Lunch rant (salmagundi) ← FREE KRAUT!

Lunch rant (salmagundi) 198

I am so fucking sick of all the TV shows and pop culture attention given to food trucks. I’ve been going to the same Mexican food truck once a week, every week, for the last six years and have ordered the same thing each time: cheese mole enchiladas, refried beans and rice on the side, chips and guacamole. It costs $4.00 and takes approximately 9 minutes to get from my lab to the truck and back to my office with food in hand.


Just like this, but it comes from a truck

Ever since the explosion of food truck pop culture attention, every hipster, wannabe-hipster, wannabe-hipster undergrad, wannabe-hipster yuppie, Apple Apologist hipster, and mustachioed hipster (a surprising and aesthetically displeasing demographic) has been swarming this and the other local food trucks. I’ve become the victim of food truck gentrification!


This is the actual view from Jose’s La Mexicana food truck to the other food trucks

It now takes me at least 20 minutes, usually more, to get my food. And all these assholes are staring at the menu trying to figure out what they want to order. First, there are not that many choices to make. You pick your form factor (burrito, enchilada, etc.), filling (various meats, veggies, cheeses) and your topping (mole, adobo, etc.). Second, you’ve been standing in the line for at least 4 minutes. Get off your fucking iPhone and study the menu before you get to the front of the line. And quit macking on the cute girl who takes the order, it’s unbecoming and takes up more of my time.


It’s not the Cheesecake Factory; you can read the menu in less than a minute

It got so bad that I had to go to the sandwich shop and buy a sandwich from Leo the Lazy Sandwich guy. Seriously, this guy puts out a few samples of his specialty sandwich of the day. God help you if you order the specialty sandwich, he just pulls the sample off the display, which has been sitting there all day, and wraps it up for you. Yesterday, to avoid eating the five-hour old sandwich with crusting mayonnaise aioli, going-stale bread, and oxidized avocadeo – if I wanted to eat that, I would just bring my own from home – I asked for the specialty sandwich without lettuce. This was painful for me, since I fucking love lettuce on my sandwiches. Leo pulls the floor model off the display case, opens it up, throws away the lettuce, wraps it up, and gives it to me.


You have a fancy sandwich station, please use it.

To add insult to injury, it costs 50% more than the Mexican truck. Today is my day to eat lunch out. I look forward to this every week. What the fuck am I supposed to do?

SATURDAY
Giants at Rangers @ 3:30 PT

SUNDAY
Giants at Rangers @ 5:00 PT

198 thoughts on “Lunch rant (salmagundi)

  1. water cooler girl Oct 29,2010 8:09 am

    the cute girl who takes the order

    You bastard!

    • nanotrebuchet Oct 29,2010 8:10 am || Up

      Expected.

    • nevermoor Oct 29,2010 10:03 am || Up

      WCG is 50% of the use of the word bastard (pre this comment) since “she” joined.

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  2. nanotrebuchet Oct 29,2010 8:10 am

    Whoever salmagundized this post, thanks.

  3. monkeyball Oct 29,2010 8:10 am

    Some of these are really good — but a few miss the boat entirely.
    My suggestions:
    Joe Manchin = Anthony LaPaglia
    Linda McMahon = Edie Falco
    Charlie Crist = Harry Shearer

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  4. monkeyball Oct 29,2010 8:11 am
    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • nanotrebuchet Oct 29,2010 8:14 am || Up

      and will then begin building back his arm strength with help from A’s strength and conditioning coach Bob Alejo,

      DOOMED

    • nevermoor Oct 29,2010 10:04 am || Up

      both are expected to make a full recovery by the start of Spring Training

      “2014,” he then mumbled.

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  5. monkeyball Oct 29,2010 8:11 am

    W. T. F. If you’re the White Sox, how do you NOT do that deal?

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • nanotrebuchet Oct 29,2010 8:12 am || Up

      I’d trade them two Ozzie Guillens for Mike Stanton.

    • nevermoor Oct 29,2010 10:05 am || Up

      Not true per update.

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  6. monkeyball Oct 29,2010 8:12 am

    Switching Guillens, this Jose business is (a) not surprising, and (b) a little odd — apparently he was left off the playoff roster not because he sucks, and not because he had an injured neck, but because MLB told the Giants he was under investigation and ordered them to leave him off.

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • monkeyball Oct 29,2010 1:02 pm || Up
      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  7. monkeyball Oct 29,2010 8:13 am

    My rant for the day: So this whole Cust discussion — yes, I’m sanguine with/resigned to seeing him NT’ed again, and genuinely fine with that if they have a real replacement lined up; but the whole “lost his power” thing — don’t we have a wealth of testimony that the A’s hinted/asked/insisted that he reduce Ks and increase swings/contact/AVG? Shouldn’t his reconfiguration last year actually merit Ichiroesque levels of awe and appreciation? (And I still say he’s a better, more inspirational, and more American story than Josh Hamilton.)

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • nevermoor Oct 29,2010 10:06 am || Up

      We really do need to keep him around.

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
      • grover Oct 29,2010 12:06 pm || Up

        Not necessarily.

        I almost made on comment on that MLBTR thread but figured, why bother? The reality is this… odds are his numbers crash in 2011 ’cause his BABIP won’t last. Still, at $4 million max it makes sense to keep him around and if nothing else, cash him in as a trade chip if the A’s find something better. Let him go to arbitration (which is none guaranteed money) and if you’re really worried about his bat speed or his waistline or anything like that during ST you can release him at a fraction of the cost.

