December Lounge: Winter in My Heart ← FREE KRAUT!

December Lounge: Winter in My Heart 363

November came and went. Here’s another Lounge.

363 thoughts on “December Lounge: Winter in My Heart

  1. Jennifer Jennifer Dec 5,2014 2:41 pm

    I miss Sally Jesse Raphael.

    • AV AV Dec 5,2014 2:47 pm || Up

      she’s like one of those guys with two first names.

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
        • AV AV Dec 5,2014 2:52 pm || Up

          do try to keep up with the jokes… there’s no guy named sally!

          *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 5,2014 2:49 pm || Up

        And only one is really her name! I feel cheated.

  2. Jennifer Jennifer Dec 5,2014 2:42 pm

    I like getting mail.

    • 5Aces 5Aces Dec 5,2014 2:59 pm || Up

      Really? My mail consists of Vons ads, direct TV ads, bills for magazines we never ordered and Kaiser statements showing how much we have spent this year.

      Maybe 1-2 times a year I will get a notice for a class action suit that eventually ends with me getting a check for $7.42, but yeah..mail is meh.

      Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
      • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 5,2014 3:03 pm || Up

        This is basically me:

      • Soaker Soaker Dec 5,2014 4:31 pm || Up

        Don’t forget the solicitations for contributions from your alma mater.

  3. AV AV Dec 5,2014 2:46 pm

    wow. the months are passing like kidney stones.

    *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 5,2014 2:47 pm || Up

      Long and painfully?

      • AV AV Dec 5,2014 2:48 pm || Up

        and then they’re gone and you don’t even remember it.

        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • AV AV Dec 5,2014 2:49 pm || Up

        i’m counting the days till solid food. 6! (should the x-rays agree.)

        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
          • AV AV Dec 5,2014 2:54 pm || Up

            i’m scared to look forward to it too much. promised myself i wouldn’t buy that t-bone till i’m on my way home from the hospital. would suck if they give me another week and i have a steak spoiling in my pocket.

            *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
            • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 5,2014 2:55 pm || Up

              You should keep it in the refrigerator instead of your pocket.

              • AV AV Dec 5,2014 8:24 pm || Up

                but advanced foodie theory says to bring steaks up to temp before cooking.

                *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
                • Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 8:27 pm || Up

                  Enough with the fucking advance foodie theory stuff, AV.

                  But seriously, folks...
                • FreeSeatUpgrade FreeSeatUpgrade Dec 6,2014 10:53 am || Up

                  Value Over Replacement Meat.

                  "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
        • dmoas Dec 5,2014 2:56 pm || Up

          It’s over rated. You’re not missing anything.

  4. Jennifer Jennifer Dec 5,2014 3:01 pm

    I recently discovered Megan Mullally is married to Nick Offerman. I haven’t been the same since.

    • AV AV Dec 5,2014 3:49 pm || Up

      yesterday i found out jennifer jason leigh is like one of those guys with two first names was vic morrow’s daughter.

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  5. MikeV MikeV Dec 5,2014 3:06 pm

    I like the thread tag.

    And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

    Thanks, and go As.

  6. Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Dec 5,2014 4:00 pm

    Bed bait:

    • AV AV Dec 5,2014 4:04 pm || Up

      speaking of being 1 for the season. are the sixers tanking on purpose?

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Dec 5,2014 4:06 pm || Up

        Big time. Have been for a couple of years now.

        • AV AV Dec 5,2014 4:08 pm || Up

          that’s rough. i used to enjoy them. allen iverson and all.

          *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
        • AV AV Dec 5,2014 4:10 pm || Up

          OTOH, 11 streak going for 12!

          *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
          • Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Dec 5,2014 4:17 pm || Up

            And not just winning, but winning entertainingly. People around here who like sports are cheating themselves if they’re not watching these Warriors.

            • AV AV Dec 6,2014 6:54 pm || Up

              close game now…

              *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 4:41 pm || Up

      I like Mike Beebe, and he’s been a good Governor, so if he wants to get his kid off I’m cool with it.

      But seriously, folks...
      • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 5,2014 4:42 pm || Up

        You sick bastard.

        • Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 4:45 pm || Up

          Well, it’s good to know that mine isn’t the only mind that’s in the gutter.

          But seriously, folks...
  7. Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 4:42 pm

    Funerals would be a lot more fun if they played the Magnum P.I. theme song.

    But seriously, folks...
    • dmoas Dec 5,2014 5:09 pm || Up

      The Star Wars or Indiana Jones Theme would work good too.

    • Future Ed Future Ed Dec 5,2014 6:50 pm || Up

      this one was favorited by someone we don’t know

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
      • Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 7:25 pm || Up

        If it was favorited by hotforsallyjesse69 that was me.

        But seriously, folks...
        • Dial C for Concupiscence Dial C for Concupiscence Dec 8,2014 11:51 am || Up

          I always assumed you were PeakedWithTallulahBankhead

  8. Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 4:45 pm

    I had soy sausage once…once.

    But seriously, folks...
  9. Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 4:45 pm

    I had turkey sausage once…once.

    But seriously, folks...
    • Soaker Soaker Dec 5,2014 4:48 pm || Up

      Turkey sausage is about the only way to keep your sausage, egg and cheese breakfast bagel under 1000 calories and 50 g of fat.

      • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 5,2014 4:50 pm || Up

        I like turkey bacon.

        • 5Aces 5Aces Dec 5,2014 8:07 pm || Up

          I also like turkey bacon. Though I wish it had a different name because it isnt bacon. It is a bacon-like breakfast meat.

          Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
        • Dial C for Concupiscence Dial C for Concupiscence Dec 8,2014 11:52 am || Up

          I hate it as a substitute for real bacon. But on its own, I like it fine

      • Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 4:50 pm || Up

        I don’t eat breakfast bagels…I’m a Republican.

        But seriously, folks...
      • MikeV MikeV Dec 5,2014 6:06 pm || Up

        Throw the bagel away.

        And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

        Thanks, and go As.

        • nevermoor nevermoor Dec 5,2014 8:08 pm || Up

          Also, fat isn’t a bad thing. It’s a necessary thing.

          "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
          • MikeV MikeV Dec 5,2014 10:30 pm || Up

            Truth

            And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

            Thanks, and go As.

  10. Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 4:50 pm

    I don’t wear pins, I don’t write with pens, I never knock down any pins, I didn’t go to Penn, I won’t root for the Pens, and I don’t like Sean Penn.

