Merry Thanksgiving Day of July. Here’s a new lounge to get us through Holiday Wars Episode I: The Phantom Turkey.
283 thoughts on “The Lounge where we’re all thankful for something”
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Merry Thanksgiving Day of July. Here’s a new lounge to get us through Holiday Wars Episode I: The Phantom Turkey.
You must be logged in to post a comment.
I’m cooking for twelve for tomorrow…how many buckets of KFC do I need for this size of a group?
One per person and one in reserve.
Your logic seems sound.
I’ll be there at noon. I like breasts.
We like similar things.
And Mike.
hi.
Thanks, and go As.
We know what you’re thankful for.
bacon?
Thanks, and go As.
Boobs.
por que no los dos?
Thanks, and go As.
So bacon then boobs?
bacon covered boobs?
Thanks, and go As.
Ew.
Potatoes…mashed by hand or whipped?
by hand with lumps. Whipped is no fun.
Best pie for Thanksgiving?
A. Pumpkin
B. Pecan
C. Apple
D. Other
E. Pie is evil
D. Sweet potato
Do people really eat apple pie on Thanksgiving? That’s messed up.
Hmmm…maybe Apple should just be whatever random type of fruit pie you can think of.
?
Yes. ?
I don’t know why, but fruit pies don’t seem thanksgivingy to me. It’s a day of custard type pies for me.
We got three pies…pumpkin, pecan, and cherry…the cherry is mostly for me.
See now, cherry pie sounds weird because cherries are long out of season. But I think I also just don’t like fruit pies that much. Their failure to maintain structural integrity when cut bugs me. I make an exception for blueberry because blueberries are incredible.
I only like two types of pie one of which is fruit.
ewwww! blueberries are made out of bug guts!!
—my wife, at 7 yrs old.
Your wife is 7?…Boy, and I thought I went young.
I see two. pecan and pumpkin. I assume apple is being cooked tomorrow.
is it? I eat what is severed. and there is always an apple pie.
Man, you sure are a terrible vegetarian.
He just likes veggies who’ve had their limbs severed.
head cheese is cheese, right?
This is your best typo yet.
i flew right by it the first time.
Apple pie is awesome. Sweet potato pie is gross.
180 degrees wrong.
Or is it 360 degrees right?
my brother always makes one. Its a legitimately above average pie. I usually have three slices of pie. Pumpkin, apple and the other that is brought.
Chocolate Creme.
Thanks, and go As.
Hell yeah.
humble
ANY PIE EXCEPT BANANA OR RAISIN.
My dad is insisting we get a birthday cake for the boys since he could not go to either of their parties.
D. Kraut
Best side dish for Thanksgiving?
A. Mashed potatoes
B. Stuffing
C. Sweet potatoes
D. Other
E. Side dishes are evil
Stuffing, obviously. It’s the best dish period unless the cook did something horribly wrong.
I have this green bean dish I make that is my favorite…stuffing is great too.
man in the gravy boat overboard.
This is me. I could drink that stuff.
considering my jaw, this year i’m gonna have to drink it.
i’m off to the store right now to buy some T-legs so we can make me a batch of holiday-flavored soup tomorrow. booo hooo is me!!!
(i’m a little sick of soup right now. someone just asked me if i want to watch the superclásico tomorrow. i said, i’ll take the clásico. …you got one lefty? …i got one dusty.)
I can make good and different soup if you want me to bring you some.
that’s sweet of you. i appreciate it.
Stuffing wins.
This year I’m doing these for the potato course.
D. Kraut
I like to mix my gravy with my stufffing and mashed potatoes.
and then put all of it on top of the turkey that you just put onto a french roll.
Thanksgiving Sammiches are the best thing ever.
Thanks, and go As.
Yet another reason for Thanksgiving as the best holiday. Sammiches that day. Then leftover sammiches for the weekend.
I am thankful that the Disney corporation won’t be able to siphon money out of my wallet this fast once I am dead.
That’s what you think … wait till they open the “Frozen” cryogenic facility with monthly dues.
He wouldn’t be dead then!
Just wishing he was.
I’ve had a really good year. Traveled a bunch. Met some cool people. Saw some good bands. Got a new car. I’m thankful for a lot this year, including you wonderful people.
I’m happy to hear that you had a great year. It was a good one for me as well. I’m also thankful for all the wonderful folks here at Free Kraut.
