Game 137: My God!!! What Have I?!? Dunn. ← FREE KRAUT!

Game 137: My God!!! What Have I?!? Dunn. 250

SURPRISINGLY SANGUINE SEAFARING SEATTLES
CF Austin Jackson (R)
LF Dustin Ackley (L)
2B Robinson Cano (L)
DH Kendrys Morales (S)
3B Kyle Seager (L)
1B Justin Smoak (S)
RF Endy Chavez (L)
C Mike Zunino (R)
SS Brad Miller (L)
Chris Young (RHP)

BLOODIED BUT UNBOWED SCRAPHEAP SAVIORS

CF Sam Fuld (L)
RF Josh Reddick (L)
3B Josh Donaldson (R)
DH Adam Dunn (L)
LF Brandon Moss (L)
SS Jed Lowrie (S)
1B Stephen Vogt (L)
C Geovany Soto (R)
2B Eric Sogard (L)
Jason Hammel (RHP)

Make this month count, or face a winter of our GM and franchise getting humiliated in sports media like none before ever has in the history of Earth.

Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.

250 thoughts on “Game 137: My God!!! What Have I?!? Dunn.

  1. nowBodhi Sep 1,2014 12:44 pm


    you may ask yourself
    Well, how did I get here?

    Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
    • Glorious Mundy Sep 1,2014 12:48 pm || Up

      “There is water at the bottom of the dugout.”
      “Uh, that’s not water.”

  2. Glorious Mundy Sep 1,2014 12:46 pm

    They’re really riding the Kendrys Morales train, eh?

  3. bear88 Sep 1,2014 12:57 pm

    Slusser has all kinds of tidbits. Crisp took batting practice (right-handed only) today. Jaso is supposedly going to do so in the next day or two (we’ll see how that pans out). Lowrie’s finger still isn’t fine. Doolittle is throwing socks, and Melvin isn’t ruling out activivating him when he’s eligible to return.

    It all still sounds desperate. But Hammel is starting, so I guess it’s not that desperate.

    • Glorious Mundy Sep 1,2014 1:00 pm || Up

      Lowrie’s just going to have to suck it up.

  4. nowBodhi Sep 1,2014 1:10 pm

    and that’s the way our ballgame begins

    Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
  5. Glorious Mundy Sep 1,2014 1:11 pm

    Nice catch! Did he stay inbounds?

  6. bear88 Sep 1,2014 1:11 pm

    Nice catch!

  7. 5Aces Sep 1,2014 1:11 pm

    Is it bad that I was relieved to see CB Bucknor? At least he is terrible for everyone.

    Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
    • dmoas Sep 1,2014 1:13 pm || Up

      Nice to have an ump who doesn’t have it in for us, but instead just has it in for the game of baseball as a whole.

      • Kay Temple Kirk Sep 1,2014 1:14 pm || Up

        Tagline!

        \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
  8. nowBodhi Sep 1,2014 1:12 pm

    that was The Fuld Monty

    Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
  9. nowBodhi Sep 1,2014 1:13 pm

    wow, actual Major League caliber defensive play! Twice! In one inning even!

    Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
  10. dmoas Sep 1,2014 1:14 pm

    Please be a sign of things to come. Please be a sign of things to come. Please be a sign of things to come. Please be a sign of things to come. Please be a sign of things to come. Please be a sign of things to come. Please be a sign of things to come. Please be a sign of things to come. Please be a sign of things to come. Please be a sign of things to come. Please be a sign of things to come. Please be a sign of things to come.

    • nowBodhi Sep 1,2014 1:19 pm || Up


      wrong drink to order
      suspicion grows
      strong situation
      and no one knows where you’ve gone to in the Pagan night

      Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
  11. 5Aces Sep 1,2014 1:17 pm

    Schlong!

    Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
  12. Glorious Mundy Sep 1,2014 1:20 pm

    That seems auspicious.

  13. lenscrafters Sep 1,2014 1:20 pm

    So much better than Callaspo!

  14. 5Aces Sep 1,2014 1:20 pm

    DUNN DUNN DUUUUUNNNNNNN!!!!!

    Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
  15. dmoas Sep 1,2014 1:20 pm

    Du Dun Dunn!!!

  16. East Bay Evans Sep 1,2014 1:20 pm

    Way to go, Adam!

  17. nowBodhi Sep 1,2014 1:20 pm

    who DUNNit??????

    Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
  18. 5Aces Sep 1,2014 1:21 pm

    And Moss gets on base. FK YOU AUGUST!!!

    Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
  19. bear88 Sep 1,2014 1:21 pm

    It was a Day Game Homer, barely out. But you go to your new team that’s in dire straits and your first at-bat is a home run?

    Wow, that’s a huge boost.

    • Glorious Mundy Sep 1,2014 1:22 pm || Up

      He may have hit that high enough to end the drought.

      • Ben Folds' Nuts Sep 1,2014 1:44 pm || Up

        The A’s offensive drought, or the one that is making it hard for folks to get enough water to drink?

    • Future Ed Sep 1,2014 5:21 pm || Up

      that would have went out at any time. it was very, very, very high.

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
  20. Glorious Mundy Sep 1,2014 1:22 pm

    Dunn vs. flyball righty is a nice matchup.

  21. mikeA Sep 1,2014 1:22 pm

    I like Hawk and I love his hr call for Dunn: “He Dunn did it!”

    • Ben Folds' Nuts Sep 1,2014 1:48 pm || Up

      That cannot possibly be his actual home run call for Dunn.

