Hey there, hi there, ho there. This is what all the cool kids in class like to call a lounge. What you do in one  of these lounges is post written words and or sentences on the internet for others to read. I think it has a future…unlike me.
Lounge em’ if you got em’
Professionally Muggy
i had to ruin my entire day because some guy wants to fire me.
I know a guy if you need to get rid of someone.
Hopefully not some guy who also can. Good luck!
by “ruin” i meant, cut into the time I had set aside to run during “lunch.”
guy yelled at me, tried to punch me, told the judge why I was a piece of shit, then when the judged denied his motion to fire him, I successfully argued for his release.
I bet he punches me friday when he comes in for an office visit when I explain why the motions he wants me to write are frivolous.
Your job sounds exhausting at times. Interesting but exhausting. Have you thought about getting into Air Conditioning repair?
maybe he’ll just chase you around the desk and you can still get your run in.
Cue Yakety Sax.
he was in leg shackles, I doubt I’d get to my cardio burn zone
Perhaps you should have argued less persuasively for his release.
right?
If I “take care” of this problem, I expect excellent defense…
I’m disappointed that I’m not seeing your name as a court-appointed attorney in the Santa Cruz murder case.
i was 2 feet from the kid tuesday when he was in juvi.
I feel like we don’t talk enough about Karch Kiraly enough here on Free Kraut.
I’m on vacation the rest of the week. Just me, the dog, the cat, and my crippling credit card debt. Rest of the clan is in Oahu for a month…jerks.
Greatest vacation ever really…three days off in the middle of summer in Arkansas. It just does’t get better than this.
you have to work? why didn’t you go? schools out, yeah?
I’m not a teacher anymore so no more summer vacations.
Which came first…the chicken or the Egg McMuffin?
“Chicken McNugget” surely?
Hmm….well, that does make sense and I’m pretty sure science will back us up on this.
If I can come up with just one funny post involving Bridget the Midget, Courtney Love, and Martin O’Malley I’ll probably just retire from the internet.
Courtney Love and Martin O’Malley walked into a bar
– but Bridget the Midget just walked under it.
Oh, you said funny.
I figure if we have an actual funny post in the lounge people might enjoy the change.
We’ll leave it up to the judges to see if this post requires retirement talk.
Which came first…the chicken or volunteer work?
Netflix seems popular so maybe we should make Free Kraut more like it….how do we make this site binge worthy?
I think you’ve pretty much perfected the art of “binge posting…”
It’s my gift to America.
America to Bed: Thanks but no thanks.
Hi Jennifer.
So Atticus Finch is a racist, Hulk Hogan is a racist, and Barney the Dinosaur hates the Irish.
You ever wonder if jorts will make a comeback?
there gone?
Jorts live on in Antarctica!
saw a brief antartica slideshow this weekend by a person who’s not you.
he made special mention of the disc-golf course on the S pole and credited santa cruz.
Who gave the slideshow? Paul Sullivan and Jesse I-don’t-know-his-last-name are two disc golfers who come to mind.
nice.
it was a naturalist. bird-watcher or some non-mathy crap like that. he was in santa cruz talking about how penguins are expected well-above above the equator any day now, and that there aren’t any people watching for them around baja, so the first penguin is most likely to be seen off california. even less mathy, the slide show was a prelude to some poems he was about to read.
I’m surprised that someone who works on penguins would ever make it to the South Pole.
it’s this guy. maybe his rank in penguin expertise was, um, self appointed? he did keep talking about them. but judging from the amazon blurb, he was studying the other odd birds at the pole, the scientists there. lol at the 1 review.
Ah cool. It looks like he was in the Antarctica Artist-in-residence program for 2010-11. I think those people get to visit South Pole and McMurdo. I met one of them a couple years ago.
I wonder how much money Jolt Cola had to pay for the product placement in that episode of Halt and Catch Fire? In a related note when in the heck is something going to halt and catch fire on that show? In another related note when is Kerry Bishe going to answer my texts? In yet another related note can someone show me how to text. In one last related note do you ever think Toto will get back together?
Does this show get better? I’m about six episodes in and it is kind of a mess.
i liked it for the retro things: fashion, music, computing issues. plot’s dismissible.
Those are the things I’m watching for. There’s much potential, but it just feels like the story and the characters are all over the map right now. At times it feels almost like a send up of Mad Men-style “prestige” cable dramas, with the overly obvious symbolism and the telegraphed Big Moments that fall totally flat.
maybe not sendup. maybe just one of the many shows following the period nostalgia/revisionism style that mad men opened up, and this one not quite pulling it off.
the miami hotel one (can’t remember the name) is also good for fashion, music, period issues, though the plot is much more conventional and therefore easier for the writers to not mess up.
The second season was much stronger than the first but it’s still a show that has its fair share of bad plot threads.
Just watched the third season. I’d say it gets legitimately very good.
Yep. I wish they’d found more in-between seasons (to make the run longer without having to let the characters get too much older)
Who wins more games this year…Raiders or 49ers?
this confuses me
Just focus on your lunch, Ed.
Neither?
6-10 for both teams seems about right to me. I’m just hoping the Raiders are at least entertaining this year.
I suspect the team with 6 wins is the local champion. The Niners just don’t have enough football players to play football in the national football league.
Both teams have ownership problems but at least yours has money. Mine has a better haircut however.
And you guys have the better coaching staff.
I think our staff is professionally competent which sadly is an upgrade. Del Rio is at least a plausible head coach. We’ve had a few who wouldn’t even be interviewed by other teams to be a coordinator. Tomsula looks like Super Mario so he has that going for him.
Raiders will win 9 games this year. I believe this. I have to; it’s the only way I can justify skipping my daughter’s birthday, my wedding anniversary, and Christmas Eve to attend home games this year.
This is why I got married in the summer…well, not really but that did work out well for me. I hope you’re right about the nine games but that win total would shock me. Six feels like the ceiling to me. We might have the worst running game in football. Little to no pass rush and the secondary looks weak to me. I like the linebackers, the receivers have some promise and I’m hopeful about Carr. I just hope it’s a good building block year for something better….you know, when they’re in LA.
