Coco Watch, against his (almost) original Team ← FREE KRAUT!

Coco Watch, against his (almost) original Team 212

coco is playing today (98. -32./ 37 remaining)*

Marcus is out but not on paternity

*check my math

212 thoughts on “Coco Watch, against his (almost) original Team

  1. andeux Aug 22,2016 8:10 pm

    The offense misses Butler.

    TINSTAAFK
  2. Future Ed Aug 22,2016 8:33 pm

    the young man from the inferior school is doing ok

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
  3. Future Ed Aug 22,2016 8:37 pm

    coco, that was exciting, thank you for that

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
  4. doctorK Aug 22,2016 8:39 pm

    Why bother with replay if they can’t get an easy one like that right?

    • Future Ed Aug 22,2016 9:48 pm || Up

      just watched the replay on at bat. the Cleveland guys were shocked.

      and I cannot imagine what why the call was upheld. Maybe they though the glove got the elbow?

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
  5. Future Ed Aug 22,2016 8:40 pm

    radio crew was convinced

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
  6. Future Ed Aug 22,2016 8:59 pm

    that was an ok call vince

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
  7. Future Ed Aug 22,2016 9:11 pm

    stupid dodgers

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
  8. Future Ed Aug 22,2016 9:28 pm

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Aug 23,2016 8:05 pm || Up

      Can’t stop the season, why let it stop you.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  9. doctorK Aug 22,2016 9:35 pm

    And Valencia gets punched out by Miller.

  10. andeux Aug 22,2016 9:36 pm

    We wuz robbed.

    TINSTAAFK
  11. Glorious Mundy Aug 23,2016 11:19 am

    Valencia doesn’t sound like he wants to be buddies with Butler:

    When asked about their relationship, he responded, “He’s just my teammate. I have respect for him. I hope he has respect for me. That’s it.”

    And quite the profile in courage by management:

    Forst said Melvin will dictate playing time for Butler and Valencia moving forward. Valencia was not in the lineup for Monday’s opener with the Indians but was expected to play Tuesday.

    “I just didn’t feel like today would be the right day,” Melvin said. “He had to listen to a conversation today about some discipline.”

    • Future Ed Aug 23,2016 11:29 am || Up

      did fosse say anything about clubhouse fights last night?

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
      • Glorious Mundy Aug 23,2016 11:36 am || Up

        If he did, I missed it. But I have developed a pretty good internal filter for tuning him out.

        • FreeSeatUpgrade Aug 23,2016 12:25 pm || Up

          Papa tried a couple times to get Ray to rehash some Swinging A’s brawls, but Ray didn’t want to do anything now than to speak in generalities.

          "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
          • Future Ed Aug 23,2016 12:35 pm || Up

            “and then we won the world series”

            I have $5. No I don\'t.
  12. Glorious Mundy Aug 23,2016 11:36 am

    Great moments in phrasing.

  13. Glorious Mundy Aug 23,2016 12:23 pm

    Cmon people. Fire some legit questions at my man.

    • Future Ed Aug 23,2016 12:38 pm || Up

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
  14. FreeSeatUpgrade Aug 23,2016 12:26 pm

    @GM: you might even say that those voters are in their sights!

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • Glorious Mundy Aug 23,2016 12:31 pm || Up

      You might even say we just ate Uter, and he’s in our stomachs right now!

  15. Glorious Mundy Aug 23,2016 1:06 pm

    Nah, I’m good, thanks.

  16. Glorious Mundy Aug 23,2016 1:08 pm
    • Soaker Aug 23,2016 5:19 pm || Up

      While I was traveling this week I read Krakauer’s Missoula: Rape and the Justice System in a College Town which obviously addresses this issue. It’s definitely not one of his best as I felt he approached the subject with a specific agenda, which led me to believe I wasn’t getting a balanced view of the topic. Ed definitely would not care for some of his characterizations of defense attorneys. I liked Under the Banner of Heaven when I read that some years ago but in light of this I’m considering re-reading that one to see if I find the same sort of agenda.

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
      • Glorious Mundy Aug 23,2016 5:22 pm || Up

        He’s a fantastic writer. But I never picked up Under the Banner myself because I thought it might be too much of a polemic.

        • Soaker Aug 23,2016 5:28 pm || Up

          Into the Wild and Into Thin Air are a couple of my favorites. The Pat Tillman book, I thought he didn’t have enough substance to work with. In Missoula I found some of his passages cringeworthily snotty.

