Game Thread 91: The Giants Are Bad People ← FREE KRAUT!

Game Thread 91: The Giants Are Bad People 351

Sorry if someone was working on a better Game Thread. But the Giants are bad people, and we need to talk about it.

351 thoughts on “Game Thread 91: The Giants Are Bad People

  1. AV Jul 9,2014 7:18 pm

    ahem. as i was saying… all in all, it’s a pretty decent day to be a team spelled with an initial A facing a bunch of orangies in hostile territory.

    *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • Englishmajor Jul 9,2014 8:00 pm || Up

      But at least we didn’t have to wait for extra innings before something happened.

  2. witchy Jul 9,2014 7:19 pm

    hi. i believe in stephan vogt.

    • Ben Folds' Nuts Jul 9,2014 7:21 pm || Up

      Stephen Vogt is knocking on the door to your heart.

      • witchy Jul 9,2014 7:22 pm || Up

        he battered that down last season. ;)

        • FreeSeatUpgrade Jul 9,2014 7:33 pm || Up

          Watch out, next he’ll sidle up to you all sweet and puppy-like and whisper sweet nothings in your ear.

          "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  3. Englishmajor Jul 9,2014 7:21 pm

    I was just saying too, that I went to my All-Star FanFest volunteer orientation today and there was a big poster of Buster Posey in the auditorium. It made me smile to think that’s as close as he will get.

    • witchy Jul 9,2014 7:22 pm || Up

      did you rip it down and burn it, n?

      • AV Jul 9,2014 7:25 pm || Up

        buster poster buster!

        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • Englishmajor Jul 9,2014 7:28 pm || Up

        When I say big, i mean like the side of a barn big, and way over my head. If we hadn’t been hustled through I might have looked for a stepladder so I could write (GERALD NOT ACTUALLY INVITED TO THIS GAME) on it.

  4. James V. Jul 9,2014 7:26 pm

    Let’s go, other new guy.

    I’m glad we got to have Samardzija’s first A’s start in the Coliseum, though.

  5. Future Ed Jul 9,2014 7:28 pm

    I like belt.

    He is a complainer

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
  6. James V. Jul 9,2014 7:28 pm

    Challenge it, Bochy!!

  7. Jennifer Jul 9,2014 7:29 pm

    It’s Hammel time.

    • AV Jul 9,2014 7:30 pm || Up

      stop.

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Jul 9,2014 7:34 pm || Up

      AV’s crazy, this is gold!

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • dmoas Jul 9,2014 7:35 pm || Up

        Or FSU doesn’t remember what comes before Hammel Time.

      • AV Jul 9,2014 7:37 pm || Up

        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
        • FreeSeatUpgrade Jul 9,2014 7:44 pm || Up

          Ah, yes, I get it. I was thinking Hummel time.

          "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
        • Future Ed Jul 9,2014 9:41 pm || Up

          I have $5. No I don\'t.
  8. Ben Folds' Nuts Jul 9,2014 7:29 pm

    Here it comes! He’s gonna burn his challenge!

  9. Jennifer Jul 9,2014 7:30 pm

    Jed smiles!

  10. Ben Folds' Nuts Jul 9,2014 7:31 pm

    “Brandon Moss: Not a good arm”–One of the Giants’ announcers.

    • AV Jul 9,2014 7:34 pm || Up

      how did they find time to comment on the game while panning the crowd for people to say smug things about?

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • Future Ed Jul 9,2014 7:36 pm || Up

        gamer babes

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
        • AV Jul 9,2014 7:38 pm || Up

          huh? is this a thing?

          *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
          • Englishmajor Jul 9,2014 7:40 pm || Up

            From the great minds who brought you “Grab some pine, meat”.

            • Ben Folds' Nuts Jul 9,2014 7:44 pm || Up

              As bad as Glen is at announcing, perhaps his greater sin is simply being related to his brother.

            • AV Jul 9,2014 7:45 pm || Up

              we can bag on glen and ray all day long, and yet…

              *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
          • andeux Jul 9,2014 7:49 pm || Up

            Wendy Thurm wrote a good column about it.

            TINSTAAFK
            • Englishmajor Jul 9,2014 7:52 pm || Up

              She is the smartest Giants fan ever to walk the earth.

              • andeux Jul 9,2014 7:52 pm || Up

                Yep.

                TINSTAAFK
                • Englishmajor Jul 9,2014 8:05 pm || Up

                  LOL, speaking of:

                • Englishmajor Jul 9,2014 8:06 pm || Up

                • Englishmajor Jul 9,2014 8:07 pm || Up

                  Is that showing up as empty for everyone not on an older iPad eating bread-and-butter sandwiches and smearing up the screen?

                • Englishmajor Jul 9,2014 8:08 pm || Up
                • AV Jul 9,2014 8:10 pm || Up

                  i think it’s a bad link.

                  *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
                • andeux Jul 9,2014 8:13 pm || Up

                  fixed.
                  and heh.

                  TINSTAAFK
                • AV Jul 9,2014 8:16 pm || Up

                  nice.