  22. MikeV Sep 1,2014 1:22 pm

    DO YOU SEE? DO YOU FUCKING SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THE SHORTSTOP ISN’T REPLACEMENT LEVEL?

    And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

    Thanks, and go As.

  23. lenscrafters Sep 1,2014 1:22 pm

    So much better than Parrino!

  24. nowBodhi Sep 1,2014 1:23 pm

    Tennessee JED

    Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
  25. mikeA Sep 1,2014 1:24 pm

    @GM, very low K flyball rhp…

  26. doctorK Sep 1,2014 1:25 pm

    Dammit, I Dunn missed the new guy’s first AB.

  27. Glorious Mundy Sep 1,2014 1:25 pm

    Dunn just looks right in this uniform, doesn’t he? Like, what took so long?

  28. 5Aces Sep 1,2014 1:26 pm

    Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
  29. Glorious Mundy Sep 1,2014 1:26 pm

    Fosse’s killing Jackson for not getting to Reddick’s double, but they haven’t shown a replay suggesting he had a chance at it.

    • Future Ed Sep 1,2014 5:24 pm || Up

      he did not. although off the bat i was scared

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
  30. nowBodhi Sep 1,2014 1:28 pm

    nice AB by Vogt here

    Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
  31. Glorious Mundy Sep 1,2014 1:30 pm

    New guy(s)

  32. MikeV Sep 1,2014 1:30 pm

    This is so much more fun.

    And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

    Thanks, and go As.

  33. lenscrafters Sep 1,2014 1:30 pm

    God damn I’ve missed these types of innings from the A’s.

  34. nowBodhi Sep 1,2014 1:31 pm

    Man, did I miss this shit.

    Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
  35. doctorK Sep 1,2014 1:32 pm

    DUNN GEOVANY

  36. nowBodhi Sep 1,2014 1:32 pm

    That’s as many runs as we scored in the whole last 4 games, folks. BIG PROPS to the 30,000 lunatics going ballistic in the concrete cathedral, letting our boys know we are with them <3

    Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
    • Glorious Mundy Sep 1,2014 1:34 pm || Up

      Yes. Our fans rule.

      • East Bay Evans Sep 1,2014 2:16 pm || Up

        Props to the folks that met them at the airport.

  37. Glorious Mundy Sep 1,2014 1:33 pm

    Heh

    • Kay Temple Kirk Sep 1,2014 1:40 pm || Up

      muahahahahah.

      \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
  38. dmoas Sep 1,2014 1:34 pm

    We Dunn just batted around.

  39. Glorious Mundy Sep 1,2014 1:35 pm

    The power of Melvin’s disappointment is breathtaking.

    • 5Aces Sep 1,2014 1:40 pm || Up

      I really think I need to have him come and chew me out about work or something.

      Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
      • nowBodhi Sep 1,2014 1:42 pm || Up

        seriously, Melvin has a 7-figure career as a motivational speaker when he’s done in MLB

        Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
  40. nowBodhi Sep 1,2014 1:35 pm

    I’m new to opening innings of a homestand after a disastrous series. Is this any good?

    Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
  41. dmoas Sep 1,2014 1:38 pm

    I nearly forgot that it was Hammel pitching.

  42. Jennifer Sep 1,2014 1:39 pm

    Da hell is this?

  43. doctorK Sep 1,2014 1:42 pm

    Someone needs tell Sogard not to make the fair catch at the goal line – let that sucker go into the end zone!

  44. nowBodhi Sep 1,2014 1:43 pm

    GREAT hilarious football call by KenKo, I LOL’d:

    Sogard is to the ten, to the five, to the two where he hauls it in for the first down!

    Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
    • doctorK Sep 1,2014 1:46 pm || Up

      I would love to see one of our guys make a catch in the end zone, spike the ball and do a touchdown dance.

      • Glorious Mundy Sep 1,2014 1:47 pm || Up

        Maybe a Lambeau leap into the field level seats.

  45. Glorious Mundy Sep 1,2014 1:46 pm

    Fosse’s as skittish about Hammel as we are.

  46. Glorious Mundy Sep 1,2014 1:49 pm

    Holy stirrups!

  47. bear88 Sep 1,2014 1:51 pm

    Well, Hammel got out of it. But the A’s need more runs.

  48. Glorious Mundy Sep 1,2014 1:51 pm

    Hahahaha Anderson’s hair OMG.

  49. Jennifer Sep 1,2014 1:52 pm

    Okay, you’re ridiculous.

  50. Ben Folds' Nuts Sep 1,2014 1:53 pm

    I think Ken Korach’s voice just cracked while calling the Dunn base hit. Adam Dunn is bringing tears of joy to KenKo.

    • nevermoor Sep 1,2014 1:54 pm || Up

      To be fair, that must be his first single in about 5 years.

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  51. doctorK Sep 1,2014 1:53 pm

    I like this new guy, as long as we don’t ever have to see him in the field.

    • andeux Sep 1,2014 1:55 pm || Up

      If he ends up in the field it means something has gone terribly wrong.

      TINSTAAFK
      • Glorious Mundy Sep 1,2014 1:55 pm || Up

        Or we’re in the World Series.

      • andeux Sep 1,2014 1:56 pm || Up

        Though actually, if he ends up playing in the field at an NL park, I’ll be ok with it.

        TINSTAAFK
        • Ben Folds' Nuts Sep 1,2014 2:06 pm || Up

          National League baseball is, it should be noted, something that has gone terribly wrong.