          What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
          • ptbnl Aug 23,2016 6:12 pm || Up

            Into Thin Air has some major factual errors that lay a lot of blame at the wrong door.

            If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
            • andeux Aug 23,2016 6:35 pm || Up

              I thought that was not really settled – there were some rebuttals and counter-rebuttals published. Same is true of his other books too, especially Under the Banner of Heaven. On balance, I have found him to be more convincing than his critics.

              TINSTAAFK
              • ptbnl Aug 23,2016 7:10 pm || Up

                My impression was that the weight of evidence and opinion was behind Boukreev.

                If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
      • Future Ed Aug 23,2016 7:46 pm || Up

        I have lots of problems rape and its relashipnship to the criminal justice system.

        rape is bad. Rape laws are bad and add to the under reporting. Same with DV and DV laws

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
  17. Glorious Mundy Aug 23,2016 1:21 pm

    Interesting discussion of historical polling variability and the “electoral strike zone” here from Sam Wang.

    • Future Ed Aug 23,2016 7:51 pm || Up

      so focused on senate/house

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
  18. Glorious Mundy Aug 23,2016 3:34 pm

    At this rate he may even pitch in a game for whatever team signs him in 2018.

    • Future Ed Aug 23,2016 7:51 pm || Up

      its like getting an ace for the mid term primaries!

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
  19. Glorious Mundy Aug 23,2016 5:11 pm

    lmao good luck buddy

    • colin Aug 23,2016 6:42 pm || Up

      Before his birther crusade, he was a non-political figure. “Won’t be easy…” is a pretty big understatement.

      • Glorious Mundy Aug 23,2016 6:48 pm || Up

        Not to mention the dubious nature of “private Trump organization research” and the racist assumption “black people admire ostentatiously tacky rich people” underlying the whole thing.

        • batgirl Aug 24,2016 8:12 am || Up

          I can’t get over the ridiculous interior decorating of his homes. It almost seems like what a set designer would create to spoof a rich person’s house.

          • AV Aug 24,2016 8:51 am || Up

            it’s downright cartoonish.

            *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
          • ptbnl Aug 24,2016 8:53 am || Up

            Down to the serial trophy wives.

            His whole life seems to be a caricature.

            If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
          • MikeV Aug 24,2016 9:07 am || Up

            Where is the petite lap giraffe?

            And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

            Thanks, and go As.

            • ptbnl Aug 24,2016 9:09 am || Up

              Standing next to him.

              If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
            • batgirl Aug 24,2016 10:43 am || Up

              Eric momentarily thought he was in the veldt and shot it.

          • Glorious Mundy Aug 24,2016 9:34 am || Up

            The toy limos…

            • dmoas Aug 24,2016 9:57 am || Up

              Seriously, how the fuck can you be a kid in his home? It’s so trashy opulent. The very definition of ostentatious.

              • Glorious Mundy Aug 24,2016 10:47 am || Up

                You just lie back and stare at the ceiling frescoes until you are old enough to dip into your trust fund.

  20. Glorious Mundy Aug 23,2016 5:41 pm

    Valencia is back in the lineup tonight. Sorry Arismendy.

  21. Glorious Mundy Aug 23,2016 6:18 pm

  22. Glorious Mundy Aug 23,2016 6:57 pm

    I for one had heard of The Tragically Hip, but I had no goddamn idea they were such a big deal in Canada. It’s almost like a different country.

    • Future Ed Aug 23,2016 7:58 pm || Up

      they have the juno awards which is a really big deal in a way it would not be in here. good stuff too, even one (at least) of my friends have been nominated.

      Almost no canadian bands can get anywhere in the states.

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
      • Glorious Mundy Aug 23,2016 8:09 pm || Up

        Plenty of recent indie sensations here out of Canada. Arcade Fire, The New Pornographers, the Japandroids. Classic Rock-wise you’ve got the Guess Who, Rush and the Band. Neil Young had to move I guess.

        I think the problem may be that the Hip aren’t very good. Although that song “Courage” always makes me feel feelings because of “The Sweet Hereafter.”

        • Future Ed Aug 23,2016 8:18 pm || Up

          dude, bryan adams!

          I have $5. No I don\'t.
          • Glorious Mundy Aug 23,2016 8:36 pm || Up

            Yes he is very Canadian.

          • AV Aug 24,2016 8:59 am || Up

            um… BTO? canada’s answer to ELP? their big hit was TCB?

            *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
          • AV Aug 24,2016 8:59 am || Up

            nickelback!!

            *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
            • Glorious Mundy Aug 24,2016 9:39 am || Up

              Loverboy!!!

