I guess it’s a GRILL – 1/5/10 ← FREE KRAUT!

I guess it’s a GRILL – 1/5/10 197

Point the first Atomic Hot Point, blame mk for any adverse reactions you have to this particular post. Also, abandon hope all ye who enter here for you are entering the empire of the dead. Or, at least, closing in on the french resistance.

Point the second Banger Point, NFL:

Point the third Chorizo Point, politics:

Point the fourth Knackwurst Point, previous FK spat:

  • This seems like a reasonable standard: “a police officer can be held liable for delivering a high-level electric shock to an unarmed person who poses no immediate threat.”

Point the fifth Title Fail Point, hilarity:

And that’s it for me. How do you like me now mk?!?!?

197 thoughts on “I guess it’s a GRILL – 1/5/10

  1. salb918 Jan 5,2010 9:21 am

    needs moar baseball

    • nevermoor Jan 5,2010 9:25 am || Up

      Your job. My reader subscriptions turned up nothing of interest wrt baseball.

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • andeux Jan 5,2010 9:28 am || Up

      needs less niners (non-)news

      TINSTAAFK
      • Leopold Bloom Jan 5,2010 9:38 am || Up

        monkey hates the pigskin, no?

        watch out for flying poo, nm.

        • nevermoor Jan 5,2010 9:48 am || Up

          I do what I want.

          "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
          • Leopold Bloom Jan 5,2010 9:56 am || Up

            You’re an out of control teen.

            You’re going to boot camp.

  2. nevermoor Jan 5,2010 9:26 am

    I honestly can’t believe this point is even controversial. If the GOP was in power, would they actually do this?

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  3. Leopold Bloom Jan 5,2010 9:42 am

    As to point, the fourth Knockwurst…

    Unarmed, poses no threat, and is being pulled over FOR NOT WEARING A SEATBELT.

    I understand the thin blue line and all, but c’mon, Sgt. McGoofy used the taser on the guy who violated seatbelt laws. He probably is not the best cop in the world, no? We should probably do everything we can to make sure he isn’t in a position of authority.

  4. monkeyball Jan 5,2010 9:55 am

    Glib. Too many conditions, too many limitations, not enough enforcement. I’d advocate some sort of modified free agency as in MLB.

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • Leopold Bloom Jan 5,2010 9:58 am || Up

      when are they vested?

    • nevermoor Jan 5,2010 10:14 am || Up

      Just do a draft. As long as Mel Kupier gets involved I’m interested.

      I guess my reaction to that sort of thing is that if you’re pro-life you have to allow some other recourse for children born to parents who simply cannot care for them. Allowing sales has the benefit of satisfying that need and providing money to the parent.

      I don’t believe commercializing those sorts of assets is good (encourages women to have “unwanted” babies, treats babies like property, causes people to stop offering babies for free adoption, etc.), and my reasons seem obvious/compelling enough to me to make ignoring them seem glib, but I’m sure the response would be that these limitations are either outweighed by the benefits or capable of being overcome in implementation.

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
      • mk Jan 5,2010 10:30 am || Up

        I tend to think that most pro-life people would be horrified by such a straightforward commodification of babies, but maybe I’m wrong. I’m actually not sure what the pro-life position is regarding destitute people producing destitute babies.

        • nevermoor Jan 5,2010 10:42 am || Up

          I’m not either, but it seems to follow for me.

          "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
          • mk Jan 5,2010 10:56 am || Up

            I do know that for many (most?) pro-life advocates, those destitute people should definitely not be using condoms. I would think it is especially incumbent upon that particular subset of folks to have a coherent, practical proposition for how to grapple with the destitute baby problem.

            • salb918 Jan 5,2010 11:05 am || Up

              I haven’t heard this one (I might believe “shouldn’t be having sex”). Do you have any more information?

              • mk Jan 5,2010 11:22 am || Up

                If you google “bush abstinence only education” or “Bush AIDS Africa abstinence only”, you will get a lot of stuff. I will try to dig up some specifics later, but there is certainly an overlap (I’ve no idea how significant) between pro-life people and people whose religious views do not abide contraception.

                • sslinger Jan 5,2010 12:05 pm || Up

                  When you dig up the specifics, please provide a Venn diagram with the results.

                • mk Jan 5,2010 12:43 pm || Up

                  First I spend 15 minutes doing research for Sal. Then you force me to waste 10 minutes trying to come up with witty FK-related venn diagram spoofs. It’s a good thing I didn’t think of anything, because it would have taken at least another 15 minutes to mock it up, upload it to photobucket, and post it.

                  If I get fired, you people need to kick in at least 20% of my PB&J and oatmeal expenses for the duration of my unemployment.