                  *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
            • Ben Folds' Nuts Jul 9,2014 7:55 pm || Up

              Right on cue, they just talked about gamer babes again.

    • witchy Jul 9,2014 7:34 pm || Up

      torches and pitchforks!!!!!!!!!

  11. FreeSeatUpgrade Jul 9,2014 7:32 pm

    Vince, as Boche emerges from dugout: “He knows he’s going to challenge, why is he taking so long, I hate the theatrics replay involves, just challenge already.”

    Boche talks with umps, returns to dugout, no challenge: “The thing that’s so consistent about the replay process is how inconsistent it is.”

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • Ben Folds' Nuts Jul 9,2014 7:33 pm || Up

      Wait, so Vince doesn’t realize that the “theatrics” are actually a stalling tactic so you can get word from upstairs on whether or not to challenge?

      • FreeSeatUpgrade Jul 9,2014 7:36 pm || Up

        No, he does, he just presumed the outcome right away, then when events proved otherwise resorted to inanity to escape.

        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
        • Kay Temple Kirk Jul 9,2014 7:38 pm || Up

          Vince has proven time and time again that he cannot escape inanity.

          \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
  12. Ben Folds' Nuts Jul 9,2014 7:32 pm

    After we clinch, we should have Vogt do a Campaneris and play all nine positions. He has to have already played at least five of them this season.

  13. AV Jul 9,2014 7:32 pm

    i think it’s been solved here before but i can’t remember the answer. what’s the actual reason the fans at ATT sound like a crowd of teenage girls?

    *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • Ben Folds' Nuts Jul 9,2014 7:34 pm || Up

      AT&T park pipes in recordings of the Beatles playing at Shea Stadium.

      • Kay Temple Kirk Jul 9,2014 7:40 pm || Up

        I think that’s a tagline. It’s perfectly absurd, and begs and easy-to-answer question.

        \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
        • AV Jul 9,2014 7:42 pm || Up

          what did they pipe in at candlestick?

          *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
          • FreeSeatUpgrade Jul 9,2014 7:44 pm || Up

            Weed.

            "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
          • Kay Temple Kirk Jul 9,2014 7:45 pm || Up

            a Sinatra show from the Polo Grounds, of course!

            \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
          • Ben Folds' Nuts Jul 9,2014 7:45 pm || Up

            Recordings of places that weren’t awful.

          • AV Jul 9,2014 7:47 pm || Up

            i was just guessing what the easy-to-answer question would be.

            *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • Englishmajor Jul 9,2014 7:38 pm || Up

      So radio listeners can tell the difference between A’s fans making a noise because they reasonably believe something good is happening, based on their previous experience and understanding of the game, and Giants making a noise because OOOO PANDA OR SOMETHING SELFIE!

      • AV Jul 9,2014 7:41 pm || Up

        eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
        eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
        eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
        eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
        eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

        sorry. the leadoff hitter made the ball go beyond the infield so i thought it was a grand slam!!! i’m tweeting it.

        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
        • AV Jul 9,2014 7:43 pm || Up

          whoops. hey BFN. mind using your editing powers to trim that eeee string down? didn’t realize it wouldn’t break. will mess up the page for phone/pad users this way.

          *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  14. Thunderbutt Jul 9,2014 7:36 pm

    I’m looking forward to Hammel’s ABs.

    There is always a score.
  15. Ben Folds' Nuts Jul 9,2014 7:39 pm

    So the Giants’ sideline reporter just got super-condescended to by the play by play guys after doing her segment. “Attababe, what a scoop.” “We should call her ‘Scoop.'”

    • witchy Jul 9,2014 7:40 pm || Up

      why are you watching the giants feed?

      • Ben Folds' Nuts Jul 9,2014 7:41 pm || Up

        1) It’s the one being shown on Strikeout.co
        2) Literally any feed is better than Ray and Glen.

        • witchy Jul 9,2014 7:43 pm || Up

          that’s why i radio and then run in to watch tv.

          • witchy Jul 9,2014 7:44 pm || Up

            *watch.
            fucking jetlag.

            • witchy Jul 9,2014 7:45 pm || Up

              **listen to
              embarassed.
              this is what i look like on 4 hours of sleep for 15 days.

              • AV Jul 9,2014 7:49 pm || Up

                lol

                synesthesia’s gonna git ya!

                *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  16. dmoas Jul 9,2014 7:43 pm

    Wait. Is creepy urn guy in the A’s commercials the same dude as the annoying “Nothing But Calculus” guy?

    • Thunderbutt Jul 10,2014 9:03 am || Up

      I just noticed that, too. May very well be.

      There is always a score.
    • Ben Folds' Nuts Jul 10,2014 2:03 pm || Up

      Yes.

  17. Kay Temple Kirk Jul 9,2014 7:46 pm

    Has anyone picked up Mills yet? I want to see him pitch if he makes it through to Sacramento.

    \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
  18. Ben Folds' Nuts Jul 9,2014 7:49 pm

    Urgh.

  19. Jennifer Jul 9,2014 7:49 pm

    See ball go into glove.