              • andeux Aug 24,2016 6:32 pm || Up

                Triumph!
                Platinum Blonde!
                Anvil!

                Wow, I know some shitty Canadian bands.

                TINSTAAFK
                • Soaker Aug 24,2016 6:57 pm || Up

                  I can handle a little bit of Barenaked Ladies. But, when I had an off-day between Milwaukee and Cincinnati and the Ladies’ show in Chicago was the most interesting thing musically (a lot of the bands I might have been interested in were at Bonnaroo that weekend), I detoured to Davenport, IA to watch the Beloit Snappers in action.

                  What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
                • 5Aces Aug 25,2016 12:39 pm || Up

                  Saw part of the BNLs show here at the beginning of the month. My friends and I were just dumbfounded trying to understand 1) how they were headlining a tour and 2) why people were so excited. We ended up staying because there was a Howard Jones sort of encore during their set and left once that was done.

                  Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
          • 5Aces Aug 24,2016 3:52 pm || Up

            Snow!

            Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
            • doctorK Aug 24,2016 4:04 pm || Up

              He knows nothing.

              • 5Aces Aug 25,2016 12:40 pm || Up

                You know say Daddy Snow me, I’m gonna blame.

                Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
        • Future Ed Aug 23,2016 8:20 pm || Up

          I guess I mean bands that are realitively big in canada, like Pup

          I have $5. No I don\'t.
          • Glorious Mundy Aug 23,2016 8:21 pm || Up

            You made “Pup” up. That’s not a real band.

            • Future Ed Aug 23,2016 8:24 pm || Up

              not for the feint of heart

              ” frameborder=”0″ allowfullscreen>

              I have $5. No I don\'t.
            • Future Ed Aug 23,2016 8:28 pm || Up

              or fucked up

              ” frameborder=”0″ allowfullscreen>

              I have $5. No I don\'t.
              • colin Aug 24,2016 4:40 am || Up

                I love me some Fucked Up. They even played my old radio station!

                ” frameborder=”0″ allowfullscreen>

      • AV Aug 24,2016 9:02 am || Up

        Almost no canadian bands can get anywhere in the states.

        isn’t it ironic?

        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • Glorious Mundy Aug 24,2016 7:08 pm || Up

      Speaking of creeping Canadian culture…how long before Oakland gets one of these places?

    • AV Sep 4,2016 12:55 pm || Up
      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  23. Soaker Aug 23,2016 7:10 pm

    The A’s need to go 15-22 to finish at my prediction of 68-94, same as last year. I looked back to the night when Reddick got hurt, which I think is when they fell into the swirling vortex (granted Gray had some crappy starts before then; Hill still had two more starts before heading to the DL). They are 34-50 starting on the night of Reddick’s injury which is a .4048 pace. 15-22 would be a .4054 pace the rest of the way. If you’re looking for consistency, Vince, that would be it. I guess if anything, given where the starting pitching is now I might bump it up to about 96 losses. I don’t think they can get to 100 losses (9-28).

    What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
  24. ptbnl Aug 23,2016 7:13 pm

    Checking the details of Coco’s vesting option I found that:

    i) he’s not the first MLB player called Coco.

    ii) Sabathia’s $25M option vests if he does not end season on DL with shoulder injury or miss 45+ games due to shoulder injury, so the Yankees are most likely screwed – huzzah!

    If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
  25. Glorious Mundy Aug 23,2016 7:19 pm

    Silly power

  26. Glorious Mundy Aug 23,2016 7:24 pm

    Salazar is showing a lot of sanitary under those stirrups.

    • Future Ed Aug 23,2016 7:59 pm || Up

      I’m for it

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Aug 23,2016 8:04 pm || Up

      I noticed a Cleveland OF last night had really high stirrups going on, like in Little League when we’d cut the stirrup bottom and stitch on elastic to get even higher.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  27. Future Ed Aug 23,2016 7:59 pm

    FK YEAH! WALK!

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
  28. Future Ed Aug 23,2016 8:02 pm

    can anyone get a visual on valencia’s shoes?

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
  29. Soaker Aug 23,2016 8:06 pm

    Since they seem to be using “Join the Party” as an advertising tagline for 2017 season tickets, I hope they get the rights to use a few bars of “The Golden Road to Unlimited Devotion” in the commercials.

    What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Aug 23,2016 8:20 pm || Up

      Join the Party lends itself to some awesome sign possibilities.

