Game 77: Texas is too FKing hot ← FREE KRAUT!

Game 77: Texas is too FKing hot 316

Weather in Arlington.

Lineup:

 

316 thoughts on “Game 77: Texas is too FKing hot

  1. nobody in particular Jun 28,2012 4:28 pm

    Only 97? It was 108 in STL today, with temperatures dropping to a brisk 103 for the weekend.

    Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
    • SPWC Jun 28,2012 4:31 pm || Up

      108 isn’t bad if the low is 68, which I doubt it would be in that part of the country.

      \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
    • beebo Jun 28,2012 4:37 pm || Up

      Oof. It’s in the 90s here. Thankfully the humidity has lifted, for now.

  2. colin Jun 28,2012 4:31 pm

    I just looked at the probable pitchers for this series. We’re seriously throwing Ross, Griffin, Milone, and Blackley for a four game series against Texas?

    • SPWC Jun 28,2012 4:33 pm || Up

      I dunno… A couple of those guys ain’t bad.

      Plus, the A’s should score some runs. I’m thinking split.

      \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
    • dmoas Jun 28,2012 4:37 pm || Up

      You do understand that that’s 4 of the 5 guys in our rotation. Subbing the 5th guy probably doesn’t help us much.

    • doctorK Jun 28,2012 4:39 pm || Up

      I guess Melvin is pretty wise in keeping an extra reliever on the roster for now.

    • JamesV Jun 28,2012 5:09 pm || Up

      We’re throwing those guys four out of every five games at the moment, yes.

    • lenscrafters Jun 28,2012 5:16 pm || Up

      Blackley’s actually been pretty good this year.

      • andeux Jun 28,2012 5:21 pm || Up

        I noticed in his stats at fangraphs that he’s throwing a lot harder than in his previous (very brief) stints in the majors.

        TINSTAAFK
      • JamesV Jun 28,2012 5:26 pm || Up

        I know he’s likely a short-timer here overall but there’s a part of me that’s very happy to see him finally pitching with a bit of success in the bigs. I’ve seen him in the minors before and he seemed like a decent guy but I guess he’s had a lot of injury (and performance, obviously) issues.

    • ozzman99 Jun 28,2012 5:31 pm || Up

      But they’re shopping FUUUU. So that’s good news.

      • SPWC Jun 28,2012 5:33 pm || Up

        shopping?

        can’t they just drive him out into the country and ditch him?

        \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
        • ozzman99 Jun 28,2012 5:35 pm || Up

          They’d probably get more for him that way, if they stopped for a milkshake on the way back. But what if he has a dog’s ability to find his way home again?

      • lenscrafters Jun 28,2012 5:38 pm || Up

        To be fair, FUUUUUU probably should’ve been shopped from the moment the ink dried on his contract.

        • ozzman99 Jun 28,2012 5:39 pm || Up

          Or just not signed at all. Seriously, they always have plenty of in-house bullpen options.

  3. Englishmajor Jun 28,2012 4:35 pm

    I just watched All A’s, which I usually don’t bother with. I should. It’s a good show. This edition had a nice little piece with Reddick visiting science fair kids and a bunch of Raiders players trying to reorient themselves to the baseball layout.

    • beebo Jun 28,2012 4:43 pm || Up

      The promos for Josh Reddick at Chabot Space and Science Center brought this to mind:

      • SPWC Jun 28,2012 4:46 pm || Up

        OMG, they turned Ned Colletti into a dog!

        \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
    • SPWC Jun 28,2012 4:44 pm || Up

      I wanna watch A’s After Dark, where Josh Reddick shows us his mouthpiece collection and freezer full of obscure Canadian branded popsicles, and Cespedes tries stripping at a Ladies’ Night in some seedy club in Stockton.

      \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
      • Englishmajor Jun 28,2012 4:46 pm || Up

        The Comcast Sports Gray Area of FK’s collective consciousness would be fun to watch.

  4. lenscrafters Jun 28,2012 5:08 pm

    Hm. I’m keeping my expectations low for this one.

  5. Englishmajor Jun 28,2012 5:13 pm

    Scientist, no. Home run hitter, yes!

  6. nevermoor Jun 28,2012 5:17 pm

    Given that the Rangers are going to win today, I hope the damage is done by players relevant to my fantasy teams (Napoli, Andrus)

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  7. lenscrafters Jun 28,2012 5:18 pm

    Ross is so bad that even Wash isn’t bunting with his number 2 hitter.

  8. Englishmajor Jun 28,2012 5:41 pm

    I dropped a small tempered glass bowl on the kitchen floor this morning and was just amazed at how many pieces it broke into, and how far they scattered. Thought I’d got them all by sweeping. I just found another shard – by stepping on it, of course. Now I think I’ll vacuum to find any missing bits, then mop up the bloodstains.

    • ozzman99 Jun 28,2012 5:48 pm || Up

      Oh shit, I hope you’re ok. Well, you’re obviously ok enough to FK about it.

