Gio + Cunningham for Kouzmanoff+1 or Hairston + 2 for Kouzmanoff or this one apparently is true Kouzmanoff + minor leaguer for Hairston and Cunningham ← FREE KRAUT!

Gio + Cunningham for Kouzmanoff+1 or Hairston + 2 for Kouzmanoff or this one apparently is true Kouzmanoff + minor leaguer for Hairston and Cunningham 148

http://www.mlbtraderumors.com/2010/01/athletics-to-acquire-kevin-kouzmanoff.html
pending physicals, sez “source close to the Padres.

Gio + Cunningham is probably generically better, but the A’s need a 3B… Kouzmanoff is pretty much an exactly league average player. Should definitely improve the team for 2010-11…
I don’t mind giving up Cunningham, but I mind giving up Gio moderately-to-a-lot.

Slusser sezThe A’s acquire Kouzmanoff and give up Scott Hairston….who came from the Padres last year. Two other players involved, trying to confirm
that would be better! Maybe!

148 thoughts on “Gio + Cunningham for Kouzmanoff+1 or Hairston + 2 for Kouzmanoff or this one apparently is true Kouzmanoff + minor leaguer for Hairston and Cunningham

  1. mikeA Jan 15,2010 4:19 pm
  2. mikeA Jan 15,2010 4:20 pm

    An ** commenter hilariously reacted to this with “Chavez must still be hurting.”

    • Leopold Bloom Jan 15,2010 4:27 pm || Up

      is he still hurt?!

      • nevermoor Jan 15,2010 4:50 pm || Up

        He’s in the _____ shape of his life!

        "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 15,2010 5:04 pm || Up

      One of you more practiced rosterbators please evaluate this comment from sfgate A’s dude vk:

      “Kouzmanoff has never played shortstop. Why is this important? It means someone else (presumably Aaron Miles) is the backup SS — and that means there are 13 sure position players and there is no room on the roster for Eric Chavez. Will they try to buy out his contract or DFA him and eat the money the way the D-backs are doing with Byrnes?”

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • monkeyball Jan 15,2010 5:12 pm || Up

        Well, Fox and Chavez are redundant at this point.

        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
      • nevermoor Jan 15,2010 5:13 pm || Up

        Starting 9: Cust, Suzuki, Barton, Ellis, Pennington, Kouz, Crisp, Davis, Sweeney

        Bench: Powell, Chavez, Miles, Patterson, Fox

        That’s one too many bench players, but it isn’t obvious you cut Chavez instead of Patterson or Fox. It also isn’t obvious you worry until Chavez is healthy on opening day.

        "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
      • andeux Jan 15,2010 5:17 pm || Up

        I’m not so sure.
        There’s the starting nine (Barton, Ellis, Pennington, Kouzmanoff, Crisp, Davis, Sweeney, Cust, Suzuki).
        Definitely need another catcher (Powell) and middle infielder (probably Miles, otherwise Petit).

        That leaves two more spots for Fox (RH 1B/3B/DH/OF), Buck (LH OF), and Chavez (LH cripple).
        Fox looks like the most useful of those three. Buck is probably more useful than Chavez at this point, so what vk is suggesting is probably what they should do, but given that neither would play much anyway, I can still see Chavez being on the roster until he goes back on the DL.

        TINSTAAFK
        • andeux Jan 15,2010 5:33 pm || Up

          Oh yeah, Patterson. It’s not clear if he or Buck is vk’s 13th “sure” position player. I think he’s out of options, but I can see him getting traded for some C prospect at the end of spring training to some team that needs a utility guy.

          TINSTAAFK
  3. mikeA Jan 15,2010 4:26 pm

    Now mlbtr says “Cunningham and another player,” but Cunningham + Hairston doesn’t make too much sense.

  4. mikeA Jan 15,2010 4:28 pm
    • monkeyball Jan 15,2010 4:29 pm || Up

      Yeah, that is a good deal.

