Mess with Texas ← FREE KRAUT!

Mess with Texas 191

Cotton vs. A.J. Griffin, today
Triggs vs. Darvish, Tues.
Hahn vs. Martin Perez, Wed.

191 thoughts on “Mess with Texas

  1. andeux Apr 17,2017 7:17 pm

    TINSTAAFK
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Apr 17,2017 7:30 pm || Up

      Jharel needs strike outs
      The lineup behind him sucks
      And can’t catch either

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  2. andeux Apr 17,2017 7:22 pm

    Surprised they didn’t challenge.
    Looked out to me, both in real time and on replay.

    TINSTAAFK
  3. lenscrafters Apr 17,2017 7:22 pm

    They’re not going to challenge? He looked out to me.

  4. doctorK Apr 17,2017 7:41 pm

    FK you, Rajai

  5. andeux Apr 17,2017 7:42 pm

    Rajai Out.

    TINSTAAFK
  6. FreeSeatUpgrade Apr 17,2017 7:42 pm

    Rajai, you weren’t brought back here to channel Jemile Weeks.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  7. lenscrafters Apr 17,2017 7:43 pm

    Decker looked like the only major leaguer on the field Sunday and he’s not playing today?

  8. MikeV Apr 17,2017 7:46 pm

    TBH, that Korean heritage beanie looks like Rangers gear with an A’s logo on it.

    And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

    Thanks, and go As.

    • doctorK Apr 17,2017 7:53 pm || Up

      Do.Not.Want.

      I wouldn’t mind some Korean BBQ, though.

  9. doctorK Apr 17,2017 8:08 pm

    AJ Griffin, strikeout machine.

  10. lenscrafters Apr 17,2017 8:09 pm

    This sad, sad lineup.

  11. doctorK Apr 17,2017 8:30 pm

    FK you, Rajai (again), although that error should be on Rosales, so, actually, FK you, Rosie.

    • MikeV Apr 17,2017 10:58 pm || Up

      And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

      Thanks, and go As.

  12. andeux Apr 17,2017 8:31 pm

    Even if you don’t care about service time, I can believe that Barreto really does need more time at AAA.
    But 6 weeks(+) is an awfully long time to go with Rosales (or Pinder) starting at SS.

    TINSTAAFK
  13. FreeSeatUpgrade Apr 17,2017 8:37 pm

    Well, the hockey playoffs have been good viewing at least.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  14. Future Ed Apr 17,2017 8:43 pm

    dammit, I was all ready to make “dyson SUCKS!” jokes

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
  15. Future Ed Apr 17,2017 9:09 pm

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • lenscrafters Apr 18,2017 7:37 am || Up

      Well gee, it’s almost like drafting a pitcher with shoulder issues in college is a dumb fucking idea.

      • Glorious Mundy Apr 20,2017 2:00 pm || Up

        At least it’s not the shoulder?

        • dmoas Apr 21,2017 10:08 am || Up

          Probably should remove the word “prospect” there. At least stick it in quotes.

  16. Future Ed Apr 17,2017 9:13 pm

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • Soaker Apr 17,2017 10:07 pm || Up

      It was a scintillating evening of baseball, and those who ignored the crappy weather and showed up to support the A’s will never forget it.

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
    • MikeV Apr 17,2017 10:59 pm || Up

      WELL OVER FIFTY IN ATTENDANCE, RAY.

      And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

      Thanks, and go As.

    • MikeV Apr 17,2017 10:59 pm || Up

      Alt: Thank FK we are removing the tarps.

      And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

      Thanks, and go As.

  17. Future Ed Apr 17,2017 9:32 pm

    a hit!

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
  18. Glorious Mundy Apr 17,2017 9:33 pm

    This season has taken a turn for the dreary.

    • Future Ed Apr 17,2017 9:35 pm || Up

      two hits in an inning not good enough for you?

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
  19. Glorious Mundy Apr 18,2017 10:09 am

    Who?

    • Soaker Apr 18,2017 10:19 am || Up

      If Alcantara can’t make that start his presence on the roster is a total black hole.

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
  20. Glorious Mundy Apr 18,2017 10:11 am

    Cool Slusser story on Steve Vucinich includes this fun blind item:

    Last year, an A’s player asked Vucinich to send some clubhouse workers to a restaurant in San Francisco to pick up dinner for the player and bring it to the team’s plane when it landed in Oakland. He said a firm no to that one.

