The Lounge where everybody loves a happy ending. ← FREE KRAUT!

The Lounge where everybody loves a happy ending. 347

Hey there, hi there, ho there…it’s your Uncle Bed here saying come on in and lounge away.

347 thoughts on “The Lounge where everybody loves a happy ending.

  1. Bed Nov 13,2014 3:47 pm

    You say tomato I say muggy.

    But seriously, folks...
  2. doctorK Nov 13,2014 3:57 pm
  3. Jennifer Nov 13,2014 4:22 pm

    These are 110-year-old condoms, made from fish bladders. They are reusable.

    • Bed Nov 13,2014 4:38 pm || Up

      Yeah…they don’t don’t work very well.

      But seriously, folks...
    • AV Nov 13,2014 4:39 pm || Up

      it’s like they never even heard of squeezed half lemons as cervical caps.

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • Kay Temple Kirk Nov 13,2014 9:11 pm || Up

        I learned about that from Led Zeppelin!

        \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
  4. Jennifer Nov 13,2014 4:37 pm

    Weirdest ensemble ever.

    • Jennifer Nov 13,2014 4:43 pm || Up

      “Okay, Marcus Mumford… is that Jim James? A chick from the Carolina Chocolate Drops. Fucking JOHNNY DEPP!?”

      • Bed Nov 13,2014 4:44 pm || Up

        Jennifer will not stand for this FUCKING JOHNNY DEPP SILLINESS.

        But seriously, folks...
        • Jennifer Nov 13,2014 4:46 pm || Up

          Fo realz. First his ruining my movies, now he’s all up in my music? Were all the other NINE THOUSAND REAL GUITAR players busy?

          • Bed Nov 13,2014 4:53 pm || Up

            I always feel bad for real musicians or writers when some celebrity “plays” in a band or “writes” a book.

            But seriously, folks...
            • MikeV Nov 13,2014 5:05 pm || Up

              because someone is a celebrity they can’t be a “real” musician or writer?

              And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

              Thanks, and go As.

              • Jennifer Nov 13,2014 5:11 pm || Up

                NO! Pick ONE! You can’t have it all, dammit!

  5. Bed Nov 13,2014 5:42 pm

    I’ve been working myself to the bone the last few months…I need a week of nothing but steaks, fooling around, and Jason Statham movies.

    But seriously, folks...
  6. Bed Nov 13,2014 5:45 pm

    I’m not sure I’ve ever found anything more surprising than the fact that Dharma & Greg aired for five seasons.

    But seriously, folks...
  7. Bed Nov 13,2014 5:51 pm

    When someone says they want to die like a man do they mean they want to die from heart disease or prostate cancer?

    But seriously, folks...
    • Kay Temple Kirk Nov 13,2014 9:12 pm || Up

      Firearms cleaning accidents

      \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
  8. Bed Nov 13,2014 5:53 pm

    I know you’re all dying to hear what I think the A’s should do this off-season…my advice would be to mix in some water skiing to go along with the golfing.

    But seriously, folks...
    • colin Nov 14,2014 8:24 am || Up

      Going to lose the whole roster to water skiing accidents.

  9. Bed Nov 13,2014 5:55 pm

    Speaking of water skiing with heart disease…Floppy discs just need a better imagination.

    But seriously, folks...
  10. Bed Nov 13,2014 5:57 pm

    Did you know the most important symbol in the Yezidi religion is Brad Peacock?

    But seriously, folks...
  11. Bed Nov 13,2014 5:58 pm

    What was you favorite book in high school?

    But seriously, folks...
    • 5Aces Nov 13,2014 6:00 pm || Up

      Ball Four.

      Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
      • Kay Temple Kirk Nov 13,2014 9:13 pm || Up

        That was my favorite book in elementary school. When I asked my mom what “Beaver shooting” meant, she slapped me!

        \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
        • 5Aces Nov 13,2014 10:07 pm || Up

          Technically it was my favorite from Christmas of 6th grade on. I sort of figured out most of the items from context clues. I’m now trying to imagine what mom would have said if I had asked that (or if she had actually read any of it before getting it for me…)

          Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
          • Future Ed Nov 14,2014 5:27 am || Up

            i read it around then too. I have no recollection of it being steamy. I just had no clue I suppose

            I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • Bed Nov 13,2014 6:02 pm || Up

      To Kill A Mockingbird

      But seriously, folks...
    • Soaker Nov 13,2014 6:29 pm || Up

      I couldn’t conceal my delight when we were assigned The Natural. The Grapes of Wrath is the correct answer though.

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
    • East Bay Evans Nov 13,2014 11:50 pm || Up

      A Confederacy of Dunces

    • Glorious Mundy Nov 14,2014 9:51 am || Up

      The Odyssey

    • AV Nov 14,2014 10:08 am || Up

      hmmm. i used to read a lot. don’t know which one i like better now or which one i would have then. top 5:

      catch 22. 1984. slaughterhouse 5. brave new world. cuckoo’s nest.

      i’d even read on the side and try and see if my teacher would let me do a book report afterward. summer of ’42 (no book report allowed). nam (no). babbit (yes). complete sherlock holmes (did my senior paper on it).

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • AV Nov 14,2014 10:13 am || Up

        favorite book i found in high school, and still have today? easy.

        literally found it. it was on the under-seat rack of my desk when i was coming into sophomore english with mr munsen one day. thumbed through it all during class. walked out with it after.

        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • FreeSeatUpgrade Nov 15,2014 11:36 am || Up

        The Catch series for me, 22 and Rye.

        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • colin Nov 15,2014 12:01 pm || Up

      Hard to remember, but maybe Fahrenheit 451.

    • DFA Nov 20,2014 10:23 am || Up

      The House of the Spirits

      In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
    • elcroata Nov 20,2014 10:45 am || Up

      L’Étranger

      Because survival is insufficient
    • sslinger Nov 20,2014 11:22 am || Up

      The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test.

  12. Soaker Nov 13,2014 6:33 pm

    We’ve secretly replaced the Cal offense with the Oakland Raiders offense at the L.A. Coliseum tonight. Let’s see if any of the fans notice.

    What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
    • Soaker Nov 13,2014 6:41 pm || Up

      This game is going to end 63-2.

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
      • Soaker Nov 13,2014 7:18 pm || Up

        How the fuck did ESPN allow themselves to get stuck with this as their featured Thursday night game?

        What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
        • Jennifer Nov 13,2014 7:22 pm || Up

          I forgot there was even a game on. I washed my hair instead.

          • Bed Nov 13,2014 7:24 pm || Up

            True story…I can wash my hair in under 10 seconds.

            But seriously, folks...
        • Future Ed Nov 13,2014 8:07 pm || Up

          I am sure there are lots of USC fans watching

          I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Nov 15,2014 11:39 am || Up

      “He never has a second scoring drive at home.”

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  13. Bed Nov 13,2014 7:24 pm

    Akron is for lovers.

    But seriously, folks...
    • Jennifer Nov 13,2014 7:26 pm || Up

      Unless you’re Dan Auerbach.

      • Bed Nov 13,2014 7:33 pm || Up

        Is he some sort of union leader?

        But seriously, folks...
        • Jennifer Nov 13,2014 7:36 pm || Up

          Possibly. If the union is The Black Keys. They’re from Akron, and he just went through a bitter divorce. He was also in a feud with Jack White over where the kids were going to school. It was sad.

          • Bed Nov 13,2014 7:41 pm || Up

            I’d like to think in 2014 that Jack White and The Black Keys could get along.