        Or if he’s pounding the crap out of the ball during ST then “Yay, A’s!”

        • nevermoor Oct 29,2010 12:13 pm || Up

          Right.

          I don’t mean he’s what gets us to the WS, I mean he’s likely to be worth a lot more than he’s paid and is a proven DH (in the sense that many players see a production drop there).

          "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • mk Oct 30,2010 7:08 am || Up

      And I still say he’s a better, more inspirational, and more American story than Josh Hamilton.

      Now that would be a really good post. So much to say there.

  8. monkeyball Oct 29,2010 8:13 am
    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • nevermoor Oct 29,2010 10:07 am || Up

      I think he’s right on all counts.

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  9. nanotrebuchet Oct 29,2010 8:17 am

    A wiseguy friend of mine has this signature at the bottom of emails sent from his mobile device:

    Sent from my rotary phone

    • monkeyball Oct 29,2010 8:21 am || Up

      LOL. “Sent from a phonebooth” would also be good.

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
      • monkeyball Oct 29,2010 8:33 am || Up

        Also: Bat-phone, shoephone (Smartphone)

        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  10. monkeyball Oct 29,2010 8:17 am

    To be fair, some of the fucking hipsters might actually be perusing the food truck’s menu on the iPhones — that’s the way it’s done now (that and twitter alerts for where the truck will be, for those trucks that don’t have a set daily location). Of course, if those people are still gazing at the menu board like turkeys in a rainstorm, then they should be shot.

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • nanotrebuchet Oct 29,2010 8:20 am || Up

      Jose’s La Mexicana is old-school, they haven’t yet gotten into the mobile device arena yet. But Clover Food Truck next spot over is all wireless and web 2.0’d. They serve lentil sandwiches and organic lemonade and sweet potato fries and play indie music. I’m not cool enough to eat there.

      • FreeSeatUpgrade Oct 29,2010 10:13 am || Up

        I’d feel a little better about teh food truck revolution if they’d adopt the silly modern convention of hand washing. I find their lack of running water disturbing.

        As I discussed with that mikeA guy (who?) once, the Liba falafel truck is super yummy.

        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
        • batgirl Oct 29,2010 10:29 am || Up

          That truck is delicious! I go there every few weeks and am perfecting my method of cramming the most delicious toppings in the pita while trying to evenly distribute the contents and also not spill everything and make a complete mess.

          • nanotrebuchet Oct 29,2010 1:24 pm || Up

            Best falafel food truck I’ve experienced – and to be fair, I’ve only sampled three – was a random one Gotenburg.

      • monkeyball Oct 29,2010 12:51 pm || Up

        I view La Mexicana and Clover as complementary goods and not substitute goods. That is, I think La Mexicana benefits by Clover’s success, and vice versa, because it increases interest in Boston food trucks in general.

        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  11. monkeyball Oct 29,2010 8:24 am

    Hoping JP’s soccer practice doesn’t get rained out again for a second straight week. Difficult explaining disappointments to the little guy.

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • nanotrebuchet Oct 29,2010 8:29 am || Up

      “Listen kid, when it rains God is crying, probably because you did something to upset him.”

      • nevermoor Oct 29,2010 10:09 am || Up

        “Rain is god’s way of amusing himself with the stupidity of chickens.”

        "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • monkeyball Oct 29,2010 11:17 am || Up

      Dammit. Weather cleared, but this totally screwed any chance of getting there on time.

      Ah well, brunch at the Ferry Building is some consolation.

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
      • nanotrebuchet Oct 29,2010 11:30 am || Up

        Did any of you ever have to evacuate your elementary/middle/high school classrooms due to bomb threats?

        • ptbnl Oct 29,2010 11:56 am || Up

          Not at school, but other public places during the IRA’s mainland campaigns.

          If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
          • nanotrebuchet Oct 29,2010 12:09 pm || Up

            Not really what I was thinking of…obviously, those situations are pretty serious since there actually is violence/terrorism happening in real time.

            I was thinking more of “some idiot kid forgot to do his homework and called in a bomb threat to get school cancelled.”

            • sslinger Oct 29,2010 12:38 pm || Up

              None of those, but we got pretty good at making stink bombs in 9th grade science lab and found some great places to set them off in our brand new school, resulting in partial evacuations.

              • nevermoor Oct 29,2010 12:54 pm || Up

                I had that phase too. Our favorites were colored smoke bombs in porta potties.

                "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
        • FreeSeatUpgrade Oct 29,2010 12:41 pm || Up

          During my senior year in high school in Northern Virginia, one afternoon a graduate from the previous year who had been spurned by his girlfried entered the school with a shotgun. The school was at the time doing a production of Oklahoma, and apparently everyone assumed the gun was a prop. The gunman went to the principal’s office and took 10 people hostage, demanding that his GF be summoned there. Incredibly, the principal agreed, and a cryptic request for her to come to the office came over the school PA.

          When the gunman saw her rounding the hallway corner en route he fired his gun through the office’s big plate glass window. He missed, she ran away to safety, and the gunman still held the hostages. None of the rest of us in the (enormous, sprawling, 4,000 student) school knew what was going on, of course. When the bell was supposed to ring to send us to the next class (the last of the day) another PA message came through, telling us to remain where we were, so we knew something odd was up. 30-45 minutes after that, a cop knocked on the door and told us to get the hell out of the building; outside, they told us all to go home.

          Ultimately the guy released the hostages in 1-2 person installments, was left with just the principal, and then surrendered 24 hours later…we missed school the next day too.

