The Lounge where we’re all thankful for something ← FREE KRAUT!

The Lounge where we’re all thankful for something 283

Merry Thanksgiving Day of July. Here’s a new lounge to get us through Holiday Wars Episode I: The Phantom Turkey.

283 thoughts on “The Lounge where we’re all thankful for something

  1. Bed Nov 26,2014 2:24 pm

    I’m cooking for twelve for tomorrow…how many buckets of KFC do I need for this size of a group?

    But seriously, folks...
  2. Bed Nov 26,2014 2:36 pm

    Potatoes…mashed by hand or whipped?

    But seriously, folks...
    • DFA Nov 27,2014 11:51 am || Up

      by hand with lumps. Whipped is no fun.

      In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
  3. Bed Nov 26,2014 2:38 pm

    Best pie for Thanksgiving?

    A. Pumpkin
    B. Pecan
    C. Apple
    D. Other
    E. Pie is evil

    But seriously, folks...
    • Glorious Mundy Nov 26,2014 2:39 pm || Up

      D. Sweet potato

      Do people really eat apple pie on Thanksgiving? That’s messed up.

      • Bed Nov 26,2014 2:42 pm || Up

        Hmmm…maybe Apple should just be whatever random type of fruit pie you can think of.

        But seriously, folks...
      • andeux Nov 26,2014 2:50 pm || Up

        ?

        Yes. ?

        TINSTAAFK
        • Glorious Mundy Nov 26,2014 2:58 pm || Up

          I don’t know why, but fruit pies don’t seem thanksgivingy to me. It’s a day of custard type pies for me.

          • Bed Nov 26,2014 3:01 pm || Up

            We got three pies…pumpkin, pecan, and cherry…the cherry is mostly for me.

            But seriously, folks...
            • Glorious Mundy Nov 26,2014 3:05 pm || Up

              See now, cherry pie sounds weird because cherries are long out of season. But I think I also just don’t like fruit pies that much. Their failure to maintain structural integrity when cut bugs me. I make an exception for blueberry because blueberries are incredible.

              • Bed Nov 26,2014 3:13 pm || Up

                I only like two types of pie one of which is fruit.

                But seriously, folks...
              • AV Nov 26,2014 3:48 pm || Up

                ewwww! blueberries are made out of bug guts!!

                —my wife, at 7 yrs old.

                *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
                • Bed Nov 26,2014 3:50 pm || Up

                  Your wife is 7?…Boy, and I thought I went young.

                  But seriously, folks...
            • Future Ed Nov 26,2014 3:14 pm || Up

              I see two. pecan and pumpkin. I assume apple is being cooked tomorrow.

              I have $5. No I don\'t.
      • Future Ed Nov 26,2014 3:13 pm || Up

        is it? I eat what is severed. and there is always an apple pie.

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
        • FreeSeatUpgrade Nov 26,2014 3:18 pm || Up

          Man, you sure are a terrible vegetarian.

          "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
          • Bed Nov 26,2014 3:19 pm || Up

            He just likes veggies who’ve had their limbs severed.

            But seriously, folks...
          • Future Ed Nov 26,2014 3:22 pm || Up

            head cheese is cheese, right?

            I have $5. No I don\'t.
        • Glorious Mundy Nov 26,2014 3:19 pm || Up

          This is your best typo yet.

          • DFA Nov 27,2014 11:53 am || Up

            i flew right by it the first time.

            In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
      • FreeSeatUpgrade Nov 26,2014 3:15 pm || Up

        Apple pie is awesome. Sweet potato pie is gross.

        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
        • nevermoor Nov 26,2014 7:34 pm || Up

          180 degrees wrong.

          "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
      • DFA Nov 27,2014 11:52 am || Up

        my brother always makes one. Its a legitimately above average pie. I usually have three slices of pie. Pumpkin, apple and the other that is brought.

        In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
    • MikeV Nov 26,2014 2:43 pm || Up

      Chocolate Creme.

      And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

      Thanks, and go As.

    • Future Ed Nov 26,2014 3:12 pm || Up

      humble

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • Jennifer Nov 26,2014 3:28 pm || Up

      ANY PIE EXCEPT BANANA OR RAISIN.

    • 5Aces Nov 26,2014 7:33 pm || Up

      My dad is insisting we get a birthday cake for the boys since he could not go to either of their parties.

      Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
    • andeux Nov 27,2014 8:34 am || Up

      D. Kraut

      TINSTAAFK
  4. Bed Nov 26,2014 2:41 pm

    Best side dish for Thanksgiving?

    A. Mashed potatoes
    B. Stuffing
    C. Sweet potatoes
    D. Other
    E. Side dishes are evil

    But seriously, folks...
    • Glorious Mundy Nov 26,2014 2:43 pm || Up

      Stuffing, obviously. It’s the best dish period unless the cook did something horribly wrong.

