The Infected Schlong is okay, folks. Still infected. Still slinging pies.
I hope our Reno friends are having fun and remain safe. I also hope someone finally Pearl Harbors Mike while he is there.
159 thoughts on “07/27/12 Lounge: The Money Shot”
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Do you ever decline a Words With Friends request because the person requesting the game is just so FKing bad at the game? Seriously, the last time I played her, I won by over 200 points. And I’m not very good.
Answer: No. Never played WWF.
Next question.
Timmy, have you ever seen a grown man naked?
I had to google that to know what you were talking about.
Timmy, have you ever been in a Turkish prison?
Liar, I know you’ve wrestled Hulk Hogan back in the day.
Also:
HOLY CRAP. I was going to joke that I used to wrestle under the name Luna Vachon. So I google her to make sure I have the name correct. I do. But the interesting thing is her REAL name is Gertrude!
Maybe they should change their name to P-Mobile?
At the beginning of the year, Boss 2 told me I wouldn’t have hours when I started back at school in August.
Boss 1 tells me a few weeks later I would have hours and I could work as a nurse, too.
In May, Boss 1 tells me I can’t work as a nurse.
A few days ago, Boss 1 tells me to sign up for a class at work FOR NURSES.
I go to speak with Boss 2 today, and she tells me to bring my license in and I can do nursey things at work. I told her this was the exact opposite of what Boss 1 said. I am confused as hell.
Fuck ’em both. Show up, work as a nurse, frequently tell others to kiss your ass.
That’s sweet.
That’s me, sugar and spice and everything nice.
Sadly, as badass as that would make me, I need training on the IV pumps and the nurse’s computer system, and the medication cabinets.
Remember this phrase: “Bitch, show me how to use this.”
You know, I have to show some of the nurses where supplies are in the ER, and I have to tell them what supplies each doctor will need for certain procedures. Now I can do the fun stuff!
There should be rules about what you’re allowed to eat before getting on an airplane. If it gives you gas, it’s not an appropriate meal when you’re going to be spending 4 hours in an enclosed metal tube with 150 other people.
I start getting realll antsy at around 2 hours in a plane… okay, a car, too. Oddly, I had a dream about the airport last night. I was in a car with 3 dead relatives, and my living aunt. I got lost driving them to the airport.
Don’t ever get stuck at Kansas City’s airport. Unlike EVERY OTHER AIRPORT IN THE WORLD, KCI has all the fun stuff BEFORE the security check point. They have one snack stand per section, and it isn’t the best.
Charleston doesn’t have any fun stuff in the airport, before OR after security.
The nice thing about KC, though, is you can go through security in 15 minutes on a good day.
BTW, I just looked up some of the themes in my last dream, and it said,
“To see an airport in your dream symbolizes birth (arrivals) and death (departures).” So I’m guessing my living aunt is going to die, since she was in the car with her dead mother, dead aunt, and dead husband.
You were in that car too.
Wow, thanks Debbie Downer.
Any time.
Anybody else suddenly got a craving for a Filet O’ Fish?
I’ve never had a Filet O’Fish either. I’ve had a fish sandwich at Sonic, though. They have them during Lent. I don’t order it much, because I can’t say the words “fish” and “sandwich” when they are put together.
Really? What do you say? Burger of the sea? Swimming thing encased in bread? Blwegowianrv?
Fish combo with no fries. LOL
Ha!
“Metaphorically, driving a car in your dream is analogous to your sex life and sexual performance. Consider how you are driving and what kind of car you are driving and how it relates to your waking sex life.”
Well, now it’s just sad.
I know how to fix cars. Just sayin.
It was a 1908s tan Buick Skylark.
That is what I think of myself. I can’t even be a fabulous Lamborghini in my dreams. LOL!
So… you want to fuck your aunt to death? You’re one sick fuck, Gertie.
After more reading, my dream basically meant I don’t know where my future is going, I am uncertain, my goals are changing, and I am confused. Sounds about right.
This is why I never plan anything beyond my next meal.
Same. This is also why I am fat.
Damn, that explains a lot about my gut.
Same.
Also, I found a photo of myself online. Not sure who took it.
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m79vlfVLnx1rbvs0mo1_r1_1280.jpg
And you said I wasn’t cat-like. Pfft.