                • monkeyball Jan 5,2010 1:57 pm || Up

                  PB&J and oatmeal? Is that with your buttered olive oil chaser?

                  you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
                • Leopold Bloom Jan 5,2010 1:59 pm || Up

                  I bet his poo isn’t flat.

                • mk Jan 5,2010 5:28 pm || Up

                  1. I am not a foodie like the rest of you. When I read those Top Chef discussions, my dominant thought is “these people are insane”. I still have a set of knives I bought at Target years ago. I don’t have partitions in my silverware drawer. I regularly eat oatmeal for dinner. If I manage to steam some vegetables and mix them with rice, that counts as a coup de fucking grace on my scale of culinary achievement. In my refrigerator is a jar of jam, some garlic spread, and what looks like an old scrap of red onion.

                  2. Don’t think I won’t fix that sentence in order to retroactively undermine the logic of your taunts.

                • monkeyball Jan 5,2010 5:34 pm || Up

                  You’re blowing out your carbon footprint there.

                  you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
                • Ice Cream Jan 5,2010 5:45 pm || Up

                  The fridge may be bare but I’ll bet the bookshelf is well-stocked.

                  Where is the good in "good-bye"?
                • monkeyball Jan 5,2010 5:55 pm || Up

                  TWSS

                  you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
                • FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 5,2010 12:46 pm || Up

                  Like this?

                  (from this)

                  "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
                • nevermoor Jan 5,2010 1:08 pm || Up

                  Not Venn, but my favorite graph ever.

                  "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
                • Leopold Bloom Jan 5,2010 1:31 pm || Up

                  I like that one quite a bit, also.

                • sslinger Jan 5,2010 2:03 pm || Up

                  LB, please tell me that’s not a picture of your poo.

                • Leopold Bloom Jan 5,2010 2:08 pm || Up

                  No, mine doesn’t have names.

              • mk Jan 5,2010 12:24 pm || Up

                Good article here.

                John May, a specialist in African demography at the World Bank, says: “Economic and social development is of course the best contraceptive, but contraceptives are also good for development.” When fertility is high and population growth rapid, he adds, instead of a virtuous circle there emerges a vicious one.

                A recent study by his agency argued that demographic factors predicted two-thirds of the shortfall in sub-Saharan Africa’s economic growth compared with other developing regions. The burden of parents looking after their children and the instability of rapidly rising youth unemployment were the main constraints.

                […]

                Defenders of Mr Bush argue that he helped save millions of lives in Africa through a substantial expansion in programmes to treat those with HIV. But these also focused on treatment and on prevention programmes that encouraged abstinence and fidelity at the expense of condom distribution.

                McCain/GOP 2008 platform, re contraception:

                We renew our call for replacing “family planning” programs for teens with increased funding for abstinence education, which teaches abstinence until marriage as the responsible and expected standard of behavior. Abstinence from sexual activity is the only protection that is 100 percent effective against out-of-wedlock pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases, including HIV/AIDS when transmitted sexually. We oppose school-based clinics that provide referrals, counseling, and related services for abortion and contraception.

                I know I’m using GOP policy as a proxy here, but I think it’s reasonable to conclude that plenty of people are both anti-condom and pro-life (regarding contraception, there appears to be a schism dividing the “never okay” and “okay after marriage” camps).

                • salb918 Jan 5,2010 12:33 pm || Up

                  Yeah, I expected that from GOP policy, but I’m still not convinced about people in general.

                • nevermoor Jan 5,2010 12:38 pm || Up

                  Anecdotally, mrs. nevermoor knows a lot of people like that in OK. Also, isn’t it still part of Catholicism (not that every Catholic follows every rule, of course)?

                  "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
                • salb918 Jan 5,2010 12:46 pm || Up

                  I guess I don’t hang out in OK enough.

                • nevermoor Jan 5,2010 1:05 pm || Up

                  Not possible.

                  "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
                • mikeA Jan 5,2010 1:08 pm || Up

                  I heard it was one of the happiest states in the union.

                • Leopold Bloom Jan 5,2010 1:34 pm || Up

                  quite.

                  (/Commander McBragg)

                • nevermoor Jan 5,2010 1:40 pm || Up

                  It’s actually nice, and her family is (largely) in OKC so it isn’t a cow town or anything.

                  Of course, you also see punk kids walking around with confederate flags hanging from their back pocket. So there’s that.

                  "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
                • salb918 Jan 5,2010 2:03 pm || Up

                  I’ve been to Des Moines three times and Cedar Rapids once, and each time I have found it to be extremely pleasant, laid back, and the people over-the-top friendly. If it weren’t so far from my family, and if there were employment opportunities in my field, I’d consider it.

                • Leopold Bloom Jan 5,2010 2:08 pm || Up

                  I’d consider Iowa. I would not consider Oklahoma.

