The Lounge where there’s only one thing left to do… ← FREE KRAUT!

The Lounge where there’s only one thing left to do… 296

WIN THE WHOLE DAMN THING…and lounge.

296 thoughts on “The Lounge where there’s only one thing left to do…

  1. Bed Sep 28,2014 5:30 pm

    This is a good place to talk baseball, the Utopian literature found during the Enlightenment period, and the proper type of hot dogs to mix into macaroni and cheese.

    But seriously, folks...
    • East Bay Evans Sep 28,2014 5:41 pm || Up

      Baseball? Hot Dogs?

      Craig Breslow will have to fit in for the Utopian literature.

      • Dial C for Concupiscence Sep 29,2014 9:14 am || Up

        I’m of the mind that hot dogs are not sandwiches. Neither are quesadillas or wraps. Having separate pieces of bread/filling-containing-material is a necessary condition for sandwich-dom

        • 5Aces Sep 29,2014 9:17 am || Up

          A wrap is just a cold Burrito isnt it?

          And what would you do about a large quesadilla made with 2 tortillas?

          Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
          • Dial C for Concupiscence Sep 29,2014 9:31 am || Up

            Sure, but burritos aren’t sandwiches either, regardless of what New York State legislates.

            If you use two separate tortillas, you’ve met that condition for sandwich-dom. It would qualify for games of Sandwich Punch at least

            • AV Sep 29,2014 9:34 am || Up

              pita. sandwich.

              see ya wouldn’t wanna be ya.

              *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
              • Dial C for Concupiscence Sep 29,2014 9:38 am || Up

                Nope. Pita is a cave that some delicious fillings hollowed out and crawled into, but it is not a sandwich

                • AV Sep 29,2014 9:43 am || Up

                  cave huh? oh, ’cause they’re from the middle east. i see.

                  racist.

                  *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
                • Dial C for Concupiscence Sep 29,2014 10:06 am || Up

                  Pshh, pita’s a Greek word

                • Future Ed Sep 29,2014 5:55 pm || Up

                  I never say pita

                  I have $5. No I don\'t.
            • 5Aces Sep 29,2014 10:19 am || Up

              No-thats what I meant. You cant call a wrap a sandwich becauuse its a burrito.

              Now what abbout this..I dont think a Torta is a sandwich, but i know I am wrong there. I think in general I just refuse to classsify any Mexican items as something other than what they are. So a sandwich iss simply not Mexican enough.

              Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
              • Glorious Mundy Sep 29,2014 10:39 am || Up

                A torta isn’t a sandwich. A torta is the sandwich.

                • AV Sep 29,2014 12:37 pm || Up

                  lomito, light of my life, fire of my loins. my sin, my soul. lo-mee-to: the tip of the tongue taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap, at three, on the teeth. lo. mee. to.

                  (and yes, it also comes in a pita.)

                  *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
                • AV Sep 29,2014 2:05 pm || Up

                  i’m hunger’d hunger’d.

                  *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
          • Soaker Sep 29,2014 9:42 am || Up

            I looked up the nutrition info on that “Quesadilla Burger” which Applebee’s was pitching on A’s games the last week or so. 1400 calories, 105 grams of fat and 3260 mg of sodium. Holy cardiac arrest. And it doesn’t even look good.

            What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
            • 5Aces Sep 29,2014 10:22 am || Up

              Applebees nevver ceases to amaze me with how they can pack so many calories into things that really dont look or taste that good.

              Chili’s is a bit better, but they add on the fact that you will end up paying $55 somehow. At least Applebees gets me out the door a bit cheaper.(not that I go there unnless forced)

              Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
            • batgirl Sep 29,2014 12:36 pm || Up

              The only time I’ve ever been to Applebee’s was about 8 years ago in Dodge City, KS when I went with my 86 year old grandma and her 90 year old sister. The sister ordered a scotch and proceeded to get VERY testy when it took them 10 minutes to bring it. My grandma ordered the Quesadilla burger, which I thought was an odd choice. But then I remembered the time she took me to Red Robin and repeatedly complained to the waiter that her burger was “too tall.” So perhaps the quesadilla burger was perfect for her.

              • nevermoor Sep 29,2014 11:36 pm || Up

                I only go to Applebee’s to get the view from real Americans at their salad bars.

                "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
            • vignette17 Sep 29,2014 1:29 pm || Up

              I’m not gonna lie. I actually like Applebee’s. I only ever get two dishes there and I love them.

              I get riblets and they taste way better than any of the BBQ Ribs I’ve gotten at a Chili’s or other huge chain. And then I get a Triple Chocolate Meltdown which I know is microwaved, you know is microwaved, but damn it, tastes amazing. Must be the calories that taste so good.

              • dmoas Sep 29,2014 1:50 pm || Up

                Fun Fact: Their corporate office has a full test restaurant in it.

              • dmoas Sep 29,2014 1:51 pm || Up

                Another Fun Fact: They have the same parent company as IHOP.

              • FreeSeatUpgrade Sep 29,2014 2:01 pm || Up

                Fun Fact: The guy who is the voice on their commercials played the quirky DJ character on the TV show Northern Exposure, and is the long-time romantic partner of Bo Derek.

                "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
                • AV Sep 29,2014 2:04 pm || Up

                  chris in the morning. walgreens too.

                  didn’t know he knew bo, tho.

                  *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
                • batgirl Sep 29,2014 3:08 pm || Up

                  Wow they are not as far apart in age as I assumed.

                • AV Oct 1,2014 11:44 am || Up

                  but if you really wanna drop your northern exposure jaw in disbelief…

                  *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
              • 5Aces Sep 29,2014 2:09 pm || Up

                Fun fact: They make sure your kids have a good time.

                I also swear there was a story here several years ago where they were serving urine instead of apple juice. A co-worker started calling them “Applepees” for a good 6 months.

                Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
        • dmoas Sep 29,2014 9:32 am || Up

          Okay. But… what if the two ends of the bun separate?

          • Dial C for Concupiscence Sep 29,2014 9:39 am || Up

            Then you’ve over-saturated and overloaded your hot dog, causing it to devolve into a sad (but technically accurate) excuse for a sandwich

            • dmoas Sep 29,2014 10:33 am || Up

              I never overload my hot dog. The bun is just weak.

          • Glorious Mundy Sep 29,2014 10:35 am || Up

            Sandwich fillings cannot be cylindrical. If you want to turn a hot dog into a sandwich, you’ve gotta cut that thing. Lengthwise.

            • 5Aces Sep 29,2014 10:37 am || Up

              You quarter it, fry it, and put three across vertically and one horizontally over them. And the bread should be toasted.

              Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
            • dmoas Sep 29,2014 10:38 am || Up

              What about tomatoes?

              • Glorious Mundy Sep 29,2014 10:39 am || Up

                You bastard.

                • Dial C for Concupiscence Sep 29,2014 10:41 am || Up

                  Onions as well (despite their general terribleness)

                • Glorious Mundy Sep 29,2014 10:47 am || Up

                  I hate raw onions on sandwiches so much. And not just on my sandwiches. On everyone’s sandwiches. One jerk gets raw onions on his sandwich and the whole office stinks for hours.

