Outman vs Purcey BLUE JAYS A’s Scutaro SS Sweeney CF Hill 2B Cabrera SS Rios RF Giambi 1B Wells CF Holliday LF Lind DH Garciaparra DH Rolen 3B Cust RF Millar 1B Suzuki C Barrett C Ellis 2B Bautista LF Crosby 3B
Below the fold: pointless small sample fretting about Toronto’s prodigious offensive output so far in 2009;
personal anecdote relating to beards and barista girls; Heidi Klum’s recipe for sauerkraut soup; various non-
revelatory items concerning David Purcey; how peeing off an elevated walkway can be dangerous.
Pointless small sample fretting:
Toronto’s team OPS+ is 135. They lead the league in runs. Pretty much everyone but Rios and Barajas is hitting like .526.
On the other hand, they’ve been held in check by the likes of Edwin Jackson, Zach Minor, and Glen Perkins, Rolen is
due to snap a hamstring any day now, and their middle infield stands about as a good a chance of sustaining its
current pace as I do of growing a beard without unmanagable scraggliness and enormous bare patches along my
jawline. Speaking of which —
Beards, barista girls:
I had a beard for awhile until shaving recently, which I did partly because I thought I should pretend to be a
grownup again but mostly because I was 75-85% sure the 20 year-old barista girls at the coffee shop down the street
were starting to regard me with even more derision than usual, in a “he’s old and pathetic and failing hilariously
in his attempt to look young and cool and Jesus please take this coffee and vacate the premises immediately because
I am so embarrassed for you that I can’t properly concentrate on making this next foamy skim double caff caramel
whatever” kind of way.
So anyway, I shaved, and so far my life is precisely the same. But the year is new! (sort of), and I’m still
holding out hope that TV has not been lying to me all these years, that if I adopt a (slightly) new (though
actually old, in that it’s the same way I used to look before I morphed into a Chuck Klosterman clone) appearance,
I will become happier, more successful, more apt to work hard and achieve and gain peer respect, etc., that
cosmetic shifts do in fact catalyze soul-strengthening epiphanies and improved psychosocial adaptability, that one
of these days I’ll be the proud khaki-clad holder of a suburbamansion mortgage, with a respectable job and a
modestly pretty wife and a subscription to Portfolio magazine.
Perchance, to dream!
Sauerkraut
soup (Klum family recipe)
David Purcey:
Lots of walks and homers in his 76 major league innings so far, but lots of strikeouts as well. Fangraphs tells me
his repertoire is almost
exclusively fastball-slider, and also this:
Purcey sacrificed a little velocity on his fastball for increased command: �Purcey is capable of
dialing his fastball up to 93-95 MPH, but the Blue Jays have toned him down to the low 90�s to improve his
location.�
Here is
a “release point corrected spin direction angle x rpm” chart from his last start. I have $10 for the first person
who can explain (cogently) a) what the fuck that means, and b) why the fuck it matters.
(Hey xbhaskarx, did you know Fangraphs has these awesome, what are they called, win expected, or expectation or
something graphs? Anyway, they’re really awesome!!! We should use them!! :)!!!)
Elevated walkway pissing:
If you really must do it, try to avoid the trolley
wires.]]>
{snerk}
Speaking generally, spin speed and angle determine pitch
type, and therefore pitch movement. More later,when I’m not on a mobile device.
During my junior year abroad, I played electric drums
for Elektroschutz in Bildern.
David Purcey and Louis CK]] >
The AL West: where
Vidro, Nomar, and Izturis can DH.
I love these Jays unis.
you are hereby banned from watching any more games.
Korach’s better for you anyway. He’s easier on your digestive system.
What’s the A’s Win Expectorant today? Gotta be at least
12.
You don’t feel loved here?
I love you, LB.
(better?)
Here? Or there?
well, that was an underwhelming conclusion to that half
-inning
Celebrate!
Or kick the shit out of a sign to cheer up LB.
Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m gonna live it up
with my take-home midterm!
Good thing we didn’t
have Cust or Buck hitting in that situation…
stirrups!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dammit–was that Scutaro?
sign kicking is encouraged. From now until the end of
time. Kick a sign.
you have got to be shitting me
+1, rec’d, and flagged
Marco!
..wait–
*backs away slowly*
-OR-
You just gotta love a leadoff homer by the opposing team. /OTP
I blame Slusser.
Honestly?
a little.
No, the signing on thing is there. They’re not who I
thought they were. Well, they’re not who they were five years ago.
I just don’t feel loved here because I don’t crunch numbers, don’t wanna crunch numbers and am quite inane most
days. I don’t mind crunching numbers, mind you. I just don’t do it. And I really don’t argue, either, cause of
my belief system. I try not to, anyway.
Green eggs and ham?
Wow, I’m jealous. I think I’ll kick back with my good
friends Ben & Jerry and watch a movie…
fox. box.
