One Adam Dunn and eight Endy Chavezes: The Grill 011910 ← FREE KRAUT!

One Adam Dunn and eight Endy Chavezes: The Grill 011910 105

19 Jan 2010  |  monkeyball  |The Grill

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  1. Jack Cust: still your TTO champeen
  2. Honorable Mention (second tier)
  3. I thought “good-hearted but not well-thought-out” referred to the decision to rely on Eric Chavez the last 3 years. (On-topic Yglesiasm: “I wonder if Google will threaten to stop operating in the United States once it turns out our government’s been up to snooping malfeasance.”)
  4. Legalize? Heck, make ’em mandatory for seniors, and you got your Death Panels taken care of!
  5. I can’t disagree with this: “Taxi Driver is perhaps the most overrated film in Hollywood history”
  6. Ah, geez. I guess maybe my disdain for Mad Men could just be disdain for the people who like it: “Draper is a man at a remove both from his own history and those of archetypes that shape his character, and as such is constitutionally belated.”
  7. Rajai signs for $1.35M
  8. Nice takedown by Calcaterra
you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come

105 thoughts on “One Adam Dunn and eight Endy Chavezes: The Grill 011910”

  1. monkeyball Jan 19,2010 11:56 am
    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  2. green star oakland Jan 19,2010 12:01 pm

    8. “shameless sockpuppetry”

    If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
  3. mikeA Jan 19,2010 12:36 pm

    Played in chess tournament over the weekend; this guy won and he did this victory dance.

    • monkeyball Jan 19,2010 12:44 pm || Up

      Once again, chess demonstrates its inherent superiority over the entertainment value, institutional norms, and manliness of the NFL.

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • green star oakland Jan 19,2010 1:20 pm || Up

      How did you do?

      If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
      • mikeA Jan 19,2010 1:23 pm || Up

        Very poorly. Worst I’ve done since I started playing tournaments a couple years ago.

        • green star oakland Jan 19,2010 1:54 pm || Up

          Ouch … any idea why?

          If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
          • mikeA Jan 19,2010 2:00 pm || Up

            Two horrible blunders, and that was that.

            • green star oakland Jan 19,2010 2:39 pm || Up

              I remember how much that sucks … my worst was spending about 30 minutes to analyze a moderately long combination and then carelessly playing the second move first.

              If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
  4. andeux Jan 19,2010 1:28 pm

    Via Yglesias, a comparison of the UK and US versions of Life on Mars. I think he exaggerates the deficiencies of the US casting somewhat – his point about the Sam/boss dynamic is a good one, but how can you not like Harvey Keitel?

    On the other hand, “without doubt, the stupidest thing I have ever seen happen on a scripted TV show” is an only slightly hyperbolic description of the ending of the US version. In the two episodes of the original version that I’ve seen, I really liked that they make it clear from the very beginning what’s going on back in the present day, rather than turning it into some lame (even before the clunker finale) sci-fi mystery subplot.

    TINSTAAFK
    • monkeyball Jan 19,2010 1:44 pm || Up

      I was just about to link to that.

      I, too, just watched the first two eps of the original. Very much enjoying it so far — and I’ve queued up the US version out of morbid curiosity.

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
      • nevermoor Jan 19,2010 7:30 pm || Up

        The UK version is better (and I’ve seen all of it plus the 80s follow-on). The main guy in the US version was pretty one-dimensional, which ruined it for me.

        "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
        • mk Mar 4,2010 11:52 am || Up

          I think Ashes to Ashes is better than Life on Mars in some respects. Though I wish Keeley Hawes would ditch the trembling/semi-panic/verge of tears schtick for some Jane Tennison steeliness.

          • batgirl Mar 4,2010 12:02 pm || Up

            I like Ashes to Ashes too! Is it still on? I caught the first season on BBC America but haven’t seen it since.

            • mk Mar 4,2010 12:11 pm || Up

              I think series 3 is due out sometime this year. I’m still working my way through series 2.