                • Dial C for Concupiscence Sep 29,2014 10:57 am || Up

                  I just hate onions in general

                • danmerqury Sep 29,2014 2:20 pm || Up

                  The hell is wrong with you guys?

                • AV Sep 29,2014 2:23 pm || Up

                  finally. a voice of reason.

                  *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
                • danmerqury Sep 29,2014 2:27 pm || Up

                  Seriously. Onions are amazing. Raw, fried, caramelized, anything. Invaluable in flavoring sauces…

                • ptbnl Sep 29,2014 2:33 pm || Up

                  Pay no attention to the madness.

                  If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
                • andeux Sep 29,2014 3:09 pm || Up

                  Yes.

                  TINSTAAFK
                • nevermoor Sep 29,2014 11:38 pm || Up

                  Thank god our resident robot knows his shit. I second this.

                  "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
                • Dial C for Concupiscence Sep 30,2014 10:12 am || Up

                  I have no problem with the flavor actually. It’s the texture that is offensive to gods and man

                • danmerqury Sep 30,2014 2:16 pm || Up

                  Okay, now this really, really perplexes me. The texture? A raw onion has the same texture as an apple, basically.

                • Kay Temple Kirk Sep 30,2014 2:34 pm || Up

                  I don’t like that texture at all!

                  Yet, when paired with the awesome multilevel aura of onion juice, I can handle it. Therefore, onions are awesome.

                  It’s the damn apples that are disgusting!

                  \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
                • Future Ed Sep 29,2014 5:57 pm || Up

                  Dan only commnets for some imperical truthin

                  I have $5. No I don\'t.
                • danmerqury Sep 30,2014 2:16 pm || Up

                  You know it.

              • 5Aces Sep 29,2014 10:41 am || Up

                They’re a fruit. What about them?

                Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
                • dmoas Sep 29,2014 11:52 am || Up

                  They’re a filling.

                • 5Aces Sep 29,2014 12:15 pm || Up

                  Fillings are those things you get in your teeth when you eat too much real food. You are just all over the place dude.

                  Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
              • AV Sep 29,2014 12:40 pm || Up

                you definitely can’t have a cut wiener sandwich without tomatoes, therefore mayo too.

                is that what you’re asking?

                *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
            • AV Sep 29,2014 12:47 pm || Up

              well, there’s math for this. in cylindrical foods, if h ≤ radius = OK to sandwich, even if by cumulative property of addition, total h of cylinders in sandwich > radius of bread.

              proof:
              in-n-out
              5×5
              QED

              *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
              • 5Aces Sep 29,2014 12:58 pm || Up

                Is it still a sandwich if the break is no longer on the top and bottom but rather on the sides? Example, 100×100.

                Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
                • AV Sep 29,2014 1:14 pm || Up

                  h, r, and d are used here as relative terms, not spacial definitions. ie, h is defined by the line perpendicular to the base of the cylinder, not as a function of gravity vis a vis tipping point of sandwich itself or direction the mayonnaise drips.

                  *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
                • 5Aces Sep 29,2014 1:20 pm || Up

                  No, that I understood. I am just looking at the various qualities, does the spatial relation change what it is? I can no longer eat it the way I would eat what I refer to as a “sandwich”. In fact I may now need to use tableware to eat it. I cant see a sandwich being something that is eaten with a fork and knife.

                  Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
                • AV Sep 29,2014 1:27 pm || Up

                  well the 100×100, though mathematical sounding, should be treated from a natural sciences perspective. however, it is such a rare specimen, indigenous only to las vegas and seen only during that half hour between peak drunkenness and total loss of everything that was in your wallet, i didn’t at first understand the general and larger ramifications of your question. so please allow me to suggest that we look at another genus of the sandwich family, the club sandwich, which, when served properly on its hind quarters, satisfies the qualities you’re looking for (as well as my tummy), is more widely identified by the eating public, and ultimately provides the affirmative answer you are looking for.

                  *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
                • ptbnl Sep 29,2014 2:38 pm || Up

                  But what about a hypertorus? Or a Möbius strip?

                  If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
                • andeux Sep 29,2014 3:23 pm || Up

                  Good point.

                  Consider a bagel cut along a torus knot or link and filled with cream cheese and lox.

                  If you use the Möbius strip cut variant mentioned toward the end, is it no longer a sandwich because the result still only has one component?

                  TINSTAAFK
                • AV Sep 29,2014 3:51 pm || Up

                  i think the real problem is that you can’t tell if the filling is on the inside or not. rather, that it’s both on the inside and not.

                  *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
                • nevermoor Sep 29,2014 11:41 pm || Up

                  NERDS!

                  "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
                • Dial C for Concupiscence Sep 30,2014 10:13 am || Up

                  It’s in a state of both sandwich and non-sandwich until you observe it

                • 5Aces Sep 30,2014 10:18 am || Up

                  Schrodinger’s $5 foot long.

                  Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
                • AV Feb 15,2017 9:32 am || Up

                  an even more basic yet unanswerable question:

                  *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
                • nevermoor Feb 15,2017 9:46 am || Up

                  That’s the most evil question currently on the internet.

                  "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
                • 5Aces Sep 29,2014 2:51 pm || Up

                  Now I’m done for the day. Back in my fast food years we used to go to a nearby Carrow’s for dinner after closing. Our grill guy would order THE CLUB (as loudly as he could) every damn night. Still cracks me up to this day.

                  Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
        • dmoas Sep 29,2014 9:33 am || Up

          Okay. But… what about hamburgers?

          • Dial C for Concupiscence Sep 29,2014 9:42 am || Up

            They are sandwiches. I don’t like that one either, but thems the breaks of the definition. You’ll have such cases in any definition that isn’t just a wishy washy spin on some “know it when I see it” mumblespew

            • 5Aces Sep 29,2014 10:25 am || Up

              Well and I even think if you go back to menus a long time ago they were called Hamburger sandwiches. And McDonald’s has that portion of the menuboard labeled as ‘sandwiches”. Like them or not, if you sell a few billion I think you get a seat at the definition table.

              Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
              • dmoas Sep 29,2014 10:34 am || Up

                That assumes what they serve can be considered a hamburger to begin with.

          • danmerqury Sep 29,2014 2:21 pm || Up

            Clearly sandwiches. Replace the beef patty with an identically-shaped chicken patty, keep everything else the same, and nobody has any problem calling it a sandwich.

        • AV Sep 29,2014 1:32 pm || Up

          …philly cheese steak?

          *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
          • nevermoor Sep 29,2014 11:42 pm || Up

            Oooh. Good call.

            If that (or any other well made grinder) isn’t a sandwich, you’ve got a failed definition.

            Chicken Parm?

            "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
            • Glorious Mundy Sep 30,2014 7:35 am || Up

              Lobster roll?

