Monkey rage ← FREE KRAUT!

Monkey rage 149

30 Jun 2011  |  monkeyball  |The Grill
  1. Christ, what a trainhole
  2. Nice, but needs an app
  3. I’m pretty sure that 3 or 4 of these guys have played infield for the A’s over the last decade
  4. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU BURNED THE ALTERNATE JERSEYS!!!

  5. Dammit, Arneson beat me to it:

  6. Purdy: still an idiot
  7. Hunh. Didn’t know this (but am not surprised).
  8. The All-FK-bait Funbag

149 thoughts on “Monkey rage”

  1. monkeyball Jun 30,2011 4:17 pm

    Ruh-roh:

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  2. Leopold Bloom Jun 30,2011 4:25 pm

    I thought number eight was going to be really stupid and bad. That made me laugh.

    • monkeyball Jun 30,2011 4:25 pm || Up

      I was really curious what direction it was going to go.

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
      • MikeV Jun 30,2011 4:35 pm || Up

        You have been electronically mail messaged.

        And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

        Thanks, and go As.

        • monkeyball Jun 30,2011 5:11 pm || Up

          Parry, dodge, spin, thrust

          you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • Poppy Jun 30,2011 4:33 pm || Up

      8?

      There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
      • Leopold Bloom Jun 30,2011 4:38 pm || Up

        The Fight Club/Monty Python thing.

        • Poppy Jun 30,2011 4:41 pm || Up

          Oh, okay. I thought you meant the Deadspin thing that published your question.

          There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
        • monkeyball Jun 30,2011 5:10 pm || Up

          Yeah, you meant 9

          you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  3. Poppy Jun 30,2011 4:35 pm

    Page loading is getting slower, I think…

    There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
    • Leopold Bloom Jun 30,2011 4:39 pm || Up

      Yes. Slow FK is slow.

      and

      “You are posting too quickly. Slow down.”

      Do we have a cache limit here perhaps?

      • andeux Jun 30,2011 5:00 pm || Up

        FK hasn’t been the same since they started testing for amphetamines.

        TINSTAAFK
        • monkeyball Jun 30,2011 5:11 pm || Up

          Really need to invite Charlie Sheen here

          you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
          • suspicious coin Jun 30,2011 10:04 pm || Up

            Speaking of Sheen.

            SI: Everyone in the cast I spoke to says they’d do it.
            Sheen: Right on. Let me tell you a story. We had this party at my place a few months ago to watch Major League. It was awesome. The beard was there — Brian Wilson, from the Giants. We had Eddie Murray and Kenny Lofton. And I got David Ward to introduce the film. Colin Farrell showed up. And when my big strikeout at the end comes on, the place goes nuts like we’ve never even seen the movie before. I’m in between my two girlfriends, and I look over and there’s Colin Farrell giving me a thumbs-up. I reach behind me for a fist bump from Brian Wilson, who goes, “Winning!” I’m telling you, David Ward created a baseball classic, and baseball is all that matters in the world. You know, I always wonder what I’m going to be in the middle of when I die. And I just hope it’s not in the middle of the greatest f—ing pennant race ever.

            • whiteshoes40 Jun 30,2011 10:19 pm || Up

              …I haven’t paid a whole lot of attention to the Charlie Sheen nonsense over the past few months, but after reading that interview — yep, dude’s kinda crazy.

              • Leopold Bloom Jul 1,2011 3:57 pm || Up

                Practicing acute alcoholics and drug addicts are rarely sane.

      • nevermoor Jun 30,2011 11:00 pm || Up

        Sorry guys. I don’t know what the problem is, and have been at home awake about 3 hours this week (and at home asleep about 10). I’m out of town this weekend too.

        Hopefully next week will be saner.

        "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
        • dmoas Jun 30,2011 11:42 pm || Up

          We’ll live.

        • suspicious coin Jul 1,2011 7:02 am || Up

          You need to take your unpaid volunteer position more seriously

          • andeux Jul 1,2011 8:57 am || Up

            I knew we shouldn’t have given him that contract extension.

            TINSTAAFK
            • Leopold Bloom Jul 1,2011 3:58 pm || Up

              He really is just flaunting it in our faces now.

          • ptbnl Jul 1,2011 9:19 am || Up

            IIRC it’s not just unpaid, but he actually pays (hosting fees) for the privilege.