Just got an email at
work from the admin (Stacey) with the subject line “Pictures from the shower.”
It took me a minute to realize she was talking about the baby shower we’d had for a co-worker earlier in the
day.
SuSlu (no link, I want
her to call me out):
So Friday –> Saturday –> Sunday.
Why not wait until June, just imagine how good his shoulder will feel by then!
You’re a donkey boning bastard uncle fucker.
Other than that, though, I’m pretty sure you’re Canadian
1. I can say with 100% certainty that none of us fuckers
hate you. Quite the opposite.
2. What mikeA said about stats.
3. There’s barely been any arguing at all on Free Kraut so far. Maybe one or two good natured (and brief)
disagreements, if that. And hell, one of those was about Ulysses.
4. I view Free Kraut as a salve for existential brooding. You’re like “what the fuck is the point, I’ll be dead
soon, no one will remember me, eventually the sun is going to explode, I hate my job, and how the hell did I get a
zit on my calf?”, then you go to Free Kraut and people are talking about monkey poop and hipster grifters and Nomar
Garciaparra’s sideburns or whatever, and all of a sudden the burdens of cosmic pointlessness are a little less
onerous.
I’d go with the 7200 RPM drive, all else (besides price)
(Poppyedit: and portability) being equal.
I’m with you…
…maybe we should start a game!
AAAAAAAAAHH!!!
I think it would take either of us a while, if we
weren’t just blatantly out and out abusive toward others. There’d have to guidelines. Namely, the first rule of
AN Outfest is we do not talk about AN Outfest.
Crosby is good at making
plays that don’t count.
I remember the beginning
of that inning…
Four score and seven batters ago..
…..aaand they lose.
Ugh, we’re losing to
Kevin f’ing Millar.
Time to check up on Gio’s stats in Sacto…
I’m of the age where I can’t hear mention of the song
without immediately thinking of the Tesla/Great White/whomever cover from the 80s. Having “come of age” during
those years, and DESPISING glam metal, I cannot help but have negative connotations with the song. In fact, maybe
Whitesnake/Winger/hairband du jour shaped my negative outlook as a whole toward the sign industry. Maybe the
reason I’m now hunched over a desk at 2:30 in the morning next to this GOD DAMNED 54-INCH PRINTER and not neck-deep
in morally-questionable relations with co-eds is all because of that shit. I don’t get to teach learning-resistant
20 year-olds about my understanding of Heart of Darkness. Instead, I must piss away my god damned life in
this shithole of a state, in this shithole of a business. I’m a fucking socialist, for chrissakes, and I own a
business. Somehow this is all hair metal’s fault.
So I’d say the former.
Bases loaded for Crosby!
1. I heart you.
2. How the hell did I miss not only a discussion, but an argument about Ulysses?!
3. how do you know about my calf?
I do not understand what
is happening.
whoa, he just threw some bats angrily when they took him
out for a pinch hitter…
for those of us restricted to gameday, what’s the injury
delay?
I wonder what’s harder,
the Rogers turf or Carlos Zambrano’s fist.
I think it’d be cool if Rod Barajas had a daughter and
named her Sajara.
Crosby, who was 1-11 before that triple, has a better
OPS than Nomar.
Really, Bailey? That kid
is going to be dead by the end of the month.
Cust line for Outman.
Okay, this guy needs to
be closing to Ziggy can be used in ground ball situations.
And if Bailey here keeps pitching like this he’ll soon
be the richest man in town.
Leave Wuertz in.
Vlad: Pectoral tear.
Scioscia:
People as ugly as League deserve to be hit hard. I can’t
believe the Angels haven’t traded for him.
The Rev’s latest:
]] >I have loathing in my heart right now for **. I despise
censorship.
{sigh}
I ain’t got no home. I’m just a-ramblin’ ’round.
Maicer Izturis is batting third and DHing tonight for
slegna.
Wow, that was kind of cool: the previous curt nod to
family having been deemed insufficient, I was summoned away from the TV for a spirited game of Piranha
Panic. I returned, and the A’s are up 8-5.
Scutaro just got a hit. The A’s are 0-2 in games I’ve attended. Apparently if I want team success I’m not allowed
to actually watch them play.
Victory! FK yeah!
Wait, the game’s over already? What am I supposed to do
now?
VICTORY CABBAGE!
Despite all my rage,
I’m still just fermented cabbage.
What happened on ** tonight? Sounds serious.
Also, what mikeA said. The whole point of FK was that we don’t have to
put up with aggressively stupid people, we don’t have to worry about retarded CGV rules, we don’t have to be
cheerleaders, and we can just be ourselves. If that involves graphing the number of comments per condiment bar,
great. If it means talking about player’s asses or wearing hot pants, that’s cool too.
Haren’s losing 1-0 to the Giants in the 7th. Poor
Danny.