          Looking around quickly, the only internet evidence of this I can find is this one-sentence subscriber’s only tease.

          "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
          • ptbnl Oct 29,2010 12:44 pm || Up

            Yikes. And I can’t imagine the heat the principal would have got if the girlfriend had been hit.

            If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
            • nevermoor Oct 29,2010 12:55 pm || Up

              In Kentucky, the GF would have been asked to apologize.

              "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
          • nanotrebuchet Oct 29,2010 1:23 pm || Up

            Holy crap.

            A few months after Columbine, local law enforcement decided to use my high school as a staging ground for a training exercise. Of course, they did this after hours so as not to freak out the student body…but they happened to choose the night we were doing a production of Guys and Dolls. Parents and younger siblings arrived at the school for the musical and instead found a swat team. Freaked many out.

        • JediLeroy Oct 29,2010 3:41 pm || Up

          High school, pipe bomb

          az di bobe volt gehat beytsim volt zi geven mayn zeyde
  12. nanotrebuchet Oct 29,2010 8:58 am

    This has been an exclusively slingshot-simian salmagundi. Except for water cooler girl.

    • andeux Oct 29,2010 9:26 am || Up

      Everyone else is busy getting off your lawn.

      TINSTAAFK
      • nanotrebuchet Oct 29,2010 9:31 am || Up

        Well, keep at it.

        • nevermoor Oct 29,2010 10:16 am || Up

          The Capitol Steps really need to do better at getting their lyrics online.

          Their song “I’ve Got a Bald Spot and I Want to Paint it Black/Give Me Some Elmer’s Glue I Want To Glue It Back” by the “Rolling Kidney Stones” is apropos but not online.

          "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  13. monkeyball Oct 29,2010 9:00 am

    One of the great simple joys in (my) life is cooking a scrambled egg in a non-nonstick pan, and leaving no residue/scorching/crust in the pan.

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  14. nanotrebuchet Oct 29,2010 9:30 am

    “Let’s all be aware of this: we’re about to blow this fucker up,” [Conan’s producer] Ross said, full of portent.
    There was only one reaction that mattered. Conan stood outlined by the doorway of the conference room, his swoop of copper hair almost touching the frame. He looked directly at Ross, unblinking.
    “Blow it up,” he said.

  15. nanotrebuchet Oct 29,2010 9:39 am

  16. FreeSeatUpgrade Oct 29,2010 10:10 am

    Project Runway (avert your eyes if you’ve not yet seen the finale):

    Noooooooo!!!!

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • batgirl Oct 31,2010 7:59 am || Up

      Ugh. Yes, that was a complete travesty of justice. I’ll admit that I was very concerned the minute the judges started giving “notes” on their styling during the 4-man runoff. If there’s one thing Kors & Co love, it’s when the contestants heed their supremely valuable insights to their own betterment. I had a sick feeling that freaking Gretchen would slap some red lips and high heels on her horrid ensembles and win the whole thing. And so it was. And the thing that really sucks is that had it been 3 seasons ago, they wouldn’t have had the stupid runoff and Gretchen would have flopped harder than Vlade Divac.

      I firmly believe that if Mondo had run his exact same looks down the runway minus the headpieces and the polkadot dress, he would have won. But Nina and Michael were so damn irked that he didn’t listen to their critiques, they just wouldn’t hear of it. And that is complete horseshit on the dotted dress, BTW. The fact that two of the other judges were ready to claw each other’s eyes out to take that dress home should have told N & M to LET IT GO. No one was fighting over Gretchen’s sackcloth smocks.

      I have been lukewarm on Heidi over the years, and I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why Jessica Simpson was there (and whoever picked her unflattering dress should be fired) but bless those two wonderful souls for fighting so hard for Mondo. They brought up soooooo many good points that N & M just wouldn’t listen to. And shame on N & M for their hypocrisy. In one breath they are criticizing contestants for not “wowing” us on the runway, and then when Mondo does it, they rip him for it. MAKE UP YOUR MINDS! WHAT DO YOU WANT? Do you want wearable, sellable clothing (which, BTW, Mondo’s were) or do you want a real fashion show that turns your head?

      And listening to Nina and Michael talk about how Gretchen’s style were so “of the moment” and “where fashion is going” I felt like I was taking crazy pills. Am I that out of touch? I can’t think of anyone who would be slobbering over those looks, an I live in the freaking hippie epicenter of the universe.

      In the end, though, who really cares? I tried hard last night to name all of the past winners, and I could only come up with 3 or 4. These designers never go on to actually do anything. And I think that Mondo improved his own life so much, that (not to sound corny) he was the real winner of the season. He gained so much more than $100K. I wish they’d have at least had a fan favorite prize that he could have taken home.

      • FreeSeatUpgrade Oct 31,2010 11:19 am || Up

        To your last point: in fact, some of the past contestants who have retained some level of public visibility have been non-winners like Santino. If Mondo can maintain the sense of self-worth he seemed to develop this season, he’d be well positioned to do likewise.

        This whole season (which I truly loved and thought was the best ever, because so many of the contestants had great TV personas) was sullied somewhat by Kors/Garcia force-feeding their aesthetics. There was a point where they were almost defiant in their endorsement of Michael C., almost just to spite the other designers’ opinions. It is odd, because notwithstanding that I generally value their opinions much more than Heidi’s. But in this case they seemed to paint themselves into a corner where they had too much personal stake in seeing their critiques embraced by the designers every single time.