I have a deer-in-the-headlights look.
Whenever I used to drive a car in my dreams, I would crash it and die.
One time I had a dream about tater tots and Nick Swisher. Poppy analysed me on **.
Hanley
Sob
So the Doyers got Hanley, and the Gnats got Scutaro.
It’s close, but I think maybe LA got the better of the two deals.
Well sure, if you’re gonna define “better” as “got the more talented player.” You’re such a conformist.
Also, BOOBIES!
Jeff mathis has a 826 ops this year.
that’s just sick and wrong.
Plus, he’s a closer now too, apparently!
But a 9.00 ERA.
HanRam homers off of Romo, Tolleson gets his first win, Gnats lose!
Just say no to vertical videos.
Jason Kendall RIP
2 games, 3 PA.
Sulk off
Face tag
Hall of Fame
AV bait — I’m still expecting the album to be disappointing, but those tshirts look pretty rad.
DAMMIT. there goes my moneys.
No kidding. This month has been brutally expensive. Plus, my gf just handed in a resignation letter at her job, which is a positive development overall but not so compatible with high levels of music spending.
car shirt or cosmic unconsciousness? i think car.
I went with cosmic unconsciousness. It would have been even better if it was the same image, but just said “plate of shrimp”.
i’d get like three of those.
MLB.com FREE TV game tonight! Wooooo! What has gotten into MLB.com? That’s like three this month!
ESPN told MLB the A’s were exciting to watch!
So, I went to a local event the other night, which is something I don’t do often. Anyway, it was a meeting in the back room of a restaurant, and right away, like right off the FKing bat, I saw my best friend’s mother and two ex-girlfriends. Except, it had been many years since I’d seen any of them or they me, and I weigh about 40 less pounds now and present femme. I used to crossdress back then, so I was surprised none of them recogniz(s)ed me at all. It took me about an hour to make enough observations of these people to realiz(s)e that they were only 98% doppelgangers of the people I used to know. I mean, these people had the same mannerisms, glasses and hair styles, body types, and even some of the same piercings. It was kinda creepy and threw me off balance.
the above might be NSFW. Probably not, but still.
interesting, but the self reporting stuff doesn”t really scratch the surface.
It can’t. How deeply can a sociopath peel his own onion? Not far enough to get to the empathy layer.
am thoroughly enjoying the fashions of the parade — liking the czech umbrellas and galoshes (??), fijian skirts, and thinking of the germans as boy and girl pegs in the game of life.
overall, i’m pro the sporty as done by algeria but not argentina, the preppy as done by the netherlands but not the united states (the hats…), and the typical as done by senegal but not mexico. the WTF category has strong showings too, with england, spain, estonia, and finland.
Hmm…
I think I’m on the other end of the spectrum. The economic boondoggle and fascist brand protection leave a bad taste in my mouth, just like nationalistic pageantry does. The IOC is old and crooked and needs to go, along with FIFA and the NCAA.
fine. but if we go that route, can we at least start with things that matter? united nations, i’m looking at you.
UN matters more than FIFA?
I love how Germany was like FK it yellow and red is ugly, let’s go pink and light blue. Czech Republic was my clear favorite. Rain boots, tunic tops, paint splatter shorts–I love that they had a little fun with it! I don’t know what the UK was thinking, but it was cuh-razy awesome.
agree on czech, not on britain.
seconded
Next year the US team should just wear Boathouse jackets.
Naked. Show the world they have nothing to hide.
I’m all in for Paraguay
yes, and we all know which pair in particular…
and wow donald a. perry.
when he said “unfortunately not starting tonight as a”
I thought he meant he has been traded
If they traded him now, it would confirm every conspiracy theory about Wolff trying to sabotage the team and kill attendance.
I hate this Olympic coverage. The internet is one giant spoiler.
Would it kill NBC to air the most popular events LIVE?!?
Yes. It likely would.
Their coverage has always been shitty. Try being on the west coast, it’s even worse.
You cannot go anywher on the internet without a spoiler being chucked out. It’s like someone at Christmas shouting out what presents you got while everyone is still eating dinner. I don’t know whether or not to be excited or pissed.
It’s got to hurt their ratings. But apparently after years of doing it, they still don’t care.