  52. 5Aces Sep 1,2014 1:53 pm

    Can you become 2014 team MVP in 1 game? Asking for a friend…

    Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
  53. Jennifer Sep 1,2014 1:54 pm

    The power of Scott Hatteberg compels you.

  54. nowBodhi Sep 1,2014 1:54 pm

    DUNN to the death!!!!

    Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
  55. Glorious Mundy Sep 1,2014 1:56 pm

    That was a nasty pitch to K Moss.

  56. lenscrafters Sep 1,2014 2:03 pm

    I gotta say, Hammel’s stuff looks terrific today.

  57. Ben Folds' Nuts Sep 1,2014 2:04 pm

    Dudes, what about Josh Reddick though? .284/.323/.526 since coming back, with an .849 OPS, .367 wOBA, 139 WRC+. Today not included. And it’s not even BABIP-fueled, since his BABIP during that time is almost exactly in line with his career figure.

    • Glorious Mundy Sep 1,2014 2:10 pm || Up

      He is liquid nails. Liquid. Nails. Wait, what were we talking about?

    • bear88 Sep 1,2014 2:14 pm || Up

      I still don’t totally trust him. But the numbers don’t lie.

      And on Saturday, when Reddick was removed from the game in favor of Gomes even with a bunch of right-handers waiting to pitch, I had a sinking feeling. Reddick has been the A’s best-hitting outfielder for a while now. Removing him was Melvin’s only bad mistake of the Lost Weekend. (The rest of it can be explained by no runs.)

    • MikeV Sep 1,2014 2:14 pm || Up

      I like him.

      And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

      Thanks, and go As.

  58. FreeSeatUpgrade Sep 1,2014 2:05 pm

    I like the look of this team. Diamond-cut jibs of granite.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  59. bear88 Sep 1,2014 2:10 pm

    Tigers leading Cleveland 5-1.

  60. Ben Folds' Nuts Sep 1,2014 2:13 pm

    I think the real problem with Vince Cotroneo is that he does want to be on the radio talking about baseball, but he is profoundly uninterested in calling the play by play.

    • bear88 Sep 1,2014 2:16 pm || Up

      You can hear it in his voice. He’s invested and excited when talking baseball. But he doesn’t really like play-by-play, and doesn’t work at his craft. Perhaps Bob Melvin should give him a stern talking-to.

      • Ben Folds' Nuts Sep 1,2014 2:24 pm || Up

        He barely even bothered to mention Eric Sogard striking out to end an inning.

      • Future Ed Sep 1,2014 5:39 pm || Up

        he cares about the narrative of the game, and he isn’t thoughtful. if he cared about the action and was not thoughtful, that’d be better, or if he was thoughtful and didnt’ care about the action, but he chose the worst two attributes to combine

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
      • Kay Temple Kirk Sep 2,2014 7:18 am || Up

        He’s not smart or interesting enough to do color, though.

        I wonder if Johnny Doskow is under contract next year in Sacramento. I’d love to see him replace Vince for Ken’s innings off.

        \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
        • MikeV Sep 2,2014 8:15 am || Up

          DALLAS BRADEN

          *clap clap clapclapclap*

          DALLAS BRADEN

          *clap clap clapclapclap*

          And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

          Thanks, and go As.

          • Future Ed Sep 2,2014 9:34 am || Up

            he would be the best choice

            I have $5. No I don\'t.
            • MikeV Sep 2,2014 9:36 am || Up

              only if he cut that mop on his head though.

              Yes, even for radio. It looks awful.

              And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

              Thanks, and go As.

          • Kay Temple Kirk Sep 2,2014 9:41 am || Up

            Braden would suck for play-by-play, tho.

            \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
          • dmoas Sep 2,2014 9:49 am || Up

            He’d be much better for TV as Ray’s replacement.

            • Future Ed Sep 2,2014 9:51 am || Up

              its settled. Vince and Dallas on TV, Ken and roxy on the radio

              I have $5. No I don\'t.
  61. Glorious Mundy Sep 1,2014 2:16 pm

    Hammel is…dominating? Do I have that right? That looks wrong.

    • dmoas Sep 1,2014 2:17 pm || Up

      No. Just not sucking ass. Not tossing the salad. Not smoking the glory hole.

      • doctorK Sep 1,2014 2:19 pm || Up

        Not emulating Adam Rosales.

      • bear88 Sep 1,2014 2:20 pm || Up

        He’s apparently pretty good with a comfortable lead. Or he’s – dare I think it – starting to recapture his early-season form.

        • nowBodhi Sep 1,2014 2:50 pm || Up

          I think Soto suits him well.

          Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
        • sslinger Sep 1,2014 11:02 pm || Up

          He’s keeping the ball down, which is a big difference from how he started out here. Who know why he started out so bad after the trade, but he kept saying it was just a mechanical issue and it seems like it’s been figured out. Let’s hope so.

  62. bear88 Sep 1,2014 2:19 pm

    Being a play-in team creates perverse rooting interests. The Tigers are a flawed team, but the worst possible opponent in an elimination game (and not just because of the A’s recent history). I would rather Detroit win the division and deal with them in a short or long series than face them in a single game, when they can use all their best pitchers and would have every incentive to do so.

    • Future Ed Sep 1,2014 5:41 pm || Up

      I don’t know, will asmus have the stones to have price relive verlander or scherzer?

