Game 136: Peak Eeyore? We can only hope ← FREE KRAUT!

Game 136: Peak Eeyore? We can only hope 277

So the A’s acquired Adam Dunn, longtime wish-list slugger and an old, big version of Cust.

He’s not playing today, though. Red-hot Matt Shoemaker pitches for the slegnA against Scott Kazmir.

The lineup, as the A’s try to cling to the hope of staying within hailing distance of the Angels:

Fuld

Reddick

Donaldson

Vogt

Moss

Norris

Callaspo

Sogard

Parrino

277 thoughts on “Game 136: Peak Eeyore? We can only hope

  1. Glorious Mundy Aug 31,2014 12:36 pm

    That lineup is alarmingly terrible, but I’m still predicting a win.

    • bear88 Aug 31,2014 12:37 pm || Up

      Can’t do any worse than the lineup of the last two days

    • Soaker Aug 31,2014 12:38 pm || Up

      I looked up August OPS for everybody.

      Fuld .652
      Reddick .816
      Donaldson .914
      Vogt .654
      Moss .574
      Norris .540
      Callaspo .553
      Sogard .754
      Parrino .442

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
      • Bed Aug 31,2014 12:39 pm || Up

        Darn…you just beat me to it by a couple of seconds.

        But seriously, folks...
      • bear88 Aug 31,2014 12:44 pm || Up

        Moss, Norris and Callaspo… yeesh. No wonder Beane got Dunn.

  2. nowBodhi Aug 31,2014 12:37 pm

    Dunn? Just like the season.

    Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
    • Glorious Mundy Aug 31,2014 12:39 pm || Up

      You know what’s giving me hope? The last time you went on an epic negativity rant was after that sweep at the hand of the Rangers. After which the team went on a 2-month rampage through the league.

      • Bed Aug 31,2014 12:42 pm || Up

        I missed one of his epic rants…those are usually fun.

        But seriously, folks...
        • Glorious Mundy Aug 31,2014 12:45 pm || Up

          There’s an amazing MadLibs version from a game thread a couple of days ago. Not to be missed.

  3. Bed Aug 31,2014 12:39 pm

    THE ANGELS ARE SO DUNN!…Sorry, I’ll let myself out.

    But seriously, folks...
  4. bear88 Aug 31,2014 12:40 pm

    I’m approaching this as I did yesterday’s Cal game. I have no expectations. None at all.

  5. lenscrafters Aug 31,2014 12:40 pm

    Soft tossing, fly ball, no name pitcher who the A’s have never seen before with a good changeup…uh oh.

    • bear88 Aug 31,2014 12:43 pm || Up

      Pitcher who is breathing? The A’s hitters are in trouble. So it doesn’t make any difference. And this guy may be a no-name, but he’s been doing very well lately.

      • Bed Aug 31,2014 12:47 pm || Up

        The A’s totally rake against dead pitchers though…bring on Walter Johnson!

        But seriously, folks...
  6. East Bay Evans Aug 31,2014 12:43 pm

    We got this. Maybe.

    • Bed Aug 31,2014 12:44 pm || Up

      We’re gonna win unless we don’t.

      But seriously, folks...
  7. Bed Aug 31,2014 12:43 pm

    So, what’s the genesis of the eeyore thing? I’ve never really known what it meant.

    But seriously, folks...
    • East Bay Evans Aug 31,2014 12:44 pm || Up

      Ever see Winnie The Pooh?

      • Bed Aug 31,2014 12:46 pm || Up

        Probably back in 1978 or so. I can’t say I remember much about it. We read old copies of Popular Mechanics to our kids so I haven’t read it recently.

        But seriously, folks...
        • East Bay Evans Aug 31,2014 12:47 pm || Up

          He’s like a depressed Charlie O.

          • Bed Aug 31,2014 12:48 pm || Up

            Ah, so sort of a Joe Biden type figure.

            But seriously, folks...
        • Glorious Mundy Aug 31,2014 12:48 pm || Up

          Are there any popular Mechanics? I was going to say Mike, but he wasn’t really a Mechanic, technically.

          • Bed Aug 31,2014 12:49 pm || Up

            Yeah, Mike was kind of the foreman of the mechanics or perhaps the shop’s secretary…it’s a little confusing.