            If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
            • nevermoor Jul 1,2011 9:27 am || Up

              Yeah, but very minimal.

              "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
              • the dogfather Jul 1,2011 1:10 pm || Up

                Please accept Mr. Weiner’s beer back, then.

                The meaning of life is not so much found, as it is Made. -- Opus
                • nevermoor Jul 1,2011 2:23 pm || Up

                  Absolutely not

                  "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
              • DFA Jul 1,2011 2:11 pm || Up

                if you need help with the back end I would be willing to step up more.

                In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
                • monkeyball Jul 1,2011 2:23 pm || Up

                  twdfas

                  you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
                • nevermoor Jul 1,2011 2:24 pm || Up

                  Well, if you have any ideas for why things got slow very recently on the frontend (but not the backend) when there is no DB overhead, I’d love to hear ’em.

                  Otherwise, at some point we should probably upgrade to WP 3, but it would take considerable effort to get things working again.

                  "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
                • DFA Jul 1,2011 3:06 pm || Up

                  I have no idea with that. I don’t have much WP experience, its mostly drupal and joomla for me but I would be willing to take on looking at moving the site to either WP 3 or a drupal install.

                  In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
                • ptbnl Jul 1,2011 3:48 pm || Up

                  Hmmm … I may be looking for a drupal developer.

                  If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
                • DFA Jul 1,2011 3:59 pm || Up

                  I wouldn’t use the term developer… more like someone that can try not to screw it up that bad.

                  In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
                • JediLeroy Jul 1,2011 4:33 pm || Up

                  Note to self: learn drupal.

                  az di bobe volt gehat beytsim volt zi geven mayn zeyde
                • suspicious coin Jul 1,2011 10:23 pm || Up

                • Leopold Bloom Jul 2,2011 1:47 am || Up

                  you channeling Jennifer?!

                • monkeyball Jul 2,2011 9:30 am || Up

                  One of my dream projects is to have someone in Hollywood do a live-action film of DD, starring Bruce Willis.

                  you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
                • Leopold Bloom Jul 2,2011 12:00 pm || Up

                  you think he would make a good DD? You think he could do the voice?

                • monkeyball Jul 3,2011 6:42 am || Up

                  Absofreakinlutely.

                  Either him, or Joe Lieberman.

                  you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
                • Leopold Bloom Jul 3,2011 7:04 am || Up

                  Liberman I could see.

                • obliquè Jul 1,2011 3:53 pm || Up

                  The account doesn’t have any console access, does it?

                  I’m useless without a command line.

                • Leopold Bloom Jul 1,2011 3:59 pm || Up

                  GOTO 30

                • nevermoor Jul 2,2011 4:01 am || Up

                  My access to the server is limited by what cPanel makes available.

                  "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
                • MikeV Jul 2,2011 11:11 am || Up

                  Depending on the version of cpanel there may be a section to request shell access

                  And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

                  Thanks, and go As.

                • nevermoor Jul 2,2011 11:43 am || Up

                  cPanel X (also called 2 accelerated)

                  I know they won’t let me run command line stuff from PHP code though.

                  "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
                • MikeV Jul 2,2011 1:54 pm || Up

                  poke around and see if there is somewhere that you’re allowed to grant ssh access to users.

                  On my Site5 hosting I have to submit a request for it on a per user basis, but it’s still done through cpanel (submitting the request, I mean, not actually accessing via ssh)

                  And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

                  Thanks, and go As.

                • nevermoor Jul 2,2011 6:40 pm || Up

                  Will do.

                  "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
                • 斜め Jul 3,2011 8:12 am || Up

                  From what I can tell by googling, the free plan (which I’m assuming we’re on) doesn’t permit shell/ssh access.

                • nevermoor Jul 3,2011 9:21 am || Up

                  We in fact are not on the free plan. We are on the standard annual.

                  "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
                • 斜め Jul 3,2011 9:41 am || Up

                  Wow..go us!

                  If you would like another pair of eyes poking around, please feel free to shoot me an email. And I totally understand if you do not want that :-)

                • MikeV Jul 3,2011 10:36 am || Up

                  Looking for more power or a function which is not available on shared hosting? Our VPS servers give you root shell access allowing you to install any application, scripting language or service allowing you to run the web application of your choice perfectly:
                  Click here to find out more about VPS servers

                  Guess not.

