So I Grilled him. ← FREE KRAUT!

So I Grilled him. 113

21 Jan 2011  |  monkeyball  |The Grill
  1. Yglesias vs the Dental Cartel, Round XXVII
  2. Man, Christian Bale has really aged (actually, it’d be interesting to see Bale play Young Reagan)
  3. Theocentric libertarian platform? Theocentric libertarian platform.
  4. Newly discovered Hammett short story to be published. Monkeyball World HQ is just two blocks up from Dahsiell Hammett alley — which itself is just across the street from where Miles Archer gets it in the beginning of The Maltese Falcon. “Dashiell” was high on my initial list when we were going through potential names 3 years ago (Gilliam was also up there, along with Hector for no particular reason).

113 thoughts on “So I Grilled him.”

  1. FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 21,2011 8:26 am

    3. Randall Terry is creepy. I saw him once from the opposite skirmish line at a clinic protest. He has that true believer glaze in his eyes which just sends chills down my spine.

    One of our side got his attention when she yelled: “Randall Terry is a misogynist!” (pause…pause…pause…) “Look it up!”

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  2. nevermoor Jan 21,2011 9:26 am

    How did you miss this?

    ” frameborder=”0″ allowFullScreen>

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • nanotrebuchet Jan 21,2011 10:11 pm || Up

      he really needs to tone down the rhetoric his tie.

  3. nevermoor Jan 21,2011 9:28 am

    4: Hammett is awesome. Although part of that is that the Thin Man movies were so great, which were only loosely based on his work.

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  4. nevermoor Jan 21,2011 9:31 am

    1: MY really needs to get over this. If you get your teeth cleaned when you’re supposed to, and xrays when you’re supposed to, a dentist will look at them and catch shit early, before it becomes excruciating tooth pain that requires aggressive action.

    Maybe the solution is e-consulting with a dentist on routine cleanings or something, but no-dentist-at-all is just wrong.

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • monkeyball Jan 21,2011 2:54 pm || Up

      He’ll really be in trouble once the Maple Cartel gets to him.

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  5. nevermoor Jan 21,2011 9:34 am
    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  6. nevermoor Jan 21,2011 10:02 am
    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  7. lenscrafters Jan 21,2011 10:18 am

    Looks like the Rangers are the leading suitors for Manny.

    • nevermoor Jan 21,2011 10:22 am || Up

      Sigh.

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
      • lenscrafters Jan 21,2011 11:41 am || Up

        More A’s related stuff…apparently we’re very intent on spending lots of money on relievers this offseason, the A’s were in on Jonathan Papelbon at one point.

        • nevermoor Jan 21,2011 11:48 am || Up

          Naturally, when you have strengths and weaknesses you overpay to strengthen your strengths.

          "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • monkeyball Jan 21,2011 12:18 pm || Up

      He’s gonna outperform Thome’s 2010 in fewer PAs.

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • lenscrafters Jan 21,2011 5:17 pm || Up

      Nvm…Rays have signed Damon AND Manny for a combined 7.25 million.

      • monkeyball Jan 21,2011 5:20 pm || Up

        Cripes.

        I can’t enthusiastically endorse every single move Beane’s made this offseason, but even with the Rangers getting Beltre, I think the A’s have beaten the competition.

        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
      • ptbnl Jan 21,2011 5:25 pm || Up

        That’ll make for some interesting games at Fenway.

        If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
      • mikeA Jan 21,2011 5:55 pm || Up

        Manny would have been the only one of the possible DH types I would have been enthusiastic about.

        • monkeyball Jan 21,2011 6:11 pm || Up

          For $6M, you wouldn’t have wanted a Manny-Thome platoon?

          you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
        • lenscrafters Jan 21,2011 6:12 pm || Up

          Damon and Manny for 7.2 million or Jackson and Matsui for 7.7 million?

  8. nevermoor Jan 21,2011 11:03 am
    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • sslinger Jan 21,2011 11:41 am || Up

      I loved this from one of the other pieces on there:

      A recent poll shows 62% of Americans say they don’t want to vote for Palin, but kinda just have to see what would happen.