            But seriously, folks...
            • 5Aces Nov 13,2014 7:51 pm || Up

              Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
              • Bed Nov 13,2014 7:56 pm || Up

                You’re as blind as a bat and I have sight.

                But seriously, folks...
    • Jennifer Nov 13,2014 7:30 pm || Up

      Also:

      • Bed Nov 13,2014 7:42 pm || Up

        A little too screamy for me.

        But seriously, folks...
  14. Bed Nov 13,2014 7:33 pm

    Always remember to turn the other cheek…and then headbutt whoever is pissing you off.

    But seriously, folks...
  15. Bed Nov 13,2014 7:43 pm

    What was the last music video you watched from beginning to end?

    But seriously, folks...
    • Jennifer Nov 13,2014 7:47 pm || Up

    • ptbnl Nov 13,2014 8:28 pm || Up

      If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
      • Soaker Nov 13,2014 8:42 pm || Up

        “Eye-5” rather than “The 5”, please.

        What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
        • Future Ed Nov 29,2014 10:09 pm || Up

          why not just “5?”

          I have $5. No I don\'t.
          • Soaker Nov 30,2014 9:05 am || Up

            I was submitting a lyrics change request, not rewriting the song. She needs a second syllable. In speech, yes, just “5”.

            What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
      • Jennifer Nov 13,2014 8:43 pm || Up

        Interesting name.

        • ptbnl Nov 13,2014 8:50 pm || Up

          Loretta Lynn/David Lynch.

          If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
          • FreeSeatUpgrade Nov 15,2014 11:35 am || Up

            And now she’s gonna be Attorney General. What a great country!

            "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • AV Nov 13,2014 9:50 pm || Up

        washboard virtuosa.

        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • 5Aces Nov 13,2014 10:09 pm || Up

      Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
  16. Bed Nov 13,2014 7:45 pm

    Wow…in back to back games the Kings have lost 20+ leads and the game.

    But seriously, folks...
  17. Bed Nov 13,2014 7:48 pm

    True story…I can fail to satisfy a woman in under 10 seconds.

    But seriously, folks...
    • Kay Temple Kirk Nov 13,2014 9:15 pm || Up

      Hell, I can fail during foreplay!

      \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
  18. Jennifer Nov 13,2014 8:08 pm

    I’ve stumbled upon what might be the weirdest thing ever. I’m attempting to buy an MP3 album of an artist, and there is no set price. They want me to tell them what I’m willing to pay for the digital download. I’m having quite the internal struggle here. Name my own price? Eek.

    • Jennifer Nov 13,2014 8:09 pm || Up

      OMG, it’s called Bandcamp.

      • andeux Nov 13,2014 9:35 pm || Up

        Dan. Johnson.

        TINSTAAFK
      • colin Nov 14,2014 8:27 am || Up

        There are a lot of bands on bandcamp. Mostly they set actual prices but the “name your price” option shows up a fair bit.

  19. Bed Nov 13,2014 9:03 pm

    Right here should do.

    But seriously, folks...
  20. Glorious Mundy Nov 14,2014 11:42 am

    USA about to get roasted like a fine Colombian coffee on ESPN.

    • Glorious Mundy Nov 14,2014 11:46 am || Up

      Colombia still rocking one of the most beautiful unis in the wide world of sports, but they’ve gone NNOB now. Dislike.

      • MikeV Nov 14,2014 11:51 am || Up

        NNOB?

        And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

        Thanks, and go As.

        • Glorious Mundy Nov 14,2014 11:51 am || Up

          No name on back

          • MikeV Nov 14,2014 12:00 pm || Up

            ahhhh

            And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

            Thanks, and go As.

            • Glorious Mundy Nov 14,2014 12:11 pm || Up

              Your boy Mix has a seriously gross mustache working.

              • MikeV Nov 14,2014 12:22 pm || Up

                Yea it’s pretty awful

                And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

                Thanks, and go As.

                • AV Nov 14,2014 12:24 pm || Up

                  when he was holding his package at the wall just now the whole look all sorta fell into place.

                  *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • AV Nov 14,2014 11:58 am || Up

        meh… ecuador’s got better colors.

        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • AV Nov 14,2014 12:07 pm || Up

      whoops. someone in the ESPN titling department messed up. they wrote “us men’s national team” in the spot where the event name boston red sox goes.

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • Future Ed Nov 14,2014 1:00 pm || Up

      is there a bank of lights out?

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • AV Nov 14,2014 1:03 pm || Up

      river plate may very well have lost its regular-season invictus 2 days ago thanks to teo being here today, btw.

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • AV Nov 14,2014 1:22 pm || Up

        he’s gonna miss the first leg of the boca-river sudamericana, returning from a slovenia friendly.

        so as far a FIFA goes, does a nat’l team trump the club team every time? or is it just nice of river to let him play meaningless friendlies?

        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
        • Glorious Mundy Nov 14,2014 1:31 pm || Up

          FIFA sets the dates where clubs have to release their players. If the leagues set matchdays that conflict with the FIFA days, the club gets screwed.

          • AV Nov 14,2014 1:39 pm || Up

            but the league doesn’t set sudamericana dates. (has this / would this happen with an UEFA 1/4-final?)

            *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
            • Glorious Mundy Nov 14,2014 1:41 pm || Up

              By league I was including CONMEBOL tournaments. It wouldn’t happen with a UEFA quarterfinal because they wouldn’t set their dates to conflict with FIFA dates (and vice versa).

              • Future Ed Nov 14,2014 1:44 pm || Up

                Guys, I am never going to get all this

                I have $5. No I don\'t.
                • Glorious Mundy Nov 14,2014 1:56 pm || Up

                  FIFA is the governing body of world soccer. FIFA is made up of six continental confederations: CONCACAF (North and Central America), CONMEBOL (South America), UEFA (Europe), CAF (Africa), AFC (Asia + Australia), and OFC (Oceania).

                  FIFA sets up the World Cup and other worldwide tournaments, and it also sets the dates on which international matches are played. Those matches may be friendlies, like this one, or qualifiers. European teams are playing qualifiers this week for UEFA’s European Championship tournament in 2016.

                  On those “FIFA” dates, club teams have to release their players to play for national teams if they are selected. The Sudamericana is a CONMEBOL club tournament, involving middling (sorry AV) clubs from all of South America. They scheduled key matches at the same time as a FIFA international break, and so the clubs will be without their international players. MLS does this all the time, even playing matches during the World Cup, which is pretty annoying.

                • AV Nov 14,2014 2:02 pm || Up

                  involving middling (sorry AV) clubs

                  no need to be sorry. it’s the 2nd tier tournament. and that’s why i compared the sudamericana to UEFA (maybe i shoulda said europa if that wasn’t clear) and not champions.

                  *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
                • AV Nov 14,2014 2:26 pm || Up

                  river got into this sudamericana not on the merits of winning the last championship but on winning the playoff game between the two annual champions. boca got in on best record on team not otherwise qualified for libertadores 2014.

                  river having won the last championship puts them into libertadores 2015.

                  boca wants to do well in sudamericana because that’s the only way it gets into libertadores 2015.

                  *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
                • Future Ed Nov 14,2014 2:43 pm || Up

                  so, uh, which one can I think of as the national league and wich one the american league?

                  did that teo gutierez guy get traded to columbia?

                  I have $5. No I don\'t.
                • AV Nov 14,2014 2:50 pm || Up

                  teo got called up to help the big team because the cleanup hitter is on the DL and to see how the lineup is gonna shape up next year, but he’s needed back in AAA ’cause his team’s in the MiLB playoffs.

                  *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
                • Future Ed Nov 14,2014 7:26 pm || Up

                  international friendly is for what purpose?

