The Lounge where we hold hands and sing ← FREE KRAUT!

The Lounge where we hold hands and sing 406

Another day. Another Lounge.

406 thoughts on “The Lounge where we hold hands and sing

  1. Jennifer Jennifer Dec 14,2014 11:48 am

    Fine. I’ll do it.

  2. Jennifer Jennifer Dec 14,2014 11:55 am

    What the hell was that?

  3. Jennifer Jennifer Dec 14,2014 12:31 pm

    That kid is holding on to the ball better than the Chiefs TE.

  4. andeux andeux Dec 14,2014 12:33 pm

    Channel 5 is stuck with this turkey, but channel 2 can feel free to switch from Johnny Football getting his ass kicked to the excellent GB @ BUF game any time.

    TINSTAAFK
    • andeux andeux Dec 14,2014 12:44 pm || Up

      For fk’s sake, they have a 23 pt lead and the ball with 3 minutes left and someone just called time out. Why is this still being shown anywhere outside Ohio?

      TINSTAAFK
    • batgirl batgirl Dec 15,2014 12:19 pm || Up

      Can you guys do me a solid and beat the Pats? KTHXBAI

  5. Bed Bed Dec 14,2014 1:16 pm

    The State of Missouri 83

    Oakland Raiders 6

    But seriously, folks...
  6. Bed Bed Dec 14,2014 1:23 pm

    Any time I see this ref crew I know to expect a lot of penalties and long meetings were nothing is called…really bad crew.

    But seriously, folks...
  7. Bed Bed Dec 14,2014 1:25 pm

    The state of Missouri 83

    Oakland Raiders 13

    Much, much better.

    But seriously, folks...
  8. Bed Bed Dec 14,2014 1:26 pm

    Heck of a win for the Bills…that team plays hard.

    But seriously, folks...
    • andeux andeux Dec 14,2014 1:28 pm || Up

      Great defense. Great special teams. If only the offense were merely adequate … sigh.
      Their best game of the year, so I guess I should just enjoy it.

      TINSTAAFK
      • Bed Bed Dec 14,2014 1:31 pm || Up

        Your team is a quarterback away from being really good. With the new ownership we’ll see how they go about their business in the off-season.

        But seriously, folks...
        • nevermoor nevermoor Dec 15,2014 12:20 am || Up

          Want Kaepernick?

          "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  9. Bed Bed Dec 14,2014 1:26 pm

    SeaBass really sucks at onside kicks.

    But seriously, folks...
  10. Bed Bed Dec 14,2014 1:29 pm

    Two more weeks of this crap…and then slumber.

    But seriously, folks...
    • Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Dec 14,2014 1:34 pm || Up

      You rooting for wins or losses?

      • Bed Bed Dec 14,2014 1:36 pm || Up

        I’m rooting for it to be over…a win over Denver would be fun. The main thing is I need this house to be cleaned. There must be major changes from top to bottom.

        But seriously, folks...
  11. Bed Bed Dec 14,2014 1:33 pm

    The “Thursday Night Football” commercials for games being played on Saturday made me giggle.

    But seriously, folks...
  12. Jennifer Jennifer Dec 14,2014 1:36 pm

    I hate the Seahawks. No real reason.

    • Bed Bed Dec 14,2014 1:38 pm || Up

      I think their uniforms are brutal. They’re really good at cheating on defense though so I’ll give them that.

      But seriously, folks...
      • Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Dec 14,2014 1:53 pm || Up

        The day before Thanksgiving I saw a guy walking around downtown SF in a Seawahks jersey with the number 7 and the name “Kap.” I was very confused.

        • Bed Bed Dec 14,2014 1:55 pm || Up

          He probably had an Elway jersey in silver and black too.

          But seriously, folks...
          • doctorK doctorK Dec 14,2014 7:05 pm || Up

            If I were to actually see such a thing, I would probably commit an act of extreme violence right there on the spot.

    • Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Dec 14,2014 1:39 pm || Up

      Their fans seem awfully cultish and obsessive. They don’t seem like the same relatively chill people who root for the Mariners and rooted for the Sonics.

      • Bed Bed Dec 14,2014 1:42 pm || Up

        I wonder if that’s because it’s only 8 home games a year…it’s hard to get that crazy for 41 or 81 home games.

        But seriously, folks...
      • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 14,2014 1:44 pm || Up

        Pete Carroll seems like a douche nozzle, too. My Seattle hatred began around the time Trent Dilfer was QB.

        • Bed Bed Dec 14,2014 1:48 pm || Up

          I thought only fans of teams Dilfer was the quarterback of hated him.

          But seriously, folks...
          • Future Ed Future Ed Dec 14,2014 5:15 pm || Up

            I was never a fan of Difford without tilbrook

            I have $5. No I don\'t.
        • MikeV MikeV Dec 14,2014 1:56 pm || Up

          He’s actually an amazingly cool guy. He just coaches evil teams.

          And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

          Thanks, and go As.

          • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 14,2014 1:57 pm || Up

            What, are you two BFFs? You get facials and braid each other’s hair?

            • MikeV MikeV Dec 14,2014 1:59 pm || Up

              Wouldn’t you like to know

              And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

              Thanks, and go As.

                • MikeV MikeV Dec 14,2014 2:06 pm || Up

                  liar.

                  And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

                  Thanks, and go As.

                • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 14,2014 2:11 pm || Up

                  Babe, you don’t even have hair.

                • AV AV Dec 14,2014 2:19 pm || Up

                  here’s a story
                  of two men self braiding
                  and one of them didn’t have haa-air of his own.

                  *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
                • Kay Temple Kirk Kay Temple Kirk Dec 15,2014 9:56 am || Up

                  until one day, he pulled his drawers down… when they were all alone…

                  (verse 3)
                  (verse 4)
                  (profit)

                  that’s the waaaaaay, we became the braided pubic hair bunch…

                  (horn outro)

                  \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
                • Bed Bed Dec 14,2014 2:06 pm || Up

                  Never bring a goat to a yes/no fight.

                  But seriously, folks...
                • Kay Temple Kirk Kay Temple Kirk Dec 15,2014 9:56 am || Up

                  Not just meta, but surreal meta…

                  \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
                • Bed Bed Dec 15,2014 2:31 pm || Up

                  Surreal meta is my corner.

                  But seriously, folks...
                • Kay Temple Kirk Kay Temple Kirk Dec 15,2014 10:36 pm || Up

                  I just pee in it.

                  \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
          • Bed Bed Dec 14,2014 1:58 pm || Up

            I like Pete Carroll. I like how he coaches and I like the fact he realizes he coaches football and isn’t some World War II general.

            But seriously, folks...
            • Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Dec 14,2014 2:00 pm || Up

              Exactly. And I think we’d all like to know what Harbaugh’s deal is.

          • Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Dec 14,2014 1:58 pm || Up

            Yeah, I have to say, he’s the only professional or college football coach I’ve ever looked at and thought “this seems like a fairly normal, decent guy.”

            • MikeV MikeV Dec 14,2014 2:01 pm || Up

              plus he’s a bay area guy and there is a ton of stories about him doing stuff like bringing sick kids in to be with the team for a day etc

              And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

              Thanks, and go As.

            • FreeSeatUpgrade FreeSeatUpgrade Dec 14,2014 2:50 pm || Up
              "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
              • MikeV MikeV Dec 14,2014 2:56 pm || Up

                He’s a bay area hippie. It makes sense that he’d question govt.

                And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

                Thanks, and go As.

