The Lounge where it’s all gonna work out fine. ← FREE KRAUT!

The Lounge where it’s all gonna work out fine. 233

Sometimes you lounge, sometimes you don’t, sometimes it rains.

233 thoughts on “The Lounge where it’s all gonna work out fine.

  1. Bed Sep 12,2014 6:11 pm

    For me it was rain…but that rain allows me to be here lounging.

    But seriously, folks...
  2. Bed Sep 12,2014 6:11 pm

    I don’t know about you but I get all my NFL news from the police blotter now…it just saves time.

    But seriously, folks...
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Sep 13,2014 6:35 pm || Up

      I read somewhere last week that the NFL team with the most arrests in the last three years is the Niners.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  3. Bed Sep 12,2014 6:13 pm

    Stay tuned for my two hour power point presentation about ancient Mesopotamia.

    But seriously, folks...
    • Kay Temple Kirk Sep 12,2014 6:25 pm || Up

      Meh. I’ll settle for the Cliff Notes,

      or the B52’s album.

      \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
      • Bed Sep 12,2014 6:28 pm || Up

        Your loss…my section on how they created the concept of zero won several Emmy Awards.

        But seriously, folks...
        • Kay Temple Kirk Sep 12,2014 6:34 pm || Up

          Yeah, that part is kinda badass.

          Give me one hour, a time machine, a Commodore 64, Michael Faraday, Albert Einstein, and Brahmagupta, and we’ll solve the remaining mysteries of the universe with time to spare. Actually they’ll do most of the work; I’ll run the Commodore 64.

          \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
          • Bed Sep 12,2014 6:37 pm || Up

            I offer up my services as ship’s cook. I’ll bring Eggos and Legos.

            But seriously, folks...
        • colin Sep 13,2014 12:14 pm || Up

          Well deserved, but I thought all the hardcore sex would have scared off the Emmy voters.

    • Future Ed Sep 12,2014 10:11 pm || Up

      well?

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
      • Bed Sep 12,2014 10:12 pm || Up

        Dim the lights and I’ll turn on the overhead projector.

        But seriously, folks...
        • Future Ed Sep 12,2014 10:31 pm || Up

          you know you don’t use those anymore, right?

          I have $5. No I don\'t.
          • Bed Sep 12,2014 10:32 pm || Up

            What? But I got my major in overhead projector repairs.

            But seriously, folks...
            • Future Ed Sep 12,2014 10:42 pm || Up

              In my trial this week, I have been taking over the prosecutor’s overhead which projects onto a tv.

              its neat

              I have $5. No I don\'t.
              • Bed Sep 12,2014 10:44 pm || Up

                As I’ve said before I’d love to watch one of your trials. It’s a fascinating process.

                But seriously, folks...
                • Future Ed Sep 12,2014 10:47 pm || Up

                  its not really that exciting

                  I have $5. No I don\'t.
                • Kay Temple Kirk Sep 14,2014 9:22 am || Up

                  We could always drum up a jury nullification movement to protest the prison industrial complex.

                  That oughta make things interesting…

                  \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
  4. Bed Sep 12,2014 6:17 pm

    Tastes better…Eggos or Legos?

    But seriously, folks...
    • Future Ed Sep 12,2014 10:12 pm || Up

      which would you rather step on?

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
  5. Bed Sep 12,2014 6:20 pm

    First four posts and three of them have ellipses…not sure what I was thinking with the third post?

    But seriously, folks...
    • Kay Temple Kirk Sep 12,2014 6:25 pm || Up

      Channeling me… most likely.

      \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
  6. Bed Sep 12,2014 6:21 pm

    For those keeping score at home…it’s official, Bud Selig says this lounge is groove approved.

    But seriously, folks...
    • Kay Temple Kirk Sep 12,2014 6:24 pm || Up

      Bud Selig couldn’t find a groove with a record needle.

      \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
      • Bed Sep 12,2014 6:34 pm || Up

        pfft…I guess you didn’t see Bud on Dance Fever back in 1979.

        But seriously, folks...
        • Kay Temple Kirk Sep 12,2014 6:36 pm || Up

          Back in those days, I only watched commercials.

          \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
          • Bed Sep 12,2014 6:38 pm || Up

            Back in those days my favorite show was The Dukes Of Hazzard…still is.

            But seriously, folks...
            • Kay Temple Kirk Sep 12,2014 6:41 pm || Up

              Wonder Woman and Mork and Mindy came on at 4 and 5 on Channel 40, and they were the two main influences of my young childhood.