    But seriously, folks...
    • Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Dec 5,2014 5:02 pm || Up

      Ever been in the pen?

      • Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 5:04 pm || Up

        Well, that I enjoyed. Free room and board and all the cuddling a fella could want.

        But seriously, folks...
        • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 5,2014 5:09 pm || Up

          Three hot and a cot.

          • MikeV MikeV Dec 5,2014 6:06 pm || Up

            so a foursome?

            And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

            Thanks, and go As.

            • dmoas Dec 5,2014 6:34 pm || Up

              Cot, Mike. COT.

            • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 5,2014 6:53 pm || Up

              In your dreams.

              • Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 7:50 pm || Up

                I’m in foursomes all the time. It usually involves lots of balls and shafts and putting things into holes.

                But seriously, folks...
                • ptbnl Dec 6,2014 1:32 pm || Up

                  And getting lost in the rough.

                  If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
                • Dial C for Concupiscence Dial C for Concupiscence Dec 8,2014 11:55 am || Up

                  Hopefully you don’t take too many strokes and get everyone mad

                • Kay Temple Kirk Kay Temple Kirk Dec 8,2014 3:55 pm || Up

                  That’s usually the rule of thumb when masturbating in a bunkbed dormitory setting.

                  \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
  11. Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 4:53 pm

    I don’t like straw man arguments…primarily due to my Wizard of Oz phobia.

    But seriously, folks...
    • Future Ed Future Ed Dec 5,2014 5:10 pm || Up

      I, along with your 18 followers on twitter, including “wallgreens deals” thank you for the content

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
      • Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 5:11 pm || Up

        Wallgreens Deals has always had my back.

        But seriously, folks...
    • AV AV Dec 5,2014 6:38 pm || Up

      total guess: you googled men named sally?

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 7:26 pm || Up

        pfft…I’m cool. I use Bing.

        But seriously, folks...
  12. Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 5:13 pm

    We don’t talk enough about Sally Jesse Raphael here in the Lounge…oh, wait…never mind.

    But seriously, folks...
  13. Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 5:16 pm

    Sadly, I can no longer have bedhead.

    But seriously, folks...
  14. Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 5:18 pm

    If Aaron Sorkin was writing this lounge this is where I’d look earnestly into the camera and give a dialogue about even though I was a Republican I support everything the President has done…then a Coldplay song would play.

    But seriously, folks...
  15. Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 5:19 pm

    I like to wrap my twenty minute naps up in less than ten minutes.

    But seriously, folks...
  16. Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 5:22 pm

    My new intern was born the year I graduated college…death is just right around the corner.

    But seriously, folks...
    • AV AV Dec 5,2014 6:42 pm || Up

      you have an intern?

      or maybe i should ask, is he going to get his own account or are you making him write posts under your name?

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 7:49 pm || Up

        This will be my third intern…the other two left the country.

        But seriously, folks...
        • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 5,2014 7:50 pm || Up

          Willingly?

          • Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 7:53 pm || Up

            They said something about being turned off of working in the United States…I think one of them pans for gold in Siberia.

            But seriously, folks...
  17. Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 5:23 pm

    I got invited to a party once…once.

    But seriously, folks...
  18. Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 5:25 pm

    I was the understudy for Alec Baldwin in A Street Car Named Desire once…once.

    But seriously, folks...
  19. Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 5:26 pm

    I took a trip to Uranus once…once.

    But seriously, folks...
  20. Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 5:28 pm

    If you could have any first name what would it be?

    But seriously, folks...
    • AV AV Dec 5,2014 6:43 pm || Up

      AV.

      but i’d use it as my middle name.

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  21. Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 5:29 pm

    I’m throwing my hat in the ring to direct Star Trek 3. My pitch is we don’t make it.

    But seriously, folks...
  22. Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 5:30 pm

    If a picture is worth a thousand words how many words is a GIF worth?

    But seriously, folks...
  23. Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 5:34 pm

    I’m cold blooded
    Check it and see
    I got a fever of 43

    If Foreigner was a band of lizards.

    But seriously, folks...
  24. Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 5:34 pm

    Time out

    But seriously, folks...
  25. Future Ed Future Ed Dec 5,2014 6:39 pm

    its friday and brandon moss is still an A.

    yay!

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • MikeV MikeV Dec 5,2014 6:40 pm || Up

      and Andy Parrino is still the starting SS!

      Oh.

      And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

      Thanks, and go As.

      • dmoas Dec 5,2014 7:15 pm || Up

        No, Nick Punto is.

        • Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 7:40 pm || Up

          Are these names made up or do these people actually exist?

          But seriously, folks...
    • Dial C for Concupiscence Dial C for Concupiscence Dec 8,2014 11:57 am || Up

      Stupid Mondays

  26. MikeV MikeV Dec 5,2014 6:58 pm

    Shit. I have to rewatch Fight Club tonight.

    There was ANOTHER part I just found about that I didn’t notice before.

    And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

    Thanks, and go As.

    • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 5,2014 7:29 pm || Up

      You aren’t supposed to talk about it.

  27. andeux andeux Dec 5,2014 7:16 pm

    Little known fact: “Sneaking Sally through the Alley” is about Sally Jessy Raphael.

    TINSTAAFK
  28. FreeSeatUpgrade FreeSeatUpgrade Dec 5,2014 7:24 pm

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • AV AV Dec 5,2014 7:55 pm || Up

      they cancelled first friday for nothing.

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  29. Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 7:31 pm

    Cool…KU got the wide receivers coach of a 7-5 team to be their new head coach. I’m not sure I’ll even bother to learn this ones name.

    But seriously, folks...
    • FreeSeatUpgrade FreeSeatUpgrade Dec 5,2014 7:33 pm || Up

      It’s Dorothy.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  30. Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 7:37 pm

    Have I mentioned my trip to Uranus?

    But seriously, folks...
    • dmoas Dec 5,2014 7:39 pm || Up

      You don’t need to. I can feel it in my colon.

  31. Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 7:38 pm

    I’m thinking about taking up curling.

    But seriously, folks...
  32. Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 7:41 pm

    Enjoy the bean dip.

    But seriously, folks...
  33. Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 7:41 pm

    Potato chips or tortilla chips?

    But seriously, folks...
    • 5Aces 5Aces Dec 5,2014 8:11 pm || Up

      Potato chips with everything; dip, guac, salsa. Tortilla chips still get a slight edge in nachos though.

      Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
      • Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 8:15 pm || Up

        I’m a tortilla chip guy myself…I’m not sure I’ve ever even thought about using potato chips with salsa.