                • FreeSeatUpgrade FreeSeatUpgrade Dec 14,2014 5:29 pm || Up

                  There is a difference between skepticism and lunacy.

                  "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
              • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 14,2014 3:01 pm || Up

                I don’t click links. I don’t need evidence.

                • Bed Bed Dec 14,2014 3:04 pm || Up

                  I play the links…I eat links…I don’t click the links.

                  But seriously, folks...
              • Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Dec 14,2014 5:32 pm || Up

                Wait, 9/11 truthers think the Pentagon wasn’t hit by a plane? What the hell do they think happened?

                • FreeSeatUpgrade FreeSeatUpgrade Dec 14,2014 5:57 pm || Up

                  I believe their theory is that it was a missile which the US fired on itself.

                  "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
                • AV AV Dec 14,2014 6:00 pm || Up

                  WHERE ARE THE WING HOLES??

                  *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
                • batgirl batgirl Dec 15,2014 12:24 pm || Up

                  I guess my grandpa will be pleased to know that his niece and her entire family are now alive and living on some sort of Lost-type island, hidden away by the US government.

              • ptbnl Dec 14,2014 6:09 pm || Up

                Riki Ellison, the former NFL linebacker who now runs the Missile Defense Advocacy Alliance

                sigh

                If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
      • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 14,2014 1:46 pm || Up

        Their fans are way more annoying than Raider fans.

        • Bed Bed Dec 14,2014 1:50 pm || Up

          Raiders fans have been put through a lot and they still do a pretty good job of showing up.

          But seriously, folks...
  13. Bed Bed Dec 14,2014 1:53 pm

    Anytime you drink low fat egg nog the terrorists win.

    But seriously, folks...
  14. Bed Bed Dec 14,2014 2:01 pm

    Bed takes pictures of lots

    But seriously, folks...
    • Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Dec 14,2014 2:03 pm || Up

      First ones here!

      • Bed Bed Dec 14,2014 2:13 pm || Up

        Looks like the crowd for an A’s vs Mariners game in May.

        But seriously, folks...
      • batgirl batgirl Dec 15,2014 12:25 pm || Up

        Park’s closed. Moose outside should have told you.

    • elcroata elcroata Dec 14,2014 9:25 pm || Up

      I love you

      All I can say about stats is… SCOTT BROSIUS!!
      • Bed Bed Dec 15,2014 2:36 pm || Up

        It made me giggle when I posted it…I’m glad you liked it.

        But seriously, folks...
  15. Bed Bed Dec 14,2014 2:02 pm

    Bed takes pictures of lots

    But seriously, folks...
  16. Bed Bed Dec 14,2014 2:05 pm

    Hmm…not sure why that posted twice. I also realize this joke is only funny to me but hey my football team is 2-12 so I need to numb the pain.

    But seriously, folks...
  17. Jennifer Jennifer Dec 14,2014 2:09 pm

    Pete Carroll chews gum like a cow eats grass.

    • Bed Bed Dec 14,2014 2:12 pm || Up

      Jennifer: She hates onions, Pete Carroll, and kidney stones.

      But seriously, folks...
      • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 14,2014 2:13 pm || Up

        Damn right.

      • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 14,2014 2:15 pm || Up

        All three are ugly to look at and taste like shit.

        • Bed Bed Dec 14,2014 2:19 pm || Up

          That describes my first three wives.

          But seriously, folks...
          • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 14,2014 3:01 pm || Up

            That Papa John’s creeper too.

            • Bed Bed Dec 14,2014 4:58 pm || Up

              I got a horrible case of food poisoning from Papa Johns once.

              But seriously, folks...
    • AV AV Dec 14,2014 5:47 pm || Up

      swallows it, brings it up, ruminates, swallows, brings it up, ruminates, and twice again?

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  18. Bed Bed Dec 14,2014 2:13 pm

    Does anyone actually work 9 to 5?

    But seriously, folks...
    • Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Dec 14,2014 2:15 pm || Up

      Many, many government workers

      • MikeV MikeV Dec 14,2014 2:26 pm || Up

        7-4:30

        And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

        Thanks, and go As.

      • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 14,2014 2:37 pm || Up

        My mom’s a banker and she works 8-5.

    • Bed Bed Dec 14,2014 2:15 pm || Up

      Suddenly I’m thinking about motor boating.

      But seriously, folks...
      • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 14,2014 2:16 pm || Up

        You and Mike.

      • Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Dec 14,2014 2:17 pm || Up

        I was thinking about Dabney Coleman’s mustache.

        • Bed Bed Dec 14,2014 2:42 pm || Up

          Suddenly, I’m thinking about riding Dabney Coleman’s mustache.

          But seriously, folks...
          • elcroata elcroata Dec 14,2014 9:27 pm || Up

            Funny thing I just recently realized. If you have thick mustache, you can’t snorkel or dive well, because water will keep sneaking under your mask.

            All I can say about stats is… SCOTT BROSIUS!!
            • AV AV Dec 15,2014 8:59 am || Up

              i shaved the mustache for swimming. just holds extra water and drips it over your mouth while you’re trying to get a breath.

              also found out that with a jaw wired, breast is surprisingly the most difficult stroke (didn’t attempt butterfly). since you breathe forward, water drops in sheets evenly down your face, teeth even, and you can’t open your mouth enough to disrupt the sheet and get air till the water’s out of the way. it’s basically waterboarding yourself with every stroke.

              *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
        • batgirl batgirl Dec 15,2014 12:26 pm || Up

          Sexist egotistical lying hypocriitcal bigot.

          • MikeV MikeV Dec 15,2014 12:32 pm || Up

            I’m not a bigot!

            or really very egotistical!

            And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

            Thanks, and go As.

    • Kay Temple Kirk Kay Temple Kirk Dec 15,2014 9:57 am || Up

      I do, on Fridays.

      \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
  19. MikeV MikeV Dec 14,2014 2:49 pm

    Best half of football SF have played in weeks.

    And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

    Thanks, and go As.

  20. MikeV MikeV Dec 14,2014 3:35 pm

    I just got a text from the NIners asking if I could play LB or RB.

    And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

    Thanks, and go As.

    • dmoas Dec 14,2014 3:56 pm || Up

      I just got one reminding me that the fix is on.

      • MikeV MikeV Dec 14,2014 4:10 pm || Up

        I don’t understand how hitting a guy in the chest is a penalty. That pretty much swayed the game.

        And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

        Thanks, and go As.

        • dmoas Dec 14,2014 4:12 pm || Up

          Or blocking from behind and hurting that player isn’t.

        • Soaker Soaker Dec 14,2014 4:22 pm || Up

          Although the roughing call was absurd, the Niners offense wasn’t going to break through to double digits anyway.

          • MikeV MikeV Dec 14,2014 4:31 pm || Up

            I didn’t expect them to win anyway, but making it a 2 possession game massively changed things.

            And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

            Thanks, and go As.

            • dmoas Dec 14,2014 5:13 pm || Up

              Such an easy fix. Any foul that’s called or not call that would result in a 15 yard penalty or more should be reviewable/assessed on review. Those are the ones that have the most impact on the game.

              • MikeV MikeV Dec 14,2014 5:15 pm || Up

                get ready for 4 hour games.

                And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

                Thanks, and go As.

                • dmoas Dec 14,2014 5:19 pm || Up

                  Not booth reviewed, would need to be a coaches challenge and be obvious. We’re not talking 10 yard holding calls or flips, etc. here, we’re talking Personal Foul shit.

        • Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Dec 14,2014 4:39 pm || Up

          Serious question: How do you all continue following a sport with such arbitrary application of its rules? It seems like there isn’t a single close game where the officiating isn’t a major talking point after the fact.

          • MikeV MikeV Dec 14,2014 4:42 pm || Up

            I follow it a lot less closely than I used to.

            And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

            Thanks, and go As.

          • Soaker Soaker Dec 14,2014 4:45 pm || Up

            Is there any team sport where application of the rules isn’t “arbitrary”? In baseball it revolves around the strike zone; in most other sports, penalty or foul calls. It’s part of the package if you follow sports.

            • Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Dec 14,2014 4:50 pm || Up

              Yes, but it seems more impactful in the NFL. More so now because the attempts to de-violence the game. In baseball and basketball you don’t have good plays called back because someone did an otherwise legal thing with excessive force. Also, in those sports the bad officiating is usually more of a death by a thousand cuts thing, rather than one call that changes everything.

            • elcroata elcroata Dec 14,2014 9:29 pm || Up

              Skiing

              All I can say about stats is… SCOTT BROSIUS!!
          • Bed Bed Dec 14,2014 4:55 pm || Up

            I find football to be the most interesting and exciting sport. The drama, the strategy, and yes…the violence make it something I love.

            But seriously, folks...
            • Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Dec 14,2014 4:58 pm || Up

              I get all of that. I guess I just think there are too many damn rules. The frequency with which seemingly good plays are called back because of something I can’t see on TV or because someone tried a little too hard would drive me crazy.

              • Bed Bed Dec 14,2014 5:00 pm || Up

                I guess being a Raiders fan I’m just used to games with a lot of head scratching penalties being called.

                But seriously, folks...
                • elcroata elcroata Dec 14,2014 11:52 pm || Up

                  How much is a penalty for head scratching?

                  All I can say about stats is… SCOTT BROSIUS!!
                • Kay Temple Kirk Kay Temple Kirk Dec 15,2014 9:59 am || Up

                  five yards and repeat the down.

                  \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
              • mother pucker Dec 15,2014 12:01 am || Up

                I will grant you that there are definite inconsistencies with regards to defensive holding and pass interference, but by and large, the NFL officiating seems relatively consistent to the outside eye.

                Just using hockey as an example, certain refs absolutely have their own distinct styles with regards to how tight they will officiate a game. Very reminiscent to a each ump having their own strike zone. I do not really read up on NFL officiating to know if that is an issue within football as well.

                And while I do not follow basketball as closely as any of the three other major sports, that to me seems to be the sport where the officiating is the most suspect.

                • Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Dec 15,2014 10:06 am || Up

                  Yeah, arbitrary was the wrong word. NBA reffing can be quite arbitrary, it’s just that it usually evens out over so many plays each game (with a few notable exceptions).

                  I think my (admittedly uninformed) beef with NFL reffing is that it’s so front and center to the experience. Arguing about officiating decisions seems like too big a part of the sport. When you have to have a retired referee miked up in the studio so that you can go to him when the inevitable game-changing decision happens, the sport has a problem in my eyes.

    • elcroata elcroata Dec 14,2014 9:28 pm || Up

      So, only left or right? Don’t they realize you have the range to be centerback?

      All I can say about stats is… SCOTT BROSIUS!!
      • MikeV MikeV Dec 14,2014 10:50 pm || Up

        pfffft.

        I try to not even be on the defensive half of the pitch.

        And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

        Thanks, and go As.

  21. Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Dec 14,2014 5:31 pm

    Warriors heading to OT to try to extend their streak to 16 in a building called the Smoothie King Center.

    • AV AV Dec 14,2014 5:44 pm || Up

      funny. that’s what i’d been calling the toilet during my liquid diet.

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Dec 14,2014 5:47 pm || Up

      Crazy at it sounds, this may be the most impressive game of the streak. Second game of a back to back on the road, down eight in the fourth quarter, you’re supposed to lose.

      • Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Dec 14,2014 5:52 pm || Up

        Scary combination of talent and heart on this team.

  22. AV AV Dec 14,2014 5:40 pm

    congrats diego “the prince” milito for bringing the team who signed him back to the top after 13 years without a title. though i’m not sure why he couldn’t have stayed at inter one more year before coming back to racing…

    the rest of racing can go fuck itself with the only fanbase in argentina who’s adopted the puto chant.

    *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • Future Ed Future Ed Dec 14,2014 5:43 pm || Up

      milito? I know someone who is intrigued…

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
      • elcroata elcroata Dec 14,2014 9:30 pm || Up

        teito?

        All I can say about stats is… SCOTT BROSIUS!!
        • AV AV Dec 15,2014 9:17 am || Up

          oooooh. i didn’t get who ed was talking about last night.

          *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  23. Bed Bed Dec 14,2014 6:01 pm

    Never bring a goat to a sex club…unless…well, you know.

    But seriously, folks...
    • Kay Temple Kirk Kay Temple Kirk Dec 15,2014 10:01 am || Up

      Goats of the four-legged and sycophantic varieties are not developed enough to be capable of informed consent, therefore neither would be allowed in any respectable sex club.

      \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
  24. Bed Bed Dec 14,2014 6:03 pm

    Little known fact…the song Sara Smile is about France’s war in Vietnam.

    But seriously, folks...
  25. Bed Bed Dec 14,2014 6:03 pm

    That third 12 pack of Coke may have been a mistake.

    But seriously, folks...
  26. Jennifer Jennifer Dec 14,2014 6:08 pm

    Should I shave my legs for tomorrow?

    • ptbnl Dec 14,2014 6:13 pm || Up

      Just one of them.

      If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
      • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 14,2014 6:17 pm || Up

        OMG. That’s such a wonderful idea.

        • Kay Temple Kirk Kay Temple Kirk Dec 15,2014 10:02 am || Up

          shave most of your legs, but leave a furry backseam, like you’re wearing trendy Japanese stockings.

          \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
    • Soaker Soaker Dec 14,2014 6:38 pm || Up

      What type of surgery are you having? The least invasive procedure appears to be zapping the stone with shock waves and breaking it into little pieces which can be passed, but there are also methods which involve going in there with a tool and grabbing the thing.

      • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 14,2014 6:45 pm || Up

        They are going in to get it, with possible stent placement.

      • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 14,2014 6:52 pm || Up

        I had clinical in urology and I’ve seen a few of these procedures/stents. I’m terrified.

        • Soaker Soaker Dec 14,2014 7:00 pm || Up

          It’s no fun moving around with something stuck in your pee pipe. Good luck, but based on my experience with a related issue you’ll make ample use of your prescription painkillers over the next few days.

          • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 14,2014 7:03 pm || Up

            The pain pills haven’t really been helping so far. I’ve had severe nausea too.

          • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 14,2014 7:08 pm || Up

            They told me I’m supposed to take the stent out myself later. Um… no.

            • Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Dec 14,2014 7:31 pm || Up

              Yikes. That definitely sounds like a job for a nurse.

  27. Bed Bed Dec 14,2014 6:28 pm

    The cheat code to become invincible in this lounge is…A, X, Y, RB, UP, LEFT, DOWN, B

    But seriously, folks...
    • Kay Temple Kirk Kay Temple Kirk Dec 15,2014 10:03 am || Up

      \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
      • Kay Temple Kirk Kay Temple Kirk Dec 15,2014 10:03 am || Up

        Actually, Bed, that’s the cheat code to become invisible.

