Regarding the Pain of Swag ← FREE KRAUT!

Regarding the Pain of Swag 98

Sontag aside, I’d like a couple things from you all.

First, please let me know when you receive your package, and pay no attention to the accompanying unidentified white powder.  There will be time for the police to identify that later.

Second, please post pictures of how you apply said swag.

I’m thinking of doing another round–this time with refrigerator magnets.  Does that idea appeal to anyone?  And has anyone come up with different ideas?  The “Black Shoes are for Losers” was by far the biggest “seller” this last round, aside from the FK symbol, of which I gave everyone some.  Also, if there were ones from the last round that you have since thought, “Damn, I can’t live without that…”, email me and I’ll rectify the situation.

I’m glad you guys are receiving it so quickly (it really speaks well of the USPS that from my shop picked up on Tuesday to CA on Thursday, it’s in your hands) and seem to be genuinely excited and appreciative.

All kidding aside, thanks for letting me be kind.  It helps so much more than you’ll ever know.

LB/Russ

98 thoughts on “Regarding the Pain of Swag

  1. nevermoor Feb 19,2010 9:09 am

    I opened comments so people could follow your instructions.

    I did not get mine yesterday, but will let you know when I do. Also, I wholeheartedly support the magnet concept (and, more generally, all things free).

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  2. monkeyball Feb 19,2010 9:19 am

    FK country-code fridge magnet!

    Also, truck flaps.

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  3. green star oakland Feb 19,2010 9:25 am

    My swag – wildly appreciated as it was – included no FK ovals.

    If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
    • green star oakland Feb 19,2010 1:02 pm || Up

      I SAID I DIDN’T GET ANY FKING FK OVALS DAMMIT!

      If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
      • Leopold Bloom Feb 19,2010 3:16 pm || Up

        you didn’t get any little FK logos?

        …how many OTHER logos did you get? I may have been petty.

        • green star oakland Feb 19,2010 3:51 pm || Up

          Half a dozen each of the big and little ones – and damn grateful I was till I found out I was missing something!

          If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
          • Leopold Bloom Feb 19,2010 6:57 pm || Up

            yeah, I was petty.

            • spwc2010 Feb 19,2010 7:05 pm || Up

              Hey gift horse… nice teeth!

              \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
              • dmoas Feb 19,2010 7:20 pm || Up

                Now that you’ve looked it in the mouth, you have to brush his teeth.

            • green star oakland Feb 19,2010 8:09 pm || Up

              You’re so petty, oh so petty, VACANT.

              If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
  4. salb918 Feb 19,2010 9:44 am

    No swag yet, dammit.

  5. andeux Feb 19,2010 9:54 am

    Got mine. Thanks stalker.

    TINSTAAFK
  6. FreeSeatUpgrade Feb 19,2010 10:43 am

    Even as we speak, my truck sits in the Ashby BART parking lot, generating admiration and envy from passersby with the awesomness of its My City Can Beat Up Your City sticker, and the irresistable inscrutability of the FK oval.

    Leo B is a (green and) golden God.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  7. 5Aces Feb 19,2010 12:03 pm

    Will try and get photos soon, but next week the great state of TX will have a laptop in it that is showing off a spiffy new FK oval. And if the corp security goons want to tell my I am defacing company property I will just ask them how they will feel when I stick the new magents on it…

    Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
  8. bbenny Feb 19,2010 1:21 pm

    Damn I need one of those.

    LB, do you have any desire to play fantasy baseball? I am in a ten team league seeking expansion owners. You would enjoy it, I think, if you are into that sort of thing. And you would be a lovely addition.

    In any case. Black ovals? I needs it.

    -A night you wouldn't conjure in your wildest alcoholic dream!
    • Leopold Bloom Feb 25,2010 3:40 pm || Up

      Email me your needs and your address.

  9. doctorK Feb 19,2010 1:48 pm

    Mrs doctorK has informed me that we received our swag in the mail today. Your generosity is much appreciated, Bloomie.

    Edit: Just got a look at your handiwork – very nice.

  10. monkeyball Feb 19,2010 3:10 pm

    The swag has arrived.

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • Leopold Bloom Feb 19,2010 6:57 pm || Up

      yours was just a straight diet of FK. We can amend that if need be.

  11. salb918 Feb 19,2010 3:25 pm

    This is ridiculous. I feel like a little Jewish boy on Christmas, watching everybody else open their gifts.

    • mikeA Feb 19,2010 3:26 pm || Up

      Won’t be Tuesday at the earliest for me.

      • monkeyball Feb 19,2010 3:35 pm || Up
        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • monkeyball Feb 19,2010 3:36 pm || Up

      8-year-olds, Dude.

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • JediLeroy Feb 19,2010 3:41 pm || Up

      Whatever.