  20. doctorK Jul 9,2014 7:50 pm

    I would really like for Sexy Arm to actually make some fielding plays now and then.

    • AV Jul 9,2014 7:52 pm || Up

      yeah, the rocket’s nice. but why go there every time?

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • Ben Folds' Nuts Jul 9,2014 8:03 pm || Up

      I looked up Sexy Arm on Google Images and I didn’t find a single picture of Cespedes!

  21. Jennifer Jul 9,2014 8:02 pm

    For the NRAFs in FK land, the game is on MLBN tomorrow. Unless I dreamed that up in my drug coma today.

  22. MikeV Jul 9,2014 8:05 pm

    Vogt: 29 games, 1.0 WAR

    I expect him to be a 5.5 WAR player from now on.

    And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

    Thanks, and go As.

  23. Future Ed Jul 9,2014 8:08 pm

    stop walking people

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
  24. Ben Folds' Nuts Jul 9,2014 8:09 pm

    Giants fan catches foul ball, proceeds to violently high-five every Giants fan in his vicinity.

  25. witchy Jul 9,2014 8:10 pm

    blahblahblahVC

  26. AV Jul 9,2014 8:11 pm

    so close coco.

    *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  27. AV Jul 9,2014 8:13 pm

    oh come on.

    *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  28. Future Ed Jul 9,2014 8:16 pm

    newest guy, what the hell

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
  29. bear88 Jul 9,2014 8:16 pm

    Hammel isn’t making a great first impression.

  30. lenscrafters Jul 9,2014 8:16 pm

    Bring back Tommy!

  31. Ben Folds' Nuts Jul 9,2014 8:17 pm

    What, we couldn’t have gotten Valbuena instead?

  32. doctorK Jul 9,2014 8:17 pm

    The new guy must still think he’s with the Cubs. He certainly is pitching like he is.

  33. andeux Jul 9,2014 8:18 pm

    No Ray, Hammel coming here from the NL is not just like Mills coming here from the PCL.

    TINSTAAFK
    • Ben Folds' Nuts Jul 9,2014 8:21 pm || Up

      Yeah, they hit better in the PCL.

    • FreeSeatUpgrade Jul 9,2014 8:22 pm || Up

      Well…

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  34. James V. Jul 9,2014 8:19 pm

    Liking the other New Guy more than this New Guy so far.

  35. AV Jul 9,2014 8:21 pm

    two’s a crooked number too, VC.

    *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • dmoas Jul 9,2014 8:23 pm || Up

      So is one and zero depending on how you write them.

      • AV Jul 9,2014 8:25 pm || Up

        no way. anybody who writes a one with two strokes is a straight up for’ner and has no business in baseball.

        ‘MURICA!

        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  36. doctorK Jul 9,2014 8:22 pm

    I have no patience for pitchers who can’t throw strikes.

    • MikeV Jul 9,2014 8:24 pm || Up

      You should, you’d walk more and K less.

      And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

      Thanks, and go As.

      • AV Jul 9,2014 8:25 pm || Up

        lol

        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • doctorK Jul 9,2014 8:28 pm || Up

        heh

        Actually, when I used to play softball, I was the grittiest, grinderiest player on the field, especially when I was in my 20’s. I would make up my mind I was going to hit the next pitch before the ball was thrown back to the pitcher. When I got older, I got smarter.

        • dmoas Jul 9,2014 8:30 pm || Up

          Doesn’t really count when you hit it when the catcher throws it.

        • Jennifer Jul 9,2014 8:33 pm || Up

          You came in like a wrecking ball. Just closed your eyes and swung?

  37. bear88 Jul 9,2014 8:23 pm

    It could have been a lot worse. But the only reason it wasn’t worse is because the bottom half of the Giants lineup can’t hit a fastball, which is the only pitch Hammel can throw for a strike.

  38. James V. Jul 9,2014 8:23 pm

    Could be a Jim Johnson night at some point.

    • AV Jul 9,2014 8:27 pm || Up

      2 runs down in the 4th? A’s got this in the bag.

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • AV Jul 9,2014 8:27 pm || Up

        did i say 2?

        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • Kay Temple Kirk Jul 9,2014 9:24 pm || Up

        I love this. Being down by two feels like being tied.

        \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
        • Kay Temple Kirk Jul 9,2014 9:24 pm || Up

          Being down by one is a lead, pretty much.

          \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
  39. FreeSeatUpgrade Jul 9,2014 8:24 pm

    Don’t worry new guy, we won’t hate you yet! But don’t talk to Jim Johnson any, OK?

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  40. Ben Folds' Nuts Jul 9,2014 8:27 pm

    Krukow and Kuiper seem to now be doing the “Gamer Babe” thing out of spite.

  41. MikeV Jul 9,2014 8:27 pm

    ROCK THE MOTHERFKING VOGT

    And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

    Thanks, and go As.

    • Englishmajor Jul 9,2014 8:28 pm || Up

      I BELIEVE!

      • MikeV Jul 9,2014 8:31 pm || Up

        I BELIEVE THAT

        And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

        Thanks, and go As.