        \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
  28. Bed Bed Dec 14,2014 7:21 pm

    Jennifer…good luck with your procedure. I hope you feel better soon…B

    But seriously, folks...
  29. Jennifer Jennifer Dec 15,2014 10:56 am

    I’m alive. Lots of pain. Required a stent

    • AV AV Dec 15,2014 11:10 am || Up

      am ouching in sympathy. get well!

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 15,2014 4:27 pm || Up

        I posted a photo of the stone on the book of faces.

        • AV AV Dec 15,2014 4:40 pm || Up

          and drink more water!

          *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
          • Kay Temple Kirk Kay Temple Kirk Dec 15,2014 10:37 pm || Up

            At least it only got hit by a thrown shell. If that bullet had actually been fired from a gun, the moon would be a goner for sure!

            \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
    • elcroata elcroata Dec 15,2014 11:58 am || Up

      Hang tough! Speedy recovery.

      All I can say about stats is… SCOTT BROSIUS!!
    • MikeV MikeV Dec 15,2014 12:21 pm || Up

      do you still have to remove it yourself

      And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

      Thanks, and go As.

    • ptbnl Dec 15,2014 1:28 pm || Up

      And what was the outcome on the legs?

      If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
      • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 15,2014 2:08 pm || Up

        I shaved both. Thank goodness too. I had to wear TED hose and putting them on against the grain of leg hair is torture.

    • FreeSeatUpgrade FreeSeatUpgrade Dec 15,2014 1:59 pm || Up

      Ouch. Heal fast Jennifer.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • grover Dec 15,2014 7:09 pm || Up

      Alive approved.

      Get well soon.

  30. Bed Bed Dec 15,2014 2:41 pm

    I’m checking in primarily to see how Jennifer is doing…it looks like it went well.

    But seriously, folks...
    • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 15,2014 2:43 pm || Up

      Aww, thanks

    • MikeV MikeV Dec 15,2014 2:43 pm || Up

      the man with the rubber gloves was surprisingly gentle

      And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

      Thanks, and go As.

      • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 15,2014 2:47 pm || Up

        I did have a male nurse. I wasn’t impressed with his nursing.

        • Dial C for Concupiscence Dial C for Concupiscence Dec 15,2014 3:00 pm || Up

          I hope you gave him real time critiques

  31. Englishmajor Englishmajor Dec 15,2014 4:07 pm

    I’m in Minnesota visiting the family for a few days. All the presents I bought are wrong, but fortunately the children destroy them so fast it doesn’t matter. I deviated from the equal-if-not-identical-for-each rule because I found a tiny adorable snow globe for the five-year-old, who collects them, and did not find a similarly adorable paperweight for the eight-year-old, who collects them. The eight-year-old solved that problem within 10 minutes by asking her sister to let her look at the snow globe, holding it upside-down over my coffee cup to watch the snow collect at the top of the globe, and then dropping it, which not only deprived the five-year-old of the gift but filled my coffee with broken glass and glitter. It was an accident but a pretty brilliant maneuver.

    • Future Ed Future Ed Dec 15,2014 7:13 pm || Up

      A child from Mankedo collects snow globes?

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
  32. Bed Bed Dec 15,2014 4:22 pm

    For those keeping score at home I got an A in School Organization and Administration…and yes, the class was as fun as it sounds. Only 21 more hours to go until Dr. Bed…it’s 50-50 I make it through this alive.

    But seriously, folks...
    • Soaker Soaker Dec 15,2014 4:25 pm || Up

      I look forward to reading your thesis on Recess and Lunch Period Management.

      • Bed Bed Dec 15,2014 5:17 pm || Up

        I’m pretty sure everyone is looking forward to reading that.

        But seriously, folks...
    • AV AV Dec 15,2014 4:35 pm || Up

      fresno or bridgeport, vis a vis finding time within the existing number of hours during the schoolday for more group PD…

      GO!

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • Bed Bed Dec 15,2014 5:17 pm || Up

        Sorry, my brain is on break until the middle of next month.

        But seriously, folks...
  33. doctorK doctorK Dec 15,2014 5:06 pm
    • Englishmajor Englishmajor Dec 15,2014 9:10 pm || Up

      We need more news stories quoting Judy Bunce of West Des Moines.

  34. Bed Bed Dec 15,2014 5:16 pm

    Ed…I know I haven’t given you much material for the twitter feed. We need to bring in a Free Kraut intern to go back and comb through all the silly posts in past lounges.

    But seriously, folks...
    • colin colin Dec 15,2014 7:13 pm || Up

      Free Kraut intern is still busy doing nevermoor’s taxes.

      • Bed Bed Dec 15,2014 10:25 pm || Up

        A more worthy task to be sure.

        But seriously, folks...
      • nevermoor nevermoor Dec 16,2014 10:34 am || Up

        As if we could afford TurboTax money for an intern!

        "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • Future Ed Future Ed Dec 15,2014 7:14 pm || Up

      I have been in and out.

      there is plenty of backdated material. I will never run out

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
  35. Bed Bed Dec 15,2014 5:20 pm

    Yes, I am cool enough to wear jorts but I’m still not cool enough to watch The Mentalist.

    But seriously, folks...
  36. Jennifer Jennifer Dec 15,2014 9:20 pm

    Someone want to watch Christmas Vacation with me? Has to be the small spoon or get forked.

  37. Jennifer Jennifer Dec 15,2014 9:33 pm

    Do people really put pickle ornaments on Christmas trees?

  38. AV AV Dec 15,2014 9:37 pm
    *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • FreeSeatUpgrade FreeSeatUpgrade Dec 16,2014 8:03 pm || Up

      I just got back around to reading this, it’s fantastic. Susie Cagle is really clever, talented enough to make a big breakthrough as a comic/graphic novelist. The gentrification story she tells is fresh and open-minded, avoids the formulaic preachiness that dominates most such narratives. Also:

      * I love the Urban Stratgeies Council, whose data she uses, they do great work.
      * I wish Elaine Brown would go away.
      * That doesn’t look much like Libby.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • colin colin Dec 16,2014 8:33 pm || Up

        I really liked it too, as someone who doesn’t even live in the area. It struck me as a bit optimistic, but I wouldn’t really know.

      • doctorK doctorK Dec 17,2014 9:35 am || Up

        Also, Oakland would probably be better served if their city council members didn’t use a non-profit to fund house-flippers.

  39. Jennifer Jennifer Dec 15,2014 9:44 pm

    I don’t think I’m going to find the ending of Serial very satisfying.

    • vignette17 Dec 15,2014 9:58 pm || Up

      I mean, assuming they don’t have Adnan confessing on tape, what could they possibly wrap up with besides a “who knows?”

      • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 15,2014 10:28 pm || Up

        “Tune in next year for Season 2, the continuing saga of Adnan.”

    • Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Dec 15,2014 10:37 pm || Up

      As long as I never have to hear that defense lawyer’s voice again.

      • batgirl batgirl Dec 16,2014 9:55 am || Up

        OMG absolutely. My friend and I are convinced that she lost the trial based on her voice alone.

        • Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Dec 16,2014 10:36 am || Up

          I wouldn’t be surprised at all if that was true.

    • Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Dec 19,2014 11:09 am || Up

      I liked the ending. But I never had any expectations that she would solve the case. I liked the show for the ambiguity and way it brought us inside the head of a journalist.

      • Dial C for Concupiscence Dial C for Concupiscence Dec 23,2014 9:23 am || Up

        It was pretty much what I was expecting, which isn’t a bad thing

  40. Bed Bed Dec 15,2014 10:25 pm

    Jon Gruden signs a contract extension to stay at ESPN through 2021. The dream of the return is dead. Bring on the bloated corpse of Mike Holmgren.