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • andeux Jan 15,2010 4:42 pm || Up

      Definitely good. I don’t know about great. We’re still giving up two (potentially) average(ish) players for one. But as you say above we have about 8 OFers in that category, and badly need one at 3B*, so it certainly makes sense. Kouzmanoff is under control for three more years, which should be plenty of time to figure out if Cardenas will be good or make alternate plans.

      * CHONE thinks Fox is good, projecting him as +7 offense and -1 defense, but I think both of those have to be too optimistic given that he’s never been a full time player.

      TINSTAAFK
      • mikeA Jan 15,2010 4:58 pm || Up

        -1 defense at 3B is just crazy. He never played it before last year, was bad last year, and everyone who has seen him hates his defense.

        • nevermoor Jan 15,2010 5:05 pm || Up

          Regression to the mean: statistically right, obviously wrong.

          "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • nevermoor Jan 15,2010 4:51 pm || Up

      Holy mother of maybe-they’ll-let-Buck-play-sometimes!

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
      • grover Jan 16,2010 1:27 pm || Up

        Nah. Coco, Rajai and Ryan get first dibs, Cust and Fox get the left overs. Taylor’s waiting in AAA for an opportunity and Carter is already on the 40 man.

        • nevermoor Jan 18,2010 10:32 pm || Up

          Party pooper

          "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  5. monkeyball Jan 15,2010 4:36 pm

    Now that’s what I call surprise progress!

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  6. nevermoor Jan 15,2010 4:52 pm

    I don’t understand why they want Hairston and Cunningham (who I won’t miss at all). Is it bad of me to wonder if the prospect is Gallagher?

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  7. JediLeroy Jan 15,2010 5:10 pm

    Man, thejd is a douche.

    az di bobe volt gehat beytsim volt zi geven mayn zeyde
    • monkeyball Jan 15,2010 5:14 pm || Up

      That may be, but he’s right that Kouz basically equals H2N3 (better hitter, worse fielder)

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
      • monkeyball Jan 15,2010 5:16 pm || Up

        … but boy is he wrong on Cunningham.

        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
        • nevermoor Jan 15,2010 5:22 pm || Up

          WITNESS THE TROOFUGH THAT IS CUNNINGHAM!

          "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
        • monkeyball Jan 15,2010 5:23 pm || Up

          … but not nearly as (not-quite-entertainingly) wrong as Kr@ZeEkapSD00d

          you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
          • mjdittmer Jan 15,2010 5:49 pm || Up

            this chatter of yours almost makes me want to go lurk at **

            • nevermoor Jan 15,2010 6:01 pm || Up

              Meh. I just decided to bow out of the thread.

              ** is hazardous to my mental health.

              "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
          • doctorK Jan 16,2010 7:10 pm || Up

            Kr@ZekapSD00d’s ** handle just about causes me to have a seizure every time I see it. Even worse is the nonsense he spouts out.

  8. andeux Jan 15,2010 6:07 pm

    Prospect is Eric Sogard. 23-year-old 2B, in AA last year. Sickels says C+.

    TINSTAAFK
  9. whiteshoes40 Jan 15,2010 8:57 pm

    Whoa. So Kouzmanoff is good, eh? At least we seem to have a real 3B now.

    I liked Cunningham, but he didn’t really fit, unless we started using outfielders in every position. Hairston, meh, hardly knew ya. He seemed to like San Diego anyway.

  10. nevermoor Jan 15,2010 11:05 pm

    After considerable thought, I like this trade.

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 15,2010 11:14 pm || Up

      After significantly less thought, me too. Dealing from an area of surplus to fill a huge need in 2010 and beyond…unless you’re one of the eight people who sees Richie Cunningham as a future All Star, I don’t see what’s not to like.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • Poppy Jan 16,2010 1:05 pm || Up

        After only one thought (“GIO?! Noooo! Wait, what? No? Okay!”), I also like this trade.

        There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
        • oblique Jan 17,2010 10:11 am || Up

          My sentiments exactly.