Nine is optimistic but possible I think. I expect the running game to be a strength, actually, behind a consistent O-line. Pass rush should be better. Secondary, yeah, scary.
Also, you spelled Santa Clara wrong.
The line should be better with Hudson but I have doubts about Murray and Richardson might be the worst RB in football. I’m not sure why the pass rush will be all that better in terms of the talent. I haven’t read much about what type of scheme Norton is going to run. I’m hoping they can produce more pressure with less blitzing and that takes talent up front. I hope the Raiders find a way to stay in Oakland but that affects you local fans more than me. I grew up with them in LA so that wouldn’t kill me.
If you want to hit me up on Facebook you can find me in Arkansas.
I looked up Beds in Arkansas and I got results I was not expecting involving family members I did not know I had.
We’re just one big family here in the Natural State…I mean literally. One cousin in the hand is better than two in the bush.
A hand-job is better than a 3-way in Arkansas?
Depends on the hand.
Since every other sports site is doing Tom Brady stories I’ll carry the load for us and post the truth about this situation…are you ready? The truth is…Tom Brady is getting older so deflated balls were bound to happen. Yeah, I know…I should have been an sportswriter or an astronaut.
Grantland has 47 stories up about Tom Cruise. It’s good to see they’re staying a sports site even after Bill Simmons left.
At this point in my life I’m mostly made up of grit, resentment and cortisone shots.
Which came first…the chicken or podcasts about how to cook chicken?
I just started listening to a podcast about a guy starting a podcasting company.
It’s a brave new world.
I can’t decide if I should watch a movie, take a nap, or invade Poland.
downfall. covers all three
Are there any good movies out right now? I haven’t been to the movies since Reagan was in office.
Trainwreck had some funny parts, but mediocre overall.
I’ve heard it has some funny parts. I know the lead actress is gaining in popularity but I’m not familiar with her work.
you’re not missing anything. all the movies out right now are reboots of movies made while reagan was in office.
Inside Out and Ant Man.
I can’t say enough good things about Inside Out. Wonderful film.
I loved it. Especially Sadness.
herman’s head reboot!
How ’bout Charlie Hoover instead?
somehow i managed to miss all 7 of those episodes when they aired, even with sam kinison as a bluescreen imposition, but that’s not really it. it’s about the separated characteristics of one person in dialog with themselves inside that person. even devil on one shoulder, angel on the other isn’t quite that.
I know. But it isnt often that I have almost an actual reason to mention Charlie Hoover.
Now if you can give me a reason to talk about Parker Lewis Cant Lose we will be good to go.
you wanna talk about miserable yet iconic 90s TV shows?
get a life.
Ha ha!
Well played.
been bugging me all night. there was a late-90s TV sitcom with a sorta butch-looking guy with blonde spiky hair (who maybe smoked and drank on camera or my memory is making this part up) and i think the signature scenes of the show happened inside his head, or maybe in his imagination (but for longer segments than in allie mcbeal). the character’s name was troy or (i wanna say) spike (but that’s a different butchy blonde character) or even butch, something monosyllabic and bursty like that. i can totally picture him, an angular from-above camera angle, but can’t figure out his name or the show.
titus.
remembered bowling shirts. easy googling from there.
Never would have got it because I couldnt think of it as a 90s show.
I seem to remember lots of people thinking Titus was going to be the next big comedian to TV. But looking at his wikipedia page I have no idea why i thought that. But I do remember critics liking the show.
Did not know he was born in Castro Valley and grew up in Newark.
i guess it’s not 90s. i remember watching a few in the apartment i lived in 97–2000 and mentally rolled it back.
It’s close enough. #arbitrary cutoffs.
Titus is the name mentioned in one of the nicest opening paragraphs of a book I ever read.
Just had to check whether his name is mentioned in the first paragraph of Titus Groan.
I really enjoyed Ant Man.
The best thing about having a dog is it allows you to talk to yourself and use the dog as a beard.
The best thing about having a cat is the knowledge that it’s just waiting for the chance to kill you…or is that the best part about having a kid? I can never remember.
I named my cats lyle and eric
Our cat gets a new Hawaiian name each month…doesn’t come to any of them. The cat is from Oklahoma so it’s kind of an elitist jerk.
So they made a new Vacation movie? And it stars the guy who was the least funny in the Hangover movies and Kelly Bundy. Pretty thin gruel of movies out…was Jurassic Park: Park Harder any good? And what the hell is Ant-Man?
JP:PH stars Scott Hatteberg so how could it go wrong?
I might give it a go…nothing else looks all that interesting. I was hoping the new Mission Impossible movie was out but I guess that doesn’t drop until Friday.
My wife wants to see Jurassic Park because she likes Scott Hatteberg. I don’t want to see it because it is almost certainly a bad movie.
If it’s a fun bad movie that would hit a sweet spot for me. I just want something entertaining…hmm…maybe I’ll go just go watch Ed at work.
I saw it at a relatives house as part of a fundraiser. Couldnt hear a thing because we were watching it outside with no drive in speaker. But I stayed awake the whole time, so it does have that going for it…
So I’m getting closer to having good announcements. 2nd and 3rd interviews flying at me. The one thing that seems almost certain is I will be out of Fresno. Right now Sacto, Portland, and Seattle are running neck and neck. So prepare all the info you have mighty FKers, I may be asking about school and neighborhoods throughout the west soon.
Do you have a preference? Weather wise I’d want Sacramento but I enjoy the sun while others like dreary rain day after day after day after day.
Actually the more I think about it I’m going to need you to stay in Fresno for the good of the blog. I need the set up for my Fresno related humor. So do me a solid, okay.
If there were any sort of actual jobs here I would. Lil Miss Aces is going to have the most epic of meltdowns when we have to move. She had on when we moved a mile away from our old home.
I dont have a huge preference either way. Having lived for a little bit in Sacto before it would be most comfortable (though i dont want to get stuck with the G’s AAA team again). But I think Portland is the one I need to go for. As FSU tangently said last night, my oldest is heading to Oregon State. If I can live in Oregon he is now an in state student and saves probably 10,000 a year. So if all other things are equal that is where I wil go. And really I have been looking at places I think I would enjoy, so if only one works out, so be it.
