- Leopold Bloom: KRAUThor of the year … decade … century:
- Marine Layer discusses Oakland’s hinting at Howard Terminal
- Control freak? I dunno, Jim — would you really know?
- Powell likely to the DL, Slusser tries some freelance cell-phone GM’ing
- Stay in the now?
Now the sauerkraut lover in every family can be happy
Frank’s Quality Kraut Singles make healthy food choices easier. Each serving of sauerkraut contains no fat and only 5 calories, yet packs all the cancer-fighting advantages that make cruciferous vegetables popular. Smith says, “There has never been anything like Frank’s Quality Kraut Singles. It is the biggest innovation in sauerkraut since laborers building the Great Wall of China invented sauerkraut over 2,000 years ago, and the most significant contribution to sauerkraut in the 100 year history of The Fremont Company. Now this healthy, delicious food is a more convenient choice for everyone.”
Don’t anyone let Lew see this, though (emphasis added):
Now places like ballparks and arenas can
add sauerkraut to their condiment offerings and even sell the packets.
Somebody get this done ASAP:
If someone makes the file and e-mails it to me (my screen name at gmail) I’ll have it up tonight.
Also, JediLeroy made a (much) better browser icon for the site that I have not yet put up. It too will go up tonight.
Facts! Figures! Those are the tools of the newspaper trade.
Here it is … in verse: George Brett’s, “Believe Me”
Seriously, notwithstanding the long-lasting preserving properties of vinegar-fermentation, I can never get through a whole jar of kraut at home. Kraut singles may be just the thing for those of us living lonely lives of kraut addiction among unsuspecting family and friends who never touch the stuff.
On a related note: when they deliver your Sheboygans to your seat at AT&T, they come with FREE KRAUT. I even have a picture which I’ll post some day soon.
The people I meet on FREE KRAUT — they’re single-serving friends.
I have a single-serving ballpark, a single-serving team, and a single-serving state.
Until last year, let’s face it, The Tampa Bay Rays (who play in St. Pete, which for those of you who don’t know, would be exactly like calling them the Oakland Giants) were the Washington Generals. Their sole purpose was to be the “home team” to the “visiting” Yankees and Red Sox teams (particularly NY, with Steinbrenner’s influence so big here).
I can get more tonight, if you want. I actually planned to do a photo thingie of the Trop, but I was kind of unsure if I could take a camera into an indoor stadium. I could give FK exclusivity…
If you want to grab me a handful of FREE KRAUT SINGLES (yes, that’s a euphemism) and drop ’em in the mail … I’ll do … something …
email me your address.
done
{pouts}
Oh FUCK THEM. Fuck them and their snark. We’re quite happy with our own.
August 25
Has anyone seen it?
How come so many people are unfamiliar with Whit Stillman’s trilogy of movies about the urban haute bourgeoisie? I would recommend them to any fans of amusing dialogue or Wes Anderson.
I’m a bit annoyed that after almost a decade he’s finally directing, but not writing, another movie… Oh well, I hope Chris Eigeman is in it.
trailers
Metropolitan
The Last Days of Disco
Barcelona
I’ve always been turned off by the critical miasma around them, and the vibe I get from descriptions — I’ve always had the impression that his stuff was like a cross between the respective tiresome aspects of BEE and Anderson …
Guess it can’t hurt to NF ’em.
I would watch them in that order, Disco is set in the early 80s and Barcelona in the early 90s.
I don’t want to see movies that critique my way of life.
What Jane Austen novels have you read?
I was checking Stillman’s Wikipedia page to figure out what he’s been doing for the last ten years…
Assitant commerce secretary, WASP, Michael Kinsley…
When he comes up with the term urban haute bourgeoisie, a character in Metropolitan mentions “WASP” and (Truman commerce secretary) Averell Harriman…
When I took a year off and washed dishes in upstate New York, I would often sit in on jam sessions and play melodeon for the Impoverished Debutantes.