      Render in green not red, swap the hammer and sickle with the A’s logo. Doolittle as Castro, Sonny as Lenin, Dull as Marx, and, I dunno, Eric Sogard as Mao. Stalin would be Lew Wolff, of course.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  30. Glorious Mundy Aug 23,2016 8:17 pm

    Angry Danny is playing his best ball of the season.

  31. Future Ed Aug 23,2016 8:17 pm

    danny’s got a gun

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
  32. Future Ed Aug 23,2016 8:58 pm

    this gives me the sads.

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Aug 23,2016 9:29 pm || Up

      As an ex-longhair myself I approve.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  33. Future Ed Aug 23,2016 9:01 pm

    serious question? Are the Clevelands any good?

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • MikeV Aug 23,2016 9:51 pm || Up

      They just lost to the A’s 9-1 so probably not

      And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

      Thanks, and go As.

      • Glorious Mundy Aug 24,2016 1:21 pm || Up

        Evidence is mounting that they are bad.

        • doctorK Aug 24,2016 1:27 pm || Up

          Obligatory:

  34. Future Ed Aug 23,2016 9:16 pm

    whats thematta with maddy?

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
  35. Future Ed Aug 23,2016 9:24 pm

    can’t his a 5 run home run Rajai

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
  36. andeux Aug 23,2016 9:47 pm

    Apparently we have a pitcher named Chris Smith.

    TINSTAAFK
    • Future Ed Aug 24,2016 5:46 am || Up

      who?

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
      • andeux Aug 24,2016 9:17 am || Up

        The Oakland Athletics. They are a baseball team.

        TINSTAAFK
        • 5Aces Aug 24,2016 3:54 pm || Up

          They have uniforms and everything!

          Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
    • Glorious Mundy Aug 24,2016 9:35 am || Up

      We had a Chad Smith. Is the store brand version of that?

  37. Soaker Aug 23,2016 9:52 pm

    Enjoy your weekly serving of Victory Cabbage!

    What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Aug 23,2016 10:47 pm || Up

      So far I’m still staving off the scurvy.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • Glorious Mundy Aug 24,2016 3:16 pm || Up

      Double portion. I’m stuffed.

  38. FreeSeatUpgrade Aug 24,2016 7:48 am
    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • Glorious Mundy Aug 24,2016 9:43 am || Up

      He’s too shy shy, “hush-hush” eye to eye

      • colin Aug 24,2016 10:02 am || Up

        My first thought after seeing this comment was “wait, were Kajagoogoo from Canada?”

    • Glorious Mundy Aug 24,2016 9:46 am || Up

      About this…

      For starters, Howard Terminal is a mile from the closest BART station, at 12th Street and Broadway downtown. That’s actually less than the distance from BART’s Embarcadero Station to AT&T Park, but the trek through Oakland’s warehouse district is a lot less attractive — and less safe — than a stroll along San Francisco’s postcard-perfect waterfront.

      I’ll give them less attractive, but is that area particularly dangerous?

      • andeux Aug 24,2016 9:51 am || Up

        Also, the direct route to Warrantless Wiretap Park, along 2nd Street, is still not particularly attractive, and was probably even less so pre-WWP being constructed there.

        TINSTAAFK
        • Glorious Mundy Aug 24,2016 10:02 am || Up

          Also

          With ferry and bus service also limited, many fans would drive.

          That could very easily be changed. There’s a ferry terminal right there, and a fleet of shuttle buses at West Oakland Bart would have people at the park in five minutes.

          • AV Aug 24,2016 1:30 pm || Up

            sure. if you’re coming from SF that could work.

            but if you’re coming from the north bay, a fleet of shuttle buses at 12th street bart would have people at the park in five minutes.

            otoh if you’re coming from the south, a fleet of shuttle buses at lake merritt bart would have people at the park in five minutes.

            but if you’re parked in the uptown area, yeah, you’d definitely be locked into the free shuttle in that scenario.

            i mean, if you’re not taking amtrak itself.

            the options are limited people!

            *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
            • Glorious Mundy Aug 24,2016 1:45 pm || Up

              The story is really aggravating. Saying “Howard Terminal is a mile from the closest BART station, at 12th Street and Broadway downtown” as if that’s a bad thing while leaving out that there are actually *two* BART stations within a mile and cropping the map exactly at the point that leaves West Oakland out…it’s just not an honest presentation.

              • doctorK Aug 24,2016 1:52 pm || Up

                Matier and Ross have a severe SF-slant. It’s too much to expect them to do actual hard work (you know, like looking at a map) on a story about Oakland.