      • Englishmajor Jun 28,2012 5:55 pm || Up

        I was surprised at how much blood came out of a tiny and shallow cut. It stopped pretty quickly, though. It’s really reminding me to think about if there were so many pieces from one smallish bowl, how much more would be on the floor after everything breakable in the kitchen fell down during a quake. I hate wearing shoes, so I usually take them off by the front door, but I really need to be sure I have some under my bed as we’re all supposed to do.

        • ozzman99 Jun 28,2012 5:57 pm || Up

          You should definitely vacuum the entire area, even if it’s farther than you think a shard would travel. If it’s with the drop spot’s line of sight, vacuum.

          • lenscrafters Jun 28,2012 6:00 pm || Up

            Might want to look into using duct tape too. Glass in carpet is no joke.

            • Englishmajor Jun 28,2012 6:03 pm || Up

              No carpet, just vinyl and wood in the adjoining room. But duct tape is good for everything!

              • ozzman99 Jun 28,2012 6:04 pm || Up

                Will it damage the finish on your wood floors?

              • Englishmajor Jun 28,2012 6:05 pm || Up

              • lenscrafters Jun 28,2012 6:07 pm || Up

                Ah, read the thread LC

                • Englishmajor Jun 28,2012 6:11 pm || Up

                  It was a perfectly reasonable hypothesis, given the percentage of American households that have carpet in them. I have no idea what that percentage is, of course….

                • ozzman99 Jun 28,2012 6:13 pm || Up

                  Our home is tile and wood, although we do have a number of rugs as well.

        • ozzman99 Jun 28,2012 5:58 pm || Up

          Also, if there were an earthquake large enough to break everything in your kitchen, shards would be the least of your worries.

          • Englishmajor Jun 28,2012 6:01 pm || Up

            Well, yeah, but there’s no way to get out of the house (to turn off the gas, for example) without going through the kitchen.

            • ozzman99 Jun 28,2012 6:03 pm || Up

              Oh. Then yeah, keep some shoes under the bed.

        • Jennifer Jun 28,2012 7:37 pm || Up

          Make sure your tetanus is up to date!

          • Englishmajor Jun 28,2012 7:43 pm || Up

            It is, from when my cat bit me last year.

          • Kylianna Jun 28,2012 8:20 pm || Up

            This is what I need to do, so bad.

            It’s been about 20 years since my last tetanus shot, and I work with rusty metal on a regular basis.

            One of my bosses is convinced I died years ago and I’m a ghost.

            • colin Jun 29,2012 4:51 am || Up

              Huh. It definitely sounds like you should be getting regular tetanus shots. They aren’t so bad, just a sore arm for one day…

              • Kylianna Jun 29,2012 10:56 pm || Up

                I’m lazy. And when I got Gardassil, I lost use of my arm for almost a week which… is not an option in my line of work. So I want to time my tetanus shot properly, which. Again. Lazy.

    • the dogfather Jun 29,2012 9:16 am || Up

      That’s how I find dogshit!

      The meaning of life is not so much found, as it is Made. -- Opus
  9. nevermoor Jun 28,2012 5:45 pm

    BRAWNDON!

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  10. Englishmajor Jun 28,2012 5:46 pm

    Brawny!

  11. beebo Jun 28,2012 5:46 pm

    ERMAHGERD DEREK NORRIS

  12. lenscrafters Jun 28,2012 5:46 pm

    Wow that was crushed!

    • Englishmajor Jun 28,2012 5:47 pm || Up

      WHICH ONE?!?!?!?!!!

      • lenscrafters Jun 28,2012 5:49 pm || Up

        Heh! Norris’s, but I suppose Pennington’s drive was “crushed” relative to Pennington’s usual drives.

  13. beebo Jun 28,2012 5:48 pm

    Splashed into someone’s beer, I hope!

  14. Englishmajor Jun 28,2012 5:49 pm

    I love the stunned silence of the Texas crowd.

  15. ozzman99 Jun 28,2012 5:49 pm

    The more Norris plays, the less I want Suzuki around. I didn’t know that was possible.

    • beebo Jun 28,2012 5:50 pm || Up

      The Hatteberg Effectâ„¢

      • ozzman99 Jun 28,2012 5:54 pm || Up

        What’s the difference between trademark and copyright?

        • beebo Jun 28,2012 5:58 pm || Up

          I’m waiting for the trademark to be approved.

          • ozzman99 Jun 28,2012 5:59 pm || Up

            No, I really don’t know.

            • beebo Jun 28,2012 6:07 pm || Up

              Maybe the law-talking guys here can correct me, but from what I remember from an old project, copyright is for intellectual property on a general level, trademarks are for distinguishing products/slogans/logos that are associated with specific entities.

              So much for being facetious tonight!

              • ozzman99 Jun 28,2012 6:09 pm || Up

                Ah.

                And facetiousness will not be tolerated here. Please keep it to yourself, or use where it’s appropriate and accepted. Like on funeral home message board, or HH.

                • beebo Jun 28,2012 6:15 pm || Up

                  Damn it, banned again!

                • ozzman99 Jun 28,2012 6:23 pm || Up

                  We’re FK. We don’t ban, we come to your house in the middle of the night and kill you. And by kill, I mean we mercilessly make fun of your haircut.