    Also, the sourcing on this anecdote makes me think it is probably horseshit:

    “Madonna used to call in to get ahold of me and her code name was Melissa,” Canseco said. “Vuc would have to come tell me, ‘Hey, Jose, you’ve got a phone call from Melissa,’ and we’d all laugh because we knew it was Madonna. He’s probably the greatest clubhouse guy ever.”

    • batgirl Apr 18,2017 5:36 pm || Up

      I was wondering which spoiled asshole asked for the dinner. Who does that?

      • MikeV Apr 18,2017 6:04 pm || Up

        Likely guess? Valencia.

        Unless it was Vogt doing it as a prank. Or Dillon Overton.

        And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

        Thanks, and go As.

        • Soaker Apr 18,2017 6:09 pm || Up

          .146/.215/.272 was tolerated but pissing Vuc off got Chris Coghlan’s ass shipped out of town.

          What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
        • Englishmajor Apr 19,2017 2:10 pm || Up

          The clue is that the restaurant was “House of Country Breakfasts”.

          • Glorious Mundy Apr 19,2017 2:12 pm || Up

            Vuc’s response: What am I, your butler?

      • Future Ed Apr 18,2017 6:08 pm || Up

        and what restaurant

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • Future Ed Apr 18,2017 5:57 pm || Up

      size 18?

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
  21. Soaker Apr 18,2017 10:22 am

    I’ll be interested to see what Bob does with the lineup tomorrow vs. a lefty. With Rosales as the regular shortstop it wouldn’t make much sense to use him as a platoon right fielder, and a great way to turn Joyce from a useful player into a piece of crap would be to start him against lefthanders. I would say the least-bad option is to use Decker as Joyce’s “platoon partner”, and then to be fair also give Decker some starts in center against righthanders in relief of Rajai.

    What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
    • andeux Apr 18,2017 12:03 pm || Up

      I would think Pinder SS, Rosales RF.

      Currently of the 13 hitters on the roster, five (Joyce, Vogt, Alonso, Decker, Maxwell) are lefties, and all should have pretty large platoon splits – Joyce has the largest split historically, but is also the best overall hitter. No matter what, at least one of those five has to be in the lineup, probably Vogt at DH or Alonso at 1B. If you’re not playing Pinder, than at least two of them have to be in the lineup, and Joyce is probably as good a choice as any.

      I have their projected splits using ec’s method, but just using past major league performance, which is too small to be meaningful for Decker or Maxwell. But looking at Decker last year in AAA (.253/.352/.426 vs RHP, .210/.336/.286 vs LHP) also indicates that he is probably not “least-bad.”

      TINSTAAFK
      • nevermoor Apr 18,2017 2:13 pm || Up

        Any analysis–however correct–concluding that Rosales should start for us in the Outfield is enough to make me lose my lunch.

        "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
      • Soaker Apr 18,2017 3:59 pm || Up

        Even with Rosales’ established ability to suck at a number of positions, I see shortstop as a position where one player should play it consistently except for the occasional day off. Pinder is here to start for Lowrie once or twice a week, because they don’t think Lowrie can hold up physically for much more than 110-115 games/year, or to take over at SS after they pinch-hit for Rosales, as happened last night. I was willing to go along with Rosales as a platoon RF on the assumption that Semien was going to miss a few games, not 60.

        What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
  22. FreeSeatUpgrade Apr 18,2017 11:03 am

    @GM: Jose Canseco, though a total horse’s ass to be sure, has been proved to be fairly credible since his steroid book came poor.

    Also, bamboo bats?!

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • Glorious Mundy Apr 18,2017 11:07 am || Up

      Credible on steroid use? Probably. Credible on whether the biggest pop star of the time was not only banging him but calling the clubhouse to make booty calls? Less so.

      • Soaker Apr 18,2017 11:43 am || Up

        Canseco-Madonna was widely reported at the time, but I believe it only happened when the A’s were in New York, once or perhaps twice. Madonna is way too smart to let that become an ongoing thing.

        What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
        • nevermoor Apr 18,2017 11:51 am || Up

          He, generally, was pretty damn hot shit before he became a complete joke.

          "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
          • Glorious Mundy Apr 18,2017 12:02 pm || Up

            Right up until the moment that ball bounced off his head. I don’t know if any other athlete has gone from legend to laughingstock in an instant like that.

