Surnacronyms, because we should be able to knock this out of the FKing park ← FREE KRAUT!

Surnacronyms, because we should be able to knock this out of the FKing park 125

11 Feb 2011  |  nevermoor  |FKwiz

So we weren’t the first to do 25, but we can do better. I mean, “Zippers Infield Marvelously, Mashes Everything, Remains Most Awesome National”? REALLY?

Let’s try to do one top level comment per player and reply with alternates. I’ll pull over the ones from other discussions and post below. The A’s only have a 40-man roster, so I’ll paste all 40 below. Hell, maybe you’ll want to do some of the won’t-play-until-our-whole-team-explodes guys.

I’m adding links to the threads for people we’ve started. Ultimately I’d like to pick a winner, but obviously that’s not a rush job

125 thoughts on “Surnacronyms, because we should be able to knock this out of the FKing park”

  1. nevermoor Feb 11,2011 10:14 am

    Can’t Always Hit In Linedrives, Losers

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  2. nevermoor Feb 11,2011 10:14 am

    Bunting Always Reduces The Offense’s Numbers

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  3. nevermoor Feb 11,2011 10:14 am

    Everybody Loves Lichtman’s Infield Stats

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  4. nevermoor Feb 11,2011 10:14 am

    Can’t Really Insure; Suspicious Physical

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Feb 11,2011 10:57 am || Up

      Caught Really Icky Social Parasite.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • monkeyball Feb 11,2011 1:53 pm || Up

        Caught Red-handed In Sheen’s Presence

        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  5. nevermoor Feb 11,2011 10:15 am

    Couldn’t Understand Strange Transaction

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  6. nevermoor Feb 11,2011 10:26 am

    Man Admits Thousand Sexually Unique Issues

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  7. nevermoor Feb 11,2011 10:28 am

    Remarkably Outlandish Shoulder Surgery

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  8. nevermoor Feb 11,2011 10:29 am

    Wins Usually Endure; Rules The Zone

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  9. nevermoor Feb 11,2011 10:35 am

    Harmed And Routinely Disabled; Exciting Name

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • andeux Feb 11,2011 11:13 am || Up

      Hits And Runs Don’t Exist Now.

      TINSTAAFK
      • spwc2010 Feb 11,2011 11:56 am || Up

        His Arlington Rejection Denotes Expired Nastiness

        \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
  10. spwc2010 Feb 11,2011 11:53 am

    Coming Round August Masterful Emergency Relief

    \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
  11. Poppy Feb 11,2011 12:07 pm

    So, What Evaluators Envisioned Never Emerged, Yes?

    There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
    • ptbnl Feb 11,2011 12:19 pm || Up

      less pessimistically

      Sadly What Evaluators Envisioned Never Emerged Yet

      If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
    • lenscrafters Feb 11,2011 12:36 pm || Up

      Slappy Ways Eviscerate Expectations, Not Encouraging YaknowhatImean?

    • monkeyball Feb 13,2011 9:34 am || Up

      Singles Will Eventually Erode, Never Escape Yard

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  12. 5Aces Feb 11,2011 12:21 pm

    Rarely Outstanding; Stupid Ankle Limits Effective Stepping

    Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
    • Poppy Feb 11,2011 12:52 pm || Up

      more optimistically

      Rollicking Over Sacks After Launching Effective Shot

      There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
  13. 5Aces Feb 11,2011 12:33 pm

    While Internet Last Lists in National’s Gear-Historically A Marlin

    Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
  14. nevermoor Feb 11,2011 12:34 pm

    Kludgy Offense, Ultimate Zone Man, Altogether Not Our Finest Fellow

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  15. nevermoor Feb 11,2011 12:36 pm

    Despite Everything, Loss Of Swisher Sends A New Toy One Summer

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  16. aardvark Feb 11,2011 12:40 pm

    Triple A Yielded Lackluster Offensive Results

  17. nevermoor Feb 11,2011 12:45 pm

    Just Another Career Kindness Someone Once Needed

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  18. nevermoor Feb 11,2011 12:47 pm