    But seriously, folks...
  41. Bed Bed Dec 15,2014 10:35 pm

    There comes a moment in every man’s life when he must decide what’s wrong and what’s right. I knew my moment had come, so I stood up and looked God right in the face and said no…no, I was not going to pay seven dollars for half a gallon of organic orange juice. I stood there defiant, shaking with righteous anger, I stood there and made my stand. This seven dollar a half gallon organic orange juice shall not pass through these lips…not now, not ever. I, a simple man, and of sound mind, will be content to buy the 99 cent orange juice concentrate. I will buy it, bring it to my humble home, open the can by peeling the paper off, and dump it into a plastic jug, and then mix in some of the finest tap water this great country of ours has to offer. I will be content with this murky, orange juice like drink because I am a man…a man who has decided what’s wrong, and what’s right.

    But seriously, folks...
    • Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Dec 15,2014 10:38 pm || Up

      You sure are an odd walla.

      • AV AV Dec 15,2014 10:50 pm || Up

        at least he’s not a looza. (i won’t ask if he’s naked.)

        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  42. elcroata elcroata Dec 15,2014 11:06 pm
    All I can say about stats is… SCOTT BROSIUS!!
    • ptbnl Dec 16,2014 12:31 am || Up

      Meanwhile Uber jacked their price up to $100 for a cab out of downtown Sydney.

      If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
      • MikeV MikeV Dec 16,2014 8:39 am || Up

        FK that company so hard.

        And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

        Thanks, and go As.

    • dmoas Dec 16,2014 9:51 am || Up

      Not Xenophobic Enough.

  43. Jennifer Jennifer Dec 15,2014 11:53 pm

    This is true friendship.

    • elcroata elcroata Dec 16,2014 12:27 am || Up

      She broke the invisibility code

      All I can say about stats is… SCOTT BROSIUS!!
      • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 16,2014 12:45 am || Up

        Thanks for fixing that someone. Also a sign of friendship.

        I guess I don’t know how to post YouTube from my phone.

      • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 16,2014 12:46 am || Up

        Wouldn’t be the first thing I’ve broken.

  44. elcroata elcroata Dec 16,2014 8:39 am

    Always good:


    All I can say about stats is… SCOTT BROSIUS!!
  45. MikeV MikeV Dec 16,2014 9:36 am

    ” Many executives say their reliance on text messaging and email for negotiations has become so prevalent that even when they are in the same building as their counterparts, they don’t necessarily feel the need to talk in person.”

    Billy: John can I have Upton pls? U can have Kazmir.

    John: LOL OK but u haf 2 take BJ too.

    Billy: Sry. No.

    John: Billy pls.

    Billy: No. G2G I M giving Shark 2 Chisox.

    And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

    Thanks, and go As.

    • Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Dec 16,2014 9:38 am || Up

      Alex: Can we have JD

      Billy: No that would be dum

      Alex: Lawrie tho

      Billy: K

      • lenscrafters Dec 16,2014 9:45 am || Up

        Indians: we can haz Moss?

        Billy: no

        Indians: plz?

        Billy: k

        • Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Dec 16,2014 9:46 am || Up

          Billy: Checking in again on J-Roll

          Ruben: {poop emoji}

          • AV AV Dec 18,2014 4:29 pm || Up

            HT DrK below.

            *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  46. Jennifer Jennifer Dec 16,2014 9:41 am

    I’ve had zero sleep, but OMG I feel so much better. I’ve cleaned the whole house, cleaned out my email (back to 2008), and completed like, six craft projects already. Rescheduled appointments. Made appointments. Finally fixed my bank statement shit (over 1 year going now). Concert tickets go on sale at 1300. I hope I don’t crash before then.

    • MikeV MikeV Dec 16,2014 9:45 am || Up

      What kind of painkillers did they give you? Speed?

      And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

      Thanks, and go As.

      • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 16,2014 9:48 am || Up

        More Norco, but double the dose. After weeks of nausea, HOLY fuck nuggets, I am finally feeling relief. Need me to fold some clothes? Vacuum?

        • MikeV MikeV Dec 16,2014 9:56 am || Up

          Actually, yes. My house is disgracefully messy.

          And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

          Thanks, and go As.

          • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 16,2014 12:36 pm || Up

            Never mind. I’m starting to crash.

            • MikeV MikeV Dec 16,2014 12:44 pm || Up

              I’ll put back the maid outfit.

              And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

              Thanks, and go As.

              • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 16,2014 12:49 pm || Up

                Keep it. You can wear it for me.

                • MikeV MikeV Dec 16,2014 12:59 pm || Up

                  its way too small.

                  And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

                  Thanks, and go As.

                • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 16,2014 1:07 pm || Up

                  Well then I sure as fuck can’t wear it.

                • MikeV MikeV Dec 16,2014 1:15 pm || Up

                  lies.

                  And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

                  Thanks, and go As.

        • ptbnl Dec 16,2014 9:59 am || Up

          We sold our vacuum cleaner … it was just gathering dust.

          If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
      • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 16,2014 9:49 am || Up

        I found photos of me with my natural hair color. That’s how old the emails were.

        • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 16,2014 9:51 am || Up

          Do you guys want to see a disgusting photo? I’m guessing they had problems intubating me yesterday and it tore up my throat.

              • AV AV Dec 16,2014 10:06 am || Up

                [checks facebook]

                *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
            • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 16,2014 10:01 am || Up

              A link for the curious.

              http://oi57.tinypic.com/dmci38.jpg

              • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 16,2014 10:03 am || Up

                That is a huge, disgusting photo.

                • AV AV Dec 16,2014 10:16 am || Up

                  pretty gross.

                  i shoulda taken a shot the first day i could open my mouth when you could see the buildup of 6 weeks not brushing on the inside of the teeth, even on my tongue with nubbins of black stuff worn shiny against the roof of my mouth, and which frankly must have said fuck it and peeled a bit, so every so often during that day i’d suddenly feel something in my mouth and wonder… did i eat some old prosciutto a few minutes go?

                  *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
                • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 16,2014 10:18 am || Up

                  LOL! Ew and awesome.

          • Soaker Soaker Dec 16,2014 3:54 pm || Up

            So, medical question: Why would you be intubated for kidney stone removal? The only thing I can think of is you have something like sleep apnea and might stop breathing while under anesthesia?

            • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 16,2014 4:02 pm || Up

              The procedure was under general anesthesia because of the pain and length of the procedure. I think anyway….

              • Soaker Soaker Dec 16,2014 4:35 pm || Up

                Googling “general anesthesia” indicates that the tube is more common than I thought. My thinking was that the anesthesiologist monitors the breathing carefully and is ready to deal with cessation. The last surgery I had, there was the intravenous sedative first and then the mask to KO me once I was in the OR, but no tube (to my knowledge, I guess). I hope not to have too much firsthand experience with this subject.

  47. lenscrafters Dec 16,2014 9:46 am

    Theo must have felt bad for us.

    • batgirl batgirl Dec 16,2014 10:00 am || Up

      I don’t have a post comment box anymore, only a reply box, so I’m replying.

      HOW THE FK DO GREEN DAY, STEVIE RAY VAUGHN AND JOAN JETT GET IN THE HOF BEFORE THE SMITHS? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?

      • Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Dec 16,2014 10:03 am || Up

        Morrissey shouldn’t done all those roids.

      • 5Aces 5Aces Dec 16,2014 10:22 am || Up

        Heaven knows you’re miserable now about this.

        Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
        • AV AV Dec 16,2014 10:26 am || Up

          and when you say now, how soon is that?

          *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
          • Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Dec 16,2014 10:37 am || Up

            What difference does it make?

            • 5Aces 5Aces Dec 16,2014 10:54 am || Up

              This Charming Man thinks it could matter a lot.

              Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
              • batgirl batgirl Dec 16,2014 12:10 pm || Up

                I guess they just haven’t earned it yet, baby.

      • Bed Bed Dec 16,2014 10:10 pm || Up

        Wait…Joan Jett had more than one song? I did like her work as a wide receiver for the Raiders however.

        But seriously, folks...
        • AV AV Dec 16,2014 10:24 pm || Up

          yes, but zero (ZERO!!) hendrix covers. i don’t understand how she even got on the radio.

          no seriously, SRV got over 30% of the fan vote. lou reed got like 5.

          i am complaining to a voting member, right? i assume you’re the 98.9% who didn’t know who kraftwerk was.

          *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
          • Bed Bed Dec 16,2014 10:27 pm || Up

            Genesis is in so I’m cool. I’d love to go there one day I just wish it wasn’t in Cleveland.

            But seriously, folks...
      • colin colin Dec 17,2014 5:37 am || Up

        Rock’n’roll Hall of Fame is terrible, but it’s also an impossible concept. It’s just way too broad of a category with no clear criteria for greatness.

      • Future Ed Future Ed Dec 17,2014 6:36 am || Up

        PEDs?

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
      • Future Ed Future Ed Dec 17,2014 6:39 am || Up

        but, joan jett? come on, she is a saint. “Rock and Roll” “hall of fame” is beneath her.

        She should have been the first.

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
        • Soaker Soaker Dec 17,2014 3:18 pm || Up

          The Who should be opening for her! (September 23: A’s-Rangers at the Coliseum, Joan Jett with Special Guests The Who at Oracle Arena.)

  48. Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Dec 16,2014 10:24 am
    • FreeSeatUpgrade FreeSeatUpgrade Dec 16,2014 12:57 pm || Up

      The nose picking exhibit is sure to be a hit with the kids.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  49. Jennifer Jennifer Dec 16,2014 11:33 am

    OH YEAH. Red Rocks ordered. For me, hitchhiker Bobby Ray, and his daughter Millie June. In THREE different transactions. I’m on a fucking roll today.

  50. FreeSeatUpgrade FreeSeatUpgrade Dec 16,2014 1:12 pm

    Bed bait.

    Specifically, we would spend the day putting up our Christmas tree while Daryle Lamonica, Jim Otto, Fred Dryer, and others mooed Christmas carols from an old LP called The Oakland Raiders Present: Holiday Halftime that popped and crackled on my mom’s old record player.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  51. AV AV Dec 16,2014 1:24 pm

    i realize it’s a bit of a pro forma tournament, but cruz azul just got dismantled by real madrid in the club world cup.

    *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Dec 16,2014 1:28 pm || Up

      Real Madrid has some OK players.

    • MikeV MikeV Dec 16,2014 1:45 pm || Up

      and then Messi is just like “k”

      And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

      Thanks, and go As.

      • AV AV Dec 16,2014 3:43 pm || Up

        wow. final aggregate, 12-1. barça fielded 5 players from the B team and messi not in the lineup.

        huesca had interesting jerseys though.

        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
        • MikeV MikeV Dec 16,2014 4:05 pm || Up

          That one guy from a 3rd division squad that scored against Barca at Camp Nou…

          And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

          Thanks, and go As.

          • AV AV Dec 16,2014 6:04 pm || Up

            his money is no good at any bar in huesca for the rest of his life.

            *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
            • elcroata elcroata Dec 17,2014 12:31 am || Up

              Hope to run into him for a round of drinks next week, when I’m there

              All I can say about stats is… SCOTT BROSIUS!!
              • MikeV MikeV Dec 17,2014 8:38 am || Up

                Awesome.

                I expect a signed photo that says “Mike, you would have scored that too.”

                Thanks.

                And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

                Thanks, and go As.

    • AV AV Dec 17,2014 2:07 pm || Up

      at least viggo didn’t fly to morocco for nothing. san lorenzo ekes out a place at the final in overtime.

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  52. elcroata elcroata Dec 16,2014 1:34 pm
    All I can say about stats is… SCOTT BROSIUS!!
    • Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Dec 16,2014 1:45 pm || Up

      I literally chortled when I saw what the cop looked like.

      This Hawkins fellow is wonderful though.

  53. Jennifer Jennifer Dec 16,2014 7:25 pm

    I really like that Thinking Out Loud song by Ed Sheeran.

    • Bed Bed Dec 16,2014 10:04 pm || Up

      I really like to think out loud…not sure if that helps.

      But seriously, folks...
  54. Bed Bed Dec 16,2014 10:06 pm

    Take my advice…never play Truth of Dare with Henrik Ibsen. That guy will do anything and I mean anything on a dare. I just got back from taking him to the emergency room after he broke his foot jumping off my roof.

    But seriously, folks...
  55. Bed Bed Dec 16,2014 10:09 pm

    Favorite Christmas song?

    But seriously, folks...
    • Bed Bed Dec 16,2014 10:11 pm || Up

      Die Hard for me…and yes, it’s a Christmas song.

      But seriously, folks...
      • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 16,2014 10:17 pm || Up

        Hells Bells

      • doctorK doctorK Dec 17,2014 9:38 am || Up

        Jolly Old Sadist

      • Englishmajor Englishmajor Dec 18,2014 6:15 pm || Up

        I saw this show on Sunday night in Minneapolis, and it was awesome. The opening song, “It’s a Very Die Hard Christmas”, is sung to the tune of “It’s a Holly Jolly Christmas”.

    • Future Ed Future Ed Dec 17,2014 6:44 am || Up

      monkey for christmas

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • andeux andeux Dec 17,2014 10:47 am || Up

      “Father Christmas” by the Kinks.

      TINSTAAFK
      • Kay Temple Kirk Kay Temple Kirk Dec 17,2014 8:49 pm || Up

        Agreed.

        \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
    • AV AV Dec 17,2014 10:54 am || Up

      that’s the thing about xmas songs. technically, they’re all listenable, even good. as long as you don’t hear them in december.

      ok, fine, i’ll bite: you mean you forgot cranberries too?

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • MikeV MikeV Dec 17,2014 11:13 am || Up

      Fairytale Of New York

      And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

      Thanks, and go As.

    • ptbnl Dec 17,2014 11:26 am || Up

      White (Xmas) Riot

      If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
    • batgirl batgirl Dec 17,2014 12:44 pm || Up

      “Marshmallow World.” But my new super favorite is “I want a Hippopotamus for Christmas.” It is incredible.

      • nevermoor nevermoor Dec 17,2014 2:02 pm || Up

        Not only that, it got the OKC zoo an actual Hippo.

        "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • Future Ed Future Ed Dec 17,2014 4:24 pm || Up

      fuck christmas?

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
  56. Bed Bed Dec 16,2014 10:25 pm

    Like most people I’ve learned all my personal philosophies from late 80’s HBO movies. So, remember you only have to be dead solid perfect just one time.

    But seriously, folks...
  57. Bed Bed Dec 16,2014 10:29 pm

    I am so tired that I plan to sleep the entire weekend…this of course will never happen but it’s good to dream

    But seriously, folks...
  58. Bed Bed Dec 16,2014 10:29 pm

    The soundtrack for tonight’s lounge was done by Tangerine Dream.

