Live from San Diego, it’s the David Ortiz Slurpfest! ← FREE KRAUT!

Live from San Diego, it’s the David Ortiz Slurpfest! 72

Pay very close attention or you’ll miss Stephen Vogt’s 15 seconds on camera (it will be on split-screen during the field reporter’s interview with Ortiz after he’s removed from the game). All your favorite FOX comedy and drama stars will be shown in the stands, along with Jared from Subway, appearing live from a shower room this year.

The AL is the home team due to several consecutive All-Star Games in NL parks. Remember, this decides whether the A’s would host a Game 7.

72 thoughts on “Live from San Diego, it’s the David Ortiz Slurpfest!

  1. MikeV Jul 12,2016 5:03 pm

    And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

    Thanks, and go As.

  2. Soaker Jul 12,2016 5:18 pm

    Ah, not a cloud in the sky, the shadows will be crisply defined.

    What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
  3. colin Jul 12,2016 5:28 pm

    I have the tv muted, AFC on the turntable

    • Soaker Jul 12,2016 5:39 pm || Up

      I would have preferred Alvin and the Chipmunks singing Christmas songs to what Buck and Smoltz delivered during Ortiz’ somewhat prolonged AB.

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
    • Future Ed Jul 12,2016 8:07 pm || Up

      way better than joe buck

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
  4. colin Jul 12,2016 5:40 pm

    Gerald wasn’t very quick down the line there.

  5. doctorK Jul 12,2016 5:53 pm

    Johnny CuetLOL

  6. Soaker Jul 12,2016 5:53 pm

    This is the most offense in any West Coast All-Star Game since they started playing these things at night 5 p.m.

    What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
  7. colin Jul 12,2016 6:43 pm

    They keep showing “Kris Bryant is the youngest Cub to hit a HR in the All Star Game since 1936”. Can anyone think of a dumber statistic? There are only a total of 7 Cubbie ASG HR in the bbref records (1933 to 2012). So Bryant is younger than all those dudes except Augie Galan, who was 24 when he hit one off of Schoolboy Rowe (man, the names just aren’t as good these days!)

    • colin Jul 12,2016 6:44 pm || Up

      Also, Pom Pom sighting!

      • Soaker Jul 12,2016 6:47 pm || Up

        It went much better for Pomeranz than I was expecting.

        What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
  8. colin Jul 12,2016 6:47 pm

    Fangraphs currently has the score backwards on their live win probability

  9. aardvark Jul 12,2016 6:51 pm

    The Diamondbacks have ugly uniforms.

    • Future Ed Jul 12,2016 8:08 pm || Up

      not watching but i like the charcoal

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • colin Jul 12,2016 8:12 pm || Up

      Why are NL in grays and AL in whites for a game in San Diego?

      • Soaker Jul 12,2016 8:13 pm || Up

        Consecutive All-Star Games in Cincinnati, San Diego, Miami and Washington from 2015-2018; the AL will also be the “home” team in 2018.

        What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
        • Future Ed Jul 12,2016 8:15 pm || Up

          i can’t see anyway the game could have been held in an AL park in that time

          I have $5. No I don\'t.
          • Soaker Jul 12,2016 8:58 pm || Up

            Build a new ballpark, get an All-Star Game. Comparing the lists, 14 of the last 18 parks to open have been in NL cities (including Houston which opened in 2000 and had the 2004 ASG). 16 of the 18 have hosted an ASG or will by 2018, so they’re catching up. Only New Yankee Stadium and the Phillies’ park have been left out, in the Yankees’ case because they held the game in the old stadium in 2008. So Philadelphia and Atlanta wouldn’t be bad bets for 2019 and 2020.

            What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
            • Future Ed Jul 13,2016 5:02 am || Up

              Oakland will be still playing in the coliseum then, so Dodger stadium and Wrigley in 21 and 22?

              the only question is, does baltimore get one before oakland

              I have $5. No I don\'t.
              • Soaker Jul 13,2016 9:54 am || Up

                There is zero chance the Coliseum (last ASG 1987) will ever get another one, and Tropicana Field will die an All-Star virgin. But, since the backlog of new ballparks has been cleared, Oakland and Tampa Bay would both move right to the top of the list as soon as they open new parks.

                The Phillies had one in 1996, late in the life of The Vet, which is why their new ballpark hasn’t had one, but now that it’s been 20 years they are due. Likewise Turner Field in Atlanta had the 2000 game and with the 20-year waiting period their new place is eligible soon. After that it’s Dodgers (1980), A’s (1987), Cubs (1990) and Blue Jays (1991) before they start cycling back to the parks that opened in the 1990s.

                What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
  10. Soaker Jul 12,2016 7:04 pm

    I get the ceremony with the cards but further interrupting the game to have this woman sing “her hit” is way way over the top.