          • Soaker Apr 18,2017 4:07 pm || Up

            Being seen with Madonna was a turning point in his career. You think Canha can’t play the outfield, you should have seen Jose when he first came up. But he worked hard at it and became an average outfielder for 2 or 3 years, coinciding with the A’s World Series appearances. He always wanted to be a rock star sort, though, and the attention he and Madonna got made that more appealing to him than continuing to work at being a good baseball player. La Russa got sick of his attitude and so did a few members of the team, with Lansford and Steinbach quoted in the papers about it.

            They were able to dump Canseco and his contract, and picked up Ruben Sierra who was an impending free agent. I assumed they were going to let Sierra go at the end of that season and sign some other stud outfielder (Kirby Puckett was a free agent at the same time), but they inexplicably re-signed the Village Idiot and proceeded to suck for the rest of the century.

            What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
            • FreeSeatUpgrade Apr 18,2017 4:42 pm || Up

              Relevant:

              "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • Glorious Mundy Apr 18,2017 11:11 am || Up

      The story about him bringing cases of Coors east to Carl Yazstremski and Dwight Evans is also great. My dad told me about Coors once being considered a rare delicacy, but I never really believed him.

      • FreeSeatUpgrade Apr 18,2017 11:22 am || Up

        It’s the entire premise of Smokey and the Bandit.

        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
        • Glorious Mundy Apr 18,2017 11:34 am || Up

          My cultural education somehow skipped over that fine piece of American cinema.

        • Soaker Apr 18,2017 11:41 am || Up

          The Official Beer of every California high school in the late 70s.

          What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
  23. Glorious Mundy Apr 18,2017 11:59 am
    • Glorious Mundy Apr 19,2017 9:31 am || Up

      I was right when I said in July 2014 that the A’s would win the World Series because they will, eventually.

      • AV Apr 19,2017 9:50 am || Up

        yes, yes it were.

        DOES NOBODY KNOW HOW TO ENGLISH ANYMORE?

        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • dmoas Apr 19,2017 10:28 am || Up

        You know, if you keep going in the wrong direction, you’ll eventually end up on the opposite side* of them heading towards them. So in a manner of speaking, they weren’t lying.

        * Requires belief that the world is spherical which most of his supporters probably don’t.

  24. Glorious Mundy Apr 18,2017 12:29 pm

    Fun look at who attended that famous dinner in Moscow with Mike, Jill, and Vladimir, including:

    Viktor Vekselberg, whose billions are in oil and aluminum and who is a business partner of Trump’s Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross and the owner of the world’s largest collection of Faberge eggs.

    and

    Tina Kandelaki, a socialite and award-winning TV host who’s appeared on the covers of the Russian versions of Playboy, InStyle, and Maxim — and ran an international marketing operation for the AK-47, calling it an instrument of peace.

    • andeux Apr 18,2017 12:39 pm || Up

      TINSTAAFK
    • AV Apr 18,2017 1:52 pm || Up

      and gorby!

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  25. Glorious Mundy Apr 18,2017 1:19 pm

    SergiLOL Ramos

    • MikeV Apr 18,2017 1:21 pm || Up

      I’m mildly annoyed that the LCFC/Atletico game isn’t simulcast. Pushing that to FS2 was dumb. Both these games are amazing.

      And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

      Thanks, and go As.

      • Glorious Mundy Apr 18,2017 1:24 pm || Up

        Does anyone actually get FS2? Comcast doesn’t carry it, and YouTube.tv doesn’t carry it in SF at least.

        • MikeV Apr 18,2017 1:25 pm || Up

          I thought youtube tv was going to have it? Weird.

          And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

          Thanks, and go As.

          • Glorious Mundy Apr 18,2017 1:26 pm || Up

            It was on their promotional material, but when I typed in my zip code it was missing from the channel list.

      • Glorious Mundy Apr 18,2017 1:26 pm || Up

        Ref just ruined this game.

        • Glorious Mundy Apr 18,2017 1:56 pm || Up

          And again.

          • MikeV Apr 18,2017 2:05 pm || Up

            UEFALona.

            oh, wait.

            And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

            Thanks, and go As.

  26. lenscrafters Apr 18,2017 2:13 pm

    Badler update: MLB likely to clear him to sign before 6/15. This means that teams that have already exceeded their bonus pools for ’16-’17, like the A’s who can’t spend more than 300K the next two years, are the most likely to sign him as they can’t incur additional penalties.