                • beebo Jun 28,2012 6:27 pm || Up

                  ANYTHING BUT THAT.

                • ozzman99 Jun 28,2012 6:33 pm || Up

                  Then you must bring us… a shrubbery!

    • nevermoor Jun 28,2012 5:58 pm || Up

      Suzuki plays the important role of Norris’ leg guard

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  16. lenscrafters Jun 28,2012 5:50 pm

    When was the last time our 8 and 9 batters went back to back?

  17. ozzman99 Jun 28,2012 5:54 pm

    FKing jalapeno and blue cheese mac. FK yeah.

    • SPWC Jun 28,2012 6:35 pm || Up

      that sounds pretty damn good, doc.

      \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
      • ozzman99 Jun 28,2012 6:37 pm || Up

        It was so good, I ordered a side of it to go.

  18. ozzman99 Jun 28,2012 6:03 pm

    You know, Feldman is probably sitting in that dugout thinking, “FKing scouts said these guys can’t hit.”

  19. ozzman99 Jun 28,2012 6:14 pm

    Thank you, Amanda McCarthy.

    • beebo Jun 28,2012 6:20 pm || Up

      She’s married to a woman now? Cool.

      • ozzman99 Jun 28,2012 6:23 pm || Up

        TExas is very progressive, didn’t you know?

    • DFA Jun 28,2012 6:37 pm || Up

      i approve of the seethroughness of that shirt.

      In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
      • ozzman99 Jun 28,2012 6:38 pm || Up

        As do I.

      • SPWC Jun 28,2012 6:45 pm || Up

        meh. she’s wearing a padded shaper bra. Not even a hint of nipple.

        \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
        • ozzman99 Jun 28,2012 6:50 pm || Up

          I’ll take what I can get. When I was 12, that photo would’ve been guaranteed insta-boner.

        • Dial C for Concupiscence Jun 28,2012 9:35 pm || Up

          My eyes would’ve probably still lingered too long there if I saw her in person.

          • ozzman99 Jun 29,2012 6:15 am || Up

            That’s completely untrue in my case. There would be no “probably” about it.

  20. FreeSeatUpgrade Jun 28,2012 6:19 pm

    Warriors take Harrison Barnes at #7! Fantastic for them that he dropped that far. I think Barnes is the best Carolina pro prospect in awhile.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  21. ozzman99 Jun 28,2012 6:32 pm

    I just watched the replays of the HR’s. What was Fosse talking about when he said Melvin didn’t have to say anything to Ron Washington, after Reddick’s HR?

    • DFA Jun 28,2012 6:37 pm || Up

      I was very confused about that as well.

      In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
      • ozzman99 Jun 28,2012 6:38 pm || Up

        I’m guessing that Wash said something disparaging about Reddick?

    • FreeSeatUpgrade Jun 28,2012 6:39 pm || Up

      I didn’t see/hear it, but I’d guess it’s about All-Star selections. Washington supposedly thinks he has too many OFers to take one from the A’s.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • ozzman99 Jun 28,2012 6:40 pm || Up

        Well shit, I guess Parker will be the A’s rep, then.

      • lenscrafters Jun 28,2012 6:41 pm || Up

        Ya, Fosse means Melvin doesn’t have to say anything to convince Wash to put Reddick on the team; the home run speaks for itself.

        • ozzman99 Jun 28,2012 6:48 pm || Up

          Also, he has to pick someone from the A’s and Reddick is the best position player on the team.

    • dmoas Jun 28,2012 6:39 pm || Up

      I don’t even think Fosse know what he was talking about.

      • ozzman99 Jun 28,2012 6:40 pm || Up

        The sober Harry Carey.

        • SPWC Jun 28,2012 6:46 pm || Up

          Maybe that’s his problem.

          \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
          • ozzman99 Jun 28,2012 6:50 pm || Up

            Let’s send a few shots to the booth, see what happens.

  22. Leopold Bloom Jun 28,2012 6:33 pm

    are we winning yet?

    • SPWC Jun 28,2012 6:37 pm || Up

      oddly enough, yes.

      \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
    • ozzman99 Jun 28,2012 6:37 pm || Up

      BLOOM! When you’re here, we all win.

    • beebo Jun 28,2012 6:38 pm || Up

      Which ones are we, again?

  23. SPWC Jun 28,2012 6:42 pm

    I’m hosting poker tonight for the first time in about a month or so. It’s weird that I’m more concerned that the bathroom and kitchen are clean and that I look cute than I am about preparing for winning. I still want to win, though. It’s going to be harder without testosterone to fuel on. Poker was one of the few things that stuff was actually good for.

    \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
  24. lenscrafters Jun 28,2012 6:48 pm

    That ominous feeling when the A’s don’t add on in Arlington….

    • ozzman99 Jun 28,2012 6:51 pm || Up

      … or anywhere else. I’d like to see a good, old-fashioned blowout tonight. A lead so big even FUUUU can’t blow it.

      • beebo Jun 28,2012 6:52 pm || Up

        Mathematically impossible.

      • lenscrafters Jun 28,2012 6:58 pm || Up

        You may indeed see a blowout but not the one you want…

        • ozzman99 Jun 28,2012 7:07 pm || Up

          I need to stop saying shit like that.