                  And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

                  Thanks, and go As.

                • oblique Jul 3,2011 10:47 am || Up

                  Was that to me, MikeV? I’m going off of old knowledge, that had us hosted on byethost, not site5.

                • MikeV Jul 3,2011 10:51 am || Up

                  No, it was a reply to 斜め who said there was no shell access.

                  Need to upgrade the plan for that, assuming it’s bytehost and not site5.

                  And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

                  Thanks, and go As.

                • oblique Jul 3,2011 10:55 am || Up

                  I am 斜め — changed it back to avoid confusion (that went well..)

                  NM gave me login info in late 2009, which is byethost. When I log in with that, I get a VistaPanel (not a cpanel), and a lot of messaging trying to convince me to upgrade to a paid plan (which we already are, according to NM).

                  So I’m assuming that my info is outdated, and/or that I’m confused.

                • JediLeroy Jul 3,2011 3:33 pm || Up

                  I am 斜め — changed it back to avoid confusion (that went well..)

                  Well, I thought it was cool while it lasted.

                  az di bobe volt gehat beytsim volt zi geven mayn zeyde
                • nevermoor Jul 3,2011 5:08 pm || Up

                  Yeah, that’s the old one. We ended up using too many resources for it, so I upgraded.

                  "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
                • dmoas Jul 1,2011 6:32 pm || Up

                  What do you mean by “no DB overhead”?

                • nevermoor Jul 2,2011 4:02 am || Up

                  I mean the last time we had a slowdown it was because I never optimized the DB so the overhead was choking things.

                  "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
                • dmoas Jul 2,2011 7:14 am || Up

                  I’m not sure how you have the DB (or DBs) set up, but I can imagine that the query/table combination has gotten big enough to hit the limit of what the server-side processor can handle instantly which may be causing a drag.

                • nevermoor Jul 2,2011 12:00 pm || Up

                  I’ll try weeding the unread comments table, but after that the only option would be to delete posts / comments.

                  Here’s what we’ve got:
                  [Image too wide to include]

                  "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
                • dmoas Jul 2,2011 4:08 pm || Up

                  Based on the sizes, that general comments table seems pretty big and could be a part of the hassle. Not sure what you’d do about it either since there’s no real “good” (i.e. not time consuming or involving restructuring the site) solution.

                  Not sure how much of a pita it would be, but you could try archiving a large chunk of the comments table into a new table and seeing if that speeds things up again. If that does fix, we know the culprit and brainstorm longer term solutions. But if that doesn’t fix it, then it’s likely something else and we can cross off database size as the problem.

                • nevermoor Jul 2,2011 6:41 pm || Up

                  I can backup and then delete a bunch of rows if that would help.

                  Also, I bet the databases are whatever the default DB system in phpMyDatabase is. Maybe a different DB type is faster?

                  "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
                • dmoas Jul 2,2011 9:37 pm || Up

                  Possibly. But changing anything now is sort putting the cart before the horse. If creating a backup and removing older posts speeds things up, then it may be necessary to make some adjustments. If it doesn’t fix it, I wouldn’t consider changing something that’s been working perfectly fine until now.

                • DFA Jul 3,2011 12:26 pm || Up

                  Whats in WP Options?

                  In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
                • nevermoor Jul 3,2011 5:11 pm || Up

                  I can’t check from here. Will let you know.

                  "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
                • DFA Jul 3,2011 5:36 pm || Up

                  no worries. if an overhaul is needed I could put it on drupal and I think I would be able to get auto updating comments.

                  In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
                • nevermoor Jul 4,2011 1:11 pm || Up

                  The reason I initially picked WP is that I was able to implement unread comment tracking. Can drupal do that?

                  "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
                • DFA Jul 4,2011 9:31 pm || Up

                  its something that im trying to figure out.

                  In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
  4. Poppy Jun 30,2011 5:08 pm

    I’m finally going to see Hangover 2 tonight, and it better be the funniest god damn thing ever.

    There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
    • Leopold Bloom Jun 30,2011 5:14 pm || Up

      I’ve heard that Horrible Bosses is the one for that. Not out for another week.