      • Bed Nov 26,2014 2:51 pm || Up

        I have this green bean dish I make that is my favorite…stuffing is great too.

        But seriously, folks...
    • AV Nov 26,2014 3:50 pm || Up

      man in the gravy boat overboard.

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • colin Nov 26,2014 3:53 pm || Up

        This is me. I could drink that stuff.

        • AV Nov 26,2014 4:07 pm || Up

          considering my jaw, this year i’m gonna have to drink it.

          i’m off to the store right now to buy some T-legs so we can make me a batch of holiday-flavored soup tomorrow. booo hooo is me!!!

          (i’m a little sick of soup right now. someone just asked me if i want to watch the superclásico tomorrow. i said, i’ll take the clásico. …you got one lefty? …i got one dusty.)

          *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
          • DFA Nov 27,2014 12:06 pm || Up

            I can make good and different soup if you want me to bring you some.

            In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
            • AV Nov 27,2014 12:12 pm || Up

              that’s sweet of you. i appreciate it.

              *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • nevermoor Nov 26,2014 7:35 pm || Up

      Stuffing wins.

      This year I’m doing these for the potato course.

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • andeux Nov 27,2014 8:34 am || Up

      D. Kraut

      TINSTAAFK
    • DFA Nov 27,2014 11:55 am || Up

      I like to mix my gravy with my stufffing and mashed potatoes.

      In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
      • AV Nov 27,2014 12:10 pm || Up

        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • MikeV Nov 27,2014 1:07 pm || Up

        and then put all of it on top of the turkey that you just put onto a french roll.

        Thanksgiving Sammiches are the best thing ever.

        And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

        Thanks, and go As.

        • 5Aces Nov 27,2014 9:03 pm || Up

          Yet another reason for Thanksgiving as the best holiday. Sammiches that day. Then leftover sammiches for the weekend.

          Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
  5. FreeSeatUpgrade Nov 26,2014 3:17 pm

    I am thankful that the Disney corporation won’t be able to siphon money out of my wallet this fast once I am dead.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • ptbnl Nov 26,2014 3:25 pm || Up

      That’s what you think … wait till they open the “Frozen” cryogenic facility with monthly dues.

      If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
  6. Jennifer Nov 26,2014 3:31 pm

    I’ve had a really good year. Traveled a bunch. Met some cool people. Saw some good bands. Got a new car. I’m thankful for a lot this year, including you wonderful people.

    • Bed Nov 26,2014 3:36 pm || Up

      I’m happy to hear that you had a great year. It was a good one for me as well. I’m also thankful for all the wonderful folks here at Free Kraut.

      But seriously, folks...
      • Jennifer Nov 26,2014 3:41 pm || Up

        2015 is shaping up rather nicely in the travel and concert department already. I think I’m likely done with Oakland for a while, though.

        • Bed Nov 26,2014 3:43 pm || Up

          It seems like you’re in a concert mode over baseball so Oakland is losing some of its appeal I would imagine.

          But seriously, folks...
  7. Bed Nov 26,2014 3:38 pm

    Best thing about Thanksgiving?

    But seriously, folks...
    • Glorious Mundy Nov 26,2014 3:39 pm || Up

      The smell

    • Bed Nov 26,2014 3:40 pm || Up

      I like that it’s a laid back holiday for the most part.

      But seriously, folks...
      • Glorious Mundy Nov 26,2014 3:43 pm || Up

        No religious aspect, no gifts to buy, no public drunkenness, no showy nationalism. It’s pretty great as these things go.

        • Bed Nov 26,2014 3:44 pm || Up

          My thoughts exactly…it’s a great holiday in my book.

          But seriously, folks...
          • Glorious Mundy Nov 26,2014 3:45 pm || Up

            A holiday built entirely around food. What’s not to like.

            • Jennifer Nov 26,2014 3:46 pm || Up

              My asshole grandpa coming to dinner.

              • Bed Nov 26,2014 3:53 pm || Up

                Dead Grandpas Don’t Wear Plaid or Come to Dinner.

                But seriously, folks...
            • colin Nov 26,2014 3:53 pm || Up

              My feelings exactly.

            • Kay Temple Kirk Nov 27,2014 8:47 pm || Up

              A stuffy vegan mother in law who hates spices and won’t let meat be cooked in her house.

              I get it, and sociologically support it, but it sure ruins what should be a day of decadence.

              \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
        • DFA Nov 27,2014 12:08 pm || Up

          wait? i can’t be drunk in public… shit… what am I suppose to do before 3pm?

          In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
      • Jennifer Nov 26,2014 3:46 pm || Up

        No one judges me for wearing sweatpants.

    • 5Aces Nov 26,2014 7:37 pm || Up

      The time at about 830-9. Most of the family is still sleeping. I get up, make some coffee, and flip on old standards on the radio and get the boid ready for the oven. It’s my own tradition and I cant imagine a Thanksgiving without it now.

      Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
    • East Bay Evans Nov 26,2014 8:43 pm || Up
  8. Bed Nov 26,2014 3:39 pm

    The worst thing about Thanksgiving?

    But seriously, folks...
    • Jennifer Nov 26,2014 3:40 pm || Up

      the smell

    • Bed Nov 26,2014 3:41 pm || Up

      The Detroit Lions…good grief we’ve been stuck with some awful Lions games over the years.

      But seriously, folks...
      • Soaker Nov 26,2014 3:58 pm || Up

        With a special recognition award to Leon Lett.

        What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
    • Glorious Mundy Nov 26,2014 3:50 pm || Up

      The repetitive conversations. Yes I know turkey has a chemical that makes you sleepy. Yes it’s ridiculous and shameful that people are camping out and in some cases shopping on thanksgiving. Yes maybe that’s a classist thing to say since that may be the only way some can afford a flat screen. Yes I know we are consuming an alarming amount of butter and salt. Etc.

      • Bed Nov 26,2014 3:52 pm || Up

        This just means you need to start telling dirty jokes.

        But seriously, folks...
        • colin Nov 26,2014 3:55 pm || Up

          I did in fact barely know her.

          • Bed Nov 26,2014 3:56 pm || Up

            I’m going to make it a point to say this phrase tomorrow…only my wife will get it.

            But seriously, folks...
        • Glorious Mundy Nov 26,2014 3:56 pm || Up

          Maybe I’ll just start quoting randomly from lounges. “This cranberry sauce makes more sense if you eat it in the voice of Estes Kefauver.”

      • AV Nov 26,2014 3:57 pm || Up

        yep, 3 days at the inlaws full of:

        it’s called black thursday because…

        you know some people are frying turkeys now…

        boy that xmas shopping season starts earlier and earlier each year…

        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
        • Future Ed Nov 26,2014 4:20 pm || Up

          I totally “bought” a christmas present already.

          A 60’s Japanese girl pop comp. I paid no cash. I traded a few parking lot bootleg tshirts for them.

          I have $5. No I don\'t.
          • Bed Nov 26,2014 4:22 pm || Up

            Your married to a 60 year old Japanese girl…Boy, and I thought I married old.

            But seriously, folks...
      • Kay Temple Kirk Nov 27,2014 8:49 pm || Up

        OMIFKINGOD. The inanity drove me in(s)ane!

        \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
    • AV Nov 26,2014 3:52 pm || Up

      i can’t think of a sentence here that doesn’t have 3 days at the in-laws in it.

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • Kay Temple Kirk Nov 27,2014 8:51 pm || Up

        3 days at the inlaws pretty much is a sentence.

        Hell, your fellow random inmates at the county jail would probably be a more interesting lot.

        \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
    • ptbnl Nov 26,2014 3:56 pm || Up

      European collaborators on a deadline.

      If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
      • colin Nov 26,2014 3:57 pm || Up

        But no B2P telecon tomorrow. U-S-A! U-S-A!

      • Glorious Mundy Nov 26,2014 4:01 pm || Up

        Quislings are less offensive when they’re not under pressure.

    • East Bay Evans Nov 26,2014 8:44 pm || Up

      Cleaning dishes can be pretty hard.

  9. Bed Nov 26,2014 3:54 pm

    How many cooks is too many cooks?

    But seriously, folks...
    • ptbnl Nov 26,2014 3:55 pm || Up

      How many KFC broth buckets did you get?

      If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
      • Bed Nov 26,2014 3:59 pm || Up

        One per person and one in reserve…I pay attention.

        But seriously, folks...
    • East Bay Evans Nov 26,2014 6:29 pm || Up
      • Bed Nov 26,2014 7:04 pm || Up

        I think ten people must have sent me that thing when it went viral…very odd piece of work.

        But seriously, folks...
        • East Bay Evans Nov 26,2014 7:21 pm || Up

          It’s a strange one. Usually I don’t go for visual comedy based on random stuff happening, but the TV/Film references make it alright by me.

          • Bed Nov 26,2014 7:29 pm || Up

            I admired the effort…it got a little too weird for me in parts but it sticks with you.

            But seriously, folks...
  10. Bed Nov 26,2014 3:58 pm

    In general I’ve found that parakeets are limited thespians.

    But seriously, folks...
    • Glorious Mundy Nov 26,2014 4:00 pm || Up

      You need at least three keets before they can really start tapping into the emotional content of the material.

      • Bed Nov 26,2014 4:11 pm || Up

        I learned this during one of my first acting classes.

        But seriously, folks...
  11. Bed Nov 26,2014 6:28 pm

    I really wish that the NFL package wasn’t only on DirecTV. It’s the only reason I keep this otherwise lackluster product. The darn thing goes down all the time. I think I’ll blame Roger Goodell.