        All this said, I did think that Mondo’s collection wasn’t necessarily his best work, and when I saw all the pieces together on the runway I did not like them quite as much as I did when seeing them individually. Even so, he totally kicked Gretchen’s ass by any measure. Hell, Andy’s stuff was better than Gretchen’s also, and he was dismissed out of hand.

        I will, however, keep an eye out for Gretchen’s work on my next visit to JC Penney.

        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  17. nanotrebuchet Oct 29,2010 10:34 am

    millitrebuchet

  18. sslinger Oct 29,2010 11:17 am

    Great rant Sal. I had to send it to my daughter in Cambridge as she’s potentially one of your nemeses, or would be if it was a Korean taco truck.

  19. mother pucker Oct 29,2010 12:38 pm

    As a fan of food trucks myself (I mean who isn’t?), this and this would be my recs for some modestly priced yet delicious Mexican food.

    I confess, I am surprised by the amount of lamentation on ** going on about Giants fans harassing A’s for wearing A’s garb. Today, I dawned this silly (yet authentic and stitched) A-Rod jersey Rangers Jersey that I picked up for $5 at the Ashby Flea Market in honor of casual Friday at work. Sure it drew some looks, but nothing was said to me. From my experiences, Giants fans are pretty tame with the exception being how they behave towards the LA crowd. Similarly, never had anything said to me for wearing my Mulder t-shirt jersey in SF.

    • ptbnl Oct 29,2010 12:46 pm || Up

      I’ve had only very mild heckling wearing my PTBNL A’s shirt to Giants games.

      If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
      • nevermoor Oct 29,2010 12:57 pm || Up

        Even Giants fans recognize awesome when they see it.

        "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
        • Leopold Bloom Oct 29,2010 2:39 pm || Up

          I went in full A’s gear to the Giants game this season. The only comments I got were from other expatriates.

  20. monkeyball Oct 29,2010 12:54 pm

    nm, you’ve got 23 more months to do fist-bumps with JP. Then I’m cutting off access.

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • nevermoor Oct 29,2010 12:59 pm || Up

      There goes my shot at partner.

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  21. monkeyball Oct 29,2010 1:04 pm
    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • mother pucker Oct 29,2010 1:14 pm || Up

      Will they at least be wearing masks on Sunday?

    • nanotrebuchet Oct 29,2010 1:25 pm || Up

      Yeah, like Obama’s been making weekly visits to Texas.

      • monkeyball Oct 29,2010 1:28 pm || Up

        { cough }

        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
        • nanotrebuchet Oct 29,2010 1:31 pm || Up

          ?

          I went to the plaza where Kennedy was shot a few years ago, and I have to tell you it is a weird combination of kids playing, tourists gawking, conspiracy theorists philosophizing, and hawkers hawking.

          • nevermoor Oct 29,2010 1:36 pm || Up

            Isn’t it mostly a freeway on ramp now?

            "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
            • nanotrebuchet Oct 29,2010 1:40 pm || Up

              Basically, but Dealey plaza is still there. The road that his motorcade was traveling on has three x’s, indicating the location of the car when he was struck. The book repository has been turned into a museum and you can look out the window that Oswald supposedly shot from.

  22. monkeyball Oct 29,2010 1:05 pm

    Being Andrew Sullivan

    I think the driver of the car in the rear-view mirror is Sully.

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  23. monkeyball Oct 29,2010 1:29 pm

    Anyone know where I can find comprehensive spray charts? MLB.com actually has pretty good ones — but only by park (so far as I can tell).

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  24. FreeSeatUpgrade Oct 29,2010 1:41 pm

    Dog bites man story of the Series:

    Tom Grieve, former Rangers general manager who has been in the team’s broadcast booth for 16 years, said his youngest son is a full-time father in the Dallas area who does yoga six times a week and is comfortable in retirement. That would be Ben Grieve…

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • Leopold Bloom Oct 29,2010 2:43 pm || Up

      Ben. Grieve.

      • monkeyball Oct 29,2010 2:59 pm || Up

        It’s really a pity that he never ended up playing for Anaheim.

        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  25. monkeyball Oct 29,2010 2:17 pm

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  26. monkeyball Oct 29,2010 3:34 pm

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • nevermoor Oct 29,2010 3:43 pm || Up

      Yeah. I hope there’s a Goodman RSS available. Otherwise I’ll have to find someone else for general hear-about-good-new-shows-who-shares-my-taste purposes.

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
      • monkeyball Oct 29,2010 4:43 pm || Up

        Well, he’s not really going anywhere, if you consider online a place. THR is free, he’ll be there and at Twitter/facebook, doing the same thing.

        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
        • nevermoor Oct 29,2010 5:14 pm || Up

          If he’s going to a place where I can’t get an RSS of just his work, then he might as well be gone.

          "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  27. nanotrebuchet Oct 29,2010 3:57 pm
  28. nanotrebuchet Oct 29,2010 4:21 pm

    a few mt everest links:

    mt everest gets 3g

    abandoned on everest (warning – graphic)

  29. linusalf Oct 29,2010 4:24 pm

    • Soaker Oct 29,2010 7:33 pm || Up

      Get off your fucking iPhone and study the menu before you get to the front of the line. And quit macking on the cute girl who takes the order, it’s unbecoming and takes up more of my time.

      See, it’s just a matter of time until the same thing happens at nanotreb’s taco truck.