          • Dial C for Concupiscence Jun 28,2012 9:36 pm || Up

            All sorts of bad jinxes.

            • ozzman99 Jun 29,2012 6:15 am || Up

              I’m gonna get me a fantasy team with no A’s players on it.

              • Dial C for Concupiscence Jun 29,2012 9:28 am || Up

                But how could you hope to win without the might of Cliff Pennington?

    • gonealookin Jun 28,2012 6:53 pm || Up

      That ominous feeling when Tyson Ross is on the mound against a good-hitting team…

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
  25. ozzman99 Jun 28,2012 6:53 pm

    Are these SB’s on Ross, or Norris?

    • lenscrafters Jun 28,2012 6:55 pm || Up

      Ross. Norris’s throws weren’t impressive but both SBs were off of big jumps.

  26. lenscrafters Jun 28,2012 6:59 pm

    Wtf Weeks

  27. Englishmajor Jun 28,2012 7:01 pm

    Oh no, not Miller. Last time he pitched more like late-stage Jim Mecir.

    • aardvark Jun 28,2012 7:41 pm || Up

      Mecir had that one good year.

      • Englishmajor Jun 28,2012 7:57 pm || Up

        I just did a Google Image Search for the FEAR MECIR sign. There is no picture of it, but this is one of the first results:

        I knew it had to be an AN thread, but it turned out it wasn’t even a gane thread. It was a lounge from last year. A lounge in which most of us are saying things we could be saying today, including

        The actual REAL temperature one day this week was 108.
        108!
        by Jennifer on Aug 5, 2011 9:48 PM PDT up actions

        But then I saw

        I downloaded like 10 fonts today that I absolutely love.
        Squee!
        by pam5981 on Aug 5, 2011 9:56 PM PDT actions

        WE MISS YOU PAMCAKES.

        • ozzman99 Jun 28,2012 8:04 pm || Up

          :( I hate the way things transpired.

          • Englishmajor Jun 28,2012 8:09 pm || Up

            Without her or iglew, we have no one who could possibly squee over fonts.

            • ozzman99 Jun 28,2012 8:11 pm || Up

              I can try, but I never took typography. I’d be offering the squee of an amateur.

              • Dial C for Concupiscence Jun 28,2012 9:38 pm || Up

                You gotta impress with your amateur squees before you can move onto pro squees

                • ozzman99 Jun 29,2012 6:16 am || Up

                  I’m gonna take my squeeing to America’s Got Talent.

            • AV Jun 29,2012 10:54 am || Up

              NO one? what am i? chopped lhf tonic liver?

              *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
          • lenscrafters Jun 28,2012 8:11 pm || Up

            What happened with Pam? If it’s not too personal for me to ask. I miss her.

            • ozzman99 Jun 28,2012 8:13 pm || Up

              I was just meaning the whole AN thing. She chose not to make the jump to FK.

              • Future Ed Jun 28,2012 8:37 pm || Up

                she was kinda gone before the migration

                I have $5. No I don\'t.
            • Englishmajor Jun 28,2012 8:14 pm || Up

              Part of it was that she became an NRAF just about the time of the second great AN-to-FK migration.

  28. lenscrafters Jun 28,2012 7:02 pm

    Doolittle, where art thou?

  29. ozzman99 Jun 28,2012 7:04 pm

    Sot Ross ha pitched well at AAA this year. When Colon/McCarthy comes back, maybe move Ross to the pen and try to find spots where he can be successful and build his confidence.

  30. ozzman99 Jun 28,2012 7:08 pm

    Is Miller trying to leave everything up?

    • Future Ed Jun 28,2012 7:11 pm || Up

      would you rather he groove a bp fastball?

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
      • ozzman99 Jun 28,2012 7:16 pm || Up

        That’s like asking if you prefer to pull off a band aid quickly or slowly. But I’d rather he work the lower part of the strike zone, if I have any say in the matter.

  31. beebo Jun 28,2012 7:08 pm

    Oh, we’re fucked.

    • dmoas Jun 28,2012 7:10 pm || Up

      Huh. I thought I’d enjoy being fucked a lot more than this.

    • Future Ed Jun 28,2012 7:12 pm || Up

      we began that way

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
  32. ozzman99 Jun 28,2012 7:12 pm

    Loading the bases with nobody is always a great way to beat the Rangers. Or anyone else, for that matter.

    • Englishmajor Jun 28,2012 7:13 pm || Up

      Tim Lincecum says hi.

      • ozzman99 Jun 28,2012 7:16 pm || Up

        Tell him I said to fuck off.

        • Englishmajor Jun 28,2012 7:17 pm || Up

          I already told him to go get a haircut.

          • ozzman99 Jun 28,2012 7:18 pm || Up

            And a real job?

            • Englishmajor Jun 28,2012 7:30 pm || Up

              LoneStranger had taught his adorable 3-year-old that whenever he saw a picture of Lincecum. “What do we say to Tim Lincecum, Hunter?” “GET A HAIWCUT, HIPPIE!”

              • ozzman99 Jun 28,2012 7:31 pm || Up

                HA! Awesome.