            But seriously, folks...
  8. Glorious Mundy Aug 31,2014 12:49 pm

    It annoys me that the crappy Angels farm system somehow barfed out Calhoun and Shoemaker.

    • Bed Aug 31,2014 12:50 pm || Up

      Hey! Our farm system has given us a bunch of great hitters. There’s uh…um….er…

      But seriously, folks...
      • bear88 Aug 31,2014 12:54 pm || Up

        There’s a shortstop at Midland who’s supposed to be really promising.

        Oh, wait.

    • lenscrafters Aug 31,2014 12:59 pm || Up

      Shoemaker is also irritating in that he looks like Brian Wilson.

    • Ben Folds' Nuts Aug 31,2014 1:06 pm || Up

      I still don’t think Shoemaker is as good as he seems.

  9. MikeV Aug 31,2014 12:50 pm

    MLB.tv is fucking terrible today.

    And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

    Thanks, and go As.

    • mother pucker Aug 31,2014 1:03 pm || Up

      For what it is worth, it was fucking awful for me last evening.

  10. Bed Aug 31,2014 12:52 pm

    Just a word of caution. If you take any Raiders in your fantasy draft you can be ruled legally insane by the state of California.

    But seriously, folks...
    • Glorious Mundy Aug 31,2014 12:54 pm || Up

      Crap. I just drafted Reggie McKenzie’s kid in my Fantasy High School Football league.

      • Bed Aug 31,2014 12:56 pm || Up

        He’ll be our new GM sometime around 2041.

        But seriously, folks...
  11. Bed Aug 31,2014 12:56 pm

    I’m drinking a Cherry Coke Zero which tastes like a regular Cherry Coke with an extra half of cup of water added.

    But seriously, folks...
    • Soaker Aug 31,2014 1:01 pm || Up

      I’m drinking a Lagunitas IPA. My liver would appreciate it if the team would start winning again.

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
  12. Bed Aug 31,2014 12:57 pm

    Wait…is this the Linguica Thread?

    But seriously, folks...
  13. bear88 Aug 31,2014 12:58 pm

    Not losing!

  14. MikeV Aug 31,2014 1:01 pm

    Seriously, we got 2 really good years from Moss after he was a minor league nobody for a long time.

    Is he turning back into a pumpkin now that he’s 30?

    And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

    Thanks, and go As.

    • Glorious Mundy Aug 31,2014 1:05 pm || Up

      I think the answer to this is no. But there is something very wrong with him right now.

      • bear88 Aug 31,2014 1:08 pm || Up

        Moss has been one of the A’s most consistent hitters over the past two seasons. But he’s just lost. Whatever he thought he had figured out the other day isn’t working.

        • Ben Folds' Nuts Aug 31,2014 1:10 pm || Up

          I think it’s time to put him in the #7 spot and tell him, “Hey dude. Just look at the baseball and swing at it when it’s something you can hit. Anything else, don’t do.”

          • 5Aces Aug 31,2014 1:12 pm || Up

            I keep looking at the lineup and thinking “this guy needs to get moved down for a week or so”. Problem is we feel like we have a lineup of all #9 hitters.

            Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
  15. 5Aces Aug 31,2014 1:02 pm

    Gameday tells me Moss got sucked into a blackhole or something. Out, but no clue as to why. Did he at least see 4 pitches?

    Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
    • lenscrafters Aug 31,2014 1:04 pm || Up

      Strike 1, missed bunt strike 2, ball, called strike 3, confused look on face on walk back to dugout

      • 5Aces Aug 31,2014 1:08 pm || Up

        He really is about to the point that CY25 rules apply to him.

        Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
        • Ben Folds' Nuts Aug 31,2014 1:08 pm || Up

          Only play him against Houston?

          • 5Aces Aug 31,2014 1:11 pm || Up

            Successful AB= 5 or more pitches, only 1 out made, and doesn’t spike himself.

            Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
  16. Ben Folds' Nuts Aug 31,2014 1:08 pm

    Yeah, Alberto. That’s what you do with a lazy changeup right down the middle of the zone. You hit a weak fly ball.

  17. Ben Folds' Nuts Aug 31,2014 1:14 pm

    Oh good, here comes a Kazmeltdown.

  18. nowBodhi Aug 31,2014 1:15 pm

    hahahaha that pitch was right there, whatta joke this whole fucking sport is.

    Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
    • Ben Folds' Nuts Aug 31,2014 1:18 pm || Up

      Two of the “balls” to Freese were strikes last night.

  19. lenscrafters Aug 31,2014 1:18 pm

    Oh look, Aybar again.

    Nice throw, not Cespedes.

  20. bear88 Aug 31,2014 1:19 pm

    Sigh. I guess the game is over.

  21. Ben Folds' Nuts Aug 31,2014 1:21 pm

    • Soaker Aug 31,2014 1:23 pm || Up

      A’S FANS SHOULD NOT USE PANDAS IN MEMES

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
      • Ben Folds' Nuts Aug 31,2014 1:25 pm || Up

        What?

        Oh, right. The Giants. I forgot about them. They still exist, huh? Oh well. Fuck ’em, they don’t own pandas.

  22. mother pucker Aug 31,2014 1:22 pm

    Sure looks as if Kazmire is getting squeezed on anything borderline.

    • lenscrafters Aug 31,2014 1:23 pm || Up

      Had him struck out on the 2-2 pitch. But it was too far from the glove.

    • Ben Folds' Nuts Aug 31,2014 1:26 pm || Up

      I think the umpire is just a fucking idiot. Strike two to Beckham was farther inside than ball one.

  23. lenscrafters Aug 31,2014 1:24 pm

    Kazmir’s pretty close to getting ejected.

    • Soaker Aug 31,2014 1:25 pm || Up

      Yeah, you have to maintain your professionalism and he’s having a tough time with that.

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
      • Ben Folds' Nuts Aug 31,2014 1:27 pm || Up

        Fuck professionalism. What’s the point of trying to stay in the game if the umpire is going out of his way to fuck you over?

      • Glorious Mundy Aug 31,2014 1:27 pm || Up

        This might be a good day for Melvin to take an ejection.

        • Soaker Aug 31,2014 1:29 pm || Up

          That would be fine, but you’d like Kazmir to throw his 100 pitches and not chew up 6 innings of bullpen work.

          What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
          • Glorious Mundy Aug 31,2014 1:29 pm || Up

            Right. I mean Melvin should take it for him.

            • Glorious Mundy Aug 31,2014 1:35 pm || Up

              Well, he took it, but not exactly the way I had planned.

  24. bear88 Aug 31,2014 1:25 pm

    Where did that first pitch to Beckham miss?

    • Ben Folds' Nuts Aug 31,2014 1:28 pm || Up

      It was inside, but strike two was even farther inside.

  25. MikeV Aug 31,2014 1:25 pm

    ball 1 to beckham coudlnt have been any more down the fucking middle

    And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

    Thanks, and go As.

  26. nowBodhi Aug 31,2014 1:25 pm

    This is an atrocity. He is posing after every pitch and the umpire is enjoying calling them balls. CLICK.

    Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
  27. witchy Aug 31,2014 1:28 pm

    so glad it’s the last day of august. /eeyore

  28. MikeV Aug 31,2014 1:28 pm

    Somebody posted a brooks baseball thing during a game once. I wish I could figure out how to do that. This zone is bullshit

    And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

    Thanks, and go As.

    • andeux Aug 31,2014 1:31 pm || Up


      That pitch down in the zone should have been strike three to Iannetta.
      Mostly he’s just missing though.

      TINSTAAFK
  29. lenscrafters Aug 31,2014 1:29 pm

    At least making a fucking attempt at framing those pitches, Norris.

    • Ben Folds' Nuts Aug 31,2014 1:30 pm || Up

      Why bother? The umpire knows what he’s going to call before the pitch is even released.

  30. mother pucker Aug 31,2014 1:30 pm

    This strike zone is bullshit, but was Fosse seriously trying to argue that ball four was a strike?

  31. bear88 Aug 31,2014 1:30 pm

    I’m OK if it’s a blowout loss. I don’t have to suffer.

    I would rather not have Kazmir get thrown out. He’s getting squeezed, badly in some instances, but he has to maintain his composure.

  32. lenscrafters Aug 31,2014 1:31 pm

    See you all next month.

  33. MikeV Aug 31,2014 1:31 pm

    big shock that it’s Gerry fucking Davis screwing over the A’s again.

    And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

    Thanks, and go As.

    • Ben Folds' Nuts Aug 31,2014 1:34 pm || Up

      Gerry Davis once ejected Scott Kazmir while he was throwing a no-hitter.