    But seriously, folks...
  12. Bed Nov 26,2014 6:49 pm

    I assume a spork is a spoon that’s into comic books.

    But seriously, folks...
  13. Bed Nov 26,2014 6:50 pm

    I assume a spoon is a spork that’s afraid to admit it’s into comic books.

    But seriously, folks...
  14. Bed Nov 26,2014 6:51 pm

    I don’t want to get all political here but…cranberries are tangy.

    But seriously, folks...
  15. Bed Nov 26,2014 6:52 pm

    Best Thanksgiving Day themed movie?

    But seriously, folks...
    • andeux Nov 26,2014 7:05 pm || Up

      Alice’s Restaurant? (I can’t think of any others.)

      TINSTAAFK
      • Bed Nov 26,2014 7:09 pm || Up

        Planes, Trains and Automobiles would be my first choice by a mile.

        But seriously, folks...
        • AV Nov 26,2014 7:11 pm || Up

          those aren’t pillows.

          *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • East Bay Evans Nov 26,2014 7:21 pm || Up
    • AV Nov 26,2014 7:25 pm || Up

      ooh!! the ice storm. there’s one that brings the family together.

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • Glorious Mundy Nov 26,2014 7:30 pm || Up

        I know that movie was good because I can still clearly remember the way it bummed me out when I saw it in the theater.

      • Bed Nov 26,2014 7:30 pm || Up

        Ang Lee films make Brian like Television.

        But seriously, folks...
        • Glorious Mundy Nov 26,2014 7:33 pm || Up

          More depressing Canadian director: Ang Lee or Atom Egoyan?

          • Bed Nov 26,2014 7:37 pm || Up

            That’s tough…I admit they both have talent but I don’t tend to enjoy their films. I guess Lee has tried to make a few films that are lighter and more mainstream so I’ll go Egoyan.

            But seriously, folks...
            • dmoas Nov 27,2014 7:01 pm || Up

              Ang Lee is garbage. He makes horrible horrible films. They’re slow as fuck whether they need to be or not.

          • andeux Nov 26,2014 7:42 pm || Up

            Which one of those guys did Strange Brew?

            TINSTAAFK
            • Bed Nov 26,2014 7:44 pm || Up

              I’m pretty sure that was Cronenberg

              But seriously, folks...
              • Bed Nov 26,2014 7:49 pm || Up

                Now I really want to see David Cronenberg’s Strange Brew…Jeremy Irons plays both Bob and Doug as they try and drown each other in a tub full of beer.

                But seriously, folks...
    • 5Aces Nov 26,2014 7:41 pm || Up

      When I think of Thanksgiving films I dont think of the setting, but the instead the films we would watch with exMrs Aces family. Traditional flicks to bring the family together: Scarface, Blood In Blood Out, Evil Dead.

      Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
  16. Bed Nov 26,2014 6:53 pm

    Anybody who says they love all four seasons is lying about at least two of them.

    But seriously, folks...
    • Glorious Mundy Nov 26,2014 7:21 pm || Up

      I love Frankie and Bob. I forget who the other two are.

      • Kay Temple Kirk Nov 27,2014 8:53 pm || Up

        The awesome thing about FK is that you can rest assured that if someone sets up a delivery for a punchline about Frankie Valli, and you’re not there to deliver it, someone else will have your back and make the joke. You don’t have to worry about leaving your straight man flapping in the wind, ‘cuz you know someone’s got your back.

        \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
  17. Bed Nov 26,2014 6:56 pm

    When you presume you make an abbreviation for president out of u & me.

    But seriously, folks...
  18. Bed Nov 26,2014 6:58 pm

    Little known fact…Billy Joel’s song River of Dreams is based on the book Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad.

    But seriously, folks...
    • Kay Temple Kirk Nov 27,2014 8:54 pm || Up

      Little known fact- “We Didn’t Start The Fire” is based on sworn depositions from Billy Joel and Christie Brinkley’s arson trial of 1986.

      \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
  19. Bed Nov 26,2014 6:59 pm

    Alone in a lounge…well, this is usually when I start talking about VORP.

    But seriously, folks...
  20. Bed Nov 26,2014 7:01 pm

    Little known fact…Francis Ford Coppola’s film Apocalypse Now is based on Billy Joel’s song River of Dreams.

    But seriously, folks...
  21. Bed Nov 26,2014 7:10 pm

    Best final boss battle in a video game?

    But seriously, folks...
  22. Bed Nov 26,2014 7:17 pm

    Good news…my new autobiography “Five Inches, But It’s Thick” should be out by next Christmas.

    But seriously, folks...
  23. MikeV Nov 26,2014 7:25 pm

    I never knew that I wanted a Moto 360 smartwatch thingy until now.


    And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

    Thanks, and go As.