  27. Future Ed Apr 18,2017 6:09 pm

    I am excited, tonight is the first of 2 consecutive no hitters!

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • Soaker Apr 18,2017 6:11 pm || Up

      Are you suggesting they will get a hit off Paxton on Thursday?!?!

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
      • Future Ed Apr 18,2017 6:33 pm || Up

        NO! I was suggesting that I didn’t know today was tuesday even thought I took out the trash already

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
        • andeux Apr 18,2017 7:12 pm || Up

          Triggs vs. Darvish tonight seems like a mismatch.
          8-0 A’s?

          TINSTAAFK
    • Glorious Mundy Apr 18,2017 7:12 pm || Up

      Triggs and who?

  28. FreeSeatUpgrade Apr 18,2017 7:04 pm

    OK Sharks, get your shit together and score some goals tonight.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Apr 18,2017 7:12 pm || Up

      Wow, awesome!

      OK Mega Millions balls, get your shit together too.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • Glorious Mundy Apr 18,2017 7:13 pm || Up

      Off to a good start

    • FreeSeatUpgrade Apr 18,2017 7:22 pm || Up

      It seems like the A’s Gameday operator just stops trylng for minutes at a time.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • Glorious Mundy Apr 18,2017 8:42 pm || Up

      TELL THE A’S TO DO SOMETHING GOOD

      • FreeSeatUpgrade Apr 18,2017 8:47 pm || Up

        I save it for high leverage situations. So maybe 2019.

        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  29. Glorious Mundy Apr 18,2017 7:46 pm

    I like Maxwell.

  30. doctorK Apr 18,2017 7:48 pm

    FK you, Rosie

  31. Future Ed Apr 18,2017 7:55 pm

    i am not believing this till the runnoff is over, but, damn

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • Glorious Mundy Apr 18,2017 8:00 pm || Up

      It’ll be a runoff, but he has a chance to win it. Which is saying something in Newt Gingrich and Tom Price’s district.

      • MikeV Apr 18,2017 8:16 pm || Up

        And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

        Thanks, and go As.

        • Glorious Mundy Apr 18,2017 8:26 pm || Up

          I believe the remaining vote to count is in the part farthest from Atlanta, where he will probably lose a couple of points.

          • MikeV Apr 18,2017 8:27 pm || Up

            I mean… cmon.

            And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

            Thanks, and go As.

            • Glorious Mundy Apr 18,2017 8:29 pm || Up

              Have they tried unplugging the election and plugging it back in.

            • Glorious Mundy Apr 18,2017 8:42 pm || Up

              LOL

              • doctorK Apr 18,2017 8:48 pm || Up

                “Fulton” must be the Georgia equivalent of “Broward”.

              • MikeV Apr 18,2017 8:51 pm || Up

                Yeah so this shit happens WAY too often to be incompetence.

                And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

                Thanks, and go As.

                • Future Ed Apr 18,2017 9:08 pm || Up

                  I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • Future Ed Apr 18,2017 9:12 pm || Up

      yup

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
      • MikeV Apr 18,2017 9:19 pm || Up

        Supposedly he was at 50.3% before that memory card “error” and then when they found that, magically he was at 48%

        And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

        Thanks, and go As.

  32. FreeSeatUpgrade Apr 18,2017 8:15 pm

    Pavelski, Couture, and now Marleau, the big names showing up tonight.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • MikeV Apr 18,2017 8:24 pm || Up

      is Owen Nolan still good? what about Cheechoo?

      And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

      Thanks, and go As.

      • Glorious Mundy Apr 18,2017 8:24 pm || Up

        Arturs Irbe standing on his head.

        • FreeSeatUpgrade Apr 18,2017 8:31 pm || Up

          I’ve been a huge Mike Ricci fan since an opponent described him as a hair farmer.

          "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  33. doctorK Apr 18,2017 8:28 pm

    Catch the FKing baseball

  34. andeux Apr 18,2017 8:31 pm

    Also maybe don’t let runners steal at will.

    TINSTAAFK
  35. lenscrafters Apr 18,2017 8:33 pm

    They can talk about Chapman and Barreto all they want, but the sad thing is this roster needs about 6 or so Chapmans and Barretos.

    • FreeSeatUpgrade Apr 18,2017 8:35 pm || Up

      But how would they do against 9 Hattebergs?

