Whores move to San Jose ← FREE KRAUT!

Whores move to San Jose 116

No, really.

116 thoughts on “Whores move to San Jose

  1. monkeyball Aug 31,2011 10:25 am
    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Aug 31,2011 10:52 am || Up

      Shit on a Shingle is a time-honored military tradition.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • monkeyball Aug 31,2011 12:30 pm || Up

        As are many of the practices in my second link.

        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  2. monkeyball Aug 31,2011 10:25 am

    OK, this really is great.

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • Future Ed Aug 31,2011 12:29 pm || Up

      its pretty cool, though he may have been out

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • elcroata Aug 31,2011 12:44 pm || Up

      That was awesome!

      Because survival is insufficient
    • suspicious coin Aug 31,2011 9:29 pm || Up

      I remember watching that game on TV. That *was* great.

      • suspicious coin Aug 31,2011 9:30 pm || Up

        Love that it was a lefty batter vs. Unit.

  3. monkeyball Aug 31,2011 10:29 am

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • nevermoor Aug 31,2011 10:42 am || Up

      Heh.

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • DFA Aug 31,2011 11:39 am || Up

      Is he still worth a draft pick? Sign Tejada designate COJAX

      In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
      • elcroata Aug 31,2011 11:46 am || Up

        He is a fringe Type B in NL and would probably lose it if signed by an AL team (AL and NL are compared separately)

        Because survival is insufficient
        • DFA Aug 31,2011 11:50 am || Up

          well then sign him anyway and designate CoJax. I like Tejada.

          In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
          • monkeyball Aug 31,2011 11:59 am || Up

            Is this another joke?

            you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
            • DFA Aug 31,2011 12:51 pm || Up

              No. If they are going to suck, its better if the A’s suck playing players that I like. For example the A’s should have resigned Rickey instead of playing Matt Watson because its Rickey fucking Henderson.

              In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
              • monkeyball Aug 31,2011 12:53 pm || Up

                After this weekend, I think Miggy finally flushed the last dregs of his likeability.

                you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
                • DFA Aug 31,2011 1:27 pm || Up

                  what did he do?

                  In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
                • Future Ed Aug 31,2011 1:34 pm || Up

                  might be referring to bunt-gate

                  I have $5. No I don\'t.
                • DFA Aug 31,2011 1:35 pm || Up

                  I don’t know what that is.

                  In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
                • Future Ed Aug 31,2011 1:45 pm || Up

                  He was called on to pinch hit in the 10 or 11th inning of sunday’s game. He visible shook his head when he got the sign. Laid down a bunt and “didn’t hustle” to first. When asked about it later he implied that he thought the decision was dumb but said he did his job.

                  I have $5. No I don\'t.
                • nevermoor Aug 31,2011 2:12 pm || Up

                  Anti-Barton is not Barton

                  "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
              • Ice Cream Aug 31,2011 12:57 pm || Up

                Why would you like any player on your team who doesn’t try?

                Where is the good in "good-bye"?
                • Future Ed Aug 31,2011 12:59 pm || Up

                  the A’s are trying?

                  I have $5. No I don\'t.
                • monkeyball Aug 31,2011 12:59 pm || Up

                  And sucks.

                  you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
                • Leopold Bloom Aug 31,2011 3:42 pm || Up

                  It’s Miguel Tejada, god damn it. Screw you all.

                • FreeSeatUpgrade Aug 31,2011 3:47 pm || Up

                  Yes! The Rally Miggi will continue to occupy a warm spot in my heart regardless of what’s he’s done since. Hell, he could go Ugueth Urbina on someone’s ass, and I’d still cheer him when he returned for Old Timer’s Day (if the lame ass A’s franchise bothered to ever hold another Old Timer’s Day).

                  "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
                • Leopold Bloom Aug 31,2011 3:49 pm || Up

                  I lof the Miggy.

                • andeux Aug 31,2011 3:50 pm || Up

                  He’s been dead to me since game 3 of the 2003 ALDS.

                  TINSTAAFK
                • Leopold Bloom Aug 31,2011 3:51 pm || Up

                  don’t hate the Miggy. He was confused by our ‘merican ways. He didn’t know he shouldn’t stop running.

                • suspicious coin Aug 31,2011 9:33 pm || Up

                  I hated him for a long time for that. Given the benefit of time, I’ll remember him more for game 18 (“Miguel Tejada has done it! Miguel Tejada has done it!”)

                • MikeV Aug 31,2011 9:37 pm || Up

                  That’s just bias. Everybody hates Byrnsie because of his play, but Miggy gets a pass for his equally stupid play — and it could very well be argued that Byrnes thought he touched the plate.