Wes Anderson is too busy playing dress up and polishing his aesthetic to be bothered with creating characters or relationships or conflicts or plots that that are in any way funny, interesting, or engaging. Or maybe I have that wrong. It could be that there is just an enormous, self-satisfied black hole where his alleged talent is supposed to be.
Jesus. When did irony and quirkiness (and weird haircuts! don’t forget the weird haircuts!) become synonymous with artistry?
He’s the guy at the party wearing the blazer and t-shirt, smoking faux-contemplatively and wryly holding forth about contemporary culture. People are gathered ’round, he seems cool, different, a living breathing affront to the status quo but smart, sly, self-contained, knowing. You sidle up, you’re listening, you’re rapt, you feel like part of the in-in-crowd (which exists in opposition to the in-crowd, who are popular but oblivious and have no knowledge of the truly awesome sociocultural elite, of which you – listening to smoking blazer guy – are now a part), but after a few minutes you peek through the haze of quirky hipness and start to actually listen to what he’s saying, at which point the realization slowly dawns on you that he is a totally fucking boring tool.
Sorry.
Wes Anderson gets my hackles up. I don’t know why, exactly. If I ever consent to psychoanalysis, I’ll try to figure it out and report back.
I fucking hate Wes Anderson.
I do like Rushmore, though.
If I remember correctly, monkeyball and/or mikea also dislike Wes Anderson.
I love Rushmore and Bottle Rocket, and I really like The Royal Tenenbaums, but The Life Aquatic was one of the most disappointing movies I have ever seen in the theater. I was expecting it to be great based on the excellent trailer with my favorite New Order song and multiple Bowie songs. Anderson always uses the best music in his films.
“On the run from Johnny Law… it ain’t no trip to Cleveland.”
I fucking hate Wes Anderson.
What about Bottle Rocket?
Would you at least agree he picks music that works well together and is appropriate for his films?
I really
dislikedwas bored by Bottle Rocket.The music in Rushmore was good and effective, albeit idiosyncratic to the point of distraction. As mk sez, WA is far too in love with his own sense of his own aesthetic.
Bored??
Here are just a few of the key ingredients: dynamite, pole-vaulting, laughing gas, choppers. Can you see how incredible this is going to be? Hanggliding… come on!
Not when they’re all presented as longueurs.
What a perfect word for him. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you deserve to work at Baseball Prospectus with a lexicon like that.
I thought Tenenbaums was great, but looking back on it, it may be emotionally manipulative.
I did like the Gene Hackman character, especially his way of dealing with young Paltrow. “What did you think of the play, Dad?”
I agree with you about Bottle Rocket, though. I wanted to like it, but it was just boring.
Those three are great.
OT:
Update on my theory that one need not have seen the first five (or whatever it is) seasons of Lost to be caught up. I watched the season finale last night, and despite only having seen a total of about 3 episodes interspersed throughout the previous seasons, I was able to correctly predict the mysterious contents of the white box. My prediction was initially met with some dubious “maybe”s from the Lost veterans I was watching with.
1. At least you didn’t get into specifics and ruin it for FSU.
2. That’s easy enough for you to predict, perhaps more so than for the regulars, because one of the few episodes you saw before that one revolved around that person and event.
3. I personally don’t derive pleasure from trying to predict what twist will come next, I just sit back and let it blow me away. The big reveals in the season finale changed my understanding of so much that happened before, in ways that you probably can’t appreciate having watched just a few episodes.
From what I can tell, it seems like maybe they’re not breaking any time travel rules. I’m a stickler for time travel rules.
I’m the same way usually (Terminator 1 really bugs me), but I didn’t mind it in BTTF or 12 Monkeys.
Have you seen Primer?
Have you seen Timecrimes? It’s about 85% of the way to really great.
Nope, never heard of it.
Spanish film from last year. Very well directed. The script is decent, but … not ambitious enough. Shrewd decision to not bite off more than he could chew, but … a little unsatisfying as a result.
