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129 thoughts on “Content Removed

  1. FreeSeatUpgrade May 17,2012 8:22 am

    “Garagerayogini” is brilliant.

    I can think of some of us, myself included, who might benefit from 178 lives as an Oklahoma dirt farmer, to pick up an essential lesson or two on the path to enlightenment.

    3 x 3 x 2.5? That wouldn’t even hold my…ego.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • SPWC May 17,2012 8:43 am || Up

      It doesn’t hold mine either… and that’s part of the point.

      \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
  2. FreeSeatUpgrade May 17,2012 8:24 am

    As promised: 1927 Rockridge pagan sex cult! Complete with defendents fleeing to Mexico to avoid prosecution by Earl Warren.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • sslinger May 17,2012 9:48 am || Up

      Worth waiting an extra day for!

    • SPWC May 17,2012 9:56 am || Up

      If I was running a pagan sex cult back then, I’d’a got me a compound and made it a live-in pagan sex cult to keep prying eyes away.

      \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
      • Leopold Bloom May 17,2012 11:42 am || Up

        …hopefully your compound would be bigger than 3′ by 3′ by 2.5’…

    • Englishmajor May 17,2012 9:57 am || Up

      I think mb used to play flutophone for Rockridge Pagan Sex Cult/

  3. JamesV May 17,2012 8:45 am

    Inge to DL, Rosales back and playing 1B today. Fuuuuuuun.

    • SPWC May 17,2012 8:48 am || Up

      That kinda sucks severe dogballs.

      \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
    • MikeV May 17,2012 9:39 am || Up

      True Athletic

      And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

      Thanks, and go As.

    • colin May 17,2012 9:40 am || Up

      Right, because we don’t have *any* 1B.

      • andeux May 17,2012 9:56 am || Up

        How else would we get both Donaldson and Rosales in the lineup?

        TINSTAAFK
        • colin May 17,2012 9:59 am || Up

          How about a game where Melvin subs in a new catcher every inning, just because he can?

    • FreeSeatUpgrade May 17,2012 10:08 am || Up

      I CAN HAZ YOUKILIS?

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  4. FreeSeatUpgrade May 17,2012 8:46 am

    The inescapable conclusion is that this woman is a liar:

    “There is phosphorous that naturally occurs on the sand at the beach, but no one has ever heard of pants catching fire,”

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • PDXAthleticsfan May 17,2012 8:49 am || Up

      Crazy. Bets on how long until this story is adapted for a TV crime show?

      A soliloquy of fresh-sounding ideas which would probably be disastrous.
      • AV May 17,2012 10:21 am || Up

        lennie: my ex wife liked hot rocks too, but she just took the diamond ring and burned me. .

        mccoy: i’ve got you for conspiracy to commit second degree burns you son of a beach. .

        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
        • Future Ed May 17,2012 11:21 am || Up

          Afghanistan Bananastand

          I have $5. No I don\'t.
  5. andeux May 17,2012 9:37 am

    TINSTAAFK
    • nevermoor May 17,2012 9:41 am || Up

      In other words: proof that it either has never been invented or our time is too FKing boring to worry about.

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
      • SPWC May 17,2012 9:52 am || Up

        I’m somewhat skeptical about physical time travel, but not so skeptical about trance-state communications with other entities or trancing people across time or other celestial “boundaries”.

        \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
        • dmoas May 17,2012 10:21 am || Up

          I’m skeptical of time travel, but not so much multiverse travel, particularly multiverse travel that’s effectively timetravelesque.

          • SPWC May 17,2012 12:37 pm || Up

            Yeah!

            \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
            • Leopold Bloom May 17,2012 1:48 pm || Up

              I’m skeptical that you’re not all conspiring against me.

              • AV May 17,2012 1:51 pm || Up

                you think there’s a small chance we’re not???

                *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
                • Leopold Bloom May 17,2012 2:00 pm || Up

                  hmmm…valid.

                • AV May 17,2012 2:23 pm || Up

                  i had a dream about you last night. first FK-populated dream i believe. you were in my house and very casually, hands-a-pocket even, walking through every room. me and R were packing to go somewhere vacationy. we looked at each other wondering WTF you were doing, but shrugged and kept packing. then you wanted to take a nap on the couch. i went to catalog records in another room and R went to work. odd, but not uncomfortable.