  24. Jennifer Nov 26,2014 7:33 pm

    I’m gonna need some Jesus or something tomorrow, just so I don’t kill the person who is my mother’s father. If he calls me fat I’m slitting his throat.

    • Bed Nov 26,2014 7:41 pm || Up

      Damn…I wish I could send you my grandpa…total sweetheart of a man and I was his favorite because I rock.

      But seriously, folks...
      • Jennifer Nov 26,2014 7:47 pm || Up

        My fondest memory is living with my grandpa in 1993, hiding as he screamed at my grandma that I was a fat, lazy piece of shit. I was 9.

        • Bed Nov 26,2014 7:51 pm || Up

          That’s horrible…sometimes family really sucks.

          But seriously, folks...
        • 5Aces Nov 26,2014 7:57 pm || Up

          Obviously none of our business but is he like this with everyone or have you just won a special place where his heart should be?

          Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
          • Jennifer Nov 26,2014 7:58 pm || Up

            Just me.

            • 5Aces Nov 26,2014 8:00 pm || Up

              As a nurse I think you have an obligation to put some meds in his stuffing.

              Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
              • Jennifer Nov 26,2014 8:02 pm || Up

                He’s not worth losing my license.

                • Bed Nov 26,2014 8:04 pm || Up

                  You’re tougher than me…I doubt I’d even show up if I knew someone like that was coming.

                  But seriously, folks...
                • Bed Nov 26,2014 8:08 pm || Up

                  The grandmother I have that is still alive was actually a very dark and often mean woman but she was always nice to me…she really hated all her husbands and sons though.

                  But seriously, folks...
                • Bed Nov 26,2014 8:09 pm || Up

                  We should hook them up…she’s already killed off five husbands.

                  But seriously, folks...
            • dmoas Nov 27,2014 7:14 pm || Up

              See, this is why I hate the societal expectation that you simply accept family as family. They get their fucking 18 years to prove themselves worthy. If they fail and neglect that. Fuck them.

              • Jennifer Nov 27,2014 8:18 pm || Up

                We didn’t speak today.

                • dmoas Nov 27,2014 9:41 pm || Up

                  Sounds like any holiday my brother invites my dad to that I’m at. Thankfully the bullshit I’ve noticed all my life is finally being noticed by my brother, so hopefully soon that won’t be an issue anymore.

  25. nevermoor Nov 26,2014 7:44 pm

    Bleg: anyone know places to buy vintage technology that isn’t available on eBay? Specific example is Zenith CruisePad (~20 years old tablet) but it’s going to be a recurring problem in my life.

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • Bed Nov 26,2014 7:46 pm || Up

      I’m curious…what do you do with vintage technology devices?

      But seriously, folks...
      • Bed Nov 26,2014 7:52 pm || Up

        I assume it has something to do with time travel.

        But seriously, folks...
      • nevermoor Nov 26,2014 7:56 pm || Up

        Assembling such things is a (fun) part of the patent litigation process.

        "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
        • Glorious Mundy Nov 26,2014 7:57 pm || Up

          Prior art FTW.

        • Bed Nov 26,2014 7:57 pm || Up

          Any sentence that has patent litigation process in it sounds like fun.

          But seriously, folks...
          • Glorious Mundy Nov 26,2014 7:59 pm || Up

            Ain’t no party like a claim construction party.

      • Kay Temple Kirk Nov 27,2014 8:58 pm || Up

        I kinda wanna rename myself Zenith Cruisepad now.

        \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
        • andeux Nov 27,2014 9:10 pm || Up

          Along those lines, I was a huge fan of the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy as a kid, but just learned yesterday that the Ford Prefect was a car.

          TINSTAAFK
          • Future Ed Nov 27,2014 9:15 pm || Up

            took me forever too. i think it was the early 2000s for me

            I have $5. No I don\'t.
  26. Bed Nov 26,2014 7:56 pm

    I hear bicentennials go both ways.

    But seriously, folks...
    • 5Aces Nov 26,2014 7:58 pm || Up

      Only 62 more years until “yeah-they’ll tri anything…”!

      Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
  27. Glorious Mundy Nov 26,2014 7:58 pm

    Yo Bed, is Arkansas one of those weird ass places where they call stuffing “dressing?”

    • Bed Nov 26,2014 7:59 pm || Up

      I’ve heard it both ways. To be fair though the only true Arkansans at my place tomorrow are my children and Baby Phil has no real opinion on the matter.

      But seriously, folks...
  28. Bed Nov 26,2014 7:58 pm

    I hear biplanes fly both ways.

    But seriously, folks...
  29. Bed Nov 26,2014 8:15 pm

    I hear bicycles…well, you know.

    But seriously, folks...
  30. Bed Nov 26,2014 8:26 pm

    Thanks again for giving me a place to be silly and remember…DEUKMEJIAN!