                • dmoas Aug 24,2016 1:59 pm || Up

                  Please, the story is about the Giants. Not the A’s or Oakland. Why would they need to know anything about that other place beyond their pretty city.

              • AV Aug 24,2016 2:31 pm || Up

                *three* though.

                but it’s all slanted. “warehouse district.” i guess you can say that about SoHo too technically… but not really a lot of warehousing going on in JLS anymore. (the produce distributors are still there, but it’s so fucking quaint it might as well be an after-the-game attraction.) and lots of new fancy residence buildings now and arriving.

                i mean, directions to howard could sound something like this: go down broadway, turn left at steph curry’s old apartment, if you have time but don’t want to see if there’s a sale at bed bath and beyotch, maybe catch the early set at yoshi’s…

                the one landmark that’s iffy is OPD right in the middle of that walk. but they’re never there. prolly at some underage sex-worker’s place…

                also, if you hover on howard terminal in google maps, PREDICTIVE PHOTO??

                *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
                • Glorious Mundy Aug 24,2016 2:33 pm || Up

                  !!!

                  Lake Merritt’s more like a mile and a half walk according to google. But I think West Oakland is actually closer than 12th Street.

                • AV Aug 24,2016 8:27 pm || Up

                  yeah, WO is the closest (distances to the three stations are 1.0, 1.1, and 1.4 miles), but not every A’s fan lives in SF…

                  my lake merritt thought was actually about your shuttle idea. that it’d be less disruptive to have the route go to that plaza by the college, than try and go up broadway to 12th.

                  *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
                • Glorious Mundy Aug 24,2016 8:35 pm || Up

                  Not every A’s fan lives in SF. Just the coolest ones.

                  I originally thought of WO both because of proximity and because it would be a much easier shuttle spot than 12th. But yeah, Lake Merritt also.

                • Future Ed Aug 24,2016 8:42 pm || Up

                  right?

                  I have $5. No I don\'t.
                • AV Aug 25,2016 6:43 am || Up

                  it’s probably the fog.

                  related.

                  *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
              • Future Ed Aug 24,2016 6:40 pm || Up

                lake merrit is not really far off either

                I have $5. No I don\'t.
        • doctorK Aug 24,2016 10:34 am || Up

          But, but, Oakland has a bunch of “them” over there.

          • Future Ed Aug 24,2016 6:42 pm || Up

            right, they aren’t in SF anymore

            I have $5. No I don\'t.
        • Soaker Aug 24,2016 11:01 am || Up

          I recall the area on that side of the Skyway being a bleak no-man’s land 20 years ago, and even when the park first opened 21st Amendment was one of the few signs of life down there. It changed very quickly.

          What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
          • dmoas Aug 24,2016 11:32 am || Up

            Regardless of the current safety of it, that’s a pretty minor thing in the greater scheme of things. An unsafe mile can be made safe. The real issues are the site itself and the vehicular entry/exit. I can easily see cars piling into the maze.

      • AV Aug 24,2016 1:36 pm || Up

        no.

        and anybody who thinks it is, hasn’t been there in at least 3 years.

        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • Future Ed Aug 24,2016 6:37 pm || Up

        yeah, fuck those guys. I just walked it, its no different from 3rd or 4th. and much shorter.

        and no more dangerous than 3rd and branan

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • Glorious Mundy Aug 24,2016 1:50 pm || Up

      Cleveland announcer currently talking about this.

    • Future Ed Aug 24,2016 6:39 pm || Up

      is the warrior thing a done deal? I though we could still kill it

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
  39. Glorious Mundy Aug 24,2016 10:40 am
  40. Glorious Mundy Aug 24,2016 11:21 am

    Factcheck: True

  41. Glorious Mundy Aug 24,2016 11:40 am

    • MikeV Aug 24,2016 3:24 pm || Up

      Uh, how do you share full blame?

      And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

      Thanks, and go As.

      • andeux Aug 24,2016 3:25 pm || Up

        100-100

        TINSTAAFK
        • MikeV Aug 24,2016 3:41 pm || Up

          And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

          Thanks, and go As.

  42. Glorious Mundy Aug 24,2016 1:37 pm

    Oh cool.

  43. Glorious Mundy Aug 24,2016 2:06 pm

    We have a new leader in the Worst Ballpark Name standings.

    • dmoas Aug 24,2016 2:19 pm || Up

      I still want the Coli to be renamed the American Standard Stadium. With Mount Davis and the bowl shape, it already looks like a toilet, so let’s fucking OWN that shit.