          • Poppy Jan 17,2010 12:06 pm || Up

            Gio is in line to be my favorite player after MaEl leaves, even if he sucks.

            There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
            • Poppy Jan 17,2010 12:07 pm || Up

              (my favorite *A*, that is… I’m not going to abandon Mark just because he’ll no longer be in green & gold)

              There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
              • oblique Jan 17,2010 12:17 pm || Up

                Hadn’t thought about it, but probably right on. He’s intellectual about his craft, and has at least shown the potential to be spectacular at it.

                I will need a favorite position player for the days when he’s not pitching, though.

                • monkeyball Jan 17,2010 12:35 pm || Up

                  I’d take Braden over Gio, easy. Heck, Braden’s probably neck-and-neck with Suzuki for my #2. Gio’d be somewhere below Bailey, Zig, and Ellis.

                  you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
                • andeux Jan 17,2010 12:42 pm || Up

                  For me Suzuki is the easy choice among current position players (after Ellis). And I’m hoping Carter and Taylor will be awesome.
                  Among the pitchers, Duke-shire, Anderson, Braden. I don’t really get the Gio love. I don’t dislike him, but I generally find pitchers with poor control really frustrating to watch.

                  TINSTAAFK
                • Poppy Jan 17,2010 3:13 pm || Up

                  You need to remember that my “favorite player” award generally gives at least equal weight to nonbaseball stuff that I just like.

                  “Gio, he wants to save everybody,” Dager said. “He can meet you today and he wants to try to help you. There’s a bum in Hialeah and Gio is his best friend – everyone who sees him has to give him money and food because of Gio. He goes over and above.”

                  Gonzalez said the man is named Joe and he said he’s always tried to help him out when he can.

                  “Whatever’s in my pockets, whatever is in the car – I can have $10 bucks and be starving, but I think, ‘Well, I have a home I can go to,’ so I give it to him,” Gonzalez said. “I’ve told everyone if they pass Joe under the bridge at 103rd, make sure to give him money or food or books, because he loves to read.”

                  There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
                • oblique Jan 18,2010 10:00 am || Up

                  Ah, good call on Suzuki.

                • nevermoor Jan 18,2010 10:33 pm || Up

                  Craig Paquette.

                  "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
                • monkeyball Jan 19,2010 8:03 am || Up

                  Craig Paquette, what poor control

                  you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • grover Jan 16,2010 1:33 pm || Up

      I should like this trade more than I do. I really don’t like Kouzmanoff’s bat but readily admit that he’s a legit, solid-average starting caliber 3B. I’m not upset about losing Cunningham and Hairston. Sogard’s bestest quality is that he’ll be Sac’s starting 2B and he doesn’t have to be on the 40 man roster, meaning the A’s are at 39.

      So why did that little warning light kick on in the secondary systems screen?

      • monkeyball Jan 16,2010 1:54 pm || Up

        Maybe you’re running low on oil?

        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
        • grover Jan 16,2010 2:00 pm || Up

          Low tire pressure?

          • Poppy Jan 16,2010 2:10 pm || Up

            I think one of your passengers forgot to fasten his/her seat belt. Drive carefully.

            There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
            • grover Jan 16,2010 2:25 pm || Up

              Thank you. Think I’ll pull over and double check my son’s seat belt.

              • monkeyball Jan 16,2010 3:06 pm || Up

                {gasp}

                Kouzmanoff unbuckled it!

                you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
                • grover Jan 16,2010 3:56 pm || Up

                  Damn him. Excuse me while I go find a pair of pliers and a blow torch.

                  You were eagerly anticipating the return of Eric Chavez to 3B, weren’t you?

                • monkeyball Jan 16,2010 4:00 pm || Up

                  Yes.

                  To unit #3B in his gated Scottsdale retirement community.

                  you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
                • batgirl Jan 16,2010 4:04 pm || Up

                  You think you could keep us out of Florida Arizona? We’re moving in lock, stock and barrel. We’re gonna be in the pool. We’re gonna be in the clubhouse. We’re gonna be all over that shuffleboard court! And I dare you to keep me out!

