you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
114 thoughts on “In which monkeyball gnaws morosely on bitter leaves of ignominy cabbage … and opens up a DLD”
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I see red cabbage and monkey brain soup.
You don’t prefer them chilled?
you can have em in soup, or chilled, or monkey brains au gratin, monkey brain kabobs, monkey brain fettuccine, monkey brain and short ribs, fried monkey brains with special sauce, monkey brains and ketchup, monkey brain tartar….
I prefer mine al dente
Well, Cabbagetown kinds looks like it blows, but the flag’s cool. Can we make a FK flag?
So where are all the Krauts? Or is that Krauthors ;)
there’s something almost indescribably strange about an eight-year-old who looks like Gary Oldman
Eight-year-olds, dude.
How about 555-pound 14 year olds?
So, MB, you’re going to tease me with that and then not show me a picture. Nice.
That’s something you should ask JediLeroy for.
Really, Oakland Athletics? You’re really going to find a position for Bobby Crosby nearly every day — often one of the corner power positions! — even though he hasn’t been even a decent major league hitter since 2005?
I enjoyed that column, I hope he keeps doing it.
Really, xbx? You want to encourage Neyer to keep ripping off bad SNL features?
(This was more enjoyable than a lot of Neyer’s recent material.)
Since I don’t watch SNL, it would be new to me.
Really, Rob Neyer? You want teams to make major personnel decisions based entirely on what’s happened in less than two months?
(Not applicable to the Oakland one, obviously.)
Sure, in a lot of cases the team probably can’t do much about it, but it’s still fun to read. And really he’s presenting it as just snark, not as some serous analysis.
GMs not as skeptical:
Kazmir to the DL
Eaton released
That means Crosby must be next!
Really, Milwaukee Brewers? Everything else is going so well, but does that really mean you have to give the lion’s share of the time behind the plate to Jason Kendall?
OK, I know Neyer is being funny here —
— but I think it’d be great if someone actually designed a BBWAA badge, complete with Latin motto.
“In numeri veritas”
“Non jubilemus in camerae inscribarum”
(I know, that’s awful pidgin.)
Intertubunum? Hah! — un fadum ephemeralis.
Seems as if it’s not just the A’s — everyone wastes a roster spot on an unused shitty Rule Fiver.
Hmmm, could it possibly have anything to do with teams coincidentally all working to ensure that everyone has at least one roster spot making MLB minimum?
mb, I think you’re onto something here. In other team-stupidity news, how in God’s name does Gabe Kapler continue to (not)hit for the Rays while Zobrist who is hitting a ton better plays less? (In the interest of disclosure, I happen to own Zobrist on my fantasy team). Come on Maddon – do the right thing.
Zobrist and Bartlett — WTF?!?
Coupla days late … Goodman on BB s2e11
“Nice state, Florida.”
I’d been fairly lukewarm on Braden in previous years, but he’s really growing on me. And he must be LB’s favorite now with his assesment of florida.
I particularly enjoyed:
Agrd. And like they mentioned on AN last night, I miss the ‘fro…my big brother had a beauty of a ‘fro, growing up. Now he owns a sign shop and is the reason I’m stuck in this shitty, shitty state. Is there a connection? I’ll leave it for you to judge.
!!!
Those are pretty sweet. I had no idea LEGO almost went bankrupt a few years ago…
Finally… Geren’s on the DFA DFA2 train.
Hilarious.
Though there was no single “WTF?” horrible move, I thought yesterday’s game raised quite a few questions and problems about the current roster and lineup decisions:
1. Did Travis Buck run over Geren’s dog or something?
2. With Giambi and DH and Powell presumably semi-unavailable, not only were Crosby and Hannahan both in the lineup, but it was more or less impossible to pinch hit for either one of them. There wasn’t a particular time when I thought pinch-hitting would have been clearly right anyway (although sentiment around here seems to be that pinch-hitting for Crosby is always clearly right), but it would be nice to have the option.