              I still to this day love tan pantyhose, bondage, feminism, and frenetic comedy, and I’m not completely debased of the idea that I’m actually an alien, either.

              \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
              • Bed Sep 12,2014 6:44 pm || Up

                Seeing Linda Carter in that outfit invoked certain new feelings in young Brian.

                But seriously, folks...
                • Future Ed Sep 12,2014 10:17 pm || Up

                  I have $5. No I don\'t.
                • Kay Temple Kirk Sep 14,2014 9:22 am || Up

                  Me too. I wanted to BE her.

                  \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
  7. Bed Sep 12,2014 6:23 pm

    I guess I’m weird…I prefer my revenge be served warm.

    But seriously, folks...
    • ptbnl Sep 14,2014 5:19 pm || Up

      Go tepid or go home.

      If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
  8. Bed Sep 12,2014 6:39 pm

    Speaking of Eggos…I bought a new sports jacket today.

    But seriously, folks...
    • Bed Sep 12,2014 6:45 pm || Up

      I know what you’re thinking…yes, it’s a navy blue sports coat so you can relax now.

      But seriously, folks...
  9. Bed Sep 12,2014 6:46 pm

    If science truly wants to help this world they’d figure out a way to make a Burrito/Cheeseburger combo.

    But seriously, folks...
  10. Bed Sep 12,2014 6:47 pm

    If I ever decide to take my own life I think I’ll just order one of those new pizzas that have cheese and bacon stuffed into the crust.

    But seriously, folks...
  11. Bed Sep 12,2014 6:54 pm

    In Soviet Russia Grandmas run over Reindeers.

    But seriously, folks...
  12. Bed Sep 12,2014 7:00 pm

    Just to catch up…

    Yes, not really, only in June, not since 1987, you’re missing the point, Cleveland Steamer, No…but I play one on TV, 6 months tops, jumping jacks, Kate Upton, 3.69 era, that’s above my pay grade, and Bob Dole.

    But seriously, folks...
  13. Bed Sep 12,2014 7:01 pm

    If this lounge was a tree…what kind of tree would it be?

    But seriously, folks...
    • Future Ed Sep 12,2014 10:23 pm || Up

      I don’t know, but can I be Buchemi?

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
  14. Bed Sep 12,2014 7:05 pm

    I think the Free Kraut Podcasts were better when they did them in Klingon.

    But seriously, folks...
  15. Bed Sep 12,2014 7:08 pm

    You damn kids with your laser disc copies of Terms of Endearment.

    But seriously, folks...
  16. Bed Sep 12,2014 7:08 pm

    Print Sandwich…just because.

    But seriously, folks...
  17. Bed Sep 12,2014 7:09 pm

    Free Kraut Lounges: Where Learning Never Happens.

    But seriously, folks...
  18. Bed Sep 12,2014 7:11 pm

    Denial ain’t just a river in Nebraska.

    But seriously, folks...
  19. Bed Sep 12,2014 7:12 pm

    So did Oz quit Free Kraut…or join the CIA…or become a monk…or become a CIA agent posing as a monk?

    But seriously, folks...
    • Kay Temple Kirk Sep 12,2014 7:30 pm || Up

      Three of the above

      \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
      • Bed Sep 12,2014 7:34 pm || Up

        Well, wherever AgentMonk OO-Oz is…I’m sure danger and satifaction follow.

        But seriously, folks...
  20. Bed Sep 12,2014 7:27 pm

    I just found out a former GF married a 70 year old. She’s 38. I knew she had daddy issues and I guess this proves it. I might send a Viagra care package as a gift.

    But seriously, folks...
    • Bed Sep 12,2014 8:45 pm || Up

      On their wedding night he was so excited he stayed up until 7pm.

      But seriously, folks...
      • Bed Sep 12,2014 8:47 pm || Up

        They put on a great wedding ceremony at those assisted living facilities.

        But seriously, folks...
        • Bed Sep 12,2014 8:48 pm || Up

          The bride wore white while the groom wore Depends Formal.

          But seriously, folks...
          • Bed Sep 12,2014 8:49 pm || Up

            They’ll be honeymooning at the early bird special at Denny’s.

            But seriously, folks...
            • Bed Sep 12,2014 8:49 pm || Up

              The groom was heard to say that he hadn’t been this excited since voting for Truman.

              But seriously, folks...
              • Bed Sep 12,2014 8:51 pm || Up

                In lieu of wedding gifts the bride asks for good burial spot locations.

                But seriously, folks...
                • Soaker Sep 12,2014 8:51 pm || Up

                  I’m thinking the guy has $$$ and has had about five heart attacks.