                  I have $5. No I don\'t.
                • MikeV Nov 14,2014 9:02 pm || Up

                  Mostly for coaches to see how certain players may/may not work at the “highest” level.

                  Also to make money.

                  And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

                  Thanks, and go As.

                • Future Ed Nov 14,2014 9:50 pm || Up

                  And there are different match ups for international tournaments like european qualifying championship or copa america?

                  And those have no bearing on the world cup? or they help FIFA organize the groups?

                  I have $5. No I don\'t.
                • ptbnl Nov 14,2014 11:18 pm || Up

                  They can be within or across federations and the results are entirely inconsequential.

                  If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
                • Future Ed Nov 14,2014 11:37 pm || Up

                  are the only matches with “consequences” the ones in a club’s league? is there a “post season”

                  I have $5. No I don\'t.
                • AV Nov 14,2014 11:52 pm || Up

                  wait. two different things. international games and international club games. am i talking about the wrong one?

                  for clubs there are two levels of international competition. they are within continents and take a certain number of a certain type of winners from each country’s tournament. one takes all the champs and the other competition takes say the also-rans or champs in subcategories. so libertadores and champions are the high level in their confederations and europa and sudamericana are the low. they play every year, with the winners of the previous year.

                  then after that, all the winners of the high level competition meet at the club world cup.

                  what’s funny is how long that is in club time, and a team can really fall to pieces in that long a time. watch san lorenzo get destroyed at this year’s world.

                  *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
                • Future Ed Nov 15,2014 6:01 am || Up

                  FIFA governs the rosters for the club teams AND the international teams?

                  I have $5. No I don\'t.
                • AV Nov 15,2014 10:20 am || Up

                  not sure what you mean by govern rosters.

                  *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
                • Future Ed Nov 15,2014 2:52 pm || Up

                  like when the club teams transfer players. can a player go from manchester united to bacelona to reral madrid to liverpool in a year? Month? fortnight?

                  I have $5. No I don\'t.
                • AV Nov 14,2014 11:28 pm || Up

                  friendlies affect ranking. (though elcro once made an interesting point.) and the top 7 teams come the WC are pot seeds 2–8 for the groups draft.

                  *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
                • AV Nov 14,2014 11:36 pm || Up

                  the competitve matchups are by continent.

                  world cup, they all meet willy-nilly.

                  then the years between: euro. asia. s-america. n-america. africa. oceania.

                  euro needs qualifiers because it’s huge. so those are now, gearing for 2016. s. america has it 2015, and with only 10 teams in the confederation, has no need for qualifiers. they all play, plus two invitees from n. america.

                  the winners of all the continents meet the year before the WC in the confederations cup.

                  and the friendlies tend to be intercontinental but not necessarily.

                  *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
                • Future Ed Nov 15,2014 6:00 am || Up

                  the players for the country team all have a club they play for?

                  How big are the rosters of the country team?

                  they play year round?

                  I have $5. No I don\'t.
                • 5Aces Nov 15,2014 8:36 am || Up

                  Is there going to be a quiz on all of this?

                  Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
                • Jennifer Nov 15,2014 8:47 am || Up

                  Pop quiz, hotshot.

                • 5Aces Nov 15,2014 7:20 pm || Up

                  whoa..

                  Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
                • AV Nov 15,2014 11:08 am || Up

                  countries want the best players possible and they can pick from any club as long as the player’s of the right nationality.

                  a good player is probably playing for a club.

                  so yes, probably all country team players have a club they play for, but it’s not a rule i don’t think.

                  in some poorer countries, the national players have non-soccer professions (though they do play soccer for a club on the weekends for some money), so you get a goalie who’s also a plumber say.

                  the national team roster is prretty flexible. depends on who the coach decides to call up for specific games or competitions, so the pool of players is big but for specific games you have a list of 25 (though i think that’s a little flexible too) eligible for that game but you can change names for the next game. but for tounaments like the WC, you call up 30 (i think) to choose from, and during training camp the month before come out with a 23-man list. once you submit it, you gotta go with those 23.

                  the players’ schedule depends mostly on the country of the club they play for. there are different setups for tournaments in different countries.

                  spain has 20 clubs and they play each other twice (once at home once away) and at the end whoever has most points wins. i believe that’s 38 weeks long.

                  argentina has 20 clubs, but they play half tournaments. so for the first half of the year there are 19 games, whoever has the most points wins. then they do another half of 19 games. and the schedule is set up so if you play team X at home the first half tournament you will play them away the second half.

                  (frankly, i think it’s too short, and unfair because a championship can depend on a single game, and the home-away coin flip for a particluarl half season can affect that.)

                  but *next* year in argentina (supposedly, they’re still debating exactly what will happen, but supposedly…) theyre going to have 30 teams (the 20 in 1st division plus 10 from 2nd) and a year-long tournament with 2 phases, in which the first half of the year everybody plays everybody (not sure how they’re scheduling that) and then depending on points, some of the teams move to the high bracket and the other teams to a low bracket to finish out the year with a single tournament champion. this makes for a really interesting tournament i think, changes the divide between 1st and 2nd division in a fairer way, but given it’s born out of argentine minds, it’s going to be left with a lot of unanswered questions and rules till about 1 minute before the first whistle, become a logistical mess, and get knee-jerk cancelled half way through and changed to the polar opposite.

                  and then there are countries that have groups, teams play the season for points mostly within that group / partly outside of it, and at the end, this qualifies the top teams in each group into a post-season elimination bracket much like we’re used to here in the US (and MLS follows suit to keep it familiar and not turn off prospective fans. another example is mexico who switched to using several groups and winners of them go to playoffs format in 2002, but then in 2011 switched to a composite format where there are no groups, everybody plays everybody, but then the top 8 teams do go to an elimination bracket in liguilla).

                  then there’s brazil… i don’t have a grasp on brazil but basically there are two halves of the year and in one half everybody plays everybody but in the other half the country is separated by whether the team is in sao paulo or not and there are two different tournaments then? i may have this completely wrong.

                  they usually get a couple weeks off around xmas and a couple weeks off mid summer, but they play around 40 games in the regular tournament, usually once a weekend, and then there’s mid-week games such as those other international club tournaments, and they schedule holes in the year for possible callups to international games/tournaments… and, and this may blow your mind… we still haven’t talked about other ongoing national tournaments! such as the FA cup and its likenesses. in a nutshell, imagine if concurrent with the MLB season, all levels of baseball teams from single A to MLB are also in a huge elimination bracket and whoever wins wins.

                  *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
                • Future Ed Nov 15,2014 9:05 am || Up

                  so like spring training?

                  ANybody can organize a friendly? like a concert promoter? To make money?

                  I have $5. No I don\'t.
                • Glorious Mundy Nov 15,2014 11:21 am || Up

                  Sort of. The national federations usually just call up other federations who don’t have a gig on a particular FIFA date and see if they want to hook up. The money-grubbing part comes more from the location. For example, Mexico will often play friendlies in the USA because they can make more money here. Brazil plays friendlies everywhere but Brazil because they are such a huge draw everywhere.

                  The USA, on the other hand, tends to schedule a lot of friendlies in Europe because they can get tough matches there. Even a team like Colombia would rather play a friendly against the USA in London a lot of the time because nearly all of it’s top players are in Europe.