    What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
  11. Soaker Jul 12,2016 7:16 pm

    I guess (hope?) the plan is to have Vogt catch the 8th and 9th, though he might not get a plate appearance if the AL goes down quickly through the 8th and then doesn’t bat in the 9th.

    What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
    • Soaker Jul 12,2016 7:23 pm || Up

      Assuming the substitutions continue straight-up, we need 3 AL batters to reach base in the 7th and 8th (without a DP, caught stealing or some TOOTBLAN) for Vogt to bat…or we need the NL to score 2 runs. I suppose he could also possibly pinch-hit in the DH spot.

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
      • Soaker Jul 12,2016 7:54 pm || Up

        Hmmm…Vogt to pinch-hit for Wieters in the bottom of the 8th? At least the NL has no LHP remaining.

        What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
        • colin Jul 12,2016 8:18 pm || Up

          Vogt could have struck out just as well against Jansen there.

          • Soaker Jul 12,2016 8:23 pm || Up

            Since it evidently was going to be a token appearance at best for Vogt I’m glad he didn’t bat there. Especially with the catcher substitution rule it should have been 3 innings each for 3 catchers or at least 4, 3, 2.

            What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
  12. Glorious Mundy Jul 12,2016 7:21 pm
    • ptbnl Jul 13,2016 10:53 am || Up

      Such a bizarre choice of “protest” form and content – piss off the conservatives by changing the lyrics to the national anthem, and the liberals by using anti-blacklivesmatter terminology.

      I’m also confused by the group’s claim that it was a “lone wolf” action … didn’t they all sing the revised line?

      If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
      • Soaker Jul 13,2016 8:26 pm || Up

        This is probably forgotten in the US now but obviously it stirred up the hornet’s nest north of the 49th. The guy had a solo for that one line. Probably should have run it by his partners beforehand and it wouldn’t have happened at all…but since it did, the WTF? reaction of the singer next to him is pretty good. The crowd response seemed favorable but maybe that was just the “ooooh, a solo!” response.

        What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
      • doctorK Jul 13,2016 8:42 pm || Up

        Following the Bloom County model – offend everybody.

    • AV Jul 13,2016 11:08 am || Up

      ugh. it’s like you have to explain every. single. time.

      yes, of course it’s the all star game. but right now we’re focusing on the black star game.

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • doctorK Jul 13,2016 8:48 pm || Up

      This is even more annoying than “singer” who destroy the SSB by styling it up and/or stretching it out to a two-minute solo.

  13. aardvark Jul 12,2016 7:39 pm

    Speaking of ugly attire, does the all star game have different rules about shoes? Cause I’m seeing some ugly fucking shoes that I don’t think are standard during the regular season.

    • FreeSeatUpgrade Jul 12,2016 7:45 pm || Up

      Yeah, they have an unlimited garishness policy for ASG shoes.

      Also, those oily gun metal Nationals road “greys” are fucking hideous.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • aardvark Jul 12,2016 8:01 pm || Up

        Also, the bill of Andrew Miller’s cap is hideous. Oh wait, EVERYONE has that ugly ass look.

      • Future Ed Jul 12,2016 8:10 pm || Up

        used to be everyone wore white shoes i think

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
  14. Soaker Jul 12,2016 8:09 pm

    To this point Yost has shut out 3 teams (Rays/Colome, Twins/Nuñez and A’s/Vogt). With Diaz’ plate appearance there every NL team has had a player in the game.

    What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
    • Soaker Jul 12,2016 8:27 pm || Up

      As Joe Buck pointed out, no Mets (Bartolo/Familia) got in the game either. I think I saw Daniel Murphy and absentmindedly checked off the Mets.

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Jul 12,2016 8:29 pm || Up

      Lucky for me my Yost-hate was already near toxicity level, or I’d be enraged.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • colin Jul 13,2016 5:00 am || Up

        Every once in a while I step back and marvel at how quickly the Royals went from lovable losers to complete heels.

  15. ptbnl Jul 13,2016 1:14 pm

    Boris Johnson, Foreign Secretary … you couldn’t make this shit up.

    If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
    • Glorious Mundy Jul 13,2016 1:52 pm || Up
      • ptbnl Jul 13,2016 1:58 pm || Up

        All the nasty little fascist boys under one roof.

        If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
        • Glorious Mundy Jul 13,2016 3:04 pm || Up

          Man, there are reports that Geert Wilders was also planning to attend. Can the Le Pens be far behind?

      • Soaker Jul 13,2016 2:22 pm || Up

        I don’t have much opinion about British politics, but the “Obamacare’s Sinking Safety Net” story on that page looks interesting when I get a chance. My premium increase for 2017 will be another 14.6% on top of the 28.6% increase from last year to this. You taxpayers are funding nearly 80% of that. Obamacare wasn’t intended to control costs and boy has it delivered on that.

        What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
        • colin Jul 13,2016 2:57 pm || Up

          You are in Nevada, right? I think that’s pretty much a worst case scenario for ACA rate increases.