      • Glorious Mundy Aug 24,2016 2:31 pm || Up

        Not one of those fancy Japanese talking toilets either. A good old american shitter.

        • andeux Aug 24,2016 2:34 pm || Up

          So no fireworks to simulate a bidet when the A’s hit a home run?

          TINSTAAFK
          • dmoas Aug 24,2016 4:25 pm || Up

            When a big shit gets launched out of the ASS, you damn well better believe there would be fireworks!

            • Future Ed Aug 24,2016 6:48 pm || Up

              a giant lighter rises over mount davis and shoots a massive flame

              I have $5. No I don\'t.
        • Future Ed Aug 24,2016 6:48 pm || Up

          isn’t that a budwiser or miller campaign?

          “we don’t worry about “taste” or ‘quality” we brew beer”

          I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • Future Ed Aug 24,2016 6:46 pm || Up

      I mean, quicken loan center? eesh

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
      • Glorious Mundy Aug 24,2016 6:55 pm || Up

        Yeah that’s pretty bad.

        University of Phoenix Stadium annoys me too.

        • Soaker Aug 24,2016 7:35 pm || Up

          For some years the NHL’s Florida Panthers played in the National Car Rental Center.

          A minor league hockey team, the Missouri Mavericks, calls Silverstein Eye Centers Arena its home.

          What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
          • colin Aug 24,2016 7:43 pm || Up

            I was very disappointed to find out that Great American Ballpark in Cincinnati is not a brag — it’s naming rights for Great American Insurance Company.

          • Glorious Mundy Aug 24,2016 7:45 pm || Up

            Can’t forget Smoothie King Arena either.

            • Future Ed Aug 24,2016 7:49 pm || Up

              let us not forget enron and pro player

              I have $5. No I don\'t.
              • 5Aces Aug 25,2016 12:43 pm || Up

                I wont lie, I liked the name Pacific Bell park. Though I thought they should have a bell somewhere.

                Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
  44. Glorious Mundy Aug 24,2016 2:30 pm

    Well that’s a first. Never seen a ball hit that thing.

    • Future Ed Aug 24,2016 6:49 pm || Up

      what it hit?

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
      • Glorious Mundy Aug 24,2016 6:54 pm || Up

        A hidden pole behind the rightfield wall, in front of the steps. It bounced directly off the top of this pole and back into play, making it look until replay like it had come off the top of the fence and stayed in the yard.

  45. Soaker Aug 24,2016 3:38 pm

    Coco with the DNP today, reducing his Magic Number to 5 DNPs with 35 games remaining.

    What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
    • Future Ed Aug 24,2016 6:50 pm || Up

      here is where I am calling bullshit.

      anyone else and he is a defensive replacement.

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
      • MikeV Aug 24,2016 7:20 pm || Up

        Day game after night game, 5-1 win, and he’s not very good on defense. Why would they put him in?

        And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

        Thanks, and go As.

  46. Soaker Aug 24,2016 5:15 pm

    Thinking about putting together the next contender in Oakland with emphasis on the younger players who might contribute, with a month to go I guess we would have to say Graveman has been the most positive story of the season. Some of us were maybe considering giving up on him three months ago, but he looks like he can fit into the middle of a contending rotation. Manaea has also shown well in spite of being rushed, and in the bullpen Dull has slipped some in the second half but has been a pretty big plus overall this year.

    On the position player side it’s harder to find anything positive. Semien has established himself as a major league player though I still tend toward Robin Younting him into the outfield at the first opportunity. Healy shows some promise with the SSS caveat. What else is there? A bunch of journeymen. Khris Davis is Cust without the OBP; he provides some exciting moments for a crappy team but I don’t see him contributing on a contender.

    I have yet to see a good explanation for Gray’s implosion, and Hahn’s disappearance might be the biggest disappointment of all relative to expectations.

    Rich Hill turned out to be a solid investment, and we had to endure zero plate appearances from Fuld and Sogard (though Burns did a nice job of upholding that tradition).

    What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
    • Glorious Mundy Aug 24,2016 6:52 pm || Up

      Not very inspiring in the highs minors either. Matt Chapman’s a little interesting, Barreto should be OK, and Bruce Maxwell could be something, but the rest of the position players have been god awful. I sure hope some of the pitchers pan out or else this franchise is deeply screwed for a good while.

      • Future Ed Aug 24,2016 7:20 pm || Up

        I have an irrational like for Maxwell’s catching. I don’t know if its well founded.