              As far as I can tell, neither series is available for download from iTunes, Amazon or anywhere else. You either have to buy the DVDs or access the shows from sites like this.

              • nevermoor Mar 4,2010 6:36 pm || Up

                I liked the first one more, but I’m not entirely sure why.

                "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • monkeyball Jan 19,2010 1:45 pm || Up

      Also: very good kreepy klown deployment in the second ep.

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  5. andeux Jan 19,2010 1:42 pm

    Kouzmanoff signs for $3.1 M

    TINSTAAFK
  6. mikeA Jan 19,2010 1:54 pm
    • andeux Jan 19,2010 1:56 pm || Up

      Wait, what? I thought he had signed with the Mets. But I guess it was never official.

      TINSTAAFK
      • mikeA Jan 19,2010 1:59 pm || Up

        Yes, he would have made more sense for a team that needs a catcher.

    • lenscrafters Jan 19,2010 1:59 pm || Up

      Hehe. The initial MCC reaction is amusing to say the least.

      • andeux Jan 19,2010 2:02 pm || Up

        You’d think they’d be happy to get their cleanup hitter back…

        TINSTAAFK
    • monkeyball Jan 19,2010 2:50 pm || Up

      What a strange thing to do.

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  7. mikeA Jan 19,2010 2:07 pm
    • nevermoor Jan 19,2010 7:33 pm || Up

      Agreed. I vote 5/40

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  8. andeux Jan 19,2010 2:54 pm

    Just saw the “Calcaterrorism” tag. Nice.

    TINSTAAFK
  9. monkeyball Jan 19,2010 2:58 pm

    Shouldn’t the Slegna have signed the second guy here?

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  10. monkeyball Jan 19,2010 3:13 pm

    I’m sorta with Calcaterra — both of these numbers seem low, the Giants’ explicably, Tim’s inexplicably.

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • green star oakland Jan 19,2010 3:20 pm || Up

      And the difference is more or less what they’ve just given Molina.

      If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
    • andeux Jan 19,2010 3:23 pm || Up

      I don’t know. I think the rule of thumb is that players in the first year of arb get about 40% of what they would get on the free market. (That’s not an official rule, but it’s based on empirical results.) Fangraphs has Lincecum worth around $35 M each of the last two years. I think Sabathia is the highest paid pitcher at $23 M/year. 40% of those figures is $9 M – $14 M. So the filings seem to be in the right range. They’ll probably settle for something a little higher than the halfway point.

      TINSTAAFK
  11. andeux Jan 19,2010 3:16 pm

    Holy crap.

    TINSTAAFK
    • monkeyball Jan 19,2010 3:23 pm || Up

      ?

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
      • andeux Jan 19,2010 3:24 pm || Up

        The thunder here a few minutes ago.

        TINSTAAFK
        • monkeyball Jan 19,2010 3:26 pm || Up

          Ah. Yeah, we had some impressive booms last night. (Punchline in 3 … 2 … 1 …)

          you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
          • green star oakland Jan 19,2010 3:41 pm || Up

            TWSS?

            If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
            • monkeyball Jan 19,2010 3:53 pm || Up

              I also would have accepted “Christ, what an asshole”

              you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
              • green star oakland Jan 19,2010 4:32 pm || Up

                Or “I played nose flute for the Impressive Booms in college”?

                If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
  12. monkeyball Jan 19,2010 3:54 pm
    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 19,2010 4:04 pm || Up

      I liked Colbert’s observation last night, counterpointed with photos of young Kennedys and Romney, that Massachusettes doesn’t have a Democratic tradition, it has a Handsomecrat tradition. Ergo Coakley is doomed (of course, anyone who tells Masshole voters that Curt Schilling is a Yankees fan deserves electoral defeat).

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • monkeyball Jan 19,2010 4:27 pm || Up

        “Ergo Coakley” sounds like a rejected Pynchon character.