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
  30. FreeSeatUpgrade Oct 29,2010 8:46 pm

    Hey Ice Cream, in case you’re lurking: I’m considering taking the kids out to Golden Gate Fields tomorrow, probably for the first 3 or 4 or 5 races. It’s important to teach them to gamble properly. See any horses you like?

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • Ice Cream Oct 29,2010 10:16 pm || Up

      Nothing in the first few races but in the 7th race, Shiloh’s Pac Boom has a lot of upside. He draws a nice outside post and should get a cleaner trip after breaking from the 2-hole last time and running a bit greenly behind horses on the backstretch before eventually checking in third. He’s shown a bit of run (and subsequent improvement) in each of his three starts. I like him.

      9-2 on the morning line.

      Where is the good in "good-bye"?
      • Ice Cream Oct 31,2010 8:57 am || Up

        OK. I don’t like him so much anymore. He had the perfect trip yesterday– took the lead on the turn, held it into the stretch but faded to third. No excuses this time. No upside next time.

        Where is the good in "good-bye"?
  31. Soaker Oct 29,2010 10:53 pm

    Oh, the whoring (Fox Sports press release):

    FOX Sports presents the world premiere of pop music sensation Justin Bieber’s new music video this Saturday, October 30th, prior to the start of Game 3 of the World Series on FOX. The video is for a special acoustic version of his hit single “Never Say Never” off his upcoming album due out at the end of November. Coverage begins at a special start time of 6:30 PM ET.

    Bieber filmed the video this week at Angels Stadium in Anaheim and saluted the World Series participants by wearing gear of both the San Francisco Giants and Texas Rangers during the shoot. The world premiere of the acoustic version of “Never Say Never” airs during the World Series pregame that begins at 6:30 PM ET. This marks the earliest start time of a World Series game in 23 years.

    In addition, Texas native and American Idol Season 1 winner Kelly Clarkson sings the National Anthem prior to Game 3 in Arlington. Martha Plimpton, star of FOX’s hit comedy RAISING HOPE, performs God Bless America during the 7th inning stretch.

    I’ve always thought God Bless America in the middle of the game was a bit over the top, but now it’s just an excuse for product placement? Sheesh…

    What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
    • mk Oct 30,2010 6:59 am || Up

      What is the reason for slotting the song back into the 7th inning stretch during the postseason, anyway? No one plays it during the regular season anymore (save NY and LA, and save various patriotic holidays), so why now?

      I guess the answer is that 162 mandated stand & salutes (in addition to the 162 we already endu … er, relish) is a bit too much even for those of us who really really love our country like so much it hurts, and that as a compromise, the postseason pomp and circumstance bylaws were amended to incorporate “must play God Bless America”.

      Or maybe it’s that the Yankees are always in the playoffs, and they do it, so everyone else has to follow suit, lest they appear churlish or America-hating (analagous to the in-stadium dynamic when it’s played: everyone stands and removes their caps because everyone is standing and removing their caps).

      This guy says the pregame national anthem tradition was birthed by WWI, cemented by WWII. I suppose it’s good for the viewer but bad for FOX’s revenue stream that nothing worthy of patriotic effusion happened between 1945 and 2001.

      • nanotrebuchet Oct 30,2010 7:45 am || Up

        man on the moon

        • monkeyball Oct 30,2010 8:40 am || Up

          I would have no objection to playing the REM song in the middle of the 6th inning.

          you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
          • nanotrebuchet Oct 30,2010 10:37 am || Up

            i would have no objection to you filking “the end of the world as we know it”

        • mk Oct 30,2010 10:20 am || Up

          Please tell me I’m not going to have to start adding irony tags to my comments.

          By the way, this thread has touched on the only two things that might conceivably lead me to commit murder:

          1. Sweet potato fries. As in, if there was a nuclear apocalypse, and somehow both I and a single serving of sweet potato fries survived, I would definitely fight Viggo Mortensen to the death for them. Anything else, and I would just cower in a radioactive building husk until the cannibals came.

          2. People who stand in line at food carts or Chipotle or wherever for several minutes, yet remain undecided about their order when they arrive at the counter. I am in favor of empowering police officers to stop people on the street who look like they might be the sort of oblivious asshole who would do that. The net benefit to humanity would more than justify the civil rights violations.

          • ptbnl Oct 30,2010 2:03 pm || Up

            Re, 2, I’d like to add people who spend 30 minutes shuffling through airport security lines but don’t start removing their jackets etc until they reach the front.

            If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
          • Leopold Bloom Nov 2,2010 1:11 pm || Up

            It is posts like this one that earn you extra Bloom love in your lunch bag.

            Wait…that’s a horrible, disgusting analogy…

            • ptbnl Nov 2,2010 1:17 pm || Up

              Putting the tart in tartar sauce …

              If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
      • Future Ed Oct 30,2010 2:28 pm || Up

        when was the last time you saw a broadcast of the national anthem?

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
        • mk Oct 31,2010 6:57 am || Up

          Sadly, not often. (I play it on my stereo before the first pitch, but it’s not the same. Maybe a flag and floor fan would enhance the ballpark verisimilitude.)

          Anyway, right, the composition of “we” changes from game to game. Neither you nor I had the opportunity to savor the sweet sounds of the anthem 162 times in 2010, but “we”, as in, people who attend baseball games, did (4860 times, I guess).

    • Future Ed Oct 30,2010 2:27 pm || Up

      god bless america indeed

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • sslinger Oct 30,2010 2:49 pm || Up

      Nice touch by Tony Bennett, who sang America The Beautiful at the end of the Rally To Restore Sanity today, wearing the orange tie.