                • SPWC Jun 28,2012 11:09 pm || Up

                  (Marge Simpson grrrrr)

                  \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
                • ozzman99 Jun 29,2012 6:17 am || Up

                  I wouldn’t like it if I thought he was trying to raise a jack-booted thug Republican, but I doubt that he is.

              • Kylianna Jun 28,2012 8:24 pm || Up

                …I don’t even like children, but I totally love this.

  33. lenscrafters Jun 28,2012 7:13 pm

    Take him out!!! Norberto’s ready. Wtf Melvin you fking idiot.

    • lenscrafters Jun 28,2012 7:13 pm || Up

      Too late.

      • lenscrafters Jun 28,2012 7:15 pm || Up

        Unreal. I’m sorry for the bitching but a toddler would’ve been able to figure out the right move.

    • beebo Jun 28,2012 7:14 pm || Up

      (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

    • gonealookin Jun 28,2012 7:14 pm || Up

      Miller’s stay in the big leagues basically ended as soon as Melvin started bringing him in when the team is ahead.

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
      • Future Ed Jun 28,2012 7:17 pm || Up

        did I miss the games where he was good and it seemed like a good idea to do that?

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
        • FreeSeatUpgrade Jun 28,2012 7:40 pm || Up

          2-3 nights ago in Seattle CSNCA flashed a stat that Jim Miller had the 5th best ERA among AL relievers.

          "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
          • andeux Jun 28,2012 7:42 pm || Up

            Fifth best before that game, 8th best before tonight, …
            And only one run charged to him tonight.

            TINSTAAFK
            • lenscrafters Jun 28,2012 7:44 pm || Up

              Yes. Before the Seattle game, he had something like a 98% LOB rate despite a 4.60 xFIP.

    • doctorK Jun 28,2012 7:17 pm || Up

      Yeah, that was dumb.

  34. Englishmajor Jun 28,2012 7:16 pm

    LOL Comcast cut Kuiper off in mid-sentence, they were so anxious to get that ad in.

    • dmoas Jun 28,2012 7:20 pm || Up

      I’d like to think they were anxious to stop having to hear his voice.

  35. Future Ed Jun 28,2012 7:20 pm

    the last time martin was up this inning the a’s had the lead

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
  36. ozzman99 Jun 28,2012 7:23 pm

    People are talking about the NBA draft and it’s like a foreign language to me.

    • doctorK Jun 28,2012 7:24 pm || Up

      To me, it’s more like a lullaby.

      • ozzman99 Jun 28,2012 7:26 pm || Up

        Yeah, it’s that too. A foreign-language lullaby.

        • Englishmajor Jun 28,2012 7:32 pm || Up

          It was a relief this morning to switch off the SCOTUS postgame analysis and turn over to the NBA Draft pregame analysis,

  37. doctorK Jun 28,2012 7:23 pm

    Lead-off Brandons.

    • ozzman99 Jun 28,2012 7:24 pm || Up

      And now Derek the Beard/Derek the NOT SUZUKI…

  38. Jennifer Jun 28,2012 7:35 pm

    The actual temperature today, without the heat index, was 104.

  39. ozzman99 Jun 28,2012 7:41 pm

    Well this game went to shit really quickly.

    • Englishmajor Jun 28,2012 7:58 pm || Up

      And trying to come back out of the shit.

      • ozzman99 Jun 28,2012 8:04 pm || Up

        It’s nice that there’s some fight left in them.

  40. ozzman99 Jun 28,2012 8:10 pm

    So I guess everyone left when Miller lost the lead?

    • beebo Jun 28,2012 8:13 pm || Up

      I was out looking for some shrubbery.

      • ozzman99 Jun 28,2012 8:17 pm || Up

        Well, get on it.

        • beebo Jun 28,2012 8:22 pm || Up

          • Englishmajor Jun 28,2012 8:23 pm || Up

            Wherefrom?

            • beebo Jun 28,2012 8:26 pm || Up

              It’s in Temescal! Around 40th and Telegraph IIRC.

              • Englishmajor Jun 28,2012 8:29 pm || Up

                Cool. Will look for it next time I’m over that way.

                • Englishmajor Jun 28,2012 8:33 pm || Up

                  Now when I see the wider angle, I can see the red building in the back of the painting is the Temescal library by 51st and Telegraph.

                • Englishmajor Jun 28,2012 8:34 pm || Up

                • Englishmajor Jun 28,2012 8:35 pm || Up

                  I dislike not having Preview. Linky

                • the dogfather Jun 29,2012 8:39 am || Up

                  Try ‘edit?’

                  The meaning of life is not so much found, as it is Made. -- Opus
                • SPWC Jun 29,2012 8:42 am || Up

                  not everybody can edit, just people who signed on prior to (I think) February 2010

                  \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
                • the dogfather Jun 29,2012 9:23 am || Up

                  Ah, the ol’ first mover advantage. See what all that resistance got you, m’dear? Assimilated anyway — but no edit for you!