Yeah that’s a good reason for Portland. Do you have a preference on the jobs themselves are all they all in the same field? All rain jokes aside Portland has its charms. Great food scene and nice summers. I’ve been to the Oregon State campus a couple of times. It seemed like a cool place to go to school.
and james v
All pretty much the same job. Little differences that I’m trying to make sure I know about (one of them leads people in a single location, another may be multiple locations). But all are similar enough that it doesnt change much for me.
Well, I wish you and your family the best of luck in wherever you end up. Change is both exciting and a little bit scary but it often leads to better things.
So about that looming Cascadia earthquake…
I read about that and yeah-has given me thoughts. It knocked Seattle down a bit, and will make me pack a real disaster kit.
My wife is super freaked out about it. We’re going out to Washington to visit my mom at the end of August and she is convinced that we’re going to die.
The New Yorker writer has a followup in the new issue, in which she’s sort of trying to calm people down but then recommends never staying in a hotel within three miles of the coast.
That would be super cool. what of the littlest Aces?
Lil Miss as mentioned above will freak out no matter what. Lilest Ace will go with the flow and not have an issue provided I have a good internet connection.
The other issue is this forces me to finally file the papers and whatnot that I need to have with the still technically not ex-Mrs Aces. She may actually decided to move too since nothing is holding her here. And then what do we decide with the kids. She would do better with the girl, but her living arrangement makes that a nogo right now.
So a lot to figure out in a short time once I have offers. The good thing is with us being civil it shouldnt be hard to get on a good page.
I have a friend going through a brutal divorce right now. It sounds like yours is going as well as one of those things can go. It’s always a tough thing.
My memory is getting so bad I don’t even get songs stuck in my head anymore.
the title has this stuck in my head
Your streak of linking to bands I’ve never heard of continues.
I was in a town called Fort Smith last week and saw a pick em up truck with three large confederate flags flying out the back of the truck. Stay classy, Snapper Head.
I don’t believe in evolution because back hair doesn’t make any sense. Also Jesus told me evolution was the work of the devil.
I was actually in California a few months back but it was Los Angeles so I’m not sure that counts.
Where Are They Now? Former A’s Edition
Cespedes was the last guy I got a kick out of watching. Something would often happen with him…it wasn’t always good but it kept my attention. I’d like to catch a couple of Sonny Gray starts this year if I can. See him before he’s traded in two years.
Agreed. He was a drop-everything-and-focus at bat, and a human highlight reel (both ways) in the OF.
Often both ways on the same play.
So what you’re saying is he goes both ways often at the same time.
Yeah, the more I think about it I pretty much zoned out on the A’s after he got traded. It wasn’t an intentional thing but it just sort of happened.
So did the rest of the A’s.
I don’t know what the sabermetrics say but it feels like the A’s are one of the most boring teams in baseball. I just haven’t had any desire to watch them this year. I joke about not knowing the players but this year it’s actually true. Of course we’ll have all new ones soon enough. I really hope stability comes to the franchise one day. I just don’t feel any connection to the team right now outside of being a longtime fan.
I hope they dont plan to have Chris Pine take over for Cabrera.
He’s too busy ruining movies.
If you want to hit me up on Twitter I’m in the current timeline of this dimension’s version of myself.
Better quarterback in two seasons…Kaepernick or Carr?
So if we all move to Portland should we just make this a Trailblazers blog?
oh good. it’s bed. i thought maybe you guys were still talking trades.
If there’s a bunch of posts it means one of three things….trades, meta, or me.
Trades don’t even drive this many comments.
Of course it depends on how you look at it with the comments. How many people have posted in this thread…10 to 12 I would think. It’s just that one of them posted a lot. If we could get 30-40 regular posters I think this site would be as good as its ever been. I’m not sure why its died off so much. I thought maybe I was posting too much but I’ve been in two threads all season so you can only blame me so much. People are busy and the A’s aren’t doing well so maybe it’s just the ebb and flow of life. I don’t read AN anymore so I don’t know how busy they are over there these days.
We have no recruiting mechanism. Ed needs to tweet more.
I really think this site would be appealing to a certain type of person. Everyone still here is funny, smart, and friendly for the most part. It feels like its been ages since there was kraut on kraut violence unless I missed some. So many comments sections on sports sites are filled with bile, racism, sexism, and just plain old stupidity. Here on Free Kraut we only have me to be those things.
Half the people moved to freekraut.biz
We should counter with freekraut.org
As FSU suggests it’s small group fatigue. The comment count was dropping last year while the A’s had the best record in baseball so their performance is not much of a factor. Some of the conversation, maybe a lot of it, has moved over to Facebook where I’m not involved. Personally, I spend more time than I care to on the Internet so I’m not going to fight too hard to keep a blog going.
I think I probably spend less time on the internet than most. I’ve really only posted on three sites. A football site that a friend of mine had several years ago, AN, and here. If the site goes under I’ll just start writing nonsensical random thoughts on paper and then burn them.
Authentic Mexican food or Tex-Mex?
I see Jon Stewart is almost done on The Daily Show. His show is a lot like The Simpsons for me. I love it but I haven’t watched it regularly in years. I never miss John Oliver though. One show a week is a better pace.
Which came first the chichen or the itza?
been there, ate that.
What’s a TV show that is critically acclaimed that you can’t stand?
The National Football League
I still love the game but I really, really hate the league itself. Roger Goodell is a twit.
I do like that teams in cities like Indianapolis and Green Bay have a fair chance to compete. Teams that go a dozen years without making the playoffs (cough) are in that situation due to inept ownership/management, not because income inequality from television puts them at an institutional disadvantage. Goodell’s competence as commissioner, that’s a valid point.
The NFL’s financial model is really strong…well, except for the players not getting guaranteed contracts…I do like that everyone is mostly on the same footing. The fact that it’s the one sport that gets good national TV ratings year in and year out makes that possible.
Huzzah!