    But seriously, folks...
  31. FreeSeatUpgrade Nov 27,2014 8:31 am

    Happy Thanksgiving, you weird and wonderful FKers!

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • Future Ed Nov 27,2014 9:41 am || Up

      you guys are slackers. by 7:50, i had already won a pie

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
      • AV Nov 27,2014 12:15 pm || Up

        at noon we were still working hard on our vow not to get out of bed till noon.

        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
        • Future Ed Nov 27,2014 12:18 pm || Up

          I was in your old neighborhood. Long beach.

          I have $5. No I don\'t.
          • AV Nov 27,2014 12:24 pm || Up

            sigh. i miss long beach like i miss being 22, irresponsible, and unhangoverable.

            *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  32. AV Nov 27,2014 12:25 pm

    this one goes out to all you turkey necks.

    *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  33. nowBodhi Nov 27,2014 1:57 pm

    Hello and the Happiest of Thanksgivinz to all! Today is really two holidays, being as it is the birthday of possibly the singlemost influential musician of all time, born this day in 1942 and sadly gone from us for many the decade now. Don’t be a turkey and blog with us now for a sweet DVD, sourced from TV station master tapes, of the thoroughly immortal Jimi Hendrix, live and in living black-n-white onstage in Stockholm in January of 1969 (with a special bonus from 1967, also from station masters). Put it on and chop down that stuffing with the edge of your hand! Fall, pumpkin pie… just don’t fall on me :P

    Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
  34. MikeV Nov 27,2014 8:06 pm

    Niners gonna make me puke up dinner.

    Fucking losers.

    And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

    Thanks, and go As.

    • nevermoor Nov 27,2014 10:54 pm || Up

      I still think 9 wins and miss the playoffs.

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  35. Jennifer Nov 27,2014 8:56 pm

    I don’t understand chicken and waffles.

  36. Future Ed Nov 28,2014 8:25 am

    Hey, FSU, the newspaper I picked up off the driveway this morning tells me your sky blue fellas gave a drubbing to my sky blue fellas.

    I cannot tell you how made that makes me and how it has ruined our friendship.

    I also believe they were playing basketball, but I didn’t make it past the sub headline, so it really could have been anything.

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Nov 28,2014 12:09 pm || Up

      If it makes you feel any better both teams were in that game only because they lost to underdogs the day before. So we both fell short of expectations and can reasonably be called losers.

      Your shade of blue was quite pleasant until you sullied it with yellow, making it look like I imagine Tom Bombadil looks.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • batgirl Nov 28,2014 5:25 pm || Up

      {Waits eagerly for tomorrow’s paper to hit Ed’s driveway.}

      • Future Ed Nov 29,2014 12:55 am || Up

        Just got home. we don’t get newspapers here. AM I going to have to look football up on the internet?

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
      • Future Ed Nov 29,2014 1:01 am || Up

        hmm. It appears that we have a conflict as well.

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
  37. MikeV Nov 28,2014 5:29 pm

    I just bought 60 rolls of paper towels for 40 bucks.

    Thanks black friday.

    And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

    Thanks, and go As.

    • batgirl Nov 28,2014 5:55 pm || Up

      I hesitate to ask, but what are you going to do with 40 rolls of paper towels? I’m not sure I went through a 6-pack when housetraining a puppy.

      • Jennifer Nov 28,2014 6:03 pm || Up

        No, 60!

      • MikeV Nov 28,2014 6:09 pm || Up

        Well..

        A) I’m housetraining a puppy.

        B) I have a garage with a laundry area and shelves

        C) I mean… I’m good on paper towels for like YEARS now. I bought one of the costco packs of like 8 rolls when I moved into this place 6 months ago and just finished using it.

        And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

        Thanks, and go As.

        • MikeV Nov 28,2014 6:23 pm || Up

          Oh and say hi to Hulk.


          And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

          Thanks, and go As.

          • Jennifer Nov 28,2014 6:29 pm || Up

            HULK!?!

            • MikeV Nov 28,2014 6:31 pm || Up

              he was the biggest of the litter.

              also he runs over shit. hulk smash.

              And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

              Thanks, and go As.

            • MikeV Nov 28,2014 6:31 pm || Up

              also when he does something wrong I can say YOU CAN’T BE THAT HULK. but that’s a soccer reference that only AV will get.

              And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

              Thanks, and go As.

          • batgirl Nov 28,2014 7:33 pm || Up

            OMG!!!!!

    • Jennifer Nov 28,2014 6:07 pm || Up

      Where do you store 60 rolls of paper towels? My grandma used to hoard toilet paper. She had an old laundry chute type thing from the top floor to the second floor, filled with hundreds of rolls of TP.

      • Bed Nov 28,2014 9:35 pm || Up

        I hope you write a book someday.