                • Future Ed Nov 15,2014 2:57 pm || Up

                  FIFA has blackout dates? like Novemnber 15 is a FIFA day and national teams can schedule what they like and the club teams have to say “ok wayne rooney can’t play if englad schedules a friendly”

                  I have $5. No I don\'t.
                • AV Nov 15,2014 11:25 am || Up

                  yeah, that’s kinda how some friendlies work. like concerts. especially big-name friendlies in 3rd-party countries, such as brazil-argentina in NY a few years back. big money makers.

                  trying to google it, but there was a recent scandal about someone doing a promotional tour with messi on the roster and charging way much money for inexistent seats and having really cheap perks for expensive ticket levels, like “autographed ball!” that is really some chintzy plastic thing.

                  i don’t know how much players actually make when playing for their country. and i don’t know what the difference might be between playing a wednesday international friendly in a 3rd country vs playing a saturday qualifier on enemy soil.

                  *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
                • Future Ed Nov 15,2014 7:28 pm || Up

                  what’s with all the transfers? how is a player obliged to a team?

                  I have $5. No I don\'t.
                • AV Nov 15,2014 9:20 pm || Up

                  players have a contract with a team. when another team wants that player, they have to appease both parties, the player with a salary and the old team with a transfer fee. the transfer fee can be pretty high and is basically what you pay the old team to rip up the contract and a new contract can be negotiated between the two new parties.

                  a team can retain a contract but loan the player to an asking team, the lending team gets paid a fee and the borrowing team pays the player.

                  there are transfer windows. certain times of year when transfers can happen. different countries have them at different times. when transferring between countries, the window has to be open for the receiving team but it’s OK if it’s closed in the country the player is leaving.

                  *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
                • AV Nov 14,2014 1:59 pm || Up

                  it’s a simple game. see the ball. kick the ball. blame FIFA.

                  *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
              • AV Nov 14,2014 1:58 pm || Up

                i can’t tell how cynical you’re being. are you saying UEFA is 1st-world-smarter than CONMEBOL in that it can actually coordinate with its umbrella company? or are you saying FIFA and CONMEBOL don’t have the same relationship as FIFA and UEFA? or even that FIFA sets dates that work with UEFA but damn if it cares about what happens elsewhere?

                OTOH, it doesn’t seem FIFA coordinated with itself that well this week. see, croatia not wanting to send starters to argentina friendly because of the qualifiers a couple of days later…

                *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
                • Glorious Mundy Nov 14,2014 2:03 pm || Up

                  Chicken and egg, really. The European calendar and the FIFA calendar are both set up with the other mind. They’re built not to conflict.

                  I don’t think the problem with CONMEBOL is that they can’t figure out a calendar. It’s that their soccer calendar (like the USA’s) doesn’t mesh as cleanly with FIFA’s.

                • AV Nov 14,2014 2:18 pm || Up

                  individual countries doing what they want is OK with me. they know the risks and accept them.

                  but CONMEBOL, as the local representative of FIFA, and above the individual countries so they can’t really do anything about the risks, not setting something this simple straight makes me mad. use the same frickin’ dates as UEFA europa fer crying outloud! there are UEFA dates just a week after this leg of the sudamericana.

                  *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • AV Nov 18,2014 1:04 pm || Up

        btw, pekerman released teo and teo will be there tomorrow, though he wasn’t there on sunday and river tied.

        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • AV Nov 14,2014 1:40 pm || Up

      juan valdez showed up at the end, but it wasn’t so one sided after all.

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  21. AV Nov 14,2014 11:42 am

    i woulda sworn the national anthem of colombia was pollera colorá.

    *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  22. AV Nov 14,2014 11:55 am

    why, they’re just handing it to the US…

    *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • Glorious Mundy Nov 14,2014 11:56 am || Up

      The teenager in his first cap making the veteran cheat move.

  23. AV Nov 14,2014 12:34 pm

    is there a big colombian population in london?

    *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • Glorious Mundy Nov 14,2014 12:35 pm || Up

      I think there’s a big everything population in London.

    • MikeV Nov 14,2014 12:42 pm || Up

      Apparently.

      And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

      Thanks, and go As.

      • AV Nov 14,2014 12:53 pm || Up

        not seeing up to date numbers, but best factoid: colombians are 2nd largest latin american nationality in london, brazilians 1st.

        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • Glorious Mundy Nov 14,2014 1:57 pm || Up

      Better question: is there a big Faroe Islands population in Greece?

      • AV Nov 14,2014 2:05 pm || Up

        the only greek pharo i’ve heard about was actually in alexandria.

        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  24. MikeV Nov 14,2014 12:51 pm

    I see that MLS continues to show that it’s still making terrible decisions.

    The dispersal draft for Chivas USA is coming and they just had the draft order announced. No, it’s not just reverse order on points, they had a friggin weighted random draw.

    4 of the top 5 teams were in the playoffs this year. LOL.

    And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

    Thanks, and go As.

    • AV Nov 14,2014 12:58 pm || Up

      weighted by what?

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • MikeV Nov 14,2014 1:02 pm || Up

        Playoff teams got 1 ball in the hopper, non playoff teams got 2.

        Then they had a random draw to determine the draft order.

        And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

        Thanks, and go As.

        • AV Nov 14,2014 1:07 pm || Up

          just enough to admit there’s a fairness issue, but not enough to solve it.

          *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  25. MikeV Nov 14,2014 1:06 pm

    oh fuck off that’s offsides he obviously made a play on the ball AND shielded Beckerman

    And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

    Thanks, and go As.

    • Glorious Mundy Nov 14,2014 1:08 pm || Up

      The only solace is that they should have a goal. They just got the wrong one.

      • MikeV Nov 14,2014 1:09 pm || Up

        True.

        And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

        Thanks, and go As.

  26. Glorious Mundy Nov 14,2014 1:06 pm

    That’s offside. He completely interfered with the play. This ref crew has had a bad night.

  27. Glorious Mundy Nov 14,2014 1:18 pm

    Holy Sh-

    • MikeV Nov 14,2014 1:35 pm || Up

      He’ll opt out after 5 years

      And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

      Thanks, and go As.

    • dmoas Nov 14,2014 2:00 pm || Up

      I know it’s a lot of money, but man, he’s got to know he’s going to be stuck with the Marlins.

      • Glorious Mundy Nov 14,2014 2:08 pm || Up

        Those are some pretty nice golden handcuffs.

      • Future Ed Nov 14,2014 2:12 pm || Up

        I will bet you $5 he isn’t in a marlins uniform for that entire period of time.

        (also, can i borrow $5)

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
        • colin Nov 14,2014 2:24 pm || Up

          I saw some tweet (forget who) pointing out that this deal basically guarantees that he will be a Red Sox in like three years.

      • Dial C for Concupiscence Nov 14,2014 2:31 pm || Up

        He’ll get to enjoy that one year where they slip in as the 2nd WC and win the World Series before selling off everyone but him though

        • dmoas Nov 14,2014 2:38 pm || Up

          I thought you were talking about the A’s and I was about to laugh at the idea of the A’s in the Worlds Series.

    • colin Nov 14,2014 2:02 pm || Up

      Yahoo! FK the Marlins, but that’s awesome.

      • colin Nov 14,2014 2:08 pm || Up

        Dingerz!!

  28. Jennifer Nov 15,2014 1:18 pm

    So Jose Canseco’s finger fell off.

    • Soaker Nov 15,2014 2:34 pm || Up

      Let’s hope he shoots himself in the dick next.

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
    • andeux Nov 15,2014 5:18 pm || Up

      TINSTAAFK
  29. Soaker Nov 15,2014 6:50 pm

    I’m glad we’ll have a Big Game in the true tradition of Big Games, two mediocre teams giving it all they have with a bid to the Taco Bell A.M. Crunchwrap Bowl in Terre Haute on the line.