                • salb918 Jan 5,2010 2:22 pm || Up

                  My dad, at age 18, left his home in Pakistan for school in Oklahoma. Talk about culture shock.

                • mk Jan 5,2010 12:56 pm || Up

                  http://www.catholic.com/library/Birth_Control.asp

                  In 1968, Pope Paul VI issued his landmark encyclical letter Humanae Vitae (Latin, “Human Life”), which reemphasized the Church’s constant teaching that it is always intrinsically wrong to use contraception to prevent new human beings from coming into existence.

                  Contraception is “any action which, either in anticipation of the conjugal act [sexual intercourse], or in its accomplishment, or in the development of its natural consequences, proposes, whether as an end or as a means, to render procreation impossible” (Humanae Vitae 14). This includes sterilization, condoms and other barrier methods, spermicides, coitus interruptus (withdrawal method), the Pill, and all other such methods.

                • salb918 Jan 5,2010 1:10 pm || Up

                  But that’s the Pope and the official line of the Catholic church.

                  I guess the questions, perhaps unanswerable, that I have are:

                  – among Americans that use condoms (or another form of birth control), how many support abortion rights?
                  – among Americans that support abortion rights, how many use or have used birth control?

                  And it’s important to me that it’s not folks’ beliefs regarding condoms or birth control, but rather their action. Like I said, potentially unknowable, but the GOP/Catholic proxies just don’t satisfy me.

                • nevermoor Jan 5,2010 1:42 pm || Up

                  All I can offer is anecdotal, but I know people who had a surprise kid b/c pulling out doesn’t work.

                  I would imagine that there’s a significant set of people who are pro-abstinence, anti-contraception, and use condoms, but then I think that about any large enough group with a difficult-to-follow-ethic

                  "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
                • Leopold Bloom Jan 5,2010 1:44 pm || Up

                  If you’re gonna go anecdotal, at least have it involve like a polar bear and a State Trooper or something.

                • monkeyball Jan 5,2010 1:59 pm || Up

                  pulling out doesn’t work

                  That’s also Obama’s Iraq/Afghanistan policy.

                  you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
                • sslinger Jan 5,2010 2:17 pm || Up

                  Also anecdotal, but I’ve had conversations with Catholic Republicans who were equally vehement about supporting the death penalty as they were against abortion. I don’t think that qualifies them as being “pro-life”.

                • Leopold Bloom Jan 5,2010 2:24 pm || Up

                  That would fall drastically outside the beliefs of the church.

                • nevermoor Jan 5,2010 2:26 pm || Up

                  Sure. But the Catholic church itself actually is consistent (as am I, just the other way)

                  "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
                • Leopold Bloom Jan 5,2010 2:33 pm || Up

                  put in those terms, I much more inclined to agree with the Catholics.

                • mk Jan 5,2010 2:15 pm || Up

                  Well, there are ~70 million Catholics in the US. Maybe all of them are lapsed. Maybe every one of the 58 million people who voted for McCain, even those with dual Family Research Council/Christian Coalition memberships, have VIP accounts with Trojan Online.

                  But I think my original remark – “there is certainly an overlap (I’ve no idea how significant) between pro-life people and people whose religious views do not abide contraception” – is on pretty safe ground.

                • salb918 Jan 5,2010 2:23 pm || Up

                  Sure. I would agree with your “many” but am not sure about your “most?”

                • mk Jan 5,2010 2:23 pm || Up

                  And in any event, what you profess (how you vote, who you donate to, etc.) is more important than whether or not you are a hypocrite when the lights are off (or on, as the case may be) in your bedroom, because that is what influences policies vis a vis those destitute people we’re talking about.

                • mk Jan 5,2010 5:32 pm || Up

                  While googling Catholicism earlier, I came across a link that read “Sinead O’Connor calls on Pope to resign”, or some such thing. Which made me think “I used to sort of like Sinead O’Connor when I was young(er) and (even more) indignant”, which put me in the mood to listen to Sinead O’Connor, which resulted in “Nothing Compares 2 U” playing as I type this, which has caused me to question my taste in music. So like that famous butterfly flapping his wings, you have set in motion a chain of events that could not have been anticipated at the outset. Whether this was a net gain or loss for the universe depends on your perspective, I suppose.

                • monkeyball Jan 5,2010 5:34 pm || Up

                  She was great in Butcher Boy, though.

                  you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
        • salb918 Jan 5,2010 10:46 am || Up

          I think most people are horrified by the commodification of babies, regardless of where they stand on abortion.

          • mk Jan 5,2010 10:56 am || Up

            Right. I was responding to this from nevermoor:

            if you’re pro-life you have to allow some other recourse for children born to parents who simply cannot care for them. Allowing sales has the benefit of satisfying that need and providing money to the parent.