      • Glorious Mundy Aug 31,2014 1:34 pm || Up

        Oh shit, this is the same guy?!

        • dmoas Aug 31,2014 1:36 pm || Up

          Seriously. MLB needs to take a real close look at him wrt Kaz.

        • andeux Aug 31,2014 1:36 pm || Up

          In 2004, for hitting someone after warnings were issued.
          Kazmir’s ejection this year was Jerry Layne.

          TINSTAAFK
        • Soaker Aug 31,2014 1:36 pm || Up

          Jerry Layne ejected him in Cleveland this year. I’m not familiar with a prior Davis incident.

          What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
          • Future Ed Aug 31,2014 1:43 pm || Up

            didn’t laybe kick him out in the playoffs?

            I have $5. No I don\'t.
            • Bed Aug 31,2014 1:45 pm || Up

              Laybe he did, laybe he didn’t.

              But seriously, folks...
            • Ben Folds' Nuts Aug 31,2014 2:00 pm || Up

              Layne had a shitty strike zone during a Kazmir playoff start, Kazmir commented on it after the game, Layne has been fucking with him every chance he’s had ever since.

  34. bear88 Aug 31,2014 1:31 pm

    Well, I guess you have to pull him. But this puts the team in bad shape for tomorrow.

    And tomorrow’s game is what matters.

    • 5Aces Aug 31,2014 1:48 pm || Up

      Save the bullpen. Forfeit.

      Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
  35. Glorious Mundy Aug 31,2014 1:33 pm

    Current MLB headline:

    With a four-game lead, the Halos send Matt Shoemaker — winner of four consecutive starts — to sweep the A’s.

    Not to “try” to sweep the A’s, to sweep the A’s. Can’t really argue with it.

    • Bed Aug 31,2014 1:35 pm || Up

      There is no try…only do.

      But seriously, folks...
    • 5Aces Aug 31,2014 1:37 pm || Up

      They knew Davis was behind the plate.

      Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
  36. dmoas Aug 31,2014 1:35 pm

    For some reason I thought this was a night game. Looks. Click.

  37. bear88 Aug 31,2014 1:35 pm

    Melvin ejected. He doesn’t want to watch the game either.

    Big worry is Kazmir at this point. He’s turned into a pumpkin.

    • dmoas Aug 31,2014 1:48 pm || Up

      He’d better explode when they get back in the clubhouse after this atrocity.

  38. Soaker Aug 31,2014 1:35 pm

    I’m in favor of letting Callaspo pitch the final 6 innings.

    What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
  39. Glorious Mundy Aug 31,2014 1:37 pm

    mlb.tv died and I ain’t even mad.

  40. andeux Aug 31,2014 1:38 pm

    FK August.

    TINSTAAFK
  41. Bed Aug 31,2014 1:39 pm

    Boy, a lot of FKers are clicking today. It’s good when you’re firing on all cylinders.

    But seriously, folks...
  42. MikeV Aug 31,2014 1:39 pm

    I’m done watching this fucking joke of a team. Later.

    And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

    Thanks, and go As.

  43. Glorious Mundy Aug 31,2014 1:39 pm

    Mercy TOOTBLAN

  44. Soaker Aug 31,2014 1:39 pm

    When the A’s get hot the last couple weeks of the season, win the wild card game and then storm through the postseason at 11-1 we’re going to laugh at how hideous this series was.

    What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
  45. Future Ed Aug 31,2014 1:40 pm

    six runs, three hits

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • Bed Aug 31,2014 1:43 pm || Up

      When you come to a fork in the road…take it.

      But seriously, folks...
      • dmoas Aug 31,2014 1:52 pm || Up

        I’m holding out for the spoon.

        • Bed Aug 31,2014 1:54 pm || Up

          It’s VORF when it comes to soup is off the charts.

          But seriously, folks...
  46. bear88 Aug 31,2014 1:43 pm

    I fear the psychological devastation of this series will linger. This is a four-game sweep, establishing the Angels as the superior team, ending in what looks to be total humiliation. If the A’s can limp into the play-in game and win that, they will probably face… the Angels.

    Now I know what you’ll say. Remember when the A’s beat the stuffings out of the Tigers last summer? So maybe I’m overreacting. But this is going to mess with their heads. The A’s have no confidence. Can they avoid a total collapse that would leave them out of the play-in game? That possibility never seriously crossed my mind before. It does now.

