 30,2010 3:35 pm

    Lance Berkman -> Yankees. Presumably that means they’re out of the running for Dunn?

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  11. monkeyball Jul 30,2010 3:55 pm

    Um … what.

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • sslinger Jul 30,2010 4:43 pm || Up

      Is that really a surprise to anyone?

      • monkeyball Jul 30,2010 4:56 pm || Up

        He really is LBJ, isn’t he?

        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
        • nevermoor Jul 30,2010 5:20 pm || Up

          LBJ couldn’t pass HCR

          "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
          • monkeyball Jul 30,2010 5:55 pm || Up

            Um, yeah, but that’s only b/c he passed so much other shit.

            (Those are … NACHO BILLS)

            you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  12. nevermoor Jul 30,2010 4:38 pm
    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  13. sslinger Jul 30,2010 4:41 pm

    #3 – I thought the lingo in this was far more bizarre than in #1. But I’ve been to Winnipeg, and I can understand why there’s a drinking problem there (native issues or not).

    • sslinger Jul 30,2010 4:48 pm || Up

      And I saw Robert Fripp do that same type of thing but old school – with two reel-to-reels – in ’79.

      • monkeyball Jul 30,2010 4:55 pm || Up

        Frippertronics!

        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
        • sslinger Jul 30,2010 4:59 pm || Up

          Light years ahead of the Frappucino.

          • monkeyball Jul 30,2010 5:05 pm || Up

            Frippajerkaccino!

            you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  14. monkeyball Jul 30,2010 5:00 pm

    I have half an inclination to start a Twitter feed devoted to Sarah Palin’s fandom of this in-demand Blue Jays reliever.

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • sslinger Jul 30,2010 5:10 pm || Up

      Maybe you can get Sully to promote it.

      • monkeyball Jul 30,2010 5:13 pm || Up

        Speaking of which … JediLeroy, you still feel like doing that Palin photoshop job?

        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  15. monkeyball Jul 30,2010 6:09 pm

    You have got to be kidding me. Electric? Really?

    Between Cole and Ezra Klein, I don’t know why they bother with the culinary links.

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • nevermoor Jul 30,2010 7:27 pm || Up

      Probably what was there when he moved in. I wouldn’t upgrade a working electric either.

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
      • monkeyball Jul 30,2010 8:39 pm || Up

        Absent structural defects, that’d be the first thing I upgraded

        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
        • nevermoor Jul 30,2010 9:24 pm || Up

          Why?

          "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
          • sslinger Jul 30,2010 11:17 pm || Up

            He likes to cook.

          • JediLeroy Jul 31,2010 12:46 am || Up

            My parents haven’t ever upgraded, and my mom’s a gourmet cook. However, the electric range is pretty finicky and often takes too long to get hot. On the other hand, the electric always seemed to do low temperatures better than most gas ranges (you can’t really get the temperature lower than that of fire).

            Our stove is in an island in the kitchen, pretty hard to get at.

            To make up for the stove, they built a wood fire pizza oven in the back yard.

            az di bobe volt gehat beytsim volt zi geven mayn zeyde
        • Poppy Jul 31,2010 7:54 am || Up

          I’m with you. In general, I don’t have a whole lot of enthusiasm for cooking, but it needs to be done, and I need to do it… and when I was doing it electrically, I hated it.

          The only apartment I’ve ever had with a gas range is the one we’re in now, about 90 years old (the building, not the range). The massive 1950s range was one of the things that “sold” the place to me, it was exactly like my parents’ (mom’s) range before they remodeled their kitchen in 1980. Unfortunately, the range in my apartment tried to kill me with CO (the gas, not the state) and it had to be replaced. The landlord was going to get an electric replacement, and I just about begged her not to. So I still have a gas range, albeit a newer and very boring one.

          Maybe electric would have increased the rental value? I would think not, in an “old” (by suburban California standards) building like this… I think people who like old buildings also like — or are at least tolerant of — quirks and functional antiquity.

          There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
          • nevermoor Jul 31,2010 9:14 am || Up

            Don’t get me wrong, I prefer gas too (and haven’t had electric in several years). But I wouldn’t spend $1000 to upgrade a working electric.

            "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  16. monkeyball Jul 30,2010 6:11 pm
    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  17. andeux Jul 31,2010 2:44 pm
    TINSTAAFK
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Jul 31,2010 2:56 pm || Up

      To take Anderson’s rotation spot when he goes down tomorrow, no doubt.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  18. andeux Jul 31,2010 2:57 pm

    Trade deadline:

    Ludwick -> Padres
    Lilly, Theriot -> Dodgers
    Dotel -> Dodgers
    Westbrook -> Cardinals
    Ankiel, Farnsworth -> Braves
    Berkman -> Yankees
    Kearns -> Yankees
    Kerry Wood -> Yankees
    Saltalamacchia -> Bosox

    And in a bizarro version of a first-place team adding another star to solidify their place in the standings, the DBacks got Bobby Crosby.

    TINSTAAFK
  19. FreeSeatUpgrade Jul 31,2010 3:43 pm

    With two outs in the eighth, leading 1-0, Kuo of the Dodgers hit Buster Posey with a pitch, by all appearances deliberately. Next batter Pat Burrell goes yard, Giants lead 2-1. Good thing the Dodgers know how to play the game the right way.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  20. FreeSeatUpgrade Jul 31,2010 8:10 pm

    One guy’s list of the 100 best ever long-form English language magazine articles, with links to most of them.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  21. monkeyball Jul 31,2010 10:48 pm
    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  22. monkeyball Jul 31,2010 10:50 pm
    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • Leopold Bloom Jul 31,2010 11:14 pm || Up

      There’s NOTHING WRONG with having fun, damn it!

  23. Leopold Bloom Aug 1,2010 4:30 am

    Remember that great vase we saw on Nash Bridges? We can stop looking.

    • batgirl Aug 3,2010 10:33 am || Up

      What an odd and repellent selling point.

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