            • nevermoor Jan 5,2010 11:41 am || Up

              Yeah. That may or may not be a faulty assumption.

              And I’m trying to understand rather than condemn.

              "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
          • monkeyball Jan 5,2010 11:06 am || Up

            That’s a really unfortunate metaphor in that final clause.

            you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  5. monkeyball Jan 5,2010 10:04 am

    My Somersby-esque takeaway from this is that Clinton illustrated the fundamental media/insider problem by receiving blowjobs instead of giving them.

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  6. mk Jan 5,2010 10:12 am

    1. “Thorium hype”:

    [I]f thorium reactors are so great, why don’t we have any? As Martin explains, that’s partly an accident of history. In 1965, Weinberg built a working prototype molten-salt reactor, but the U.S. government actually preferred uranium reactors because it wanted the leftover plutonium to make bombs. And after Weinberg was ousted from Oak Ridge in 1973, thorium research ground to a halt.

    Chalk the rest up to path dependency. Nowadays, U.S. power companies seem to feel more at ease with the light-water reactors they’ve been handling for decades. Even if thorium reactors could prove 50 percent more efficient than their uranium counterparts, utilities aren’t keen on shelling out big bucks to build (and learn how to operate) a radically new reactor design.

    2. Sound methodology:

    Biskind writes in his book, Star: How Warren Beatty Seduced America, that he arrived at the figure by “simple arithmetic”. He appears to have worked out the number of days between Beatty losing his virginity at 19 and the date in 1991 when he met Annette Bening on the set of Bugsy and fell into monogamy, and applied the questionable logic that during that entire period Beatty slept with an average of one woman a day. Biskind, an accomplished writer on Hollywood and author of Easy Riders, Raging Bulls, adds that for these purposes he ruled out “daytime quickies, drive-bys, casual gropings, stolen kisses and so on”.

    • Leopold Bloom Jan 5,2010 10:14 am || Up

      Does this make Annette Bening the winner or loser?

  7. salb918 Jan 5,2010 10:30 am

    lame (although I wonder what would happen if Bob Bradley sent a Happy New Year email to his North Korean counterpart)

  8. monkeyball Jan 5,2010 10:46 am

    TWSS:

    Talk about slipping in the irrational where no one’s expecting it.

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  9. salb918 Jan 5,2010 10:48 am
    • andeux Jan 5,2010 11:05 am || Up

      1. You’re the one who lives in Taxachusetts.

      2. I could rant about the multiple levels of stupidity in that editorial, but I trust it isn’t necessary.

      TINSTAAFK
    • Leopold Bloom Jan 5,2010 11:15 am || Up

      And I find that “happiest state” bullshit kind of annoying. Yeah, Florida’s happy. Come visit. We can count the happy people together.

      • monkeyball Jan 5,2010 11:22 am || Up

        BANG! One. BANG! Two. BANG! Three.

        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
        • Leopold Bloom Jan 5,2010 11:41 am || Up

          The level of evil in the laugh you just produced was quite high.

    • nevermoor Jan 5,2010 11:28 am || Up

      Sounds like a deeply flawed study. New York’s “disamenities” (high taxes, traffic congestion, cold weather, and poor schools) don’t seem to keep people from, you know, wanting to live there.

      I’m shocked… SHOCKED… that cheap, uninhabited, southern states ranked higher on a survey with that methodology.

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
      • Leopold Bloom Jan 5,2010 11:41 am || Up

        The entire Northeast and Midwest lives here in January.

  10. monkeyball Jan 5,2010 11:59 am
    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • nevermoor Jan 5,2010 12:09 pm || Up

      Fixed, to better represent what Woods is actually failing to acquire

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
      • monkeyball Jan 5,2010 12:12 pm || Up

        You are confusing quality with class.

        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  11. salb918 Jan 5,2010 12:09 pm

    Post title updated

    • monkeyball Jan 5,2010 12:11 pm || Up

      Category updated

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
      • nevermoor Jan 5,2010 12:16 pm || Up

        Well I’m happier now than I was yesterday.

        "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
        • monkeyball Jan 5,2010 12:19 pm || Up

          You are confusing quality with class

          you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
          • nevermoor Jan 5,2010 12:30 pm || Up

            You are confusing quality with glass.

            "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
            • salb918 Jan 5,2010 12:35 pm || Up

              You are confusing koala teas with glace.

              • Leopold Bloom Jan 5,2010 1:35 pm || Up

                There’s a place here in Sarasota called Koala Tees.

                • monkeyball Jan 5,2010 2:31 pm || Up

                  They should start a high-volume factory outlet called Qantas Tees

                  you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • nevermoor Jan 5,2010 12:15 pm || Up

      Multiple times apparently. I’ve edited the body to better fit the theme.