    Great Ojos; Not Zen Always; Likely ERA: Zero

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  19. aardvark Feb 11,2011 1:06 pm

    Shouldn’t Underperform Zips Un-Kind Impression

  20. andeux Feb 11,2011 1:07 pm

    Giving Information About My Butt Injections

    TINSTAAFK
    • JediLeroy Feb 12,2011 5:54 am || Up

      Gaffe Invokes At Minimum Bitter Indignation

      az di bobe volt gehat beytsim volt zi geven mayn zeyde
  21. andeux Feb 11,2011 1:19 pm

    Exciting Route Is Comical, But You Really Need Exceptional Speed

    TINSTAAFK
  22. nevermoor Feb 11,2011 1:46 pm

    Note that I’ve added links to the appropriate threads so you can see who has none, and can jump directly to the suggestions for whoever strikes your fancy.

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  23. 5Aces Feb 11,2011 1:58 pm

    Occupational UCL Tear Makes A’s Nervous

    Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
    • JediLeroy Feb 12,2011 6:14 am || Up

      Others Unlikely To Match Awesome Name

      az di bobe volt gehat beytsim volt zi geven mayn zeyde
  24. nevermoor Feb 11,2011 2:06 pm

    Player Entertains Nicely Now I Notice Great Things Others Neglect

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  25. nevermoor Feb 11,2011 2:09 pm

    Delightful Emphatic Joy Emits Seeing Useful Stats

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  26. nevermoor Feb 11,2011 2:12 pm

    Crushes Anything Reasonably Thrown, Exuding Runs

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • ptbnl Feb 11,2011 2:23 pm || Up

      Can’t Apparently Reproduce Triple-a Experience Reliably

      If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
  27. nevermoor Feb 11,2011 2:13 pm

    Dream’s Over Once Legs Improve To The Least Extent

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  28. nevermoor Feb 11,2011 2:14 pm

    Can’t Always Reach Drives Ellis Never Allows Successfully

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  29. nevermoor Feb 11,2011 2:27 pm

    Brainy Reliever Experienced Significant Level Of Winning

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • JediLeroy Feb 12,2011 6:09 am || Up

      Brainy Reliever Exposes Sexy Left Out Window

      az di bobe volt gehat beytsim volt zi geven mayn zeyde
  30. nevermoor Feb 11,2011 2:30 pm

    A Nice Development: Expects Run Support Often Now

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  31. spwc2010 Feb 11,2011 3:57 pm

    Foil Us Every Night The Easy Slowballs

    \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
    • nevermoor Feb 11,2011 4:09 pm || Up

      Frequent Use Eventually Negates The Entire System

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • monkeyball Feb 13,2011 9:39 am || Up

      Fucked-Up Eephus Nearly Ties Earthworm Speed

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
      • spwc2010 Feb 13,2011 11:48 am || Up

        that’s f(k)’n great.

        \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
  32. nevermoor Feb 11,2011 5:08 pm

    Makes Ornery Noises; Keeps Everyone Yelling, Brawling, And Loving Life

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  33. nanotrebuchet Feb 11,2011 7:41 pm
  34. nanotrebuchet Feb 11,2011 7:41 pm

    Made Everyone Cringe; Is Retired.

  35. nanotrebuchet Feb 11,2011 7:47 pm

    Too easy:

    Killed Off Championship Hopes

  36. nanotrebuchet Feb 11,2011 7:50 pm

    He Actually Tried To Encourage Beane’s Economic Replacement Giambi

  37. nanotrebuchet Feb 11,2011 7:51 pm

    His Independent League Journey Understated Suckiness

  38. nanotrebuchet Feb 11,2011 7:54 pm

    Brainy, Rowdy, Always Deep; Likes Enraging You

    • JediLeroy Feb 12,2011 6:57 am || Up

      Badass Revolves Around Disabled List Every Year

      az di bobe volt gehat beytsim volt zi geven mayn zeyde
  39. nanotrebuchet Feb 11,2011 7:57 pm
  40. nanotrebuchet Feb 11,2011 8:08 pm

    Subbed Crosby; Underrated Teammate Ably Represented Oakland

  41. nevermoor Feb 11,2011 8:13 pm

    Zoom? Inexact. Easy Gliding Longitudinal Ephus? Right.