2015 is shaping up rather nicely in the travel and concert department already. I think I’m likely done with Oakland for a while, though.
It seems like you’re in a concert mode over baseball so Oakland is losing some of its appeal I would imagine.
Exactly.
Best thing about Thanksgiving?
The smell
I like that it’s a laid back holiday for the most part.
No religious aspect, no gifts to buy, no public drunkenness, no showy nationalism. It’s pretty great as these things go.
My thoughts exactly…it’s a great holiday in my book.
A holiday built entirely around food. What’s not to like.
My asshole grandpa coming to dinner.
Dead Grandpas Don’t Wear Plaid or Come to Dinner.
My feelings exactly.
A stuffy vegan mother in law who hates spices and won’t let meat be cooked in her house.
I get it, and sociologically support it, but it sure ruins what should be a day of decadence.
wait? i can’t be drunk in public… shit… what am I suppose to do before 3pm?
No one judges me for wearing sweatpants.
The time at about 830-9. Most of the family is still sleeping. I get up, make some coffee, and flip on old standards on the radio and get the boid ready for the oven. It’s my own tradition and I cant imagine a Thanksgiving without it now.
Frumpy the Clown comics from Nov ’96
The worst thing about Thanksgiving?
the smell
Sorry, that was me.
The Detroit Lions…good grief we’ve been stuck with some awful Lions games over the years.
With a special recognition award to Leon Lett.
The repetitive conversations. Yes I know turkey has a chemical that makes you sleepy. Yes it’s ridiculous and shameful that people are camping out and in some cases shopping on thanksgiving. Yes maybe that’s a classist thing to say since that may be the only way some can afford a flat screen. Yes I know we are consuming an alarming amount of butter and salt. Etc.
This just means you need to start telling dirty jokes.
I did in fact barely know her.
I’m going to make it a point to say this phrase tomorrow…only my wife will get it.
Maybe I’ll just start quoting randomly from lounges. “This cranberry sauce makes more sense if you eat it in the voice of Estes Kefauver.”
I love it.
yep, 3 days at the inlaws full of:
it’s called black thursday because…
you know some people are frying turkeys now…
boy that xmas shopping season starts earlier and earlier each year…
I totally “bought” a christmas present already.
A 60’s Japanese girl pop comp. I paid no cash. I traded a few parking lot bootleg tshirts for them.
Your married to a 60 year old Japanese girl…Boy, and I thought I married old.
OMIFKINGOD. The inanity drove me in(s)ane!
i can’t think of a sentence here that doesn’t have 3 days at the in-laws in it.
3 days at the inlaws pretty much is a sentence.
Hell, your fellow random inmates at the county jail would probably be a more interesting lot.
European collaborators on a deadline.
But no B2P telecon tomorrow. U-S-A! U-S-A!
Quislings are less offensive when they’re not under pressure.
Cleaning dishes can be pretty hard.
How many cooks is too many cooks?
How many KFC broth buckets did you get?
One per person and one in reserve…I pay attention.
Sorry
I think ten people must have sent me that thing when it went viral…very odd piece of work.
It’s a strange one. Usually I don’t go for visual comedy based on random stuff happening, but the TV/Film references make it alright by me.
I admired the effort…it got a little too weird for me in parts but it sticks with you.
In general I’ve found that parakeets are limited thespians.
You need at least three keets before they can really start tapping into the emotional content of the material.
I learned this during one of my first acting classes.
I really wish that the NFL package wasn’t only on DirecTV. It’s the only reason I keep this otherwise lackluster product. The darn thing goes down all the time. I think I’ll blame Roger Goodell.
I assume a spork is a spoon that’s into comic books.
I assume a spoon is a spork that’s afraid to admit it’s into comic books.
I don’t want to get all political here but…cranberries are tangy.
Best Thanksgiving Day themed movie?
Alice’s Restaurant? (I can’t think of any others.)
Planes, Trains and Automobiles would be my first choice by a mile.
those aren’t pillows.
I love that movie.
Hopefully this counts: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poultrygeist:_Night_of_the_Chicken_Dead
ooh!! the ice storm. there’s one that brings the family together.
I know that movie was good because I can still clearly remember the way it bummed me out when I saw it in the theater.
Ang Lee films make Brian like Television.
More depressing Canadian director: Ang Lee or Atom Egoyan?