    • doctorK Jun 30,2011 10:04 pm || Up

      If you liked the first one, then you’ve seen the second one

    • Poppy Jun 30,2011 11:18 pm || Up

      Well, it wasn’t the funniest thing ever. Just funny. But not nearly as funny as the first one, which had me sobbing with laughter multiple times.

      There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
      • Poppy Jun 30,2011 11:20 pm || Up

        On the other hand, looking at Bradley Cooper for a couple of hours will always cheer me up.

        There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
        • Leopold Bloom Jul 1,2011 3:59 pm || Up

          Me too. He’s dreamy.

          • monkeyball Jul 2,2011 9:41 am || Up

            He’s no Timothy Olyphant

            you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
            • Leopold Bloom Jul 2,2011 12:03 pm || Up

              The REALLY creepy thing for me about Tim Olyphant is that he’s a dead ringer–looks and mannerisms–of an ex-AA sponsor of mine, who also happened to be a gay dom. It’s kind of impossible for me to see him and not think of my old sponsor.

              • dmoas Jul 2,2011 4:12 pm || Up

                So you could easily see him playing the Tim Robbins role in a Rocky Horror Picture Show remake?

                • FreeSeatUpgrade Jul 2,2011 5:19 pm || Up

                  Tim Curry, I think you mean. And if Olyphant’s in as Frank-n-Furter we’d be sure to land Ian McShane to reprise Sarandon’s Janet Weiss.

                  "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
                • Leopold Bloom Jul 3,2011 7:06 am || Up

                  No, my guy was DEFINITELY a top. I’m not sure, but I think Frank was both top/bottom.

            • Poppy Jul 2,2011 6:16 pm || Up

              Who?

              There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
              • JediLeroy Jul 2,2011 6:26 pm || Up

                az di bobe volt gehat beytsim volt zi geven mayn zeyde
                • monkeyball Jul 3,2011 6:47 am || Up

                  you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • dmoas Jun 30,2011 11:44 pm || Up

      So what I’m gathering from all this, is that if you only laughed once during the first one, you probably shouldn’t bother with the second?

  5. nevermoor Jun 30,2011 11:01 pm

    1: Did they think it was Joe’s company?

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  6. FreeSeatUpgrade Jul 1,2011 1:14 pm

    Re 4: The team’s cover story is that the fire stemmed from an overcharged battery for Fuentes’ remote-controlled airplane. But in classic Illuminati “hide in plain sight” style, the real story is revealed:

    In a smoky clubhouse, managing general partner Lew Wolff sat at a table, sipped on a root beer float and cracked a couple of jokes about how this could have been his ticket to a new ballpark, playfully chiding his players for extinguishing the flames.

    Clubhouse manager Steve Vucinich approached Wolff and whispered, “Nobody saw you set that, did they?”

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • monkeyball Jul 1,2011 1:23 pm || Up

      Someone should confiscate Vuc’s stapler.

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
      • Leopold Bloom Jul 1,2011 4:01 pm || Up

        I’ve been told I may listen to the clubhouse radio at a reasonable volume from 10 to 11 am.

  7. FreeSeatUpgrade Jul 1,2011 3:20 pm

    Roster moves! Harden off 60-day to start tonight, and to make room on the 40-man, Bobby Cramer gets DFA’d.

    Also FDLS back up, Trystan “Isolde” Magnuson back down.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • monkeyball Jul 1,2011 3:34 pm || Up

      I thought for sure yesterday he’d give up 5-6 runs and be left in to eat innings: Trystan in the Wind

      At ASB: Trystan by the Pool

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
      • FreeSeatUpgrade Jul 1,2011 3:48 pm || Up

        Gettin’ his dance groove on: Trystan the Night Away.

        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
        • DFA Jul 1,2011 4:00 pm || Up

          So he can be heard: Tyrstan Shout!

          In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
      • Leopold Bloom Jul 1,2011 4:02 pm || Up

        Damn you and your clever references! Now I wanna hear old Dire Straits…

  8. DFA Jul 1,2011 4:05 pm

    Did anyone read the how to contend before 2016 piece at **. What a piece of horseshit.

    In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
    • Leopold Bloom Jul 1,2011 4:12 pm || Up

      Napoleon’s not much an analyst. He is not well-liked here.

      • DFA Jul 1,2011 5:11 pm || Up

        no he really isn’t.