3. Why did we acquire and active Craig Breslow and then use Bailey and (especially) Ziegler against so many left-handed hitters in the ninth? Again, I’m not sure what the optimal move would have been, because three of those hitters were switch-hitters. But in the end, our pitchers just weren’t put in a position to succeed.
3b. (Not related to management) Ziegler throwing strikes to the one RHB of the inning might have helped.
4. Meta-question: Why the hell have we spent the last week or two carrying either 13 pitchers or 6 OF, causing (2) without solving (1) or (3)?
3. I think the A’s get points for not really caring who the closer is, and for (a lot of, if not most of, the time) using the best/most-apt reliever in the highest-leverage situation — they’ve done a lot more of that this year than previous years. But, yeah, they … didn’t do that yesterday. Throwing non-Brodaway-routed strikes would have been nice from both pitchers in the ninth.
3. I think it’s hard to complain about that. I would have been very surprised if they’d used Breslow there. TB didn’t have two straight lhbs coming up at any point, and in any case Breslow was recently dfa’d for sucking.
So often, Davis appears to lack the sort of fundamental, learned intuition that comes with playing zillions of innings of baseball your whole life – baserunning, angles and breaks in the outfield, etc. He’s so, I don’t know, awkward. Uncertain. Mechanical. However fast he is, and whatever the metrics imply about his supposedly superfantastic abilities in CF, I refuse to be believe he is an above average defender. He just looks terrible out there.
And if he can’t run the bases … or defend … or bunt … or hit …
Does anyone else remember the Rajai interview from around month after he joined the A’s?
He credited the Pirates and Giants organizations with developing him into the player he is today. Exactly.
I don’t often praise Brian Sabean, but he really managed to improve his team by trading Matt Morris for Rajai Davis, and then Rajai Davis for nothing.
The Mobile Infantry made me the man I am today.
Did you capture one of the brain bugs?
I will keep fighting and I will win! Would you like to know more?
Chimpanzee Riding A Segway
Things like this explain the face- and genital-eating retribution.
I demand a review of Sugar from one of Free Kraut’s resident cinephiles.
monkeyball? xbhaskarx? bueller?
I hate almost every sports movie. But if other folks watch it and say it’s good, I’ll check it out.
Half Nelson was pretty good. Same directing duo.
In the vein of this request, anybody seen the new Jarmusch
After a month of moving and remodeling a bathroom which I am still not finished with I need some kind of fun. This is my preferred target – though I’m not sure it’s even in the East Bay.
It seems to have gotten poor reviews, though I’ll probably still see it if it ever plays near me.
monkeyball, strangely, does not like Jarmusch.
I haven’t seen anything he’s done in the last 20 years. My mild dislike of him is driven by (a) the tiresomeness of Down By Law and Stranger Than Paradise, and (b) the tiresomeness of his hipper-than-thou public persona.
Dude, we suggested you watch Dead Man and Ghost Dog like three years ago, you should really check them out.
“Dead Man” doesn’t seem like the choice to convert someone who found the earlier films tiresome. “Ghost Dog” and “Broken Flowers” are probably the closest of his films to being mainstream. And I like “Mystery Train” and “Coffee and Cigarettes” for their sheer goofiness.
There is definitely a kind of self-satisfied hipness and winking at the audience in all of them, but it works for me. And he usually works in some stunning cinematography and great (and diverse) soundtracks.
Dead Man is great, though…. The first 20 minutes or so seem made for mb, although the rest might be considered tiresome. And who doesn’t love Neil Young? No one, that’s who. Dead Man and Ghost Dog also might get around the trademark of the self-designated-hipster-elite of putting Bill Murray in your hip movie.
He should get “Year of the Horse” for the scene where the guitarist tears into Jarmusch for being a hipster filmmaker. And because, yeah, Neil is just awesome.
I mean isn’t Dead Man worth it for the Crispin Glover cameo alone?
1. Chastened by mikeA’s smackdown, xbx resorts to the “we did that in a DLD 3 years ago” argument
2. You haven’t suggested how I can get past (b)
Just accept that he’s hipper than
youthou.Something’s got to give. As the season wears on with these poorly played games, I find myself getting distracted and actually singing along to those damn MGD commercials.
last week I had a draft beer when I was on a ?