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  42. nevermoor Feb 11,2011 8:14 pm

    Basically Replacement Action Ability Despite Excellent Numbers

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  43. nevermoor Feb 11,2011 8:15 pm

    Best Age Is Likely Each Year

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  44. nanotrebuchet Feb 11,2011 8:16 pm

    Really Hurt Our Dreams Epically Sucking

  45. nevermoor Feb 11,2011 8:20 pm

    Pain Often Writes Expecting Limited Lineup

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  46. nanotrebuchet Feb 11,2011 8:24 pm

    Really? Oakland’s Uneccesary Secondbase Experiment.

  47. nanotrebuchet Feb 11,2011 8:41 pm

    Modest, Understated Lefty; Disappointing End Results.

  48. nanotrebuchet Feb 11,2011 8:46 pm

    Lefty Outmaker Now Gone

  49. nanotrebuchet Feb 11,2011 8:49 pm

    Mostly Everyone Like Him Until Strategically Employed

  50. doctorK Feb 11,2011 9:47 pm

    Dead Elbow Vicious Injury Never Ending

  51. nanotrebuchet Feb 11,2011 10:17 pm

    Save Tries Rendered Extremely Excruciating Terror

  52. nanotrebuchet Feb 11,2011 11:21 pm

    Mostly Another Guy Nobody Understands. Strike Outs? Nil.

  53. JediLeroy Feb 12,2011 2:06 am

    Lacked Anything Remotely Interesting; Shitty Hitter

    az di bobe volt gehat beytsim volt zi geven mayn zeyde
  54. JediLeroy Feb 12,2011 6:06 am

    Monotone Administrator Championed Hamburger Acquisition

    az di bobe volt gehat beytsim volt zi geven mayn zeyde
  55. JediLeroy Feb 12,2011 6:46 am

    Behind Lampposts Easily Vanishes; Induces No Shadow

    az di bobe volt gehat beytsim volt zi geven mayn zeyde
  56. JediLeroy Feb 12,2011 7:03 am

    Great Rookie Inexplicably Evaporates Vexing Everyone

    az di bobe volt gehat beytsim volt zi geven mayn zeyde
    • monkeyball Feb 12,2011 7:51 pm || Up

      GIDP Rate Increased Exponentially. Verdict? Ennui.

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  57. nanotrebuchet Feb 12,2011 8:32 pm

    Nothing Is Changing, OK?

    • ptbnl Feb 12,2011 8:43 pm || Up

      what’s good for getting milk and mucus off a keyboard?

      If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
      • nanotrebuchet Feb 12,2011 8:46 pm || Up

        Took me a minute before I realized this wasn’t a surnacronym.

    • nevermoor Feb 13,2011 12:22 am || Up

      Holy shit that’s great

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • JediLeroy Feb 13,2011 1:26 am || Up

      Fantastic!

      az di bobe volt gehat beytsim volt zi geven mayn zeyde
    • grover Feb 15,2011 8:27 am || Up

      I bow to your superior intellect.

    • MikeV Feb 15,2011 8:34 am || Up

      asvd

      And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

      Thanks, and go As.

  58. nanotrebuchet Feb 12,2011 9:13 pm

    Given Ability, Lasted Long. Ergo, Gives Orders.

    • nevermoor Feb 13,2011 12:22 am || Up

      Mother N’s favorite…

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  59. nanotrebuchet Feb 12,2011 9:27 pm

    Was A Shitty Hitting Infield Nobody; Gives Texas Orders Now.

  60. nanotrebuchet Feb 12,2011 9:32 pm

    Stare Terrified Everyone; Was A Respected Teammate

  61. nanotrebuchet Feb 12,2011 9:38 pm

    Likely Is Dead; Life Ended

  62. nanotrebuchet Feb 12,2011 9:44 pm

    Lowe Is Leading “Lilly” Yell

  63. nanotrebuchet Feb 12,2011 10:03 pm

    Senators Tried Radical Alternative Strategy; Broken UCL Ruins Gains.