    What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
  30. Future Ed Nov 15,2014 8:30 pm
    I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • ptbnl Nov 15,2014 9:02 pm || Up

      Germany couldn’t quit FIFA, but he was suggesting that UEFA (one of the 6 confederations that make up FIFA, and the one that Germany is a member of) could.

      If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
      • dmoas Nov 16,2014 8:51 am || Up

        Pretty much the only way to fight the rampant corruption going on is for the various association to drop out.

        • ptbnl Nov 16,2014 10:21 am || Up

          I agree with the principle of what you’re saying, but again it’s the continental confederations that would have to withdraw, spurred by their constituent national associations.

          If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
        • AV Nov 18,2014 1:40 pm || Up

          another way is to slip swiss judges the names of a couple FIFA heads blatter wants to have investigated…

          *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • 5Aces Nov 16,2014 10:30 am || Up

        The FIFA=NCAA and the confederations are the SEC, PAC-12, etc.

        Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
  31. Soaker Nov 16,2014 2:35 pm

    There’s 50 feet of crap, then there’s the A’s, then there’s another 125 feet of crap, then there’s the Raiders’ offense.

    What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
    • doctorK Nov 16,2014 7:10 pm || Up

      I had to turn this off today midway through the 3rd quarter. It was just too awful, watching these inept posers stink out the joint against a not-good Chargers team.

    • FreeSeatUpgrade Nov 16,2014 7:25 pm || Up

      Commitment to Excrement.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • Jennifer Nov 16,2014 7:36 pm || Up

        I admire your guts. A’s and Raiders? Dude.

        • Bed Nov 16,2014 7:50 pm || Up

          Being an A’s fan is pretty easy as long as you skip October.

          But seriously, folks...
  32. Bed Nov 16,2014 4:58 pm

    The Raiders now have the evil version of the Tiger Slam…16 consecutive loses but not all in the same season. Now 8-34 under football super genius Reggie McKenzie. I wouldn’t hire Reggie McKenzie to be the assistant manager at a Kum & Go.

    But seriously, folks...
  33. Bed Nov 16,2014 5:03 pm

    Well, one thing is for sure the last six weeks have proven that Dennis Allen was the problem.

    But seriously, folks...
  34. Bed Nov 16,2014 5:05 pm

    I think half the SEC West could have beaten the Chargers today…I guess this means the Raiders better move to the WAC.

    But seriously, folks...
  35. Bed Nov 16,2014 5:10 pm

    I love that the 4-6 Atlanta Falcons are in first place. I also love that the Rams beat the Broncos. This is what makes sports great…you never know what might happen.

    But seriously, folks...
  36. Bed Nov 16,2014 5:11 pm

    One more Raiders post and then I’ll give you my take on FIFA.

    But seriously, folks...
  37. Bed Nov 16,2014 5:14 pm

    Here’s my crazy hot take for the day…not only will the Seahawks not win another Super Bowl with Russell Wilson at QB, if he’s still in the NFL in five years, it will be as another teams back up. Seattle runs such a simple offense and he really struggles to beat you from the pocket.

    But seriously, folks...
  38. Bed Nov 16,2014 5:16 pm

    The good thing about the Raiders moving to the WAC is the fact it no longer exists…somehow they’d still find a way to lose though. They lost to the bye week this season so anything is possible.

    But seriously, folks...
  39. Bed Nov 16,2014 5:17 pm

    Okay, so FIFA…I’m pretty sure they make sneakers.

    But seriously, folks...
    • Future Ed Nov 16,2014 5:31 pm || Up

      its a kind of thin dough

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
      • ptbnl Nov 16,2014 5:35 pm || Up
        If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
  40. Bed Nov 16,2014 5:51 pm

    A House Divided:

    My wife and daughter enjoyed today’s snow. Me and the dog thought it was evil. Baby Phil was too busy pumping iron to notice. The cat was undecided.

    But seriously, folks...
    • Future Ed Nov 16,2014 5:53 pm || Up

      snow?

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
      • Bed Nov 16,2014 5:54 pm || Up

        Yep…way too early. It’s supposed to be in the low 60’s for a high this time of year.

        But seriously, folks...
        • Jennifer Nov 16,2014 6:22 pm || Up

          Our windchill is supposed to be -5 tomorrow. Da fuck? It’s too early for this shit.

          • Bed Nov 16,2014 6:26 pm || Up

            It’s supposed to be brutal here tomorrow as well. I wish I didn’t have to go out in it but the next three days are crazy busy for me.

            But seriously, folks...
            • Jennifer Nov 16,2014 6:55 pm || Up

              Work here too. I want to stay in bed with hot tea and a movie. Maybe cuddle a little. With MikeV.

              • Bed Nov 16,2014 7:06 pm || Up

                Staying in bed sounds wonderful. I think several works of Jennifer/Mike fanfic involve cuddling.

                But seriously, folks...
  41. Bed Nov 16,2014 5:56 pm

    Who is the greatest soccer player of all time?

    But seriously, folks...
    • andeux Nov 16,2014 6:07 pm || Up

      Rickey.

      TINSTAAFK
      • Future Ed Nov 16,2014 6:09 pm || Up

        Yeah, I was confused by the question too, because , duh, rickey

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
        • Glorious Mundy Nov 16,2014 9:04 pm || Up

          Rickinho

          • AV Nov 17,2014 8:42 am || Up

            rickadona.

            *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
            • AV Nov 17,2014 10:38 am || Up

              watched this classic yesterday. 1979, reigning world champs argentina v reigning NASL champs cosmos, at giants’ stadium NYC. (clip abbreviated to 53 minutes.)

              has all the trappings of a particular golden era for my dudes. the footplay, the cleverness, the melenas (mopheads)… as well as scorelines hanging on the lucky bad call / the tactical use of dives like they’re so many chess gambits.

              also love the yet-unresolved mismatch between US and soccer traditions, as heard in announcers’ inability to say maradona correctly or to call the play-by-play play by play, the stadium PA making baseball sounds in the second half (possibly to get the fans to quit jeering the ref), and… astroturf (??).

              *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
              • Future Ed Nov 17,2014 12:06 pm || Up

                and the camera following the ball like in baseball

                I have $5. No I don\'t.
              • Glorious Mundy Nov 17,2014 12:08 pm || Up

                Short shorts!

                It seems this is a tape delayed broadcast that they weren’t calling as if live, since Chinaglia is both on the field and in the booth.

                • Future Ed Nov 17,2014 12:16 pm || Up

                  and they sound like they are inside a enclosed room.

                  Made of tin.

                  I have $5. No I don\'t.
                • AV Nov 17,2014 12:22 pm || Up

                  oh that makes sense. (i never pay attention to broadcaster names, as you know when i call them ian.)

                  in that case it now reminds me of the feeling of good ole wide world of sports, which lives in my memory as the badly dubbed sunday mornings show pertaining to weird athletic events from around the globe that they’d cut up for time and try to explain to you from square one, such as… the ironman triathlon, what IS that??

                  *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
                • Future Ed Nov 17,2014 12:25 pm || Up

                  its so disappointing that the videotaper left the commercials out.

                  I did too in that time. stayed by the machine pressing “stop” then hitting “play and record” when the commercial was over.

                  At some point at the start of the 2nd half ian says “this was broadcast live to Argentina, so they wanted to play well”

                  I have $5. No I don\'t.
                • AV Nov 17,2014 12:30 pm || Up

                  at the end it has the ATC logo. argentina television en color. it was the state-owned TV network that introduced color broadcasting to our market, to catch up to technology so we’d be able to broadcast the ’78 WC to the world.