                • monkeyball Jan 16,2010 4:10 pm || Up

                  Del Beanea Vista

                  you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
                • Leopold Bloom Jan 16,2010 5:17 pm || Up

                  boccie ball?

                • grover Jan 16,2010 4:20 pm || Up

                  Oops.

                  We’ll have to work around that.

  11. monkeyball Jan 16,2010 6:40 pm

    Hunh.

    A’s general manager Billy Beane addressed the possibility of having both Kouzmanoff and Chavez at third by saying, “If Eric is able to come back, that will be a good problem to have.”

    I gotta think that’s (on top of the 63 third-base acqs) quasi-official confirmation Chavez is done.

    Also: Miles? Not the backup SS.

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • Leopold Bloom Jan 16,2010 6:47 pm || Up

      When Beane gives up, he’s done.

    • batgirl Jan 17,2010 1:34 pm || Up

      Beane suggested that Chavez is athletic and versatile enough to also play other spots and when I asked where he was thinking, he mentioned first and potentially the outfield.

      1st, short, and now the outfield?!

      If he’s able to come back, we’re gonna use him all over the field. Hell, I’m not even sure why we need a backup catcher on the roster!

      • monkeyball Jan 17,2010 1:36 pm || Up

        Remember Marco Scutaro, starting LF?

        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
      • nevermoor Jan 18,2010 10:34 pm || Up

        Question: How much would he have to suck to not be usable as a backup SS?

        "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  12. mjdittmer Jan 16,2010 11:45 pm

    Snob. Seriously.

    I’m also not the audience for late-night talk shows. In some abstract sense, I guess I prefer to live in a world where viewers prefer high-middlebrow gag sketches and marginally smarter interviews with celebrities

    • monkeyball Jan 17,2010 8:55 am || Up

      Does that make Leno Saddam Hussein? So the further lesson of that is that Leno, as menacing as he seems, is actually relatively harmless (except to the people in his immediate vicinity) and “contained” in late night. Giving Leno the 10:00 slot, though, was the equivalent of Rumsfeld’s sub rosa Regan-era diplomatic visit (or perhaps the tacit Bush I-Clinton OK for him to gas the Kurds?).

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  13. mjdittmer Jan 17,2010 12:52 am

    SF Press Club Blog News
    * Good old Mark Ibanez
    * Newsrooms I worked in generally regarded Dean Singleton as the Grim Reaper helping to bring about the death of the newspaper industry, but who knows, maybe he still has a chance to lead journalism into some new, useful form? This from his letter to Media News Group employees, just after MNG declared bankruptcy, albeit in a very gentle way.

    Even as the newspaper environment has badly deteriorated over the past three years, you can be proud that MediaNews has outperformed the industry as a whole.

    I think all of us believe, with good reason, that a financially viable and independent free press is imperative for our country’s democracy.

    * Also, the San Jose Merc, one of MNG’s Bay Area outlets, reports on the bankruptcy while studiously avoiding the word bankruptcy, placing the news on the bottom corner of the Business page.

    • Leopold Bloom Jan 17,2010 6:03 am || Up

      Financially viable comes before independent…at least he’s an honest grim reaper.

      • monkeyball Jan 17,2010 8:48 am || Up

        Independent and out of business ain’t “independent.”

        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
        • Leopold Bloom Jan 17,2010 11:07 am || Up

          In business because of concessions made to certain factions ain’t independent either.

  14. grover Jan 17,2010 9:00 am

    This could be a problem.

    Forgive me for linking to an Urban article, but permanent nerve damage in the foot that is affecting one’s balance can’t be good for the ol’ pitching motion.

    Does this fall under the “A’s medical staff is incompetent” or the “sometimes it just sucks to be you” category?