That’s tough…I admit they both have talent but I don’t tend to enjoy their films. I guess Lee has tried to make a few films that are lighter and more mainstream so I’ll go Egoyan.
Ang Lee is garbage. He makes horrible horrible films. They’re slow as fuck whether they need to be or not.
Which one of those guys did Strange Brew?
I’m pretty sure that was Cronenberg
Now I really want to see David Cronenberg’s Strange Brew…Jeremy Irons plays both Bob and Doug as they try and drown each other in a tub full of beer.
When I think of Thanksgiving films I dont think of the setting, but the instead the films we would watch with exMrs Aces family. Traditional flicks to bring the family together: Scarface, Blood In Blood Out, Evil Dead.
Anybody who says they love all four seasons is lying about at least two of them.
I love Frankie and Bob. I forget who the other two are.
The awesome thing about FK is that you can rest assured that if someone sets up a delivery for a punchline about Frankie Valli, and you’re not there to deliver it, someone else will have your back and make the joke. You don’t have to worry about leaving your straight man flapping in the wind, ‘cuz you know someone’s got your back.
When you presume you make an abbreviation for president out of u & me.
Little known fact…Billy Joel’s song River of Dreams is based on the book Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad.
Little known fact- “We Didn’t Start The Fire” is based on sworn depositions from Billy Joel and Christie Brinkley’s arson trial of 1986.
Alone in a lounge…well, this is usually when I start talking about VORP.
Little known fact…Francis Ford Coppola’s film Apocalypse Now is based on Billy Joel’s song River of Dreams.
Best final boss battle in a video game?
Mike Tyson
Solid choice…I can’t remember if I ever beat him or not. Glass Joe, however…went down and he went down hard.
Kefka
Ganon.
Good news…my new autobiography “Five Inches, But It’s Thick” should be out by next Christmas.
I’ll wait for the film adaptation.
Make sure you see it in imax.
The Ricky Schroder comeback begins.
Virtual reality adaptation on my oculus rift
First-person shooter
I never knew that I wanted a Moto 360 smartwatch thingy until now.
Thanks, and go As.
I’m gonna need some Jesus or something tomorrow, just so I don’t kill the person who is my mother’s father. If he calls me fat I’m slitting his throat.
Damn…I wish I could send you my grandpa…total sweetheart of a man and I was his favorite because I rock.
My fondest memory is living with my grandpa in 1993, hiding as he screamed at my grandma that I was a fat, lazy piece of shit. I was 9.
That’s horrible…sometimes family really sucks.
Obviously none of our business but is he like this with everyone or have you just won a special place where his heart should be?
Just me.
As a nurse I think you have an obligation to put some meds in his stuffing.
He’s not worth losing my license.
You’re tougher than me…I doubt I’d even show up if I knew someone like that was coming.
The grandmother I have that is still alive was actually a very dark and often mean woman but she was always nice to me…she really hated all her husbands and sons though.
We should hook them up…she’s already killed off five husbands.
See, this is why I hate the societal expectation that you simply accept family as family. They get their fucking 18 years to prove themselves worthy. If they fail and neglect that. Fuck them.
We didn’t speak today.
Sounds like any holiday my brother invites my dad to that I’m at. Thankfully the bullshit I’ve noticed all my life is finally being noticed by my brother, so hopefully soon that won’t be an issue anymore.
Bleg: anyone know places to buy vintage technology that isn’t available on eBay? Specific example is Zenith CruisePad (~20 years old tablet) but it’s going to be a recurring problem in my life.
I’m curious…what do you do with vintage technology devices?
I assume it has something to do with time travel.
Assembling such things is a (fun) part of the patent litigation process.
Prior art FTW.
Yep.
Any sentence that has patent litigation process in it sounds like fun.
Ain’t no party like a claim construction party.
I kinda wanna rename myself Zenith Cruisepad now.
Along those lines, I was a huge fan of the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy as a kid, but just learned yesterday that the Ford Prefect was a car.
took me forever too. i think it was the early 2000s for me
I hear bicentennials go both ways.
Only 62 more years until “yeah-they’ll tri anything…”!
Yo Bed, is Arkansas one of those weird ass places where they call stuffing “dressing?”
I’ve heard it both ways. To be fair though the only true Arkansans at my place tomorrow are my children and Baby Phil has no real opinion on the matter.
So Arkansas is bi?
Well, of course…we just don’t admit it.
I hear biplanes fly both ways.