Seinfeld.
Thanks, and go As.
Would you rather go to a Bluegrass music festival or be put to death by lethal injection?
Since I’m cooking for myself I think I’ll grill up a steak with a side of another steak.
I was at Walmart this morning and they have Apple Pie Bagels for sale…to be eaten I assume.
I just finished reading The Thousand Autumns of Jacob De Zoet (loved it), and there is a delightful passage about the history of kraut as a scurvy prevention measure in the English navy. All of the characters seem to agree with me that it is disgusting.
I miss reading books for pleasure. It goes on my list of things I no longer have time for. Along with the NBA, live music, and regular showers.
That happened to me for a while, but I’ve realized recently that reading fiction is important to my mental health, so I sort of make time (sometimes at the expense of sleep).
I think I read one novel last year which is an all time low. I’m still reading a ton for work and school so I’m hoping when I’m done with the PhD I might have more time for fiction again.
I’m pretty steady at 25 or so books / year, mostly novels but also the occasional short story collection or non-fiction. My wife is typically around 150 / year, so she brings the household average *way* up.
Holy Cow!
She’s heavily into young adult and middle grade fiction (which is what she writes), plus a decent number of picture books. So it’s not quite the same time investment as you would need for 150 thick literary novels. On the other hand, she served on the American Library Association Best Fiction for Young Adults committee from 2009–2011 and she was up around 300 books/year for that period.
Wow…your wife is a heck of a reader. In my prime I probably read between 60-80 books a year. Probably about 60% non-fiction.
136 all out! Never doubted the ND of EC.
For those on the edge of your seat the nap won out so Poland is safe and the movies will have to wait.
Bed: He Forgot Poland
This will likely go on my tombstone.
Dammit, I missed Scully on with Vince during the pregame.
fill my ears, with that double vin-tion.
…and AV wins the lounge.
not even. your return takes all honors, as far as i’m concerned.
Why thank you…that’s nice of you to say.
:)
I kind of wish the Seahawks would move back to the AFC West so I could sports hate Russell Wilson in earnest.
If you want to hit me up on Instagram you can find me at…well, actually I don’t know what Instagram is.
We’ll wait for your Tinder account.
“dead sexy” is too on point
…but it’s thick.
Excellent.
You ever feel like you’re a red shirt in your own life?
I’m more of the random extra Kirk brushes by in the corridor. Or the obnoxious admiral who lectures Picard while he is making a wanking motion to Riker off screen.
You ever watch an Adam Sandler movie and wonder if humans deserve extinction?
Every time.
You ever met anyone who actually had an uncle named Bob?
You ever get tired of being told how good looking you are?
You ever wonder why Ray Fosse doesn’t have his own line of mouthwash?
You ever look someone dead in the eye and actually been able to tell if they’re being honest or not?
You ever wonder what Hannibal Lecter would be like as a character if he became a vegan?
You ever go to the shooting range to meet a lady?
You ever think to yourself I deserve this second piece of original recipe Kentucky Fried Chicken?
You ever stand up and yell fire in a movie theater where you’re the only person there?
You ever go to a play and wonder why they don’t have trailers for upcoming plays?
They’re too cheap to license “Solsbury Hill.”
Heh..yeah, that might be the most played song in movie trailer history.
You ever open up a box of Good & Plenty’s and wish they were Mike & Ike’s.
You ever been on a plane and wondered if using your cell phone was going to kill everyone on board?
You ever hoped for the best but deep down rooted for the worst to happen?
You ever seen a Kevin Costner movie and wish Kurt Russell was playing the role instead?
You ever wonder how it is that Meatloaf has sold millions of records?
Jim Steinman.
Who went to high school with Tony Kornheiser.
You ever bring a knife to a gunfight?
You ever wonder how many Olympic gold medals you could have won in the long jump?
You ever eat at Sizzler’s and think to yourself maybe fasting is a good idea?
Finally, one I can answer with “no”
Hmm…so you’re saying Sizzler’s aren’t the preferred steak house of all of Europe?
The fact that I never heard of Sizzler’s say more about me than about them, I guess.
There aren’t just that many steak house chains or food chains in general in Europe as there are in the States. The only two I can think of (steak houses in Germany) are Maredo and Block House, both of which you have probably never heard of. But in general, while McDonald’s, Burger King and KFC have found their way to most every corner* around here, there is just not that much equivalent to the scores of Applebee’s, Wendy’s, Arby’s, IHOP, Red Lobster and what not.
* Almost every corner. Donostia, in Spain, has no fast food chains within the city limits. It is also by many means one of the food capitals of the world, if not the (Kyoto excluded), which makes eating out there such a treat.
for your edification
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E3YGtQ40Qvs
You ever think about drinking iced tea with Ice-T?
You ever wish you could go back to that school trip in 1989 and ask Michelle out?
You ever regret that Ruben Sierra tattoo you got back in 1993?
Hell no. I’m not crazy about the Scott Hemond one though.
You ever look a gift horse in the mouth and then try and lead it to water?
You ever order spaghetti and get angel hair pasta instead and wonder why god hates you?
You ever drink a Diet 7Up and wonder when you became such a coward?
You ever regret not taking up square dancing as a kid?
We had mandatory square dancing in high school P.E. Not one of my fondest memories.
one camp (seriously i just said this) in 6th grade, i sat next to the most popular boy in school at the camps last night square dance. we were not friends, there was not a plan for me to sit next to him.
when the caller announced that the girls would be choosing boys, a large number of the girls race walked over. i was surprised that I was chosen so early by one of the girls who didn’t make it to him in time
Sound tactics, my friend
that was rainy day PE in my middle school.
I think we did that in middle school as well. I remember that and a word working class…middle school was a long two years.