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • Glorious Mundy Apr 18,2017 8:37 pm || Up

      Chapman, Barreto, the Cuban kid we’re going to sign, Otani…..nope still not enough.

  36. Glorious Mundy Apr 18,2017 8:44 pm

    Adam “Chris Carter” Rosales

  37. lenscrafters Apr 18,2017 8:51 pm

    It’s great that no matter how shitty the A’s are, they could always fuck with Yu a bit.

  38. FreeSeatUpgrade Apr 18,2017 8:52 pm

    6-0 after two periods. Worth continuing to watch for the huge brawl which is about to break out. Also the possible Pavelski or Couture hat tricks.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Apr 18,2017 9:43 pm || Up

      No huge brawl, no hat tricks, we’ll just have to settle for a 7-0 shutout win. Back to Edmonton Thurs.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • nevermoor Apr 19,2017 10:20 am || Up

        The old “spend all your goals when you don’t need them to motivate the opponent next time” stratagem.

        "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  39. Future Ed Apr 18,2017 9:04 pm

    bob’s managing is paying off

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
  40. andeux Apr 18,2017 9:04 pm

    Attaboy Ryon, hit ’em where they ain’t.

    TINSTAAFK
  41. mother pucker Apr 18,2017 9:25 pm

    Triggs’ ERA is pretty solid.

  42. doctorK Apr 18,2017 9:48 pm

    Please don’t suck, Jairo.

  43. Glorious Mundy Apr 18,2017 10:00 pm

    Two “how does it feel” questions.

    • FreeSeatUpgrade Apr 18,2017 10:09 pm || Up

      In fairness, Rosie may be the perfect “how does it feel” interviewee.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  44. Future Ed Apr 18,2017 10:32 pm
    I have $5. No I don\'t.
  45. andeux Apr 19,2017 9:47 am

    Well played Soaker.

    TINSTAAFK
    • Soaker Apr 19,2017 10:21 am || Up

      The good news is, I can pat myself on the back for having predicted Bob’s “least-bad” lineup.

      The bad news, clearly, is that lineup.

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
    • MikeV Apr 19,2017 10:58 am || Up

      Plouffe. DH.

      lol.

      And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

      Thanks, and go As.

      • Soaker Apr 19,2017 11:49 am || Up

        Given the decision to sit Jed!, which is something they should do regularly in an attempt to preserve his July trade value, I don’t see a better option.

        I might go for 3-4-5 being Khris, Healy, Plouffe for the sole purpose of getting Khris to the plate in the first inning, but it’s an argument over arrangement of the deck chairs.

        What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
  46. Glorious Mundy Apr 19,2017 11:00 am

    The Marte suspension must have caught the Pirates off guard if they are reduced to playing John Jaso in right field.

  47. Glorious Mundy Apr 19,2017 12:28 pm

  48. Glorious Mundy Apr 19,2017 12:52 pm

    The run scored in the end, but that Rosales bunt was stupid.

  49. andeux Apr 19,2017 12:56 pm

    And/or batting Plff third is stupid

    TINSTAAFK
    • Glorious Mundy Apr 19,2017 1:01 pm || Up

      Walking Khris Davis doesn’t look like a great decision in retrospect either.

      • andeux Apr 19,2017 1:14 pm || Up

        It’s pick your poison with this murderers row

        TINSTAAFK
  50. Soaker Apr 19,2017 1:05 pm

    Revenge of the Deck Chairs, even with the second-best offensive player on the team laying down a sac bunt.

    What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
  51. Glorious Mundy Apr 19,2017 1:16 pm

    Korach trying to call the game and relate baseball facts while Fosse rambles about pastries.

    • Englishmajor Apr 19,2017 2:08 pm || Up

      I would like to have Fosse on an optional second digital channel.

      • FreeSeatUpgrade Apr 19,2017 2:55 pm || Up

        The SAP channel indeed.

        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  52. Glorious Mundy Apr 19,2017 1:42 pm

    I listened to Vince and Ray’s explanation of the events leading to the Bannister ejection and I still have no idea what happened.

    • Soaker Apr 19,2017 1:45 pm || Up

      Heh, I moved in from radio on the deck to the TV, both because of clouds/wind and because of pastry talk.

      The 3B umpire, who was much closer to the play, pointed fair, but the home plate umpire ruled that the ball went foul before it reached the base, so that makes it the plate umpire’s call. It looked fair but no conclusive view, and not subject to review.