              • Dial C for Concupiscence Sep 30,2014 10:24 am || Up

                None are sandwiches. (Well most chicken parms with bread I’ve had are between two pieces of bread, so that’s a different beast than philly cheese steaks or lobster rolls). They are definitely sandwich-like objects, even spiritually sandwiches, but technically, they’re both part of the “hollow it out and stuff it with filling” pita grouping. There’s the instinct to call them sandwiches because what you’re hollowing out and stuffing is bread-based rather than, say, a whole chicken, but the fact remains: not two separate pieces.

                There’s a reason neither have “sandwich” in their name. I’ve even gone to get lobster rolls in Boston and seen “lobster roll” and “lobster sandwich” on the menu. Two different menu items. Guess what the difference was? Hint: not the lobster filling

                • Glorious Mundy Sep 30,2014 10:27 am || Up

                  Is an open-faced sandwich an oxymoron? Hint: the answer is yes.

                • nevermoor Sep 30,2014 10:43 am || Up

                  I agree with this.

                  "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
        • AV May 10,2017 1:18 pm || Up

          dial C for ahead of his fuxkcding time.

          https://xkcd.com/1835/

          *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • AV Sep 28,2014 5:47 pm || Up

      call me old fashioned, but i feel the best utopian literature is seen during the renaissance, somewhat skipping the enlightenment and then resurfacing strongly during modernity, and that hotdogs should come with cheese already inside them.

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • 5Aces Sep 28,2014 5:51 pm || Up

        Call me old fashioned, but I love how the sun and all other planets circle around us showing their respect as we are the center of the universe.

        Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
        • AV Sep 28,2014 5:54 pm || Up

          i just think the fact glasses fit on our noses and pants fit on our legs demonstrates that noses were invented for the purpose of holding up glasses and legs for the purpose of giving pants something to do.

          *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
          • Bed Sep 28,2014 6:36 pm || Up

            But seriously, folks…you guys are the best.

            But seriously, folks...
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Sep 28,2014 6:02 pm || Up

      In honor of Josh Reddick today I gotta give a shoutout to Balzac.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • AV Sep 28,2014 6:11 pm || Up

        not sure if you’re connecting balzac’s romanticism or his naturalism… to cheese hot dogs, at least that part is clear.

        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • 5Aces Sep 28,2014 6:58 pm || Up

        Chaucer, Rabelais, Balzac!

        Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
  2. 5Aces Sep 28,2014 5:33 pm

    My friend (those of you at the FKup met him) knew I didn’t want to trust slegnA. He was the first one to text me and sent me this.

    Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
    • Bed Sep 28,2014 5:37 pm || Up

      All of life’s questions are answered in Major League.

      But seriously, folks...
  3. Soaker Sep 28,2014 5:43 pm

    So…which retread is in line to be KU’s next coach?

    What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
    • 5Aces Sep 28,2014 5:50 pm || Up

      They should go after Dennis Allen.

      Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
      • Bed Sep 28,2014 6:36 pm || Up

        NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!(Bed runs screaming into the night)

        But seriously, folks...
    • Bed Sep 28,2014 6:40 pm || Up

      The KU job is a tough situation. Basketball is always going to be number one in Lawrence. I’d try and bring in a good, young OC from a big program and let him loose.

      But seriously, folks...
      • FreeSeatUpgrade Sep 28,2014 7:33 pm || Up

        And while the State of Kansas can’t offer much in the way of salary, they’ll sweeten the deal with all the dildos the new coach can use.

        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
        • Bed Sep 28,2014 7:48 pm || Up

          Well, Governor Brownback is a dildo himself so that makes sense.

          But seriously, folks...
  4. FreeSeatUpgrade Sep 28,2014 6:01 pm

    There’s a harsh truth to face. No way I’m gonna make it on the outside in the gamethread.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • 5Aces Sep 29,2014 7:10 am || Up

      Kept meaning to come back to this. Thought it was funny when I read it, but was worried it meant you were leaving for the playoffs.

      Then about 30 minutes later it clicked-ASVD FSU, Best secondary use of a title I have seen in a LOONG time.

      Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
    • 5Aces Sep 29,2014 7:11 am || Up

      Monkeyball was here

      So was FSU

      Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
  5. Jennifer Sep 28,2014 6:03 pm

    I’m dead.

    • Bed Sep 28,2014 6:45 pm || Up

      and loving it!

      But seriously, folks...
      • Jennifer Sep 28,2014 7:06 pm || Up

        I’ve had a crazy four days. I’m blessed.

        • Bed Sep 28,2014 7:07 pm || Up

          Cool. Life should be crazy and fun as much as possible.

          But seriously, folks...
  6. grover Sep 28,2014 6:17 pm

    That took longer than I expected.

    But…

    Playoffs.

    • Dial C for Concupiscence Sep 29,2014 9:04 am || Up

      They just wanted to make sure that all the games they played mattered. You know, for the fans or something

  7. Glorious Mundy Sep 28,2014 6:19 pm

    Looks like very nice weather forecast for KC on Tuesday. 90% chance of rain on Wednesday.

    • Future Ed Sep 28,2014 6:45 pm || Up

      Rain will be brought

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • Kay Temple Kirk Sep 29,2014 7:59 am || Up

      Perfect post-loss mourning weather for the Kansas Citians…

      \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
  8. Bed Sep 28,2014 6:44 pm

    Caramel apples or candied apples?

    But seriously, folks...
    • AV Sep 28,2014 6:51 pm || Up

      why, are we out of bananas with dulce de leche?

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • Bed Sep 28,2014 6:54 pm || Up

        It’s Autumn…it feels like the candy apple time of year.

        But seriously, folks...
    • Future Ed Sep 28,2014 6:54 pm || Up

      Caramel

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • ptbnl Sep 28,2014 6:57 pm || Up

      Milk stout floats.

      If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
      • Bed Sep 28,2014 6:59 pm || Up

        I was saving those to go against volunteer work.

        But seriously, folks...
      • AV Sep 29,2014 2:26 am || Up

        i sure could use a warm one right now.

        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • Dial C for Concupiscence Sep 29,2014 9:03 am || Up

        Very delicious

    • 5Aces Sep 28,2014 7:00 pm || Up
      Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
      • Bed Sep 28,2014 7:01 pm || Up

        I was saving those to go against waffles.

        But seriously, folks...
  9. Bed Sep 28,2014 6:47 pm

    I’m curious to hear the story about why Derek Carr was left in for one play when he was clearly hurt and how he had to help himself off the field without anyone coming to help him. Dipshit Allen seemed more interested in throwing his red flag than the fact his QB was hurt. I’ve never seen anything like it. This team has no soul.

    But seriously, folks...
    • 5Aces Sep 28,2014 7:02 pm || Up

      I dont even know if I have watched a half of football yet, but DC4 is the only one I trust out there and if he cant dont much by himself. I stand by my wish that they would have let pick-6 run out there for half a season to get broken and let Derek see things. Every week I fear how much this is going to set back his development.

      Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
      • Bed Sep 28,2014 7:05 pm || Up

        I like the kid. He has good zip on the ball and he doesn’t get flustered in the pocket. In the first series they let him go down the field and it worked pretty well. Then they went back to the short passes to the line of scrimmage crap. With a better OL, a decent running back, and a couple of good receivers he might be a player.