    • Bed Aug 31,2014 1:45 pm || Up

      A place to overreact is what blogs were created for. Let it all out is what I say.

      But seriously, folks...
    • Glorious Mundy Aug 31,2014 1:47 pm || Up

      This series is an unfortunate coincidence of the A’s at their worst and the Angels at their best. I fully expect the A’s to go on a nice September run after they get the F out of this series and comfortably lock up the home WC game.

      • Future Ed Aug 31,2014 1:50 pm || Up

        september also allows the 30 person roster that the A’s are made for. this one difference will flip at least two losses to wins

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
      • Ben Folds' Nuts Aug 31,2014 2:02 pm || Up

        Angels at their best? Hardly. Angels at their slightly-above-mediocre.

          • Bed Aug 31,2014 2:05 pm || Up

            Yeah, if this is the Angels at their slightly-above-mediocre, we’re fucked.

            But seriously, folks...
            • Ben Folds' Nuts Aug 31,2014 2:07 pm || Up

              It is. Their pitchers have been the beneficiaries of a horrendously scuffling opponent. Any other contending team probably wins the first three games.

              • Bed Aug 31,2014 2:14 pm || Up

                Okie-dokie.

                But seriously, folks...
                • Soaker Aug 31,2014 2:21 pm || Up

                  I actually do agree with Mr. Nuts (yes, it can happen) that the story of this series has been much more about Athletics suck rather than Angels domination. In particular, Trout and Calhoun logged 2 singles in 27 plate appearances in the first three games, and winning a game when you have to substitute 8 relievers for Garrett Richards is just silly.

                  What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
                • Bed Aug 31,2014 2:25 pm || Up

                  15-4 speaks for itself.

                  But seriously, folks...
                • Ben Folds' Nuts Aug 31,2014 2:26 pm || Up

                  They’ve been playing a lot of bad teams.

                • Soaker Aug 31,2014 2:29 pm || Up

                  I was talking about this series only, but sure, the Red Sox were an embarrassment in their own park last week.

                  What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
          • Future Ed Aug 31,2014 2:05 pm || Up

            really, if they were at their best, they would be 17-1 not 14-4

            I have $5. No I don\'t.
        • Soaker Aug 31,2014 2:05 pm || Up

          Yeah, in this series, after that first night with the blown obstruction call, the A’s have been defeated by the time “rockets’ red glare” is sung.

          What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
        • 5Aces Aug 31,2014 5:19 pm || Up

          The3y just set a team record for August wins. It may be hitting every team at just the right moment or it may be they are playing really good. But either of those should not last for another month.

          Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
    • Soaker Aug 31,2014 1:49 pm || Up

      They were never as good as they looked at times before the All-Star Break when the run differential was plus a zillion, but neither are they anywhere near as bad as we’ve seen the last few weeks and one would hope culminating with the current disaster. Chances at the division are obviously pretty dim, but if they get things straightened out over the next month and get a break in the wild card game, that’s a hell of a rotation with enough offense to go well into October.

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
      • Bed Aug 31,2014 1:53 pm || Up

        Honestly, I’ve been confused all year how they were winning as much as they have. I’m also confused about when you should write “effect” or “affect”.

        But seriously, folks...
  47. Bed Aug 31,2014 1:49 pm

    I haven’t seen this many people leave a place so quickly since the debut of my one man play about the life of William Henry Harrison.

    But seriously, folks...
    • Glorious Mundy Aug 31,2014 1:51 pm || Up

      That’s because you had the air conditioning cranked up so high and no one was allowed to wear a coat.

      • Bed Aug 31,2014 1:53 pm || Up

        Well, I sweat a lot. I’m half Nixon.

        But seriously, folks...
    • East Bay Evans Aug 31,2014 1:51 pm || Up

      He’s no Taft.

    • Future Ed Aug 31,2014 1:52 pm || Up

      GET OFF THE STAGE!

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
  48. Bed Aug 31,2014 1:51 pm

    Well, I was going to say it can’t get any worse but I think I’ll wait until the team plane lands first.

    But seriously, folks...
    • Soaker Aug 31,2014 7:57 pm || Up

      Sadly, it occurred to me to check. They made it.