  9. sslinger Jan 21,2011 11:35 am

    3. Didn’t mb play didgeridoo for TLP?

  10. ptbnl Jan 21,2011 12:13 pm

    The current XKCD identifies Uzbekistan as one of only two doubly-landlocked countries in the world. What is the other one?

    If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
    • Poppy Jan 21,2011 12:20 pm || Up

      What is “doubly-landlocked?” Surrounded by only landlocked countries?

      There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
    • aardvark Jan 21,2011 12:49 pm || Up

      Lichtenstein. Even if “country” is a generous term for the place.

      • ptbnl Jan 21,2011 1:08 pm || Up

        Bingo, though as Wikipedia points out it is an epoch-sensitive question:

        There were no doubly landlocked countries in the world from the Unification of Germany in 1871 until the end of World War I. This is because Uzbekistan was part of the Russian Empire, … while Liechtenstein bordered Austria-Hungary, a country which had an Adriatic coast until it was dissolved in 1918. Upon the dissolution of Austria-Hungary Liechtenstein became a doubly landlocked country. There were again no doubly landlocked countries from 1938 until the end of World War II, as Nazi Germany had incorporated Austria … After World War II Austria regained its independence and Liechtenstein became doubly landlocked once more. Upon the dissolution of the Soviet Union, Uzbekistan became the second doubly landlocked country.

        If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
      • monkeyball Jan 21,2011 1:08 pm || Up

        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • nevermoor Jan 21,2011 12:53 pm || Up

      I just spent a fair bit of time staring at a map. How does one define “landlocked”?

      Clearly the Caspian/Aral Seas do not count, but the Mediterranean does.

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
      • aardvark Jan 21,2011 1:00 pm || Up

        I was actually point out the same thing. Definitions can be a funny thing.

        • aardvark Jan 21,2011 1:02 pm || Up

          Oh, I see now…a country is land locked if its only coasts are on a CLOSED sea. The Mediterranean connects to the Atlantic.

          • nevermoor Jan 21,2011 1:38 pm || Up

            Fair enough.

            "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  11. Leopold Bloom Jan 21,2011 1:10 pm
    • nanotrebuchet Jan 21,2011 10:13 pm || Up

      that’s a whole lotta don’t care from fk.

      • FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 21,2011 11:21 pm || Up

        Well, he still has his CSNCA job, so we’ll still get the benefit of his insights into baseball.

        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  12. nevermoor Jan 21,2011 1:38 pm

    World Series Rage… receding.

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 21,2011 3:20 pm || Up

      I harbor no ill will towards the New York Baseball Giants.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  13. monkeyball Jan 21,2011 2:09 pm
    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 21,2011 3:20 pm || Up

      Orange County Nazis once broke an empty 40 oz bottle over my head.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • aardvark Jan 23,2011 7:46 pm || Up

      And then there is this FKer.

      • Poppy Jan 23,2011 11:02 pm || Up

        My mom has a couple of obnoxiously-remodeling neighbors (including one who has poached several square yards of her property and says “I talked to your husband about it before he died and he said we could build there”), so I do sympathize with that aspect, but wow… nazi flag dude is just a bit over the top with his revenge.

        There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
        • nevermoor Jan 24,2011 9:02 am || Up

          Your mom should sue.

          Her remedies are strong enough she’d have significant settlement leverage.

          "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
          • Poppy Jan 24,2011 5:37 pm || Up

            Yeah, another neighbor who’s being lightly poached invited my mom to join her in some legal wrestling, but I don’t think they’ve been pushy enough — especially since the poacher is a contractor and has done all his own building without any permits (I strongly suspect), since he’s also encroached on a suburban creek easement.

            He did all his building while my mom was recovering from serious injuries (2005-2006) and my dad was dying of cancer (2006-2007)… so no one really paid any attention to what the neighbor was doing while he was doing it, because, you know… infirmity and death are kind of distracting…

            The property is truly unusable for us anyway, so I almost half believe that my dad might really have said “Sure, you can expand your garage and take down the fence and pave a patio right up to the edge of the creekbank,” because my dad was just a nice guy in addition to being distracted. I can’t remember what the lawyer worked out, and whether there was any money involved or just a “release of liability” for my mom (so she won’t be liable for anything that happens on that side of the creek). But in a couple of months, my son — who is a drummer, guitarist, loud videogame aficionado and insomniac — will be living and jamming in the separate room we’re building for him just a stone’s throw away from the guy’s nice patio.