        But seriously, folks...
        • 5Aces 5Aces Dec 5,2014 8:29 pm || Up

          To clarify, needs to be a chip with ridges and preferably thick cut. Dont take your paper thin Lay’s and try it.

          Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
          • Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 8:37 pm || Up

            This is starting to get too technical for me to follow.

            But seriously, folks...
  34. Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 7:43 pm

    I’m thinking about taking up moose hunting.

    But seriously, folks...
  35. Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 7:45 pm

    97% of Americans eat pizza. 3% of Americans are communists.

    But seriously, folks...
  36. Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 7:45 pm

    So, was this site almost called Free Onions?

    But seriously, folks...
  37. Jennifer Jennifer Dec 5,2014 7:46 pm

    So I picked up a few extra hours tomorrow. This should do me in.

    • Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 7:47 pm || Up

      pfft…we’re having a birthday party filled with 3 year olds and their parents…I’ll take your shift.

      But seriously, folks...
      • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 5,2014 7:49 pm || Up

        And my kidney stones? Deal. Kids love me.

        • Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 7:50 pm || Up

          Wait…you have kidney stones? Shit…I punt.

          But seriously, folks...
      • FreeSeatUpgrade FreeSeatUpgrade Dec 5,2014 7:51 pm || Up

        I’m hosting a birthday party too. Except it’s 14 year olds, and I’m grilling on the beach. Rain or shine.

        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
        • Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 7:54 pm || Up

          I think your party is going to be more fun than my party.

          But seriously, folks...
  38. Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 7:46 pm

    I’m thinking about taking up hockey.

    But seriously, folks...
    • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 5,2014 7:50 pm || Up

      I was going to take up hockey. Then I found out “hybrid icing” had nothing to do with cake.

      • Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 7:51 pm || Up

        This is like when I found out hare pie was a lot different than hair pie.

        But seriously, folks...
        • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 5,2014 7:52 pm || Up

          Was this before or after you ate it?

          • Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 7:54 pm || Up

            Well, after of course…I had to be sure.

            But seriously, folks...
        • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 5,2014 8:03 pm || Up

          • Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 8:04 pm || Up

            I think we dated back in 92.

            But seriously, folks...
            • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 5,2014 8:06 pm || Up

              You and the pie?

              • Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 8:07 pm || Up

                Yep…she wasn’t much in the conversation department.

                But seriously, folks...
                • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 5,2014 8:08 pm || Up

                  …. any way you slice it?

                • Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 8:11 pm || Up

                  She mostly just talked about wanting to open up a hair salon. I think she wanted me to give her the seed money.

                  But seriously, folks...
                • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 5,2014 8:09 pm || Up

                  I thought you meant me. I would have been 8… but I know how you feel about getting kids off. Had to clarify.

                • Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 8:13 pm || Up

                  It’s always best to clarify in those sort of situations.

                  But seriously, folks...
  39. Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 7:55 pm

    I’m thinking about taking up eating jelly donuts with beer.

    But seriously, folks...
  40. Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 8:02 pm

    Cinnamon Buns don’t kill people which is why I support the Second Amendment.

    But seriously, folks...
    • nevermoor nevermoor Dec 5,2014 8:27 pm || Up

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  41. Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 8:05 pm

    If my daughter ever comes up to me and says, “Papa don’t preach” then it will confirm my life has been just one long Madonna video.

    But seriously, folks...
    • Dial C for Concupiscence Dial C for Concupiscence Dec 8,2014 12:00 pm || Up

      She does like to sit up on lamposts sometimes, so you gotta keep a careful eye out

  42. Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 8:06 pm

    I’m thinking about growing a Dave Steib mustache.

    But seriously, folks...
  43. Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 8:09 pm

    I’m so cautious I refuse to play Risk.

    But seriously, folks...
  44. Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 8:16 pm

    If you find yourself eating a whole cylinder of Pringles then you know…yes, you have hit rock bottom.

    But seriously, folks...
  45. Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 8:20 pm

    If you find yourself posting that you want to take up curling on an Oakland A’s baseball related blog then you know…yes, you have hit rock bottom.

    But seriously, folks...
  46. Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 8:22 pm

    I’m thinking about taking up Canadian citizenship.

    But seriously, folks...
  47. Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 8:24 pm

    Speaking of Canada and the Second Amendment…I like to peel bananas from the bottom up.

    But seriously, folks...
    • AV AV Dec 5,2014 8:27 pm || Up

      PREACH. except i turn it over first so it’s still the top, but i’ve been peeling from the end without the stem.

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 8:28 pm || Up

        We are the only two sane people left.

        But seriously, folks...
      • Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Dec 6,2014 7:59 pm || Up

        I didn’t even know this was an option.

        • AV AV Dec 6,2014 9:12 pm || Up

          that nasty little blackened nubbin suddenly becomes the last bite and you can leave it in the peel, untouched.

          *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  48. Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 8:25 pm

    I don’t care what anyone says…I’m not convinced Greenland is a real place.

    But seriously, folks...
  49. Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 8:26 pm

    North Dakota totally looks down on South Dakota.

    But seriously, folks...
  50. Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 8:44 pm

    Two words I would use to describe Sunday’s epic battle between the Raiders and the 49ers is dull and boring. San Francisco wins 17-7.

    But seriously, folks...
    • nevermoor nevermoor Dec 6,2014 2:33 pm || Up

      I’m predicting a blowout that convinces SF that the niners are ok for a week. We seem to always have one of those highs.

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
      • FreeSeatUpgrade FreeSeatUpgrade Dec 6,2014 2:51 pm || Up

        Prepare yourself for defeat, Niner boy!

        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 6,2014 8:28 pm || Up

      I kind of wish I was going to be home to watch.

  51. Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 9:03 pm

    The name is Bond…Gold Bond. I’m here to take care of Itchy Galore.

    But seriously, folks...
    • Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 9:05 pm || Up

      Well, the good news is I can’t do any worse than this one…or can I?

      But seriously, folks...
      • Future Ed Future Ed Dec 5,2014 9:08 pm || Up

        i like it

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
          • dmoas Dec 5,2014 9:15 pm || Up

            Yep. Itchy Galore put that shit over the top.

            • Future Ed Future Ed Dec 5,2014 9:20 pm || Up

              the favorite it and retweet it, you bastards

              I have $5. No I don\'t.
              • Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 9:22 pm || Up

                Serious Ed is serious about this stuff!

                But seriously, folks...
              • Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 9:39 pm || Up

                F.K. Salon…didn’t he play second base for the Dodgers back in 67?