      KC has a great bullpen, I don’t like that. their offense sucks. who knows if cabrera will be available

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
      • Glorious Mundy Sep 1,2014 5:44 pm || Up

        Maybe make Scherzer the emergency reliever. He’s OK at that as I recall.

  63. bear88 Sep 1,2014 2:29 pm

    Soto has a cannon. That can be helpful.

  64. Glorious Mundy Sep 1,2014 2:34 pm

    Lowrie has accomplished the impossible: making me excited about hearing Rush.

  65. 5Aces Sep 1,2014 2:36 pm

    Really need to score some more. As nice as the 1st was we have seen a couple of these 1 inning ejaculations of runs before. I want to see multiple crooked numbers plz.

    Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
    • andeux Sep 1,2014 2:38 pm || Up

      Yes. Partly because I still don’t really trust Hammel. And partly because I would like our hitters to get back in the habit of being successful. (Confidence!)

      TINSTAAFK
      • bear88 Sep 1,2014 2:42 pm || Up

        That Seattle home run is a reminder of the first reason.

        But yes, the hitters need a little more success so the first inning doesn’t seem like a fluke.

  66. Glorious Mundy Sep 1,2014 2:37 pm

    Nothing more fascinating for Fosse than an official scorer’s decision.

    • bear88 Sep 1,2014 2:43 pm || Up

      Especially if it goes against a catcher.

  67. bear88 Sep 1,2014 2:45 pm

    That’s fine. One solo shot. Hammel continues to sail along.

  68. FreeSeatUpgrade Sep 1,2014 2:50 pm

    Reddick gets a line drive hit off a tough pitcher’s pitch. Hitting really is contagious. JD’s turn now.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  69. Jennifer Sep 1,2014 3:17 pm

    I’ve done the exact same thing with beach balls at a concert.

  70. FreeSeatUpgrade Sep 1,2014 3:21 pm

    So far in his two starts since joining the A’s I really like this new #40 guy.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • dmoas Sep 1,2014 3:23 pm || Up

      It helps to have a short memory.

    • 5Aces Sep 1,2014 3:25 pm || Up

      Its like picking up another quality starter after the trade deadline.

      Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
  71. Glorious Mundy Sep 1,2014 3:22 pm

    Legitimately great outing

  72. bear88 Sep 1,2014 3:22 pm

    Go figure. Hammel is the stopper.

  73. Glorious Mundy Sep 1,2014 3:25 pm

    Beimel really looks like a homeless guy wandered in and put on a uniform.

    • andeux Sep 1,2014 3:27 pm || Up

      He and Doolittle should barnstorm with House of David in the offseason.

      TINSTAAFK
      • nowBodhi Sep 1,2014 3:29 pm || Up

        “And what’s with all these…. BEARDS?!?! This isn’t the GOD DAMN House of David softball team, this is the BUDDY RICH BAND!!!!!! Young men!!!!! WITH FACES!!!!!!!!!”

        Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
  74. dmoas Sep 1,2014 3:37 pm

    What’s that thing that happens when your team scores more than the other team at the end of the game called again? I forget.

  75. 5Aces Sep 1,2014 3:38 pm

    Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
  76. FreeSeatUpgrade Sep 1,2014 3:39 pm

    Victory! Sweet blessed victory!

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  77. nowBodhi Sep 1,2014 3:40 pm

    Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
  78. FreeSeatUpgrade Sep 1,2014 3:42 pm

    Adam Dunn handling Ray Fosse’s questions like a pro. What does it mean? It means a lot, Ray.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  79. Ben Folds' Nuts Sep 1,2014 4:27 pm

    Fun fact: All of the A’s runs today were scored with two outs.

  80. mother pucker Sep 1,2014 4:30 pm

    • nowBodhi Sep 1,2014 4:32 pm || Up

      not sure I could feel any better today, based on 24 hours ago’s near death experience

      Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
    • Future Ed Sep 1,2014 5:45 pm || Up

      during the final batter of the top of the 8th the entire crowd was chanting HAM-MELL HAM-MELL!*

      *except the bros behind me chanting HAM MELLS. they also said said “nice play JD” ona ground ball to short in the early innings, and in the ninth, “nice play gentry” on another 6-3.

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
      • Ben Folds' Nuts Sep 1,2014 6:34 pm || Up

        Shows what they know. Dale Barton plays shortstop for the A’s.

    • Englishmajor Sep 1,2014 7:25 pm || Up

      It was a great crowd, and it was all the more great because the jersey giveaway was a complete clusterFK. People were hot and tired and pissed off before they even sat down, so it could have easily gone the other way, but instead it felt like everyone took all the negative energy and fought against it. You know it’s going to be a good crowd when people in Plaza Level start chanting “Let’s Go Oakland” before the National Anthem, without any kind of prompting from anyone.

      • Glorious Mundy Sep 1,2014 7:26 pm || Up

        The mariachi band was epic too. Anybody know their story?

        • Englishmajor Sep 1,2014 7:27 pm || Up

          It was some private party that moved from the lot into the stands, I think. Very odd to see people sitting in a baseball park playing violins.

          • Glorious Mundy Sep 1,2014 7:28 pm || Up

            The horns really came through on TV. I thought it was Soto’s walkup music at one point.

            • dmoas Sep 1,2014 9:12 pm || Up

              I love his walk up music. It sort of came out of nowhere for me. I was like wtf is that, that’s awesome.

      • Ben Folds' Nuts Sep 1,2014 8:26 pm || Up

        How’d they fuck up the giveaway?