            There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
            • monkeyball Jan 24,2011 5:44 pm || Up

              invited my mom to join her in some legal wrestling

              Hawt.

              you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  14. monkeyball Jan 21,2011 2:43 pm

    In college, I played cowbell for The Goshen Horse Thief Detectives

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  15. monkeyball Jan 21,2011 3:02 pm

    What does nt have in common with David Lynch?

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 21,2011 3:26 pm || Up

      Whoa…maybe this is widely known to everyone else, but I had no idea that David Lynch did The Angriest Dog In The World cartoon.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 21,2011 3:31 pm || Up

        Also: Lynch was originally offered the chance to direct Fast Times at Ridgemont High. He didn’t feel he was the right fit for the job.

        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
        • sslinger Jan 21,2011 9:33 pm || Up

          Also, too, he was once roommates with Peter Wolf, later of J Geils Band fame.

          • monkeyball Jan 21,2011 10:21 pm || Up

            As was Sal!

            you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  16. monkeyball Jan 21,2011 3:07 pm
    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • nevermoor Jan 21,2011 4:38 pm || Up

      Holy shit. That’s awesome.

      Of course, Scalia-esque “originalism” is unaffected by this discovery.

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  17. Future Ed Jan 21,2011 3:18 pm

    Did one of these links include one that says Napoli to Blue Jays?

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • andeux Jan 21,2011 3:35 pm || Up

      For Vernon Wells?!

      TINSTAAFK
    • mikeA Jan 21,2011 3:41 pm || Up

      Vernon Wells’s contract makes Michael Young’s contract look like a steal.

    • lenscrafters Jan 21,2011 3:52 pm || Up

      What an absolutely awful deal for the Angels.

      • lenscrafters Jan 21,2011 4:09 pm || Up

        Barry Zito, 7.5 WAR the last 4 years.

        Vernon Wells, 7 WAR the last 4 years.

        And Zito has 4 years (4th year is an option) and 75 million left on his contract. Wells has 4 guaranteed years and 86 million left. Unbelievable.

        • monkeyball Jan 21,2011 4:15 pm || Up

          Makes Beane’s unnecessary/odd splurging on FA relievers pale in comparison.

          you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
          • lenscrafters Jan 21,2011 5:02 pm || Up

            It gets worse:

            Just heard Angels may not be getting any money from Jays in Wells deal. Not cast in stone, but pointing that way. 20 minutes ago via web

            • monkeyball Jan 21,2011 5:10 pm || Up

              Utterly inexplicable.

              I think the only way they could top this would be if they trade something non-useless to the Giants for Rowand (there’s their desired leadoff hitter!). What an OF that would be!

              Guess it’s us vs the Rangers this year.

              you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
              • lenscrafters Jan 21,2011 5:30 pm || Up

                One more angle as to how bad this is…

                Wells salary per year over the next 4 years (21.5 million) is higher than the salary per year of Angels’ targets Carl Crawford (20.3 million) and Adrian Beltre (16 million), players who the Angels, now comically it seems, didn’t sign because they didn’t like how pricey they were.

                They really are the new Mets.

                • monkeyball Jan 21,2011 5:31 pm || Up

                  Bi-fucking-zarre

                  you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
            • andeux Jan 21,2011 5:24 pm || Up

              Latest is: Napoli and Juan Rivera for Wells and cash.
              I will miss the comic stylings of Rivera in LF.

              TINSTAAFK
              • nevermoor Jan 21,2011 5:39 pm || Up

                I remember back when he was supposed to be about to break out.

                "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
              • lenscrafters Jan 21,2011 6:12 pm || Up

                No cash.