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
      • doctorK Apr 19,2017 1:52 pm || Up

        Pretty stupid to get run on a mundane call like that in the 3rd inning. Bannister must’ve wanted to sample the food trucks (not knowing the plaza is closed today).

  53. FreeSeatUpgrade Apr 19,2017 1:48 pm

    I find myself wondering why I am sitting at my desk instead of at the ballpark, as with every home weekday afternoon game ever.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • doctorK Apr 19,2017 1:53 pm || Up

      Mrs doctorK is taking some of her students to a day game next month. Maybe I’ll play hooky that day.

    • Soaker Apr 19,2017 2:00 pm || Up

      The older kid is leafing through “America’s Top Private Colleges” while Nurse Upgrade reads “10 Great but Very Expensive Towns for your Retirement Villa”?

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
      • FreeSeatUpgrade Apr 19,2017 2:59 pm || Up

        Heh, part 1 is frighteningly close to true, I need to figure out how to slightly mess up her 4.0. Part 2 not an issue per se, but our taste in vacation spots has been skewing costly of late.

        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
        • Soaker Apr 19,2017 8:15 pm || Up

          I used to be perfectly happy staying at Joe’s Motel on the nights when I wasn’t car-camping for free off some desolate logging road. Travel is now my biggest budget category at about 20% of annual spending. Living in a snowy climate, the February trip to Hawaii (or Aruba, Costa Rica, St. Maarten, various places have been contemplated) has become the MOAB in the budget.

          What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
  54. Soaker Apr 19,2017 2:27 pm

    You’re not long for the big leagues if you walk Trevor Plouffe with Khris Davis on deck.

    What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
  55. AV Apr 19,2017 2:43 pm

    JFC, assange is such a total pill.

    *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • Glorious Mundy Apr 19,2017 2:52 pm || Up

      Ecuador hasn’t kicked his ass out yet?

  56. doctorK Apr 19,2017 3:05 pm

    From the Gameday feed, I gather the Rangers are going to reward Mr Hauschild for his contribution today by offering him back to the Astros.

    • doctorK Apr 24,2017 11:12 am || Up
  57. Glorious Mundy Apr 19,2017 3:09 pm

    I see “tell Ray some number with a decimal point from Statcast and hope he says something dumb” will be a staple of blowout afternoon/Mulder games.

    • dmoas Apr 19,2017 3:23 pm || Up

      It’s really surprising to me just how much worse both he & Glen have gotten each year. I haven’t paid much attention to baseball the last couple of seasons, but my god when I do it’s intolerable. Glen gets better without Ray, but he still talks with an authority that I don’t feel he’s earned. And is extremely repetitive.

    • Soaker Apr 19,2017 3:29 pm || Up

      Kaval needs to make a “fan-friendly” decision here, and I realize it may be less popular with part of the fan base than some of his other decisions.

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
      • dmoas Apr 19,2017 3:30 pm || Up

        Set him up in the crowd eating shit and chattering with fans one-on-one. Make a “Sit-With-Ray” in some part of the park contest that people “win” for each game.

        • Glorious Mundy Apr 19,2017 3:33 pm || Up

          Give him a concession stand a la Orlando Cepeda.

        • Soaker Apr 19,2017 3:41 pm || Up

          Something like that, and he can keep doing his pre-game show which is safely ignored.

          Mulder is doing 35 games and the fact that Dallas Braden is available to do some pre and post while keeping his ESPN gig should raise an eyebrow or two. I do not think it’s necessary to have a single primary television analyst; quite a few teams threw out that model a while back. If there are three or four guys who don’t want a full-time job but would like to do 35-40 games each per year, that gives the viewer a nice variety of viewpoints.

          What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
          • dmoas Apr 19,2017 3:49 pm || Up

            I really like Dallas. Mulder needs work but the skill is there. I can imagine there are plenty of former players they can draw from to fill the gaps.

          • andeux Apr 26,2017 8:40 pm || Up

            Braden is available full-time now.

            TINSTAAFK
            • Future Ed Apr 27,2017 8:11 pm || Up

              if i go to a tuesday office hour, i will suggetst vince to tv, braden on the color, ray roving

              I have $5. No I don\'t.
      • Future Ed Apr 20,2017 5:41 am || Up

        I’ll go to an office hours and pitch it with my Vince to TV idea

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
  58. Glorious Mundy Apr 19,2017 3:27 pm

    MIss .500 just texted “u up?”