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
  49. bear88 Aug 31,2014 1:52 pm

    Relevant games for the A’s:

    Tigers losing 6-2 to the White Sox (good for the A’s, who lead Detroit by 4 games)
    Nationals lead Mariners 2-0 in the third (good for the A’s, who lead Seattle by 5 1/2)
    Cleveland faces Kansas City tonight (Royals tied with Tigers for first in AL Central, Cleveland down 3 1/2)

    • Future Ed Aug 31,2014 1:56 pm || Up

      cleveland KC on espn? did they lose a lawsuit or something? Weren’t they at the colisum last week?

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
      • Bed Aug 31,2014 2:03 pm || Up

        I’ll watch that game if both George Brett and Willie Mays Hayes play.

        But seriously, folks...
  50. Bed Aug 31,2014 1:57 pm

    I would have disliked this trade if the prospect was named Nolan Sunburn.

    But seriously, folks...
    • Glorious Mundy Aug 31,2014 1:59 pm || Up

      Nolan Sanburn anagrams to “anal born nuns”

      • Bed Aug 31,2014 2:02 pm || Up

        That was the name of my band when I was at KU. I played bASS.

        But seriously, folks...
  51. Bed Aug 31,2014 2:00 pm

    I think we should go back to talking about Linguica.

    But seriously, folks...
    • andeux Aug 31,2014 2:03 pm || Up

      The A’s hitters are swinging like their bats are made of linguiça … nope, that’s not helping.

      TINSTAAFK
  52. bear88 Aug 31,2014 2:02 pm

    First of all, I hate the play-in game and was relieved the A’s didn’t have to deal with it during the past two years. (The only redeeming feature is that it places a premium on winning the division, which is a good thing.)

    Play-in games are crapshoots, with the only variable favoring a team with a hot starter who’s available to pitch then.

    Of the play-in opponents, the alternatives…

    Detroit – worst option, Scherzer, with Price out of the pen, or Verlander.
    Seattle – second worst. King Felix. Can get his pitch count up, and he’s less effective. But he owns the A’s.
    Kansas City – second best. Good starters, if they’re available, but less scary against Lester
    Cleveland – best option. Nobody as good as Lester. But they might be really hot.

    • Glorious Mundy Aug 31,2014 2:04 pm || Up

      Should we include the Yankees? Because yes please.

      • bear88 Aug 31,2014 2:10 pm || Up

        No, because the Yankees aren’t making it. And if they do, the season will end with a play-in loss to the Yankees. And the odes to Derek Jeter will never end.

        • Bed Aug 31,2014 2:13 pm || Up

          I have too many bad memories from past Yankees series to want those bastards to make it in. I’ll take the Royals first and then the Indians. I don’t want Detroit or Seattle.

          But seriously, folks...
        • harensheir15 Sep 7,2014 9:55 am || Up

          This is the wildcard scenario I’m rooting for.
          Scars from the past still remain so I understand your point. But that’s exactly what would make hosting Jeter’s final game so delicious. The last laugh, so to speak.

    • Soaker Aug 31,2014 2:49 pm || Up

      I love the play-in game compared to the old system where the single wild card team was basically a fourth division winner. Your “only redeeming feature” is exactly the feature that makes it great.

      But yeah, that’s going to be a gut-wrenching three and a half hours.

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
      • mikeA Aug 31,2014 6:03 pm || Up

        It’s awful. A one game playoff in baseball is a joke that ignores one of the primary features of the sport.

        • Soaker Aug 31,2014 6:27 pm || Up

          No. You win your division over the 162-game test, you’re in. You don’t win your division, fuck you, here’s a lottery ticket.

          Ideally, if MLB expands to 32 teams, you have 8 4-team divisions, lots of intradivision play, no wild cards. That would probably lead to a lot of runaways though, which television wouldn’t like.

          What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
          • mikeA Aug 31,2014 6:41 pm || Up

            Divisions are arbitrary, and other sports don’t put much stock in them because it’s ridiculous (and unfair beyond any dispute) to do so. 8 four team divisions would be even worse, just a farce. There would be sub-.500 teams making the playoffs, while high 90-100 wins teams missed the playoffs. Complete joke.

            The A’s have a good shot to have the second best record in MLB, which they also did in 2001 and did not win the division. That’s a pretty good showing in the 162 game test. Why “fuck you” because the team with the best record happens to be in the same division?