                  Now, granted, hating Byrnsie because he turned into a FKing SF HACK is completely different.

                  And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

                  Thanks, and go As.

                • Leopold Bloom Sep 1,2011 12:11 am || Up

                  Miggy and Byrnes are not even close to the same creature. They made equally stupid or gangster-induced mistakes, but they are not even close. Miggy was a significantly better player than Byrnes.

                • MikeV Sep 1,2011 8:37 am || Up

                  I’m not following here — I’ve never tried to say Byrnes was a better player, that would be a dumb statement to make. I’m saying that significantly more people piss and moan about Byrnes’ play in Game 3 where he could have very well assumed he touched the plate, and not about Tejada outright fucking stopping halfway between third and home.

                  And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

                  Thanks, and go As.

                • Leopold Bloom Sep 1,2011 10:17 am || Up

                  I would say it has to do with the quality of the players, Mikey. People are more apt to give Tejada a pass because he did so many other good things. At least I am.

                • MikeV Sep 1,2011 1:29 pm || Up

                  OK.

                  I guess I assume a better player wouldn’t quit in the middle of a play.

                  And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

                  Thanks, and go As.

                • monkeyball Sep 1,2011 1:37 pm || Up

                  TWSS

                  you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
                • suspicious coin Sep 1,2011 9:32 pm || Up

                  No, it’s that Tejada provided other moments that, in hindsight, mitigate the bad stuff. Byrnes…well, there was that one catch, but basically I remember him ending the 2001 ALDS and not touching home in 2003.

                • FreeSeatUpgrade Sep 1,2011 9:54 pm || Up

                  Yes, this. And that that Tejada’s mistakes were always ones of exuberance, from which he mostly seemed to learn lessons, while with Byrnes I always felt like he was just a rockhead who’d be doing stupid things until the day he died, most likely in a catastrophic roadrunner catching attempt.

                  "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
                • MikeV Aug 31,2011 4:10 pm || Up

                  That guy who stopped halfway between third and home and got tagged out because he wanted to yell at the umpire?

                  And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

                  Thanks, and go As.

                • Leopold Bloom Aug 31,2011 4:11 pm || Up

                  see above.

                • dmoas Aug 31,2011 5:47 pm || Up

                  I’m more annoyed at the guy who tried to kick the catcher for giving him an owey instead of going to touch home plate and scoring a much needed run.

                • DFA Aug 31,2011 7:29 pm || Up

                  the ump did signal dead ball.

                  In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
                • Future Ed Aug 31,2011 7:34 pm || Up

                  I don’t recall, but wouldn’t the umpire thrust his hand straight out signalling that there was interference? They are supposed to not stop play, but let everyone know that there was a problem and a call will be made at the end of the play

                  I have $5. No I don\'t.
                • dmoas Aug 31,2011 7:39 pm || Up

                  He signal that he saw the interference, but he never signaled the play dead.

    • monkeyball Aug 31,2011 12:23 pm || Up

      Wow. And Rowand. Sabes just hit “sunk cost” in his eMBA curriculum.

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
      • Future Ed Aug 31,2011 12:30 pm || Up

        I think the giants are using ne “Roster management software” and he checked the two boxes accidentally, expecting to click only one before he hit submit.

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
        • monkeyball Aug 31,2011 12:32 pm || Up

          It defaults to “eliminate sunk costs.” You have to turn that off in preferences.

          you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
      • monkeyball Aug 31,2011 12:32 pm || Up
        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
        • nevermoor Aug 31,2011 2:14 pm || Up

          Also, EVERYONE HITS POORLY if you just look at their 2 strike counts. Context or gtfo.

          "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  4. elcroata Aug 31,2011 11:07 am

    I think it’s a clear sign that the A’s are moving to San Jose – prostitutes often move just ahead of the athletes. World cup in soccer in 2006 in Germany was run under the motto “Die Welt zu Gast bei Freunden” (The world visiting their friends). Pascha (the biggest brothel) had their own “Die Welt zu Gast bei Freundinen” (The world visiting their lady friends):

    Because survival is insufficient
    • monkeyball Aug 31,2011 11:10 am || Up

      Second from left, second from top: Raider Nation?

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
      • monkeyball Aug 31,2011 11:21 am || Up

        You know who also had his flag blacked out?

        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
      • elcroata Aug 31,2011 11:29 am || Up

        Saudi Arabia Raiders. Funny how Croatia was leading the pack for once.

        Because survival is insufficient
        • ptbnl Sep 1,2011 11:05 am || Up

          What happened to the other 16 teams?

          If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
          • elcroata Sep 1,2011 11:15 am || Up

            below. the advertisement goes on

            Because survival is insufficient
    • monkeyball Aug 31,2011 11:14 am || Up

      Sie ist nicht meine spezielle Dame, sie ist mein verdammt Freundin.

