A Rosales by any other name ← FREE KRAUT!

A Rosales by any other name 113

will hit so much better, but won’t fill the hustle-y goofiness void. See ya, Adam, I’ll remember you fondly.

Garcia v Gossett
Mejia v C. Smith
Bartolo v “Sonny”

"Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."

113 thoughts on “A Rosales by any other name

  1. FreeSeatUpgrade FreeSeatUpgrade Jul 28,2017 7:42 pm

    To be clear, if he’s still on the roster Monday I will burn down Billy’s house.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • andeux andeux Jul 28,2017 7:52 pm || Up

      That must be why he uses 6000 gallons of water per day.

      TINSTAAFK
  2. Soaker Soaker Jul 28,2017 7:47 pm

    “Zack Granite” sounds like a cartoon character. “It’s time for the adventures of Zack Granite and his trusty dog, Sparky!” It wouldn’t have been on the networks on Saturday morning; it would have been on Channel 36 and Zack and his friends and the villains would have had the creepy moving lips.

  3. doctorK doctorK Jul 28,2017 7:47 pm

    If this is Rosie’s last game, I hope he has a good one, before the door hits him in the ass on his way out.

  4. FreeSeatUpgrade FreeSeatUpgrade Jul 28,2017 7:48 pm

    Nice relay from Rosie to cut down a run at the plate last inning.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  5. Soaker Soaker Jul 28,2017 7:52 pm

    …whereas a Lavarnway sounds like something a door to door salesman would peddle. “Ma’am, I’d like to demonstrate the new and improved Lavarnway vacuum cleaner. The lady of the house deserves a machine as fine as this one!”

    • doctorK doctorK Jul 28,2017 7:55 pm || Up

      Fitting, since his strikeout with the bases loaded and no outs sucked.

    • FreeSeatUpgrade FreeSeatUpgrade Jul 28,2017 7:56 pm || Up

      Airing right after Zack Granite yields to Bob Barker.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  6. FreeSeatUpgrade FreeSeatUpgrade Jul 28,2017 7:54 pm

    Ugh, from bags juiced none out to that.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  7. doctorK doctorK Jul 28,2017 7:58 pm

    Holy shit, Chapman is for real at 3B.

  8. andeux andeux Jul 28,2017 7:59 pm

    Chapman, wow.

    TINSTAAFK
  9. FreeSeatUpgrade FreeSeatUpgrade Jul 28,2017 7:59 pm

    Wow, excellent play. Also momentarily saved us from the incredibly awkward booth interview.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • Soaker Soaker Jul 28,2017 8:01 pm || Up

      I hope Bed is watching in Hawaii and learning all about Mr. Eazy.

    • andeux andeux Jul 28,2017 8:01 pm || Up

      There’s a generation gap or three between Ray and G-Eazy.

      TINSTAAFK
    • FreeSeatUpgrade FreeSeatUpgrade Jul 28,2017 8:01 pm || Up

      Oh god it’s getting worse

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  10. Soaker Soaker Jul 28,2017 8:18 pm

    Bob’s 1000-win cake is going to be awfully stale by the time they get around to cutting it.

  11. Soaker Soaker Jul 28,2017 8:24 pm

    Well this is painful.

    • FreeSeatUpgrade FreeSeatUpgrade Jul 28,2017 8:26 pm || Up

      Yuck.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • andeux andeux Jul 28,2017 8:27 pm || Up

      I turned it off moments before

      Sano reached on an infield single to shortstop, Dozier scored on catcher Lavarnway fielding error

      Do I want to know?

      TINSTAAFK
      • Soaker Soaker Jul 28,2017 8:30 pm || Up

        Should have been two errors on the play, the first on Semien for his throw to first.

  12. Soaker Soaker Jul 28,2017 8:58 pm

    Sometime before the end of the season it would be nice to see Montas put together a little string of appearances where he doesn’t suck.

  13. Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Jul 29,2017 11:29 am

    Holy crapola.

    Albert Pujols is currently at -1.3 fWAR for the season with a wRC+ of 72!!

    4yrs/$114 million left on the contract!!!!

    • Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Jul 29,2017 11:35 am || Up

      FKwiz!

      Pujols currently has the second worst fWAR in the majors. Who has the worst?

      • Future Ed Future Ed Jul 29,2017 12:20 pm || Up

        wow. was not my guess.

        interesting

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
        • Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Jul 29,2017 12:22 pm || Up

          I was shocked. And he’s far and away the worst.

