F(il)K: Pulling Muscles on DL ← FREE KRAUT!

F(il)K: Pulling Muscles on DL 11

25 Jun 2009  |  monkeyball  |F(il)K

[Original lyrics here.]

(Anyone else think Glenn Tillbrook from around the time of this video looks a lot like Michael Lewis?)

Pulling Muscles on DL

They do it down at Papago Park
They’d do it on the Wii Fit
Lazing about the bench all day-to-day,
At night the Coli’s empty
Squealing seagulls answer vendors’ cries
A Michael Lewis paperback
Servers drop their dollar dogs and fries
And Alfred G. Rava wants a hat

Look beyond E. Chavvy
Trading Holliday’s a fait accompli
And I feel like William L.‘s
Made Moneyball a dull, two-bit team
Pulling muscles on DL
Pulling muscles on DL


Shrinking sample size or so I’m told
Punchless batters swing away
A Fu-Man with no wooden power
Deliver us all from Rajai
We wish we had a power bat
Who could defend the hot corner
And when a player is half-dead
We’ll hook our wagon to his faded star

Look beyond E. Chavvy
Trading Holliday’s a fait accompli
And I feel like William L.’s
Made Moneyball a dull, two-bit team
Pulling muscles on DL
Pulling muscles on DL

Two batless wonders with no pop
Nothing on Beane’s mantelpiece
Hits all singles all the time
Abandoned by the fans en masse
The minority owner schemes and pouts
Looking at a local map
The golden boy he’s gone away
Until next year’s Fest of Fans

Look beyond E. Chavvy
Trading Holliday’s a fait accompli
And I feel like William L.’s
Made Moneyball a dull, two-bit team
Pulling muscles on DL
Pulling muscles on DL

Look beyond E. Chavvy
Trading Holliday’s a fait accompli
And I feel like William L.’s
Made Moneyball a dull, two-bit team
Pulling muscles on DL
Pulling muscles on DL

you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come

11 thoughts on “F(il)K: Pulling Muscles on DL”

  1. FreeSeatUpgrade Jun 25,2009 7:21 pm

    I had totally blacked out all memories of this song until your post. And now the early 80’s come flooding back…adolescent awkwardness, the laughter and derision, morning in America. Thanks a lot.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • monkeyball Jun 25,2009 8:48 pm || Up

      I paid for this microphone website.

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
      • nevermoor Jun 25,2009 9:25 pm || Up

        You only think that’s a joke.

        My bill is in the mail.

        "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
        • the dogfather Jun 26,2009 9:46 am || Up

          Will you get your usual hourly rate?

          (If so, MB, it might be cheaper to move.)

          The meaning of life is not so much found, as it is Made. -- Opus
          • the dogfather Jun 26,2009 9:56 am || Up

            MB — this is your usual wonderful job, you masterfilker, you.

            I just don’t know the song, in my lamentable elditude, and I fear the earworm.

            The meaning of life is not so much found, as it is Made. -- Opus
            • monkeyball Jun 26,2009 10:29 am || Up

              Difford and Tillbrook were awfully damn good at that.

              you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
          • nevermoor Jun 26,2009 1:45 pm || Up

            Nah. If he moves we can find him. There are people for that.

            "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
            • monkeyball Jun 26,2009 1:50 pm || Up

              < sits very very still >

              you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
        • monkeyball Jun 26,2009 10:29 am || Up

          Good thing I’ve been saving all that money I otherwise would have been spending paying Blez rent for my front-page real estate.

          you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • Poppy Jun 26,2009 9:45 am || Up

      There’s a monkey in the woods…

      There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
      • monkeyball Jun 26,2009 10:33 am || Up

        We begin bombing flinging poo in five minutes.

        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come

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