      I live in the future, and I still haven’t gotten mine.

      az di bobe volt gehat beytsim volt zi geven mayn zeyde
      • Future Ed Feb 19,2010 7:09 pm || Up

        You live in Japan, no? I have a friend that lives in HK and others in Australia. Here’s my question: When do I wish them Happy birthday? When its their birthday for me or when its their birthday for them?

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
        • dmoas Feb 19,2010 7:21 pm || Up

          When it’s for them.

          • JediLeroy Feb 19,2010 8:18 pm || Up

            Yeah, what he said.

            az di bobe volt gehat beytsim volt zi geven mayn zeyde
            • Future Ed Feb 19,2010 10:18 pm || Up

              But that means I will have to do more work. Maybe I should just stop being friends with people across the dateline.

              I have $5. No I don\'t.
  12. Poppy Feb 19,2010 4:08 pm

    Okay, I guess I’ll drag my fat ass off the couch on my only half-day off, and check the mailbox…

    There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
    • Poppy Feb 19,2010 5:11 pm || Up

      Whew. That was a lot of stairs. I return from my arduous, snowy journey to and from the mailbox to report that I have swag! Glorious swag!

      (And that thing I asked you to do that resulted in you calling me a big pain in the ass… no, not that thing… that one, either… the other thing, you know the one… THANKS!)

      Magnets appeal to me, too :)

      There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
  13. monkeyball Feb 19,2010 4:57 pm

    Not like I’m demanding or ungrateful or anything … but we need bumper stickers: REAL MEN EAT KRAUT

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • nevermoor Feb 19,2010 5:16 pm || Up

      In former soviet union FSU, Kraut eats real men.

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
      • monkeyball Feb 19,2010 5:22 pm || Up

        LOL

        (and fixed)

        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
      • salb918 Feb 19,2010 6:17 pm || Up

        In former German Democratic Republic, krauts eat realpolitik.

        • spwc2010 Feb 20,2010 11:18 am || Up

          In former German Democratic Republic, our whole economy floats on selling our citizens to West Germany for badly needed food money.

          \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
          • Leopold Bloom Feb 20,2010 12:31 pm || Up

            why not skip the middleman and eat your citizens?

  14. mikeA Feb 19,2010 5:22 pm

    Anyone keep reading the word “Palin” in the title?

    • monkeyball Feb 19,2010 5:25 pm || Up

      Yes.

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • monkeyball Feb 19,2010 5:25 pm || Up

      Was on the verge of asking the same question all day long.

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
      • mikeA Feb 19,2010 5:35 pm || Up

        The Palin of swag:

        • mikeA Feb 19,2010 5:35 pm || Up

          I wish I read the thread about how to edit image size…

        • monkeyball Feb 19,2010 5:50 pm || Up

          Isn’t “th’ palin’ o’ th’ swag” some obscure Irish holiday tradition?

          you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
        • salb918 Feb 19,2010 6:16 pm || Up

          I hear FSU rocks this tie.

          • JediLeroy Feb 19,2010 8:20 pm || Up

            In FSU, this tie rocks… FSU?

            az di bobe volt gehat beytsim volt zi geven mayn zeyde
          • FreeSeatUpgrade Feb 19,2010 8:34 pm || Up

            Usually once a year, on opening day. And I have, incredibly, even assembled an outfit with which the tie’s colors fit.

            Still looks pretty hideous, though.

            "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • Poppy Feb 19,2010 5:30 pm || Up

      Pain and Palin are inseparable for me.

      There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
      • spwc2010 Feb 19,2010 7:08 pm || Up

        me too… that’s why I taped a picture of her on the back of my spankin’ paddle!

        \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
  15. salb918 Feb 19,2010 6:18 pm

    This is dumber than the time Mulder was supposed to pitch for the Dutch team.

    • dmoas Feb 19,2010 6:49 pm || Up

      Wasn’t that Haren?

      • andeux Feb 19,2010 7:07 pm || Up

        Mulder was eligible to pitch for the Dutch because he actually had Dutch ancestors in the last 3 generations (or whatever the rules were. Plus he’s from South Holland, IL.). Haren was also listed as eligible, and said he had no idea why. My theory was that it was either because he had been traded for Mulder, or because he had spent some time in Amsterdam coffeehouses.

        TINSTAAFK
        • nevermoor Feb 19,2010 7:14 pm || Up

          Per the linked story, it’s probably because he’s been to Nebraska.

          "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
          • dmoas Feb 19,2010 7:24 pm || Up

            I thought it was because all 5 of the letters in his last name can be found in “Netherlands” making him 100% Dutch. Guess that makes me only 80% Dutch.

            • Future Ed Feb 19,2010 7:28 pm || Up

              I thought it was because he never like picking up anyone’s tab.

              I have $5. No I don\'t.
            • nevermoor Feb 19,2010 8:00 pm || Up

              Crap. I’m more Neverland than Netherland.

              "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
              • dmoas Feb 19,2010 8:48 pm || Up

                So you’re stuck playing for the Pirates? I’m so sorry dude.