        But seriously, folks...
        • 5Aces Sep 28,2014 7:14 pm || Up

          So, if the Raiders can get 2 good lines, good receivers RBs, a secondary and a couple of LBs they should be alright. That should be the marketing campaign for next year.

          Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
          • Bed Sep 28,2014 7:18 pm || Up

            Oh, and a new GM, HC, OC, DC, STC, punt returner, barber for the owner, and a new stadium.

            But seriously, folks...
        • danmerqury Sep 29,2014 2:23 pm || Up

          The offensive line isn’t half bad, and Gabe Jackson seems like quite the draft pick. I really like what I’ve seen from Carr so far. The rest of the team, hahahahhahahaaahahaahaha.

          • MikeV Sep 29,2014 3:40 pm || Up

            I think Mack will be fine.

            And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

            Thanks, and go As.

            • danmerqury Sep 29,2014 5:41 pm || Up

              Mack will be more than fine. He’s been basically excellent so far, especially against the run game. But one LB can’t do it all. Which is very, very apparent.

              • MikeV Sep 29,2014 8:13 pm || Up

                Sure, but with Carr and Mack you have two pretty good pieces to build with. Gabe Jackson looks good too.

                I’m not sure it’s a surprise to anybody that Tuck and the other FAs aren’t very good — they were let go for a reason and the Raiders *HAD* to spend money to reach the salary floor.

                And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

                Thanks, and go As.

                • danmerqury Sep 29,2014 11:03 pm || Up

                  I guess. I actually had some semblance of expectations this year, with Tuck and Woodley in the fold. But they’ve been entirely invisible. The defense is hilarious in how bad it is.

                • MikeV Sep 29,2014 11:12 pm || Up

                  Grover’s Oakland Tax theory is alive and well — but it’s in football!

                  And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

                  Thanks, and go As.

        • 5Aces Jun 23,2017 2:55 pm || Up

          Bed with more psychic witchcraftiness!

          Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
  10. Bed Sep 28,2014 6:50 pm

    What the hell is going on with the Saints? The Cowboys are laying the wood to them. Crazy week of football.

    But seriously, folks...
  11. Bed Sep 28,2014 7:02 pm

    Derek Jeter has played his last game…life as we know it is over.

    But seriously, folks...
    • andeux Sep 28,2014 7:56 pm || Up

      Don’t worry, they’ll still talk about him during every MLB game for at least the next year.

      TINSTAAFK
      • sslinger Sep 28,2014 9:19 pm || Up

        Probably true, but it has been refreshing that Favre seems to have faded into the background pretty quickly.

        • nevermoor Sep 29,2014 11:44 pm || Up

          Disagree. Unless Jeter starts texting junk-shots I think we’re screwed.

          "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
          • Dial C for Concupiscence Sep 30,2014 10:27 am || Up

            I think we’ll be hearing plenty of Jeter any time the Yankees are involved next year. I can already see the CSN graphic: “Filling Jeter’s Shoes: How Yankees Shortstops Have Played This Year”

            • Glorious Mundy Sep 30,2014 10:29 am || Up

              And that will be when we’re playing the Astros.

              • Dial C for Concupiscence Sep 30,2014 10:32 am || Up

                Well what else are they going to talk about when the Astros are in town? The game at hand?

              • 5Aces Sep 30,2014 10:34 am || Up

                SHUT UP VINCE!

                Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
    • Dial C for Concupiscence Sep 29,2014 9:05 am || Up

      Might as well blow it all up now

      • sslinger Sep 29,2014 2:48 pm || Up

        I guess this is a good place for more fun with Jeter.

  12. Glorious Mundy Sep 28,2014 7:03 pm

    If Dennis Allen is no longer a football coach who coaches football players to make football plays on the football field, then what is he?

    • Bed Sep 28,2014 7:06 pm || Up

      It’s an existential dilemma that only he can face.

      But seriously, folks...
    • Soaker Sep 28,2014 7:09 pm || Up

      It’s too bad about Jeff Tedford. I thought NFL offensive coordinator was a job that was perfect for him.

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
      • Bed Sep 28,2014 7:12 pm || Up

        Every day we have good health is a day to enjoy.

        But seriously, folks...
    • 5Aces Sep 28,2014 7:12 pm || Up

      Don’t tell anyone-but I’m starting to think he never was said coach.

      Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
      • Bed Sep 28,2014 7:14 pm || Up

        As valid a theory as any other I’ve heard.

        But seriously, folks...
  13. Bed Sep 28,2014 7:08 pm

    I can’t wait for the play in game. Playoff baseball is fun.

    But seriously, folks...
    • Glorious Mundy Sep 28,2014 7:10 pm || Up

      It is, but I am going to be a damn wreck.

      • Bed Sep 28,2014 7:13 pm || Up

        I’m just going to enjoy it.

        But seriously, folks...
  14. Bed Sep 28,2014 7:11 pm

    I think the people who love Matt McGroin are the same ones who loved Bruce Gradkowski. You ain’t ever winning much with these two duds.

    But seriously, folks...
    • 5Aces Sep 28,2014 7:18 pm || Up

      People like them because you can win a game with them. And if you have a team that can stay close with other bad teams, they can have the grit to get you a few wins.

      But that word much is where it becomes a problem. That and the whole “the NFL has good teams too” thing.

      Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
      • Bed Sep 28,2014 7:20 pm || Up

        Good analysis…I guess I just have a natural hatred for any player called “gritty” no matter the sport. I like TALENT…chemistry and grit are things for sportswriters to write about.

        But seriously, folks...
        • 5Aces Sep 28,2014 7:23 pm || Up

          I liked Gradkowski but I always knew what he was. He was a winner when I compared him to JaWalrus.

          When I was a kid I had hope for at least 2-3 years that we would just let Vince Evans be Vince Evans and he would take us to the promised land. I dont do that anymore.

          Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
          • Bed Sep 28,2014 7:29 pm || Up

            I hated Gradkowski from the jump. Vince could be fun when he got in the game. He hung around the game for a long time. The QB I still wonder about is Steve Beurlein. If he hadn’t pissed Al off I wonder if he might have matured into a solid starter for them.

            But seriously, folks...
  15. Bed Sep 28,2014 7:16 pm

    Here’s the thing. If Reggie McKenzie was fired today he would likely never even get another interview to be a team’s GM. Dennis Allen does a terrible job getting the team ready, and his teams never make successful adjustments at halftime, but this team is bad and it’s old…that’s on McKenzie.

    But seriously, folks...
    • 5Aces Sep 28,2014 7:21 pm || Up

      Well let me take the other extreme. The team had to be old because that was the only way to get players-a $$ grab with RM hoping they would play up. But as soon as they saw what a joke DA is they checked out and that was that. So I will blame all of this on DA.

      Here’s the catch though. Who is responsible for DA? I like the guy but every problem with this team at this point goes back to 1 person. And it aint Lew Wolff and it aint Hue Jackson.

      Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
      • Bed Sep 28,2014 7:26 pm || Up

        I just don’t see many successful pick ups for McKenzie. He’s had three drafts that haven’t brought in much talent. It really isn’t hard to clear cap space if you build a team that can’t compete most weeks. There just aren’t many building blocks on this roster. I like Carr…people say Mack is talented but so far I see him out of position a lot…I still have high hopes for him but we’ll see. What other players drafted by McKenzie are building blocks? Maybe Jackson on the OL, maybe Moore at LB although he makes a lot of mistakes. Rivera at TE showed flashes last season. Pretty bare cupboard.

        But seriously, folks...
        • 5Aces Sep 28,2014 7:45 pm || Up

          Well it has begun

          A friend suggested the easy out: load DA’s luggage with box cutters, a Koran, and a map of Levi’s stadium.

          Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
          • Soaker Sep 28,2014 7:49 pm || Up

            Charlie Weis is available to finish out the season.

            What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
            • Bed Sep 28,2014 7:51 pm || Up

              Soaker…are you trying to kill me?

              But seriously, folks...
          • Bed Sep 28,2014 7:49 pm || Up

            I can’t imagine DA not being fired at this point. Today’s loss was an embarrassment in every way. 10 game losing streaks are, um…bad and stuff.

            But seriously, folks...
            • 5Aces Sep 28,2014 10:07 pm || Up

              Now heard the Tweet has been retracted. I have a feeling Mark is looking for an overhead projector in Heathrow as we speak.

              Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
  16. colin Sep 28,2014 7:54 pm

    How is it that we only have *one* lounge that is tagged with “Print Sandwich 2: Electric Sandwichroo”??

    • Bed Sep 28,2014 7:58 pm || Up

      It’s a question that can’t really be answered in a satisfactory way. I failed Free Kraut and America.

      But seriously, folks...
    • Future Ed Sep 28,2014 8:16 pm || Up

      listening to chip hale’s kgmz promo, I don’t think he wsa acting in that commercial

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
  17. Bed Sep 28,2014 7:56 pm

    I guess I’ll call this coachabaiting…my first choice for next year is Gruden but it doesn’t seem likely and maybe it’s best to leave the past in the past. After that I’m looking for a type. I want an offensive coach. I want a coach who is flexible. I want someone who has at least three years experience as an OC. I don’t want a retread. I want someone who has some charisma. I want someone who’s hungry to succeed.

    But seriously, folks...
    • nevermoor Sep 28,2014 8:03 pm || Up

      Singletary is probably better now.

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
      • Bed Sep 28,2014 8:04 pm || Up

        nevermoor…are you trying to kill me?

        But seriously, folks...
        • nevermoor Sep 29,2014 11:45 pm || Up

          Hey, if he turned a Raiders player into Vernon Davis 2.0, you guys would have a good player.

          "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • MikeV Sep 28,2014 10:19 pm || Up

      my first choice for next year is Gruden

      I don’t want a retread.

      ???

      *IF* Gruden were to come back, I don’t think he would bother unless it was stupid money, but he’s already making stupid money with ESPN. Honestly, I think that the IDEA of Gruden is more attractive than Gruden himself at this point.

      Raiders are finally out of cap hell. They need a coach/GM who is able to build a team — basically they need to strike gold like SF did with Harbaugh/Baalke.

      And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

      Thanks, and go As.

      • Bed Sep 28,2014 10:27 pm || Up

        I view a retread as a failed coach. Gruden is a Super Bowl winning coach. I’m not sure what’s ??? about that.

        But seriously, folks...
        • MikeV Sep 28,2014 10:38 pm || Up

          He’s still a coach they’ve had before. He hasn’t bounced around the league like some guys have though.

          It wouldn’t be a terrible hire but I think he’d need to 100% do what HE wants, whether that’s having a GM or making decisions himself.

          I also think it’s a little absurd that Raider coaches aren’t given windows to compete, but also other stuff. It was clear that it was going to take a few years to fix the salary cap BS, a few years to build up, and then expect playoff teams. That hasn’t happened.

          And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

          Thanks, and go As.

          • Bed Sep 28,2014 10:43 pm || Up

            Well, we’re arguing about how we view a word…I take your point but as I say I don’t see him as a retread. The only way Gruden comes back is if he gets total control and a blank check. I agree that coaches and GM’s need time but this Raiders team seems worse now than ever and less talented than ever and that’s not acceptable after three drafts for this GM and coach.

            But seriously, folks...
            • 5Aces Sep 28,2014 10:53 pm || Up

              Agreed. And I have not been someone who has said “we need to be at x by 201y” specifically because so much of it is hitting things right. But so far I have seen pretty much no decisions that have either 1)been met with “hey, check out the Raiders doing the right thing” or 2) people NOT saying it but results on the field showing otherwise.

              Now, to their credit, we may have a better infrastructure now than when Al died. I know that was the huge issue. But I cant see that and I have no reason to believe it is making a difference. And also, it seems like penalties are getting better. Thats great. But I really think almost anyone could have done that. And going from pretty bad with a ton of penalties to much worse without them is not a direction yet.

              Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
              • Bed Sep 28,2014 10:59 pm || Up

                I also give McKenzie and Mark Davis some credit for making the Raiders into a more modern operation and less like a cult from the 1970’s. But like you said that’s not an amazing accomplishment it’s just NFL 101 stuff at this point. My main thing is where are the building blocks. If we were losing but we had 3-4 young players on both sides of the ball that looked like players I’d be on board.

                But seriously, folks...
            • MikeV Sep 28,2014 10:53 pm || Up

              I would agree on the drafts. I wonder if McKenzie was mostly brought in to fix the finances.

              And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

              Thanks, and go As.

              • Bed Sep 28,2014 10:56 pm || Up

                My understanding is that McKenzie was the player personnel guy in Green Bay so his expertise was in player acquisition and development. I’ll give him some credit for getting the financial house in order but like I said that easier to do if you aren’t putting a competitive team on the field.

                But seriously, folks...
  18. Bed Sep 28,2014 8:00 pm

    Okay, I changed my screen saver on my PC back to the A’s…got rid of that silver and black stuff. My wife has our kids on her PC screen saver…she’s a much better person than I am.

    But seriously, folks...
  19. FreeSeatUpgrade Sep 28,2014 8:12 pm

    A’s batters vs Shields. In 22 career PAs Balzac has five homers and a Schlongalicious 1.182 OPS.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • Bed Sep 28,2014 8:16 pm || Up

      The Royals traded for him for games like this just like the A’s traded for Lester. It should be a good game.

      But seriously, folks...
      • FreeSeatUpgrade Sep 28,2014 8:23 pm || Up

        I don’t want a good game, I want a brutal dismantling of Kansas City Royals and all they stand for. By the third inning I hope to hear the gnashing of their teeth and the lamentations of their women all the way out here in the East Bay.

        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
        • AV Sep 28,2014 8:27 pm || Up

          what do they stand for? i’d like them if they weren’t standing directly in the A’s way.

          *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
          • FreeSeatUpgrade Sep 28,2014 9:00 pm || Up

            Until Tuesday’s game is over, as far as I’m concerned each and every Royal player, employee and fan is a charter member of Brownshirts for Brownback.

            After Tuesday I will be willing to entertain mitigating factors such as small market pluckiness and excellent barbeque.