That is a school fail. You were supposed to be flapping a parachute.
we played british bulldog
co-ed contact sports in middle school? gasp!
wait. is do-si-do’ing considered contact?
no, i think it’s because we didn’t have a real gym in that middle school. just a big carpeted assembly room. OMG. just reminded me how painful assemblies were. no seats. so just sit there cross-legged for an hour or till there was an equal amount of numb pain in butt, legs, and arms from leaning forward and leaning back.
that was in the US. in argentina we had this really odd game. you balled up a piece of paper, and you rolled up two other pieces of paper to form an extended tube. then someone threw the paper ball at this square drawn on the chalkboard. the other kid would try to flick the ball in the air with that tube. if you hit the square three times, the tube-dude had to let the next person try and hit the ball. if you had the tube and could hit the paper ball with it you had to run and touch the 3 other walls and come back to the chalkboard. meanwhile the person throwing the ball would have to go fetch it, or get it from another kid standing around the room, and throw it at this target, also drawn on the chalkboard, with rings ranging from 1 pt to 10 pts as the bullseye, till you made 20 pts. if you made 20 pts, the person running had to stop at the wall they were at and wait till the next person flicked the paper ball. and all of this had to happen before 3 kids had their chalkboard boxes hit 3 times, or everybody had to sit down. it was called beisbol. did i mention, really odd game? nobody got it. somewhere halfway through it, somebody would roll up a couple socks and try kicking it under someone else’s desk. and that someone else would try to kick it under yours. way more sensible.
My 6th grade teacher was an amateur square dance caller. He taught after school classes, and although he said it was “optional” it became pretty clear that if you didn’t participate, he’d be a douche to you in class. It was quite the racket because he required that you wear actual square dancing clothes, and surprise surprise, his wife operated a square dance clothing shop out of their basement.
Haha that’s ridiculous.
Sounds like government.
Thanks, and go As.
You ever wonder why movies still show people having phone answering machines?
You ever see the name Taylor Swift and think it’s a golf club?
You ever turn down sex so you could watch a rerun of Barney Miller?
No, but I did ask if, instead of cuddling, we could watch an episode of Fish.
You ever wonder where Soaker went to boarding school?
David Crosby attended that school, well before me of course. He was expelled (gee whiz I wonder why) but they allowed him to finish his work off campus and graduate so he’s one of the more interesting alums.
My most notable classmate, as I think I’ve mentioned before, was Adam Firestone, of Firestone Walker Brewing in Paso Robles (Union Jack IPA etc.).
I’m in touch with six friends from high school…all losers but I still like them. Nobody famous though.
You ever wonder why the person who invented Spam isn’t in the Rock N’ Roll Hall of Fame?
Whenever I go to Hawaii I seek out dishes with Span in them. At a minimum at least one Spam Musubi is essential. I did not know that Spam is cooked in its own can at the factory.
A family friend (who was from Hawaii) passed away a few years ago. My wife and I went to her funeral, and the post-service spread prominently feature Spam Musubi.
I am seriously in need of a plate lunch from Zippy’s right now.
I will be on the Big Island in a few weeks and have already ID’d a couple promising plate lunch spots.
Tex Drive-In in Honokaa makes great Malasadas.
Plans are already laid in for the Maui trip in February. If this El Niño delivers, boy will I need that. Spam, though…no thank you.
When I’m in Hawaii I pretty much only eat fish, maybe a little pork, and lots of fruit. I usually choke down a little poi just to have stories to tell.
If you can’t wait, San Mateo is closer.
Hey doc, new Alameda plate lunch place!
http://m.eastbayexpress.com/oakland/kau-kau-corner-brings-aloha-to-alameda/Content?oid=4443600
/drooldrooldrooldrooldrooldrooldrooldrooldrooldrooldrooldrooldrooldrooldrooldrooldrooldrooldrooldrooldrooldrooldrooldrooldrooldrooldrooldrooldrooldrooldrooldrooldrooldrooldrooldrooldrooldrooldrooldrooldrooldrooldrooldrool
My brain wishes this place was in the south bay. My belt is thrilled they are in Alameda.
You ever bought a Mumford & Sons CD and find out they’ve become Coldplay?
You ever wonder why you remain a Raiders fan since all they do is bring your life pain?
Replace Raiders with every team I have ever been a fan of, and yes.
You ever wish Andie had ended up with Duckie instead of Blaine?
pretty sure john hughes did.
but i’ve reached an age where i realize vanessa is the one to end up with. so i watch a lot of corvette summer instead.
You ever wonder if that girl you liked who was really into The Cure is still a goth chick?
All the time.
You ever wonder if you should have gone left instead of right that one time you had a choice to make about going left or right?
Just one time at Albuquerque.
you must have made a wrong turn.
You ever look back at your life and realize there was one moment that changed everything but you didn’t realize it until now?
You ever wonder what happened to the word “do”?
Do you ever wonder about it?
You ever wish 1991 Dennis Miller would beat the shit out of 2015 Dennis Miller?
You ever wonder if they’ll ever run out of Bush’s who think they should be President?
You ever go to a Selena Gomez concert and realize you aren’t a 13 year old girl?
You ever wonder when the Charlie Daniel’s Band is going to have another hit record?
You ever wake up and realize that 1995 was twenty years ago?
yes… i have a friend who was born in 95. I met her in a bar and shes very sweet and rather mature in certain ways so you tend to forget the age difference… but then she throws a drink at a guy at my brithday party essentially so that we could get the booth, and you remember that shes still 19.
1995 is probably when I spent the most time in bars and back then they never carded anybody in Lawrence so I’m sure plenty of 19 year olds were drinking as much cheap beer as they could.
She makes more money than I do, and goes to about to as many michelin starred restaraunts.
Hmm…when I was 19 I was so broke I was living off of Gatorade and whatever I could scrounge. No Michelin starred restaurants for me.
You ever wish your nose was smaller and your feet bigger or vice versa?
You ever wish Kirk Cameron would become an atheist?
You ever wish they’d make a movie where James Bond and Jason Bourne try to kill each other?
You ever find yourself actually having bigger fish to fry?
You ever think using the word problematic is problematic at best?
You ever think I’ll figure out when to say when?
Bye Jennifer.
eat your secret out, victoria. here’s zlatan modeling the latest thing in GPS manzier brokinis.
Debating with friends:
Have you ever gone to an 80’s party? If no, would you?
Would you ever go to a 90’s party?