        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
        • JediLeroy Jan 20,2010 1:41 am || Up

          I played dual melodica for Rejected Pynchon Character

          az di bobe volt gehat beytsim volt zi geven mayn zeyde
        • sslinger Jan 20,2010 6:41 pm || Up

          Anyone else read Chronic City yet? I’m about half-way through, and there are some great (Pynchonesque?) names – Chase Insteadman (Pierce Inverarity?), Oona Laslow, Richard Abneg, Perkus Tooth. All in all a pretty wacky fun read so far.

          • Leopold Bloom Jan 20,2010 6:44 pm || Up

            I knew an Oona in NorBay. She was purty.

          • mk Jan 20,2010 7:00 pm || Up

            If you’ve never read this, do. It rules: http://www.harpers.org/archive/2007/02/0081387

            I’m 90 pages into Against the Day. By page five, there was a dog reading Henry James while sprawled on the deck of something called a “hydrogen skyship”. At least I knew what I was in for.

            Some good stuff, though. Such as:

            “… and there’s still this huge mountain of wealth unspent, piling up higher every day, and dear oh dear, whatever’s a businessman to do with it, you see.”

            “Hell, send it on to me,” Ray Ipsow put in. “Or even to somebody who really needs it, for there’s sure enough of those.”

            “That’s not the way it works,” said Scarsdale Vibe.

            “So we always hear the plutocracy complaining.”

            “Out of a belief, surely fathomable, that merely to need a sum is not to deserve it.”

            “Except that in these times, ‘need’ arises directly from criminal acts of the rich, so it ‘deserves’ whatever amount of money will atone for it. Fathomable enough for you?”

            “You are a socialist, sir.”

            • sslinger Jan 20,2010 8:12 pm || Up

              Thanks for the article, very interesting. I have to confess I’ve only read V & Crying of Lot 49, and both of those a long time ago. I’ll have to tackle another of his sometime.

              • Leopold Bloom Jan 20,2010 8:19 pm || Up

                If you got any experience at all wit NorCal, Vineland’s fun.

                • andeux Jan 21,2010 8:06 am || Up

                  “Inherent Vice” is similarly fun, though set further south. Haven’t come across “Chronic City” but I like Lethem.

                  TINSTAAFK
            • monkeyball Jan 20,2010 9:08 pm || Up

              I still haven’t made it through AtD. Got about halfway and just bogged down.

              you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
              • mk Jan 21,2010 5:34 am || Up

                I can already tell I’m going to be consistently amused, occasionally interested, never absorbed. I don’t need every book to be a Beatles song, mind you, but he is definitely not interested in giving you anything to hook into, and a thousand pages of arms length irony can wear a person down. But, goddamn fuck it all, I’m finishing it. Sometime between later this morning and, I don’t know, 2070, I’m going to be worm food. That’s a blip, and I think it’s only logical to spend as much of that time as possible reading difficult novels and sleeping with doe eyed Starbucks barista girls. OK, probably I will just do the reading. Still.

                • monkeyball Jan 21,2010 7:19 am || Up

                  In former Soviet Union, doe eyed Starbucks barista girls sleep with *you*

                  you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
                • Leopold Bloom Jan 21,2010 8:48 am || Up

                  :books ticket to former Soviet Union:

                • monkeyball Jan 21,2010 9:33 am || Up

                  In doe eyed Starbucks barista girls, former Soviet Union books ticket to *you*

                  you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
                • Leopold Bloom Jan 21,2010 1:17 pm || Up

                  sometimes this Communism thing works out pretty well.

          • mk Jan 23,2010 8:53 pm || Up

            Lethem discusses Chronic City at length here (might be a good read after you’re done).

            Film in general is very nourishing to my writing. The form is such a close narrative cousin to the novel in the twentieth century, and I write in a dialogue with film very often. Hitchcock is particularly influential, just in the way he structures narrative and the way that, under his consciousness of the charged quality of certain settings and certain objects, parts of the world take on this metaphysical quality.

