Haiku Off Day ← FREE KRAUT!

Haiku Off Day 41

In the spirit of Ice Cream’s most excellent new filking effort, I thought I’d bring another old tradition back. Instead of Haiku Friday, though, let’s make it a Haiku Off Day. I’m guessing there will be fewer of them.

Got mask in pocket
If I don’t put it on soon
I’ll make you more tense

41 thoughts on “Haiku Off Day

  1. sslinger Apr 22,2021 1:05 pm

    A’s stealing bases
    High socks flying, dirty pants
    The new moneyball

    Jurickson Profar
    Jurickson Profar, Profar
    Jurickson Profar

    Mitch Moreland I used
    to dread your at bats, but now
    I like you to hit

  2. FreeSeatUpgrade Apr 22,2021 2:29 pm

    Old Man Jed returns
    Extra base hits, two ear flaps
    Today’s Tom Sawyer

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  3. ptbnl Apr 22,2021 2:35 pm

    zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom
    zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom
    zoom zoom zoom zoom sleep

    If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
  4. vignette17 Apr 22,2021 4:08 pm

    It’s been eighteen months
    Since in person I saw troughs
    The field and free kraut

    But victories taste
    Sweet in person or TV
    There’s been quite a few

    What could be better
    Than eleven straight A’s wins?
    Maybe we try twelve?

    Oakland is in first
    After 0 and 6, who’d guess?
    Not me…..nonetheless

  5. 5Aces Apr 22,2021 4:16 pm

    Shit I just fucked up
    No I’m not taking no load
    Stuff that Ramon says

    Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
  6. Soaker Apr 22,2021 4:25 pm

    Flew to Florida
    Got tested for Covid today
    I got tested for Covid
    I’m negative. Yay!

    (learn to count dammit)

    What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
    • sslinger Apr 22,2021 5:01 pm || Up

      Did they try to pry

      The mask off your warm tan face

      While in restaurants?

      • Soaker Apr 22,2021 5:10 pm || Up

        Most people wear masks
        They take them off while eating
        A bit of risk there

        Worse on the airplanes
        Most every seat was taken
        Thought I’d better test

        What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
  7. sslinger Apr 22,2021 4:27 pm

    Assembly of two
    heat lamps; white glove service can’t
    return soon enough

  8. Glorious Mundy Apr 22,2021 5:06 pm

    secret war on cash
    what I found out blew my mind
    back to a’s baseball

  9. Glorious Mundy Apr 22,2021 5:18 pm

    extra load? not me
    the baseball gods will provide
    smells like victory

  10. Glorious Mundy Apr 22,2021 5:20 pm

    draft report about
    environmental impact
    howard terminal

  11. Glorious Mundy Apr 22,2021 5:26 pm

    Castellanos up
    a drive into deep left field
    a man of faith fired

  12. Soaker Apr 22,2021 5:29 pm

    The A’s have night off
    I’ll watch Padres and Dodgers
    Not FKing Giants

    What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
    • Soaker Apr 22,2021 7:08 pm || Up

      Muncy and Neuse
      Profar in the lineup too
      Rooting for ex-A’s

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
      • Soaker Apr 22,2021 8:38 pm || Up

        On tip of my tongue
        Song Dodgers’ organist plays
        When Neuse is up

        It’s about “The Noise”
        But I can’t quite recall it
        It’s very Eighties

        What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
        • Glorious Mundy Apr 22,2021 8:44 pm || Up

          Cum on Feel the Noize?
          From 1973
          Hair band covered it

          • Soaker Apr 22,2021 8:49 pm || Up

            Thanks so much for that
            It was by “Quiet Riot”
            Was driving me nuts

            What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
            • 5Aces Apr 23,2021 6:31 am || Up

              A glam rock classic
              Slade did the original
              What a crazee band

              Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
              • ptbnl Apr 23,2021 9:22 am || Up

                Don Powell, Jim Lea,
                Dave Hill, and Noddy Holder
                Wolv’rampton’s finest.

                If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
              • Soaker Apr 23,2021 9:57 am || Up

                On that music type
                I’m not a font of knowledge
                Just vague memories

                What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
                • ptbnl Apr 23,2021 10:00 am || Up

                  Every Thursday night
                  Required pre-teen viewing
                  “Top of the Pops”, loud

                  Decades later though
                  Jimmy Saville’s molesting
                  Hides in plainest sight

                  If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
    • Soaker Apr 22,2021 9:16 pm || Up

      Pagan in to pitch
      Pollock and Neuse homer
      Back to back, game tied

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
      • FreeSeatUpgrade Apr 22,2021 9:22 pm || Up

        Fair Emilio!
        Shorn of curls, and curves, and stuff
        Neuse first time dong

        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • Soaker Apr 22,2021 9:30 pm || Up

      Oh man here’s Treinen
      Speaking of ex-Athletics
      They will decide this

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
  13. Future Ed Apr 22,2021 5:30 pm

    rooting for the astros
    the angels are terrible
    it is dinnertime

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
  14. Ice Cream Apr 22,2021 7:59 pm

    improbable win
    streaks and dials that can go
    up to eleven

    Where is the good in "good-bye"?
  15. FreeSeatUpgrade Apr 22,2021 10:52 pm

    Spotted: one A’s hat
    Current season of Top Chef
    Has guy from Oakland

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • andeux May 6,2021 9:15 pm || Up
      The chef from Oakland
      Out with a strained MCL
      A true Athletic
      TINSTAAFK
    • sslinger May 8,2021 2:22 pm || Up

      Feeding Vince and Ken

      Lots of pub for Alamar

      Foss must be jealous

  16. Soaker Apr 23,2021 10:18 am

    Always lots of rain
    When the A’s hit Baltimore
    Looks like this time too

    Wet Saturday night
    Likely would cause postponement
    Two games on Sunday?

    What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
    • Future Ed Apr 23,2021 11:01 am || Up

      Roster crunch coming
      Fiers ready to come back
      twenty-seventh guy?

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
  17. Soaker Apr 23,2021 11:48 am

    Brewers at Wrigley
    Brett starts, throws a few pitches
    Trainer out, Brett leaves

    What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
    • Soaker Apr 23,2021 12:19 pm || Up

      It looked like Brett’s knee
      Ex-A Josh Lindblom came in
      Cubs 10, Brewers zip

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
    • Soaker Apr 23,2021 1:49 pm || Up

      Cubs radio ad
      For a great vacation spot
      It’s Pat Boone-worthy

      “Catch Des Moines dot com
      The S’s are Silent, the
      City is Buzzing!”

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
  18. FreeSeatUpgrade Apr 23,2021 12:26 pm

    Ice Cream and sslinger
    Inspired return to whimsy
    Thank you both so much

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • mikeA Apr 23,2021 2:15 pm || Up

      I have to concur
      Despite the fact that I am
      Not good at haiku(s?)

    • sslinger Apr 23,2021 3:01 pm || Up

      I am so impressed
      At how much you krauters have
      Embraced the whimsy

  19. Glorious Mundy Apr 29,2021 5:27 pm

    Will Shortz reads Free Kraut
    elcroata would have done
    a better version

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