        • Ben Folds' Nuts Jul 9,2014 8:33 pm || Up

          I BELIEVE THAT THE TWO-PARTY SYSTEM IS FLAWED

          • MikeV Jul 9,2014 8:34 pm || Up

            well, obviously. the whole first past the post thing is complete crap.

            And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

            Thanks, and go As.

          • dmoas Jul 9,2014 8:38 pm || Up

            There’s only one party: OUR PARTY!
            There’s only one candidate: STEPHEN!
            There’s only one winner: THE A’S!

            • AV Jul 9,2014 8:40 pm || Up

              sold. where do i vogt?

              *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
        • witchy Jul 9,2014 8:33 pm || Up

          me tooooooooooooooooooooo :P

  42. andeux Jul 9,2014 8:27 pm

    I was into Stephen Vogt before it was cool.
    Just sayin’.

    TINSTAAFK
  43. bear88 Jul 9,2014 8:27 pm

    How long is Vogt going to stay this hot? It’s just ridiculous.

    • doctorK Jul 9,2014 8:29 pm || Up

      I wouldn’t mind if he cools off in 2015.

      • Englishmajor Jul 9,2014 8:30 pm || Up

        Between January 1 and the last week of February.

  44. dmoas Jul 9,2014 8:28 pm

    Too bad Coco wasn’t on.

  45. FreeSeatUpgrade Jul 9,2014 8:28 pm

    Vogt!

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  46. AV Jul 9,2014 8:29 pm

    KK: one man, one vogt.

    *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  47. FreeSeatUpgrade Jul 9,2014 8:30 pm

    It looked like that homer was fielded on the hop on the concourse behind the RF stands by a guy in a Raider jersey who then rared back and threw it back into the ballpark.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • Englishmajor Jul 9,2014 8:32 pm || Up

      He must have thought it was a Giants hitter.

      • Ben Folds' Nuts Jul 9,2014 8:34 pm || Up

        Oh, Raiders fans. They’re adorable for trying.

      • Jennifer Jul 9,2014 8:34 pm || Up

        I wanted it to hit him on the head cartoon style.

    • andeux Jul 9,2014 8:34 pm || Up

      #72 Matuszak

      TINSTAAFK
      • FreeSeatUpgrade Jul 9,2014 8:36 pm || Up

        Awesome, one of the very best, I would totally rock a Tooz jersey.

        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  48. bear88 Jul 9,2014 8:30 pm

    If I’m outside a baseball park and I get a home run ball, I am holding onto it. That guy is probably going to regret his toss of the ball back into the outfield. But I will give him credit for team loyalty.

    • Ben Folds' Nuts Jul 9,2014 8:35 pm || Up

      He’d have kept it if it had been hit by a Raiders hitter.

      • doctorK Jul 9,2014 8:39 pm || Up

        Maybe he was confused by the recent trade. After all, Samardzija is the best receiver currently playing in Oakland.

  49. lenscrafters Jul 9,2014 8:39 pm

    Oh come fking on.

  50. witchy Jul 9,2014 8:40 pm

    please tell me why VC sounds like it’s the most glorious thing in the multiverse when someone hits a(n) HR against us again?

    • Ben Folds' Nuts Jul 9,2014 8:41 pm || Up

      Because he is a man of questionable moral character lacking integrity.

      • witchy Jul 9,2014 8:43 pm || Up

        i need to know MOAR, ben.

        • MikeV Jul 9,2014 8:55 pm || Up

          he sucks at his job.

          And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

          Thanks, and go As.

    • AV Jul 9,2014 8:43 pm || Up

      he doesn’t. ask ed.

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • AV Jul 9,2014 8:44 pm || Up

        i mean he did this time. usually he mumbles them out begrudgingly.

        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • Future Ed Jul 9,2014 8:48 pm || Up

        he does it for the espn teams

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
  51. Ben Folds' Nuts Jul 9,2014 8:40 pm

    And the Giants go up 3-1 on a home run from Ugly Matthew McConnaughey.

    • Ben Folds' Nuts Jul 9,2014 8:42 pm || Up

      McConnaughey proceeds to almost-fall-on-his-face around the bases.

  52. doctorK Jul 9,2014 8:40 pm

    I guess we’re seeing why this guy has never beaten the Gnats.

  53. bear88 Jul 9,2014 8:42 pm

    One of the problems I had with the trade is that Hammel has basically been a mediocre pitcher until this season with the Cubs.

    He looks pretty mediocre tonight.

    • Ben Folds' Nuts Jul 9,2014 8:43 pm || Up

      Yeah, Milone could give up three runs to a punchless offense as well as Hammel.

      • Englishmajor Jul 9,2014 8:51 pm || Up

        Well, not at the moment, because he left the RiverCats game after getting a ball hit hard off his leg.

        • FreeSeatUpgrade Jul 9,2014 8:58 pm || Up

          Ouch, injury on top of insult.

          "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  54. AV Jul 9,2014 8:42 pm

    it’s not the socks going all the way up. it’s that he doesn’t know where to buy matador pants that fit him.