    But seriously, folks...
  59. Bed Bed Dec 16,2014 10:31 pm

    The Kings lost tonight so I’ll just assume they fired the new coach.

    But seriously, folks...
    • Bed Bed Dec 16,2014 10:33 pm || Up

      It’s great when your teams owner thinks the strategies he used coaching youth basketball will work in the NBA.

      But seriously, folks...
  60. Bed Bed Dec 16,2014 10:43 pm

    At the end of the day I’m a simple man. All I want is money, fame, sex with no strings attached, and some really good bean dip.

    But seriously, folks...
  61. Bed Bed Dec 16,2014 10:46 pm

    I wonder if when Coldplay sings the song Yellow in Oakland if they call it Gold instead?

    But seriously, folks...
  62. Bed Bed Dec 16,2014 10:49 pm

    Have I mentioned how passionate I am about the price of organic orange juice?

    But seriously, folks...
  63. Bed Bed Dec 16,2014 10:52 pm

    Well, no one is here which means it’s a perfect time to talk about the time I got to the second level on Donkey Kong back in 1984. It was a warm, sunny day in Sacramento. I was at Adam Bailey’s birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese. I stood before the machine and made history. I…(www.freekraut.net is shut down so no one will have to read the rest of this story)

    But seriously, folks...
    • AV AV Dec 16,2014 11:04 pm || Up

      i was looking forward to this. it was going to make perfect sense. next to this disco adam and eve allegory i started watching.

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • Bed Bed Dec 16,2014 11:12 pm || Up

        “I’ve never been higher in my life.” A quote from the film and what I assume the studio chief who green-lit that thing was feeling at the time.

        But seriously, folks...
  64. Bed Bed Dec 16,2014 10:52 pm

    Best ring entrance music for a wrestler?

    But seriously, folks...
  65. Bed Bed Dec 16,2014 10:54 pm

    If the lead character in House was more casual I assume the show would have been called Home.

    But seriously, folks...
    • Dial C for Concupiscence Dial C for Concupiscence Dec 17,2014 9:40 am || Up

      It takes love to make a House a Home

  66. Bed Bed Dec 16,2014 10:55 pm

    I live my life by one simple rule…what would Sophie B. Hawkins do?

    But seriously, folks...
  67. Bed Bed Dec 16,2014 11:12 pm

    Thank you and goodnight and may God bless America.

    But seriously, folks...
  68. Bed Bed Dec 16,2014 11:13 pm

    (Now blank)

    But seriously, folks...
  69. FreeSeatUpgrade FreeSeatUpgrade Dec 17,2014 9:06 am

    I ain’t gonna work on Jerry’s Ron’s Jean’s Libby’s farm no more!

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • colin colin Dec 17,2014 9:16 am || Up

      Does this mean you’re quitting your job?

      • AV AV Dec 17,2014 9:20 am || Up

        yeah, WTF? where the F stands for farm.

        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 17,2014 9:22 am || Up

        OMG. QUESTION MARK!EXCLAMATION POINT?

        • MikeV MikeV Dec 17,2014 9:25 am || Up

          LOUD NOISES?!

          And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

          Thanks, and go As.

          • 5Aces 5Aces Dec 17,2014 9:33 am || Up

            I LOVE LAMP!

            Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
          • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 17,2014 9:41 am || Up

            If he did, he should come to MO and hang out with me for the winter. It’s pretty easy. We get the eggs every day. Take pain meds. Let the dogs out. Nap. Do some online shopping. Make some crafts. Cook dinner. Throw the dog some crackers while watching Food Network. It will be fun.

            Look! Ozzie is already ready for you to toss him a treat!

            • 5Aces 5Aces Dec 17,2014 10:27 am || Up

              So it WAS you who let the dogs out!

              Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
            • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 17,2014 10:43 am || Up

              Ozzie is now sad. We’re going to watch NCIS all day now to relieve our depression.

      • Soaker Soaker Dec 17,2014 9:57 am || Up

        Farms in Berkeley, perhaps? MOOOOO…

        • FreeSeatUpgrade FreeSeatUpgrade Dec 17,2014 9:59 am || Up

          Clever, and correct.

          "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
          • Soaker Soaker Dec 17,2014 10:06 am || Up

            I didn’t think you’d go too far. Congratulations.

            • nevermoor nevermoor Dec 17,2014 10:20 am || Up

              Ditto that. Though the real question is how you’ll continue to deliver the inside scoop on our imminent new ballpark

              "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
              • FreeSeatUpgrade FreeSeatUpgrade Dec 17,2014 10:47 am || Up

                Cal, desperate to recoup the staggering losses from the Memorial Stadium renovation and subsequent poor ticket sales, will convert it to a multipurpose venue and host both the A’s and the Raiders.

                "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
                • andeux andeux Dec 17,2014 11:03 am || Up

                  Memorial Stadium is kind of big. Evans Diamond has more of the intimate feel that ownership has been trying to cultivate.

                  TINSTAAFK
                • Dial C for Concupiscence Dial C for Concupiscence Dec 17,2014 11:53 am || Up

                  Only if they tarp the upper benches

          • andeux andeux Dec 17,2014 10:51 am || Up

            Congrats.

            TINSTAAFK
          • ptbnl Dec 17,2014 11:34 am || Up

            Excellent news.

            If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
        • batgirl batgirl Dec 17,2014 1:27 pm || Up

          I don’t get it, but congrats!

          • elcroata elcroata Dec 17,2014 1:31 pm || Up

            Neither do I, but it seems it is something good, so yeah

            All I can say about stats is… SCOTT BROSIUS!!
            • Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Dec 17,2014 1:52 pm || Up

              I think FSU got traded.

              • FreeSeatUpgrade FreeSeatUpgrade Dec 17,2014 2:47 pm || Up

                Free agent. Once I hired Scott Boras the offers flocked in.

                "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
                • DFA DFA Dec 17,2014 2:53 pm || Up

                  Were you nontendered first?

                  In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
                • FreeSeatUpgrade FreeSeatUpgrade Dec 17,2014 3:20 pm || Up

                  No, I got a qualifying offer. Amusingly, now that I’ve inked a deal to play elsewhere my original team wonders if it could have offered more to keep me.

                  "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
                • dmoas Dec 17,2014 3:22 pm || Up

                  Did you respond: “Suuuuuuck iiiitt.”?

                • FreeSeatUpgrade FreeSeatUpgrade Dec 17,2014 4:18 pm || Up

                  No. I might work with some of these people again. I’m a pro. You know, except for the posting on an A’s blog part.

                  "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
                • DFA DFA Dec 17,2014 3:36 pm || Up

                  Did the old team lose contractual control of you after 6 years per the cba?

                  In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
                • FreeSeatUpgrade FreeSeatUpgrade Dec 17,2014 4:18 pm || Up

                  The pension vested after 10 years, reasonably analogous in that my freedom to look elsewhere was significantly enhanced.

                  "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
                • Soaker Soaker Dec 17,2014 5:26 pm || Up

                  Do you have an option to take a lump sum and roll it over into an IRA? Because public employee pension obligations, you know, that’s not a controversial subject at all. My kneejerk thought is to take the money and run so it’s under your control even if present value projects out a little less that way.

                • ptbnl Dec 17,2014 5:34 pm || Up

                  Funny how often that happens.

                  I have colleagues who have courted offers elsewhere with no intention of moving but simply to get the attention of their current department.