                  What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
                • Bed Sep 12,2014 8:54 pm || Up

                  Nope…he’s not loaded. In fact I’m pretty sure she has more money. She just loves the smell of Ben-Gay in the morning.

                  But seriously, folks...
    • Future Ed Sep 12,2014 10:26 pm || Up

      I have no problem with age differences beyond, he is totally too old to talk about the A team

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
  21. Bed Sep 12,2014 7:38 pm

    I guess The Wire reboot is going to be about the wacky adventures of an electrician in urban Baltimore.

    But seriously, folks...
    • AV Sep 12,2014 7:50 pm || Up

      i seriously think simon’s next project oughta be oakland.

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • Bed Sep 12,2014 7:52 pm || Up

        I think his next project should be a Will Ferrell comedy.

        But seriously, folks...
        • AV Sep 12,2014 7:56 pm || Up

          yeah, but… in oakland, right?

          *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
          • Bed Sep 12,2014 7:58 pm || Up

            Well, of course.

            Will Ferrell is Billy Beane in Moneyball II: Just when you thought it was safe to back into the Coliseum bathroom.

            But seriously, folks...
            • AV Sep 12,2014 8:02 pm || Up

              oh. i thought it’d be called “sogard,” just one word, all lower case.

              *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
              • Bed Sep 12,2014 8:04 pm || Up

                Oh…artsy.

                But seriously, folks...
                • AV Sep 12,2014 8:10 pm || Up

                  totally.

                  *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  22. Bed Sep 12,2014 8:24 pm

    If you want to impress on a first date may I suggest Taco Bell’s new dollar menu.

    But seriously, folks...
  23. Bed Sep 12,2014 8:25 pm

    Greatest sequel of all time…I mean besides The Princes Diaries 2.

    But seriously, folks...
  24. Jennifer Sep 12,2014 8:39 pm

    I want waffles now. Or maybe not.

    • Bed Sep 12,2014 8:41 pm || Up

      Can I interest you in some Eggos?

      But seriously, folks...
      • Bed Sep 12,2014 10:03 pm || Up

        Apparently not…I guess you Missouri folks are too fancy for Eggos.

        But seriously, folks...
  25. Bed Sep 12,2014 8:43 pm

    Bed: He drives women into the arms of Korean War Vets.

    But seriously, folks...
    • Future Ed Sep 12,2014 10:29 pm || Up

      Someone needs to drive, I doubt he still has a license.

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
      • Bed Sep 12,2014 10:31 pm || Up

        Well, the cataracts and the arthritis make it hard for him to steer.

        But seriously, folks...
  26. Bed Sep 12,2014 8:58 pm

    Usually I drive my former girlfriends into lesbianism not senior citizens.

    But seriously, folks...
  27. Bed Sep 12,2014 10:00 pm

    (Checks) Okay, I’m out of marrying a geezer jokes…for now.

    But seriously, folks...
  28. Bed Sep 12,2014 10:01 pm

    I think Nick Punto killed the lounge.

    But seriously, folks...
  29. Bed Sep 12,2014 10:02 pm

    To get this lounge going I either need to start talking about Star Trek or take off my pants.

    But seriously, folks...
  30. Bed Sep 12,2014 10:06 pm

    I think it was Jonathan Swift who wrote…”Lollipop, lollipop, oh lolli-lollipop, lollipop, lollipop, oh lolli-lollipop, lollipop.”

    But seriously, folks...
  31. Bed Sep 12,2014 10:09 pm

    The Power of Christ compels you…to try Hardees new Six Dollar Thick Burger.

    But seriously, folks...
    • 5Aces Sep 12,2014 10:19 pm || Up

      To hell with you and your Hardees. Carl doesn’t like that name, his son dont like it, so I dont like it.

      Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
      • Bed Sep 12,2014 10:21 pm || Up

        Heathen.

        But seriously, folks...
      • Future Ed Sep 12,2014 10:34 pm || Up

        I met andy worhol at a really chic party

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
        • Bed Sep 12,2014 10:36 pm || Up

          Did he paint you?

          But seriously, folks...
          • 5Aces Sep 12,2014 10:39 pm || Up

            Like one of those French girls?

            Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
        • 5Aces Sep 12,2014 10:39 pm || Up

          Did Nile Rodgers host it?

          Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
        • Future Ed Sep 12,2014 10:43 pm || Up

          BLOW IT OUT YOUR HAIRDO CUZ YOU WORK AT HARDEE’S

          I have $5. No I don\'t.
  32. Bed Sep 12,2014 10:13 pm

    Would you rather go on a date with Courtney Love or join ISIS?