            "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
            • dmoas Sep 28,2014 9:11 pm || Up

              Mmm… BBQ. The only thing Texas is good for.

            • Dial C for Concupiscence Sep 29,2014 9:16 am || Up

              This is a right and proper viewpoint

              • Soaker Sep 29,2014 9:19 am || Up

                Except for being in the wrong state. “Assholes for Ashcroft”, perhaps?

                What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
          • Kay Temple Kirk Sep 29,2014 8:04 am || Up

            They’re owned by WalMart.

            \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
        • Bed Sep 28,2014 8:30 pm || Up

          I have so many Royals fan friends that I’ve been able to feel superior to over the last 15 or so years. I’d like that to continue.

          But seriously, folks...
        • Soaker Sep 28,2014 8:31 pm || Up

          The A’s do have a successful postseason history vs. the Royals. LOL at Keith Drumright DHing and batting third in Game 1.

          What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
          • East Bay Evans Sep 28,2014 9:04 pm || Up

            Game 3 is on youtube! Minus Mt. Davis and all.

            • Soaker Sep 28,2014 9:13 pm || Up

              If you look close you’ll see Cal sophomore Soaker out there in the center field bleachers.

              What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
            • Glorious Mundy Sep 28,2014 9:16 pm || Up

              Kelvin Moore, Dave McKay, Fred Stanley, and Mickey Klutts. So we’ve certainly had worse infields on playoff teams that than the current one.

              • Bed Sep 28,2014 9:20 pm || Up

                If there had been a FK back then Mickey Klutts would have been a site legend.

                But seriously, folks...
                • Englishmajor Sep 28,2014 10:59 pm || Up

                  I want a KLUTTS shirsey now.

                • Bed Sep 28,2014 11:02 pm || Up

                  I may make it my new FK mission to bring up Klutts as much as possible. VORP, BatSam!, and Wink Martindale may have to take a back seat for awhile.

                  But seriously, folks...
                • 5Aces Sep 28,2014 11:24 pm || Up

                  I think there could be a great market for throwback shirseys. And it couldnt be that hard to do. Heck, they have shirt printing guys at my daughter’s elementary school x-country championships, I would hope a MLB operation could handle that.

                  Have 4-5 designs (A couple of 70’s, a couple of 80’s and modern). Then you can choose player and #. They could even say you have to show it on Baseball Reference or something if they dont want to have issues with my trying to order something dirty like ’34 Fingers’ or something.

                  Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
            • Glorious Mundy Sep 28,2014 9:21 pm || Up

              Billy Martin looking good in the kelly green satin jacket.

            • Glorious Mundy Sep 28,2014 9:23 pm || Up

              Rickey taking a leadoff walk just got me so excited.

              • Glorious Mundy Sep 28,2014 9:35 pm || Up

                Steals second on a ridiculous jump. Scores from there on an infield hit by Armas.

                • Glorious Mundy Sep 28,2014 9:52 pm || Up

                  Rips a single to left next time up. They pick him off but screw up the rundown and he gets to second.

                • Glorious Mundy Sep 28,2014 9:55 pm || Up

                  Murphy pops a drag bunt toward second for a basehit. Frank White botches the flip to first and Rickey scores from second again.

                • Glorious Mundy Sep 28,2014 9:56 pm || Up

                  It’s shocking how quickly young Rickey went from standing still to top speed. He was like a sprinter, but with no blocks to push from.

            • Glorious Mundy Sep 28,2014 9:27 pm || Up

              I hope the network graphic guy who identified Dwayne Murphy as Drumright got fired for that blunder.

              • AV Sep 28,2014 10:36 pm || Up

                the guy who catches the foul ball in the midst puffing a cig.

                *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
                • Bed Sep 28,2014 10:37 pm || Up

                  I love seeing old golf clips where all the golfers are throwing down cigs right before they swing. Many of the golfers were fat too…it was a great time to be alive.

                  But seriously, folks...
            • Glorious Mundy Sep 28,2014 9:42 pm || Up

              Whoa, chainlink fencing above the outfield wall. I don’t remember that.

              • AV Sep 28,2014 9:49 pm || Up

                did you hear them mention how there’s a temporary outfield fence ATM for next week’s raider’s game, and that the whole outfield is about 3 feet shorter than normal? not sure if you’re talking about the same thing.

                i’m weirded out by no diamond level seating behind HP, while in the outfield the stands come down to nearly field level. and home plate seems to be a little bit toward the outfield, so that there’s a bigger gap between the foul lines and the side wall parallel to them, plus even more foul ground than we’re used to. and the gap between levels that allows the a window of sun to hit the field.

                *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
              • Soaker Sep 28,2014 9:52 pm || Up

                They had that for a couple years in the early 80s to expand the bleacher capacity. Also I think it was part of the Raiders/Invaders football configuration before baseball season ended. They were terrible seats for baseball because you had to look through the fence, so people crowded into the higher rows. It resulted in fights at high-attendance games, so they abandoned it when the Invaders went kaput.

                What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
        • dmoas Sep 28,2014 9:10 pm || Up

          Does it help that Shields has not done well in the playoffs? So they made a bit of a mistake (I hope) in thinking that he’s big game pitcher. Meanwhile, Lester has a lot of history being a big game pitcher.

          • 5Aces Sep 28,2014 10:12 pm || Up

            But but but…his name is James!

            Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
        • 5Aces Sep 28,2014 10:10 pm || Up

          I want to forever be able to laugh in the face of those who dare call him “Big Game”.

          I also want a celebration so big in the locker room after that by Sunday in Oakland #Reddicking has become a thing along the lines of Tebowing.

          Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
          • Glorious Mundy Sep 28,2014 10:13 pm || Up

            Reddick stark naked in the fountain is definitely in play.

            • dmoas Sep 28,2014 10:28 pm || Up

              I want a celebration so big that Wolff is (thankfully censored on TV) naked when he receives the WS trophy from Selig and have him say “They don’t party like *this* is San Jose* muhahahaha!”.

            • 5Aces Sep 28,2014 10:34 pm || Up

              The underoos on his head, the championship belt and that’s it.

              Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
              • Bed Sep 28,2014 10:35 pm || Up

                If the A’s win I might be even be willing to untuck my polo shirt.

                But seriously, folks...
                • nevermoor Sep 29,2014 11:50 pm || Up

                  Wait… I thought you were a republican.

                  "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • Englishmajor Sep 28,2014 8:30 pm || Up

      Every time I think of Shields I think of Braden’s perfect game and how often in the early innings of it, the A’s broadcasters are concerned that no one will be able to get a hit off Big Game James. Not that he isn’t very good.

      • Bed Sep 28,2014 8:47 pm || Up

        I think of Mark Shields but then I am a semi-reformed political news junkie. Capital Gang For Life Y’all!

        But seriously, folks...
        • AV Sep 28,2014 8:52 pm || Up

          i think of a joke i heard when i was a kid and always try to remember if it was gallagher or george carlin who said it. punchline was something like: did you have a good time on your date? nah, she brought along her brooke shields.