I watched Timecrimes last night (it takes a year and a half for movies to climb to the top of my queue, apparently).
I liked that it ranged from weird to comic to weird to comic to tragic to comic back to tragic. Credit to the guy who played Hector for carrying off the switch from near-slapstick (e.g. smacking the lab technician in the forehead after clambering out of the tank) to somber (the concluding murder/sacrifice & garden meditation).
And I liked that they knew resolving the temporal knots would have been a mess, so they just … didn’t. You dig yourself that deep, and you’re almost always better off gracefully/ambiguously fading out while still in the hole.
But the set up was problematic: How does Hector 1 end up in the time travel tank in the first place? His actions are instigated by Hector 2 (and, indirectly via the car crash, by Hector 3). Hector 2 and Hector 3 can’t exist if Hector 1 never goes in the tank, but Hector 1 never gets in the tank if not for the catalyzing actions of Hectors 2 & 3.
Maybe I’m missing something. Or maybe that paradox is just a joke the film is telling.
TWHS
Yeah, the tone and the willingness to go with The Irrational (related decisions, I think) really made it for me.
It’s been long enough since I’ve seen it that I can’t recall the specific early plot mechanics … but I don’t recall having had the same objection you did. Not to invalidate it, just that it didn’t bug me for whatever reason.
Haven’t seen Primer. good? I didn’t think 12 Monkeys broke any rules but I haven’t seen it since the 90s… And Back to the Future is great. You can’t go wrong with Christopher Lloyd and Crispin Glover.
Primer is good, but the time travel is so complicated you will need to watch it again, and with the Wikipedia page open.
12 Monkeys: At least one part of it makes no sense. He leaves the future scientists a message on the voicemail telling them that the army of the 12 monkeys is just a group of harmless kids. They send his buddy from jail back in time and he says they just got his message. Not only does that not make sense because the voicemail would have always existed in the future, but even if it did, they could have sent the buddy back at any time, including before he even left the voicemail.
I agree on Lloyd and Crispin Glover.
Rule #1: there is no such thing?
Nah.
1. There is such thing. It happens maybe.
2. But maybe impossible for humans or for humans in this universe/this part of the universe.
3. BUT, maybe more possible in similar universe with crraaaaaaazy island with crrrraaaaaazy properties.
I’m just saying there isn’t much sense to inventing rules to govern something that doesn’t happen.
It’s like TMQ’s constant harping about how superheroes’ superpowers break his superpower rules.
Since you have a 6887 uid on **, I’ll forgive you for now for equating me in some way with Easterbrook….
That’s all it takes? So if I change mine to a later number, I can get away with more? I thought it was just the opposite. Fuck. I’m just getting a new username and I’m starting some shit with EVERYONE.
That’s… not the same at all. And stupid. But then so are superheroes, whereas time travel is cool.
In what way? If time travel happens, who knows how it will work? It’s a question that barely even makes sense.
Who knows how it will work?
Duh: superheroes.
I meant the superhero body organs thing was stupid.
Oh I agree. I also think defining an arbitrary set of rules for time travel is stupid.
But whatever rules one makes up should be somewhat logical and consistent.
The interweaving timelines are fun, but time travel is still problematic. E.g., older Ellie obviously knows what did/will happen with Daniel, but does 2004-2007 Richard have memories of stealing the nuke w/ Jack and Kate? I think the only interpretation that makes sense is what Miles expressed, that their attempts to change what happened can actually only enable it. Which is consistent, but cliched and sort of boring.
Well I think Faraday realized his time travel theories were wrong at the end of the episode with him and Ellie. So that means Miles is right.
I have no idea how they are going to resolve what happened at the end of the finale, it seems like time travel / reset and everyone in the immediate vicinity being killed are the only possibilities. Those are not great options, so it will probably be something else that doesn’t make sense. The only thing I can think of is that there is no reset, and those who were “touched” now have special (possibly Alpert-like) powers.
Time travel in the new Star Trek movie: WTF? Do the writers not know the difference between a black hole and a wormhole?