    But seriously, folks...
    • AV Sep 12,2014 10:29 pm || Up

      i. will not. sleep tonight.

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  33. Bed Sep 12,2014 10:13 pm

    Who wins in a fight?

    The Six Million Dollar Man or The Bionic Man.

    But seriously, folks...
    • 5Aces Sep 12,2014 10:20 pm || Up

      6 million dollars doesnt get you that much bionics anymore.

      Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
      • Bed Sep 12,2014 10:28 pm || Up

        Damn inflation.

        But seriously, folks...
      • Future Ed Sep 12,2014 10:36 pm || Up

        neither does 10

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
        • 5Aces Sep 13,2014 2:02 pm || Up

          I think he is on the backpack and I have considered if he needs to be removed somehow.

          Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
          • Jennifer Sep 13,2014 2:45 pm || Up

            Put a sticker on it.

          • Englishmajor Sep 13,2014 5:04 pm || Up

            He is on the backpack, positioned so the unicorn is looking rather dubiously at him.

  34. MikeV Sep 12,2014 10:16 pm

    Wanted: Two (hopefully, but one will do) Verizon edition LG G2 phones.

    They’re running at about $200 on swappa.com but well I don’t have that kind of cash for a phone right now.

    And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

    Thanks, and go As.

    • Bed Sep 12,2014 10:17 pm || Up

      So, you want to do two phones at one time then?

      But seriously, folks...
      • MikeV Sep 12,2014 10:18 pm || Up

        Well I have 2 lines to activate, so yes

        And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

        Thanks, and go As.

      • Future Ed Sep 12,2014 10:38 pm || Up

        he has two ears, two hands, so yeah

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
  35. Bed Sep 12,2014 10:21 pm

    Which tastes better…Eggos or The Six Million Dollar Man?

    But seriously, folks...
    • 5Aces Sep 12,2014 10:24 pm || Up

      Can you find Farrah to ask her? Or Heather Thomas?

      Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
      • Bed Sep 12,2014 10:26 pm || Up

        Heather Thomas…She got Bed through the 80’s.

        But seriously, folks...
        • Bed Sep 12,2014 10:30 pm || Up

          Abe Vigoda…He got my ex GF through the 80’s.

          But seriously, folks...
          • Bed Sep 12,2014 10:33 pm || Up

            I lied…I got about 6 more months worth of jokes left to go on this subject. Don’t worry 99% of them will be told elsewhere.

            But seriously, folks...
      • Future Ed Sep 12,2014 10:40 pm || Up

        Back when mass emails were a thing, I made a giant email list and made fun of a particular friend everyday to the list of about 50. Not everyone knew him.

        One of the emails simply said “[friend] has Farrah hair.”

        more than one person on my list didn’t know what I was talking about.

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
  36. Bed Sep 12,2014 10:25 pm

    My advice during these trying times is to run a nice, hot bath. Turn on some Kenny Rogers. Get in with someone friendly. Have that person drown you so all the pain goes away.

    But seriously, folks...
    • Bed Sep 12,2014 10:34 pm || Up

      Of course to be fair that’s my standard advice for almost any situation.

      But seriously, folks...
    • AV Sep 12,2014 10:59 pm || Up

      sounds like a peter greenandgoldaway movie.

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  37. Bed Sep 12,2014 10:29 pm

    Signs I’m getting older. I fell asleep during the 4th quarter of last week’s Raiders game. Grandpa Bed needs his nap time.

    But seriously, folks...
    • 5Aces Sep 12,2014 10:38 pm || Up

      What were your thoughts on the game? I did not end up seeing much of it, but while it was bad, I was happy it didnt seem mistake filled.

      Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
      • Bed Sep 12,2014 10:43 pm || Up

        The score was misleading. The Raiders were totally outplayed in every way. They need to let Carr go down the field and be more patient with the running game. They looked flat which is a bad sign on opening day.

        But seriously, folks...
        • Bed Sep 12,2014 10:48 pm || Up

          If we don’t beat the Texans on Sunday the season could real ugly real fast.

          But seriously, folks...
          • Glorious Mundy Sep 13,2014 10:05 am || Up

            I was thinking of you when watching Dennis Allen’s awkward sideline cliche-fest at halftime. When he turned around to head into the tunnel he had a red sharpie tucked into the back of his visor. Cracked me up for some reason.

            • Bed Sep 13,2014 10:17 pm || Up

              I usually get a chuckle every time I see DA talk. He never disappoints to throw some cliches out there. It’s been one of our better running FK jokes.