                Source confirms to FOXSports.com: No cash involved in Wells trade. Straight 2-for-1. #Angels #BlueJays #Toronto #LA

                Oh man…

                • monkeyball Jan 21,2011 6:17 pm || Up

                  Awesome.

                  you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
                • nevermoor Jan 21,2011 11:52 pm || Up

                  That’s hilariously stupid.

                  Did the city of Toronto group of 15 Jays fans riot in joy?

                  "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • monkeyball Jan 21,2011 3:53 pm || Up

      That’s what we call a fuckin’-Jay trade.

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
      • nanotrebuchet Jan 22,2011 12:01 am || Up

        talk about missing the forest for the trees

        they trade for vernon wells and you’re worried about…how he hits lefties?!?

        • nevermoor Jan 22,2011 1:22 am || Up

          Not all perfect in Toronto either

          "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  18. monkeyball Jan 21,2011 4:49 pm
    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • nevermoor Jan 21,2011 5:40 pm || Up

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
      • FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 21,2011 6:42 pm || Up

        The A’s should sell a Thrash the Axis ticket mini-plan, all BoSox and Yankee home games. Of which, incredibly, there are only five this year, two vs Boston in April, three v NYY in May-June. I’ve never heard of a league team visiting another for only two scheduled games in a year. A’s of course play six road games each in Fenway and the Bronx.

        We also get FLA and AZ in Oakland for interleague. That’s some fine scorched earth scheduling, right there.

        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  19. FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 21,2011 6:50 pm

    Confirmed, single-game tix on sale next Saturday, 1/29.

    I find this worrisome:

    The A’s will launch a new promotion called “Free Hot Dog Thursdays.” At each Thursday game, 10,000 fans will receive a voucher upon entry, redeemable for a free hot dog from concession stands for that day’s game. Free Hot Dog Thursdays will replace the $1 hot dog promotion that previously ran on Wednesdays.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 21,2011 6:55 pm || Up

      Worry alarm canceled, there are (edit) 12 two-dollar Wednesday games on the calendar. Six night games, six day games. Woot!

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • Poppy Jan 22,2011 8:15 pm || Up

      Well, they have to do something with the leftover hotdogs from last season.

      There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
      • nevermoor Jan 22,2011 10:56 pm || Up

        Gross, but true.

        "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  20. monkeyball Jan 21,2011 7:36 pm
    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  21. FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 21,2011 8:04 pm
    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • Ice Cream Jan 22,2011 8:39 am || Up

      One in the hand is worth … well, you know.

      welfare whale looking for a handout

      Where is the good in "good-bye"?
      • Poppy Jan 22,2011 8:17 pm || Up

        ShamuWOW!

        There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
      • monkeyball Jan 22,2011 9:38 pm || Up

        Well, they have to do something with the leftover hotdogs from last season.

        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  22. nanotrebuchet Jan 21,2011 10:37 pm

    it’s been a good day. the angels traded their best hitter and acquired a gmj-esque contract, the rangers lost out on their top DH choice (what would they have done with michael young?), the jays and rays got a little bit better.

    always nice when your two main division rivals get worse and the teams directly competing with the yanksox get better.

  23. ptbnl Jan 22,2011 12:51 pm
    If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
    • nevermoor Jan 22,2011 2:15 pm || Up

      I think Romney is less likely than Palin to run against Obama. My money is on Thune / other-generic-handsome-white-guy

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  24. nevermoor Jan 22,2011 6:37 pm
    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  25. nevermoor Jan 22,2011 10:59 pm
    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • monkeyball Jan 22,2011 11:38 pm || Up

      So much for my plan for them to sign Pujols.

      Kila will be traded to Toronto. For Rajai.

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  26. nevermoor Jan 23,2011 10:42 am

    Creeping Socialism Watch

    rights of all patients at more than 6,000 hospitals participating in the Medicare and Medicaid programs to put anyone they choose on their visitation list

    Destroying the fabric of society, one step at a time.

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  27. nevermoor Jan 23,2011 7:08 pm

    Rex Ryan, terrible clock manager or the worst clock manager?

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • mother pucker Jan 23,2011 7:54 pm || Up

      Which calls are you referring to? Nothing he did seemed that outrageous, given the opponent. I did not like those two passes at the goal line, though.

