As inspired by the classic Gordon Lightfoot story song.
The legend lives on from Steve Vucinich on down
In the big park they call Glitchy Gloomy
The team, it is said, often gives up for dead
When the deals of December turn loony
With a load of signed scores twenty-five salaries more
Than the Athletics Payroll weighed empty
That good ship and true was a bone to be chewed
When the deals of December came early
The ship was the dream of the American League
Put together in Farhan’s mom’s basement
As the SABR nerds know, it was better than most
Value well o’er most others’ replacement
Discussing some schemes with a couple of ball teams
When they left fully loaded last season
Then for cover they dove, round the winter hot stove
Could a cold Billy wind be the reason?
The fast Twitter wires lit a tattle-tale fire
When the trades broke over the railing
And every man knew, as the captain did too
‘Twas the bitch of December come dealin’
The dawn came late and Donaldson was bait
For a gimp and some punk named Barreto
When afternoon came it was more of the same
Spinning Moss for some dreck they’ll soon let go
When suppertime came, the old Vuc came on deck
Sayin’ “How the fuck do you spell Phegley”
At seven PM a main roster caved in
He said, “We’re switching to Dry Erase jerseys”
The captain wired in he had Padres comin’ in
And the good ship and crew had lost DeNo
And later that night as they sank out of sight
Came the wreck of the Athletics Payroll
Does anyone know where the loyal fan goes
When the trades turn the roster to full scrub?
The scalpers all say they all quit on the day
Of the fan-glutted market on Stub Hub
The team might have stocked up or they might have re-sized
They may have broke strong and add hitters
But all that remains are the faces and the names
Of a team of unknowns in the shitter
In a musty old hall in Oakland they prayed
In the Derelict Concrete Cathedral
The church bell chimed ’til it rang twenty-five times
For each man on the Athletics Payroll
The legend lives on from Steve Vucinich on down
In the big park they call Glitchy Gloomy
The team, it is said, often gives up for dead
When the deals of December turn loony
Excellent.
Do quit your day job.
I can feel the Canadian…good stuff, FSU.
This is fantastic.
The other day, I started writing down in how many strange ways baseball directly or indirectly made my life richer. I don’t even know how I could start to describe this.
As a kid baseball helped me learn math, history, and how awesome Rickey Henderson was.
why did you say the same thing three times
Excellent. My favorite 11/10 tradition is sending videos about Big Fitz to a friend who has that birthday. Now I may have to send him this.
Really neat to read this while listening to the original.
Very cool how much of A’s poetry and literature seems to relate to maritime pursuits… and the Seattle Pilots we are not!
Awesome, FSU.
quite good
the only downside of this is that it won’t fit on my tombstone
But you can remix it, boost the bass and upload it in FLAC.
I can’t decide whether to give you a standing O or just cry softly in the fetal position. Very nice work.
More than six years late: this was (and still is) awesome.