    *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  55. witchy Jul 9,2014 8:43 pm

    no eyeores.

  56. doctorK Jul 9,2014 8:45 pm

    Any idea why Glen and Ray pronounce Morse like “Morris”?

    • AV Jul 9,2014 8:47 pm || Up

      he’s got 9lives?

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  57. lenscrafters Jul 9,2014 8:47 pm

    Really wish Jaso was starting today. Ugh.

    • Future Ed Jul 9,2014 8:49 pm || Up

      yeah, what’s up with that?

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
  58. doctorK Jul 9,2014 8:48 pm

    LOL Rangers

  59. Ben Folds' Nuts Jul 9,2014 8:49 pm

    One of the Giants announcers just said, as the camera showed a small child in Giants gear with his mother, “You’ll figure out eventually, your mother’s a gamer babe. Juuuuuuust give it time.” And with a nice creepy-old-guy chuckle throughout.

    • Future Ed Jul 9,2014 8:50 pm || Up

      I can’t believe the producers haven’t stepped in

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • doctorK Jul 9,2014 8:50 pm || Up

      There is a reason why I listen to our crappy TV guys.

    • James V. Jul 9,2014 8:56 pm || Up

      That’s just wrong.

  60. witchy Jul 9,2014 8:50 pm

    all is well. nothing is fucked.

  61. andeux Jul 9,2014 8:50 pm

    Cain must have hurried the throw because of Callaspo’s speed.

    TINSTAAFK
  62. MikeV Jul 9,2014 8:52 pm

    PITCHERS HITTING! STRATEGY!

    fucking dumb.

    And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

    Thanks, and go As.

  63. lenscrafters Jul 9,2014 8:52 pm

    Let’s go Coco!

  64. Future Ed Jul 9,2014 8:52 pm

    EXCITING!!!

    STRATEGY!!!!

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
  65. andeux Jul 9,2014 8:53 pm

    With Hammel already at 85 pitches anyway, I would not have minded pinch-hitting there.
    (Given the stupid NL rules)

    TINSTAAFK
    • Future Ed Jul 9,2014 8:55 pm || Up

      I hate that, but yeah.

      Also, Cain at 89, the 6th has to be his last

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
      • AV Jul 9,2014 9:14 pm || Up

        have you met his manager yet?

        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  66. doctorK Jul 9,2014 8:57 pm

    I guess for Sandoval, the best shape of his life is spherical.

  67. FreeSeatUpgrade Jul 9,2014 8:59 pm

    Sabean looking a little like an evil Burl Ives there.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • doctorK Jul 9,2014 9:01 pm || Up

      Now I’m imagining a death-metal version of “Have a Holly, Jolly Christmas”.

  68. lenscrafters Jul 9,2014 9:02 pm

    This guy is reminding me too much of Straily.

  69. doctorK Jul 9,2014 9:02 pm

    It’s not asking too much of Hammel to throw strikes to Blanco, amirite?

  70. FreeSeatUpgrade Jul 9,2014 9:04 pm

    Holy crap, that bending thumb looked weird.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • andeux Jul 9,2014 9:05 pm || Up

      What’s your diagnosis?

      TINSTAAFK
      • Jennifer Jul 9,2014 9:08 pm || Up

        Cramp? IDK, I’m double jointed and my thumbs do that anyway.

        • Jennifer Jul 9,2014 9:10 pm || Up

          Thumbs, fingers, and toes, actually.

  71. James V. Jul 9,2014 9:04 pm

    Jason Hammel: successful and healthy with the Cubs, suddenly struggling and hurt with the A’s.

  72. bear88 Jul 9,2014 9:05 pm

    Great. We’ve traded for a bad version of Rich Harden.

  73. Ben Folds' Nuts Jul 9,2014 9:05 pm

    Clearly baseball needs to get rid of injury delays. They slow down the pace of the game. It was a fine idea to experiment with, but they need to go.

  74. bear88 Jul 9,2014 9:06 pm

    Did he hurt his thumb bunting?

  75. Jennifer Jul 9,2014 9:06 pm

    @bear He IS wearing #40.

    • bear88 Jul 9,2014 9:09 pm || Up

      Shouldn’t they just retire that number, at least for pitchers?

  76. FreeSeatUpgrade Jul 9,2014 9:06 pm

    Hammel comes to California and suffers joint failure. How ironic.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  77. Future Ed Jul 9,2014 9:06 pm

    remember Hammel’s 1-2-3 inning?

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
  78. dmoas Jul 9,2014 9:08 pm

    Fucking NL baseball. Based on Norris’ motion whatever happened happened while he was hitting.

    • bear88 Jul 9,2014 9:10 pm || Up

      That was my impression too. There was nothing that happened while he was pitching that inning.

  79. lenscrafters Jul 9,2014 9:09 pm

    Runs please.

  80. dmoas Jul 9,2014 9:11 pm

    This is a fucking long game. Slow as molasses with half the teams a bunch of asses.