                  *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
                • Glorious Mundy Nov 17,2014 12:25 pm || Up

                  Acapulco cliff diving forever.

                • 5Aces Nov 17,2014 12:27 pm || Up

                  The SuperStars and of course Battle of the Network Stars.

                  Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
                • Soaker Nov 17,2014 12:34 pm || Up

                  What 9-year-old boy wouldn’t love Demolition Derby on the Figure 8 dirt race track?

                  What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
              • Glorious Mundy Nov 17,2014 12:13 pm || Up

                Maradoña?

                • AV Nov 17,2014 12:27 pm || Up

                  i hear maradonia. the argentinian from argentinia. (they don’t say that second part.)

                  *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
                • Glorious Mundy Nov 17,2014 12:29 pm || Up

                  He was a pup at this point, wasn’t he. I guess it makes sense Ian didn’t know his name yet.

                • AV Nov 17,2014 12:38 pm || Up

                  they call him the new golden boy or something like that. but yeah, he hadn’t quite broken worldwide yet.

                  though there was some debate in argentina about how he wasn’t used in ’78. he already had a name there. at 17.

                  *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
                • Future Ed Nov 17,2014 1:45 pm || Up

                  I hear in the 2nd half, the american Ian saying Maradonia. the english Ian is saying Marado-enye-a

                  I have $5. No I don\'t.
  42. Bed Nov 16,2014 6:07 pm

    Have you ever seen a powder that was powder blue?

    But seriously, folks...
    • AV Nov 17,2014 8:44 am || Up

      yes. but if you absolutely have to crush up the coating of a jordan almond and snort it, i recommend the pink.

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • dmoas Nov 17,2014 9:24 am || Up

        Really? I’ve always gone with purple.

        • AV Nov 17,2014 9:36 am || Up

          half a pink and half a powder blue = a purple. it’s called candy flipping.

          *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
          • andeux Nov 17,2014 9:43 am || Up

            Damn, I knew kids were doing crazy shit these days, but had no idea how bad it had gotten.

            TINSTAAFK
          • dmoas Nov 17,2014 11:46 am || Up

            That shit’s dangerous. You never know what someone might add to that mix. I prefer straight from the factory purple. Sure, you don’t get quite the same buzz, but it’s safer yet still satisfying.

            • 5Aces Nov 17,2014 11:55 am || Up

              Off the street mixes better with my cough syrup though.

              Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
              • dmoas Nov 17,2014 2:53 pm || Up

                Then you should be doing the yellows and greens. Occasionally mix in a little lavender. Not a lot, just a touch.

  43. Bed Nov 16,2014 6:29 pm

    If someone tells you they’re a vulcanologist don’t believe them. Vulcans don’t exist.

    But seriously, folks...
  44. Bed Nov 16,2014 6:30 pm

    If you look up the word craggy in the dictionary you’ll see a picture of Tommy Lee Jones’ face.

    But seriously, folks...
    • AV Nov 17,2014 8:48 am || Up

      call him thomas’.

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  45. Bed Nov 16,2014 6:31 pm

    I have no proof to back this up but I’m pretty sure Bob Geren killed JFK.

    But seriously, folks...
  46. Bed Nov 16,2014 6:32 pm

    I have no proof to back this up but I’m pretty sure Reggie McKenzie started the Vietnam War.

    But seriously, folks...
  47. Bed Nov 16,2014 6:33 pm

    I have no proof to back this up but I’m pretty sure John Elway talked Eve into eating the apple.

    But seriously, folks...
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Nov 16,2014 7:28 pm || Up

      Best move Eve ever made. But don’t give that punk Elway the credit. Clearly, Eve was led astray by Kenny Stabler.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  48. Bed Nov 16,2014 6:34 pm

    If you want to pull off a ballroom blitz remember to send your linebackers towards the punch bowl.

    But seriously, folks...
  49. Bed Nov 16,2014 6:36 pm

    I have no proof to back this up but I’m pretty sure Marc Wilson invented meth.

    But seriously, folks...
  50. ptbnl Nov 16,2014 6:46 pm

    Just for a change of pace from writing papers that are going to be delayed yet again, I decided that after 200 gallons it was time spring clean the brewery today, so I took all of my kegs apart (three 15 gallon brewing kettles and four 5 gallon corny kegs) and cleaned all the little bits and pieces.

    Strangely gratifying.

    If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
    • colin Nov 16,2014 6:52 pm || Up

      Would it be mean to say that we were somewhat relieved to hear that you all had pushed your publication date back?

      • ptbnl Nov 16,2014 8:21 pm || Up

        It’s all a bit farcical with two dedicated conferences now happening before the new publication date!

        If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
    • Future Ed Nov 16,2014 6:53 pm || Up

      200 Gallnas! you must have been hhhhhhhhammered

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
  51. Bed Nov 16,2014 6:50 pm

    I wonder if I can get my PhD in procrastination?

    But seriously, folks...
    • 5Aces Nov 17,2014 6:53 am || Up

      Not yet, maybe soon though.

      Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
  52. Future Ed Nov 16,2014 7:00 pm
    I have $5. No I don\'t.
  53. Bed Nov 16,2014 7:11 pm

    Do you think someone can be intrinsically evil or is it always the surroundings someone lives in that creates people who do evil things?

    But seriously, folks...
    • East Bay Evans Nov 17,2014 12:59 am || Up

      I’m an environmental effects kinda guy… but genetics probably play a role.

      • Dial C for Concupiscence Nov 17,2014 9:56 am || Up

        I’ve always thought the opposite. That much of it is inherent and it’s the environment that determines how it’s expressed (or not expressed). But likely, there’s two distinct types: your inherent sociopaths and your trauma/environment-sparked type. Like pretty much all nature vs. nurture debates though, it’s never fully one or the other

        • East Bay Evans Nov 17,2014 10:22 am || Up

          Yeah, I imagine the truth is somewhere in the middle. There’s a long history behind this particular question, but a definite answer is elusive.

          • dmoas Nov 17,2014 11:49 am || Up

            I’d say it’s both. Just because it exists genetically, it can be subdue and suppressed through environment. And even if it doesn’t exist genetically, in the proper environment, it can be created and unleashed.

  54. Bed Nov 16,2014 7:51 pm

    One day I hope I find something I love as much as the sound of my own voice.

    But seriously, folks...
  55. Bed Nov 16,2014 7:52 pm

    I have no proof to back this up but I’m pretty sure Richard Nixon wrote and directed Battlefield Earth.

    But seriously, folks...
  56. Bed Nov 16,2014 8:04 pm

    I’d like to dedicate my next five posts to Jose Canseco’s finger.

    But seriously, folks...
  57. Bed Nov 16,2014 8:08 pm

    I’d consider moving to England if I understood their language.

    But seriously, folks...
    • Kay Temple Kirk Nov 17,2014 8:57 am || Up

      Maybe you should move to Ol’ Blighty instead.

      \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
  58. Bed Nov 16,2014 8:10 pm

    If you had to lose a finger the pinky is the obvious choice. Thumbs are handy and I need the middle finger to communicate.

    But seriously, folks...
  59. Bed Nov 16,2014 8:10 pm

    I’d consider moving to Canada if I understood hockey.

    But seriously, folks...
    • Future Ed Nov 16,2014 8:58 pm || Up

      just say 5 hole a lot

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
      • Kay Temple Kirk Nov 17,2014 8:57 am || Up

        Which one was that in prison lingo?

        \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
  60. Bed Nov 16,2014 8:11 pm

    Would you rather lose one hand or both feet?