  59. sslinger Apr 19,2017 5:05 pm

    That was an extremely pleasant day at the ballpark, with PTBNLs front row seats. Some actually pretty nice defensive plays (Hahn helped his cause a couple times and Rosie with some nice work) and good hitting. I did not expect to see Pinder hit the ball that hard – the double to center may have been harder hit than the homer, totally fooled Gomez who started in on the ball before realizing it was really driven.

    • ptbnl Apr 19,2017 6:45 pm || Up

      Meanwhile here in Chile they tried to conduct a census in a single day, which meant everyone being instructed to stay home all day and all businesses being shut.

      If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
      • Glorious Mundy Apr 19,2017 8:29 pm || Up

        They make everyone hold still while they count the whole country? That’s utterly bonkers.

        • Future Ed Apr 20,2017 5:42 am || Up

          what’s the big deal? thatis what “count time” is at every prison and jail

          I have $5. No I don\'t.
        • ptbnl Apr 20,2017 10:32 am || Up

          Yup – and that’s why it failed in 2012.

          The do commit to coming sometime between 9am and 6pm :-)

          If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
  60. colin Apr 19,2017 7:17 pm

    Kyle Hendricks, who was a borderline Cy Young candidate last year and who averages only 2.05 BB/9 for his career, walked Tommy Milone on 4 pitches

  61. Soaker Apr 19,2017 7:39 pm

    Schlong has a double, a triple and a home run but probably won’t bat again (he also struck out). The double and triple should have been an out and a single, but Jefry Marte is playing LF for the Angels and he’s atrocious.

    What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
  62. Glorious Mundy Apr 19,2017 8:32 pm

    Second place!

  63. Soaker Apr 19,2017 8:51 pm

    So apparently for Valdez to make this start it’s Maxwell–>Nashville and Semien–>60-day DL. But I just don’t see how Alcantara survives Gray, Graveman, Axford and Bassitt returning to the MLB roster and I would take a chance on a DFA now before other teams lose more pitchers to injury.

    What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
  64. MikeV Apr 19,2017 11:18 pm

    And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

    Thanks, and go As.

  65. AV Apr 20,2017 7:26 am

    decriminalize it! and solve the numerical mystery behind it.

    *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  66. andeux Apr 20,2017 10:01 am

    TINSTAAFK
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Apr 20,2017 12:29 pm || Up

      Made even more awesome for how lovingly worn that card is.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  67. Glorious Mundy Apr 20,2017 11:08 am

    This reporter’s live tweets from the Alex Jones (of InfoWars) custody trial are delightfully insane.

  68. AV Apr 20,2017 11:41 am

    jeebus, $25 million for a foxit?

    *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • Glorious Mundy Apr 20,2017 11:51 am || Up

      Yeah, but the culture at Fox has totally changed.

  69. FreeSeatUpgrade Apr 20,2017 3:04 pm

    Craig Hodges on being blackballed from pro sports for his political views.

    https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2017/apr/20/craig-hodges-michael-jordan-nba-chicago-bulls

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  70. Glorious Mundy Apr 20,2017 4:36 pm
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Apr 20,2017 5:22 pm || Up

      John Lackey, who still looks like someone the sheriff throws out of town three scenes before the real bad guy is even introduced.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • doctorK Apr 20,2017 5:36 pm || Up

      You forgot to mention that Grant is a talent-less hack.

  71. Glorious Mundy Apr 20,2017 4:39 pm

    It remains amazing to me that the penalty for fighting in the NHL is just 5 minutes for both guys.

    • FreeSeatUpgrade Apr 20,2017 5:22 pm || Up

      Well, you can also get a Game Misconduct ejection on top of the 5. But “Game Misconduct For Fighting” would be a crappy band name.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  72. FreeSeatUpgrade Apr 21,2017 8:49 am

    OK, which of our many detractors is this guy?

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • AV Apr 21,2017 9:48 am || Up

      sir, don’t make us have to put our iced teas down for a 5150.

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • nevermoor Apr 21,2017 10:21 am || Up

      Misspelled “Freedumb”!

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • Future Ed Apr 21,2017 6:04 pm || Up

      berekeley bd sheilds need a redesign. they look like security guards

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
  73. Future Ed Apr 21,2017 6:17 pm

    I don’t know who this kid is but….

    I have $5. No I don\'t.

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