                  The meaning of life is not so much found, as it is Made. -- Opus
                • Future Ed Jun 29,2012 12:20 pm || Up

                  since that is when I finally signed up, I like to think of it as the Ed Exclusion Act of 010

                  I have $5. No I don\'t.
                • SPWC Jun 29,2012 1:41 pm || Up

                  Hmm… I thought it was the Save People from Weird Commenters act of 2010

                  \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
                • beebo Jun 28,2012 8:36 pm || Up

                  Ah, there you go. I was thinking 40th because of the BART station.

          • FreeSeatUpgrade Jun 28,2012 8:27 pm || Up

            That is fantastic.

            "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
          • ozzman99 Jun 28,2012 8:29 pm || Up

            You win.

          • AV Jun 28,2012 10:00 pm || Up

            neat!

            *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • doctorK Jun 28,2012 8:20 pm || Up

    • gonealookin Jun 28,2012 8:13 pm || Up

      A’s games in Arlington have a certain sameness to them.

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
      • ozzman99 Jun 28,2012 8:17 pm || Up

        Two OF assists in one inning! Don’t see that too often.

  41. Englishmajor Jun 28,2012 8:15 pm

    Oh, that was hilarity.

    • gonealookin Jun 28,2012 8:16 pm || Up

      Coco’s best throw of the season.

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
      • ozzman99 Jun 28,2012 8:19 pm || Up

        And 3 hits. I really hope there’s some team that wants him and is watching this game.

  42. doctorK Jun 28,2012 8:16 pm

    Holy crap – Coco almost misplayed that one, and ends up getting a DP.

  43. Kylianna Jun 28,2012 8:19 pm

    What the hell, that cricket.

  44. Englishmajor Jun 28,2012 8:20 pm

    Heh, Fosse doesn’t like crickets.

    • gonealookin Jun 28,2012 8:21 pm || Up

      But it looked gorgeous in 46 inches of high-definition pleasure!!

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
        • Englishmajor Jun 28,2012 8:24 pm || Up

          Yeah, I bet if Chef Rodney served Ray some nice sauteed crickets, he’d eat them.

          • Englishmajor Jun 28,2012 8:27 pm || Up

            Or “Cribs” – the tasty new ice cream treat with extra crunchy protein inside?

            • SPWC Jun 28,2012 11:14 pm || Up

              brilliant!

              \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
  45. ozzman99 Jun 28,2012 8:24 pm

    7 innings in Arlington = more offense than 27 innings in Seattle

  46. ozzman99 Jun 28,2012 8:36 pm

    The Ports are having a caption contest, and the entries so far really suck.

    • beebo Jun 28,2012 8:39 pm || Up

      Only one fart joke?

    • dmoas Jun 28,2012 8:39 pm || Up

      That’s a shitty photo to try to caption.

      • beebo Jun 28,2012 8:41 pm || Up

        Needs a cat.

      • ozzman99 Jun 28,2012 8:42 pm || Up

        Well yeah, it is. But the most of the attempts are boring.

      • andeux Jun 28,2012 8:43 pm || Up

        Even “Christ what an asshole” doesn’t really work. And that always works.

        TINSTAAFK
      • JamesV Jun 28,2012 9:44 pm || Up

        I don’t even know why they’d use that photo to try to do a caption of.

        • ozzman99 Jun 29,2012 6:18 am || Up

          Clearly chosen by someone who is new to the concept.

    • the dogfather Jun 29,2012 9:25 am || Up

      20Chapter9!

      The meaning of life is not so much found, as it is Made. -- Opus
  47. lenscrafters Jun 28,2012 8:41 pm

    Do the Rangers get this many infield hits against other teams?

    • Future Ed Jun 29,2012 12:21 pm || Up

      vince says the grass is cut longer than most infields for the pitcher benefit

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
      • SPWC Jun 29,2012 1:42 pm || Up

        and he would know, because he sneaks into the park and lovingly caresses it during the offseason.

        \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
  48. ozzman99 Jun 28,2012 8:44 pm

    I hope the Reds score really soon. And a lot.

  49. Englishmajor Jun 28,2012 8:44 pm

    Long game is long.

  50. brian.only Jun 28,2012 8:45 pm

    Oh man excellent idea to bring in FU when were a run down and a game away from .500!!!

  51. Englishmajor Jun 28,2012 8:50 pm

    Glen and Ray like their meat well-done. That’s a shocker.

    • ozzman99 Jun 28,2012 8:51 pm || Up

      Is that a euphemism?

      • Englishmajor Jun 28,2012 8:59 pm || Up

        No, it’s a bit of Bourdain-derived food snobbery that was unkind of me to mention.

        • ozzman99 Jun 28,2012 9:02 pm || Up

          I’m no fan of Bourdain, but I detest steak cooked past medium rare.

          • Englishmajor Jun 28,2012 9:07 pm || Up

            I don’t like it for myself. But if other people like well-done meat, good for them.

            • ozzman99 Jun 28,2012 9:10 pm || Up

              It hurts me to see a good piece of meat ruined. Even worse is seeing someone in a fine dining restaurant ask for ketchup for their steak.

              • Dial C for Concupiscence Jun 28,2012 9:45 pm || Up

                Sigh, total agreement.