Christ, what a plot hole.
I double-down on your snarkiness and freely admit to never having bothered to watch the Gilligan hobbit show.
A’s announce 6 personnel moves
1. The second paragraph refers to E. Gonzalez as “Martinez.”
2. Odd that they’d make all those moves and not address the backup catcher situation.
3. It’s gotta suck to be Gio.
And, apparently they were as disgusted as me with yesterday’s performance!
With the way the A’s have been treating their top pitching prospects this season, I wouldn’t be surprised if none of them ever fulfilled their potential.
Yeah, there’s gotta be at least one other shoe dropping soon.
oops
Control freak
Love me some Joe Rut.
(NM/DFA – any idea why the 2nd link here doesn’t show a preview? Is there somehow a limit of 1 preview per comment?)
Not that I’m aware of.
You have to put the class=”previewlink” statement in the link tag to get previews (the plugin is only automatic for posts). Using the link button on the comment form defaults to including it.
Got it. The difference is that the link button in the editor does not include previewlink by default.
Ah… Well there isn’t really anything I can do about that one since it’s built into WP.
According to their Chief Executive, since the indebted can’t be squeezed any further
So What Happens to Willem Dafoe’s Genitals in Lars Von Trier’s “Antichrist”, Anyway?
At least there are no clowns involved.
Hey, Lew — here’s one way around the EIR process:
Are those real or did you use some sort of album artwork generator?
More to the point, given the clear photoshop skills, why haven’t you e-mailed me the banner mk requested?
All real (or at least as real as something turning up on a google image search implies) and zero photoshopping, just lining up the urls and fixing the image heights.
I am comforted to know that I share at least one thing in common with Warren Buffett: I, too, devour printed materials with such (partial) titles as Big Chest …
Says it all
We already learned he’s a Giants sympathizer. What more do you need?
mb is a Giants fan. You should have heard him squeal with delight when his favorite player Mr. Zito went across the bay instead of to the Mets or something.
That’s it. I quit.
Actually, I too am glad he went to the Giants. Then, because it meant I could still watch him sometimes. Now, because he sucks makes the Giants worse, which is awesome.
It’s all true
I squealed with delight when Zito went to the Giants…
Courtesy of new guy dane.c, the JACK CUST, BUNTIN’ MACHINE ani gif:
Message to new guy dane c.:
1. Your comedy
sucksis Easterbrookian.2. Everyone hates
youpaying for Kraut.3. You are a
douchegritty developer of animated gifs.4.
Go awayFling poo with reckless abandon.5. Leave some more Cust ani gifs before you go
Photo of mikeA’s hometown:
At least his hometown isn’t visited regularly by Brandon Fraser
Love that film. Also the Beastie Boys song of the same name.
After Fisher kills Lew, his ghost should return, paint the Coliseum red and rename it Hell.
“Third Deck Drifter”
Powell to “tough it out,” (not) play through pain.
This update is then followed immediately by Forst talking about how Chavez needs to take it easy and do what’s right for his health.
Awesome: we can style text in subject line.
Course you can. It’s just a div with a class assignment. Heck, you could make it non-bold if you really wanted to.
I think this video cuts off just before the Dharma Initiative guys come on screen.
Whoa, that was pretty cool, and very Dharma.
Lineup posted. Sheesh — Shields is a righty, … right? Crosby and Cunningham in.
I thought we’d learned that Crosby sucks [also, at 3B] and Hannah Montana’s defense makes up for the offense difference.
It f**ing sucks to be a Sacramento Kings fan
To whom it may concern:
Note that FK has a new “favicon” courtesy of JediLeroy and a new banner courtesy of dane.c. Many thanks to both of them. Also, mikeA, I have conclusive proof that dane.c is not who you’re afeared he is.
Just as long as he’s not named after that douche who just got off my television. That guy need a 3-iron upside his smarmy, non-funny, poseur, big-ass head of his.
(though the pic is nice)
Great stuff.