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  12. mikeA Jan 5,2010 12:36 pm

    rip Rory Markas. Excellent broadcaster. Listened to him a lot in 2001-04, he was great.

  13. mikeA Jan 5,2010 12:38 pm
    • andeux Jan 5,2010 12:44 pm || Up

      I assume he keeps a box of tissues handy when he watches Beltre play.

      TINSTAAFK
      • monkeyball Jan 5,2010 2:04 pm || Up

        TWHS

        no one in baseball comes in on the ball as well as he does

        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  14. Ice Cream Jan 5,2010 1:55 pm

    “I hate picky eaters. I just don’t share the same values as picky eaters.”

    Wait’ll he has kids.

    Where is the good in "good-bye"?
    • Leopold Bloom Jan 5,2010 1:57 pm || Up
    • salb918 Jan 5,2010 2:05 pm || Up

      Seriously. Junior I is a picky eater, like his dad was. We finally converged on the following lunch, which he has eaten, nearly every day without fail for a year: tofu, carrots, cream cheese and jelly sandwich.

      • Leopold Bloom Jan 5,2010 2:09 pm || Up

        cream cheese and jelly?

        Not to be snitty, but how’d you come across that one?

        • green star oakland Jan 5,2010 2:14 pm || Up

          I’d assumed that *all* of the ingredients were in the sandwich.

          If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
          • Leopold Bloom Jan 5,2010 2:18 pm || Up

            now THAT would be some searching.

            If that’s the case, I may set the salb family on the case of my poo.

          • salb918 Jan 5,2010 2:24 pm || Up

            heh. That’s a great sentence, isn’t it?

            • nevermoor Jan 5,2010 2:38 pm || Up

              This is what makes being a lawyer no fun. It would come out like: (1) tofu; (2) carrots; and/or (3) cream cheese and jelly sandwich.

              "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
              • monkeyball Jan 5,2010 2:44 pm || Up

                In my limited experience, many lawyers (a) eschew the serial comma (leading to potentially disastrous unintended interpretations), (b) mis- and overuse colons and semis (your colon and semis are superfluous in that sentence), and (c) are really, really, really, really bad technical writers, and (d) think they’re exceptional technical writers (though the disconnect between [c] and [d] isn’t as bad with attorneys as it is with MDs).

                you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
                • nevermoor Jan 5,2010 2:49 pm || Up

                  (a) not in my experience, but I’m sure it’s true
                  (b) absolutely true. ve do ziss because it is easy. My sentence, whether superfluous or not (and superfluousity was what I was getting at) is not susceptible of an interpretation other than the existence of three things being eaten. It sucks, it’s no fun, and it’s not clever.
                  (c) I’m sure that’s true
                  (d) We think we are exceptional at everything. Like economists.

                  "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
                • mikeA Jan 5,2010 3:11 pm || Up

                  Don’t I know it. I wrote a detailed sex manual, but due to misuse of commas, semicolons, and the fact that my instructions turned out to be painfully or comically imprecise depending on one’s perspective, I wound up getting sued by Rex Rammel’s publicist/personal assistant as well as charged with several HIPAA violations.

                • monkeyball Jan 5,2010 3:16 pm || Up

                  Fortunately, you ended up in the White House press pool.

                  you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
          • monkeyball Jan 5,2010 2:28 pm || Up

            … washed down with mk’s buttered olive oil.

            you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
        • monkeyball Jan 5,2010 2:28 pm || Up

          Ew.

          you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • salb918 Jan 5,2010 2:10 pm || Up

      I’ll give Michael Taylor Dodgeball. One of the great guilty pleasure movies of all time.

      Also, this is crazy

      • Leopold Bloom Jan 5,2010 2:12 pm || Up

        Yeah, iglew’s a strange creature.

        I like him, though.

      • andeux Jan 5,2010 2:14 pm || Up

        I also
        1. was a picky eater but mostly got over it. (I still don’t like raw tomatoes)
        2. frequently ate cream cheese and jelly sandwiches.
        3. agree about the craziness.

        TINSTAAFK
        • Leopold Bloom Jan 5,2010 2:18 pm || Up

          are you…are you salb’s kid?

        • nevermoor Jan 5,2010 2:29 pm || Up

          I dated someone who didn’t like raw tomatoes once. Very strange, since most tomatoes are almost entirely flavorless.

          (and yes, mb, I know you just bought some AWESOME heirlooms or something somewhere)

          "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
          • monkeyball Jan 5,2010 2:44 pm || Up

            (Dammit.)

            you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
      • 5Aces Jan 5,2010 4:05 pm || Up

        I shouldn’t get into half of my food issues-

        I do not like regular lettuce on burgers, tacos, etc. Green leaf or cabbage on a taco is great, and iceberg in a salad is fine.