    • monkeyball Jan 17,2010 9:55 am || Up

      Well, in this individual case, we can’t know, but … in context …

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
      • grover Jan 17,2010 10:38 am || Up

        Do we start worrying about Braden’s long term health? He’s already had shoulder problems once before, maybe the A’s need to start looking to trade him before he goes kablooie.

        • monkeyball Jan 17,2010 12:36 pm || Up

          I doubt he’s got any trade value right now. Maybe midseason, or, likelier, a year from now.

          you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  15. monkeyball Jan 17,2010 9:57 am

    Question for people who read scouting report-type things and have paid any real attention to Kouzmanoff: Any chance that he’s Crosby 2.0? Decent rookie year, declining O production since with poor peripherals/discipline, meh-to-decent D …

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • grover Jan 17,2010 10:36 am || Up

      He’s been a lot healthier than Crosby (so maybe he’s luckier than bitch boy) and the power is real. The defense is solid. As I recall a lot of people would have been happy with a healthy Crosby, even one who’s bat was suspect.

      The big difference is the contract status. Kouzmanoff isn’t likely to put up the kind of offensive numbers that nets him a big payday via arbitration, meaning the A’s have little incentive to guarantee him money for the next 3 years. Going year-to-year buys them an escape route that we all wish the A’s had had with Crosby.

      So Crosby 2.0 could be an accurate player-type comp but it’s doubtful that Kouzmanoff would ever be the same kind of sunk cost/stone-around-the-neck that Crosby was for the A’s.

      I’m starting to think that Kouzmanoff is a 1 year stop-gap with the bonus of 2 (relatively) team controlled option years.

      • monkeyball Jan 17,2010 12:39 pm || Up

        Any chance his power is an NL mirage? If he chases sliders like Crosby and Byrnes … basically, Pedro Feliz w/not nearly as good D …

        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
        • andeux Jan 17,2010 12:46 pm || Up

          Petco is one of the worst HR parks in the majors, even more so than the Coliseum.

          TINSTAAFK
          • sslinger Jan 17,2010 2:39 pm || Up

            Yeah, I was thinking that should more than outweigh the NL factor.

            • grover Jan 17,2010 4:51 pm || Up

              I tend to agree.

              • nevermoor Jan 18,2010 10:36 pm || Up

                So do the park adjustments… don’t they?

                "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • mikeA Jan 18,2010 12:01 am || Up

      He’s 2004 Crosby. Crosby would have been fine if he hadn’t lost all his power.

  16. andeux Jan 17,2010 12:43 pm

    Man, I like watching Brett Favre.
    Man, I hate listening to Joe Buck.

    TINSTAAFK
    • doctorK Jan 17,2010 1:29 pm || Up

      I’m still trying to figure out why Buck thought the Vikings would accept a penalty on themselves and force the Cowboys to punt with the ball 5 yards farther away from the end zone.

    • sslinger Jan 17,2010 2:37 pm || Up

      I will continue hating Brett Favre right up until the point where he leads the Vikes to a Super Bowl win. Which I hope he does. Then he’ll be my favoritest quarterback ever (sorry Fran & Joe.)

    • nevermoor Jan 18,2010 10:37 pm || Up

      BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

      I’ll be rooting lustily for the saints (and a 15 INT game from Brett)

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  17. Leopold Bloom Jan 17,2010 6:58 pm

    I restart the sign shop in the morning.

    • FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 17,2010 7:29 pm || Up

      My condolences. I was hoping to kraut your sausage at a tailgate party this year.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • sslinger Jan 17,2010 7:56 pm || Up

      My condo-lulations – we all want you to be here/be happy, but I know how responsibility and a certain aptitude can work against your instincts. I’m flying to FL tomorrow, too bad it’s not anywhere near Sarasota.

    • Poppy Jan 18,2010 10:24 am || Up

      boooooooo

      There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
      • monkeyball Jan 18,2010 11:52 am || Up

        They’re not booing, they’re chanting “Bloooooooooom.”

        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • green star oakland Jan 18,2010 12:24 pm || Up

      It’s not what Dr King would have wanted.