      • ptbnl Jul 29,2017 12:29 pm || Up

        Santiago Casilla.

        If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
    • ptbnl Jul 29,2017 12:38 pm || Up

      Frankie Montas’ -0.7 in 32 IP is an impressive rate of return.

      If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
      • Soaker Soaker Jul 29,2017 4:12 pm || Up

        Mark Canha, Trevor Plouffe and Chris Carter join Montas in giving the bottom 50 some nice Green and Gold tones.

    • ptbnl Jul 29,2017 12:42 pm || Up

      Makes the Dodgers’ $22.4M for one more year of Adrian Gonzalez (-0.8) look like a bargain.

      If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
  14. Soaker Soaker Jul 29,2017 6:42 pm

    They kept showing the center field angle which indicated out, but I’m not sure Alonso’s foot was on the bag.

    • Soaker Soaker Jul 29,2017 6:48 pm || Up

      …and that is why the safe call was confirmed; I still haven’t seen another replay looking down the line to re-check that.

      • doctorK doctorK Jul 29,2017 6:51 pm || Up

        I wish the A’s catchers would just bean guys running inside the baseline on plays like that. First, they’d get the out call, and second, the other team would never do that again.

        • Soaker Soaker Jul 29,2017 7:11 pm || Up

          It’s a good theory, but realistically on a play like that the catcher usually has to pick up the ball and throw in one quick motion, and doesn’t have time to process whether he should aim for the batter’s back rather than the mitt.

  15. Soaker Soaker Jul 29,2017 7:02 pm

    When an A’s pitcher is caught picking his nose instead of covering first base, the A’s give up runs every time. I see it doesn’t work the other way.

  16. Soaker Soaker Jul 29,2017 7:14 pm

    I don’t expect much from Chris Smith except keeping this bullpen out of the game as long as possible, and 63 pitches to get through 3 innings doesn’t quite cut it.

    • Soaker Soaker Jul 29,2017 7:48 pm || Up

      …and when Smith has to throw 2-0 and 3-1 pitches to Miguel Sano, it’s not likely to end well.

  17. Soaker Soaker Jul 29,2017 7:24 pm

    I laughed in that half-inning when *Twins* radio announcer Dan Gladden, discussing the A’s roster, said “They went out and wasted money on Trevor Plouffe!”

  18. Soaker Soaker Jul 29,2017 8:08 pm

    It’s too bad it’s a Chris Smith/Josh Smith kind of night, because looking at the schedule, aside from the Monday/Tuesday Giants games this is most likely the A’s largest crowd for the rest of the season.

    • Soaker Soaker Jul 29,2017 8:09 pm || Up

      Oh, wait, Dull defers that. I saw J. Smith warming up and assumed he was next.

  19. Soaker Soaker Jul 29,2017 8:41 pm

    Ouch. Healy was safe pretty easily on that one.

  20. Soaker Soaker Jul 29,2017 9:07 pm

    If Ken is lurking from the afterparty in Cooperstown, that was a “Swung on, gone!”

  21. FreeSeatUpgrade FreeSeatUpgrade Jul 29,2017 9:18 pm

    Bring on the fireworks!

    In the upper deck at least the anti-sea kites are highly effective.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  22. Soaker Soaker Jul 29,2017 9:25 pm

    This is the final chance to enjoy Bob’s 1000-win cake. They don’t win tonight, they’re donating that to a homeless camp for sharing there, and buying a few boxes of Twinkies for the eventual celebration.

  23. Soaker Soaker Jul 29,2017 9:31 pm

    Pie! Cake!!! 1000!!!

  24. Future Ed Future Ed Jul 29,2017 9:36 pm

    Never in doubt.

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • nevermoor nevermoor Jul 30,2017 11:22 am || Up

      That was definitely the FKing consensus

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  25. FreeSeatUpgrade FreeSeatUpgrade Jul 29,2017 11:17 pm

    Celebrate good times. Come on!

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  26. Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Jul 30,2017 12:50 pm
    • andeux andeux Jul 30,2017 1:16 pm || Up

      Totally guessing:

      Tejada, Giambi, Reggie, Thomas, Carter, Rajai.

      Edit: not guessing well.

      TINSTAAFK
      • Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Jul 30,2017 1:29 pm || Up

        Those were really good guesses though.

    • Soaker Soaker Jul 30,2017 2:35 pm || Up

      Having looked at andeux’s guesses, but not the answer, I’m going to go outside the box, in some cases because I specifically remember one.