        Can’t stand peppers cooked in most anything, though I have no issue eating them with something or mixed cold into a dressing.

        But no tomatoes or condiments just blows my mind.

        Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
    • monkeyball Jan 5,2010 2:11 pm || Up

      1. Michael Taylor is one sharp dude
      2. He’s also a Will Ferrell fan
      3. “Yes, we had a live bbq in the right field bleachers.” “And I can still hear the screams whenever I smell carnitas.”
      4. “It takes a lot of hard work and more sacrifice than most people know.” “For example, the live bbq in the right field bleachers.”

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • mk Jan 5,2010 2:40 pm || Up

      I am much more a “Lebowski” kind of guy as compared to a Ferell fanatic.

      Are those the two choices?

      I am much more of a “Citizen Kane” kind of guy as compared to a Ryan Reynolds fanatic.

  15. FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 5,2010 2:23 pm

    Glorious Roundup of Interesting Link Love

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • nevermoor Jan 5,2010 2:41 pm || Up

      Gloriously Redundant Instantiation of Lousy Links? (Or, at least, when I do it)

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
      • JediLeroy Jan 5,2010 10:03 pm || Up

        Glibertarian, Republican, Independent, and Liberal Links
        The GRILL

        az di bobe volt gehat beytsim volt zi geven mayn zeyde
        • andeux Jan 6,2010 9:49 am || Up

          Not true. There are frequent instances of the former two, for the purpose of mockery.

          TINSTAAFK
          • nevermoor Jan 6,2010 10:11 am || Up

            Hey, I’m often (although not in this instance) a Brooks flogger. Sometimes even Douthat. And my first link is a solid criticism of this administration.

            "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  16. green star oakland Jan 5,2010 2:30 pm

    A question to those who know journalism/newspapers:

    Who decides on the headline for an AP story – the paper or AP? Because I’ve got a bone to pick with whoever came up with this one.

    If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
    • Leopold Bloom Jan 5,2010 2:34 pm || Up

      The paper.

    • monkeyball Jan 5,2010 2:46 pm || Up

      Caption: “The Universe, shown at far left wearing a stovepipe hat and riding a donkey through the crowd …”

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  17. monkeyball Jan 5,2010 2:44 pm
    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • nevermoor Jan 5,2010 2:51 pm || Up
      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
      • andeux Jan 5,2010 2:59 pm || Up
        TINSTAAFK
      • monkeyball Jan 5,2010 2:59 pm || Up
        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • nevermoor Jan 5,2010 2:55 pm || Up

      Also, yes. That was pretty much my point a few days ago (although put more clearly)

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  18. monkeyball Jan 5,2010 2:47 pm

    I think there’s actually a very plausible and reasonable explanation for this

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • nevermoor Jan 5,2010 3:02 pm || Up

      Fake story.

      Rivers claims she was signing autographs at the Costa Rican airport while gate agents refused to let her on the flight.

      Too implausible.

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • salb918 Jan 5,2010 6:26 pm || Up

      Yes. The explanation is that Joan Rivers *is* a threat to national security.

      • monkeyball Jan 5,2010 9:08 pm || Up

        Well, I was thinking that if her passport is more than a couple weeks/months/years old, she could conceivably not look at all like her photo — and that combined with the AKA for an increasingly obscure celebrity would add up to a reasonably suspicious profile.

        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  19. monkeyball Jan 5,2010 2:48 pm
    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • nevermoor Jan 5,2010 3:03 pm || Up

      Turn that second m upside down.

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • Poppy Jan 5,2010 5:54 pm || Up

      I’m moving to Idaho and converting to Republicanism just so I can vote for Butch Otter.

      There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
      • andeux Jan 5,2010 5:58 pm || Up

        I wonder if his father’s nickname is “Pops”

        TINSTAAFK
        • monkeyball Jan 5,2010 6:02 pm || Up

          No, that’s the verb Butch uses when he, um …

          you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
      • andeux Jan 5,2010 6:03 pm || Up

        Fun Butch Otter facts from wikipedia:

        In 1964, Otter married Gay Simplot, daughter of his longtime employer, J. R. Simplot. After 28 years of marriage, the couple divorced in 1992.

        On August 18, 2006, Otter married his longtime girlfriend Lori Easley in Meridian. The two met in 1991 when Easley was Miss Idaho USA. Butch Otter’s first marriage was later annulled by the Catholic Church so that he could marry Easley, who is 25 years his junior.

        In 1992 Otter was pulled over on the Interstate-84 outside of Meridian, Idaho for driving under the influence. He claimed the arresting officer saw him swerving as he was reaching for his cowboy hat, which had been blown off by the wind in his open car.