I believe that no one would go to a 90’s party and if they wanted to they wouldnt know how to dress anyways…
No. No.
No.
You would wear all hypercolor, zubaz, and Marithe Francois Girbaud.
Tomorrow’s fireworks show after the A’s game is 90s music-themed.
There was some good music made in the 90s, but the stuff that topped the charts (and will presumably be played tomorrow) must be the worst of any decade since the invention of pop.
and stay off my lawn
Hey, man, I was the target age for popular music in the 90s. On the other hand, the 90s was also when I started to recognize that there was an entire universe of stuff that wasn’t played on the radio. So yeah.
86-96 is the period that has the most music I love in it. I’d lean towards a 90’s party because that’s the decade I did the most partying in. My partying in the 80’s involved pinatas and bobbing for apples.
Pissin the night away…pissin the niiiiight away
I actually really liked that song, and I still like it if I’m being honest. Might be because I was literally pissing the night away in London when I first heard it.
I dunno, I think I’d take the ’90s over the ’80s.
And I can listen to “80s on 8” for a while, but “70s on 7”, I never last more than 5 minutes.
I cant remember who gave me a bunch of 90s reccomendations here but the 80s crush the 90s
I’m trying to come up with a 90s fireworks track list, but I have no idea how any song would go with fireworks. Here’s an attempt at a best-case set (iconic 90s hits only):
California Love
No Diggity
Song 2
Sabotage
Enter Sandman
Linger
MMMBop
The Humpty Dance
Disco 2000 (not a big hit here but still)
End of the Road
I know you said “best-case” but I don’t think you can do a 90s fireworks show without “Livin La Vida Loca”. It’s easy to envision the fireworks BOOMS with that one.
Probably “The Macarena Song” too. (Hey, Macarena — BLAM!)
That had to be the biggest novelty hit of the 90’s.
Other contenders:
“Mambo No. 5”
“I’m Too Sexy”
“Barbie Girl”
Well, I’m Too Sexy has been the basis for at least 100 jokes by me over the years so I’d lean towards it being the one that I most remember. I always turned the dial quickly on Mambo No. 5.
I like the way you work it!
I picture them using something from Tragic Kingdom. (My assumption would be Just a Girl).
I dont think they care how it fits with the fireworks. With the exception that they probably arent using Civil War off of Use Your Illusion II.
Spiderwebs would be the choice. I like that song.
I’m talking myself into 90s hits being better than I thought, actually. It’s really the last third of the decade that was shameful.
not really.
no
SLF’s band in Seattle was keyboard heavy* and were invited to play and “80s night” at the crocodile. There were 10 bands or so and everyone was supposed to do 2 80s covers, they did this and this.
*for reference, here is a thing with pictures from after SLF and I moved to SF
and with SLF
i DJ’d an 80s party. someone requested blur. that’s the thing about retro parties. you’re catering to people who weren’t there.
though, my first 90s party was in january 2000. totally ironic of course. but we all had very authentic torn jeans and flannels.
This topic begs for this question….which decade is the best decade in music history?
1820s
If we were talking marches I am going with the 1890’s. Souse has 2 of his biggest with the Washington Post being done in 1889, which lets be honest was really part of the 1890s anyway…
nah. he’s waffling between classical and romantic, trying to ride the fence to be all inclusionist and pleasant. “i’m ed and i like the 9th symphony AND that DRI metal album.” UGH!
the glooooorious 9th
come and get one in the yarbles.
bolshie great yarblockos
I would most definitely go to an 80’s party. And if it was costume, so much the better. In my digging through for the big clean up, I found a Halloween photo from about 15 years ago. I was dressed as Robert Smith and my friend was Adam Ant. For my Robert Smith costume I’m wearing her pair of the very first 1985 Air Jordan’s which we also found during the big clean up. Turns out they are selling for a pretty penny on eBay so now I just need to summon the energy to create a listing.
Whoa!! What kind of condition are those Jordans in?
Definitely used, but not terrible condition. Her mom evidently thought she needed them to play point guard for the St. Hillary Dolphins. They are white with the light grey swoosh. It looks like the white with red & black are more prevalent.
Somewhere in some folder on a since abandoned laptop I have a picture of you on a Halloween dressed as Nick Swisher.
When I hosted an 80s party years ago I was as Morrissey as I could get.
Nice. I’ve also gone as Stevie Ray Vaughn and have been tempted to try my hand at Pat Benatar.
were you groped?
Regrettably no. I did not have the party at the airport. But I did hold off on eating meat that night and I complained that everyone else should do the same.
YES.
yes.
you could wear a bunch of neon, you could do the seattle cobain thing, there are lots of options.
FK the 1980s.
You ever wonder whether the estate of Andy Rooney can sue Bed for stealing his bit?
Bed: He’s like Andy Rooney without talent or caterpillar eyebrows.
I wish I could find the news radio phil hartman bit where phil says in reaction to a review calling phil’s character an unfunny andy rooney “Andy Rooney is an unfunny andy rooney”
Phil Hartman was the best.
Is it stupid to still buy music? Who has the best paid streaming service? Since most of my devices are Apple now I’m thinking about giving their new service a try.
I’ve been using their thing for a couple of weeks since there’s a free trial. It’s pretty good. The interface still doesn’t make much sense to me at times, but that was the case with Spotify and Rdio too.
It seems like it would be the easiest one to use on my iPhone. Is it easy to search for new music? I’ve never tried Spotify. I had Pandora on my old Samsung but I want to be able to pick my own songs and listen to entire albums not just singles (yes, I’m old)
I’m the same. Albums all the way. Also old.
It’s relatively easy to search. Definitely a little confusing at first figuring out what screen you need to be in and how to search “Apple Music” instead of your own iTunes collection.
I’ll give it a shot. I think I already own all the obscure music I want so as long as I can find some interesting new stuff to listen to it should work out. If I can’t figure out to use it Miss Hawaii will show me how when she gets back.
I wonder if I buy this 1967 Ford Mustang I’m looking at while my wife’s away if she’ll notice it when she gets back.