                But seriously, folks...
              • dmoas Dec 5,2014 9:42 pm || Up

                I don’t twit.

          • Future Ed Future Ed Dec 5,2014 9:54 pm || Up

            good work jennifer

            I have $5. No I don\'t.
          • Future Ed Future Ed Dec 5,2014 10:01 pm || Up

            And Aces. You two are doing great work.

            Don’t forget to log on and post stuff.

            I have $5. No I don\'t.
  52. Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 9:08 pm

    How many Billy Joel songs talk about masturbation?

    A. 1
    B. 2
    C. 5
    D. All of them

    But seriously, folks...
  53. Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 9:09 pm

    Speaking of itching and Billy Joel’s masturbation habits…I don’t like whole milk.

    But seriously, folks...
  54. Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 9:11 pm

    Clearly the internet is good for only three things

    1. Porn
    2. Talking about Star Trek
    3. Star Trek related porn

    But seriously, folks...
    • dmoas Dec 5,2014 9:26 pm || Up

      You forgot #4: Porn related Star Trek.

      • Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 9:28 pm || Up

        Do those involves trips to Uranus?

        But seriously, folks...
        • AV AV Dec 5,2014 9:36 pm || Up

          of course. that’s where all the klingons are.

          *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Dec 6,2014 6:48 pm || Up

        Porn Farr

  55. Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 9:12 pm

    I don’t care what anyone says…I’m not convinced Candyland is a real place.

    But seriously, folks...
    • Englishmajor Englishmajor Dec 9,2014 11:02 am || Up

      It is and it’s in downtown Saint Paul. Best caramel corn in the world.

    • andeux andeux Dec 9,2014 11:09 am || Up
      TINSTAAFK
  56. Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 9:18 pm

    My next 23 posts will only make sense if you’ve seen Eddie and the Cruisers II: Eddie Lives!

    But seriously, folks...
    • 5Aces 5Aces Dec 5,2014 9:23 pm || Up

      More Canada posts Bed? You really are on The Dark Side…

      Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
      • Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 9:24 pm || Up

        oh ya…on the dark side…oh ya…(saxophone solo)…oh ya

        But seriously, folks...
    • dmoas Dec 5,2014 9:42 pm || Up

      I have!!!

      • Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 9:44 pm || Up

        That makes two of us…I wonder if even five people here on FK have seen it?

        But seriously, folks...
        • AV AV Dec 5,2014 9:49 pm || Up

          [pretends he’s not raising his hand.]

          *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
          • Future Ed Future Ed Dec 5,2014 9:53 pm || Up

            I probably have.

            Edwards Cinemas had dollar tuesdays where people could get really high and watch terrible movies for a dollar.

            that sounds like something we would see

            I have $5. No I don\'t.
        • 5Aces 5Aces Dec 5,2014 11:07 pm || Up

          Come on-I even made a note that Eddie was in Canada…so we are at 4.

          Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
  57. Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 9:27 pm

    It really doesn’t feel like I’ve talked enough about Mike Connors as Mannix enough. I need to work on this.

    But seriously, folks...
    • 5Aces 5Aces Dec 5,2014 9:30 pm || Up

      *Fresno’s own Mike Connors

      Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
      • Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 9:33 pm || Up

        Fresno: Land of prunes and dead television actors.

        But seriously, folks...
    • AV AV Dec 5,2014 9:39 pm || Up

      i used to love the mannix theme song when i was tiny.

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 9:40 pm || Up

        Even Jesus hates the Mannix theme song.

        But seriously, folks...
        • AV AV Dec 5,2014 9:53 pm || Up

          maybe when he got old, cynical and crucified. but not when he was tiny!

          *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  58. Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 9:30 pm

    So, have we gotten a deal to write a sitcom off of our twitter feed yet?

    But seriously, folks...
  59. Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 9:37 pm

    So, how’s work? Are the wife and kids doing well? How about this weather we’re having? How bout dem Bears?

    But seriously, folks...
    • 5Aces 5Aces Dec 5,2014 11:09 pm || Up

      Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
  60. Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 9:37 pm

    Even Jesus hates Christmas music.

    But seriously, folks...
    • Future Ed Future Ed Dec 5,2014 9:49 pm || Up

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
  61. Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 9:47 pm

    I don’t care what everyone says…you’re alright in my book.

    But seriously, folks...
  62. Bed Bed Dec 5,2014 9:48 pm

    Bed has left the building…

    But seriously, folks...
  63. Future Ed Future Ed Dec 5,2014 9:56 pm

    what is happening to the sport I have loved for almost an entire year??

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Dec 6,2014 6:48 pm || Up

      Cricket purists like you must be enraged.

  64. batgirl batgirl Dec 6,2014 1:52 pm

    Plug for upcoming event: Friends of BACS held a fundraiser Thursday for the Berkeley municipal animal shelter. It was “Paint your Pet” night. We go to submit a photo of our pet and a local artist did a pencil sketch on canvas that we got to paint. It was so fun! I was amazed how different (and great) all the paintings came out. We’re having another in January if anyone has interest or knows someone it might be a good holiday gift for.

    I painted Bronte:

      • FreeSeatUpgrade FreeSeatUpgrade Dec 6,2014 3:21 pm || Up

        Totes adorbs!

        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
        • batgirl batgirl Dec 7,2014 7:01 am || Up

          Aww thanks! I was at least pleased that it does actually look like Bronte!

    • East Bay Evans East Bay Evans Dec 6,2014 7:08 pm || Up

      Neat!

    • Future Ed Future Ed Dec 7,2014 7:12 am || Up

      no jacket?

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
      • batgirl batgirl Dec 7,2014 8:32 am || Up

        Next time! Now that I know what I’m doing. Although that satin shine may be hard to achieve!

  65. FreeSeatUpgrade FreeSeatUpgrade Dec 6,2014 2:49 pm

    On black sand beach in Marin headlands. Never been here before, it is really neat. Primera wanted a Hawaiian themed party, so we are on the black sand beach, girls are making leis, and later I am serving plate lunch (for dinner). Chicken/bacon kabobs with a savory pineapple sauce, and macaroni salad.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  66. Soaker Soaker Dec 6,2014 2:57 pm

    I don’t think Jennifer will have to deal with drunken celebrants in the ER tonight. Just the usual Saturday night crowd.

    Although I don’t like the automatic ejection on targeting calls, sometimes ejection is deserved, and that was the case on this chickenshit hit.

