Condiment Bar 042008: cuteness overload ← FREE KRAUT!

Condiment Bar 042008: cuteness overload 145

20 Apr 2009  |  monkeyball  |The Grill

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cBtFTF2ii7U&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en&feature=player_embedded&fs=1]

And remember, I still have baby pictures to deploy as part of my armamentarium.

145 thoughts on “Condiment Bar 042008: cuteness overload”

  1. mikeA Apr 20,2009 10:29 am

    my new favorite website. They had a flier on a telephone pole which depicted someone protected from banana-throwing monkeys by a force-shield, but sadly it is not on the website.

    • Leopold Bloom Apr 20,2009 2:22 pm || Up

      You gotta talk to the Irish webmaster, Packie O’Derm.

      I like the part where you hold vigil for your doggie friend.

  2. 74mk Apr 20,2009 10:31 am

    Seriously?

    Outfielder Travis Buck didn’t play in the series as the A’s faced three consecutive left-handers, but he said he took grounders at third base Saturday and is ready to play anywhere.

    Seriously?, take 2:

    [I]f the A’s can use a first baseman more than a backup third baseman, Doolittle’s arrival might be accelerated.

    Slusser’s persistent Doolittle-stroking (and, by inference, Barton-bashing) has to be coming from somewhere. If it’s entirely speculative, that would be strange. But it seems equally strange that Doolittle would have leapfrogged Barton on the basis of one spring and 40 AAA at-bats.

  3. mikeA Apr 20,2009 10:42 am
  4. salb918 Apr 20,2009 11:02 am
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Apr 20,2009 5:10 pm || Up

      Re oddity advantages:

      Is the homer-happiness of New Yankee Stadium…

      a. Simply an abberration of small-smaple size?

      b. A result of subtle differences in the contour of the outfield wall?

      c. Or, as Hit Tracker’s Greg Rybarczyk provocatively claims, because the ball is juiced…again.

      After explaining his process of adjusting for ballpark and conditions:

      So, very early this season (actually on the second full day of games), I had already noticed that balls were seemingly flying farther than they usually do, so I checked my numbers, and noticed that the standard distances of all the home runs around MLB were a lot longer than those hit in 2008. Since then, I’ve continues tracking this, and what was little more than a feeling and some numbers off a very small sample size have become a lot more compelling: the first 350 home runs this year are flying, on average, about 6 feet farther than last year. The likellihood that such a difference could come about by chance is exceedingly low, less than 0.0031% the last time I ran the stats on that. I’ve tried to come up with some other possible ways that league-wide homers could be flying so much farther, given that the weather is already factored out, and the ball is the most likely explanation.

    • nevermoor Apr 20,2009 5:35 pm || Up

      On #2: Maybe being polite to the robot makes you happier/nicer/better and makes you think of the robot as an assistant rather than a tool. Then again, maybe that’s BS.

      On #3: I disagree. I think the oddities of, say, Wrigley and Fenway have played some role in those teams’ historic futility.

  5. salb918 Apr 20,2009 11:06 am

    Damn that video, I’m crying now.

    I AM NOT A STRONG MAN!

  6. salb918 Apr 20,2009 11:14 am
    • Leopold Bloom Apr 20,2009 8:47 pm || Up

      Poppy, a clown, normal or evil, raping an otter, is not funny, regardless of how funny the image may be. Frankly, I’m disappointed in you and offended that you would bring this up in a…condiment bar. I have a job, you know. My boss is overbearing and prevents me from masturbating and your insensitivity to this is not helping.

  7. xbhaskarx Apr 20,2009 11:20 am
    • Poppy Apr 21,2009 10:12 am || Up

      Wow, those topless & pantsless otters in the other thread really got you going, didn’t they?