                  *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
                • dmoas May 17,2012 2:26 pm || Up

                  I can tell you exactly what he was doing with his hands-a-pocket.

                • Leopold Bloom May 17,2012 2:28 pm || Up

                  [sagh]

                • PDXAthleticsfan May 17,2012 2:30 pm || Up

                  If you’re saghing, you’re doing it wrong.

                  A soliloquy of fresh-sounding ideas which would probably be disastrous.
                • colin May 17,2012 2:32 pm || Up

                  I’m pretty sure I know gh, but who is sa?

                • Leopold Bloom May 17,2012 2:27 pm || Up

                  So it’s cool if I come over, then?

                • AV May 17,2012 2:33 pm || Up

                  maybe we weren’t packing for vacation. maybe we were packing our valuables to hide. but yes!

                  *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
              • dmoas May 17,2012 1:57 pm || Up

                I’m not the least bit skeptical you’re all conspiring against me. I know it.

    • dmoas May 17,2012 10:20 am || Up

      I kind of wish he’d said “It’s Irrelative!” instead.

    • Leopold Bloom May 17,2012 11:43 am || Up

      oh, I’m so stealing this.

  6. nevermoor May 17,2012 10:05 am

    KTOTD

    How many times does the obvious point have to prove true before people listen?

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • PDXAthleticsfan May 17,2012 10:37 am || Up

      They mentioned on the radio this morning that Merkel was open to some stimulus for Greece, so maybe…

      A soliloquy of fresh-sounding ideas which would probably be disastrous.
  7. Englishmajor May 17,2012 10:08 am

    Breaking news! Breaking news! We have word from the owners’ meetings in New York and….

    ….never mind.

    • Englishmajor May 17,2012 10:11 am || Up

      • futwork May 17,2012 10:22 am || Up

        But…but there’s a blue ribbon panel on the case!

      • beebo May 17,2012 1:53 pm || Up

        “No timetable”? Gee, thanks for the confirmation, Bud!

        • dmoas May 17,2012 1:58 pm || Up

          SJ just needs to take the nuclear option and sue. They can use a half dozen or so Selig quotes against him.

  8. Future Ed May 17,2012 10:32 am

    I almost threw my phone across the courtroom when I read suslus note about the line up. The firstbaseperson displeases me.

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
  9. PDXAthleticsfan May 17,2012 10:38 am

    RIP, Donna.

    A soliloquy of fresh-sounding ideas which would probably be disastrous.
    • beebo May 17,2012 1:56 pm || Up

      I actually screamed at my station today when I found out at work earlier. My coworkers, however, seemed more concerned over Doug Dillard.

      • SPWC May 17,2012 1:59 pm || Up

        I take it none of y’all have heard Dillard & Summer’s “I Feel (Banjo) Love” ???

        \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
  10. wistful witch May 17,2012 10:57 am

    i ♥ Vajrayogini.

    • SPWC May 17,2012 2:39 pm || Up

      me too!

      The last couple of days have been an odd juxtaposition of reading rationally with my eyes and letting my heart and hands’ reaction tell me where to look next.

      \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
      • SPWC May 17,2012 2:40 pm || Up

        and I’m so confused about what stuff is like Fight Club and should not be spoken about and what stuff is okay to share happily with willing ears and/or confrontationally with unwilling ears.

        \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
        • wistful witch May 17,2012 2:48 pm || Up

          hell, share away.
          this is the mantra i like for Her:
          oṃ vajrayoginī hūṃ phaṭ svāhā

          • SPWC May 17,2012 2:55 pm || Up

            Thank you so much!

            I have so much to learn! :)

            \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
  11. andeux May 17,2012 11:17 am

    Lawrie was framed.