  67. Jennifer Jennifer Dec 6,2014 8:07 pm

    Sixteen people, fourteen passengers and two crew members simultaneously began vomiting on a U.S. Airways plane from Israel to Philadelphia on Friday, forcing the pilot to make an emergency stop in Rome.

    Various news reports identified a foul odor in the cabin which caused the domino effect of illness.

    Not much of a story, but I found it hilarious. I have moments of someone vomiting where I cannot stand to be in the same room as the barfer. Then there’s days like today where I can be right up in someone’s business when they barf and I’m okay.

    • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 6,2014 8:15 pm || Up

      This is the story accompanying the story:

      This passenger could be barfing because she’s drinking and mixing pills.

    • Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Dec 6,2014 8:18 pm || Up

      Reminds me of the pie-eating contest story from Stand by Me.

  68. FreeSeatUpgrade FreeSeatUpgrade Dec 6,2014 8:33 pm

    Please please please leave Florida State out of the playoff. They suck.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • MikeV MikeV Dec 6,2014 10:09 pm || Up

      Who would you put in instead?

      I’d have to say Bama, FSU, Oregon, and Ohio St.

      I think Baylor might have a better chance than TCU

      And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

      Thanks, and go As.

      • nevermoor nevermoor Dec 6,2014 11:16 pm || Up

        It’ll be TCU (best loss of any one-loss team). I think if FSU lost, though, it would be Ohio State and Baylor because I don’t think you can leave Baylor at 5 when you let a team they beat in.

        Going to be a controversial morning either way. And I bet the playoffs go to 8 toot sweet.

        "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
        • MikeV MikeV Dec 6,2014 11:30 pm || Up

          I just don’t see how TCU > Baylor when they played a game and Baylor won.

          And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

          Thanks, and go As.

          • nevermoor nevermoor Dec 7,2014 11:33 am || Up

            Well, they went and screwed it all up even more. Absolutely insane to not take either of them, since the Big-10 was absolutely awful this year. Alabama is going to win that game by 35+

            "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  69. nevermoor nevermoor Dec 7,2014 11:48 am

    I’m really mad about this stupid Ohio State call. They beat nobody all season (except Michigan State), and the Big-10 absolutely sucks.

    Meanwhile ESPN’s spin is “they picked the best four teams, but Alabama is going to be THRILLED by this matchup” which is complete bs.

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • MikeV MikeV Dec 7,2014 12:12 pm || Up

      Should have been Baylor.

      And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

      Thanks, and go As.

      • Soaker Soaker Dec 7,2014 1:17 pm || Up

        The message seemed to be that, if you don’t play a conference championship game, your out of conference schedule needs to be better than SMU, “Northwestern State” (who?) and U. of Buffalo. It’s not a bad message, but the response will likely be that the Big 12 will find a way to get back to having a championship game rather than going on a no-cupcakes diet.

        • nevermoor nevermoor Dec 7,2014 3:29 pm || Up

          I think that’s BS though. Sure, the non-conference schedule was weak, and accounting for it is fair, but they played a MUCH harder conference schedule than Ohio State. The buckeyes beat no one. Baylor beat two top-10 teams.

          Fortunately, Baylor will be able to make that point with emphasis against Michigan State the same day Alabama makes the other half of the argument against OSU

          "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
          • Soaker Soaker Dec 7,2014 3:52 pm || Up

            Perhaps the Jim Harbaugh era in Ann Arbor (which starts, when, Tuesday? Wednesday?) will restore the esteem of both the U. of Michigan and the Big Ten Conference.

          • Soaker Soaker Jan 1,2015 1:40 pm || Up

            Fortunately, Baylor will be able to make that point with emphasis against Michigan State the same day Alabama makes the other half of the argument against OSU.

            The other possibility is that Baylor could validate the committee’s decision. Let’s see what happens. :-P

            • nevermoor nevermoor Jan 1,2015 3:11 pm || Up

              Yep. One half went each way.

              "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
          • doctorK doctorK Jan 1,2015 3:15 pm || Up

            I think TCU made its case pretty convincingly (FK the SEC).

            • nevermoor nevermoor Jan 1,2015 4:09 pm || Up

              Yep. We’ll see whether Ohio State validates that choice.

              "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
              • Soaker Soaker Jan 1,2015 9:47 pm || Up

                Validated, I guess. It’s ironic that the BCS would have given us the Alabama-Oregon championship game everybody thought was the “right” one (albeit with endless wailing from Tallahassee), but here we get Oregon-Ohio State.

                It illustrates why I so enjoy the 162 game baseball regular season, but really only care about October as long as the A’s are involved. The more you expand postseason, the more it becomes a tournament. That some team happens to win the World Series three times in five years, I see that as a product of random chance, not a “dynasty” as some want to say.

                • doctorK doctorK Jan 1,2015 9:54 pm || Up

                  I think the BCS would’ve given us FSU-Alabama.

                  Also, the SEC can go pound sand.

                • dmoas Jan 1,2015 10:30 pm || Up

                  The college system is horribly flawed. You don’t even play 25% of the teams in the league so to try to make any sort of determination of the best teams is foolish. Short of taking the conference champions and a couple of wild cards and playing a full on play off with those teams, there’s no way you can really say X & Y are the two best teams.

  70. nowBodhi Dec 7,2014 2:44 pm

    All right, no hunger and no games today… it would have been the 72nd birthday of the immortal songwriter and activist Harry Chapin, so I am here to energize the occasion with a legendary radio concert — sourced from the original pre-FM reel and remastered by some skillful fans — featuring the man solo in front of a wild crowd in Cleveland’s Agora Ballroom one morning at the very end of the 1970s.

    Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
  71. 5Aces 5Aces Dec 7,2014 4:17 pm

    Human sacrifice! Dogs and cats living together! MASS HYSTERIA!!!

    Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
  72. MikeV MikeV Dec 7,2014 4:17 pm

    If this doesn’t cost some people’s jobs…

    And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

    Thanks, and go As.

    • Soaker Soaker Dec 7,2014 4:25 pm || Up

      **IF** Harbaugh wants that Michigan job, which I think is his for the asking, there’s no reason to keep him for three more weeks as a lame duck.

      • nevermoor nevermoor Dec 7,2014 5:07 pm || Up

        Or, you know, any job. I’m done with him (or, at least, Roman)

        "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  73. Bed Bed Dec 7,2014 4:29 pm

    Just win, baby!

    But seriously, folks...
  74. Bed Bed Dec 7,2014 4:30 pm

    Best Raiders performance in the last three years.