              But seriously, folks...
    • Jennifer Sep 13,2014 5:18 am || Up

      Too bad you’re already taken. You sound about the right age for your ex.

      • Bed Sep 13,2014 10:18 pm || Up

        Nah, most of my parts still work. Maybe after a couple of strokes I’ll be more her speed.

        But seriously, folks...
        • Jennifer Sep 13,2014 11:10 pm || Up

          Teehee. Strokes.

          • Bed Sep 13,2014 11:12 pm || Up

            Hmm…using the word “strokes” after a sentence that includes “my parts” was in hindsight an awesome decision.

            But seriously, folks...
  38. Bed Sep 12,2014 10:47 pm

    I imagine A’s fans who are sadomasochists are enjoying the recent stretch of baseball so at least there’s that.

    But seriously, folks...
  39. Bed Sep 12,2014 10:49 pm

    Well, the game wasn’t too exciting but it’s always fun being silly with you fine folks. Sleep well and enjoy your date with Courtney Love.

    But seriously, folks...
  40. vignette17 Sep 12,2014 11:49 pm

    So ultimate test of my 5-0 record at games this year. I’m gonna be at the Felix start tomorrow. Thankfully, the A’s are at least playing well, right? I haven’t repressed memories or anything?

    • vignette17 Sep 13,2014 11:06 pm || Up

      Safeco and the area surrounding it were quite fun. On par with Phone Booth. The food was quite good inside on par with Camden as my favorite food at a ballpark. They did run out of garlic fries and diet soda by the end of the 5th though.

      The fans were good with people chanting for K’s every time with 2 strikes. But there were quite a few empty seats after the 9th. And they also had people attempting the wave during key moments including the Rodney breakdown (not that we can throw stones on that front). The loudest they got all game though was when Russell Wilson came on the Jumbotron and told them to make noise.

      Overall, very good experience. Probably would rank it similar to Camden and Phone Booth, behind Fenway on a favorites list.

      • Bed Sep 13,2014 11:08 pm || Up

        Sounds like a fun night at the ballpark.

        But seriously, folks...
      • Future Ed Sep 14,2014 8:16 am || Up

        I am not a fan of that field. Partly because I was there when it was built. It was a huge swindle. As was the stadium next door.

        as far as the interior, its pretty generic to me. I liked the bullpen access, But I think that has been altered. To me it is a concrete bowl of another color.

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
        • Englishmajor Sep 14,2014 12:35 pm || Up

          I haven’t been to Safeco yet, but I did visit the Kingdome once and thought it was a shithole — and that was when I was an habitué of the Metrodome.

          • Future Ed Sep 14,2014 1:22 pm || Up

            Kingdome was a shit hole.

            could not see the ball.

            I have $5. No I don\'t.
      • danmerqury Sep 14,2014 8:36 pm || Up

        Oh, huge rec to Camden with the food. Seems like every other stand had crab dip waffle fries and softshell crab sandwiches. Plus the pit beef barbecue place on Eutaw.

  41. sslinger Sep 13,2014 12:12 am

    Instead of watching the game tonight we went to see Calvary. Not sure which would be a more uplifting experience.

    But in one of the other theaters Jerry Harrison was introducing Down By the River. Didn’t see him either, so there’s that.

  42. Bed Sep 13,2014 10:15 pm

    Food for thought…Fritos while reading Voltaire.

    But seriously, folks...
  43. Bed Sep 13,2014 10:20 pm

    Note to self…Bring back parachute pants.

    But seriously, folks...
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Sep 13,2014 10:42 pm || Up

      Hammer time!

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  44. Bed Sep 13,2014 10:22 pm

    My betting lock of the week…That one team will beat that other team.

    But seriously, folks...
  45. Bed Sep 13,2014 10:23 pm

    Note to self…Bring back Davy Crockett raccoon hats.

    But seriously, folks...
  46. Bed Sep 13,2014 10:24 pm

    A question that can’t be answered. Why do people eat pudding when they know ice cream exists?

    But seriously, folks...
  47. Bed Sep 13,2014 10:25 pm

    Note to self…Bring back 80’s hair metal.

    But seriously, folks...
  48. Bed Sep 13,2014 10:27 pm

    Chicks still dig back hair…right?

    But seriously, folks...
  49. Bed Sep 13,2014 10:30 pm

    Note to self…Bring back calculator watches.

    But seriously, folks...
  50. Bed Sep 13,2014 10:31 pm

    I can’t be the only one who wants to see Chevy Chase run for President in 2016.

    But seriously, folks...
  51. Bed Sep 13,2014 10:33 pm

    Note to self…Find Bull from Night Court. See if he’s still dead sexy.