  8. monkeyball Apr 20,2009 11:31 am
  9. monkeyball Apr 20,2009 11:40 am

    This sounds like the Coen Bros direct American Psycho:

    THE MAD MISS MANTON (1938, d. Leigh Jason) – Dizzy heiress Melsa Manton and her manicured band of Park Avenue pranksters think Manhattan is an amusement park built just for them. So when Melsa stumbles across a murder victim, the pranksters decide to play detective. The only trouble is that the murderer is playing too – for keeps.

  10. monkeyball Apr 20,2009 11:50 am

    I dunno. Depends on how his injured shoulders feel.

  11. xbhaskarx Apr 20,2009 11:55 am

    Too lazy to link:
    21 dead polo horses in FL?
    Craigslist Killer?

  12. xbhaskarx Apr 20,2009 11:57 am

    Coming June 23: Last Year at Marienbad!

  13. monkeyball Apr 20,2009 12:19 pm
  14. xbhaskarx Apr 20,2009 12:21 pm

    Breaking Bad actors are all over television recently…
    Hank: the last episode of LOST
    Badger: deodorant commercial

  15. xbhaskarx Apr 20,2009 12:48 pm

    Today’s A’s-Yankees game has been postponed due to rain.

    Noooo!

  16. monkeyball Apr 20,2009 12:48 pm

    Just in case anyone is listening: “This condiment bar doesn’t exist.”

  17. monkeyball Apr 20,2009 1:01 pm
  18. 74mk Apr 20,2009 1:46 pm

    Trenchant analysis:

    Do the A’s go with Crosby, hoping regular at-bats will bring his bat to life enough to make up for his defensive inconsistencies at third?

  19. mikeA Apr 20,2009 2:15 pm

    funny post from suslu:

    Geren said Garciaparra was on the phone when he walked past him on the bus and the infielder had given him the thumbs up, which might be interpreted to mean that there’s a chance Garciaparra might go tomorrow.

  20. Jennifer Apr 20,2009 2:17 pm

    Who do I talk to about getting this video removed? Seriously! It’s just me and a dog!

  21. mikeA Apr 20,2009 2:17 pm

    A’s have an absurdly difficult July schedule: 7 at Boston, 4 at NYY, 3 at TB, 4 vs. slegna out of 26 games.

  22. JediLeroy Apr 20,2009 2:37 pm
  23. Leopold Bloom Apr 20,2009 3:36 pm

    I just wrote this ass-hat and asked him if he understood the definition of expenses. Jesus, this pissed me off.

    (but then again, what doesn’t these days?)

  24. batgirl Apr 20,2009 3:40 pm

    I’m pretty inept without the handy ** cheat buttons. How would I go about linking and blockquoting over here?

  25. 74mk Apr 20,2009 4:14 pm

    1. I was surprised to see my close proximity to one of the best turkey clubs I’ve ever had!

    2. What is the point of saying “please” to a robot? Does the robot flip you the bird or something if you forgo courtesy?

    Intel, the worldwide computer-chip maker, headquartered in Santa Clara, Calif., has developed a self-controlled mobile robot called Herb, the Home Exploring Robotic Butler. Herb can recognize faces and carry out generalized commands such as “please clean this mess,” according to Justin Rattner, Intel’s chief technology officer.

    3. Oddities bestow advantages:

    If I were building a new park for maximum home field advantage, I would choose one which had a difficult hitting background, increasing strikeouts and making it a low scoring park, with short but high fences down the lines to maximize doubles, and spacious alleys to maximize triples and further minimize scoring. Astroturf also would also help (while astroturf is not significant in itself, it is positively correlated with doubles and triples). Throw in gale force winds, hard brick walls, and a hill in right field, and you’d have yourself a ballpark.

  26. Poppy Apr 20,2009 5:40 pm

    When the hell is this game that’s on CSN-CA?

  27. salb918 Apr 20,2009 7:20 pm

    While enjoying a nice picnic lunch in the commons with my family, we noticed a commotion. A loudspeaker that sounded like someone giving play-by-play of a sporting event. People running around a field. Balls being thrown in the air. A crowd of onlookers cheering.

    Intrigued, we went closer. What we found shocked us.

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