            […]

            I have a tremendous interest in the impossible artworks. And you have Obstinate Dust in this book, but also the fjord, Noteless’s sculptures. And in Fortress of Solitude Abraham’s film is another one of these. And I really am drawn to endlessness and unapproachability in art in general. I guess I haven’t really committed anything that risks making that kind of total statement, but I like to watch thirteen-hour movies and read books that don’t have endings and so on.

    • monkeyball Jan 19,2010 8:17 pm || Up

      And following along the same line of attack: fuck Evan Bayh in the eyehole

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
      • Leopold Bloom Jan 20,2010 5:38 am || Up

        I’m assuming none of you have ever lived in Indiana.

        The mere fact that Indiana has a Democratic Senator is amazing. I know he’s essentially a Republican in many ways, but the whole state is like 80% Republican. It’s a horrible, horrible place. That’s why all these assholes from Indiana come here and think it’s fucking paradise.

        IOW, Bayh’s trying to make sure he gets re-elected.

        • monkeyball Jan 20,2010 7:11 am || Up

          OK, fuck Indiana in the eyehole

          you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
          • Leopold Bloom Jan 20,2010 9:52 am || Up

            Now you’re speaking my language.

            I left when I realized we could leave.

  13. monkeyball Jan 19,2010 3:57 pm

    I think this story seems to be missing the most obvious and banal explanation for the WaPo salons: Weymouth probably wanted to be able to use the hosting at her home for tax write-off purposes.

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  14. mjdittmer Jan 19,2010 4:09 pm

    Hey, regarding the recruitment of new krauthors … are there any hoops they need to jump through aside from clicking “Register” on this site–a password will be e-mailed to them and then they’re up and running?

    • nevermoor Jan 19,2010 7:36 pm || Up

      They need to be approved (I forward the link to mb, who does it as long as they meet his criteria – I think it’s basically not-an-AN-douche)

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
      • Leopold Bloom Jan 20,2010 5:38 am || Up

        how’d I get on here again?

        • green star oakland Jan 20,2010 10:04 am || Up

          You may be a douche, but you’re our douche.

          If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
          • Leopold Bloom Jan 20,2010 3:16 pm || Up

            Yay!

            I love signs I love signs I love signs

            (help)

        • nevermoor Jan 20,2010 6:50 pm || Up

          Dunno… you were a pre-fk.com member so you were automatically approved.

          Mistakes were made, the people responsible have been sacked.

          "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
          • Leopold Bloom Jan 20,2010 8:08 pm || Up

            So in essence, I was a legacy…

            …
            ..
            .

            Fuck, I’m W.

            • monkeyball Jan 20,2010 9:09 pm || Up

              Heckuva job, Bloomy.

              you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
              • Leopold Bloom Jan 21,2010 8:48 am || Up

                Look st you now, you old son of a bitch: you got the run of this place.

  15. mjdittmer Jan 19,2010 4:23 pm

    Matt Taibbi’s hit-list
    1. Obama
    2. David Brooks
    3. Leopold Bloom

  16. mjdittmer Jan 19,2010 4:27 pm

    Caption contest?

    My entry: Michael Jackson returns from the dead and gets ready to meet Bill Clinton

    • mjdittmer Jan 19,2010 4:29 pm || Up

      Is it possible to image-source photos from a Chronicle slide show? Click here to see the photo I was talking about–#3 in the slideshow

      • monkeyball Jan 19,2010 4:31 pm || Up

        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
      • green star oakland Jan 19,2010 4:35 pm || Up

        Yes.

        If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
    • monkeyball Jan 19,2010 4:35 pm || Up

      Clint Eastwood (in background) and the late Henry Gibson (far right) perform a “pincer move” on Julian Lennon, Nick Lowe, and Lou Reed.

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • oblique Jan 19,2010 5:44 pm || Up

      “Christ, what an asshole.”