        • Future Ed Sep 1,2014 8:29 pm || Up

          the give away item was fine, the coordination of the giveaway sucked from pillar to post

          I have $5. No I don\'t.
  81. FreeSeatUpgrade Sep 1,2014 4:35 pm

    Rivercats lose their must-win finale to the Reno Aces, 2-1 in 10 innings. Sacto had two men on in the bottom of the 10th, but the rally died on a Barton GIDP.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • dmoas Sep 1,2014 4:39 pm || Up

      Rumor has it, just before he stepped to the plate, someone told him Dunn took his number on the A’s.

      • nowBodhi Sep 1,2014 5:52 pm || Up

        to be fair, he did flip the bat stylishly after a 4th inning walk

        Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
      • Englishmajor Sep 1,2014 7:31 pm || Up

        If the A’s bring him up for September he should get #86.

    • nowBodhi Sep 1,2014 5:51 pm || Up

      that is just SO FITTING

      Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
    • Soaker Sep 1,2014 6:22 pm || Up

      I hope Barton took a handshaking victory lap around Raley Field after the game. You’d think that’s it for him and the A’s, though if they want an organizational swimming coach there wouldn’t be a better candidate.

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
      • Glorious Mundy Sep 1,2014 7:23 pm || Up

        I hope he’s getting a head start on learning Japanese.

        • Englishmajor Sep 1,2014 7:29 pm || Up

          すみません、どのように深いあなたのスイミング プールですか?

          • Glorious Mundy Sep 1,2014 7:30 pm || Up

            私は大声で笑っています。

            • Englishmajor Sep 1,2014 7:55 pm || Up

              スイミング プールについてのアドバイスをありがとうございますけど今は Toto のウォシュレットを使用しようとしながら私の制服のズボンを飽和していることを恐れて。

              • doctorK Sep 1,2014 8:00 pm || Up

                私は肛門の洗浄を伴うもの日本のトイレが大好きです。

              • JediLeroy Sep 2,2014 2:34 pm || Up
                az di bobe volt gehat beytsim volt zi geven mayn zeyde
                • elcroata Sep 3,2014 8:05 am || Up

                  Good read. This part about Japanese being so open about it is really interesting. With so many RoboToilets also featuring music to (I imagine) hide the sounds of what you are doing, I would have guessed they were very conscious about it.

                  Also, for a different squatter experience, I reccomend China, where you can see a guy squatted over a pile that’s coming out of the squatter, reading his paper and calmly smoking.

                  Because survival is insufficient
                • AV Sep 3,2014 8:49 am || Up

                  or, as i’ve learned to say:

                  Calmly puffing away while just barely avoiding feces fusion.

                  *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
                • elcroata Sep 3,2014 9:42 am || Up

                  True, you taglined that, I remember now

                  Because survival is insufficient
                • AV Sep 3,2014 10:03 am || Up

                  i don’t merely remember. it’s fused into my memory like…

                  *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • Englishmajor Sep 1,2014 7:26 pm || Up

        I’m hoping part of the deal for the River Cats is they have to keep him.

        • 5Aces Sep 1,2014 7:29 pm || Up

          I’m hoping the same thing. If he somehow makes his way to Fresno next year I may have to rethink a season ticket package.

          Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
  82. MikeV Sep 1,2014 7:28 pm

    Fucking seriously

    An awesome win, Dunn homers and says all the right things, and we still want to fucking talk shit about Daric Barton

    get. the. fuck. over. it.

    And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

    Thanks, and go As.

    • FreeSeatUpgrade Sep 1,2014 7:35 pm || Up

      Dude, it was the last game of his season, and likely his A’s career, win or else elimination game, that ended in 10 innings in noteworthy fashion. And people here are talking about all kinds of things as well. Someone needs to get over it, you do have that part right.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • MikeV Sep 1,2014 7:39 pm || Up

        I hope he gets called up for the rest of the year just so it pisses people off.

        And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

        Thanks, and go As.

        • 5Aces Sep 1,2014 7:45 pm || Up

          And I hope we win the WS wikthout picking up another MI. We all have hopes and dreams.

          Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
        • FreeSeatUpgrade Sep 1,2014 8:17 pm || Up

          I wouldn’t mind that, would be a nice gesture towards a guy who has been a loyal Athletic for years and is most likely at the end of his career.

          "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
            • Kay Temple Kirk Sep 2,2014 7:23 am || Up

              Agreed. Save some pine for that butt.

              \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
  83. Future Ed Sep 1,2014 7:58 pm

    By the way, that was the worst ball park experience I have had in a while.

    First, arriving just under 2 hours before a game should get you the give away. Sure, I know it was limited to 15000 and there were few seats available (although the SELL OUT sign that is typically out for sell outs was not out today and I saw a robust line at the “DAY OF GAME” ticket line. but if there is a giveaway and you arrive in the parking lot 2 hours before gametime and try to enter, the powers that be should have made the order for enough freebies. Yes, I know the sponsor has a budget, but maybe you should figure that out before hand. I mean, the backpacks would be loved by my children, but there in no way I could pull an Aces off and sit for it. and now they are going for almost $100 on ebay. that is not good planning. 15000 Ryan Sweeney jerseys in 2009 are 8000 too many, 15000 coco jerseys in 2014 are 8000 too few.