        In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
        • MikeV Jul 1,2011 5:52 pm || Up

          We talked about this last night.

          Note how he is now saying that being 13th in xFIP doesn’t matter, it SEEMS LIKE THE A’S HAVE A GOOD PITCHING STAFF

          And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

          Thanks, and go As.

          • grover Jul 1,2011 6:07 pm || Up

            Question.

            What do we make of an A’s team 3rd in ERA, tied for 12th in x-FIP and 25th in UZR/150?

            The A’s also rank 5th overall in Road ERA, so we can’t just chalk it up to park effect.

            • MikeV Jul 1,2011 6:17 pm || Up

              I’m not sure.

              Then again, I’m not running around saying how wonderful (or bad) the pitching is.

              And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

              Thanks, and go As.

              • Leopold Bloom Jul 1,2011 6:30 pm || Up

                BUT. If you did go around saying how wonderful the pitching was, you WOULD know.

                So the only logical thing is for you to go around saying it. Then you’ll have answers.

                • MikeV Jul 1,2011 6:45 pm || Up

                  Cause I saw it with my own eyes?

                  And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

                  Thanks, and go As.

                • Leopold Bloom Jul 1,2011 9:18 pm || Up

                  works for me.

            • suspicious coin Jul 1,2011 10:24 pm || Up

              What’s the A’s DER? It could be BABIP-suppression by home park.

    • grover Jul 1,2011 5:48 pm || Up

      Did you not notice who was listed as the author?

      A horse’s ass ALWAYS produces horseshit.

      • Future Ed Jul 1,2011 11:17 pm || Up

        ni, dnr

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
        • Leopold Bloom Jul 2,2011 1:52 am || Up

          Have you seen it? It’s really, really long.

          Barry Zuckerkorn

    • lenscrafters Jul 5,2011 3:07 pm || Up

      Of course the A’s can compete before 2016 if they’re operating in Nico’s world where Willingham + Bailey is a fair and realistic trade for Domonic Brown.

      • nevermoor Jul 6,2011 9:54 am || Up

        Seems like a lot to give up…

        "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
      • DFA Jul 6,2011 12:35 pm || Up

        How is that not a fair trade?

        Bailey is probably worth 2 B specs.
        Willingham is probably worht a B- and a C.

        Do you think Brown is worth 2 B a B- and a C?

        In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
        • grover Jul 6,2011 12:53 pm || Up

          You’re over-thinking the equation.

          Did Nico come up with the plan? Then it’s bullshit.

        • lenscrafters Jul 6,2011 2:14 pm || Up

          Because while surplus value is important, using it as an end all, be all to evaluate trades is a mistake. Technically, 3 B prospects may provide the same value as one A prospect but I think it fails to capture just how valuable the concentration of WAR in one potential star level player is.

          And it’s not even applicable to real life. Do you think Anaheim would take the equivalent of 3 Steve Parkers for Mike Trout? Would 3 Adrian Cardenas be enough for Jason Heyward two years ago? It seems to me that teams are also not evaluating solely on surplus value, especially when it comes to young top end talent, for good reason.

          • nevermoor Jul 6,2011 2:18 pm || Up

            I dunno. If you had 3 Adrian Cardenii the world would be your oyster.

            "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
            • MikeV Jul 6,2011 2:54 pm || Up

              You really can’t have enough Adrian Cardenii.

              And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

              Thanks, and go As.

  9. obliquè Jul 1,2011 5:23 pm

    Ellis. Single to LF with CarGon on base to start out his non-A’s career.

    • Leopold Bloom Jul 1,2011 5:28 pm || Up

      [Ellis fans grit teeth.]

      • Poppy Jul 1,2011 6:28 pm || Up

        I didn’t. Because HE’S PLAYING, like he wants to & deserves to… not parked on a bench. He wouldn’t have hit in Oakland because he wouldn’t be playing.

        But all the stuff I said in private yesterday still also stands. :P

        There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
      • obliquè Jul 1,2011 6:38 pm || Up

        I didn’t either. I like Weeks, and I think this was the right call for the A’s, but I’m happy that Ellis has a starting job and I want him to kick ass at it. I also want the Rockies to win the NL West by a lot, and if Ellis helps them do that, I’m a happy camper.

