Merry Christmas, FK! ← FREE KRAUT!

Merry Christmas, FK! 37

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37 thoughts on “Merry Christmas, FK!

  1. FreeSeatUpgrade Dec 24,2009 9:10 pm

    Merry Christmas Charlie Kraut!

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  2. Leopold Bloom Dec 24,2009 9:46 pm

    Tervis Tumbler. Want one? Let me know before I leave lovely Florida in 36 days or so.

    Tervis

    • monkeyball Dec 24,2009 11:00 pm || Up

      If you put a dollar bill in it, that’d be a Tervis Buck. You could then flush the dollar down the toilet.

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  3. sslinger Dec 24,2009 9:54 pm

    Merry christmas FKers all! Here’s to the brains, banter, & bollocks that you all provide on a daily basis. Cheers!

  4. andeux Dec 24,2009 10:03 pm

    Thanks for making this little corner of the internet so great.
    May all your lives be abundant with cabbage, literal and figurative.

    TINSTAAFK
  5. monkeyball Dec 24,2009 10:58 pm

    First, get-to-open-one-gifty-on-xmas-eve present, courtesy of Mrs Monkeyball:

    Actual image of it sur le tete to follow.

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  6. JediLeroy Dec 25,2009 6:17 am

    So, over at **, grover just asked me if I didn’t have anything better to do than be on AN right now. For a minute, I didn’t remember what “AN” was. That’s what FK means to me. Thanks, guys.

    az di bobe volt gehat beytsim volt zi geven mayn zeyde
    • nevermoor Dec 25,2009 9:58 am || Up

      F**tastic.

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  7. mjdittmer Dec 25,2009 9:14 am

    Came downstairs this morning to make mrsdittmer some pancakes and coffee, and while the latter came to fruition, I have stalled on the former because we’re out of eggs. Whaddya say, FK–can one of you spare an egg?

  8. green star oakland Dec 25,2009 9:58 am
    From the in-laws

    The long-coveted PTBNL shirt and, from my father-in-law’s personal collection, the entire 1981 A’s team Topps cards.

    If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
    • monkeyball Dec 25,2009 10:21 am || Up

      I may have asked this before, but what’s the consensus on the pronunciation of that surname?
      – “PUTT-bunn-ull”
      – {raspberry}
      – “Puh-TUB-null”
      – “Langerhans”

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • nevermoor Dec 25,2009 10:44 am || Up

      I crown you winner.

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  9. monkeyball Dec 25,2009 10:22 am

    Byg Csnurb: A’s talking to Beltre. That’d be a nice Boxing Day present.

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  10. lenscrafters Dec 25,2009 11:23 am

    Merry Christmas everyone!

  11. salb918 Dec 25,2009 11:36 am

    1. Our first Christmas as a family, just the four of us. We decorated our Christmas Cactus last night, and put the presents underneath while listening to Christmas music cackling over the AM.
    2. We have now watched A Christmas Story 2.5 times (and counting).
    3. Cheese omelet, blueberry pancakes, turkey sausage.
    4. I forgot one of my son’s gifts at the office (my sister-in-law mailed it there). So I walked to the office, by myself, at about 10 this morning. It was Christmas…no construction, no cars, no undergrads (no nobody, for that matter), no kids. I hadn’t had that kind of silent time in forever, it feels like. It was a nice time to reflect on things. Now *that’s* a Christmas miracle.
    5. Tonight: baked ham + glaze (courtesy whole wallet), sweet potatoes, biscuits, salad, my wife’s cheesecake, and whatever Australians and Dominicans eat on Christmas (we’re potlucking with some fiends).
    6. My older son got a Thomas the Tank Engine bath toy, leading him to jump into the bath voluntarily for the first time in six months, and the first bath period in three weeks.
    7. It’s been a good Christmas.
    8. Merry Christmas, FK.

    • monkeyball Dec 25,2009 6:06 pm || Up

      5. What kind of fiends? Dope?

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • mjdittmer Dec 25,2009 11:30 pm || Up

      5. Also, what kind of Dominicans? (As you can see from the link, I have my preference.)

  12. monkeyball Dec 25,2009 6:05 pm

    Ugh. Mother Monkeyball caught our nasty GI bug. Not an optimal xmas.

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • Leopold Bloom Dec 25,2009 7:59 pm || Up

      where’s the promised pictures of you in a 2/3rds egg hat?

    • green star oakland Dec 26,2009 7:41 am || Up

      Ouch :-(

      Get her well soon, and enjoy a make-up xmas.

      If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
      • monkeyball Dec 26,2009 1:49 pm || Up

        Well, seems to have been a <24-hour bug. Keeping fingers crossed that her improvement continues.