    Second, the end line tender should alert you that you are in the NON SHIRT line when you stop in, not let you figure it out 20 minutes in. (again, having seen the lines and being able to calculate time, I thought it was a slim chance, but still, I was not given the choice, really. )

    third, the lines need to be tended in soft spots. I had to tell 4 different groups that they just cut in front of about 200 people. One of which argued (not hard) with me that she just got there before me. The lines made no sense and were cut through often

    Forth, look, I get it, lots of people eat meat and I don’t. But please, if you are going to only offer one veggie dog place, please don’t ask me to wait for 35 minutes for them to cook. ALso, don’t after 20 minutes ask me if I want a coliseum dog instead. that doesn’t make sense.

    Fifth, again with the lines, I wanted to spend time inside the building, my kids like to hit in the cages (which we pay for) they like to spin eh kids club wheel. when there are big crowds it takes a long time to walk around. when you make us stand outside for an hour and a half, we only get 30 minutes to accomplish these tasks making us tense and disappointed when we get to the seats. Find away to get us inside quickly. it makes no sense that all the lines aren’t open. You can get people through the unnecessary metal detectors first, have them in waiting area then let them into the turnstile lines.

    Sixth, the lines, every line in the place from outside to the food lines needs bank lines to keep the flow. It is maddening to have to choose a line and hope that there is not someone in front of you with trouble ordering/paying/accepting money.

    seventh, for the love of god, stop telling me to make noise with every damned scoreboard. Leave at least one with the count and batter and other info on it.

    I am sure there is more, and some of these are not just for today, but today really made me mad enough to send a letter.

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • MikeV Sep 1,2014 8:19 pm || Up

      I’ve always wondered why they don’t just make enough of the stupid giveaways for everybody in the stadium to get one.

      And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

      Thanks, and go As.

      • Ben Folds' Nuts Sep 1,2014 8:31 pm || Up

        At this point, with giveaway days pretty much always being sellouts now, it would make sense.

      • Future Ed Sep 1,2014 8:32 pm || Up

        they made enough for everyone in the stadium to get one on september 1, 2010.

        extras for 2011

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
      • dmoas Sep 1,2014 9:17 pm || Up

        It’s all driven my the sponsor and what value they put on getting their name out there. If the sponsor is only willing to foot the bill for 15k then that’s all there is.

        • FreeSeatUpgrade Sep 1,2014 9:28 pm || Up

          Well, the A’s get to set the terms of the marketing/giveaway deals, so they could if they wanted set a minimum giveaway item # at 20,000, or 36,067, or whatever. But some number of sponsors wouldn’t go for it, and the total number of giveaways would decline. Since the A’s ticket sales approach really does seem to prioritize giveaways and fireworks heavily, requiring more giveaway items would have some larger implications for their marketing plans. Not saying a higher minimum is a good or a bad idea, just that it’s not necessarily as easy as just saying it will be so.

          "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
          • dmoas Sep 1,2014 9:53 pm || Up

            As much as they get railed on, I’m confident they’ve done the math there and work within the most “optimized” numbers for that in terms of sponsor dollar for attendance number. They could force that higher number, but as you point out, there are consequences for doing so. I’m sure they do something similar in terms of where they price point their ticket prices as well.

            • MikeV Sep 1,2014 9:55 pm || Up

              I dunno, all these stupid giveaways are guaranteed sellouts, it only seems obvious to give everybody what they fucking came for

              i’m not in marketing though

              And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

              Thanks, and go As.

              • FreeSeatUpgrade Sep 1,2014 10:13 pm || Up

                That’s not true though. I think I heard today was the 13th sellout of the year, which is fantastic. Subtract opening night and four fireworks so far, that leaves 8. There have been more than 8 giveaways.

                Here’s my take: the A’s marketing plans usually trail attendance trends. For the last three years they’ve focused on maximizing promos, as a lower attendance team should, doing anything you can to move the turnstiles. And they’ve done OK with that. But now, with a team challenging for a third straight postseason, attendance is being driven by success, and by the excitement of actually being at the Coliseum. So they maybe don’t need as many cheap promos and could perhaps instead do fewer, better ones. But again, how many such games you host and the volume of objects you give away are interrelated decisions, made (one hopes) with more of a big picture view of attendance for the entire season, or longer.

                "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
                • Future Ed Sep 1,2014 10:51 pm || Up

                  ANd I want to emphasize, I am not particularly bitter about not gettting the give away, I made my bed, I wasn’t lined up in time.

                  I am bitter about the way the lines were administered. that was pathetic and anyone that has ever been to an event with more than 1,000 people in attendance should have been able to figure that out before today.

                  I have $5. No I don\'t.
              • Future Ed Sep 1,2014 10:14 pm || Up

                one would think there is a monetary value on keeping the casual fan happy. Is the family that happened to pick today to come going to get tickets again? two hours to get in? long concession lines. Gridlocked concourse? Sauna giftshops? No kids merch?

                Great game though.

                I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • Englishmajor Sep 1,2014 8:22 pm || Up

      At the main gate on the south side, some idiot had decided that the best way to give people their choice of M or XL was to narrow the 8 or so lanes of traffic coming through the turnstiles down to 2 immediately after the turnstiles, where two volunteers were posted to ask “What size would you like?”. This would have been a bad idea even if the volunteers had been properly instructed to ask “M or XL?”, but with the open-ended question, it meant that crowds of people were trapped between the metal detectors and the turnstiles while the entering customers were having conversations with the volunteers about whether the jerseys would shrink, why there weren’t any Ls, etc. I said to the ticket taker at my turnstile “Wow, it’s like we never had a giveaway day before”, and he said bitterly “We’re trying a new system, because the one that’s been working for six years isn’t good enough any more.”