  17. monkeyball Jan 19,2010 4:29 pm

    Wasn’t Compact Muon Solenoid in some shitty ’80s sitcom?

    (This seems interesting.)

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  18. monkeyball Jan 19,2010 5:17 pm

    Apropos of nothing whatsoever …

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  19. monkeyball Jan 19,2010 5:19 pm

    Polls closed. Guesses on final tally?

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • nevermoor Jan 19,2010 7:39 pm || Up

      Huh?

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
      • monkeyball Jan 19,2010 8:09 pm || Up

        Ergo Coakley and the Case of the Neglected Electorate

        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
        • nevermoor Jan 19,2010 9:06 pm || Up

          Ergo Coakley and the attack on theories of tribalism.

          "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • salb918 Jan 19,2010 8:46 pm || Up

      Looks like it’s Brown.

      • oblique Jan 19,2010 9:24 pm || Up

        At Cornell, when we played Brown, we’d chant: What’s the color of shit? BROWN!

        • monkeyball Jan 20,2010 12:23 am || Up

          you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  20. FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 20,2010 12:52 pm

    I’ve just started reading James M. Cain’s The Postman Always Rings Twice, whose epic first line I’ve adopted as my FK sig o’ the week. I don’t know if this part made the films, which I’ve never seen, but I was amused to read the Bloomian anecdote in the second chapter, in which the protagonist uses a knowledgable discourse on what types of signs are effective with customers as a pretext to get the tavern owner out of town, so that our hero might sleep with his wife.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • Leopold Bloom Jan 20,2010 3:17 pm || Up

      That book’s giving away trade secrets.

      I call shenanigans.

    • whiteshoes40 Jan 20,2010 6:02 pm || Up

      I’ll be reading that book in a couple months, for one of my classes. And now I will be reminded of FK when I do so.

      [Side note: I like my life. I get paid to read books.]

      • Leopold Bloom Jan 20,2010 6:07 pm || Up

        I used to get paid to read books. Now I make signs.

        • whiteshoes40 Jan 20,2010 6:18 pm || Up

          I’m sorry for your loss.

        • nevermoor Jan 20,2010 6:51 pm || Up

          I get paid to read bullshit (and, this week, yell at CDCR types). So that’s nice.

          "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
          • monkeyball Jan 20,2010 9:10 pm || Up

            I get paid to write bullshit. Much more fun than reading it.

            you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  21. Leopold Bloom Jan 22,2010 5:57 am

    Good news, mb: you’re number 14.

    • nevermoor Jan 22,2010 10:42 am || Up

      God but people are stupid.

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • batgirl Jan 22,2010 10:47 am || Up

      soccer?!

      • green star oakland Jan 22,2010 10:54 am || Up

        RockYou (where the passwords were stolen from) is global.

        If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
        • Leopold Bloom Jan 22,2010 12:14 pm || Up

          The real question is why this posted here…I could’ve sworn I posted it in at least yesterday’s Grill…

        • batgirl Jan 22,2010 12:53 pm || Up

          ahhh now that makes a bit more sense.

          • batgirl Jan 22,2010 12:56 pm || Up

            No, wait, that still doesn’t make sense. Wouldn’t the password be football or futbol or whatever then?

            • green star oakland Jan 22,2010 1:02 pm || Up

              “Soccer” is used in the rest of the English-speaking world too.

              If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
              • batgirl Jan 22,2010 1:16 pm || Up

                Really? OK then, but why do they always call it football in British movies? Is that just a British thing?

                • monkeyball Jan 22,2010 1:36 pm || Up

                  It’s like all phone numbers beginning with 555-.

                  you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
                • green star oakland Jan 22,2010 1:37 pm || Up

                  Soccer was originally the English name, a bizarre abbreviation of association football to distinguish it from rugby football, which in turn was named after Rugby school, located in the town of Rugby.

                  If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
                • batgirl Jan 22,2010 1:43 pm || Up

                  Interesting.

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