  64. noava22 Feb 13,2011 1:21 am

    Bailey’s “A Lefty? Fuck! Outman’s used!” Replacement

    • lenscrafters Feb 14,2011 10:23 pm || Up

      Welcome! Sorry the approving process (aka no one bothering to check the pending comments section) took so long.

      Incidentally, I just found out that we can see every commenter’s IP address in the dashboard! so. much. mod. power.

      • noava22 Feb 15,2011 10:54 am || Up

        thank you, thank you. I know my first post was inconspicuous, so I kind of just waited…and then forgot…

        and then suddenly, access. Thanks guys :D

        • monkeyball Feb 15,2011 10:56 am || Up

          my first post was inconspicuous, so I kind of just waited…and then forgot… and then suddenly, access

          TWHS

          you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
        • Ice Cream Feb 15,2011 1:12 pm || Up

          CARLOS!!!

          Where is the good in "good-bye"?
        • nevermoor Feb 15,2011 1:15 pm || Up

          It’s almost certainly my fault. I get emails when comments require moderation, but I either missed or failed to handle this one for some reason.

          Also, just so you know, the keyboard shortcuts in effect are here.

          "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • Poppy Feb 15,2011 12:18 am || Up

      Yes, welcome :) I actually had a passing thought about checking the pending comments earlier today. Then I saw something shiny, or a squirrel, or something…

      There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
    • nevermoor Feb 15,2011 7:51 am || Up

      Ditto them.

      You should be in for good now, though.

      Beane Always Looks Foolish, Often Ultimately Right

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  65. monkeyball Feb 13,2011 9:44 am

    Son Of Guy who Achieved Renown at DePaul

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • nevermoor Feb 13,2011 11:12 am || Up

      Someone Only Great Athletics Rooters Discover

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
      • spwc2010 Feb 13,2011 11:50 am || Up

        Shitloads Of Gargantuan Ass-Reaming Doubles

        \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
    • nanotrebuchet Feb 14,2011 10:45 pm || Up

      Statistical Oddity: Glasses Are Rarely Deployed

      • nanotrebuchet Feb 15,2011 12:03 am || Up

        Sabermetric Orthodoxy: Glasses Are Really Dorky

        • Poppy Feb 15,2011 12:19 am || Up

          Bwaha! I like that one better.

          There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
      • JediLeroy Feb 15,2011 2:02 am || Up

        Got Rid Of Scoring opportunitieS Situations

        az di bobe volt gehat beytsim volt zi geven mayn zeyde
        • MikeV Feb 15,2011 8:16 am || Up

          No?

          And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

          Thanks, and go As.

          • JediLeroy Feb 15,2011 2:26 pm || Up

            Yeah, that’s good, but mine was a play on this:

            az di bobe volt gehat beytsim volt zi geven mayn zeyde
            • nevermoor Feb 15,2011 2:57 pm || Up

              Should have used “Get”

              "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  66. monkeyball Feb 17,2011 10:13 pm

    Smynorcanrus?

    Sucks at Infielding, Lets Lots of Errors

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • JediLeroy Feb 18,2011 3:36 am || Up

      Smirnoffcronym?

      in Current Russia, Outsiders Slide By You

      Okay, so it’s a stretch.

      az di bobe volt gehat beytsim volt zi geven mayn zeyde
  67. noava22 Feb 18,2011 4:04 am

    Makes Outs with Sliders, Curves, Or Something Else?

    • noava22 Feb 18,2011 4:04 am || Up

      er, should be

      Makes Outs with Sliders, Curves, Or Something Other?

  68. nevermoor Feb 18,2011 9:13 am

    Must Completely Change Athletics’ Roster To Help You

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  69. doctorK Feb 18,2011 1:37 pm

    Fuck It – Gives Up Earned Excessive Runs, Often Awful

  70. Poppy Feb 21,2011 2:38 am

    I hope no one minds that I unstickied this post… or did you want it to stay sticky until someone does Donaldson?

    There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
    • nevermoor Feb 21,2011 9:57 am || Up

      No, it’s fine.

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"

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