I hear bicycles…well, you know.
Thanks again for giving me a place to be silly and remember…DEUKMEJIAN!
Happy Thanksgiving, you weird and wonderful FKers!
you guys are slackers. by 7:50, i had already won a pie
at noon we were still working hard on our vow not to get out of bed till noon.
I was in your old neighborhood. Long beach.
sigh. i miss long beach like i miss being 22, irresponsible, and unhangoverable.
this one goes out to all you turkey necks.
Hello and the Happiest of Thanksgivinz to all! Today is really two holidays, being as it is the birthday of possibly the singlemost influential musician of all time, born this day in 1942 and sadly gone from us for many the decade now. Don’t be a turkey and blog with us now for a sweet DVD, sourced from TV station master tapes, of the thoroughly immortal Jimi Hendrix, live and in living black-n-white onstage in Stockholm in January of 1969 (with a special bonus from 1967, also from station masters). Put it on and chop down that stuffing with the edge of your hand! Fall, pumpkin pie… just don’t fall on me :P
Niners gonna make me puke up dinner.
Fucking losers.
Thanks, and go As.
I still think 9 wins and miss the playoffs.
I don’t understand chicken and waffles.
Hey, FSU, the newspaper I picked up off the driveway this morning tells me your sky blue fellas gave a drubbing to my sky blue fellas.
I cannot tell you how made that makes me and how it has ruined our friendship.
I also believe they were playing basketball, but I didn’t make it past the sub headline, so it really could have been anything.
If it makes you feel any better both teams were in that game only because they lost to underdogs the day before. So we both fell short of expectations and can reasonably be called losers.
Your shade of blue was quite pleasant until you sullied it with yellow, making it look like I imagine Tom Bombadil looks.
{Waits eagerly for tomorrow’s paper to hit Ed’s driveway.}
Just got home. we don’t get newspapers here. AM I going to have to look football up on the internet?
hmm. It appears that we have a conflict as well.
I just bought 60 rolls of paper towels for 40 bucks.
Thanks black friday.
Thanks, and go As.
I hesitate to ask, but what are you going to do with 40 rolls of paper towels? I’m not sure I went through a 6-pack when housetraining a puppy.
No, 60!
Well..
A) I’m housetraining a puppy.
B) I have a garage with a laundry area and shelves
C) I mean… I’m good on paper towels for like YEARS now. I bought one of the costco packs of like 8 rolls when I moved into this place 6 months ago and just finished using it.
Thanks, and go As.
Oh and say hi to Hulk.
Thanks, and go As.
HULK!?!
he was the biggest of the litter.
also he runs over shit. hulk smash.
Thanks, and go As.
Are you trying to get me to fling myself at you?
is it working?
Thanks, and go As.
Maybe
also when he does something wrong I can say YOU CAN’T BE THAT HULK. but that’s a soccer reference that only AV will get.
Thanks, and go As.
OMG!!!!!
Love!
Where do you store 60 rolls of paper towels? My grandma used to hoard toilet paper. She had an old laundry chute type thing from the top floor to the second floor, filled with hundreds of rolls of TP.
I hope you write a book someday.
You’re cute.
Cute and a great personality…add in the fact I own property in Arkansas and it’s easy to see me as the total package.
to catch you up, the superclásico finally lived up to its name. good game. boca stunned at river from the 15th second and marched to a 3–1 victory thanks to gigliotti who lived up to his name as river-killer and was just on fire. thus the team could weather martinez’s absence, you’ll remember, predicated by a really nasty tactical… erm, i mean tackle from behind during the first minutes of the first leg.
the crowd gave a great welcoming, but with a record-book-checkingly quick penalty for boca on the first play and a barovero who couldn’t handle gigliotti’s cannonball, they suddenly and quietly fell out of the game. river scored on a lucky play, when a shot on goal went so wide it turned into a great cross, but most of the night was spent struggling in the midfield in a tense match of footwork, and at the other end, always between barovero and gigliotti, one on one.
boca’s second came with a lob smart enough fall right in front of gigliotti, the last player who was not offside with an advancing defense, and thus surprise everybody, well, thankfully not the linesman. and the hat-trick came on a header when gigliotti found himself alone, albeit in mid-air and flying toward the corner of the goal that barovero was crowding, with a ball in front of his face, which he had the presence of mind to send to the far post.
nahhhhh…
river won 1-0. gigliotti was cursed. he softied the penalty, made barovero a hero. he got called offside, wrongly by a couple of feet. and the hat-trick, yeah, he sent it to the far post. but it went wide.
good game though.
and so river goes to meet pablo’s team at the finals. that being another international final without a brasilian candidate. but libertadores is right around the corner.
gotta plan travel better.
what else could you possibly be doing thanksgiving thursday at 3:45pm??