    But seriously, folks...
  75. doctorK doctorK Dec 7,2014 4:30 pm

    W00T RAIDERS

    • 5Aces 5Aces Dec 7,2014 4:34 pm || Up

      1-2 weeks ago I was in the camp of shutting down DC. I believe that was…misguided.

      Now we have to be careful or we are going to end up again at like 4-12 and with the #8-9 pick like we always have.

      Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
      • doctorK doctorK Dec 7,2014 4:41 pm || Up

        I’m sure the Raiders will crap the bed against Buffalo, then get murdered in KC and Denver.

        • 5Aces 5Aces Dec 7,2014 4:44 pm || Up

          We can only hope..wait, that doesnt sound quite right. But yeah.

          Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
        • Soaker Soaker Dec 7,2014 5:36 pm || Up

          Cal has to wait one more week to clinch the 2014 Dellums Cup (most wins by a crappy East Bay football team).

  76. Bed Bed Dec 7,2014 4:30 pm

    What a lifeless performance by the 49ers.

    But seriously, folks...
    • nevermoor nevermoor Dec 7,2014 5:07 pm || Up

      Lifeless season, I think you mean.

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
      • Bed Bed Dec 7,2014 5:36 pm || Up

        The 49ers need to get their house in order.

        But seriously, folks...
        • nevermoor nevermoor Dec 7,2014 8:12 pm || Up

          I’m starting to think part of that is needing a QB.

          "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
          • Bed Bed Dec 7,2014 8:33 pm || Up

            He sure doesn’t seem to be growing as a quarterback and gosh…he looks pissed off all the time. I’m not a big body language guy but his isn’t good. If the GM and owner hate the head coach it’s hard to have a good environment. I think Harbaugh might be like Larry Brown. He’s best when he goes someplace where he can fix things and then move on after he wears everybody out.

            But seriously, folks...
            • dmoas Dec 7,2014 8:45 pm || Up

              It’s possible like what happened with Alex Smith he’s being forced to play a type of football that doesn’t fit well with his style. The problem is his style isn’t conducive to long term success in the NFL and he’s not adapting well. He seems closer, albeit better than, RG or Tebow than someone like Wilson.

          • MikeV MikeV Dec 7,2014 8:51 pm || Up

            if the playcalling continues the way it is, the QB won’t make a damn bit of difference.

            Gore was getting 5 yards per touch and they only gave him the ball TWELVE times because they insist on proving that Kaepernick can be a pocket passer. Kaepernick is not a pocket passer, he’s not going to sit and go through 3 or 4 reads and sling the ball. He’s mobile and needs to be mobile and throw on the run to be at his best — look at the pass he threw to Boldin in the end zone that Anquan landed barely out of bounds on. That was an amazing throw after getting out of the pocket even though it ended up an incompletion.

            It’s just sad to see the lack of progress made by Kaepernick after being Harbaugh’s hand picked guy and Harbaugh being the QB Guru. The offense is worse than the Singletary/Raye version right now and it’s unacceptable.

            And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

            Thanks, and go As.

            • dmoas Dec 7,2014 8:58 pm || Up

              A better example of what’s wrong was the very first play. He’s on the run with plenty of open room and as he reaches the line of scrimmage he throws between two of his receivers for a pick. It was almost like he was made afraid to just use his legs and run the ball.

              • MikeV MikeV Dec 7,2014 9:06 pm || Up

                He’s being coached out of it.

                And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

                Thanks, and go As.

                • dmoas Dec 7,2014 9:10 pm || Up

                  Yep. And whether he’ll ever be a great QB or not, forcing a guy to play a game he’s not going to be able to play is a surefire way of making him a terrible QB.

                • nevermoor nevermoor Dec 7,2014 10:20 pm || Up

                  I think the foot injury last year was an issue. But at some point he also has to stop missing guys by 5 yards.

                  "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  77. Bed Bed Dec 7,2014 4:31 pm

    Harbaugh’s trade value is trending down.

    But seriously, folks...
  78. Bed Bed Dec 7,2014 4:34 pm

    Nice end to a busy week.

    But seriously, folks...
  79. mikeA Dec 7,2014 4:46 pm

    I’d call that a successful season.

    • FreeSeatUpgrade FreeSeatUpgrade Dec 7,2014 9:37 pm || Up

      Absolutely. Such a satisfying win.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  80. Soaker Soaker Dec 7,2014 4:50 pm

    I saw (on TV) nor heard (Papa/Flores) any indication of anything other than peace, love and happiness at the Coliseum, in marked contrast to the streets of Berkeley. The NFL seems to do a pretty good job of suppressing live reports of strife in the stands, so if anything unseemly happened perhaps our FKers on the spot will let us know.

    • MikeV MikeV Dec 7,2014 4:55 pm || Up

      There were several fans arrested in the parking lot before the game, but that’s all I saw on the news.

      And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

      Thanks, and go As.

      • nevermoor nevermoor Dec 7,2014 5:10 pm || Up

        They said something about fights early in the game

        "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
        • Bed Bed Dec 7,2014 5:34 pm || Up

          People like that have made going to an NFL game less and less fun. Add in the cost and the fact football is better on TV and it’s getting harder and harder to find a reason to go to games in person.

          But seriously, folks...
    • FreeSeatUpgrade FreeSeatUpgrade Dec 7,2014 9:40 pm || Up

      I did not see any actual fights inside the stadium, and only one time when a bunch of cops were called to quell a disturbance. Many groups of fans with mixed loyalties. Good atmosphere, even in the road rage inducing parking lot departure crush.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • Englishmajor Englishmajor Dec 9,2014 11:07 am || Up

        Three of my colleagues went together: one Niners fan, one Raiders fan, one A’s fan seeing his first NFL game in person. They reported great friendliness from the Raiders faithful, even the Niners fan (who was glad he wore his Alex Smith jersey instead of Kaepernick though).

  81. nevermoor nevermoor Dec 7,2014 5:09 pm

    I had 9 wins as my prediction. I think we need to fire coaches in order to get there. Shameful that this team is the second-worst at offensive TDs in football.

    If we don’t, I’m not sure how we can win any of the remaining games this season.

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • MikeV MikeV Dec 7,2014 5:11 pm || Up

      Honestly I’d rather they keep losing at this point. Hopefully that will get Roman out, and it will get them a higher draft pick.

      And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

      Thanks, and go As.