  32. monkeyball Oct 30,2010 7:00 am
    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • nanotrebuchet Oct 30,2010 7:46 am || Up

      it’s rare for a kw trade to have rumors attached…they usually come out of nowhere. my philosophy is that if kw is attached to a rumor, it’s not going to happen.

  33. FreeSeatUpgrade Oct 30,2010 9:39 am

    Mark 11:12-14 “The next day as they were leaving Bethany, Jesus was hungry. Seeing in the distance a fig tree in leaf, he went to find out if it had any fruit. When he reached it, he found nothing but leaves, because it was not the season for figs. Then he said to the tree, ‘May no one ever eat fruit from you again.’ And his disciples heard him say it.”

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • nanotrebuchet Oct 30,2010 10:01 am || Up

      so jesus hates figs…not fair to blame the father for the sins of the son.

    • batgirl Oct 31,2010 7:32 am || Up

      Oh noes! And I just re-named Chantal “Figgy.”

  34. FreeSeatUpgrade Oct 30,2010 9:43 am

    Science joke of the day:

    A geneticist, a physiologist and a physicist were summoned to meet a wealthy racehorse magnate. He told them he would give a million pounds to the one who could accurately identify race-winning horses. After six months of hard work, they returned to present their results to the expectant millionaire.

    The geneticist said, “I’ve looked into all the current genetic research, checked blood-lines going back decades, but there are just too many behavioural and environmental factors. I can’t help.”

    The physiologist said, “I’ve looked at muscle mass, bone volume and density, and all the other factors I can think of, but the problem’s too complex. There’s just no guarantee of predicting a winner.”

    Finally, the physicist calmly walks up to the millionaire and gives him an index card. “Here you go,” he says “I’ve found an equation that solves the problem for you.”

    “Wow,” said the millionaire, “That’s impressive…I’ll get my cheque book.”

    “Great. But there’s one thing you should know,” said the physicist. “It only works for a spherically symmetric horse travelling in a vacuum.”

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  35. monkeyball Oct 30,2010 4:02 pm

    Hunh. Trader Joe’s tater tots make an excellent base for a soup.

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  36. monkeyball Oct 30,2010 4:41 pm

    Hell of an AB by Moreland.

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • monkeyball Oct 30,2010 4:42 pm || Up

      And Hello, Headcase Sanchez.

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • oblique Oct 30,2010 4:46 pm || Up

      I want to use that AB as evidence that fouling off close pitches can be a better strategy than taking them and hoping the umpire calls them correctly. It sure is a hell of a lot more fun to watch.

      • oblique Oct 30,2010 4:47 pm || Up

        Perhaps I can use Renteria’s AB as a second data point for the same argument.

      • monkeyball Oct 30,2010 4:48 pm || Up

        So far as I know, outside of a very small handful of extreme bat control freaks like Ichiro, intentionally fouling pitches off isn’t a repeatable skill.

        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
        • oblique Oct 30,2010 4:50 pm || Up

          I’m guessing, but intuition tells me that neither is “getting a close call from the umpire.” (though perhaps it is, via reputation/relationships/etc)

        • FreeSeatUpgrade Oct 30,2010 5:07 pm || Up

          I’d call it a relatively large handful, maybe 15-20% or so of big league hitters, who with some regularity can deliberately foul off two-strike pitches that they have no chance of successfully putting in play. It’s not as obscure a skill as you make it out to be.

          Whether they can subsequently do something productive in teh at bat is of course a different matter. Two-strike hitting is tough.

          "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
          • monkeyball Oct 30,2010 5:36 pm || Up

            Well, if there’s as you suggest little overlap between the guys who can do it and actual good hitters, then why bother?

            you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
            • FreeSeatUpgrade Oct 30,2010 5:49 pm || Up

              That’s not at all what I suggested. Two-strike hitting is tough for everyone. But if you can foul a borderline pitch, maybe the next one might be one you can do something with.

              "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
          • andeux Oct 30,2010 6:01 pm || Up

            I would go even further, and say that most major league hitters can “protect” with two strikes to at least some extent.

            And while in general I do like the approach of hitters like Cust and Barton, oblique is right at least about the specific case of the outside pitch to left-handed batters: umpires are going to keep calling that a strike unless or until the league takes a serious look at pitchfx data and tells them to do otherwise. OTOH, that’s a tough pitch even to foul off, so it’s not clear that a change in approach will do a whole lot of good.

            TINSTAAFK
            • grover Oct 30,2010 7:25 pm || Up

              Seems like a fairly easy decision. Take a pitch you know the ump is going to call a strike or swing at the pitch and hope you can make contact.

              • lenscrafters Oct 30,2010 8:49 pm || Up

                The problem is that you don’t know if they are going to call it a strike, unless the umpire is consistently calling that 6 inches outside pitch a strike across all counts and all situations, regardless of who the lefty is at the plate. My feeling is…they aren’t. I mean, if the batter, for certain, *knows* that it’s gonna be a strike, then why wouldn’t they swing?

                • grover Oct 31,2010 10:01 am || Up

                  Remember when Barton got tossed after the game? That’s the scenario I’m referring to… where the ump has been calling that pitch a strike all game.

                • lenscrafters Oct 31,2010 3:49 pm || Up

                  Was he? The strike zone plot for lefty hitters in that game (7/7):

                  Graph

                  I count 4 outside pitches called strikes and about 5 called balls, in the general vicinity of the ones called strikes. Doesn’t seem consistent at all.