I can’t even get loggen in to their website to watch it live. I had to watch some shitty Telemundo feed.
Could be a prelude to that Suzuki-Escobar trade we were talking about.
that would be nice
Kinda doesn’t make sense otherwise.
Year?
Aw. It’s awesome how they’re both trying to help up Suzuki’s trade value.
heh
It’s good for everybody involved, except for Zookdall.
He catch ball. He throw ball.
Bullshit. I can’t believe that a number of teams are interested in Suzuki and yet he hasn’t been traded.
{Googles who is George Kottaras.}
He’s the best knuckleball catcher in the MLB. So, Crisp is being converted to pitcher?
Overheard on SF-bound bart:
“did the giants win last night?”
“no, manny ramirez hit a home run in the 11th and the giants lost 6-5”
So close!
lol
Nice, I really want Los Doyers to kick some serious arse so a good chunk of my friends can become respectable and reasonable again, they act like its some dynasty or something.
It was HanRam off of Romo fwiw, I think it was the only homer he’s given up this year so far.
Was at the HOF today. One of my favorite parts was that the Matt Cain perfect game display had a teeny picture of him and a HUGE picture of Timmeh. Because not even the Hall cares about Cain.
Also too, loved the Rickey stuff.
When the HOF exhibit came to the Oakland Museum Rickey came to see it, and Rickey stood in line with the rest of us waiting to get in, and Rickey was loved for it by the crowd.
Giants v Dodgers now featuring Scutaro v Ellie. Weird.
Ugh.
Is Zito under contract next year too?
This makes me happy.
OH HALE! Those are some giant feet.
Yeah, they were doing laughing exercises as part of the tests for him.
I was thinking about updating my iMac at home to Mountain Lion today, but I read the extensive Ars Technica review today while waiting on stuff in lab and now I think I’m just going to keep running Snow Leopard until my computer craps out and I buy a linux box (and the review is very positive).
Yeah, not making the move, aside from the cloud – which I’m still not sold on security-wise ( lost/hacked phone- all my files available, no thanks), I don’t really see what’s new?
My only regret is Chrome has stopped upgrades for snow kitty.
I actively dislike the movement in the direction of making files something interior to applications. It sounds cool to have automatic saving and versioning for everything, but then the file is no longer a simple thing that can be easily messed with and manipulated. I guess this is only true for files created by applications that buy into the idea and use the APIs provided by apple. Maybe I’m talking myself down from my state of distrust… I don’t know.
I’m sick of the shitty trending towards excessive GUIs. It makes it functionally inferior when it provides no backbone for functional/programmable customization, but the attitude is “Look, it’s pretty! And it’s so easy it can’t do anything we didn’t explicitly design it to do so it’s ‘better’!” I’m being forced to use a new software for work like that. And a recent conversation with the software support guy could be condensed to “We don’t want you to try to do anything with our product that it wasn’t designed to do so instead of setting something up once to be repeated over and over again (which such functionality doesn’t natively exist) it’s “better” to write each question/part over and over and over again. In a GUI. With a fucking shit ton of point-and-click. Better.
Well to be fair ever since Apple acquired the Xerox (icon?) tech way back pretty intuitive GUI has been the key to their success.
My problem isn’t with GUI in general. It has it’s place and it’s a HUGE advancement for tech. My problem is the laziness of reliance solely on the GUI alone. Everything should have a command line based underbelly that (hopefully) only a developer would ever need. But in the specific case I was referring to, we’re talking about a program *for* programmers that has zero scripting-based functions. It has “scripting” but, no macro/loop/repeat functionality for programs. You have to set of every element as a unique piece. So you can’t development real templates and all changes need to be done at a micro level, manually.
Auto-save been useful in applications like Open Office and Gmail.
I would never want this to happen w/ any music recording applications or design programs where file separation is essential.
Currently the user base for better or for worse expects a new product annually, aside from Siri most of the updates just seem to be commercial rebranding of the same products.
me:
(apparently) you:
;)
HA!