    • Future Ed Jul 9,2014 9:14 pm || Up

      the Hammel break and the 10 minute delay in starting doesn’t help

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
  81. Future Ed Jul 9,2014 9:13 pm

    This would be a good time for Donaldson to be awesome again

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
  82. Future Ed Jul 9,2014 9:15 pm

    this would be a good time for Lowrie to be awesome again

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
  83. lenscrafters Jul 9,2014 9:15 pm

    damnit. damnit. damnit.

  84. FreeSeatUpgrade Jul 9,2014 9:16 pm

    Cold iron shackles, ball and chain!

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  85. bear88 Jul 9,2014 9:16 pm

    Donaldson is all screwed up, mechanically and mentally.

    But Lowrie continues hitting.

  86. Future Ed Jul 9,2014 9:17 pm

    that was a terrible at bat by Jaso.

    First he grew his hair out again, second he was batting right handed.

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
  87. Future Ed Jul 9,2014 9:19 pm

    Not as new guy!

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
  88. FreeSeatUpgrade Jul 9,2014 9:20 pm

    The A’s are using La Potencia for a Cespedes promotion, haven’t seen that before. I like.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • Future Ed Jul 9,2014 9:20 pm || Up

      is that a third party shirt, or Athletics incorporated

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
      • FreeSeatUpgrade Jul 9,2014 9:23 pm || Up

        A’s giveaway, so presumably their design or at least final say. Net Suite is the sponsor.

        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
        • Jennifer Jul 9,2014 9:26 pm || Up

          I don’t understand Canadian.

        • Jennifer Jul 9,2014 9:28 pm || Up

          I like the new nerd power shirts in the team store. My boobs would make the glasses look like old time cat eye glasses though.

          • FreeSeatUpgrade Jul 9,2014 9:30 pm || Up

            I am willing to help you test this hypothesis.

            "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
          • James V. Jul 9,2014 9:36 pm || Up

            I wanted to buy one of the Holy Toledo shirts with the logo they used for the patch whichever year that was, and they didn’t even have 2XL available. I usually go for a 3XL but can get by with 2XL. Plain ol’ XL? Hell no.

  89. FreeSeatUpgrade Jul 9,2014 9:20 pm

    We are totally gonna win this game.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  90. Future Ed Jul 9,2014 9:21 pm

    stop giving up baserunners guys

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
  91. Future Ed Jul 9,2014 9:22 pm

    wait, crawford bunting in front of cain?

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
  92. Future Ed Jul 9,2014 9:23 pm

    wait, what?

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • AV Jul 9,2014 9:24 pm || Up

      told. you.

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • AV Jul 9,2014 9:39 pm || Up

        oh. i thought cain batting meant he was pitching still. isn’t that the place when they use a batter when there’s a chance to score? i don’t know. i just don’t get the strategy. i don’t even understand it being called strategy. isn’t it more of an imposed workaround?

        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
        • James V. Jul 9,2014 9:41 pm || Up

          No point in wasting a PH on him when you get the first two on with nobody out, because it’s as perfect a spot as any for the pitcher to bunt.

          Only, Cain couldn’t even do that much.

          • lenscrafters Jul 9,2014 9:44 pm || Up

            It sorta makes sense if you want him to pitch the next inning.

            It makes no sense if you’re bringing in a reliever anyways, as Bochy did.

            • andeux Jul 9,2014 9:46 pm || Up

              Well it could make sense if any pinch-hitter you would bring in is so bad that you would have him bunt anyway.
              I have no idea if that was the case for SF.

              TINSTAAFK
              • dmoas Jul 9,2014 9:48 pm || Up

                They have Nick Punto and Eric Sogard on their bench too???!!!

                • andeux Jul 9,2014 9:49 pm || Up

                  Well, they have Joe Panik in the starting lineup…

                  TINSTAAFK
          • dmoas Jul 9,2014 9:44 pm || Up

            Even more perfect spot for a hitter to hit the ball.

          • AV Jul 9,2014 9:47 pm || Up

            yeah but you already have a guy in scoring position, you need a hit eventually, going about it buntwise seems to waste one chance for that hit to happen. a hit which moves the other runner over anyway, if that’s what you’re trying to bunt for. that’s what i don’t get. it’s like, what’s the real goal in the situation?

            *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
            • James V. Jul 9,2014 9:51 pm || Up

              A bunt in that situation doesn’t require a hit to score a run afterward.

              • dmoas Jul 9,2014 9:51 pm || Up

                And yet it wastes an out.

              • AV Jul 9,2014 9:53 pm || Up

                weak NL! weak i tell you! make better things happen!

                (not you booche. keep the course.)

                *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  93. lenscrafters Jul 9,2014 9:23 pm

    Maybe now the Giants fans can stop whining about how the bounces never go their way.

    • FreeSeatUpgrade Jul 9,2014 9:25 pm || Up

      Yeah, that was a lousy break.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  94. Future Ed Jul 9,2014 9:25 pm

    eric, they are trying to give you an out

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Jul 9,2014 9:26 pm || Up

      He wants to elicit a double play and have Cain strain a hammy on the play.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  95. AV Jul 9,2014 9:26 pm

    this pitch is gonna be embarrassing for one of them.