                • Soaker Oct 31,2010 4:01 pm || Up

                  I’m not sure how you happened to choose July 7, but that’s not the game grover is referencing. If memory serves the correct game would be September 15 in Kansas City with Brian Gorman as home plate umpire.

                  What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
                • andeux Oct 31,2010 4:04 pm || Up

                  Barton was also ejected on 7/6, and ended the game with a strikeout looking on 9/15, but I believe the game in question was this one on 9/12:

                  TINSTAAFK
                • Soaker Oct 31,2010 4:16 pm || Up

                  andeux has it right. I knew the game was in September and I should have remembered that Wendelstedt was the umpire in question.

                  What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
                • lenscrafters Oct 31,2010 4:06 pm || Up

                  Ah, my mistake. That 7/7 game had Barton ejected in the 5th inning for a called strike 3. I remember that 9/15 game very well, the umpire was definitely calling the outside ball a strike.

                • grover Oct 31,2010 4:16 pm || Up

                  And I had forgotten that Barton got tossed in July.

            • lenscrafters Oct 30,2010 8:40 pm || Up

              Not really. A hardball times study found that batters don’t really have an increased ability to foul off pitches with two strikes, though they sure swing more often. Even the best (Ichiro), only see a foul ball increase of 10%.

  37. FreeSeatUpgrade Oct 30,2010 5:32 pm

    And in some back corner of the Giants dugout where they store all the other unneeded equipment, Barry Zito is thinking that he too could have gotten through four and two-thirds innings.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  38. monkeyball Oct 30,2010 5:56 pm

    You can’t walk Bengie and Frenchy in the same game and expect to win.

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  39. monkeyball Oct 30,2010 6:04 pm

    Someone at work keeps saying I look like Cody Ross, but I’m not seein’ it.

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • nanotrebuchet Oct 30,2010 6:17 pm || Up

      perhaps you are temporarily exceeding expectations at the office.

    • FreeSeatUpgrade Oct 30,2010 6:32 pm || Up

      This guy looks more like Cody Ross than you do:

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • nanotrebuchet Oct 30,2010 6:55 pm || Up

        that guy looks more like mb than he does cody ross.

      • nevermoor Oct 30,2010 10:50 pm || Up

        Putting up a picture of MB like that does little to support your point.

        "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  40. ptbnl Oct 30,2010 6:18 pm

    I was OK with the idea of the Giants winning it all until my deranged mother-in-law (who knows nothing about baseball except that I’m an A’s fan) jumped on the bandwagon and started leaving shrieking “Go Giants” messages on our machine.

    Now I want a restraining order, or, failing that, 4 straight losses.

    If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
    • grover Oct 30,2010 7:32 pm || Up

      God damn mother-in-laws…

      My wife’s is cool but the rest tend towards evil and vindictive.

    • nanotrebuchet Oct 30,2010 7:38 pm || Up

      i took my in-laws to fenway park and my new yorker of a mother-in-law insisted on telling the drunk guys behind us that she was a yankees fan.

      • FreeSeatUpgrade Oct 30,2010 7:51 pm || Up

        You married into Yankee blood and moved to Boston. Some analysis might be in order.

        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • nanotrebuchet Oct 30,2010 8:01 pm || Up

      even my mother, who should know no other baseball allegiance other than her son’s, is on the giants bandwagon.

  41. Poppy Oct 31,2010 11:04 am

    There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
  42. batgirl Oct 31,2010 11:48 am

    I don’t know how the NFL can’t be delighted with this London game! 3-0 at halftime–somebody pinch me!

    And yes, If I could go back one week and have 3-0 at halftime, I’d have died and gone to heaven.

    • grover Oct 31,2010 12:01 pm || Up

      The English probably enjoy watching field goals.

      • nanotrebuchet Oct 31,2010 12:17 pm || Up

        The English probably enjoy watching field goals.

  43. batgirl Oct 31,2010 1:26 pm

    I hate you football.

    • nevermoor Oct 31,2010 2:28 pm || Up

      The Troy Smith Experience!

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • Soaker Oct 31,2010 2:44 pm || Up

      I’m watching this SEA @ OAK game, and you know what…the Denver game was no fluke. This team that occupies the A’s field from October onward isn’t a joke anymore. They have a darn good defense and some pretty good players on offense; a crew of journeyman QBs is the major factor holding them back.

      Plenty of good seats still available at the Coliseum if anyone in the area wants to drop by for the second half.

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
      • batgirl Oct 31,2010 3:08 pm || Up

        You’re not helping.

        • Soaker Oct 31,2010 3:36 pm || Up

          I understand the Bronco fan’s frustration. Regardless…the NFL’s blackout policy that prohibits this game from being shown in the Bay Area is incredibly stupid. Letting the Bay Area fans see this would build a LOT of local interest in the Raiders.

          What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
          • nevermoor Oct 31,2010 4:11 pm || Up

            I’ll take the Raiders beating an NFC West team any day.

            "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
            • monkeyball Oct 31,2010 4:45 pm || Up

              I’ll take the Giants beating an AL West team any day.

              you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
              • ptbnl Oct 31,2010 4:52 pm || Up

                Take my mother-in-law … somebody take my mother-in-law.

                If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
          • batgirl Oct 31,2010 7:47 pm || Up

            Oh yes, the blackout policy is laughably stupid. I wonder, is a team like the Raiders allowed to price a bunch of seats at $10 to just sell the place out?