      I thought the Lovie Smith/Mike Martz screw up coming out of that time out was worse than anything the Jets did.

      • nevermoor Jan 23,2011 9:23 pm || Up

        I’m talking about not going hurry-up until way too late despite being way down.

        He pissed away the ENTIRE fourth quarter. With his offense on the field.

        "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  28. monkeyball Jan 23,2011 8:14 pm
    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • nevermoor Jan 23,2011 9:51 pm || Up

      Speaking of, there were a lot of people at Sutter/Van Ness on Saturday dressed in Victorian and/or Steam Punk clothes. Any of you cool enough to know what was going on?

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
      • nanotrebuchet Jan 23,2011 11:17 pm || Up

        Perhaps palin was in town.

      • monkeyball Jan 25,2011 4:19 pm || Up

        (pseudo-)Edwardian

        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
        • nevermoor Jan 25,2011 4:43 pm || Up

          Hunh. Thanks.

          "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  29. nevermoor Jan 23,2011 9:52 pm

    Highly FKing Recommended.

    This might be the best recently written play I’ve ever seen, and every single one of you degenerates would get a huge kick out of it.

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • monkeyball Jan 24,2011 5:55 am || Up

      I think this would probably make for a funnier scenario

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
      • nevermoor Jan 24,2011 9:03 am || Up

        I can’t imagine how. It was fantastic.

        "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  30. nanotrebuchet Jan 23,2011 11:07 pm

    By 1982, Greenpeace had grown into a full-fledged international movement with offices and staff around the world. We were bringing in $100 million a year in donations and half a dozen campaigns were occurring simultaneously. During the early 1980s two things happened that altered my perspective on the direction in which environmentalism, in general, and Greenpeace, in particular, were heading. The first was my introduction to the concept of sustainable development at a global meeting of environmentalists. The second was the adoption of policies by my fellow Greenpeacers that I considered extremist and irrational. These two developments would set the stage for my transformation from a radical activist into a sensible environmentalist.

    Interesting perspective. I don’t endorse everything therein, but as a bit of meta-activism (from a guy with a book to sell) I found it fascinating.

    • ptbnl Jan 23,2011 11:23 pm || Up

      An interesting and intimate take on the history, but his claim that

      Nuclear energy … has proven to be clean, safe, reliable, and cost-effective.

      suggests that his former compadres aren’t the only ones who have changed since the days he was known as “Dr Truth”.

      If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
      • nanotrebuchet Jan 23,2011 11:43 pm || Up

        which of those four do you disagree with, and why?

        • ptbnl Jan 24,2011 7:58 am || Up

          As proven? I’d argue against clean, safe and cost-effective (and I’d want to know the metric for reliable before agreeing to that).

          Clean – not till we come up with a real solution for nuclear waste (and I don’t count “hide and hope” like Yucca Mountain).

          Safe – not while nuclear energy and weapons technologies are so intertwined.

          Cost-effective – not till the analysis includes the costs of resolving the above, and of decommissioning.

          If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
      • monkeyball Jan 24,2011 6:01 am || Up

        Big Oil and Nuke and the Russians have gone too far and must be stopped.

        (And, yes, in college I played balalaika and steel drum for Big Oil and Nuke and the Russians.)

        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  31. Soaker Jan 24,2011 7:08 am

    So I’m in LB Country…actually Kissimmee, having fled Sarasota and Mom yesterday. Trying to get the full experience I spent the night in a decrepit HoJo’s, and this morning I put aside all political and dietary concerns and had a combo breakfast at Cracker Barrel. Scrambled eggs with cheese, hashbrown casserole, a slab of ham, biscuits and gravy and grits, plus the coffee. Good grief. I could have substituted an 8-ounce “hamburger steak” for the ham. This has just about settled in, so I’m a-gonna go pick some cotton, so talk to y’all later.

    What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
  32. nevermoor Jan 24,2011 9:42 am
    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  33. ptbnl Jan 24,2011 11:40 am

    Using a crematorium to heat the adjacent swimming pool is the kind of thing that needs to happen a lot more.

    If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.

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