Masturbating.
Well, that explains the nutmeg smell.
Pumpkin Spice (Ejacu)Latte
Tis the season.
Boner broth.
asvd
is she the one married to the soccer player?
My RAD tech friend is pregnant with a boy. She’s decorating his room in Avengers stuff. I’m probably more excited that she is.
Superhero propaganda is not for kids.
Ya wanna raise a little six year old terror? Let him think his destiny is to grow up to be Iron Man.
you know what else is weird?
bone broth.
Ok fuck it… Im making you soup… does thursday during the day work for delivery? Email me your dietary restrictions and your address.
Thanks, and go As.
absolutely!
My dick isn’t big enough for this pissing contest. Also, I give no fucks.
Well, you know how big mine is…also how thick.
You really emphasize the thickness.
Well, I have to emphasize something.
Have you tried a hat or scarf? Maker’s Mark makes a bottle scarf that I think would work.
Hey, hey…I have a GREAT personality.
i don’t know what bone broth has to do with a pissing contest.
oh wait.
Golden Shower is a really great brand of bone broth.
I can neither confirm nor deny that I watched the Star Wars trailer three times today. I can also neither confirm nor deny that the Millennium Falcon shot gave me a woody…yes, this is the nerdiest thing I’ve posted in at least an hour.
Can someone please tell me what the hell is up with that lightsaber with the little blades coming out of the side? What purpose can that possibly serve?
the two main purposes of any of these movies: mark & ing.
To catch the blade if it slides down the side? Seems to be like a broadsword. It’s… lame.
One of the things I notice about being married over being single is candles. I’m not sure I’ve ever bought one and yet my house has enough of them now to burn down the entire state.
Thankful that this is my last international trip of the year.
Incidentally I will likely have an unused global upgrade certificate that will expire at year’s end … if anyone if flying with United soon (especially internationally) and would like to upgrade, let me know.
One of my co-workers is talking about a London or Berlin trip in December, but that’s awfully attenuated.
I’d rather it were used than not.
I can ask him if you don’t have better takers (but would totally understand if you do)
Do you mean it has to be booked by Dec. 31, or the flight actually has to occur before Dec 31?
The flight has to occur before 12/31.
Gotcha–that rules me out! Thanks anyway :)
Son of a… I just flew United international on the way back home yesterday. This is what I get for not compulsively reading FK at all times
Possible last match of the great Thierry Henry’s career now airing on NBC Sports Network. Though it won’t be the last if he keeps playing the way he has for the first 35 minutes.
That was a hell of a goal by Cahill
Thanks, and go As.
No kidding. And a hell of an intervention by the keeper to deny him another on TiTi’s sick cross.
Must be the power play.
That Davies goal was so lucky. Happy for him though.
FYI DFA, the Red Bulls’ coach is rocking a chunky hipster cardigan.
My house smells of Arby’s and buyers remorse.
I really thought this place would be burned to the ground by now.
It was on fire but we put it out with all the pissing.
LOL
Hah hah, nice.
I just got the “Yoenis Cespedes is ours and you can’t have him.” tagline again, and I haz a sad whenever that comes up. Should we remove it from the list?
I think we should purge about half the taglines, to keep it fresh. But I don’t wish to contemplate the process of doing so.
You can take my taglines from my cold, dead hands
Half is too much. We should merely decimate their ranks to send a message to the rest.
If half is too much, then decimating is WAAAAAY too much.
I don’t think that word means what you think it means.
never thought about it. Reduce by 10?
1 out of 10 gets killed.
by the other 9, originally. they drew lots to see who got it. roman army discipline.
that’s rude
Roman Army Discipline is the root of everything that’s wrong with the world today.
I thought it was their showers.
The problems are legion.
doesn’t sound so bad, really.
Don’t expect me to do math right now.
If you’re trying to send a message, why don’t you just trade the best of the bunch to Toronto?
Because Canada is too awesome and anything they could offer in return would be better than what we’d be giving them.