              • DFA Jun 29,2012 7:09 am || Up

                I strongly endorse this statement,

                Signed,
                DFA

                PS. When I was in college I asked my roommate how he liked his steak cooked when we first moved in together. He told me well done, I told him that was not allowed in our house and he could have medium rare if he was lucky. Dude now eates it as raw as I do.

                In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
                • ozzman99 Jun 29,2012 7:36 am || Up

                  Growing up, my dad was the only one in the family who ever ate steak, and he always had it well done. I’d try a bite and I never liked it. I thought I just didn’t care for steak. Then, one day in college, I ordered a NY strip med. rare (no idea why, I just did it), at Red Lobster of all places. It was actually delicious, and I then realized that my dad’s steaks were just overcooked. Then I met Ozzwife and she introduced me to ribeyes. My life has never been the same.

                • DFA Jun 29,2012 8:55 am || Up

                  If it was legal to marry ribeyes I would… Im hoping that this is the slippery slope all those right wingnuts are talking about.

                  In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
                • ozzman99 Jun 29,2012 9:40 am || Up

                  I think they’re more obsessed with bestiality. Of course, if you argue that it’s just part of a dead cow, than you can combine bestiality with necrophilia. And really, who doesn’t love that?

                • dmoas Jun 29,2012 9:48 am || Up

                  Yeah, but you don’t want to be arrested for spousal abuse. And the moment you ate her up you’d be in jail for sure.

                • ozzman99 Jun 29,2012 10:58 am || Up

                  Two words: bath salts.

                • dmoas Jun 29,2012 1:02 pm || Up

                  “Honey, I think it’s time for us to… Spice… things up…”

                • beebo Jun 29,2012 1:21 pm || Up

                  “Salt” things up?

                • DFA Jun 29,2012 2:32 pm || Up

                  Honey can I baste you in rosemary garlic butter?

                  In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
          • Kylianna Jun 28,2012 11:29 pm || Up

            I have my steak medium or medium-well.

            COME AT ME BRO.

            • ozzman99 Jun 29,2012 6:19 am || Up

              Well sure, overcooked meat makes a nice accompaniment to overcooked boy band music.

            • DFA Jun 29,2012 7:07 am || Up

              Why do you believe that animals should have to suffer for such a tasteless death?

              Thats fucking terrible. You destroy the quality of the meat by cooking it past medium rare.

              In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
              • the dogfather Jun 29,2012 9:27 am || Up

                /sniff I love it, even if it’s the sarcasm talking.

                The meaning of life is not so much found, as it is Made. -- Opus
              • dmoas Jun 29,2012 9:50 am || Up

                The pinkish red of medium rare with just the slight pool of glorious blood is perfection itself.

                • DFA Jun 29,2012 9:52 am || Up

                  too cooked for me. I want my meat to barely be warm in the middle. Like a bath you should have gotten out of 30 minutes ago.

                  In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
                • AV Jun 29,2012 11:12 am || Up

                  all i’m hearing when you guys say that it’s one war or another is that you people cook like ‘merukans.

                  you throw a bunch of briquettes into a parabola that concentrates the flame and only gives you a cooking window of about 5 minutes. the heat is so hot that if you barely touch it the outside cooks and if you leave it in a second longer it’s all dry.

                  but the fat doesn’t get a chance to go clear if you cook rare that way. (are you guys avoiding eating the fat when you cook that rare? now that would be an abomination.) and yes, the meat is ruined if you cook it all the way through, but gosh, there is something to be said about what heat does to the tenderness of meat…

                  you gotta slow it down and you’ll get every grade in the same steak, from a crust on the outside to clear fat that you can eat to a strata of “cooked” meat to layers of pink and red inside.

                  *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
                • AV Jun 29,2012 11:13 am || Up

                  *one way or another

                  *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
                • dmoas Jun 29,2012 1:03 pm || Up

                  Mmm… want.

              • Kylianna Jun 29,2012 10:59 pm || Up

                1) A lot of places I’ve eaten have interpreted ‘medium rare’ as ‘rare’.

                2) The texture of medium-rare steak freaks me out.

            • Dial C for Concupiscence Jun 29,2012 9:32 am || Up

              Maybe all the tetanus is affecting your taste buds

          • SPWC Jun 28,2012 11:52 pm || Up

            I’d eat it straight up raw if it was guaranteed I wouldn’t get sick.

            \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
            • ozzman99 Jun 29,2012 6:19 am || Up

              Have you had carpaccio?

            • DFA Jun 29,2012 7:07 am || Up

              tartare ftw

              In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
            • Dial C for Concupiscence Jun 29,2012 9:33 am || Up

              Yeah. Just gotta kill of the bacteria on the outside and that’s cooked enough for me.

          • DFA Jun 29,2012 7:06 am || Up

            Woah woah woah how do you dislike Bourdain?

            In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
            • ozzman99 Jun 29,2012 7:36 am || Up

              He’s arrogant and annoying.

              • DFA Jun 29,2012 8:56 am || Up

                If by arrogant you mean a bad ass mother fker and by annoying you mean AWESOME, then I agree!