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • Future Ed Aug 24,2016 6:54 pm || Up

      a real positive for me is detaching from irrational attachment to sonny gray.

      a good to great firt half from him and we return the favor on the cubs

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
  47. Future Ed Aug 24,2016 8:19 pm

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
  48. AV Aug 25,2016 6:46 am

    apparently, the first known photo of someone giving the finger was a pre-game portrait of the boston beaneaters and the new york giants.

    yes it was a guy from boston doing it. and although he’s pointing it at the camera, you gotta suspect he meant it for his rivals that day. if for nothing else than, because fuck the giants.

    *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • 5Aces Aug 25,2016 12:47 pm || Up

      Pretty sure that I’ve heard that it is Old Hoss himself.

      Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
      • AV Aug 25,2016 2:57 pm || Up
        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
          • AV Aug 26,2016 8:44 am || Up

            she writes up a nice grill about once a week and sends it in an email to subscribers.

            http://tinyletter.com/cdewey

            *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
        • 5Aces Aug 26,2016 9:12 am || Up

          Shiiittt…I read the first paragraph at least.

          Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
  49. andeux Aug 25,2016 9:30 am

    TINSTAAFK
    • Glorious Mundy Aug 25,2016 9:40 am || Up

      We did not win enough for the Rzepper.

      • FreeSeatUpgrade Aug 25,2016 10:32 am || Up

        Schrocking.

        Eyechart didn’t even distinguish himself enough to get me to learn to spell his name.

        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
        • Soaker Aug 25,2016 12:45 pm || Up

          When you go to the 2016 A’s B-R page and see the photos of the top 12 by WAR, Rzep’s smiling mug is on there. A few who aren’t: Coco ($11M), Butler ($10M), Lowrie ($7.5M) and Axford ($4.5M).

          What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
    • Future Ed Aug 25,2016 10:46 am || Up

      yay?

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
  50. Glorious Mundy Aug 25,2016 11:00 am

    The artist’s renderings here are hilarious. Especially the 60 foot Al Davis memorial inferno.

  51. FreeSeatUpgrade Aug 25,2016 2:57 pm

    87%. A perfectly cromulent score if I do say so myself.

    http://vocabulary.ugent.be/

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • Glorious Mundy Aug 25,2016 3:05 pm || Up

      90%, and no false positives!

      • colin Aug 25,2016 6:06 pm || Up

        74% for me. I was being overly cautious about false positives (still got 3% though). If I knew how the scoring worked, I would have been more aggressive on some of those.

    • Soaker Aug 25,2016 7:40 pm || Up

      I also got an 87, helped along by one of the words I got being “boob”.

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
  52. ptbnl Aug 25,2016 2:58 pm

    LOL Man City

    Group A: Paris Saint-Germain, Arsenal, Basel, Ludogorets
    Group B: Benfica, Napoli, Dynamo Kyiv, Besiktas
    Group C: Barcelona, Manchester City, Borussia Mönchengladbach, Celtic
    Group D: Bayern Munich, Atletico Madrid, PSV Eindhoven, FC Rostov
    Group E: CSKA Moscow, Bayer Leverkusen, Tottenham Hotspur, Monaco
    Group F: Real Madrid, Borussia Dortmund, Sporting Lisbon, Legia Warsaw
    Group G: Leicester, Porto, Club Brugge, FC Copenhagen
    Group H: Juventus, Sevilla, Lyon, Dinamo Zagreb

    If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
    • Glorious Mundy Aug 25,2016 3:06 pm || Up

      LOL Brendan Rodgers.

    • MikeV Aug 25,2016 3:57 pm || Up

      Damn. Leicester actually has a pretty good draw and chance to get out of the group stage. Love it.

      I hope M’Gladbach gets out over City.

      Spurs got a pretty good draw too.

      And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

      Thanks, and go As.

  53. batgirl Aug 25,2016 4:10 pm

    Well Fuck. I think it’s time to say goodbye to my Bronte. Why the hell can’t they live as long as parrots?

    • sslinger Aug 25,2016 4:55 pm || Up

      Boo! Sorry to hear that.

    • ptbnl Aug 25,2016 5:33 pm || Up

      Damn … really sorry.

      If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Aug 25,2016 6:12 pm || Up

      Oh sweetie. Very sorry. You’ve had a lot of great time together.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • batgirl Aug 26,2016 8:53 am || Up

        We have! She just turned 13, so she’s an old gal. I’m trying to look at it that we gave her back to Canine Companions when she was 18 months old, and then when she was released from their service dog program 7 months later, we got a gift of 11 more years with her that we didn’t think we’d have.