        Otter offered many excuses for failing the field sobriety test including: his stocking feet were stung by weeds and gravel, he ran eight miles and his knees hurt, he was hungry, and that he soaked his chewing tobacco in Jack Daniels.

        A jury convicted Otter in 1993.

        TINSTAAFK
        • monkeyball Jan 5,2010 6:06 pm || Up

          Tag added

          you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
        • Poppy Jan 5,2010 9:22 pm || Up

          All of those facts make me happy! And I want to know what instrument monkeyball played with the Gay Simplot Otters.

          There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
          • monkeyball Jan 5,2010 10:23 pm || Up

            you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
      • salb918 Jan 5,2010 8:09 pm || Up

        “converting to Republicanism”?

    • Leopold Bloom Jan 5,2010 8:02 pm || Up

      God. Damn. Those are the two choices the Republicans have put forth in Idaho?

      One of them’s gonna be a governor?

  20. monkeyball Jan 5,2010 3:02 pm
    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  21. nevermoor Jan 5,2010 3:09 pm

    All due respect to Cole, but dude deserved this one.

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • monkeyball Jan 5,2010 3:14 pm || Up

      My own Cole takedown: if Amy writes for the Style section and co-authors “a gossip/around-the-town/politicians as celebrity kind of thing,” then she should actually have been all over the salacious angle on the Jeff Gannon story, which would ultimately have been far more controversial/attention-getting/easy than the inside-baseball media-biz angle.

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  22. monkeyball Jan 5,2010 3:58 pm
    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • nevermoor Jan 5,2010 4:14 pm || Up

      I’m not disappointed we weren’t in on that anymore.

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
      • monkeyball Jan 5,2010 4:18 pm || Up

        Boras is a magician

        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
        • nevermoor Jan 5,2010 4:21 pm || Up

          He didn’t maximize Beltre’s guaranteed paycheck. Bastard.

          "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  23. monkeyball Jan 5,2010 4:34 pm

    Oy. Posnanski’s and KLaw’s top ten musicals. There’s a whole lotta Bridget Jones on those lists.

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • Ice Cream Jan 5,2010 4:55 pm || Up

      Well, you can guess my favorite.

      Singing is just sustained talking.

      Where is the good in "good-bye"?
      • Leopold Bloom Jan 5,2010 8:16 pm || Up

        (kinda self-serving)

      • JediLeroy Jan 5,2010 10:07 pm || Up

        Actually, every time I read your screen name, I sing that bit from the Music Man.

        az di bobe volt gehat beytsim volt zi geven mayn zeyde
        • Ice Cream Jan 5,2010 11:02 pm || Up

          LOL, I’m flattered ’cause that is precisely the inspiration for my screen name.

          I played Ewart Dunlop (I’m the one on the left) in a regional production of The Music Man four and a half years ago and after giving it some thought, settled on Ice Cream as a screen name when I joined ** three months later.

          Where is the good in "good-bye"?
          • 5Aces Jan 7,2010 11:58 am || Up

            I 100% would not have guessed that. FANTASTIC.

            It was actually the reason I decided to take up the trombone growing up. Which in turn is why The eldest little Ace has taken up Trombone. In 74 more generations we will be ready to lead the big parade…

            Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
            • monkeyball Jan 7,2010 12:11 pm || Up

              Is Little Ace named Rusty?

              you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • monkeyball Jan 5,2010 4:56 pm || Up

      My Top 11:

      1. Singin’ in the Rain
      2. “The American in Paris” ballet number from An American in Paris
      3. The Young Girls of Rochefort
      4. Tommy
      5. Bye Bye Birdie
      6. The first 10 minutes of Moulin Rouge
      7. The Umbrellas of Cherbourg
      8. The Wizard of Oz
      9. O Brother Where Art Thou
      10. Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory
      11. Busby Berkeley’s Dames

      Other candidates:

      “The Red Shoes” ballet from The Red Shoes
      42nd Street
      A Hard Day’s Night
      Annie Get Your Gun
      Babes in Arms
      Blues Brothers
      Cabaret
      Jacques Demy’s Lola
      Lisztomania
      Meet Me in St Louis
      On the Town
      Phantom of the Paradise
      South Park: BL&U
      Tales of Hoffman
      The Bandwagon
      The Music Lovers
      The Sound of Music
      This Is Spinal Tap

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
      • salb918 Jan 5,2010 6:29 pm || Up

        Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum

  24. monkeyball Jan 5,2010 5:22 pm
    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • nevermoor Jan 5,2010 5:36 pm || Up

      I dunno. He’d have to be pretty stupid to tweet about an affair. Also, I care as little about this as about the real stuff.

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
      • monkeyball Jan 5,2010 6:04 pm || Up

        I don’t give a rat’s ass from a polity/governance standpoint. I just find it amusing. And there’s the partisan schadenfreude.