          *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
          • Bed Sep 28,2014 9:00 pm || Up

            That sounds more like a Gallagher bit…were any watermelons involved?

            But seriously, folks...
            • AV Sep 28,2014 9:07 pm || Up

              delicious mandarins, more like.

              *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
              • AV Sep 28,2014 9:11 pm || Up

                holy smokes!

                brooke and hr!

                *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
                • Bed Sep 28,2014 9:22 pm || Up

                  My girl wants to party all the time…party all the time…party all the time.

                  But seriously, folks...
                • Future Ed Sep 29,2014 7:14 am || Up

                  Rally round Jah Suddenly Susan

                  I have $5. No I don\'t.
  20. Bed Sep 28,2014 8:23 pm

    So it turns out trying to hire Perry Mason isn’t a sound legal strategy.

    But seriously, folks...
    • 5Aces Sep 28,2014 10:14 pm || Up

      Better than putting your life in the hands of Hamilton Burger.

      Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
      • dmoas Sep 28,2014 10:28 pm || Up

        I’ve always been a Burr Burger man myself.

  21. AV Sep 28,2014 8:29 pm

    every time i read about ai weiwei i end up with the lil boosie song stuck in my head.

    edit. links added for bed’s ref.

    *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • Bed Sep 28,2014 8:30 pm || Up

      I’ve read this post three times…yep, still no clue what any of it meant.

      But seriously, folks...
    • Englishmajor Sep 28,2014 8:34 pm || Up

      Yet another person who admits to never going to Alcatraz until this exhibition. (I haven’t been there either.)

      • Bed Sep 28,2014 8:39 pm || Up

        I escaped from there with Clint. I had to carry his sorry ass the whole time.

        But seriously, folks...
        • AV Sep 28,2014 8:50 pm || Up

          i’m doing this one of these years. swam twice that long yesterday in about 2 hours, so i don’t see the problem (other than pure fear and not being in a pool where you can see the bottom).

          *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
          • Bed Sep 28,2014 8:55 pm || Up

            I wish I could do it with you. It sounds like a grand challenge.

            But seriously, folks...
            • AV Sep 28,2014 8:57 pm || Up

              didn’t you do a marathon? now that’s a challenge.

              *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
              • Bed Sep 28,2014 8:59 pm || Up

                I finally did finish one. I’m hopping to do a second one later this fall.

                But seriously, folks...
                • AV Sep 28,2014 9:03 pm || Up

                  3 miles is my limit. i stand in awe of you. (if my knees allow it, otherwise i sit.)

                  *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
                • Bed Sep 28,2014 9:10 pm || Up

                  I’m going to continue to try and run until I’m 45 and then it’s on to bikes and swimming.

                  But seriously, folks...
                • AV Sep 28,2014 9:19 pm || Up

                  i wish every joint in both our bodies the ability to move painlessly for as long as possible.

                  *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
                • Bed Sep 28,2014 9:21 pm || Up

                  Heh…yeah, my feet after all these years of running could cure anyone with a foot fetish…ugly bastards the both of them.

                  But seriously, folks...
          • AV Sep 13,2015 1:04 pm || Up

            ✓

            fairly cake, nice view.

            *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
            • elcroata Sep 14,2015 1:07 am || Up

              Congrats. How was it current-wise?

              Because survival is insufficient
              • AV Sep 14,2015 8:47 am || Up

                it wasn’t bad. they made such a big deal of it in orientation that perhaps i overcompensated. they said, it’s going to be flooding (coming in) slowly for the first 45 minutes, then stronger after that. and they added, faster swimmers should aim for the left of ft mason (closer to the destination) and slower should aim for the right. the current would curve you in. but not knowing i was ahead of the peloton i kept aiming for ft mason too long and had to make a hard turn when a kayak came by to get me back on course. and then i had no idea what the entrance of aquatic park looked like from the other side so i fumbled a little there.

                if i do it again, it’ll be to better my time just by not swimming in such a big loop. honestly, it wasn’t very tough and when i was done i didn’t feel like i’d gotten as much of a workout as other times that i just swim more but in a pool. the event i’m looking at now is from the beach of aquatic park, around alcatraz, and back to the park. 2.5~3 miles.

                the one crazy thing is when you catch a big boat’s wake and find yourself at the peak of a swell in mid stroke, with the front of your body in the air and no water under your arm. those came from containers ships that were already crossing in front of us as we jumped in, but that shipping lane gets closed momentarily for the event, so it’s no like we were swimming dodging ships.

                *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • AV Sep 28,2014 8:43 pm || Up

        i love alcatraz. am a touch miffed about this exhibit being there actually. seems opportunistic and disrespectful to the place, kinda like the blood stains on the ceiling of the upstairs hallway (which are fake blood that the film crew of the rock never cleaned up when they were done shooting).

        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
        • Bed Sep 28,2014 8:46 pm || Up

          AV…Welcome to The Rock. (said in Scottish brogue)

          But seriously, folks...
        • FreeSeatUpgrade Sep 28,2014 9:02 pm || Up

          Funny, I had the exact same reaction earlier today, as the missus and I were kicking around SF doing stuff and considered Alcatraz, which I absolutely love, and then decided not to because of the exhibit and presumed attendant crowds.

          "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  22. Bed Sep 28,2014 8:50 pm

    Love cuts like a knife. Apathy cuts like a butter knife.

    But seriously, folks...
    • AV Sep 28,2014 8:53 pm || Up

      still feels so right.

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • Bed Sep 28,2014 8:55 pm || Up

        I want to Run to You, Free Kraut.

        But seriously, folks...
  23. Bed Sep 28,2014 8:54 pm

    Mr. Chairman I would like to thank the distinguished gentleman from North Dakota for his kind words about my cankles.

    But seriously, folks...
  24. Bed Sep 28,2014 8:59 pm

    Food for thought…cottage cheese while crushing your enemies head with your scanner powers.

    But seriously, folks...
  25. FreeSeatUpgrade Sep 28,2014 9:05 pm

    Bed, something to look forward to: Today I let my daughter go to her first music festival, with no parental supervision. She returned home in great spirits and without the glassy eyes of the teenage miscreant that I sported when afforded such opportunities. But not without significant fretfulness on my part along the way.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • Bed Sep 28,2014 9:09 pm || Up

      Your daughter sounds like a great kid but that’s not a surprise. Being a parent is my favorite thing ever…even when Baby Phil projectile vomits on me.

      But seriously, folks...
      • FreeSeatUpgrade Sep 28,2014 9:12 pm || Up

        Yeah she’s awesome, and super responsible, way more so than I was at that age. Hell, probably more so than I am now.

        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
        • Bed Sep 28,2014 9:13 pm || Up

          I’m really looking forward to seeing the people my kids become. As long as they take after their mom they should be alright.

          But seriously, folks...
        • Jennifer Sep 29,2014 4:08 am || Up

          Saturday I jammed out with a seven year old at the barrier. She was alone. I asked where her parents were and she said they let her come up front by herself. I wanted to kidnap this kid. She was amazing. She snuck through people’s legs to get to the front, then was small enough to sit between the barrier rungs or whatever when she got tired. She said she came to see Lake Street Dive and she left after they were done. Great band. Great kid.