    But seriously, folks...
  52. Bed Sep 13,2014 10:34 pm

    Food for thought…Nachos while doing Calculus.

    But seriously, folks...
  53. Bed Sep 13,2014 10:35 pm

    Note to self…Google neck tattoo designs.

    But seriously, folks...
  54. Bed Sep 13,2014 10:37 pm

    I’m starting to think my life long dream of doing blow with Mean Gene Okerlund is never going to happen.

    But seriously, folks...
  55. Bed Sep 13,2014 10:37 pm

    Note to self…Google Miley Cyrus mudflap designs.

    But seriously, folks...
  56. Bed Sep 13,2014 10:40 pm

    It’s not widely known but Thomas Jefferson was one of the original Ghostbusters.

    But seriously, folks...
  57. Bed Sep 13,2014 10:40 pm

    Note to self…Google Miley Cyrus neck tattoos.

    But seriously, folks...
  58. Bed Sep 13,2014 10:41 pm

    Don’t tell anybody this but Bill Clinton has been known to fool around.

    But seriously, folks...
  59. Bed Sep 13,2014 10:42 pm

    Note to self…Google when to end a joke before you run it into the ground.

    But seriously, folks...
  60. Bed Sep 13,2014 10:45 pm

    Oh…so that’s what condoms are for.

    But seriously, folks...
  61. Bed Sep 13,2014 10:48 pm

    I erased the last three posts I had ready. You’re welcome, America.

    But seriously, folks...
    • Bed Sep 13,2014 10:58 pm || Up

      Well, I did post one of them. I’m sorry, America.

      But seriously, folks...
  62. Bed Sep 13,2014 10:49 pm

    A little piece of me died when they cancelled The Gong Show.

    But seriously, folks...
  63. Bed Sep 13,2014 10:50 pm

    I only listen to the voices in my head when they say something helpful…or when they tell me to blow the mortgage payment on hookers.

    But seriously, folks...
  64. FreeSeatUpgrade Sep 13,2014 10:51 pm

    I am most often wrong when I think I see positive signs in the Raiders. Nevertheless, I am expecting a win tomorrow. The O-line will be strong and we’ll see some sustained drives and (gasp) points.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • Bed Sep 13,2014 10:55 pm || Up

      I think they’ll struggle to score but it’s certainly, on paper, one of their more winnable games.

      But seriously, folks...
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Sep 14,2014 6:09 pm || Up

      OK, the Raiders are really bad. Really, really bad. I won’t embarrass myself with any more optimism on their behalf.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • Bed Sep 14,2014 6:11 pm || Up

        FSU comes over to Bed’s side of the fence. It was a tough watch. I can’t imagine it was a fun day at the Coliseum…I hope you ate well.

        But seriously, folks...
  65. Bed Sep 13,2014 10:54 pm

    When someone says “it’s not you it’s them” what they’re really saying is we have to take it one game at a time, and play it where it lays, and give it a 110%.

    But seriously, folks...
  66. Bed Sep 13,2014 10:56 pm

    My therapist thinks we should see other people.

    But seriously, folks...
  67. Bed Sep 13,2014 10:57 pm

    My proctologist thinks we should fist other people.

    But seriously, folks...
    • Bed Sep 13,2014 10:57 pm || Up

      Okay, I regretted this one while I was posting it.

      But seriously, folks...
      • FreeSeatUpgrade Sep 13,2014 10:59 pm || Up

        If there’s anything you can’t take back, it’s that.

        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
        • Bed Sep 13,2014 11:02 pm || Up

          It’s with me for all of eternity now.

          But seriously, folks...
          • Jennifer Sep 13,2014 11:11 pm || Up

            I’m not a proctologist, but I know an asshole when I see one.

            • Bed Sep 13,2014 11:13 pm || Up

              I only see one when I’m around mirrors…or Dick Cheney.

              But seriously, folks...
  68. Bed Sep 13,2014 11:00 pm

    On your date with Courtney Love…remember to get a tetanus shot before you go and never look her straight in the eye. She attacks when you do that.

    But seriously, folks...
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Sep 13,2014 11:04 pm || Up

      Yeah, but you know what they say about the crazy ones. Rawr!

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • Bed Sep 13,2014 11:06 pm || Up

        That’s a road I dare not travel down, FSU.

        But seriously, folks...
  69. Bed Sep 13,2014 11:03 pm

    Hey, I actually worked in some references from this century tonight.

    But seriously, folks...
  70. Bed Sep 13,2014 11:05 pm

    My initial thought when I saw naked pictures of Kate Upton was that it was all downhill from here.