        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • salb918 Jan 5,2010 6:25 pm || Up

      Nice touch of class, hoping for pedophilia at the end of the post there.

  25. batgirl Jan 5,2010 7:39 pm

    Halp!

    One of you downtown SF workers…is there anywhere nearish the Ferry Building that one can park on a Friday afternoon without paying a bloody fortune? My aunt and cousin are coming to town and want to walk around the Ferry Bldg. and eat lunch, etc. We’ll probably be there 2-3 hours or so. I don’t want to attempt feeding a meter and was hoping not to pay some ungodly hourly rate in a lot. Thoughts? Most of the validated mentions on the Ferry Building website are for weekends only.

    • nevermoor Jan 5,2010 9:50 pm || Up

      The cheapest all-day is in One Maritime Plaza ($16 I think). The problem with trying to park on a weekday is that that’s when everyone else parks there too. Meters are likely going to be your best bet on a cost basis (bring plenty of quarters or one of these)

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • monkeyball Jan 5,2010 10:29 pm || Up

      Matt Yglesias regards this request with scorn.

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  26. Leopold Bloom Jan 5,2010 8:41 pm

    If the phrase “bacchanalia” is used to describe the event

  27. Leopold Bloom Jan 5,2010 9:51 pm

    The fact that this is one of the major stories for my area, does this suggest:

    1. Florida is terribly bereft of miniature golf.
    2. It’s a slow news day in the Sarasota major metropolitan area.
    3. Florida is full of weird, inbred rednecks and Jewish dentists from NYC.
    4. Florida sucks.

    • monkeyball Jan 5,2010 10:30 pm || Up

      Fish Hole Adventure?Christ, what a fish hole.

      /fixed

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
      • Leopold Bloom Jan 6,2010 1:05 am || Up

        Lakewood Ranch is where that cheating NBA ref lived/lives.

      • monkeyball Jan 6,2010 7:02 am || Up

        Dammit

        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  28. Leopold Bloom Jan 6,2010 1:47 am

    We’re gowan be doing one thang: killing Nat-zis.

  29. Leopold Bloom Jan 6,2010 4:42 am
  30. salb918 Jan 6,2010 6:32 am

    wow

    If he finishes in the top-10 in MVP balloting in 2016, a $17 million option vests for 2017. According to AP, there is a $1 million buyout if the option does not vest.

    That’s nuts. Can you imagine a few Chicago writers throwing votes to an injured, broken-down Holliday in order to kick in an albatross option? Or Holliday could be playing at a HoF level and could be in line for another huge contract, so he calls up his writer buddies and asks them *not* to vote for him?

    The whole clause just seems problematic.

    • monkeyball Jan 6,2010 7:01 am || Up

      Christ, what a clause whole

      Also: wasn’t The Albatross Option one of those posthumous Ludlum novels?

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
      • Leopold Bloom Jan 6,2010 7:19 am || Up

        If it wasn’t, it should’ve been.

      • salb918 Jan 6,2010 7:55 am || Up

        • monkeyball Jan 6,2010 10:06 am || Up

          you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
          • Leopold Bloom Jan 6,2010 10:08 am || Up

            Bela-Ross?!

            You’re getting sloppy, monkey.

            • monkeyball Jan 6,2010 10:19 am || Up

              FAIL. Look at the outline behind Mr. Lugosi. You can redeem yourself by getting/explaining the fourth one.

              you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • nevermoor Jan 6,2010 9:35 am || Up

      To be fair, aren’t the possibilities for options severely reduced to only apply for things like that and plate appearances?

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
      • andeux Jan 6,2010 10:03 am || Up

        Yes. But it’s still problematic.
        Last year it would have taken more than 3 first-place votes (or equivalent) to be top 10 in the NL MVP, and more than 2 to be top 10 in the AL MVP, so this isn’t quite as bad as the clause that Schilling had where a single vote could give him a big bonus.

        TINSTAAFK
        • salb918 Jan 6,2010 10:18 am || Up

          But, you can easily imagine a situation where Holliday has played well enough for considerable down-ballot votes. In that case, it might take only one or two ballots placing him 4th instead of, say, 7th. The ranking beyond the top three is something that people don’t usually pay attention to. All I’m saying is that it’s possible. Appearance of conflict being a conflict, and all that.

  31. mjdittmer Jan 6,2010 9:58 am

    Poz: “Raines … had fewer 200-hit seasons than Ruben Sierra.”

    Finally, an advocate for RS to get into the Hall! I don’t think he’s eligible yet, but when he is …

    • Leopold Bloom Jan 6,2010 10:01 am || Up

      “WHO WANTS TO SEX SIERRA?”

      • monkeyball Jan 6,2010 10:08 am || Up

        TAN SIERRA! TAN SIERRA!

        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come

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