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • spwc2010 Aug 31,2011 9:44 pm || Up

      It’s good to see Black Flag get official recognition as a country after all these years. However, shouldn’t they have used the four stripes flag, rather than the literal black flag?

      \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
      • FreeSeatUpgrade Aug 31,2011 9:58 pm || Up

        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  5. 5Aces Aug 31,2011 11:08 am

    Heard about the whores on the radio this morning. A former HS FB star from the Fresno area was arrested last night as one of those new imported pimps.

    Is it better or worse to go from a meth capital and stolen car kings to major exported of pimps and hos?

    Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
  6. monkeyball Aug 31,2011 11:19 am
    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • monkeyball Aug 31,2011 11:23 am || Up
      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  7. FreeSeatUpgrade Aug 31,2011 11:36 am

    I cannot shake the feeling that something very weird or dramatic is going to happen today…

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • the dogfather Aug 31,2011 11:59 am || Up

      Why yes,

      …it IS good to be back. Thanks.

      The meaning of life is not so much found, as it is Made. -- Opus
    • batgirl Aug 31,2011 12:32 pm || Up

      Can you elaborate please? I’ve had a shitty morning and would appreciate the heads up if I need to hide under my desk for the rest of the day.

      • Leopold Bloom Aug 31,2011 3:44 pm || Up

        I think it sounds like a good way to spend the afternoon anyhow.

    • monkeyball Aug 31,2011 12:34 pm || Up

      Too early for the Biden resignation/Huntsman nomination.

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  8. monkeyball Aug 31,2011 12:02 pm
    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  9. Future Ed Aug 31,2011 12:27 pm

    There are better ways to board planes? You don’t say.

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • nevermoor Aug 31,2011 2:15 pm || Up

      All well and good until you have a family that wants to board together.

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
      • Future Ed Aug 31,2011 2:19 pm || Up

        I know there is more to it than this quote, but

        In all cases, parent-child pairs were permitted to board first – reflecting the fact that regardless of the efficiency of any boarding method, families will likely want to stay together.

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • suspicious coin Aug 31,2011 9:38 pm || Up

      ptbnl, why can’t you be this useful? :)

      • ptbnl Aug 31,2011 9:40 pm || Up

        I was supposed to be useful? Damn.

        If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
  10. monkeyball Aug 31,2011 12:27 pm

    ICIP drum major for Justice, Peace and Righteousness.

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • Future Ed Aug 31,2011 12:50 pm || Up

      that is super lame

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
      • nevermoor Aug 31,2011 2:46 pm || Up

        I just wish the reply wasn’t so churlish.

        "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  11. monkeyball Aug 31,2011 12:33 pm
    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • nevermoor Aug 31,2011 2:48 pm || Up

      That sucks. Good thing we’re so heavily subsidizing fossil fuels!

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • suspicious coin Aug 31,2011 9:49 pm || Up

      Yeah, I was going to link that. Tough few weeks for solar; Evergreen also bit the dust recently. I had a few friends at Solyndra but most of them saw the writing on the wall and left several months ago.

      I’ve heard complaints about an inability to compete with cheap Chinese manufacturing. Solyndra and Evergreen also placed pretty heavy bets that silicon would remain expensive but the cost of silicon (along with lots of other raw materials, I hear) have gone down during the recession. And, solar is still something of a niche market/luxury good.

      I think there’s a silver lining in all of this – my opinion is that solar (like other technologies) will be part of a portfolio of solutions, but would be pretty bad as a major component. The manufacturing is extremely expensive and they’re still not particularly durable despite best efforts. Moreover, my friends in the grid-modernization business tell me that solar would be a massive pain in the ass/almost impossible to put on the grid, and there are lots of problems associated with maintaining base load, flicker, etc. I think solar will be a valuable part of a hypothetical solution, but will be best served in niche markets. It’s not at all clear that companies like Solyndra were going after small markets even initially. I think they were trying to hit a home run.

      More and more, I’m hearing from those who study the issue that wind power is starting to distinguish itself. I don’t know the details, so it’s a straight appeal to authority.

      • monkeyball Sep 1,2011 7:14 am || Up

        Seems to me that passive/semi-passive solar is a whole lot more cost-effective to incorporate as a non-grid solution., especially in colder climates.

        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
        • suspicious coin Sep 1,2011 8:02 am || Up

          I’m talking about solar PV; I would categorize passive solar as energy conservation (also a Good Thing).

          • nevermoor Sep 1,2011 9:09 am || Up

            Fair enough. I do like that Lowes will now lease you residential solar panels for less than the panels are projected to save you in electricity. That way lies commercial success.