    But seriously, folks...
  71. Bed Sep 13,2014 11:07 pm

    My accountant thinks we should…uh….er…I can’t think of anything funny involving accountants.

    But seriously, folks...
  72. Bed Sep 13,2014 11:09 pm

    My TV pitch…Ice Road Truckers but in Florida.

    But seriously, folks...
  73. Bed Sep 13,2014 11:10 pm

    I’ve seen five of my taglines tonight. My narcissism is somewhat satisfied.

    But seriously, folks...
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Sep 13,2014 11:12 pm || Up

      We only restore them in the rotation when you show back up.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • Bed Sep 13,2014 11:14 pm || Up

        Wait…this site goes on when I’m not here?

        But seriously, folks...
        • FreeSeatUpgrade Sep 13,2014 11:17 pm || Up

          Mostly we share our favorite Norman Vincent Peale stories and trade recipes.

          "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
          • Bed Sep 13,2014 11:19 pm || Up

            So basically what all the other A’s baseball related blogs do then.

            But seriously, folks...
  74. Jennifer Sep 13,2014 11:12 pm

    I just had the strangest dream.

  75. Bed Sep 13,2014 11:21 pm

    I only dream in black in white…except when I dream in color which is all the time.

    But seriously, folks...
  76. Bed Sep 13,2014 11:23 pm

    My TV pitch…The Golden Girls but set in a place where they drive trucks over ice roads.

    But seriously, folks...
  77. Bed Sep 13,2014 11:24 pm

    Every time I see Blade Runner I hope this is the time I’ll understand what the fuck is going on.

    But seriously, folks...
    • East Bay Evans Sep 14,2014 9:29 am || Up

      In the year 2019, ex-detective Rick Deckard is called out of retirement to track down and eliminate a team of humanoid androids that have escaped from an outer space mining colony and have taken refuge here on Earth. During his search for the fugitives, he discovers some disturbing secrets about the future plans of the androids’ manufacturer, the Tyrell Corporation.

      Just 5 more years and it’ll make sense, Bed.

      • Bed Sep 14,2014 6:15 pm || Up

        I look forward to finally figuring this thing out.

        But seriously, folks...
        • FreeSeatUpgrade Sep 14,2014 6:19 pm || Up

          Killing replicants is a real Dick move.

          "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
          • colin Sep 15,2014 8:53 am || Up

            He had to do something — they were driving Roy batty.

            (groan)

  78. Bed Sep 13,2014 11:25 pm

    Food for thought…Gummi Bears while doing a Vulcan Mind Meld.

    But seriously, folks...
  79. Bed Sep 13,2014 11:30 pm

    Courage.

    But seriously, folks...
  80. Englishmajor Sep 14,2014 12:42 pm

    It’s possible that this Vikings fan was attempting some thought-provoking performance art rather than just being an asshole — I think it would have been nice for the reporter who took her picture to ask her for a comment before making her go viral — but jeez, Louise.

  81. Bed Sep 14,2014 6:08 pm

    Dennis Allen will soon be a former football coach who used to coach football players playing the game of football in the National Football League.

    But seriously, folks...
  82. Bed Sep 14,2014 6:13 pm

    Raiders vs Patriots next week should be a lot of fun. Then we go to England lose to the Dolphins and DA gets fired at 0-4 going into the bye. Tony Sparano takes over for the remainder of the season and then we start the whole thing over again. Same as it ever was…same as it ever was.

    But seriously, folks...
    • 5Aces Sep 14,2014 7:01 pm || Up

      Does he get left in England?

      Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
      • FreeSeatUpgrade Sep 14,2014 7:17 pm || Up

        He won’t be flying coach, that’s for sure.

        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • Bed Sep 14,2014 7:41 pm || Up

        I’d make him pay for his airfare home.

        But seriously, folks...
  83. Glorious Mundy Sep 14,2014 7:23 pm

    The Golden Gate Bridge isn’t where this SNF studio backdrop thinks it is.

  84. Bed Sep 14,2014 7:43 pm

    The sad part is I’m not even mad about the Raiders anymore. I’m just bored. I had a couple of friends over and by the middle of the second quarter we started talking about Johnson and how he handled Vietnam. That conversation was more interesting than any recent Raider game.

    But seriously, folks...
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Sep 14,2014 7:45 pm || Up

      So you had a fun-filled day of sucking quagmires.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • danmerqury Sep 14,2014 8:39 pm || Up

      Ugh. Yeah, I don’t know how many more quarters of Raider football I can watch this year. The defense is hilarious.