      And I agree with your points above. The “Make some NOISE” was particularly irritating because they kept putting it up after the crowd was already making quite a bit of noise. The giveaways should be increased to capacity or a much larger number, but I think they should be distributed differently too. Such as, give the first 15K a coupon, or encode their ticket somehow, and have the physical giveaway taking place elsewhere – maybe in the East Side Club, maybe in the team stores themselves. This would have the bonus effect of discouraging the people who show up, grab the giveaway, and leave; or who go through the line twice — almost all of those are destined for eBay rather than fan use.

      • andeux Sep 1,2014 8:28 pm || Up

        why there weren’t any Ls

        Having the most popular size, or more generally having the different sizes in numbers roughly proportionate to demand, seems like it might be another good idea.

        TINSTAAFK
        • nevermoor Sep 1,2014 9:00 pm || Up

          Yep. It’s really too bad that they can’t figure this out, since an opportunity to make new fans ends up pissing off current ones.

          "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
          • Future Ed Sep 1,2014 9:14 pm || Up

            I am currently wearing the smallest size Athleticos shirt. it fits me well. I cannot gain any weight and have it fit me well.

            Also, I have I think 4 others in my closet the same size because they did not and do not fit my children

            I have $5. No I don\'t.
            • MikeV Sep 1,2014 9:20 pm || Up

              I cannot gain any weight

              *ahem*

              FK you, Ed.

              And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

              Thanks, and go As.

              • Future Ed Sep 1,2014 9:37 pm || Up

                Oh, I CAN gain weight. Just not if I want to wear this shirt

                I have $5. No I don\'t.
                • andeux Sep 1,2014 10:02 pm || Up

                  I need a magic shirt like that.

                  TINSTAAFK
                • FreeSeatUpgrade Sep 1,2014 10:15 pm || Up

                  Sorry, unless you’re an M or an XL the A’s don’t make a magic weight loss shirt for you.

                  "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
                • Future Ed Sep 1,2014 10:22 pm || Up

                  end of 2011 i was in a trial and realized (in front of the jury) that I couldn’t button one of my suits. (turns out all of them) I have to stay under the splayed button weight because I am too cheap to buy new suits.

                  I have $5. No I don\'t.
      • Future Ed Sep 1,2014 9:16 pm || Up

        Or when they play the bars to lets go oakland when the chant is already happening, or more recently during a stephan vogt at bat

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
        • FreeSeatUpgrade Sep 1,2014 9:31 pm || Up

          All in all I don’t get too upset about the A’s trying to exhort the crowd to noise. It’s sometimes ill-timed and obtrusive, but a lot less so than many other places. I am concerned, though, about how this will look on next year’s new ribbon scoreboards.

          "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
          • Future Ed Sep 1,2014 9:41 pm || Up

            I am not offended by them telling us to make noise. It happens everywhere. I get the need to do that stuff.

            I want a scoreboard to look at when it happens. I am busy talking to my kids and sometimes I forget the click my ball strike counter so i don’t know if its 2-2, 1-2 or 0-2.

            wait, no, I don’t have a clicker because there is a scorboard (3 or 4 depending) I can look at to see the count.

            I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • oblique Sep 1,2014 9:55 pm || Up

      I found the noise signs particularly annoying today. They read and were served as if produced by a 14 year old. “That all you got?” was my (least) favorite. Don’t taunt your own home crowd, FFS.

      • Future Ed Sep 1,2014 10:10 pm || Up

        you made it!

        Yeah I remember that one, never seen it before, seemed off key

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
        • oblique Sep 2,2014 5:54 am || Up

          Yeah! My dad wanted to go with me, which is awesome. We got there in time to hear the Dunn HR and stayed thru the 5th.

    • Future Ed Sep 4,2014 9:47 pm || Up
      I have $5. No I don\'t.
      • FreeSeatUpgrade Sep 4,2014 10:05 pm || Up

        Wow, that guy really does look exactly the way I picture heartless giveaway resellers, right down to the smirk of victory with his armload of jerseys.

        From closed listings it looks like those are mostly going for around $35-40. And every one of the 20 or so I saw was either M or XL.

        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  84. Future Ed Sep 1,2014 8:27 pm

    Also, on todays game. I was happy that they got to young so decisively. he has been really tough on this team. Of course, the 2 new guys were key.

    Walker pitched as expected, which I did not enjoy. There needed to be a few more scores in there.

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
  85. vignette17 Sep 1,2014 11:03 pm

    So, I just got back to see the end of the game today. Glad to see the A’s were able to shake off that tough protested loss on Thursday. Especially with the 3 straight days of Friday, Saturday, Sunday off.

    • nowBodhi Sep 2,2014 12:33 am || Up

      It sure was bold for them to forfeit the rest of that series, huh? I mean I thought they might get pulled off the field, but that was a little much.

      Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
  86. MikeV Sep 2,2014 8:56 am

    translation: We will continue to have zero accountability for umpires

    And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

    Thanks, and go As.

    • Future Ed Sep 2,2014 9:36 am || Up

      seriously. If they don’t want the managers and players to scream and yell, they are changing 130 years of baseball tradition.

      Umpires have never had that allowance.

      he should be fired or at the very least suspended and never given an A’s Game

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
      • dmoas Sep 2,2014 9:50 am || Up

        It’s really kind of disgusting.

      • 5Aces Sep 2,2014 9:53 am || Up

        I am already worried he is going to end up in a post season game this year and influence the outcome.

        Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
        • Future Ed Sep 2,2014 9:54 am || Up

          play in game, behind the plate

          I have $5. No I don\'t.
        • andeux Sep 2,2014 9:59 am || Up

          I’m just as worried about Kazmir’s inability to keep his shit together when the strike zone isn’t to his liking.

          TINSTAAFK
          • 5Aces Sep 2,2014 10:23 am || Up

            And with umps he has a history with. I almost think you have to factor that into the playoff rotation. As long as there is enough rest you make sure he goes with the best match even if that means a place that doesnt seem to make as much sense otherwise.

            Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
          • vignette17 Sep 2,2014 10:36 am || Up

            Did anyone post the brooksbaseball strike zone? How bad was it really?

            • MikeV Sep 2,2014 10:41 am || Up

              Pretty bad against RHH

              And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

              Thanks, and go As.

              • dmoas Sep 2,2014 10:49 am || Up

                That’s totally consistent in a inconsistent way. Seriously. Is he blind?

                • 5Aces Sep 2,2014 10:55 am || Up

                  I never remember what is what on these (is it ana pitching or hitting, etc) but can usually get an idea based on how it lays out and what we are talking about. Here I just look and say “yeah this is a hot mess…”.

                  Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
                • dmoas Sep 2,2014 11:00 am || Up

                  My understanding is the green triangles in the zone are our pitchers getting fucked over. And there seems to be a lot of it. But yes, one ugly hot mess.

            • andeux Sep 2,2014 10:55 am || Up

              Kazmir: “And what I saw in the video were 10-plus pitches that I felt were right there.”
              Norris: “It seemed like he made consecutive pitches over and over again that weren’t getting called,”

              This one is just Kazmir:

              There was ONE bad called that went against him. And granted it was a big one – should have been called strike three, to one of the batters he ended up walking. But there were not ten that were even close.

              TINSTAAFK
              • Ben Folds' Nuts Sep 2,2014 12:06 pm || Up

                What does it look like when compared with the Angels’ guy though?

    • Future Ed Sep 2,2014 9:37 am || Up

      Is there video?

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
  87. Future Ed Sep 2,2014 12:58 pm

    went yesterday. Going tonight with the golden tickets, but for those interested tomorrow seems to be a bargain

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • Glorious Mundy Sep 2,2014 1:01 pm || Up

      This game may not take longer than a couple of GOT episodes.

    • Future Ed Sep 2,2014 1:03 pm || Up

      lots of plaza infield left for tonight. otherwise good crowd.

      It looks like only 217 and 216 has more than 50 seats sold.

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • Ben Folds' Nuts Sep 2,2014 1:06 pm || Up

      It’s not TV. It’s MLB.HBO

  88. Future Ed Sep 2,2014 1:08 pm

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • nevermoor Sep 2,2014 1:11 pm || Up

      Of course, the flip side is that by Fangraphs WAR Cespedes’ August would be second best on the team (behind donaldson, ahead of Fuld)

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
      • Future Ed Sep 2,2014 1:16 pm || Up

        my take from fangraphs is Cabrera and prado are half a win a piece.

        Callaspo -.4
        Parrino -.1
        Sogard .6

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
        • andeux Sep 2,2014 1:24 pm || Up

          At least we continued to avoid Stephen Drew, who has hit more or less like Parrino but gotten four times as much playing time.

          TINSTAAFK
      • Ben Folds' Nuts Sep 2,2014 2:49 pm || Up

        But he would be the only one on the team who was playing his home games at Fenway.

    • nevermoor Sep 2,2014 1:13 pm || Up

      Of course, the flip side is that by Fangraphs WAR Cespedes’ August would be second best on the team (behind donaldson, ahead of Lester)

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  89. Future Ed Sep 2,2014 1:11 pm
    I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • nevermoor Sep 2,2014 1:27 pm || Up

      Yep.

      But we got most of the value on that list. So there’s that.

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
      • mikeA Sep 2,2014 6:16 pm || Up

        That Cespedes number is mostly defense, which makes it fishy for these sorts of comps, and hitter/pitcher war comps can be suspect anyway. Lester has pitched like an ace, Cespedes hit like he did for the a’s and possibly played like by far the best defensive lfer in baseball for a month.

        • colin Sep 3,2014 4:31 am || Up

          Has UZR managed to figure out how to account for LF at Fenway? If not, then who the hell knows about Cespedes’ August defense.

  90. Glorious Mundy Sep 2,2014 6:38 pm

    A very short new-manager boost for the Astros wouldn’t be the worst thing.

    • FreeSeatUpgrade Sep 2,2014 6:54 pm || Up

      Is Tom Lawless Gallego-ish in his shortness, or more Sogardian? Either way, so far so good!

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  91. batgirl Sep 2,2014 7:06 pm

    Welker WTF??!!!

    • FreeSeatUpgrade Sep 2,2014 7:39 pm || Up

      Supposedly for trippin on MDMA at the Kentucky Derby in May, at which he distinguished himself notably.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • Soaker Sep 2,2014 7:59 pm || Up

        So tempting to click on that headline “Brother and Sister Arrested for Fucking in Church Parking Lot” in the sidebar. I’ll guess 1. Florida, 2. Arkansas, 3. Mississippi.

        What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
      • Kay Temple Kirk Sep 3,2014 1:52 pm || Up

        They should give him the Hunter S. Thompson Medal of Americanness for that, not a suspension.

        \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS

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