Just finished Gunman with Mr. Happy Sean Penn…pretty sure he’s juicing. He has the face of a 90 year old man who spends most of free time smoking but he’s ripped. I have to say I didn’t go into this movie thinking there would be lots of shirtless Sean Penn scenes but there were several. Terrible movie.
Ciao Jennifer
Lock the gates!
I hear those words and I immediately skip forward 15 minutes.
Is this Ronda Rousey thing really that popular in the US, or is it just that the media is forcing it?
I can’t speak for everyone, but I’ve certainly seen more interest in UFC than before she took off.
Next week I’ll be travelling to a city that has both a “oo” and a “dd” in the same word. Which made me think, are there any other cities like that?
somtimes. when I am typing
TWHS
oakland.
just wait till the 40 and the blunt take effect.
—-
so what are you doing in hoofddorp?
though i’m not sure we can call it a city, what with no cathedral and the word village right there in its name.
so i move we substitute it with goodenough island, even if it doesn’t have the full dd to go with the ll, simply because it’s got the character to recognize that sometimes things are goodenough.
Well, it is MAINville, so there’s that.
Very nice, how did you get it?
There is a MLB Academy event there, the one that was normally being held annually in Tirennia. The best young European prospects get together, do drills in the morning and games in the afternoon. Very often a few of them sign during the camp. I’m going to check it out, hook up with some scouts-ex-teammates-friends, have a beer or two and afterwards check a Dutch league match for some players who might fit for the next year’s local German team’s roster.
the exhausting / non-exhaustive way. tried to find a single page with a list of the most world cities in it, then did a search for oo in that page. wasn’t turning up anything, so i had to look for pages that listed more and smaller cities, which meant pages for individual countries. and that’s a lot of individual pages, which a google-aided site:search wasn’t helping with, so i quickly had to decide, if i was going to go page by page, what languages to focus on. dutch was #1. found your city quickly enough, then tried to find more, just in case, in places where the dutch had been: south africa, antilles, etc. like i said, not exhaustive. especially since i quit shortly after finding the one.
and very much limited to my own preconceptions. like, i tried to think of english constructions that would work, and then google mapped them. wooddale, for example. but that’s either a church in minesota as one word, or a town in illinois in two words.
i do wonder what the dutch call the middle east… middenoost?
Very nice. Sounds like a thing I would do.
Almost. Midden-Oosten
OK, let’s inAUGurate the month with a birthday tribute to someone everyone knows, born this day in 1942 and somehow gone for 20 years now. Blog with us now as we Captain Trips back to the rural French countryside 44 years ago, and a little unissued concert film — constructed by some very dedicated fans — of materials shot for French TV at the infamous Honky Chateau in Hérouville. It’s Jerry Garcia’s 73rd birthday today, so I think you’ll be Grateful you did. :D
A delicious if unlikely prospect buried in an LATimes article about temporary NFL stadiums:
how delicious would it be for the raiders to fk up the angels turf for 2 months
And for some other fanbases to hear the HAHA YOU HAVE STRIPES ON YOUR FIELD crap…
Welcome to Wednesday and a charter member of the “100 Greatest Bootlegs Ever” list, recorded in New Jersey 40 years ago tonight. Blog with us now for some serious Sabotage… a complete concert starring Metal motivators BLACK SABBATH, captured in crystal cocaine splendor from the mixing desk and remastered by legendary audio boffin “thir13een” on their infamous 1975 American tour.
oh go ahead. go ahead, buffy S5:E16. go ahead and make me bawl for 44 minutes for the umpteenth fucking time. it’s not like i’ll ever get used to this subjectively storytold rendering of the saddest day in anybody’s life.
I had to go read the plot summary, which only served to remind me how much I hated Dawn.
she’s totally annoying. always falling for the sister competition/attention crap when the universe is about to collapse.
Yeah, but, Michelle Trachtenberg.
I read somewhere that she was only supposed to be a tiny arc, but then the cast & crew liked the actress so much the kept her around. So I wish that girl had been a total a-hole.
that makes me feel better, I guess.
terrible character.
‘pon watching a few more episodes pondering why she sucks so bad, it’s like they wrote a 10-yr-old character and gave it to a 15-yr-old actress.
Bright Moments is when you realize it’s Friday when it’s already almost Saturday. Bright moments is shit the record companies can’t keep up with so we have to. Bright moments is seeing how many horns you can cram into your mouth and still keep playing. Bright moments is 50 minutes, in color, of the 1972 Montreux Jazz Festival, starring the most unique and astonishing birthday boy in full flight. Bright Moments is Rahsaan Roland Kirk, born this day in 1935.
I got a sweet pair of new sneakers today:
Those look good!
I also went out to see a pretty fun Oakland band.
i’m not riding back
to uptown for a while.
though i long for beer
at drake’s to help me smile.
i’m a half-mile away
from another helicopter night.
no, i don’t believe
i’ll be sleeping very tight.
think i’ll scroll another “new results” through the feed.
i feel able to be underwhelmed by any tweet.
though my feet aren’t on the ground,
i’ve been cursing at the sound
of some pre-determined people
all around.
I can’t sleep so I thought I’d come in here and talk about campaign finance reform.
Hey Kay.
The plot holes in this lounge are really making it hard for me to follow the overall story.
So what do yo keep on the cloud?
A. Food recipes
B. Porn
C. Food Related Porn
D. All the above
Anytime I see an American flag at half staff I just assume Gerald Ford has died again.
I havent read everything yet, but with you mentioning Gerald Ford and a dead again joke, if you dont have some commentary on what exactly the hell happened to Chevy Chase I will be very disappointed.