      If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
  18. FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 17,2010 7:38 pm

    Question prompted by today’s ** lead story (and no, not “can it possibly be that these cartoons are getting less funny?”)

    Which homegrown A’s players has the team actually lost (FA, arbitration-induced trade, etc.) because the team started their service clocks early? This delicate timing question always seems to me to be a hypothetical which never turns out to actually matter. I may be wrong, of course, and my perception may be tainted by my belief that a bird on the 25-man roster is worth like a dozen birds in the bush leagues (ie, prospects wash out way too regularly for me to invest much hope in them).

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • monkeyball Jan 17,2010 8:50 pm || Up

      Questions … Morphology? Longevity? Incept dates?

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
      • Poppy Jan 18,2010 10:32 am || Up

        Accelerated decrepitude.

        There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
        • monkeyball Jan 18,2010 11:53 am || Up

          I wonder how many questions it took Beane to tell that Chavvy was a replicant injured.

          you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
          • Leopold Bloom Jan 18,2010 2:58 pm || Up

            Beane: You see a picture of Crosby. He’s naked, with a image of Sal Bando covering his johnson and nut sack. What do you do?
            Chavez: Is it pre-2004?

    • andeux Jan 18,2010 11:23 am || Up

      Theoretically, if certain players (Swisher and Street, maybe also Blanton and Haren) had had less service time, they would have been cheaper, meaning the A’s might have been less inclined to trade them, and they would have had more surplus value remaining, meaning that when the A’s did trade them they might have gotten slightly more in return.

      But despite that, I agree with you that it makes more sense just to promote a player who’s ready for the majors than to play games with their service time worrying about what will happen 6 years later.

      TINSTAAFK
  19. mjdittmer Jan 18,2010 9:59 am

    Happy MLK Day. You can tell Dr. King was in that Birmingham jail for longer than just a couple of hours–he was there long enough to write this long-ass letter.

  20. mjdittmer Jan 18,2010 10:08 am

    Old white guys speak out: Biden and Bush

  21. the dogfather Jan 18,2010 11:42 am

    Hey boyzengrilkrauts: Ima be goin’ to Reno. Just accepted an offer to be Associate Director of Nevada Humane Society. They are one of the premier animal welfare organizations in the country, having achieved roughly 90% “save” rates for both sheltered dogs and cats in 2009. I have a Lot to learn there. By contrast, CCC is stuck at 65% and Oakland is at 40%, up from next-to-nil a few years ago. Sue’s going with me, fool-for-love that I’m grateful she is.

    Anyone so inclined is invited to continue contributing to our local economy. Upon your return for home, I can arrange for you to be trailed by twenty hounds.

    And GO, uh, (who the fuck?) … Aces!

    The meaning of life is not so much found, as it is Made. -- Opus
    • batgirl Jan 18,2010 11:45 am || Up

      That is awesome!! Congrats!

    • monkeyball Jan 18,2010 11:56 am || Up

      One area where “saves” are definitely not an overrated/meaningless stat. Oakland’s that low, eh? Guess Chavvy’s only got a couple weeks left to have his picture up on PetFinder …

      Congrats!

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
      • the dogfather Jan 18,2010 12:26 pm || Up

        Ack — I was wrong — 40% is the kill rate, so they really have come a Long way. recent ‘gate article.

        The meaning of life is not so much found, as it is Made. -- Opus
        • green star oakland Jan 18,2010 1:04 pm || Up

          From the article, (i) the Oakland shelter must accept all animals, including problem animals from private shelters with “zero-euthanasia” policies (which is a pretty lame way of honoring such a policy IMHO), and (ii) almost all the euthanized animals are those deemed too sick or aggressive to be adopted.

          Are these conditions true of public shelters in general? And do the criteria for (ii) depend on local adoption patterns – i.e. would the same animal have a better chance of adoption outside of Oakland and hence not be deemed “too” sick/aggressive?