Now I’m coming around and thinking that maybe I will upgrade. I’ve had a lot of time to think about my operating system, because I have spent my afternoon doing: 1. set heater voltage; 2. wait for temperature to stabilize; 3. make note in the log; 4. go to 1.
i upgraded mainly so that i can use ibooks author, which i couldn’t with my OS because i was a whole OS behind. am amused by the new stuff, and am treating it like a new $20 toy that slightly affects my work (on that front, i’m already using reminders that sync phone-to-comp). but i agree with you guys about wanting to be able to touch my files separately, and i do that anyway.
What calmed me down is that I realized that the things I do on my mac desktop at home are completely different from what I do with my linux laptop at work. So if I think only about the stuff I actually use my mac for, there is unlikely to be any disruption.
…and I like new things too.
and that quickly, seeing the info board at the pool that said a mile is 50 lengths not the 50 laps i actually did, becomes the second most interesting news of my day.
susan sussler is supposed to be on 95.7 the ghame around 2:45.
Wait, so that means you did 2 miles thinking you were doing one? That sentence confuses me.
indeed.
2 miles?
what strange pool is that?
the very lovely, park-side lions pool in oakland. it’s 35 yards (??) long. i’m used to this regular 25-meter pool. so when i got in yesterday i noticed it was different and i asked the lifeguard how long it was. she said she didn’t know but that 50 laps was a mile. i’m not good at head math so i just took her word for it and started swimming. i did notice it was taking an awful long time for the mile but i figured i was just swimming slow. when i was leaving, there was a handwritten sign in the entrance that said a mile was 50 lengths. it’s not totally out of my range, on a long workout i’ll swim 3000 meters, but this was just a funny surprise. i immediately sought a suadero (beef brisket) torta and a half liter of coke.
good for you.
out of curiosity – how long do you need for 2 miles? you swim freestyle?
it was like 1:30 or 1:45 but i didn’t really check. i was going slow and i take breathers every 5 laps. 5 breast, 35 crawl, 10 back.
Just another Saturday night in EC’s sexlife.
that made me laugh out loud, literally.
still, that’s pretty good
From CSN
1. Coco Crisp (S) CF
2. Jemile Weeks (S) 2B
3. Seth Smith (L) RF
4. Yoenis Cespedes (R) LF
5. Chris Carter (R) DH
6. Brandon Moss (L) 1B
7. Brandon Inge (R) 3B
8. Kurt Suzuki (R) C
9. Eric Sogard (L) SS
Jemile in the 2 spot, Lets hope Kurk gets 2 HR’s!
That’s nice. They’re spreading the suck around.
Doyers 4 : Gigantes 0
Make that 10-0.
We win today our record is tied.
susslu on radio, paraphrased: from what i can tell suzuki is staying. very little said officially about plans for anyone. reddick was running around the clubhouse wearing a spideman costume. beane is certainly still looking.
Beane is still looking for Reddick? Man, he’d KILL at hide and seek!
i set ’em up, you knock ’em down.
Whoomp!! (there it is)
Are we talking about love on a cellular banana?
ouch. no!
Is the Kottaras trade official? Or just a rumor?
nearly there.
Im just not getting this. I guess he is a better bat than the suck we gave been sending up there, but unless we are just giving back a bucket of BP balls it has to go with another move, right?
He has crappy traditional stats but look here –
.352 wOBA
122 wRC+
.151 ISO
25% BB / 20.7% K
.409 OBP
.8 WAR
He doesn’t totally suck, he also hit 22 HR’s in AAA in 2008 but not sure w/ the park ratings were like.
These are 2012/ 116 PA*, but asides from the walk rate not terribly out of line than previous seasons
lol… Josh Hamilton is booed.
…”fans”.
I’m amused at how the Cespedes commercial has him in full uniform, mid-afternoon. Plus times in the background show 2:59 & 3:03.
If you ever wondered how Tim McCarver won that Ford C. Frick broadcasting award Bill King can’t seem to get a sniff of, now you know:
Is there a super mega multi face palm available somewhere on the interwebz? Perhaps the whole world doing it at once?
This’ll do. Very large, so resized.
Perfect. Well, nearly so. Had the collage of images been shaped to form a facepalm it would have been perfect. But very good.
kidding? my sarcasam guage is broken today..
You have to squint a bit, but it does all come together into the Picard face-palm.
Speechless, who helps him tie his shoes?
Joe Buck.
YESPEDES!!!!
DRILLED! (for real)