      Joe Rudi, Tony Armas, Rickey Henderson, Jermaine Dye, Josh Willingham, Rajai Davis

      Edit: Ooh I got one besides the obvious! Actually I thought I remembered

      Willingham

      doing it but he’s not there.

      • Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Jul 30,2017 2:49 pm || Up

        He definitely got us the year after he left. I think he hit a 3-run shot for us to tie a game in the bottom of the ninth (in a game we won) but not a walkoff.

  27. Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Jul 30,2017 12:51 pm

  28. Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Jul 30,2017 1:09 pm

    Cotton picking up where he left off.

    • FreeSeatUpgrade FreeSeatUpgrade Jul 30,2017 2:05 pm || Up

      His control appears to be, shall we say, sporadic. I would also accept “horseshit.”

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  29. Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Jul 30,2017 1:18 pm

    Oh hi Bartolo

    • Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Jul 30,2017 1:52 pm || Up

      He is spinning a lot more junk up there than he was four years ago.

      • Soaker Soaker Jul 30,2017 3:33 pm || Up

        It’s very courteous of the A’s to give him a chance at a final major league win (would be #236). Since the A’s aren’t playing any more games against the Twins this season, the Twins’ off day tomorrow presents a logical opportunity to announce his retirement.

  30. MikeV MikeV Jul 30,2017 2:25 pm

    Not signing this guy was probably one of Billy’s biggest FKups

    And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

    Thanks, and go As.

    • Future Ed Future Ed Jul 30,2017 4:22 pm || Up

      he is so great, I like his family sprinting to the sign

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • Future Ed Future Ed Jul 30,2017 9:37 pm || Up

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
  31. FreeSeatUpgrade FreeSeatUpgrade Jul 30,2017 3:38 pm

    Khris ate his Wheaties today.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  32. Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Jul 30,2017 3:58 pm

    Chapman gives me hope.

    • andeux andeux Jul 30,2017 4:13 pm || Up

      Having someone good at defense is weird. Gonna take some getting used to.

      TINSTAAFK
  33. Soaker Soaker Jul 30,2017 4:06 pm

    That was an A’s-worthy TOOTBLAN, and by a pinch-runner no less.

    • Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Jul 30,2017 4:08 pm || Up

      Does the first T in TOOTBLAN stand for “thrown” or “tagged”? That determines whether that qualified.

  34. Soaker Soaker Jul 30,2017 4:20 pm

    Rosie’s playing career is extended just a bit longer.

  35. Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Jul 30,2017 4:21 pm

    Mmmmmm nachos

  36. Soaker Soaker Jul 30,2017 4:29 pm

    If I tried that, I would never walk again.

    • Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Jul 30,2017 4:37 pm || Up

      I could survive it in sneakers, but not in spikes.

  37. Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Jul 30,2017 4:30 pm

    Stuck the landing. Thank god.

    • Future Ed Future Ed Jul 30,2017 4:36 pm || Up

      gatorade horse?

      I am glad he had the presence of mind not to have heeded trumps advice to police

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
  38. Soaker Soaker Jul 30,2017 4:41 pm

    Josh Smith enters tie game, win expectancy falls off the cliff.

  39. Soaker Soaker Jul 30,2017 4:46 pm

    Dozier doesn’t want to get kicked out of an extra-inning game, but I would not have blamed him right there.

    • Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Jul 30,2017 4:48 pm || Up

      Josh Smith getting the Livan Hernandez/Eric Gregg strike zone would be frustrating.

    • Soaker Soaker Jul 30,2017 5:10 pm || Up

      Do your damned job McFalconface.

      • FreeSeatUpgrade FreeSeatUpgrade Jul 30,2017 5:12 pm || Up

        Worked really well last night. Might not be so deceptive in sunlight.

        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  40. Future Ed Future Ed Jul 30,2017 4:57 pm

    i wish I was in the front row, I am sure you could hear the bat on the ground and the screams

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
  41. FreeSeatUpgrade FreeSeatUpgrade Jul 30,2017 5:10 pm

    Wow that was the best seagull slo-mo ever

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  42. Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Jul 30,2017 5:11 pm

    That was amazing.

  43. Soaker Soaker Jul 30,2017 5:14 pm

    I doubt that’s Alonso’s final act as an Athletic, but not bad if it was.

  44. FreeSeatUpgrade FreeSeatUpgrade Jul 30,2017 5:14 pm

    Yonder to victory!

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  45. Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Jul 30,2017 5:14 pm

    Extend that man.