                In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
                • ozzman99 Jun 29,2012 9:41 am || Up

                  I mean neither of those things, but I trust my dislike for him in no way affects your adoration.

                • DFA Jun 29,2012 9:51 am || Up

                  i like my chefs douchie tho.

                  In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
                • ozzman99 Jun 29,2012 10:59 am || Up

                  I prefer chefs with enough self-confidence that they don’t have to parade around pretending they have the biggest dick in the room.

                • dmoas Jun 29,2012 1:03 pm || Up

                  Can you get on TV like that?

                • ozzman99 Jun 29,2012 5:06 pm || Up

                  Probably not.

                • DFA Jun 29,2012 2:34 pm || Up

                  Did you see what he said about Paula Dean? It was fucking awesome.

                  In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
                • ozzman99 Jun 29,2012 5:07 pm || Up

                  It was a classic case of him running his mouth on something that had nothing to do with him. He’s a jackass, plain and simple. I wish he’d shut his FKing mouth.

  52. ozzman99 Jun 28,2012 8:52 pm

    Wait a minute. First Gameday took away my badges. Now I’ve noticed that they no longer have each pitch’s “nasty factor.” It’s almost like they think made up crap might detract from the game itself.

    • Jennifer Jun 28,2012 8:56 pm || Up

      We don’t need no stinking badges.

      • ozzman99 Jun 28,2012 8:57 pm || Up

        Oh no. Wait. NF is still there. Wow, that was close.

        • Jennifer Jun 28,2012 8:59 pm || Up

          I prefer to call it “skank factor”.

          • ozzman99 Jun 28,2012 9:02 pm || Up

            I like lizards, so I call it the “skink factor.”

        • nevermoor Jun 28,2012 9:04 pm || Up

          Apparently it actually correlates fairly well to outcome.

          "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
          • ozzman99 Jun 28,2012 9:05 pm || Up

            I’ve never actually paid attention to it, because it serves no actual purpose in my life.

          • colin Jun 29,2012 4:59 am || Up

            Really? From what I understand of how it’s calculated, it seems like it gets derived from really small samples. Like for each hitter, they take all of his pitches seen and bin them according to location, pitch type, and velocity — so you end up with populations of like 0-5 in each bin — and then look at outcomes to decide how tough that pitch would be for the hitter. I can imagine that a post-facto analysis of the correlation might end up looking ok if you don’t take into account the fact that the NF values get built up over the season based on the pitches seen by each hitter, so the number of degrees-of-freedom < number of pitches seen. Or, I might be completely wrong about how it is calculated...

            • PDXAthleticsfan Jun 29,2012 8:38 am || Up
              A soliloquy of fresh-sounding ideas which would probably be disastrous.
              • colin Jun 29,2012 8:57 am || Up

                Ok, that clarified the part I had wrong. I was thinking that Nasty Factor was calculated differently for each batter, i.e. Bobby Crosby is 0-for-a million on sliders down and away, so we’ll assign NF=100 to any sliders in that zone against Crosby.

                But they are actually doing it for all hitters (probably splitting lefties and righties, though). That makes a lot more sense and also provides reasonable sample sizes.

                Of course, we all know that my Bobby Crosby example is totally accurate.

                • PDXAthleticsfan Jun 29,2012 9:06 am || Up

                  It would be an interesting study to see how someone like Hamilton or Pujols has done against various ranges of nasty factors, though.

                  A soliloquy of fresh-sounding ideas which would probably be disastrous.
  53. FreeSeatUpgrade Jun 28,2012 8:55 pm

    ohboyohboyohboyohboy…

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • ozzman99 Jun 28,2012 8:57 pm || Up

      yeah, after the first inning the Rangers decided they don’t want any part of Reddick. Now if only someone could drive him in…

  54. lenscrafters Jun 28,2012 8:58 pm

    Come on Theth!!

  55. ozzman99 Jun 28,2012 8:59 pm

    The teASe is on.

  56. brian.only Jun 28,2012 9:02 pm

    I’ll totally settle for a wild pitch

  57. FreeSeatUpgrade Jun 28,2012 9:02 pm

    So they’re saying Inge is due.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  58. Englishmajor Jun 28,2012 9:02 pm

    We need to invoke BRANDON POWER

  59. FreeSeatUpgrade Jun 28,2012 9:03 pm

    Sigh…

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  60. lenscrafters Jun 28,2012 9:03 pm

    Theth chose a bad time to have his worst at bat of the year.

  61. Jennifer Jun 28,2012 10:16 pm

    I am unable to tell the outcome of the game by the posts in this thread.

    • Englishmajor Jun 28,2012 10:24 pm || Up

      Rangers 7, A’s 6; tying run left on third, winning run on first.

    • ozzman99 Jun 29,2012 6:21 am || Up

      It’s easiest to just look for the “YAY! WINZ!” comments. If you don’t see something very much like that, the A’s lost.

  62. JamesV Jun 29,2012 12:52 pm

    In case you don’t Grill:

    Carter up, Ross down.

    • ozzman99 Jun 29,2012 5:08 pm || Up

      So Cespedes will DH, Moss wil play 1B, and Carter will.. rot on the bench again?

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