    But seriously, folks...
    • Future Ed Nov 16,2014 8:58 pm || Up

      if I lost both feet, I would only be no feet tall

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
  61. Bed Nov 16,2014 8:18 pm

    I’d consider moving to Kiribati if I understood where it was.

    But seriously, folks...
    • Kay Temple Kirk Nov 17,2014 8:58 am || Up

      I think it’s in ChickenStanley’s garage.

      \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
    • Englishmajor Nov 18,2014 3:05 pm || Up

      People who have names that aren’t pronounced as they are spelt often say it’s a great thing, because they can hang up on telemarketers and other nuisance calls right away. I suppose everyone who lives in Kiribati has that privilege.

      • dmoas Nov 18,2014 6:25 pm || Up

        I just don’t pick up the phone. But know can pronounce my last name so there’s that.

  62. Bed Nov 16,2014 8:20 pm

    I’d like to dedicate my next five posts to Mark McGwire’s steroid use back acne.

    But seriously, folks...
    • Kay Temple Kirk Nov 17,2014 8:59 am || Up

      Are you one of those zit-popping fetishists?

      \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
  63. Bed Nov 16,2014 8:23 pm

    Steroid use back acne or volunteer work?

    But seriously, folks...
    • AV Nov 17,2014 8:54 am || Up

      still trying to decide what verb to go with here.

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • Kay Temple Kirk Nov 17,2014 8:59 am || Up

      Why not volunteer down at the local boxing gym and get the best of both worlds?

      \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
    • 5Aces Nov 17,2014 9:43 am || Up

      Too busy watching my 60 inch TV for either, sorry.

      Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
  64. Bed Nov 16,2014 8:25 pm

    Has anyone ever been in a Maryland state of mind?

    But seriously, folks...
    • AV Nov 17,2014 8:53 am || Up

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  65. Bed Nov 16,2014 8:26 pm

    I admit I juiced for junior golf…it was mostly apple juice. Orange juice never agreed with me.

    But seriously, folks...
  66. Bed Nov 16,2014 8:28 pm

    I remember watching a golf skills competition where Mark McGwire was playing against a bunch of PGA pros. This was while he was still a player and they were cracking PED jokes the whole time…he never laughed or joined in.

    But seriously, folks...
  67. Bed Nov 16,2014 8:29 pm

    I would like to state for the record that I came by all my acne naturally…hopefully all the pictures have been burned.

    But seriously, folks...
    • Kay Temple Kirk Nov 17,2014 9:01 am || Up

      No, I’m pretty sure the videos are up on YouTube.

      What I want to know, however, is if the astronomical watch counts are due to tens of thousands of unique eyeballs, or from a small core of fetishists who watch them over and over again.

      \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
      • colin Nov 17,2014 9:36 am || Up

        It’s actually both, but youtube has been suppressing the numbers because can’t let the world realize that Bed’s pimpled teenage face has higher viewership than the Superbowl.

  68. Bed Nov 16,2014 8:43 pm

    Are you struggling to keep that fresh feeling? Well, if you are you’re in luck with the all new Mitch McConnell douche. This is the new face of freshness…

    But seriously, folks...
    • Future Ed Nov 16,2014 8:59 pm || Up

      uhg.

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • Kay Temple Kirk Nov 17,2014 9:03 am || Up

      He looks a lot like my vegan mother-in-law.

      I wonder if he wears those medical support stockings for people with varicose veins like mountain ranges.

      \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
  69. ptbnl Nov 17,2014 7:43 am

    Facebook, Google et al complaining about electronic surveillance is like … rain on your wedding day.

    A smarter government would have bought the data from these companies, rather than demanded it with menaces, and they’d have been happy as pigs in shit.

    If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
  70. 5Aces Nov 17,2014 12:50 pm

    My boss insists on continuing the meeting until he confuses others or getsw them to disagree and make the project harder.

    When you get the answer you want, hang up. This really isnt difficult.

    Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
  71. nevermoor Nov 17,2014 2:00 pm

    DFWAS

    Yglesias catches King of Centrists being everything that’s wrong with centrism in this passage.

    On health care, we needed a market-driven plan that decreases the percentage of uninsured Americans without convoluting the U.S. health care system. Just such a plan sprang out of conservative think tanks and was tested by a GOP governor in Massachusetts, Mitt Romney.

    Instead of a bipartisan agreement to bring that plan to scale, we got more partisan warfare. The GOP resisted, Obama surrendered his mantle of bipartisanship, and Democrats muscled through a one-sided law that has never been popular with a majority of the public.

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  72. AV Nov 18,2014 12:00 pm

    “you know what’s odd here at old trafford? that, as you call it… murmur, that you hear every time messi or ronaldo touch the ball, no matter how far away from the goal they are. it’s like watching a game in asia or the united states, or, you know, one of those places where they don’t know very much about fútbol.”

    *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • Glorious Mundy Nov 18,2014 12:03 pm || Up

      Not cool, Ian.

      • AV Nov 18,2014 12:09 pm || Up

        spain broadcast.

        neutral… yet somehow snobby. lots of “here’s the barcelona forward, who passes it to the former madrid winger before he went to play somewhere else, who comes face to face with his old teammate now on opposite sides.”

        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
        • Glorious Mundy Nov 18,2014 12:14 pm || Up

          Good to know they’re just as bad as the English. I swear after every goal Diego Forlan scored for Uruguay Ian had to say “never quite worked out for him at Old Trafford, did it?”

          • AV Nov 18,2014 1:14 pm || Up

            they’re aghast at the crowd doing the wave. “lots of tourists here today.”

            *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
            • ptbnl Nov 18,2014 2:45 pm || Up

              It’s Old Trafford … always full of tourists.

              If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
              • AV Nov 18,2014 3:13 pm || Up

                i’d certainly go.

                *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • 5Aces Nov 18,2014 12:49 pm || Up

        Ian has officially been added to the FKtionary. If anyone has a particular best thought of link to one of the first Ians feel free to add it as well.

        Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
        • AV Nov 18,2014 12:57 pm || Up

          *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • AV Nov 18,2014 1:35 pm || Up

      yep. it wasn’t just a boring game. it also ended with an undeserved scoreline.

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • Glorious Mundy Nov 18,2014 1:53 pm || Up

        Meanwhile, the USA game wasn’t exactly boring…

        • MikeV Nov 18,2014 2:13 pm || Up

          Their 3rd string is better than our 3rd string.

          And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

          Thanks, and go As.

          • Glorious Mundy Nov 18,2014 2:17 pm || Up

            Other than at keeper, I wouldn’t say that was our third string. I have no idea if it was theirs. Shane Long was the only player I’d ever heard of.

            • MikeV Nov 18,2014 2:32 pm || Up

              Well they didn’t really fall apart until all the subs started.

              guys I’m over seeing: Beckerman, Cameron, Morales, Chandler. I know it’s just getting looks at guys but there have GOT to be better options at center back, Besler looked tired and Cameron just doesn’t know how to FKing clear the ball I guess, they’ve been a horrible pairing. Beckerman drops back SO far that it creates too much of a gap in the midfield with Mix at the top of the diamond.

              Also where the hell is Kevin Bacon Aron Johnasson?

              And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

              Thanks, and go As.

              • Glorious Mundy Nov 18,2014 2:50 pm || Up

                John Brooks would have started if he hadn’t injured himself slightly in training. I think he and Jones may actually be the first choice pairing right now.

                • MikeV Nov 18,2014 2:57 pm || Up

                  They’re gonna have to be, but I’m concerned about what happens after next year. Jones is on the wrong side of 30 and if we are starting a 36 year old CB in Russia I’m going to be disappointed.

                  And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

                  Thanks, and go As.