            Meanwhile…we haven’t gotten one trick-or-treater and some weasel stole our three jack-o-lanterns on Friday (including the one carved with the A’s logo.)

      • mother pucker Oct 31,2010 5:06 pm || Up

        The schedule is what it is, but for the two games a year that are determined based on last year’s standings, the Raiders are @ Pittsburgh and home against the Dolphins (yet to lose on the road), while the Chiefs played in Cleveland (barely winning) and got Buffalo at home today.

        Ultimately though, the Raiders can most likely look at the Cardinals and 9ers games if they end up failing to make it to the show.

        Is it time to formerly open the DHB/Crabtree debate?

        • FreeSeatUpgrade Oct 31,2010 5:20 pm || Up

          Wrote my comment below over 10 minutes in between bouts of cracking my kids heads together (metaphorically of course).

          DHB sucks, and every time I hear his name mentioned I want Al Davis’ Hall of Fame membership revoked.

          "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
          • mother pucker Oct 31,2010 6:04 pm || Up

            He’s not very good, but neither is Crabtree.

            • nevermoor Oct 31,2010 9:37 pm || Up

              What makes you say that?

              Crabtree has great hands and runs good routes.

              "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
      • FreeSeatUpgrade Oct 31,2010 5:16 pm || Up

        I’m convinced that the Raiders don’t suck anywhere near the way they’ve sucked in recent years. They’ve only had one “bad loss,” to that team across the bay, and the defense is flat-out good. If I thought McFadden could stay healthy I might be downright excited. But he won’t.

        The schedule the rest of the way through is tough (Indy, Pitt, Miami), and if KC is real (two left), it’s brutal. I’ll still be happy with an 8-8 finish. Which, hell, if KC returns to earth could still mean contention.

        Mediocrity. It’s an East Bay thing.

        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  44. nanotrebuchet Oct 31,2010 1:35 pm

    dang, matsui had a 124 ops+ this year?

  45. ptbnl Oct 31,2010 6:22 pm

    I’m expecting to hear Tim wax lyrical about Sanchez’ AB preparing the way for Huff in 3, 2, 1 …

    If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
  46. monkeyball Oct 31,2010 6:36 pm

    Is the ump’s strikezone as bad as it’s sounding?

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • mother pucker Oct 31,2010 7:26 pm || Up

      Going off the graph NewsCorp is displaying, it appears “acceptable” for both teams. Some misses here and there, but for the most part okay. There have been some interesting calls at 1st, though.

    • ptbnl Nov 1,2010 3:03 pm || Up

      Not perfect, but not awful.

      If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
      • monkeyball Nov 1,2010 3:07 pm || Up

        Looks like Texas pitchers got a bit hosed. That one right down the pipe is should be pretty embarrassing for Winters.

        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
        • grover Nov 1,2010 3:39 pm || Up

          Yeah. I see 8 pitches thrown by Texas pitchers that should have been called strikes. SF pitchers got screwed twice.

          • ptbnl Nov 1,2010 3:43 pm || Up

            On the other hand, they also got balls further out of the zone called strikes.

            If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
  47. mother pucker Oct 31,2010 7:33 pm

    What is the over/under on # of times McCarver will mention how Torres’ non ground-rule double and Kinsler’s non-HR?

  48. nanotrebuchet Oct 31,2010 8:23 pm

    Halloween is a great holiday. Here is femtotrebuchet in a homemade Yoda outfit.

    • ptbnl Oct 31,2010 9:00 pm || Up

      Yes it is.

      Tinkerbell and her Kindergarten teacher Frida Kahlo:

      If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
    • batgirl Nov 1,2010 10:42 am || Up

      The Force is strong with that one.

      • nanotrebuchet Nov 1,2010 10:45 am || Up

        If 900 years old were you, nap through Halloween party too would you.

  49. Poppy Oct 31,2010 9:58 pm

    Slightly surreal FB post OTD:

    There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
    • Poppy Oct 31,2010 10:02 pm || Up

      btw, why do the French write “lol” instead of “rab” or something?

      There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
  50. nanotrebuchet Nov 1,2010 7:22 am

    Logic Fail.

    It’s easier to canvass neighborhoods that are walkable so we measured as the share of people who walk to work–and also those that have a greater density of population.

    I bet that it is actually difficult to canvass neighborhoods with multiunit complexes unless (like us) you live in a complex large enough that you can confine trick-or-treating to *only* your building. The best bet is probably a suburban area with smallish lots (<0.25 acre). Higher density of housing or population does not imply higher density of accessible trick-or-treating homes, and an area that is "walkable" for commuting is not necessarily "walkable" with costumed kids during dusk/sunset.

    The most over-the-top costumes and celebrations often occur in artistic neighborhoods, so we included the fraction of artists, designers, and other cultural creatives.

    I think you’d be more likely to find adults without children in these neighborhoods; often they will be at their own party or else completely uninterested in handing out candy to children.

    • monkeyball Nov 1,2010 9:03 am || Up

      I was sure that link was going to be to that lady at sfgate who looks like the lesbian partner of Ross’s wife from Friends.

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
      • nanotrebuchet Nov 1,2010 9:40 am || Up

        Are you talking about Magowan?

  51. nevermoor Nov 1,2010 9:55 am
    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  52. nevermoor Nov 1,2010 10:05 am

    There’s just win all around in what might be the world’s greatest fanshot (McC warning).

    I think the “Second to Nen” idea is the best start in the thread though.

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • monkeyball Nov 1,2010 10:12 am || Up

      I love that he and Braden are pals.

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come

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