          I also picked up two strangers at the music festival and gave them rides. I made $20.

          • Jennifer Sep 29,2014 7:46 am || Up

            So what I guess I was wanting to say was I hope my concert friend and your daughters grow up to be independent and wonderful. My friend G can’t go anywhere by herself; she needs a man or someone to go with her because she’s scared. Don’t let them be like that.

  26. Bed Sep 28,2014 9:24 pm

    nunna nunna nunna nunna nunna BatSam! nunna nunna nunna nunna nunna BatSam!nunna nunna nunna nunna nunna BatSam! nunna nunna nunna nunna nunna BatSam!

    But seriously, folks...
    • Bed Sep 28,2014 9:24 pm || Up

      I’m not sure anyone liked this one when I did it before but that’s never stopped me.

      But seriously, folks...
  27. Bed Sep 28,2014 9:34 pm

    Coming up on the next all new NCIS: New Orleans…Scott Bakula makes another mortgage payment on his house.

    But seriously, folks...
  28. Bed Sep 28,2014 9:35 pm

    Denial ain’t just a swimming pool in Stockton.

    But seriously, folks...
  29. Bed Sep 28,2014 9:36 pm

    Remember kids…Tony the Tiger loves you which is why he wants you to get diabetes.

    But seriously, folks...
  30. Bed Sep 28,2014 9:49 pm

    It might be time to give up on my dream to represent the women’s gymnastic team at the 1996 Olympics in Atlanta.

    But seriously, folks...
  31. Bed Sep 28,2014 9:50 pm

    Once I figure out how to work in Print Sandwich and BatSam! into the same post I’ll win the internet.

    But seriously, folks...
  32. Bed Sep 28,2014 9:53 pm

    If this Oakland A’s season was an Aaron Sorkin T.V. show now is when you’d hear a triumphant Coldplay song. That would be followed by Billy Beane walking and talking in a hallway to that girl in accounting he’s had a secret crush on for years.

    But seriously, folks...
  33. Bed Sep 28,2014 9:57 pm

    I’ll never forget the day the Orcs attacked in the Gulf of Tolkien Incident.

    But seriously, folks...
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Sep 28,2014 10:43 pm || Up

      Just a prelude to the shock to the American public from the Ent Offensive.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • Bed Sep 28,2014 10:45 pm || Up

        Is this where I admit I never read the books and barely remember the first batch of movies?

        But seriously, folks...
        • ptbnl Sep 29,2014 1:47 am || Up

          That or go off at a tangent, like the AKC-sponsored Bay of Pugs invasion.

          If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
        • FreeSeatUpgrade Sep 29,2014 8:44 am || Up

          Mostly I couldn’t think of anything else that was similar to Tet.

          "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
          • AV Sep 29,2014 9:37 am || Up

            pet.

            *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
            • 5Aces Sep 29,2014 10:27 am || Up

              My name is CHET

              Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
  34. Bed Sep 28,2014 9:57 pm

    Lawrence, Kansas is just a more butch sounding Eugene, Oregon.

    But seriously, folks...
    • Kay Temple Kirk Sep 29,2014 8:09 am || Up

      They’re both queer and they both bring good chip dip to my parties, so we cool.

      \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
  35. Bed Sep 28,2014 9:59 pm

    I love the smell of Strawberry Lip Balm in the morning…it smells like…Mariah Carey.

    But seriously, folks...
  36. Bed Sep 28,2014 10:01 pm

    Highway to the Random Zone…I’m on the highway to the Random Zone.

    But seriously, folks...
  37. Bed Sep 28,2014 10:33 pm

    I think KU needs to schedule more schools like North Korea State.

    But seriously, folks...
  38. Bed Sep 28,2014 10:46 pm

    We should start a FK twitter feed and just make shit up about Future Ed.

    But seriously, folks...
    • 5Aces Sep 28,2014 10:57 pm || Up

      uh…we already did but we just make up shit about you, so…you’re welcome?

      Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
  39. Bed Sep 28,2014 11:09 pm

    I regret nothing!

    But seriously, folks...
  40. Kay Temple Kirk Sep 29,2014 7:58 am

    If the recursive universe is a screw, maybe there’s some kind of nut of deja vu… trans-universal memory/information.

    Thank you for watching this episode of “Silly Analogies.” Tune in next month when I tell the story of the 2014 World Champion Oakland Athletics, entitled “The 2003 Florida Marlins Ride Again!”

    \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
  41. harensheir15 Sep 30,2014 1:33 am

    There is a pizza vendor who walks around hawking his wares during games. I like his voice: bright, sonorous, it cuts through the din of the crowd. I bet you could hear him across the field, if Kara isn’t blaring from the PA.
    His calls always come in twos. First, a simple, long “peeet-zaaaaaaa…” Then he adds an ‘e’ to the end of the second to make “peeet-zaaaaaay…” The way he pitches timbre against inflection, one seems incomplete without the other now. Sometimes, especially on weeknight broadcasts, he comes through clearly on the radio if there’s a lull up in the booth. Helps me imagine I’m there when I’m not.

    I would like to hear him again before next year.

    Do your worst, James Shields.

    • AV Sep 30,2014 9:07 am || Up

      nice.

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • sslinger Sep 30,2014 9:11 am || Up

      The elongated ‘e’ sound at the end of the second call is ‘here’. In case we don’t know how to find him.

    • Englishmajor Sep 30,2014 9:29 am || Up

      I keep meaning to interview that guy, or at least record his spiel. Also the sarcastic vendor who sometimes hawks his snow cones as “Snowy Joeys – Hey, I got your frozen sugar and water right here!”, and Howard aka Crazylegs aka “Ket-Tle-Corn”.

      • Englishmajor Sep 30,2014 9:33 am || Up

        And I would like to see all of our Coliseum people again this year too, the ushers, the club-level greeters, the guards, the West Side Club bartenders, the bacon-wrapped-hot-dog vendors in the parking lot….I said “see you Tuesday!” to so many of them on my way out last week, I’m sorry I won’t see them today, but Sunday would be fine.

        • Dial C for Concupiscence Sep 30,2014 10:30 am || Up

          It’s a fresh new season out there, Hobbes. Let’s go exploring!

      • Glorious Mundy Sep 30,2014 10:20 am || Up

        Shout out to the vendor who makes thinly veiled dick jokes about those new enormous corn dogs.

    • danmerqury Sep 30,2014 2:18 pm || Up

      Oh dude, we all love the pizza guy. He can be down in 125, and we can hear him clear as day in the box. The amount of vocal projection is insane.

  42. Kay Temple Kirk Sep 30,2014 2:03 pm

    Yay! My homeless veteran friend who’s been staying with me just got accepted into a housing and job training program!

    He has a future now, and I don’t have to see my friend die on the streets. FK yeah!

    \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
    • Kay Temple Kirk Oct 18,2014 9:24 am || Up

      And it turns out the program is kinda bogus. Just referrals and vouchers… nothing sustainable.

      We’re still working on it.

      \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS

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