      • nevermoor nevermoor Dec 7,2014 5:23 pm || Up

        I’m not too worried about 7-9. No way the legit NFC West teams let us steal one, and I’m not sure how San Diego is a better matchup than Oakland.

        "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • mother pucker Dec 7,2014 7:14 pm || Up

      I do not see any scenario in which Harbaugh returns.

      Even if they win out, and make an extended playoff run, a superbowl win is the only thing that would keep him in Santa Clara.

  82. MikeV MikeV Dec 7,2014 5:15 pm

    For the record though, Carr looks like a franchise guy.

    And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

    Thanks, and go As.

    • nevermoor nevermoor Dec 7,2014 5:22 pm || Up

      Dunno. Most QBs should find wide open WRs when given 5 seconds unmolested in the pocket.

      That said, he executed well.

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
      • Bed Bed Dec 7,2014 5:32 pm || Up

        He had a very nice game. I remain hopeful yet cautious about his future. A lot depends on who his next OC and HC are.

        But seriously, folks...
        • nevermoor nevermoor Dec 7,2014 8:12 pm || Up

          Yep. He has the tools, but it’s early yet.

          "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • mother pucker Dec 7,2014 7:21 pm || Up

      Eh, I dunno. He certainly looks better than say Alex Smith in his first year, but his QBR and YPA are both in the bottom five in the league.

      • Bed Bed Dec 7,2014 8:06 pm || Up

        His YPA is scary bad. Last I looked he was 33rd in the league. He needs to greatly improve reading where is targets are and not just firing the ball at whoever he looks at first.

        But seriously, folks...
  83. Bed Bed Dec 7,2014 6:36 pm

    You ever start a project that you think is going to take a few hours and three days later you’re still working on it? Life…life would be so much simpler if I was a billionaire.

    But seriously, folks...
    • 5Aces 5Aces Dec 7,2014 6:41 pm || Up

      Story of my life. Spent 2 days at work last week trying to figure out how I want to attack a problem. Either way would be fine, but instead I have 2 different projects half started. The perfect is the enemy of the good.

      Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
    • ptbnl Dec 7,2014 6:43 pm || Up

      Hell yeah – and most often exacerbated by not having the right tool for the job.

      If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
      • Bed Bed Dec 7,2014 6:47 pm || Up

        3 more Cokes should get me through it…sleep is for wimps!

        But seriously, folks...
      • Future Ed Future Ed Dec 7,2014 7:34 pm || Up

        yup.

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
      • Future Ed Future Ed Dec 7,2014 7:35 pm || Up

        and i am not spending the money for the right tool

        ever go to the tool lending library?

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
        • nevermoor nevermoor Dec 7,2014 8:13 pm || Up

          Just bill your clients for Westlaw… :-P

          "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
        • ptbnl Dec 7,2014 11:13 pm || Up

          Love the tool library.

          If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
          • batgirl batgirl Dec 8,2014 8:00 pm || Up

            I love the guys that run the tool library!

            • andeux andeux Dec 8,2014 8:05 pm || Up

              They have good sartorial sense.

              TINSTAAFK
  84. Bed Bed Dec 7,2014 8:09 pm

    This December might be the craziest month I’ve ever had. I’m going to be fried by the end of it no matter how many Cokes I drink. I’m looking forward to my 50’s…I think I’ll just coast during that decade.

    But seriously, folks...
    • Kay Temple Kirk Kay Temple Kirk Dec 7,2014 8:24 pm || Up

      I think my 50’s might end up being pretty darned busy.

      \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
      • Bed Bed Dec 7,2014 8:30 pm || Up

        Hopefully I’ll be a principal somewhere and I’ll play a lot of golf.

        But seriously, folks...
        • Kay Temple Kirk Kay Temple Kirk Dec 8,2014 3:57 pm || Up

          My hope is to be on the support staff of the first transgender US Senator.

          \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
    • Future Ed Future Ed Dec 8,2014 5:47 am || Up

      I read this as “I am going to be FIRED by the end of it no matter how many cokes I drink.”

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
  85. FreeSeatUpgrade FreeSeatUpgrade Dec 7,2014 9:42 pm

    The Raiders at home are totally dominant vs teams with red in their colors. Watch out, Bills!

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • Bed Bed Dec 7,2014 9:57 pm || Up

      I’m pretty sure we could take Nebraska at home too.

      But seriously, folks...
  86. Bed Bed Dec 7,2014 10:29 pm

    Fucking DONE!!!…now I’m all hopped up on Coke though…and that’s Coca Cola for those of you keeping score at home.

    But seriously, folks...
  87. Bed Bed Dec 7,2014 10:33 pm

    I’m either going to…

    A. Take the dog out and run around the block a few dozen times
    B. Wake my wife up and get shot down
    C. Look in the mirror and wonder who’s the fairest of them all?
    D. Watch some T.V.
    E. Volunteer work

    But seriously, folks...
    • AV AV Dec 7,2014 10:58 pm || Up

      ooh! i know this game! four euphemisms for masturbation and a lie!

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • ptbnl Dec 7,2014 11:14 pm || Up

        But who calls mister beefy “my wife”?

        If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
        • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 7,2014 11:22 pm || Up

          Mister Beefy sounds like the latest sandwich from Arby’s.

  88. Jennifer Jennifer Dec 7,2014 10:58 pm

    So I came home sick today. Went to bed around noon and have been asleep most of the day. Now what am I supposed to do?

    • colin colin Dec 8,2014 12:04 pm || Up

      A. Take the dog out and run around the block a few dozen times
      B. Wake my wife up and get shot down
      C. Look in the mirror and wonder who’s the fairest of them all?
      D. Watch some T.V.
      E. Volunteer work

      • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 8,2014 12:19 pm || Up

        I watched a movie. Just got to sleep when work called. No, I don’t want to work, I’m the one who called in!

        • dmoas Dec 8,2014 2:04 pm || Up

          Hey, you’re out sick, are you available to come in and fill in for yourself? Thanks!

          • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 8,2014 2:17 pm || Up

            That’s exactly how it went down.

            “Hey, we need a nurse for a call in. Are you available?”

            NO. I called in. Not only that, but I’ve been up for the last four hours AND I just had narcotics. I’m not physically fit to work.

  89. nowBodhi Dec 8,2014 12:22 pm

    Another day, another horrifying, tragic anniversary. It’s been 34 years since that awful night… so here comes a tribute post to one of the primary architects of the music of our lifetimes, with a rarely-seen 1969 documentary depicting 24 hours in his life. He may have only lived to be 40, but what he did while he was here ensured the name John Winston Ono Lennon is in no danger of being forgotten.

    Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
  90. Soaker Soaker Dec 8,2014 12:27 pm

    Wow, His Holiness Lord Jeter did not win the Sports Illustrated Sportsman of the Year award.

  91. Jennifer Jennifer Dec 8,2014 2:18 pm

    I want some donuts.

      • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 8,2014 2:23 pm || Up

        I like chocolate iced ones, but I won’t turn down any kind.

        • dmoas Dec 8,2014 2:27 pm || Up

          Me too. Love a good Bavarian creme filled one. But if it’s whipped cream, pass. None of that fake shit. And despite their worthlessness, I do like the sprinkles.

          • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 8,2014 2:31 pm || Up

            We’re the same person.

            Lamar’s in KC has glazed donuts made of chocolate instead of regular batter. Then it’s glazed. It’s heaven.

            Dr. Asshole is also a huge fan of glazed donuts, so every time I’m near Lamar’s I buy him a couple dozen.

            • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 8,2014 2:40 pm || Up

              Here it is.

          • AV AV Dec 8,2014 2:41 pm || Up

            didn’t wanna admit it the other day what with the cinnabun jizz vid and CK dropping f-bombs in it (the other f-bomb), but since we’re talking dirty donuts again…

            oh yeah. felcher’s specials are the best.

            *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
            • dmoas Dec 8,2014 2:59 pm || Up

              Looks like custard. Just not a big fan of the custard. But the rest of it looks awesome. I’d eat it.

            • nevermoor nevermoor Dec 8,2014 3:59 pm || Up

              Maple Bar with Custard at Bob’s Donuts on Polk is as good as it gets.

              "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
      • Jennifer Jennifer Dec 8,2014 2:26 pm || Up

        This is the photo that started it:

        • dmoas Dec 8,2014 2:28 pm || Up

          Oh damn. If you ever get to the Farmers Market in Seattle, they have a place that makes ginormous donuts. Or did the last time I was there.

  92. MikeV MikeV Dec 8,2014 2:29 pm

    I know this is old and all the music people who are in the know have heard it a million times but I just heard it and it’s fucking awesome so THERE.

    And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

    Thanks, and go As.

  93. Jennifer Jennifer Dec 8,2014 7:54 pm

    Whenever I see a spike in non-lounge comments I get scared someone else has been traded.

    • dmoas Dec 8,2014 8:15 pm || Up

      Don’t worry, I’d retire before allowing myself to go anywhere else. Wait. You should worry.

    • Kay Temple Kirk Kay Temple Kirk Dec 9,2014 3:10 pm || Up

      Tagline.

      \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
  94. Jennifer Jennifer Dec 8,2014 9:02 pm

    We have moved our chocolate lab Ozzie back inside. He was just too old to survive winter outside another year. He’s 12. I think I need to put a bell on his collar. He’s been sneaking into my room late at night and scaring the hell out of me. You can’t see his chocolate ass in the dark. He pushes the door open and stands next to my bed like a little kid.

  95. AV AV Dec 8,2014 9:33 pm

    why is coco doing the bernie while the warriors are doing the coco??

    *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • AV AV Dec 8,2014 9:34 pm || Up

      also, 13.

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Dec 8,2014 9:48 pm || Up

        Just a .900 winning percentage.

        • MikeV MikeV Dec 8,2014 10:06 pm || Up

          and we just got Klay’s brother.

          And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

          Thanks, and go As.

          • AV AV Dec 8,2014 10:48 pm || Up

            someone’s wearing the barça alternate 4 seconds into that vid. draymond green i think.

            *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
        • nevermoor nevermoor Dec 9,2014 7:46 am || Up

          Figures, the non-hated local team in the sport I care least about is the only watchable one.

          "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  96. Jennifer Jennifer Dec 9,2014 1:01 am

    Who doesn’t have digital copies of books now? Ew.

  97. Jennifer Jennifer Dec 9,2014 1:02 am

    0500 is apparently my new bedtime. Not dealing so well with that.

  98. nowBodhi Dec 9,2014 10:30 am

    Welcome to Tuesday and a prime slice of Jazz-Funk mayhem from the Doctor… that’s correct, today would have been the 82nd birthday of musician, bandleader, educator and mentor Dr. Donald Byrd, born this day in 1932. Although he left us last year, his life and legacy burns brightly, as does this electrifying set from Boston’s Jazz Workshop in the Fall of 1973, featuring DB and his young charges the Blackbyrds in a stunning FM reel remastered by yours truly for just this occasion. :D

    Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
  99. Jennifer Jennifer Dec 9,2014 12:30 pm

    I’m proud of myself. I usually get all mushy and must confess my love to everyone while I’m all messed up on painkillers. I haven’t texted my love to anyone yet this week!

  100. Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Dec 9,2014 1:22 pm

    Lawyers are the worst. Lawyers who also teach at elite business schools are probably worse than the worst.

    • nevermoor nevermoor Dec 9,2014 2:45 pm || Up

      For the record: that’s a BAD lawyer who teaches at an elite B School. Not only does he misstate the law, his lack of judgment is jaw-droppingly bad.

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
      • dmoas Dec 9,2014 3:56 pm || Up

        Rather pompous. And considering that he was probably given the price over the phone. Shown the receipt with the amount on it. And charged that same amount. Man, it must suck some serious ass to be him.

        • nevermoor nevermoor Dec 9,2014 7:09 pm || Up

          Well, it wouldn’t surprise me at all if that was an intentional business move to make some money on the margins. The complaint was fair, the refusal to accept an apology was crazy. And misstating the law just makes him look dumb.

          "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
          • Future Ed Future Ed Dec 10,2014 1:07 pm || Up

            why on earth would anyone ask for puni’s on a lunch bill?

            I have $5. No I don\'t.
            • dmoas Dec 10,2014 2:02 pm || Up

              Cause they are an asshole.

            • Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Dec 10,2014 2:10 pm || Up

              Some people take the concept of “private attorney general” a little too seriously.

    • Glorious Mundy Glorious Mundy Dec 10,2014 6:09 pm || Up

      Well this just gets more and more ridiculous. I sincerely hope the second story resulted from someone impersonating him.

      It also appears that the Globe is throwing more investigatory resources at this than they did at the Big Dig.

      • ptbnl Dec 10,2014 6:48 pm || Up

        Second story already down.

        If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.

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