  46. andeux andeux Jul 30,2017 5:15 pm

    A’s tomorrow or not?: Gray, Alonso, Lowrie, Rosales

    TINSTAAFK
    • Soaker Soaker Jul 30,2017 5:17 pm || Up

      No, yes, yes, no.

      • Soaker Soaker Jul 30,2017 5:21 pm || Up

        Alonso would have a decent chance of clearing waivers. Lowrie’s contract option is not that expensive; he has some value in the offseason. I think somebody will offer enough to grab Gray, who Billy seems to consider a hot potato due to injury risk.

        • Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Jul 30,2017 5:23 pm || Up

          They just seemed so determined to move Lowrie to clear 2B for Barreto. But if there are no offers, there are no offers.

    • FreeSeatUpgrade FreeSeatUpgrade Jul 30,2017 5:20 pm || Up

      Lowrie goes, Gray and Alonso stay, Rosales goes to live on a farm upstate.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • Soaker Soaker Jul 30,2017 5:37 pm || Up

        As long as he remembers that the brown acid that is circulating around us is not specifically too good.

    • Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Jul 30,2017 5:22 pm || Up

      no, yes, no, yes

  47. Soaker Soaker Jul 30,2017 5:16 pm

    I hope when Rosie gets back to the clubhouse he finds a very nice bottle of champagne in his locker.

    He should enjoy the rest of the summer with his family. He’ll be in baseball for the next 30 years as a coach or manager. He’s from Chicago; I wouldn’t be surprised if the A’s hired him as Beloit’s manager for next season.

  48. Soaker Soaker Jul 30,2017 9:05 pm

    LOL Giants. The magic number for the Dodgers to eliminate the Giants from the division title drops to 23. The 1962 Mets were mathematically eliminated on August 10.

  49. Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Jul 30,2017 9:50 pm

  50. AV AV Jul 31,2017 9:40 am

    going to the game tonight because someone needed a burrito mule, and that’s me.

    what’s up with the bart parking lot these days, especially a day like today (monday night, cross bay rivalry, dual suckage — which is difficult to parse into an expectancy)?

    *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • AV AV Jul 31,2017 5:12 pm || Up

      so my date can’t make it. newsblast rollout API techworld problems, blah blah blah.

      i have an extra ticket if you wanna join 4 aging hepsters and a burrito. call me / FB me if that’s you.

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  51. Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Jul 31,2017 10:21 am

    Eno Sarris and Melissa Lockard are both joining up with Kawakami’s thing. That makes me feel pretty confident they are going to have serious A’s coverage.

    • Soaker Soaker Jul 31,2017 1:24 pm || Up

      Right now they have the A’s, Giants, Raiders, 49ers, Warriors and Sharks listed for coverage (I can select favorite teams in my profile). No Cal or Stanford as yet, and no soccer. From their other cities they have Notre Dame, Michigan and Michigan State and Ohio State, plus Toronto FC and the Chicago Fire.

      • MikeV MikeV Jul 31,2017 11:41 pm || Up

        Quakes or nah

        And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

        Thanks, and go As.

        • Soaker Soaker Aug 1,2017 8:51 am || Up

          Kawakami’s opening piece says:

          Shortly, we will announce other full-time staffers; the 49ers and the Warriors are our major focus points to start, but we will also be covering the Raiders, Giants, A’s, Sharks, Earthquakes and local colleges.

          We’ll have great contributors like Danny Leroux, Phil Taylor, John Middlekauff, Lisa Olson, Eno Sarris, Rob Arthur, Mychael Urban, Melissa Lockard, Dieter Kurtenbach, Steve Berman, David Pollak, David Lombardi, Ross McKeon, Michelle Smith, Art Spander and many more.

          We promise that we will eventually cover everything important in Bay Area sports, and I hope you keep us to that.

          You Mychael Urban fans all hop on board now.

          • Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Aug 2,2017 11:40 am || Up

            If I have a worry, it would be that Kawakami has always been more interested in basketball and football (specifically the 49ers) than baseball. That could have been just a reflection of what San Jose readers were interested in.

            They need to work on the mobile site. There’s no link to the bay area section on the main page.

  52. Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Jul 31,2017 4:23 pm

    This is on the one hand a fairly remarkable thing for a Republican senator to write, and on the other hand pretty lacking in an actual plan to do something.

    • Soaker Soaker Jul 31,2017 4:34 pm || Up

      They get down on their knees every night and pray for a heart attack or stroke, and plan on invoking the 25th Amendment.

  53. Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Jul 31,2017 6:05 pm

    Gio No No through eight.

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