    TINSTAAFK
  12. AV May 17,2012 11:58 am

    libertadores watch.

    coupla major clashes today starting at 3:45 (i think.) with boca-fluminense and velez-santos.

    boca-flu have already met twice this year (they were in the same group) and traded blows with the visitors winning in each case. boca, champs of 2011 apertura, plays at home tonight. and the genius of ephemeral knee/ankle health, riquelme, will be there.

    velez-santos is a clash of worldwide high-rankers, though both fell a little recently (velez was 3rd and santos 6th just months ago). santos took the cup last year. of course: neymar! while velez is adjusting its team just to contain him.

    *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • AV May 17,2012 3:55 pm || Up

      first one’s on. everyone in traditional colors. so pretty.

      dale, dale boca!

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • AV May 17,2012 8:13 pm || Up

        the argentines prevail over the brazilians by the minimum difference in both cases. next week, the second leg defines the quarterfinals, with both these matchups happening in brazil.

        sadly, i missed the other 2 first legs, the one all-brazil and the one with chileans against paraguayans. i thought those games were tomorrow, but they played yesterday. libertad v la U were 1-1, and corinthians v vasco were 0-0.

        and that’s your libertadores report for the day.

        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
        • Future Ed May 17,2012 8:29 pm || Up

          the canadians with a brazillian prevailed over the evil empire

          I have $5. No I don\'t.
          • andeux May 17,2012 8:43 pm || Up

            Pamela Anderson?

            TINSTAAFK
            • AV May 17,2012 8:59 pm || Up

              well done.

              and let me just say, because it really doesn’t come up anymore, i used to love VIP. and not even because of boobs. i thought it was hilarious.

              *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  13. Jennifer May 17,2012 2:13 pm

    If anyone needs me, I’ll be patting my own back.

    1. I found out yesterday I tested in the 98th percentile in the NATION for the OB and peds tests I took last week.

    2. I just found out I get to keep my job! They are letting me pick my own schedule. I think a few nurses and a certain Doctor spoke to them about me leaving. I actually went in to give my notice today, so it was a pleasant surprise. After, I went over to Dr. Hottie’s office and gave him a small gift. His receptionist said, “You know, we’re having bad days, too.” I said, “Yeah, but you don’t butter my bread.”

    Huzzah! It’s a great couple of days.

    • PDXAthleticsfan May 17,2012 2:17 pm || Up

      Awesome! Congratulations!

      A soliloquy of fresh-sounding ideas which would probably be disastrous.
    • ptbnl May 17,2012 2:18 pm || Up

      Rockstar!

      If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
      • Jennifer May 17,2012 2:20 pm || Up

        Thank you. That shit was HARD. And it made me never want to have children.

        • beebo May 17,2012 2:24 pm || Up

          The OB or peds stuff? (I guess either could do that to you). Congrats!

          • Jennifer May 17,2012 2:28 pm || Up

            Both. Mostly OB, though. There is SOOO much that could go wrong at any minute…. while carrying the child, during labor, after labor. I’ve seen things, man.

            Then the child can be born with any number of disorders, some of it caused by simple things like the mother’s diet.

            • beebo May 17,2012 2:37 pm || Up

              For sure. My partner in crime is an OB/GYN resident, so I get to hear all about it when she (eventually) comes home. She wanted to do peds when she started med school, but said it was way too depressing. Either way, both sound like really tough specialties.

              • Jennifer May 17,2012 2:47 pm || Up

                There is too much blood and vagina in OB. Not my thing. My job in OB was to check your Bs (boobs, belly, blood, and bottom) every 2 hours. I am not a fan of looking at and feeling someone else’s bleeding woman parts.

                • beebo May 17,2012 2:57 pm || Up

                  It could be worse. Partner in Crime did a rotation at a clinic affiliated with the local LGBT center once, and had the marvelous “opportunity” to learn how to do anal pap smear tests. Fun!

                • Jennifer May 17,2012 3:07 pm || Up

                  I worked with Dr. Hottie on Sunday in the ER, and he did a lot of rectal exams. I asked how his day was going and he said, “shitty.” LOL! He also likes to rant about “this is exactly why I went to medical school.” Rashes and asses.

        • ptbnl May 17,2012 2:26 pm || Up

          pooping a grapefruit ~ childbirth

          If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
          • Jennifer May 17,2012 2:31 pm || Up

            Fourth degree lacerations, man. The stuff of nightmares.