                  If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
                • elcroata elcroata Dec 17,2014 11:07 pm || Up

                  SO, the next thing we can expect is a full page ad in the Chronicle thanking your former fans

                  All I can say about stats is… SCOTT BROSIUS!!
                • ptbnl Dec 18,2014 12:14 am || Up

                  East Bay Express, please.

                  If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
                • AV AV Dec 18,2014 8:59 am || Up

                  and nearly simultaneously, oakland gov improves the city slightly, and in a limited way… coincidence??

                  *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  70. AV AV Dec 17,2014 9:19 am

    check out what the cuban market is doing…

    *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • AV AV Dec 17,2014 10:46 am || Up

      the miami herald reader comments weren’t nearly as interesting as i predicted. pretty good, but not historic good. but score one for this universal truth: if you con’t know there’s supposed to be, or how to put, a space after (and probably the same space you somehow put before) a period or comma, you’re probably nuts.

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • AV AV Dec 17,2014 1:58 pm || Up

      meanwhile, the FARC declares a unilateral ceasefire.

      …will the last latin american comunista please turn out the lights?

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • FreeSeatUpgrade FreeSeatUpgrade Dec 17,2014 2:49 pm || Up

      This is such great news, and so overdue. I also think the political power of anti-Castro Cubans in Florida is in sharp decline, so there shouldn’t be too much of an electoral price to pay (and if Jeb’s on the ticket it wouldn’t matter anyway).

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • dmoas Dec 17,2014 3:13 pm || Up

        Obama doesn’t have to do the hard part anyway. Though he will get blamed regardless.

    • AV AV Dec 17,2014 8:17 pm || Up

      the relevant article finally comes out at 5pm.

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  71. doctorK doctorK Dec 17,2014 10:45 am
    • MikeV MikeV Dec 17,2014 12:44 pm || Up

      Niners released him.

      And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

      Thanks, and go As.

      • nevermoor nevermoor Dec 17,2014 2:04 pm || Up

        And the hits keep coming. Really sucks that we couldn’t get Gore a ring.

        "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
        • MikeV MikeV Dec 17,2014 2:16 pm || Up

          yeah, I can’t think of a more deserving player without one right now

          And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

          Thanks, and go As.

          • vignette17 Dec 17,2014 2:51 pm || Up

            Justin Smith.

            • dmoas Dec 17,2014 3:15 pm || Up

              Ernie Banks.

            • MikeV MikeV Dec 17,2014 3:33 pm || Up

              Nah. As great as Cowboy has been, he took a huge FA offer to come to SF from Buffalo.

              Gore has been in SF his whole career, including the shit years.

              And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

              Thanks, and go As.

              • nevermoor nevermoor Dec 17,2014 3:36 pm || Up

                It blows my mind he can still walk after the Singletary-era pounding he took behind a shit-OL with no passing game.

                "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
              • DFA DFA Dec 17,2014 7:51 pm || Up

                came from cincy… but agree.

                In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
  72. dmoas Dec 17,2014 3:16 pm
    • FreeSeatUpgrade FreeSeatUpgrade Dec 17,2014 3:24 pm || Up

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  73. East Bay Evans East Bay Evans Dec 17,2014 5:37 pm
  74. ptbnl Dec 18,2014 9:40 am

    Happy birthday Poppy!

    If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
  75. MikeV MikeV Dec 18,2014 12:16 pm

    :(

    And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

    Thanks, and go As.

    • Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Dec 18,2014 12:18 pm || Up

      I’m sort of happy about that. The Xolos are like the Team USA of Mexico.

      In the end, it seems clear that MIx wanted nothing to do with the way MLS operates.

      • MikeV MikeV Dec 18,2014 12:21 pm || Up

        Pretty much. The single entity bullshit is holding the league back. When good young national team players are refusing to sign with teams because of the shitty way the league operates, there need to be changes made.

        And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

        Thanks, and go As.

    • AV AV Dec 18,2014 2:42 pm || Up

      i’m gonna take some liberties with the translation: “i’d rather be in tijuana.”

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  76. Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Dec 18,2014 12:32 pm
    • doctorK doctorK Dec 18,2014 1:45 pm || Up

      With bonus coverage regarding the Catalonian practice of beating the shit log.

    • Bed Bed Dec 18,2014 6:06 pm || Up

      I’m always nervous to link to Deadspin because I just assume both myself and my computer will catch some disease.

      But seriously, folks...
  77. FreeSeatUpgrade FreeSeatUpgrade Dec 18,2014 1:40 pm

    Less than 72 hours until Raiders vs Bills at the Coliseum. I can only imagine that the whole world is as excited as I am!

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • Soaker Soaker Dec 19,2014 12:58 pm || Up

      So glad not to be stuck with that. Reno gave up on the Raiders a month ago. The only reason we got one was, it was a Niners game.

  78. doctorK doctorK Dec 18,2014 4:03 pm
  79. Jennifer Jennifer Dec 18,2014 5:14 pm

    So I took my stent out. It was weird. I got a little woozy.

    • AV AV Dec 18,2014 7:07 pm || Up

      respect.

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  80. FreeSeatUpgrade FreeSeatUpgrade Dec 18,2014 5:15 pm
    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  81. Englishmajor Englishmajor Dec 18,2014 5:57 pm

    The list of 16 Players I Really Don’t Want The A’s to Trade, which I made when Donaldson was traded, is (reportedly) down to 13:

    • vignette17 Dec 18,2014 6:01 pm || Up

      For all the leaks coming out of the Padres for Kemp, there was not a peep about this. Apparently the return is “one or two minor league arms.”

      Um, okay…

    • Soaker Soaker Dec 18,2014 6:07 pm || Up

      Not buying that one without confirmation.

    • Bed Bed Dec 18,2014 6:08 pm || Up

      I’m not sure I could name 16 A’s players…in my defense no one stays for long on this team.

      But seriously, folks...
    • Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Dec 18,2014 6:09 pm || Up

      One of y’all liked Streich, no?

      • vignette17 Dec 18,2014 7:21 pm || Up

        Well, until he got hurt, he was interesting.

  82. Jennifer Jennifer Dec 18,2014 6:05 pm

    We need a new lounge again?

    • Bed Bed Dec 18,2014 6:10 pm || Up

      I could also use a new Fresca,

      But seriously, folks...
  83. mother pucker Dec 18,2014 7:53 pm

    What is everyone’s favorite Norris memory?

    For me, it is easily the walk-off he hit against Casilla in 2012 with 2 outs and 2 strikes.

    • vignette17 Dec 18,2014 10:08 pm || Up

      Um, is there another Norris memory to choose?

      The AL Wild Card game will linger for a while too though.

    • MikeV MikeV Dec 18,2014 10:20 pm || Up

      the hulk smash thrown out stealing rawr thing he did.

      the walkoff was badass too though.

      And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

      Thanks, and go As.

    • FreeSeatUpgrade FreeSeatUpgrade Dec 19,2014 3:55 pm || Up

      That time when his beard defeated the Kaiser in the War to End All Wars.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • doctorK doctorK Dec 19,2014 4:06 pm || Up

      His three-run bomb that happened in the 8th inning of my 50th birthday party game, right after I donned the Rally doctorK wig.

    • Bed Bed Dec 19,2014 5:55 pm || Up

      When he went through the windshield feet first in Good Guys Wear Black…in slo mo no less.

      But seriously, folks...
    • Future Ed Future Ed Dec 19,2014 9:27 pm || Up

      Walk off caught stealing orioles 2012

      I have $5. No I don\'t.

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