Year-End State of the Oakland A’ss ← FREE KRAUT!

Year-End State of the Oakland A’ss 22

27 Dec 2011  |  FreeSeatUpgrade  |Rosterbating

We’ve lost a lot of talent:




A rotation fundament:


And a reliable backside of the rotation guy:




And of course Ham…compliant, compliant Ham.




We did manage to shed some dead weight from the ass-end of the roster:




And freed up a lot of room on the bench:




But even there, you can’t always just look at the bottom line. Landon Powell takes with him a certain Pygophiliac je ne sais quoi that we’re gonna miss.




Everything’s changing. MLB even has a dress code for sportswriters now. Not inspired by him:




But by her:




As ever, our hopes rest with the hungry players with something to prove. These new guys will be unpacking their trunks in Oakland:




Tough enough to up-end a unicorn:




OK Daric, last chance to show us: stud or bum?




Like trying to fill a black hole with toothpicks:




Hot corner




FDLS: Bad ass




Devine, sure. But not the good John Waters kind.




Seriously, Anthony Recker has Hall of Fame caliber tools:




Is Bob Melvin trying to fill the crack in the clubhouse vibe left by Powell? Catchers… More likely, Melvin cannot resist the gravitational pull of Brandon Allen’s badonkadonk:




It’s hard, though, to measure up to the glorious achievements from way back:




I know everyone has the A’s pegged for the bottom of the division. But it says right here that we’ve still got the talent to be there in the end.

22 thoughts on “Year-End State of the Oakland A’ss”

  1. JL Dec 27,2011 8:37 am

    I am both intrigued and a little disturbed by the “Slusterbation” tag.

    "Ain't no man can avoid being born average, but there ain't no man got to be common." — Satchel Paige
    • JL Dec 27,2011 8:37 am || Up

      Also, I suddenly think Beane should try to trade for Marco Scutaro.

      "Ain't no man can avoid being born average, but there ain't no man got to be common." — Satchel Paige
      • andeux Dec 27,2011 9:35 am || Up

        I’m outraged by the lack of Jamie Kotsay

        TINSTAAFK
        • nevermoor Dec 27,2011 10:24 am || Up

          Endorsed. The most talent the A’ss have ever lost.

          "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
          • YonYonson Dec 27,2011 10:28 am || Up

            Yup. And damn… that picture has really made the rounds.

            "Ain't no man can avoid being born average, but there ain't no man got to be common." — Satchel Paige
        • monkeyball Dec 28,2011 8:36 am || Up

          Jamie Kotsay: the Five Guys fries of BWA

          you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • monkeyball Dec 27,2011 9:00 am || Up

      You ain’t bated ’til you’ve groverbated.

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
      • JL Dec 27,2011 9:10 am || Up

        Is that how you know you’ve made it big? Getting bated?

        "Ain't no man can avoid being born average, but there ain't no man got to be common." — Satchel Paige
        • monkeyball Dec 28,2011 8:36 am || Up

          Sometimes you have to bate to get big

          you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
          • YonYonson Dec 28,2011 8:40 am || Up

            Have you seen Idiocracy?

            "Ain't no man can avoid being born average, but there ain't no man got to be common." — Satchel Paige
            • monkeyball Dec 28,2011 8:56 am || Up

              Go ‘way! ‘Batin’!

              you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
              • YonYonson Dec 28,2011 9:10 am || Up

                Ow my balls!

                "Ain't no man can avoid being born average, but there ain't no man got to be common." — Satchel Paige
      • FreeSeatUpgrade Dec 27,2011 10:17 am || Up

        I’m counting on grover for a State of the A’ss prospects thread in January.

        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  2. monkeyball Dec 27,2011 9:02 am

    So what you’re saying is that with the stadium-presuming spending cuts, the A’ss need a free seat upgrade?

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  3. monkeyball Dec 27,2011 2:41 pm

    Forget Ines, I’ll take Olmedo

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • YonYonson Dec 27,2011 2:57 pm || Up

      I always thought Octavio Dotel’s ass was oddly perfectly round.

      Also, is there a team Dotel HASN’T played for? Damn. I’m pretty sure I saw pictures of his time with the Hackensack Bulls during a Google image search.

      "Ain't no man can avoid being born average, but there ain't no man got to be common." — Satchel Paige
      • Future Ed Dec 27,2011 3:33 pm || Up

        I think PTBNL said 14.

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
        • ptbnl Dec 27,2011 6:57 pm || Up

          13 now – HOU, OAK, CHW, KCR, NYM, COL, PIT, ATL, STL, LAD, NYY, TOR, DET.

          If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
  4. doctorK Dec 27,2011 6:56 pm

    Marine Layer is on Athletics After Dark – link

  5. batgirl Dec 28,2011 10:36 am

    Trying to figure out which player has an LA face with an Oakland booty…

    • FreeSeatUpgrade Dec 28,2011 11:51 am || Up

      The roster’s a little short on good faces these days. Recker maybe is the closest to an LA fac with an Oakland booty.

      Sogard, of course, has a Moscow face with the People’s booty.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • spwc2005 (G_S) Dec 29,2011 3:35 pm || Up

        \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS

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