            • Jennifer May 17,2012 2:39 pm || Up

              That’s a good way to scare teenage girls. Google image fourth degree lacerations and tell them all about it.

              “THEN YOUR VAGINA RIPS ALL THE WAY TO YOUR –” [thud]

            • Poppy May 18,2012 3:27 pm || Up

              Yeah, I had an 8.5 lb baby, not gigantic, but about 7 lbs of him was his head… so… yeah.

              There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
    • SPWC May 17,2012 2:22 pm || Up

      Wow. I’m very happy for you and it’s nice to see hard work be rewarded!

      \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
    • Future Ed May 17,2012 2:22 pm || Up

      BAM!

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • whiteshoes40 May 17,2012 2:26 pm || Up

      Awesome!

    • Leopold Bloom May 17,2012 2:27 pm || Up

      Congratulations!

    • wistful witch May 17,2012 2:48 pm || Up

      SWEET! GO JENNIFER!!!

    • FreeSeatUpgrade May 17,2012 3:06 pm || Up

      Yeah, baby!

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • Englishmajor May 17,2012 4:24 pm || Up

      We knew it all along — you’re fabulous!

    • batgirl May 17,2012 6:59 pm || Up

      Damn straight.

    • JediLeroy May 17,2012 9:41 pm || Up

      Huzzah! Congrats!

      az di bobe volt gehat beytsim volt zi geven mayn zeyde
    • Poppy May 18,2012 3:29 pm || Up

      I’m in awe. And not at all surprised… :)

      There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
  14. nevermoor May 17,2012 2:37 pm

    Heh.

    H/T: Grant.

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • Leopold Bloom May 17,2012 2:39 pm || Up

      common complaint.

      • Leopold Bloom May 17,2012 2:40 pm || Up

        oh, and yoink.

      • dmoas May 17,2012 2:41 pm || Up

        I’d complain but, you know, [yawn, sits back down. lies down on the bench.].

        • beebo May 17,2012 2:42 pm || Up

          Sometimes, you just have to call it what it is.

  15. wistful witch May 17,2012 2:49 pm

    sad news. our car roxanne is too ill to fix. i’m heartbroken.

    • AV May 17,2012 2:50 pm || Up

      is she buggin’ out?

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • MikeV May 17,2012 2:51 pm || Up

      The Bug??? What happened?

      And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

      Thanks, and go As.

    • Jennifer May 17,2012 2:52 pm || Up

      So, Roxanne’s red light came on?

    • dmoas May 17,2012 2:53 pm || Up

      No such thing.

      • wistful witch May 17,2012 3:04 pm || Up

        :( transmission. it will cost at least 5,000 to fix, so i guess we are getting another car. we’ve had a ton of trouble over the past five months with her and it turns out that we fixed so many things when this was the real problem. sooooooo sad. :( :( :(

        • Future Ed May 17,2012 3:07 pm || Up

          a volkswagen?

          Yeah we had that with out GTI wish I would have walked away ealier. Could have current car paid off by now.

          I have $5. No I don\'t.
          • wistful witch May 17,2012 3:12 pm || Up

            yeah. it’s been replaced twice before, too, both times on warranty. i was hoping we could keep her for 5 more years; it’s been great not having a car payment to worry about.

        • MikeV May 17,2012 3:09 pm || Up

          Wow, that’s crazy expensive for a transmission.

          And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

          Thanks, and go As.

          • wistful witch May 17,2012 3:12 pm || Up

            i know!!!!!!! :(

          • FreeSeatUpgrade May 17,2012 3:33 pm || Up

            VW trannys are legendary for their suckiness, and the high cost of replacing them.

            "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
            • SPWC May 17,2012 4:30 pm || Up

              Yeah! Very Wealthy trannys think they can just plastic surgery all their problems away, but they can’t! It’s about what you are on the inside, not how good you look on the outside!

              \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
  16. SPWC May 17,2012 5:04 pm

    Red Sox @ Rays is pretty interesting today.

    Adrian Gonzalez predicted he’d hit a dinger today. 1st PA= HBP. 2nd PA= missed a HR by a few feet foul then struck out.