        This weekend I’ll love her like crazy, spoil her like crazy, and load her up on all the pain meds we’ve got in the house.

        Cancer can go jump in a lake.

    • MikeV Aug 25,2016 6:47 pm || Up

      :(

      I’m crying now.

      And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

      Thanks, and go As.

    • Future Ed Aug 25,2016 7:40 pm || Up

      so sorry.

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • 5Aces Aug 26,2016 9:43 am || Up

      I’m so sorry. Not a good weekend assignment at all.

      Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
  54. Glorious Mundy Aug 25,2016 6:13 pm

    Weird play in Mets-Cardinals. Yoenis was clearly tagged out on the foot going first to third, but Wainright’s glove got caught between Yo’s spikes and the bag, and it came off when he pulled his hand away after the tag. Called safe on the field, confirmed on replay.

  55. Future Ed Aug 25,2016 7:43 pm

    just confirmed my third trial of the month. starting monday.

    my head hurts

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • MikeV Aug 25,2016 7:55 pm || Up

      man at some point they’ll just say you’re innocent, right?

      And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

      Thanks, and go As.

      • nevermoor Aug 26,2016 2:06 pm || Up

        Not if he hangs the jury…

        "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • Glorious Mundy Aug 25,2016 7:56 pm || Up

      Your clients aren’t in the mood for plea deals?

      • Future Ed Aug 25,2016 9:05 pm || Up

        nope. and I am not in the mood to roll them

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
  56. FreeSeatUpgrade Aug 26,2016 9:18 am

    Hey Fkers,

    Nurse Upgrade and I are having our annual end-of-the-summer picnic party at Tilden Park on Sunday, from 11 am to 4 pm. Grilling hot dogs and eating cupcakes and playing games and such. Friends and family most welcome. It’s at Tilden’s Fern picnic site, not too far from the merry-go-round:

    https://www.google.com/maps/place/Fern+Picnic+Area/@37.9027773,-122.2604156,17z/data=!3m1!4b1!4m5!3m4!1s0x80857bfbde2111ef:0xb56d02623c16f342!8m2!3d37.9027773!4d-122.2582216

    It’s no tailgate party, sure. But at least you won’t be forced to watch the A’s. Hope to see some of you there.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • ptbnl Aug 26,2016 10:27 am || Up

      I’m bringing a keg!

      If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
      • FreeSeatUpgrade Aug 26,2016 11:00 am || Up

        Whoo hoo!

        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • Future Ed Aug 26,2016 1:16 pm || Up

      that sounds delightful, but I am doing other “end of the summer” activities with east bayers (Malcom X elementary represent)

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • sslinger Aug 27,2016 1:26 pm || Up

      We’re in. We’ll bring a side plus stuff for grillage.

      • FreeSeatUpgrade Aug 27,2016 3:30 pm || Up

        Yay!

        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  57. Glorious Mundy Aug 26,2016 3:10 pm
    • Glorious Mundy Aug 26,2016 3:50 pm || Up

      Dude

      Bornstein’s credentials have been called into question, after CNN’s Sanjay Gupta pointed out that the professional gastroenterological association mentioned in the letter has not counted Bornstein as a member for decades. Additionally, Bornstein’s website redirects to something called Annoying Teddy, a teddy bear that sings for three hours at a time.

      • batgirl Aug 26,2016 3:53 pm || Up

        “all the rest of them are either sick or dead.”

      • dmoas Aug 26,2016 4:03 pm || Up

        I bet Donald likes him because he gives out wollipops.

      • AV Aug 26,2016 6:09 pm || Up

        but this is like a week old. i feel like you’re not keeping up with the podcasts.

        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • dmoas Aug 26,2016 3:52 pm || Up

      What a quack.

      • Glorious Mundy Aug 26,2016 4:00 pm || Up

        Cross between Dr. Nick Riviera and the Big Lebowski.

        • dmoas Aug 26,2016 4:15 pm || Up

          Well if it isn’t my old friend Mr. McGreg, with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg!

        • AV Aug 26,2016 6:10 pm || Up

          …and the wristwatch’s connected to my bev’rage.

          uh oh.

          *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  58. Glorious Mundy Aug 26,2016 3:59 pm
    • doctorK Aug 26,2016 5:34 pm || Up

      Performance “artist” – that’s a crime right there.

    • Future Ed Aug 26,2016 6:26 pm || Up

      its called bowling

      I have $5. No I don\'t.

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