            "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
      • spwc2010 Sep 1,2011 9:45 am || Up

        I’m excited about the more distant future, with buildings painted with nanotech solar paint. Every painted surface could potentially be on the grid, especially with safer directed wireless power distribution.

        \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
      • suspicious coin Sep 4,2011 8:34 pm || Up

        Also, too: SpectraWatt

  12. monkeyball Aug 31,2011 12:35 pm

    OK, you think I’m a crank? Arneson just made a really odd suggestion.

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • spwc2010 Aug 31,2011 1:20 pm || Up

      My evil side likes his suggestion very much… or, the flipside of his suggestion, which is to have the inner fences as close to the plate as MLB will allow.

      \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
    • nevermoor Aug 31,2011 2:55 pm || Up

      That’s just… stupid. Nearly all of what’s wrong with Mt. Davis is the hills.

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
      • FreeSeatUpgrade Aug 31,2011 3:05 pm || Up

        I don’t agree with that at all. I used to sit in the old bleachers all the time; I never do now, and it’s because they’re built such that every bleacher seat has a part of the outfield obscured from view. And if you’re not in one of the first couple rows of the bleachers, huge swaths of the outfield are blocked. As I’ve recalled several times, to this day I have not seen Terrence Long fail to catch the drive to the gap (by Tino Martinez?) in the first inning of the A’s Game 5 loss to the Yankees in 2000.

        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
        • nevermoor Aug 31,2011 3:19 pm || Up

          Fair enough. I’ve never been a bleacher creature, so that part didn’t impact me.

          "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
          • Leopold Bloom Aug 31,2011 3:48 pm || Up

            [sigh]

            The bleachers before Mt. Davis really were an awesome place to sit.

  13. monkeyball Aug 31,2011 1:59 pm

    Um … Iunno — jobs?

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  14. grover Aug 31,2011 2:54 pm

    Jon Paul Morosi gets paid to write this bullshit.

    The D’backs have a 6 game lead ’cause they’re the hungrier ballclub. Not because the Giants have scored the fewest runs in baseball.

    • monkeyball Aug 31,2011 3:05 pm || Up

      Hunger leads to the runs.

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
      • andeux Aug 31,2011 3:06 pm || Up

        Exactly.

        If the Giants’ sense of pride has been injured, they ought to channel their frustration in a constructive manner — by punishing the baseball. But they have refused.

        QEDMF

        TINSTAAFK
  15. FreeSeatUpgrade Aug 31,2011 4:06 pm

    Just the thing for the rocking science/philosophy geek on your Christmas list:

    Full collection of “Monsters of Grok” teeshirts.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  16. monkeyball Aug 31,2011 5:38 pm

    Man, what is it with kreepy GOP aides/enforcers? These guys look exactly like Chris D (yes that Chris D) and this guy from No Way Out.

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • dmoas Aug 31,2011 5:49 pm || Up

      Just what the guy on the left needs: sideburns to accentuate his giant fucking ears.

      • Leopold Bloom Aug 31,2011 7:07 pm || Up

        one might even say…monkey ears!

        Monkey, J’accuse!

        • JediLeroy Aug 31,2011 7:36 pm || Up

          You guys are horrible.

          az di bobe volt gehat beytsim volt zi geven mayn zeyde
      • suspicious coin Aug 31,2011 9:58 pm || Up

        I resemble that remark!

        • Leopold Bloom Sep 1,2011 12:11 am || Up

          you’re short AND you have big ears?!

  17. suspicious coin Aug 31,2011 10:32 pm
  18. suspicious coin Sep 1,2011 12:38 am
  19. suspicious coin Sep 1,2011 1:09 am

    Anyone have daughters? JC Penny’s had this for sale:

    • nevermoor Sep 1,2011 9:10 am || Up

      Dear god.

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
      • ptbnl Sep 1,2011 9:23 am || Up

        Part of their “back to school” line – sadly they pulled it before I could stock up for Lily.

        If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
    • whiteshoes40 Sep 1,2011 2:54 pm || Up

      ….wow.

  20. ptbnl Sep 1,2011 10:03 am

    Tell us what you really think about that extraordinarily silly, preening, fatally mishandled film.

    If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
  21. ptbnl Sep 1,2011 10:23 am
    If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
    • nevermoor Sep 1,2011 11:20 am || Up

      That AND you have to care about soccer?!?

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  22. ptbnl Sep 1,2011 10:55 am

    Thread convergence … Jack White and ICP cover Mozart’s little-known “Leck mich im Arsch”.

    Insane Clown Posse – Leck Mich Im Arsch by Third Man Records

    If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
  23. ptbnl Sep 1,2011 1:42 pm
    If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.

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