    When Tampa comes up in the bottom of the 3rd, they’ll be led off by Rich Thompson, who last played in the majors in 2004 and has 1 lifetime AB. Of course, Maddon, being badass, stuck the dude right in the starting lineup.

    I want him to have a good plate appearance and get on base… unless some of that crazy Rays magic(k) takes hold of the ball and drops it in the fish tank!

    \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
  17. brian.only May 17,2012 7:54 pm

    Between Mael Unicornio and Pew-Pew AK-47, Los Doyers are almost familiar and likeable, add to the fact they’re the Gnats rivals – I’m almost sold.
    This Kenley Jansen dude is pretty fun to watch as well.

    • SPWC May 17,2012 8:19 pm || Up

      I kinda have a crush on Davey, Gio, and the Nats.

      \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
      • brian.only May 17,2012 8:26 pm || Up

        Me too! I have a thing for St Rasburg as well, fashionable yes, but I love a high K rate. My buddy are contemplating a trip to Raley Field to see the newly ascended Trevor Bauer if there’s a matchup.

        I think its A’s, Brewers, Rays, Nats, and then a mash of Jays/Royals/Braves.

        Okay Abreu’s a Dodger? That makes it harder to like them now…

        • brian.only May 17,2012 8:27 pm || Up

          My buddy and I*…

        • Future Ed May 17,2012 8:30 pm || Up

          I am in to harper too. so brash.

          But yeah I have been listening mostly to nats and jays.

          I have $5. No I don\'t.
          • brian.only May 17,2012 8:37 pm || Up

            The ’10 stitches’ event was pretty funny, I like em too despite the uber-hype, poor overshadowed Trout.

  18. FreeSeatUpgrade May 18,2012 8:19 am

    “And in other news, French Prime Minister Penis visited the West Bank today.”

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  19. SPWC May 18,2012 8:40 am

    I was just listening to “Radio Friendly Unit Shifter” by Nirvana… the one with the chorus of “What is wrong with me?”

    and it made me sad that the damn near obvious answers are Crohn’s, Celiac, and Gender Identity Disorder.

    \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
    • dmoas May 18,2012 9:24 am || Up

      Knowing is half the battle.

      • SPWC May 18,2012 9:31 am || Up

        And to be clear, I was talking about him, not me.

        \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
        • 5Aces May 18,2012 9:33 am || Up

          I was just thinking that I didn’t remember you mentioning Crohn’s before. But then again when I’m buried up to my eyeballs I miss a lot of stuff..

          Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
          • SPWC May 18,2012 9:53 am || Up

            I think I would really hate being buried alive, even in a dungeon with a specially-constructed box with quick releases.

            OTOH, I would love to wear a mermaid outfit with concealed oxygen source and spend an evening underwater.

            \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
    • batgirl May 18,2012 10:06 am || Up

      Having an insomnia night a few months ago I caught the Courtney Love Behind the Music at 3am and my first thought was, damn, Kurt probably had Celiac and didn’t know it.

      • SPWC May 18,2012 10:20 am || Up

        hardly anybody knew it back then.

        \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
        • batgirl May 18,2012 12:22 pm || Up

          Yep, my brother had it for years before he was diagnosed. And his diagnosis was pure luck more than anything. He was at the Mayo Clinic for completely different reasons, and when he mentioned the symptoms for his medical history, he ended up tackling both issues while he was there. Thank goodness–poor guy was going through hell.

          • SPWC May 18,2012 12:27 pm || Up

            Damn near the same with my wife. She had a different gastro issue that required a colonoscopy and there the evidence was…

            \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
    • AV May 18,2012 10:30 am || Up

      hey, at least it’s not “courtney love.” ’cause that particular disease is fatal.

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  20. dmoas May 18,2012 12:45 pm

    Um… don’t you mean you traded your magic beans for a grill?

    • SPWC May 19,2012 1:26 am || Up

      I traded the other grill for magic beans, then wrote this one to try to replace the old one before ma got home and realized what I’d done did…

      As for the beans… some of them I planted; some of them I traded for an ’81 El Camino that I’ve got up on blocks in my front yard. My cousin Cletus sits in it and blasts warped Styx 8 tracks on the stereo all day long or until the battery dies.

      \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS

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