          If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
          • the dogfather Jan 18,2010 1:45 pm || Up

            Yeah — Washoe County keeps one set of numbers, which rolls-up to the 90% save rate. County Animal cops do the stray intake and Humane, in the same building, takes surrenders, and rehabs and adopts ’em all out, together with a local SPCA and some Rescues who get first dibs. So in this case, smoke and mirrors are minimized. Selective admissions shelters give “no-kill” a bad name.

            And your properly cynical self has also identified the problem when you start at less than 100% on the intake side. Difficult animals too easily become “unadoptables” –whose deaths don’t count in the record. It’s hard to be honest in this business, but methinks you just have to start with 100% admissions, and have only one goal — zero deaths. You don’t ever expect to reach the goal, as there really are a few “irremediably suffering” animals for whom death is a blessed release, and a few vicious dogs that have been ruined and should not be adopted-out for public safety reasons, but the asymptote is probably somewhere around 95-6%, with some statistical variation.

            I think they want me to help achieve current numbers less heroically, and to see how high we can push that asymptote.

            The meaning of life is not so much found, as it is Made. -- Opus
            • monkeyball Jan 18,2010 4:39 pm || Up

              Christ, what a Washoe

              you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
            • nevermoor Jan 18,2010 10:40 pm || Up

              In former soviet union, the asymptote pushes you.

              "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • green star oakland Jan 18,2010 12:24 pm || Up

      An excellent counterpoint to Leopold’s news – congratulations.

      If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
    • mk Jan 18,2010 12:25 pm || Up

      What factor would you say contributes most crucially to high save rates? The ability to keep the animals around longer before putting them down (space, staff, what have you)? The community’s enthusiasm for adoption/level of disposable income? Outreach? Something else?

      • the dogfather Jan 18,2010 1:16 pm || Up

        Great Q — I think it’s outreach — they’ve gone from 30 volunteers and no foster program in 2006 to 3000 volunteers and 900 available fosters. Obviously, they don’t command an army that size from day-to-day, but there’s a mostly-latent pet-positive spirit in every community — they’ve tapped into it deeply. They’ve also made the shelter into a bustling “lifely” adoption center, instead of a death camp that folks are afraid to visit. Doom and Sara MacLachlan songs evoke sympathy, but not adoptions — we’re in the used-pet bidness. Bonney Brown, to whom I’ll report, has a retailing background, and she’s really good at movin’ the inventory.

        Much longer answer would involve analyzing a pretty simple flow through the shelter — you try to reduce the intake side (spay-neuter, dog catchers with wands to ID micro-chipped strays and take ’em home(!), good breed adoption counseling, trap/neuter/return for feral cats, etc.) and increase the options on the outbound side. They have an adoption promotion for everything — one guy wrote to complain that they’d even sullied the Superbowl and asked: “what’s next — Arbor Day?” So, they contacted a plant nursery, and yeah, that was next. They also have a barn-cat program billed as non-toxic vermin control (rodents have a lousy lobby). Lotsa barns around Reno.

        I think there’s also just a mindset — when the killing option is off-the-table, you get creative.

        The meaning of life is not so much found, as it is Made. -- Opus
    • Poppy Jan 18,2010 1:43 pm || Up

      Who’s a good dogfather? Who’s a good dogfather? YOU are, that’s right! Goooooooood dogfather!

      There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
      • the dogfather Jan 18,2010 1:53 pm || Up

        /

        The meaning of life is not so much found, as it is Made. -- Opus
        • Leopold Bloom Jan 18,2010 3:00 pm || Up

          you’re not allowed to wear pants in Reno?! What kind of messed up law is that?!

          BTW, I HATE FUCKING SIGNS!

          • the dogfather Jan 18,2010 3:23 pm || Up

            Then don’t.

            The meaning of life is not so much found, as it is Made. -- Opus
            • Leopold Bloom Jan 18,2010 4:16 pm || Up

              sorry.

              I fucking hate signs.

              • the dogfather Jan 18,2010 4:27 pm || Up

                So, you don’t hate fucking signs?