    • monkeyball Feb 19,2010 8:37 pm || Up

      Sometimes I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion Georgian pairs skating

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  16. Leopold Bloom Feb 19,2010 7:30 pm

    You guys wanna see how I spent work today?

    Wendy's hood

    • salb918 Feb 19,2010 7:38 pm || Up

      Needs more FK stickers.

      • Leopold Bloom Feb 19,2010 7:44 pm || Up

        the goth monkey I had working was not really into the A’s. She is/was a huge Orioles fan. She’s from Bawlmer.

        It’s strange to me that the goth kids now like Star Wars.

    • dmoas Feb 19,2010 7:45 pm || Up

      Job well done.

    • nevermoor Feb 19,2010 8:01 pm || Up

      Good Luck Wendy?

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
      • salb918 Feb 19,2010 8:19 pm || Up

        It’s a Peter Pan/Star Wars mashup.

        • nevermoor Feb 19,2010 8:42 pm || Up

          Best thing to come out of Peter Pan, if you ask me.

          "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
      • Leopold Bloom Feb 19,2010 8:34 pm || Up

        The whole thing read, “Good Luck, Wendy. You’re our only hope.”

        • Leopold Bloom Feb 19,2010 8:35 pm || Up

          the goth monkey’s name was Wendy. Probably still is, unless she’s changed it in the last five hours.

          • monkeyball Feb 19,2010 8:47 pm || Up

            Have you checked on her air holes recently?

            you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
            • Leopold Bloom Feb 19,2010 8:53 pm || Up

              your thinly veiled attempts to paint me as a stalker have utterly failed, monkey.

              Besides, I have her chained to the radiator, not buried.

          • dmoas Feb 19,2010 8:49 pm || Up

            If she’s Goth, she may have.

    • FreeSeatUpgrade Feb 19,2010 8:38 pm || Up

      That’s neat. Is it the same kind of wrap-around clear sticker material that they use for those full-length bus ads?

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  17. FreeSeatUpgrade Feb 19,2010 8:51 pm

    I love it when Oakland’s positive aspects get attention. For instance, here’s the fabulous Lake Merritt, featured today in a Trib story picked up across the nation. Sure, it’s because an apparently crazy former D-I hoops player stole two womens’ purses and swam naked across the lake, but still…it looks lovely.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • Leopold Bloom Feb 19,2010 8:55 pm || Up

      that is peaceful.

    • mikeA Feb 19,2010 8:57 pm || Up

      He was wearing black trunks or shorts when he jumped into the water but had nothing on when he came out, police said.

      I didn’t know the acidity was that bad. It really is a beautiful area, though. The fact that Oakland is a very beautiful city is not acknowledged often enough.

      • Leopold Bloom Feb 19,2010 8:59 pm || Up

        agreed, Oaklandite.

        Can I conversely say that the vapidity and baretoothed ugliness of Sarasota is hardly ever discussed?

        • Future Ed Feb 19,2010 10:34 pm || Up

          Used to work in an office overlooking that victorian house. Its really nice.

          I have $5. No I don\'t.
  18. nevermoor Feb 19,2010 9:10 pm

    I am officially be-swagged. Enormous props to LB, who both is awesome and has access to awesomely-sticky magnets.

    Since Mrs. N is away, the fridge is already loudly proclaiming that Moneyball does not mean what you think it means and that black shoes are for losers. Also, that FK started at Saags.

    Any unfortunate jokes about fisting have been well and truly appreciated.

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • Leopold Bloom Feb 19,2010 9:11 pm || Up

      (you’re the only one who got magnets, so be quiet about it, you fool!)

      post pics.

      • nevermoor Feb 19,2010 9:16 pm || Up

        (oh, shit. Didn’t realize. Sorry.)

        I will, but the communal camera is in OK/TX taking gigabytes of baby pictures.

        "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
      • monkeyball Feb 20,2010 10:54 am || Up

        No airholes for you — one year!

        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  19. nevermoor Feb 19,2010 9:35 pm

    FF just made a positive contribution to my life. I’m rewatching this.

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  20. doctorK Feb 20,2010 12:13 pm

    Here ya go, LB:

    • Leopold Bloom Feb 20,2010 12:31 pm || Up

      bubbles.

      I knew I should’ve sent all of you instructions!

      If those don’t go down in the sun in a couple days, take a pin or a thumbtack, poke a small hole in them and force the air through the hole–you should be able to use your finger, but if not, use your penis.

      It looks good, though. AND it matches the one I’ve got on my car!

      • doctorK Feb 20,2010 12:35 pm || Up

        Sadly, I am incompetent when it comes to the application of high-tech things like stickers.

        • Leopold Bloom Feb 20,2010 1:00 pm || Up

          It’s actually a little harder when they’re real vinyl and not cheap knockoff wannabe vinyl.

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