As much as I loathe those ads, for some reason I find the new Valero tune more insidious.
Are those the “free and easy down the road I go…” jingles?
M-hm.
ew
New theory–FSU can you test this? I seem to get the eternal “your comment is posting” thing when I post a new comment, but not when I reply to someone else’s comment. Is that by chance what is happening to you?
So much for that decision being bad for the A’s.
Not that the other decision was all that great.
This is indeed kinda cool — but even if Matt’s suggestions were taken, it still wouldn’t make costs explicit. I think such a meter should announce, in a loud voice, “Jesus fucking Christ! You’re using too much god-damn power, you motherfucking lazy, wasteful sack of shit!”
I like the tax idea, except of course that the oil companies would game the crap out of it.
You’re damn skippy I price my passions — FREE. KRAUT.
preemptive lunar assault
The moon is a dangerous enemy. It’s harboring fugitives. And cheese. Scads and scads of delicious, yummy cheese.
Cheese-hoarding bastards.
Hi Guys,
I just want to say I’m happy I found this site. The other one has really gotten quite dull and corporate.
It seems like everyone I liked to read hangs out here now…
Welcome! Good to see you again. Have a leaf of bitter ignominy cabbage.
Thanks!
First one’s always free.
Yep, welcome.
Now that monkey’s approved a comment, you won’t have to wait for moderation in the future.
So long as xbx is around, he’ll get all the “moderation” he wants!
Is there a way to see a list of all krauthors?
And is there a way to see other krauthors’ profiles?
Is the “dashboard” link visible in your floating UR nav box?
Also, there really aren’t profiles the same way as **. If people have websites, their name links to it (like monkey’s above).
Whoa, when I first read that I saw “kraut whores”
Guess I’d better git my mind out the cabbage patch…
Or, conversely, try “FKwit” on for size.
That precise pun is part of the point.
The collected body of work for any KRAUThor is known as their KRAUThors d’oeuvre.
So what’s this whole pitch type linear weights thing all about?
a coin on the refresh key — genius!
Sorry, that link is too Daum
<slap>
< chop >
Here, touch my balls.
I disapprove of the dld title, which sustains the dangerous fiction that bitterness is to be avoided and sweetness encouraged.
I disapprove because “morose” is not nearly sophisticated enough vocabulary for this here series ‘o tubes.
No, your objection should be to the adverbial form, which I have on many occasions denounced as a crutch for inferior writers.
But, given that you are an inferior writer, why should I begrudge you your crutch?
Oo! Burn!
Re: the banner
So does anyone know if there are trough urinals in the women’s restroom’s at the coli?
Just trying to ensure gender equity on the blog and all that…
No, that’s where they hide the expensive whiskey.
That actually explains why every single woman I’ve ever been with (3 and a half!) was always crazy
about going to A’s games.You misunderstand me; the expensive whiskey is hidden not in the women’s restroom, but in the trough urinals — to keep it away from the wimminfolk.
Oh. Wait a minute…that means….
(strains head to think)….
I daren’t ask.
I resent that.
On AN recently a fanpost included, parenthetically, the author’s practice of, when taking his 4 year old girl to pee at A’s games, holding her up above the trough urinal. Ewww.
At the Chapel Hill football stadium they have urinal walls. Just stone walls with water constantly running down them, emptying to a shallow little ditch at the bottom.
… designed by sanitary engineers who went to Duke.
Nomar back, Schroder optioned.
Man charged in penis ‘puppet’ incident
Hmmmm….
Timothy Wayne Martin = Art Howe?
Oh, c’mon, who’s never made a puppet out of their penis and been so impressed that they wanted to show the neighbors? At 10 in the morning.
I wonder if it was Heisenberg’s blue meth and clown porn…
(might have been)
All.
Major bugfixes with the database-driven unread comments changes I made on betakraut.
Please go over there, mark things read, post a comment, etc. I think it might really be working perfectly and, if so, would like to move it over here so we aren’t relying on cookies and the mark all read link will work.