        But seriously, folks...
        • Jennifer Nov 28,2014 9:39 pm || Up

          You’re cute.

          • Bed Nov 28,2014 9:49 pm || Up

            Cute and a great personality…add in the fact I own property in Arkansas and it’s easy to see me as the total package.

            But seriously, folks...
  38. AV Nov 28,2014 5:37 pm

    to catch you up, the superclásico finally lived up to its name. good game. boca stunned at river from the 15th second and marched to a 3–1 victory thanks to gigliotti who lived up to his name as river-killer and was just on fire. thus the team could weather martinez’s absence, you’ll remember, predicated by a really nasty tactical… erm, i mean tackle from behind during the first minutes of the first leg.

    the crowd gave a great welcoming, but with a record-book-checkingly quick penalty for boca on the first play and a barovero who couldn’t handle gigliotti’s cannonball, they suddenly and quietly fell out of the game. river scored on a lucky play, when a shot on goal went so wide it turned into a great cross, but most of the night was spent struggling in the midfield in a tense match of footwork, and at the other end, always between barovero and gigliotti, one on one.

    boca’s second came with a lob smart enough fall right in front of gigliotti, the last player who was not offside with an advancing defense, and thus surprise everybody, well, thankfully not the linesman. and the hat-trick came on a header when gigliotti found himself alone, albeit in mid-air and flying toward the corner of the goal that barovero was crowding, with a ball in front of his face, which he had the presence of mind to send to the far post.

    nahhhhh…

    river won 1-0. gigliotti was cursed. he softied the penalty, made barovero a hero. he got called offside, wrongly by a couple of feet. and the hat-trick, yeah, he sent it to the far post. but it went wide.

    good game though.

    and so river goes to meet pablo’s team at the finals. that being another international final without a brasilian candidate. but libertadores is right around the corner.

    *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • Future Ed Nov 29,2014 1:07 am || Up

      gotta plan travel better.

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
      • AV Nov 29,2014 8:20 am || Up

        what else could you possibly be doing thanksgiving thursday at 3:45pm??

        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  39. Jennifer Nov 28,2014 7:03 pm

    My RAD tech friend is pregnant with a boy. She’s decorating his room in Avengers stuff. I’m probably more excited that she is.

    • Kay Temple Kirk Nov 29,2014 6:24 pm || Up

      Superhero propaganda is not for kids.

      Ya wanna raise a little six year old terror? Let him think his destiny is to grow up to be Iron Man.

      \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
  40. AV Nov 28,2014 8:52 pm

    you know what else is weird?

    bone broth.

    *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • DFA Nov 28,2014 8:55 pm || Up

      Ok fuck it… Im making you soup… does thursday during the day work for delivery? Email me your dietary restrictions and your address.

      In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
      • MikeV Nov 28,2014 8:59 pm || Up

        Email me

        And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

        Thanks, and go As.

      • AV Nov 28,2014 9:03 pm || Up

        absolutely!

        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  41. Jennifer Nov 28,2014 9:09 pm

    My dick isn’t big enough for this pissing contest. Also, I give no fucks.

    • Bed Nov 28,2014 9:12 pm || Up

      Well, you know how big mine is…also how thick.

      But seriously, folks...
      • Glorious Mundy Nov 28,2014 9:15 pm || Up

        You really emphasize the thickness.

        • Bed Nov 28,2014 9:19 pm || Up

          Well, I have to emphasize something.

          But seriously, folks...
          • Jennifer Nov 28,2014 9:27 pm || Up

            Have you tried a hat or scarf? Maker’s Mark makes a bottle scarf that I think would work.

            • Bed Nov 28,2014 9:28 pm || Up

              Hey, hey…I have a GREAT personality.

              But seriously, folks...
    • AV Nov 28,2014 9:13 pm || Up

      i don’t know what bone broth has to do with a pissing contest.

      oh wait.

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • dmoas Nov 28,2014 10:28 pm || Up

        Golden Shower is a really great brand of bone broth.

  42. Bed Nov 28,2014 9:14 pm

    I can neither confirm nor deny that I watched the Star Wars trailer three times today. I can also neither confirm nor deny that the Millennium Falcon shot gave me a woody…yes, this is the nerdiest thing I’ve posted in at least an hour.

    But seriously, folks...
    • 5Aces Nov 29,2014 6:58 am || Up

      Can someone please tell me what the hell is up with that lightsaber with the little blades coming out of the side? What purpose can that possibly serve?

      Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
      • AV Nov 29,2014 8:19 am || Up

        the two main purposes of any of these movies: mark & ing.

        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • dmoas Nov 29,2014 10:40 am || Up

        To catch the blade if it slides down the side? Seems to be like a broadsword. It’s… lame.

  43. Bed Nov 28,2014 9:25 pm

    One of the things I notice about being married over being single is candles. I’m not sure I’ve ever bought one and yet my house has enough of them now to burn down the entire state.