      • doctorK Sep 14,2014 8:44 pm || Up

        About as hilarious as the stock footage of the GG bridge and aerial shots of SF during this football game being played 40 miles to the south.

      • Bed Sep 14,2014 10:11 pm || Up

        Our next pass rush will be our first. They don’t generate any pressure with the defensive line at all. The linebackers don’t make plays and their blitzes are ineffectual…oh and they can’t stop the run to save their lives. Fun stuff.

        But seriously, folks...
  85. Bed Sep 14,2014 10:12 pm

    Tough night for the Niners. To be up 17-0 at home should be a win.

    But seriously, folks...
    • MikeV Sep 14,2014 11:30 pm || Up

      O-line: awful
      Playcalling: awful
      4 turnovers: awful
      clock management: awful

      playcalling and clock management can be directly attributed to Greg Roman. He is just a bad OC and shouldn’t be calling plays. Calls shitty run plays when he should call a pass and vice versa.

      In theory all of it is fixable. 2 of the picks were great plays by Varrett. The O-Line should get stronger when Martin isn’t forced to play, Boone is back into the swing of things, and Marcus Martin is healed up.

      Roman needs to go, too.

      And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

      Thanks, and go As.

      • nevermoor Sep 15,2014 10:07 am || Up

        I’m revising us down to a 9-10 win projection and a wild card slot.

        Several of those picks were great plays rather than bad reads, so I’m less pissed about them than I otherwise would be. Our defense is just not good though. And the fucking penalties are killing me. We play like the bad old Raiders out there, and it just doesn’t stop.

        "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
        • Glorious Mundy Sep 15,2014 10:14 am || Up

          So do we know what the “inappropriate language” penalty was for? That infraction could not be named more schoolmarmishly.

          • nevermoor Sep 15,2014 10:20 am || Up

            they said there is no list of prohibited words.

            "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
          • Englishmajor Sep 15,2014 11:37 am || Up

            Improper use of the subjunctive.

            • Glorious Mundy Sep 15,2014 12:07 pm || Up

              I thought maybe he called the signals in French.

          • MikeV Sep 15,2014 1:40 pm || Up

            Kaepernick said he didn’t say anything.

            Bears players said he didn’t say anything.

            Who knows.

            And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

            Thanks, and go As.

            • nevermoor Sep 15,2014 1:48 pm || Up

              They were some crazily flag-happy officials.

              Lots of ticky-tack calls, that being a headline (esp. if the Bears aren’t talking about it)

              "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
              • MikeV Sep 15,2014 1:53 pm || Up

                The holding call on Boldin that got Gore’s TD called back was one of the worst calls I can remember seeing.

                Really annoyed at how little is talked about the horrific officiating.

                And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

                Thanks, and go As.

                • Dial C for Concupiscence Sep 15,2014 4:10 pm || Up

                  The announcers were certainly talking about it during the game, but yeah, it seems like the officials really went overboard on the calls

        • Dial C for Concupiscence Sep 15,2014 10:59 am || Up

          The penalties were the worst part of the watching experience. And that was just a terrible second half. Everything got so undisciplined and sloppy

          • nevermoor Sep 15,2014 12:04 pm || Up

            That and we got torched through the air a week after getting torched on the ground by Dallas.

            Our defense is not good, our discipline is not good, and solid teams have a real chance to beat us.

            "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  86. Bed Sep 14,2014 10:18 pm

    So, the Buffalo Bills are 2-0…the end is nigh.

    But seriously, folks...
    • andeux Sep 15,2014 9:27 am || Up

      One man’s apocalypse is another man’s rapture.

      TINSTAAFK
      • Glorious Mundy Sep 15,2014 4:03 pm || Up

        Those all white uniforms+helmets are hot.

  87. Bed Sep 14,2014 10:19 pm

    I guess we’re looking at a Buffalo Bills vs Arizona Cardinals Super Bowl.

    But seriously, folks...
  88. Bed Sep 14,2014 10:22 pm

    It won’t happen because this is football and trades are rarely made in football but if I’m McKenzie I put everybody not named Carr and Mack on the trading block. The Raiders need building blocks not the collection of veterans they currently have.

    But seriously, folks...
  89. Bed Sep 14,2014 10:23 pm

    Okay, enough Raiders…back to talking about man’s struggle against his true nature.

    But seriously, folks...
  90. Jennifer Sep 15,2014 9:29 pm

    I struggled to stay awake all day. Now I can’t sleep.

    • Bed Sep 16,2014 4:11 pm || Up

      The lounge is a good place to catch a nap. It’s nice and quiet.

      But seriously, folks...

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