        • AV Nov 18,2014 7:38 pm || Up

          just finished it. ouch. and i’m not just reacting to the iannouncing.

          *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  73. nowBodhi Nov 18,2014 12:54 pm

    All right it’s Tuesday and it’s time for a birthday post to celebrate one of my all-time favorites, born this day way, way back in 1936 and sadly gone from our midst almost 20 years now. Blog with me now for a toast to Don Cherry, pocket trumpet prodigy and World Music progenitor, and a sweet pre-FM reel of his supergroup Codona onstage in Hamburg, Germany in 1978 :D

    Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
  74. Bed Nov 18,2014 4:27 pm

    Most of my coaching advice consists of saying “sweep the leg”.

    But seriously, folks...
    • andeux Nov 18,2014 4:31 pm || Up

      Seems like that might be controversial in golf.

      TINSTAAFK
      • Bed Nov 18,2014 4:36 pm || Up

        My golfers play to win…and to ruin the lives of 25 year old men playing teenagers in 80’s movies.

        But seriously, folks...
  75. Glorious Mundy Nov 18,2014 4:29 pm

    There’s a kid on Michigan State’s basketball team whose first name is Lourawls.

  76. Bed Nov 18,2014 4:37 pm

    There are some very funny posts in this lounge…Good Job, Krauters.

    But seriously, folks...
  77. Jennifer Nov 18,2014 6:41 pm

    Oh, hey. the Raiders and Chiefs are the Thursday night game. Woo!

    • doctorK Nov 18,2014 9:16 pm || Up

      Having the Raiders lose on Thursday will allow me to enjoy my Sunday.

      • FreeSeatUpgrade Nov 18,2014 9:44 pm || Up

        Oh ye of little faith. The Raiders are gonna win a game a coinflip one of these days

        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
        • Soaker Nov 19,2014 8:02 am || Up

          Their defense isn’t bad enough for an 0-16 though. Some other team is going to have a bad enough offensive day to lose 10-7. The Chargers almost did that this week. I’m guessing it will happen before the Buffalo game, but the Bills are lurking down there if all else fails.

          Even though I don’t follow this particularly closely, any dumbass could see some of it coming. (I’ve already lost that bet; through 10 games the number is 463, 393 for McFadden and 70 for Jones-Drew.)

          What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
          • FreeSeatUpgrade Nov 19,2014 12:44 pm || Up

            I agree, they’ll win a game, maybe more. Watch out, Forty Niners!

            Before last week’s game I read somewhere that a sports book was offering 10-1 payoff if you bet that the Raiders would go winless. That struck me as a terrible bet…10-1 odds for any team to lose seven straight games is way too small.

            "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
            • elcroata Nov 19,2014 12:51 pm || Up

              That depends strictly on how bad you think the Raiders are. If you think they have < 25% chance of winning any individual game till the end, than 10-1 is a pretty fair line, isn't it?

              Because survival is insufficient
              • FreeSeatUpgrade Nov 19,2014 4:40 pm || Up

                Hmm, that’s a good question for some of you folks who are mathier than me. I do subscribe to the “Any Given Sunday” adage wherein it is not that uncommon for crappy teams to beat good teams. Before last week’s game here’s how I’d have put the Raiders chances of winning each:

                at San Diego: 30%
                vs Kansas City: 35%
                at St Louis: 35%
                vs SF: 25%
                at Kansas City: 25%
                vs Buffalo: 40%
                at Denver: 25% (> 0% only because Denver will lack motivation in their regular season finale)

                "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
                • vignette17 Nov 19,2014 4:51 pm || Up

                  This would give OAK only a 7.5% chance of going winless or 13/1 odds.

                • andeux Nov 19,2014 4:53 pm || Up

                  That would give a 7.5% chance of 0-7, so you would want 14:1 odds.
                  But of course bookmakers are not in the business of giving favorable odds, especially on these high-variance longshot type of bets.

                  (Also, a couple of weeks ago I would have taken umbrage at everyone listing Buffalo as the most likely victim, but right now that seems pretty fair. Although I would still say the Rams are worse.)

                  TINSTAAFK
                • FreeSeatUpgrade Nov 19,2014 6:47 pm || Up

                  And I probably overrate the Raiders chances, so 10-1 at least isn’t so far off. Also, I have no faith in my assessment of the opponents (except that “The Road” feels insurmountable).

                  Still, no way this team is going 0-16. Bet the mortgage on it.

                  "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
                • Glorious Mundy Nov 20,2014 10:49 am || Up

                  Football seems like a sport where psychological motivation on a particular day looms large, and the motivation not to forever be one of the players on the only team ever to lose 16 games seems like it should be decisive at some point.

                • 5Aces Nov 20,2014 10:52 am || Up

                  *2nd team. The Lions from several years ago say Hi and are glad you forgot about them.

                  Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
                • Glorious Mundy Nov 20,2014 10:54 am || Up

                  Ah. The Raiders are FKed then.

                • ptbnl Nov 20,2014 11:01 am || Up

                  And the 76 Bucs deserve at least an asterisk.

                  If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
                • Soaker Nov 20,2014 2:05 pm || Up

                  A few of Coach McKay’s thoughts. The one about his team’s execution isn’t even in there. Ed will especially love the comment at 1:24.

                  What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
                • Future Ed Nov 20,2014 6:04 pm || Up

                  Rejects?

                  I have $5. No I don\'t.
                • Future Ed Nov 20,2014 5:57 pm || Up

                  where is larry Csonca to tell them that’s not a real winless season

                  I have $5. No I don\'t.
  78. Jennifer Nov 18,2014 8:09 pm

    I have that freaking Take Me to Church song stuck in my head.

    • FreeSeatUpgrade Nov 18,2014 9:53 pm || Up

      I like that song. And I hate church.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  79. Glorious Mundy Nov 18,2014 8:50 pm

    Oh my god. Shut down CNN now.

    • nevermoor Nov 19,2014 10:42 am || Up

      Yeah. That one is absolutely abhorrent.

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  80. Jennifer Nov 19,2014 6:15 pm

    I had a minor freakout today after looking at photos from the snow storm in Buffalo. I’m slightly claustrophobic.

    • 5Aces Nov 19,2014 8:20 pm || Up

      This weather is getting out of control. I had to put on a hoodie for like an hour today.

      Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
      • Soaker Nov 19,2014 8:48 pm || Up

        It’s way too early for panic at Tahoe regardless of what’s happened the last few years, but Thanksgiving looks like a bummer.

        What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
        • Future Ed Nov 19,2014 9:53 pm || Up

          does that mean a lot of snow or no snow?

          I have $5. No I don\'t.
  81. 5Aces Nov 20,2014 8:10 am

    The restrictions to web sites on the work computer just stopped me from posting on NBC Hardball Talk. I think I need to send our IT guys a thank you note.

    But now I have this comment I have to get out somewhere so:

    When he wore white cleats Reno Hightower was the greatest QB in the history of south Kern county.

    Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
    • dmoas Nov 20,2014 9:42 am || Up

      Didn’t he throw like 9 TDs in a game once?

      • 5Aces Nov 20,2014 10:12 am || Up

        Against Porterville!

        Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
      • 5Aces Nov 20,2014 10:13 am || Up

        I always liked the fact that they actually bothered to get the name of a school that Bakersfiled or Taft would have possibly played instead of just making up some generic name.

        Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
  82. AV Nov 20,2014 9:53 am

    i am, george. i am.

    i’m cold. i’m cold. (there, there. there, there.)

    it’s too late. (not for me!)

    we’ll see.

    just a few mike nichols e-pith-anies to tide us over…

    *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.

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