    But seriously, folks...
  44. ptbnl Nov 29,2014 12:43 pm

    Thankful that this is my last international trip of the year.

    Incidentally I will likely have an unused global upgrade certificate that will expire at year’s end … if anyone if flying with United soon (especially internationally) and would like to upgrade, let me know.

    If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
    • nevermoor Nov 29,2014 2:52 pm || Up

      One of my co-workers is talking about a London or Berlin trip in December, but that’s awfully attenuated.

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
      • ptbnl Nov 30,2014 2:19 am || Up

        I’d rather it were used than not.

        If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
        • nevermoor Nov 30,2014 1:58 pm || Up

          I can ask him if you don’t have better takers (but would totally understand if you do)

          "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • batgirl Nov 30,2014 10:45 am || Up

      Do you mean it has to be booked by Dec. 31, or the flight actually has to occur before Dec 31?

      • ptbnl Nov 30,2014 1:23 pm || Up

        The flight has to occur before 12/31.

        If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
        • batgirl Dec 2,2014 12:49 pm || Up

          Gotcha–that rules me out! Thanks anyway :)

    • Dial C for Concupiscence Dec 8,2014 11:27 am || Up

      Son of a… I just flew United international on the way back home yesterday. This is what I get for not compulsively reading FK at all times

  45. Glorious Mundy Nov 29,2014 1:03 pm

    Possible last match of the great Thierry Henry’s career now airing on NBC Sports Network. Though it won’t be the last if he keeps playing the way he has for the first 35 minutes.

    • MikeV Nov 29,2014 1:04 pm || Up

      That was a hell of a goal by Cahill

      And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

      Thanks, and go As.

      • Glorious Mundy Nov 29,2014 1:05 pm || Up

        No kidding. And a hell of an intervention by the keeper to deny him another on TiTi’s sick cross.

      • Glorious Mundy Nov 29,2014 1:09 pm || Up

        That Davies goal was so lucky. Happy for him though.

    • Glorious Mundy Nov 29,2014 1:13 pm || Up

      FYI DFA, the Red Bulls’ coach is rocking a chunky hipster cardigan.

  46. Bed Nov 29,2014 1:05 pm

    My house smells of Arby’s and buyers remorse.

    But seriously, folks...
  47. Jennifer Nov 29,2014 5:22 pm

    I really thought this place would be burned to the ground by now.

    • Glorious Mundy Nov 29,2014 5:39 pm || Up

      It was on fire but we put it out with all the pissing.

  48. sslinger Dec 2,2014 3:41 pm

    I just got the “Yoenis Cespedes is ours and you can’t have him.” tagline again, and I haz a sad whenever that comes up. Should we remove it from the list?

    • FreeSeatUpgrade Dec 2,2014 4:22 pm || Up

      I think we should purge about half the taglines, to keep it fresh. But I don’t wish to contemplate the process of doing so.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • 5Aces Dec 2,2014 4:35 pm || Up

        You can take my taglines from my cold, dead hands

        Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
      • Glorious Mundy Dec 2,2014 4:38 pm || Up

        Half is too much. We should merely decimate their ranks to send a message to the rest.

        • dmoas Dec 2,2014 5:59 pm || Up

          If half is too much, then decimating is WAAAAAY too much.

          • andeux Dec 2,2014 6:36 pm || Up

            I don’t think that word means what you think it means.

            TINSTAAFK
            • Future Ed Dec 2,2014 6:45 pm || Up

              never thought about it. Reduce by 10?

              I have $5. No I don\'t.
              • AV Dec 2,2014 6:49 pm || Up

                1 out of 10 gets killed.

                *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
                • AV Dec 2,2014 6:52 pm || Up

                  by the other 9, originally. they drew lots to see who got it. roman army discipline.

                  *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
                • Future Ed Dec 2,2014 7:03 pm || Up

                  that’s rude

                  I have $5. No I don\'t.
                • Kay Temple Kirk Dec 3,2014 9:32 pm || Up

                  Roman Army Discipline is the root of everything that’s wrong with the world today.

                  \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
                • dmoas Dec 3,2014 9:47 pm || Up

                  I thought it was their showers.

                • Glorious Mundy Dec 4,2014 11:23 am || Up

                  The problems are legion.

                • Future Ed Dec 2,2014 6:53 pm || Up

                  doesn’t sound so bad, really.

                  I have $5. No I don\'t.
            • dmoas Dec 2,2014 7:00 pm || Up

              Don’t expect me to do math right now.

        • batgirl Dec 3,2014 11:36 am || Up

          If you’re trying to send a message, why don’t you just trade the best of the bunch to Toronto?

          • dmoas Dec 3,2014 12:15 pm || Up

            Because Canada is too awesome and anything they could offer in return would be better than what we’d be giving them.

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