Wasnt Chevy like one of the funniest guys around at one point? Wasnt he actually funny at one point? God, I know becoming a star can go to your head and everything but the guy coulodnt find a joke anymore if he had Redd Foxx and Henny Youngman as sherpas..
rock star? not sure he ever reached that level where everything he touches is gold. sure, SNL and immediately following it looked like a good start, even with the pain killers (though pain killers are so not rock star drugs! see: belushi.). and his movie career is just as riddled with pain inducers as with warmovers and, yes, the occasional wowza: caddyshack to under the rainbow to modern problems (bwah-ha-ha, i liiiiike it!) to vacation to deal of the century to fletch to euro vacation to spies like us (sorry to dig this out of our collective suppressed memory) to 3 amigos [coughs sideways] and so on. can you even name something he’s done since 2000? i had to look it up.
hm. maybe there are rock stars and there are rocks stars. which one is chase?
belushi, a typical arc, early top hits fueled the burnout-not-fade-away. murray, early hits, some iffy concept albums in the middle to get that urge out, refound himself, still on world tour. chase, he’s playing the moutain winery later this year. probably a tuesday night.
I said not of rock star. But I think your comparison is dead on.
Chevy was a big deal early on. It was thought he was all SNL was in the beginning. And those early films were usually considered good stuff (nominated for a Golden Globe for foul play!)
But yeah, I would say even 2000 is generous. I may be able to name movies he has been in since Christmas Vacation, but I cant name any that were good. And I know this will anger some folks, but I think Christmas Vacation even is overrated. I would rather watch A Christmas Story and The Ref for my holiday chuckles.
i don’t know where i added rock from. maybe i sublimi-periphe-read r(edf)oxx in the line below?
The PGA Championship was a little anti-climatic today. I really thought they’d give us more of a show to honor Gerald Ford’s passing.
Speaking of Gerald Ford and food related porn…I bought a pair of New Balance sneakers today.
Quick Question…Did you ever see the movie The Quick and The Dead?
Quick Question…What team did Mike Quick play for?
Nestle Quik Question…Chocolate or Strawberry?
Would you rather get in a sword fight with Zorro or a fistfight with Rocky…or third choice…a debate on whether or not Poland is under the control of the Soviet Union with Gerald Ford?
I sure wish at least one of my ex’s lived in Texas.
The dog just told me he wants to become a vegetarian…he also told me I must kill the neighbors…he sure likes to talk a lot.
I guess in the end video really didn’t kill the radio star.
Speaking of talking dogs, video killers of radio stars, ex’s in Texas, and Gerald Ford becoming a vegetarian…One of my favorite 90’s songs is Black Hole Sun.
Howdy Oz
On the bright side, I had both Kalua pig and Mahi Mahi today.
My whole world is on the bright side…mainly due to my sun glasses breaking.
Have you given any thought to your 4th of July plans yet?
Have you given any thought to how much you’re going to leave me in your will?
I was thinking I’d set up a trust that paid you $1 per comment.
WooHoo!….I’m gonna be rich!
I really need to get to sleep…I wonder if Hilary Clinton is giving a speech on CSPAN?
GO MARTIN WEBB…or is that JIM O”MALLEY…I can never remember.
Have you given any thought to opening up a reverse mortgage?
Have you given any thought to getting your vestigial tail removed?
Just remember in the game of life always bet on Yahtzee.
I wonder if Stevie Wonder ever did a cover of I wear my sunglasses at night?
This Stevie Wonder is blind joke was brought to you by the year 1984.
Except that he’s not really blind.
Hmm….that’s the first time I’ve read that conspiracy theory before…that really was the perfect article to read at 2 in the morning…thanks, FSU.
The site just said I was posting too quickly….everybody is a fucking critic these days.
Have you given any thought to saving yourself for marriage?
sometimes i think i shoulda saved myself from marriage.
According to the news the entire state of California is on fire and it hasn’t rained since 1978. Also according to the news Gerald Ford is still dead due to his change to a vegetarian diet…video also assisted in his death.
Chest pains are a sign of good things to come…right?
Have you given any thought as dressing up as Robert Wagner for Halloween?
me? i’m max. and when they met, it was murrrrder.
ASVD
I assume the new X-Files will involve Mulder and Scully getting behind the AARP conspiracy of taking over the world.
The site is running slow for me…it must be all the traffic.
It’s hard to believe it’s already 2007.
There have now been a trilogy of Terminator movies that were supposed to be the first movie of a trilogy.
Have you given any thought of naming your next child Merv?
If baldness ran in my gene pool I’d consider naming a son Marv, to promote proper toupee use.
YESSSS!!!
I’m thinking about naming my new store Kool Krazy Karpets.
Pecan cinnamon rolls make me believe in the power of Jesus.
I always keep my Swiss Army Knife handy just in case I have to defuse a bomb.
I became a Mormon mainly to drink coffee.
I’d like to become a Mormon just so I could leave the faith and then be known as a “Jack Mormon,” a term I’ve always liked.
In my faith one of the highest callings is to be called Jack Del Rio.
Ironically, in this faith the Anti-Christ is called Hue Jackson.
Hue Jackson: He’s like rain on your wedding day. He’s the good advice that you just can’t take.
Have you given any thought to starting a pyramid scheme?
I figure, why take all the risk of starting my own when I can get in on one that’s already successful?
For a place with fewer than 200,000 people here are a staggering number of churches on the Big Island.
I’ve only been on the big island once. Of course for me it really doesn’t matter which island I’m on since I really only want to be in the water.
Anybody interested in buying some Mike + The Mechanics singles on tape? They include some hard to find B-Sides.
I wore my A’s hat today…nobody seemed to notice.
Have you given any thought to returning Nico’ s email request?
The smart Raider fan never buys any team merchandise that has a cities name on it.
When I saw Jason Day cry today I thought to myself what a (the rest of this comment has been redacted)
I have an Ace of Base song stuck in my head…suicide seems to be the only solution.
Favorite salad dressing?
Hello sirbed.
Have you given any thought to what odd thing I should compare Courtney Love with next?
I don’t want to get all meta here but…the A’s really need to find a longterm solution at second base.
To keep himself hip with the younger generation KU’s basketball coach has changed his name to Bill Selfie.
Okay, these are getting bad even for me…it might be time to stop.
Have you given any thought to what you’re going to say at Gerald Ford’s funeral?
I love you all…yes, even you.
What a narcissist with multiple personality disorder says to himself.
Remember.
For some reason I dont like it when I talk to the hiring manager and he goes out of his way 3 times to tell me “you know, we work a LOT of hours here…”