        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  13. Leopold Bloom Dec 25,2009 9:06 pm

    I start to miss baseball so much this time of year that I’m watching Joe Buck and Tim McCarver call the Yankees clinching game five against the Mets right now.

    {deep sigh}

    I think I have a problem. I need help.

    • Leopold Bloom Dec 25,2009 10:57 pm || Up

      It gets worse.

      I scream at the television, at McCarver (“MORON!”), at Buck (“You are such a douche!”).

      I need help.

      • mikeA Dec 25,2009 11:14 pm || Up

        I gotta think someone will stab them sooner or later and then we can all live in peace.

    • salb918 Dec 26,2009 6:03 am || Up

      It’s worse for me. I miss baseball so much this time of year that I…I…watch football.

  14. batgirl Dec 26,2009 6:27 am

    Happy Late Christmas, everyone!

    Hope yours was as warm as a puppy in front of a heating vent
    Chantal

    My best gag Christmas gift of the day: Segway lesson! If you see two morons segway-ing around the Embarcadero on January 5th, that’d be us. Pictures to follow!

    When I was 16, I got my first paycheck job. I worked in the “Mother Hubbard’s Cupboard” snack bar at a kids amusement park called the North Pole in Cascade, CO. My grandparents lived in Cascade when I was growing up, so we had a season pass and went there just about every weekend. Needless to say, when you see the park after you’re not a child anymore, things are a bit different. It was awful. I had to wear a holly-patterned green and red elf smock every day. It was non-stop Christmas music all day, every day for 3 months. And my boss wouldn’t stop yelling at me for putting too many chips in an order of nachos “It’s just too much!!”

    Anyway, for a long time, I couldn’t stand Christmas music. I’m finally at a point where I can stomach it, so in honor of mikeA, a list of 10 Christmas songs off the top of my head that I enjoy:

    1. Marshmallow World – Darleen Love
    2. Christmas Wrapping – The Waitresses
    3. All I Want for Christmas is You – Mariah Carey (I know, I know, it’s Mariah Carey. It’s also a great song)
    4. Away in a Manger – Frank Sinatra
    5. What do you Get a Wookie for Christmas (When he Already Owns a Comb?) – Star Wars Christmas
    6. Heat Miser Snow Miser
    7. Father Christmas – The Kinks
    8. The Christmas Song – The Raveonettes
    9. The Chipmunks Christmas song – (I still love this one)
    10. Anything else on the Phil Spector Christmas album

    • the dogfather Dec 26,2009 8:02 am || Up

      C’mon, elfin one, I know there have gotta be pics of that first job.

      Great photo!

      Two more faves:

      –Light of the Stable, Emmylou Harris

      –A Belafonte Christmas, whole dam’ thing. A little spiritual, a little Caribbean, and one of mankind’s great voices. I’m sure part of it is that in my mind’s ear I can still hear my dad doing the bass harmonies, but no other album touches me like that one does. It even beats “Day-o.”

      The meaning of life is not so much found, as it is Made. -- Opus
    • green star oakland Dec 26,2009 8:06 am || Up

      That’s one blissed-out puppy.

      More puppy-bliss, courtesy of Santa

      – this year’s letter had asked for “a soft toy puppy as big as a medium-sized rabbit”.

      Also, I believe that looping Xmas music in workplaces is banned by those “quaint” Geneva Conventions. Except for Slade’s “Merry Xmas Everybody”.

      If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
      • batgirl Dec 26,2009 8:40 am || Up

        That Slade song is awesome too!

        “as big as a medium-sized rabbit”…that is too funny/adorable. Looks like Santa fit the bill just right!

    • FreeSeatUpgrade Dec 26,2009 9:32 am || Up

      My boffo fave Xmas song:

      Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, as performed by Bing Crosby and Judy Garland in 1950:

      “Rudolph’s a North Pole bigshot, rides around on Santa’s sleigh
      Wearin’ a green fedora, smokin’ Chesterfields all the way!”

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • batgirl Dec 26,2009 9:37 am || Up

        Hee! That’s why I like the Sinatra one “That little cat Jesus never flipped his lid!…I dig thee lord Jesus…”

    • mk Dec 26,2009 9:54 am || Up

      Awesome photo.

    • JediLeroy Dec 26,2009 3:24 pm || Up

      My list, off the top of my head:

      All the songs from John Rutter’s Carols From Clare
      Christmas Waltz: Frank Sinatra
      Carpenters: The Christmas Song
      Chipmunk Christmas Song
      Christmas Eve by Tatsuro Yamashita
      Ave Maria: Franz Schubert
      Anything NOT on the Mannheim Steamroller Christmas album

      az di bobe volt gehat beytsim volt zi geven mayn zeyde
      • monkeyball Dec 26,2009 3:35 pm || Up

        Christ, what a Steamroller

        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come

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