                The meaning of life is not so much found, as it is Made. -- Opus
                • Leopold Bloom Jan 18,2010 4:37 pm || Up

                  No, that part’s quite nice. With the right substrate, I mean.

                • andeux Jan 18,2010 4:42 pm || Up

                  So you fucking hate signs. But you like hate-fucking signs.

                  TINSTAAFK
                • Leopold Bloom Jan 18,2010 4:52 pm || Up

                  I wouldn’t exactly call it a hate-fucking. Sure, I’m angry, but I’m ALWAYS angry, so it’s more of a normal fucking.

                • monkeyball Jan 18,2010 4:59 pm || Up

                  I think the Scientists prefer to call that “baseline fucking.”

                  you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
                • Leopold Bloom Jan 18,2010 5:12 pm || Up

                  fucking stat geeks.

                • the dogfather Jan 18,2010 5:45 pm || Up

                  That would be salb, by all reports.

                  The meaning of life is not so much found, as it is Made. -- Opus
                • Leopold Bloom Jan 18,2010 6:12 pm || Up

                  um…got anybody else?

    • green star oakland Jan 18,2010 4:12 pm || Up

      Your new workplace awaits …

      If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
      • the dogfather Jan 18,2010 4:26 pm || Up

        Then they’d have to euthanize me.

        It’s actually more like this: — even over there, it’s pittie city.

        The meaning of life is not so much found, as it is Made. -- Opus
        • monkeyball Jan 18,2010 5:00 pm || Up

          Now those got JP’s “OO! OO! OO! OO!”

          you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
          • andeux Jan 18,2010 5:03 pm || Up

            Poor kid’s going to end up a Cleveland Browns fan.

            TINSTAAFK
          • the dogfather Jan 18,2010 5:08 pm || Up

            Got a million of ’em — how many you want?

            The meaning of life is not so much found, as it is Made. -- Opus
      • monkeyball Jan 18,2010 4:43 pm || Up

        Sure sign of how girly those are: JP got excited, pointed out them, and said KITTYCAT! KITTYCAT! MYOW!

        (Dogs, recognizable as such, get his approximation of “woof woof!” — which is more akin to a gorilla sound … for some reason …)

        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • doctorK Jan 18,2010 4:26 pm || Up

      Great news on the new position, dogfather. And thanks for the nice words last year at our year-end ** tailgate.

    • monkeyball Jan 18,2010 4:40 pm || Up

      I adopted a dog in Reno/Just to watch him not die

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
      • Ice Cream Jan 18,2010 4:43 pm || Up

        Nice.

        Where is the good in "good-bye"?
      • the dogfather Jan 18,2010 4:46 pm || Up

        …and that’ll count in your favor,
        When your
        ……………….ti-
        ………………….ime
        ………………………i
        ……………………….s
        ..
        ..
        …………………………niiiiiiiigh.

        The meaning of life is not so much found, as it is Made. -- Opus
        • Leopold Bloom Jan 18,2010 4:53 pm || Up

          what about when the train with all the rich people goes by?

          • the dogfather Jan 18,2010 5:10 pm || Up

            Why, then there’sa be pants on the ground.

            The meaning of life is not so much found, as it is Made. -- Opus
    • nevermoor Jan 18,2010 10:43 pm || Up

      Congrats dude, excellent news.

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  22. monkeyball Jan 18,2010 5:24 pm
    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • green star oakland Jan 18,2010 5:36 pm || Up

      (i) the third vertex should have been Taint.
      (ii) they should have been using this more during the Bush years.

      If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
      • nevermoor Jan 18,2010 10:47 pm || Up

        Did someone say taint?

        "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • the dogfather Jan 18,2010 5:49 pm || Up

      Is he calling us what I think he’s calling us?

      The meaning of life is not so much found, as it is Made. -- Opus
  23. monkeyball Jan 18,2010 5:45 pm

    In college, I played clavichord for The Coakley-Brown Intangibles, and Casio for Massachusetts Model Mayhem.

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come

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