        • MikeV Jul 1,2011 6:49 pm || Up

          precisely. This is basically the best case scenario.

          and then he retires after he helps Colorado knock off the fuckbag gnats in the NL West and then comes back to Oakland as infield coach for life.

          And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

          Thanks, and go As.

        • Poppy Jul 1,2011 6:55 pm || Up

          Oh, he is kicking ass right now. Just doubled.

          There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
          • Soaker Jul 1,2011 7:04 pm || Up

            What a relief it has to be to find yourself in a lineup with Carlos Gonzalez hitting in front of you and Helton and Tulo behind you. The last time he was in that situation the guys behind him would have been Tejada and pre-injury Chavez.

            What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
            • Future Ed Jul 1,2011 11:19 pm || Up

              yeah, Ellis was never in a lineup with Carlos GOnzalez

              I have $5. No I don\'t.
              • Soaker Jul 2,2011 7:25 am || Up

                That was not the .335/.400/.559 Special Coors Field Edition of Gonzalez.

                What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
    • MikeV Jul 1,2011 5:53 pm || Up

      Good for him. Come back soon as IF coach.

      And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

      Thanks, and go As.

    • Soaker Jul 1,2011 6:28 pm || Up

      2 RUN HOME RUN WOOOOOO

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
    • Soaker Jul 1,2011 6:51 pm || Up

      Intentional walk to CarGon to pitch to Ellis. DOUBLE down the left field line to drive in a run. Needs the triple for the cycle, should get one more AB.

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
      • nevermoor Jul 2,2011 4:04 am || Up

        the PTBNL just improved.

        "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
        • ptbnl Jul 2,2011 8:16 am || Up

          Every day in every way I get a little better.

          If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
          • nevermoor Jul 2,2011 12:02 pm || Up

            1 up

            "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
            • Leopold Bloom Jul 2,2011 12:36 pm || Up

              1UP

              • nevermoor Jul 2,2011 6:42 pm || Up

                "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
                • dmoas Jul 2,2011 9:39 pm || Up

                  Oh that is just awesome. Gifs need sound so we hear the 1-UP sound each time.

          • Leopold Bloom Jul 2,2011 12:04 pm || Up

            you do. you really do.

          • MikeV Jul 2,2011 1:55 pm || Up

            one day i’m gonna buy your jersey

            And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

            Thanks, and go As.

          • FreeSeatUpgrade Jul 2,2011 5:21 pm || Up

            I can thank the Pink Panther movies for my knowledge of that little bit of self-help mantra.

            "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  10. FreeSeatUpgrade Jul 1,2011 11:16 pm

    It maybe possibly might be an interesting heavyweight championship fight tomorrow, Wladimir Klitschko vs David Haye, on HBO at 1:45 PM (actual fight sometime thereafter). W. Klitschko’s held the main belts in conservative boring fashion for a few years (and most of the other belts are held by his brother Vitali, whom he’ll never fight). Haye has seriously pumped the venom in the pre-fight hype, including a wearing a shirt showing him holding the decapitated heads of both Klitschkos. He’s sure to inflame the German crowd into full-throated zeal, wrestling heel style.

    Boxing’s lameness being what it is, the smart bet’s probably on Klitschko to win another tedious defensive fight, generally continuing the sport’s descent into irrelevance. But it’s the most promising heavyweight championship fight in like a decade, so I’ll tune in.

    Good Grantland preview    , and some predictions from bleacherreport and sbn’s badlefthook.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • MikeV Jul 1,2011 11:38 pm || Up

      I was gonna say,

      boxing still exists?

      And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

      Thanks, and go As.

      • Leopold Bloom Jul 2,2011 1:53 am || Up

        No. Guys fighting in cages replaced it. You can thank the Fertitta Brothers. Just don’t look too closely at them.

  11. Leopold Bloom Jul 6,2011 1:04 pm

    I can no longer resist:

    Despite all my rage, I am still just a monkey in a cage.

    • dmoas Jul 6,2011 7:31 pm || Up

      Despite minimum wage, I am still just an ape on the stage.

      • oblique Jul 7,2011 12:22 am || Up

        Despite my advanced age, I am still just a sloth wearing beige.

        • the dogfather Jul 7,2011 8:05 am || Up

          A few tweets are sage, most are just twit-age.

          The meaning of life is not so much found, as it is Made. -- Opus

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