          • Soaker Jul 13,2016 3:14 pm || Up

            My county is classified as “rural” which makes it especially bad as we only have two significant competitors for exchange plans. There used to be a third but it was one of those co-ops which went belly-up last year. For 2017 my premium is 28.8% higher than it would be for the identical plan in Las Vegas.

            What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
            • nevermoor Jul 13,2016 5:20 pm || Up

              Wow.

              Time to implement a public option.

              "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  16. Glorious Mundy Jul 14,2016 4:22 pm

    Sigh. Looks like the Padres got a serious prospect for Pom Pom.

    • colin Jul 14,2016 5:42 pm || Up

      I wish the best for Pom Pom, but I think he’s going to find Fenway is a much tougher park to pitch in than Petco (especially for a lefty).

    • MikeV Jul 15,2016 8:14 am || Up

      we got TWO guys for him.

      And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

      Thanks, and go As.

    • colin Jul 15,2016 8:41 am || Up

      Fangraphs gave me a sad:

      Let’s get this out of the way now: The A’s look really silly. They looked silly even before this — Pomeranz was an All-Star! — but Espinoza is a major return, and quite preferable to Yonder Alonso and Marc Rzepczynski. This is a move I’m sure Oakland regrets. There’s another move I’m sure they regret more.

      I’ll just pretend that I have no idea what that last sentence is referring to.

      • 5Aces Jul 15,2016 8:58 am || Up

        I know what it is referring to. Not having enough Free Kraut at the stands! They must deeply regret that, right?

        Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
      • nevermoor Jul 15,2016 9:11 am || Up

        I can’t remember the last big decision I didn’t regret. Though maybe Semien someday helps with that.

        "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
        • Glorious Mundy Jul 15,2016 10:05 am || Up

          I feel pretty good about my decision to not get season tickets.

          • sslinger Jul 15,2016 10:27 am || Up

            Yes, me too for the second year running.

            That said, I do have a pair for next Tuesday night (Free Parking!) against the Astros that I cannot use. If anyone wants them let me know and we can figure out how I can get them to you.

            • dmoas Jul 15,2016 12:05 pm || Up

              I feel pretty good about not paying any attention to this team for a couple of years.

      • Future Ed Jul 15,2016 6:55 pm || Up

        no. I like the nottingham for davis trade even though davis isn’t in a contention window

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
  17. Glorious Mundy Jul 15,2016 10:17 am

    • Glorious Mundy Jul 15,2016 12:26 pm || Up

      • Soaker Jul 15,2016 2:22 pm || Up

        While Burns clearly deserves it, I’m a little surprised they used his final option now rather than keeping him through 8/31, or at least until we see what happens over the next couple weeks.

        What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
        • andeux Jul 15,2016 2:57 pm || Up

          As bad as Burns has been, it still seems like he’s more useful as a 5th OF (especially given Coco’s fragility) and PR than Butler is as a righty 1B/DH especially on a team with Smolinski, Davis, Valencia and now Healy.

          TINSTAAFK
          • Soaker Jul 15,2016 5:37 pm || Up

            I’m more thinking ahead to the end of March, when they keep Burns and send somebody more deserving down because good heavens, we would lose Burns if we DFA him. Probably less significantly, his value to anybody else who still has any interest in him in an offseason trade went down because of this…not that it would be anything more than as a throw-in with Sonny Gray but still.

            What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
  18. Glorious Mundy Jul 15,2016 10:45 am

    lmao

    • MikeV Jul 15,2016 11:05 am || Up

      Honestly part of me thinks we deserve this POS.

      And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

      Thanks, and go As.

      • Glorious Mundy Jul 15,2016 11:07 am || Up

        There are moments. However, I know for certain that the non-white people among us don’t deserve it.

        • MikeV Jul 15,2016 11:39 am || Up

          I know. It totally sucks.

          I really wonder what it’s going to fucking take for people to realize how bad shit can get

          OH SHIT WAIT I JUST FOUND A PIKACHU IN POKEMON GO HELL YES NOW I GOTTA GO WATCH THE VOICE AND KARDASHIANS

          And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

          Thanks, and go As.

          • Future Ed Jul 15,2016 7:00 pm || Up

            you found pikachu? where?

            (camp ed next week is going to be me following the boys smoking a tareyton cigarette)

            I have $5. No I don\'t.
        • Soaker Jul 15,2016 2:25 pm || Up

          California should look for some volunteers among its spare Latino voters to take up residency in Ohio for a few months.

          What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
      • Glorious Mundy Jul 15,2016 11:46 am || Up

        Speaking of deserving it…

        • nevermoor Jul 15,2016 3:30 pm || Up

          My favorite line so far was someone saying that this is what happens when you forget a comma in “Donald Trump needs a running mate with experience governing, badly”

          "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"

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