    *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • AV Jul 9,2014 9:26 pm || Up

      cain.

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  96. andeux Jul 9,2014 9:26 pm

    Real baseball.

    TINSTAAFK
  97. lenscrafters Jul 9,2014 9:26 pm

    NL baseball everyone.

  98. doctorK Jul 9,2014 9:26 pm

    That was a totally wasted AB. Thank you, NL.

  99. James V. Jul 9,2014 9:27 pm

    Matt Cain proves why, once again, pitchers batting is a waste of time.

  100. dmoas Jul 9,2014 9:27 pm

    Why on earth would you let a pitcher try to bunt when you can replace him with a hitter who can… wait for it… hit?

    • Ben Folds' Nuts Jul 9,2014 9:30 pm || Up

      Didn’t want to burn a bench player. Because in the NL, you basically have to have a pinch-hitter ready every inning.

  101. FreeSeatUpgrade Jul 9,2014 9:28 pm

    Argh, Mollaspo’d.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • AV Jul 9,2014 9:29 pm || Up

      i don’t get it.

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • Jennifer Jul 9,2014 9:31 pm || Up

        What is it?

      • FreeSeatUpgrade Jul 9,2014 9:32 pm || Up

        So slow. Seriously, I could have made that play, and I’m slow and old.

        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
        • AV Jul 9,2014 9:33 pm || Up

          explain?

          /running gag

          *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
          • Future Ed Jul 9,2014 9:49 pm || Up

            you.just.blew.my.mind.

            I have $5. No I don\'t.
            • AV Jul 9,2014 10:04 pm || Up

              momentarily couldn’t believe how stupid i was?

              (and then you could?)

              *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  102. Future Ed Jul 9,2014 9:28 pm

    the defense has been exposed.

    2 runs so far today should not have scored

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
  103. doctorK Jul 9,2014 9:28 pm

    Say Ray, how great would it be if we had middle infielders who can field?

  104. andeux Jul 9,2014 9:28 pm

    Speaking of total wastes, Alberto Callaspo’s glove.

    TINSTAAFK
  105. Ben Folds' Nuts Jul 9,2014 9:28 pm

    Oh, I guess that’s what happens when you have two middle infielders with the range of a particularly unmotivated engine block.

  106. bear88 Jul 9,2014 9:28 pm

    Callaspo, ugh.

    This whole game just feels like a much-deserved loss.

  107. Ben Folds' Nuts Jul 9,2014 9:31 pm

    So, I’m about ready for Melvin to start platooning Callaspo and Donaldson at third base.

  108. Ben Folds' Nuts Jul 9,2014 9:33 pm

    Giants announcer on Sandoval: “He could make a lot more fans right here with a base hit.” Yeah, because Giants fans designate their emotions based on what happens on the baseball field, right?

  109. dmoas Jul 9,2014 9:34 pm

    Norris should have tried to throw. Would have nailed the batter and FUCK FUCK FUCK

  110. andeux Jul 9,2014 9:35 pm

    Well, I’ve seen enough for tonight.

    TINSTAAFK
  111. bear88 Jul 9,2014 9:36 pm

    Bad pitching, bad defense. This is how you lose to a slumping team that only has one guy – Pence – who’s doing anything dangerous.

  112. AV Jul 9,2014 9:36 pm

    the background music on the we’ll leave the light on for you commercial always reminds me of this song.

    *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • Ben Folds' Nuts Jul 9,2014 9:38 pm || Up

      You mean Tom Bodett for Motel 6?

      • AV Jul 9,2014 9:40 pm || Up

        i wrote tom modett for botel 6 first and it looked wrong. went with what i knew.

        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  113. lenscrafters Jul 9,2014 9:38 pm

    Callaspo owes us at least a hit here.

  114. Ben Folds' Nuts Jul 9,2014 9:39 pm

    Nick Punto as a pinch-hitter: 0-for-10.

    • FreeSeatUpgrade Jul 9,2014 9:40 pm || Up

      Yeah, the threat off the bench here is underwhelming.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  115. doctorK Jul 9,2014 9:40 pm

    All right – we’re going all-in on the FAIL (that is to say, JJ is pitching next inning).

  116. Jonathan Livingston Smeagol Jul 9,2014 9:40 pm

    Burn the green alts.

    I'm a lady.
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Jul 9,2014 9:45 pm || Up

      Given the disdain they show for the traditional Oakland road greys, they’d end up playing many road games shirtless.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  117. nowBodhi Jul 9,2014 9:40 pm

    OK I am here it is OK to score 7 runs now

    Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
  118. Ben Folds' Nuts Jul 9,2014 9:43 pm

    The worst thing about this game is that the Giants have not pitched well, and we have just been spectacularly unfortunate.

    • Future Ed Jul 9,2014 9:45 pm || Up

      less unfortunate more “bad at baseball”

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
      • Ben Folds' Nuts Jul 9,2014 9:46 pm || Up

        We hit Cain hard all night, and his command was nowhere. It just went right at guys.

        • Future Ed Jul 9,2014 9:50 pm || Up

          sure, but the defense really lost this one. With adequate defense, its 2-2

          I have $5. No I don\'t.
  119. Future Ed Jul 9,2014 9:44 pm

    the A’s don’t have a 1-2-3 inning

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • doctorK Jul 9,2014 9:47 pm || Up

      Never fear – JJ’s here (to ensure that streak continues)

      • Ben Folds' Nuts Jul 9,2014 9:51 pm || Up

        Ahem.

      • doctorK Jul 9,2014 9:51 pm || Up

        (never fails)

        • dmoas Jul 9,2014 9:53 pm || Up

          We’re not only not going come back and take the lead this inning, we’re going to go down meekly one two three.

  120. bear88 Jul 9,2014 9:47 pm

    The A’s have gotten into a bad habit of sucking at Phone Company Park.

    Tomorrow, they have to face Tim Hudson, who hasn’t been quite as good lately but is still awfully good – and Tim Hudson against the A’s.

    And then the Mariners, a team that’s arranged everything just so their best three starters can face the A’s while the Angels play the horrific Rangers.

    • Future Ed Jul 9,2014 9:50 pm || Up

      this is really annoying

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
  121. Jonathan Livingston Smeagol Jul 9,2014 9:50 pm

    Baseball is dumb.

    I'm a lady.
    • Future Ed Jul 9,2014 9:52 pm || Up

      they went to the green alt well one too many times

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
  122. lenscrafters Jul 9,2014 9:51 pm

    I still think we can win this one…

    • Future Ed Jul 9,2014 9:52 pm || Up

      get a run or two off Romo, yeah

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • bear88 Jul 9,2014 9:55 pm || Up

      I do too, or I wouldn’t be watching. It’s just been poorly played, and I am spoiled. And I hate losing to the Giants, and the Angels won, and the Mariners are apparently going to have a bunch of relievers pitch tomorrow just so Felix can pitch against the A’s. That seems pretty dumb.

  123. Future Ed Jul 9,2014 9:54 pm

    this is dumb.

    This can be fixed by rule

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • Future Ed Jul 9,2014 9:55 pm || Up

      like the leadoff hitter has to be “entered” into the game before the pitcher throws 3 pitches

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
      • dmoas Jul 9,2014 9:59 pm || Up

        Any pitcher who takes warm ups must pitch to at least one batter regardless of offensive changes.

  124. Ben Folds' Nuts Jul 9,2014 9:57 pm

    Losing to a bad team playing badly is really annoying.

  125. Future Ed Jul 9,2014 9:58 pm

    Yoenis, you owe us a run

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
  126. Ben Folds' Nuts Jul 9,2014 9:59 pm

    How many bad pitches are we going to swing at in this inning?

  127. Englishmajor Jul 9,2014 10:00 pm

    Twins fans are having to stay up late too.

  128. mikeA Jul 9,2014 11:49 pm

    I am biased, yes, but I’ve been to a lot of different parks, and there’s only one where a huge percentage of the home fans act like ridiculous cretins (haven’t been to Boston for awhile.)These people… these are not my kind of people…
    It appears they employ like 30 blond (every single one of them are blond) 15-29 year old females in hideous colors to just smile and waive during the inning breaks.

    We need a 2B or SS, poor O’Flaherty.

    That pitch to Pence was the worst pitch of the season.

    Fuck the Giants.

    Weird thing happened before the game. They started announcing the A’s lineup and putting it up on the scoreboard. When they announced Vogt second, they put “Bartolo Colon P” up on the scoreboard, then quickly took the whole lineup off the scoreboard while they read it.

    • Future Ed Jul 10,2014 6:01 am || Up

      he was #40 last year

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
      • Future Ed Jul 10,2014 6:02 am || Up

        and 23 in 2012

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
        • FreeSeatUpgrade Jul 10,2014 9:08 am || Up

          And about 290 in 2014, give or take a few pounds.

          "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
        • James V. Jul 10,2014 9:13 am || Up

          Colon has never worn 23. Actually did wear 21 in 2012, though.

  129. Ben Folds' Nuts Jul 10,2014 2:19 am

    I am officially ready for the era of the Donaldson/Callaspo third base platoon. Sogard and Punto would platoon at second base. Lowrie would have surgery performed on his fuckin-move-faster muscle.

  130. Future Ed Jul 10,2014 6:31 am

    Hammel was bad. I think he was 0-2 or 1-2 on at least half the guys that go on.

    the need for a SS/2b is great. this game is winnable with that addition.

    Where was Jaso? did we get an explanation as to why Jaso was out and norris in? Is it the day game after a night game thing?

    Sometimes, yoenis, its best to let the guy get to third

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • Future Ed Jul 10,2014 7:12 am || Up

      now that I am thinking about it, Vogt is also a lefty batter

      I suppose Felix Iwakuma, young and Elias are all righties, so Norris has to play sometimes, I wish we waited fo teh DH to get him more at bats

      I have $5. No I don\'t.

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