            All that aside, no matter what structure they use, a one game playoff is an abomination in baseball.

            • dmoas Aug 31,2014 6:51 pm || Up

              Playing nearly 50% of your games against your own division and similar interleague schedules, completely different from the rest of the league, make it less arbitrary. I’d worry about a sub-.500 division winner, but you can get around that by requiring an x number of games over .500 to qualify else a wild card takes your place. But I don’t think we have anything to worry about wrt to a 32 team league any time soon.

            • Future Ed Aug 31,2014 7:46 pm || Up

              I don’t expect the one game payoff to last after the yankees or red sox have the 2nd best record and are eliminated by the Royals or something.

              My two proposals: 1) three best records in Divsion series, Division winner gets automatic bid in play in game (in this scenario one of texas or baltiomre is in the divisoin series and the other plays the tigers)

              and or

              the lower seed has to win 2 games. if they don’t their out. if high seed wins the first wildcard game, its over. If not, they play again. if the high seed wins, its over

              I have $5. No I don\'t.
              • dmoas Aug 31,2014 8:06 pm || Up

                I like the one and done scenario for the wild card because of the importance of the division, but I wouldn’t be opposed to a best of three with the top wild card being gifted a game to start.

          • Kay Temple Kirk Sep 1,2014 7:36 am || Up

            I personally would end playoffs altogether if it was up to me.

            Worrying about getting to the playoffs or being stressed while in the playoffs takes a lot of fun out of the season.

            \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
  53. Glorious Mundy Aug 31,2014 2:03 pm

    Most of me wants the A’s to score. Part of me wants to see how far they can take this.

    • bear88 Aug 31,2014 2:06 pm || Up

      No, I want them to score. They need it for their psyches.

  54. bear88 Aug 31,2014 2:04 pm

    Dunn is only 34? And he’s going to retire after the season? Is he independently wealthy?

    • Ben Folds' Nuts Aug 31,2014 2:06 pm || Up

      Aren’t most baseball players independently wealthy? I mean if they’re saving their money and investing wisely?

      • bear88 Aug 31,2014 2:08 pm || Up

        Well, yes. But there’s wealthy and there’s wealthy. Most of these guys aren’t going to earn this kind of paycheck after retirement ever.

        • Ben Folds' Nuts Aug 31,2014 2:09 pm || Up

          Who needs to? Give me three million bucks, I’ll make it last the rest of my life.

          • Future Ed Aug 31,2014 2:17 pm || Up

            not with kids

            I have $5. No I don\'t.
            • Bed Aug 31,2014 2:19 pm || Up

              So far it seems like they cost about a million bucks each. By the time they get to college I hope my wife’s second husband can pay for them.

              But seriously, folks...
        • East Bay Evans Aug 31,2014 2:11 pm || Up
    • MikeV Aug 31,2014 2:16 pm || Up

      He’s made around $100M I think he’s doing OK.

      And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

      Thanks, and go As.

      • Bed Aug 31,2014 2:20 pm || Up

        Yeah, but taxes and whatnot.

        But seriously, folks...
  55. Ben Folds' Nuts Aug 31,2014 2:04 pm

    I bet Donaldson could steal home, from first, on defensive indifference.

  56. mother pucker Aug 31,2014 2:05 pm

    I am most interested to see how many innings the offense can go without scoring.

    • Soaker Aug 31,2014 2:08 pm || Up

      Seems like any time they get runners on, it’s “Now batting, Alberto Callaspo!!”

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
      • Bed Aug 31,2014 2:10 pm || Up

        I can never keep up…do we hate Callaspo more than Sogard or Punto now? I like to keep it simple and just continue hating Barton.

        But seriously, folks...
        • Ben Folds' Nuts Aug 31,2014 2:11 pm || Up

          Callaspo has been worse than Punto lately, because Punto has not been playing. So thanks, Punto.

      • Ben Folds' Nuts Aug 31,2014 2:10 pm || Up

        AlbertOH-FOR-SEVENTY CallaspOH-FUCK-IT’S-THIS-GUY

  57. Ben Folds' Nuts Aug 31,2014 2:06 pm

    Oh good, it’s Alberto fuckface Callaspo

    • Ben Folds' Nuts Aug 31,2014 2:08 pm || Up

      Is there a reason Tyler Ladendorf isn’t playing instead of Callaspo?

      • Glorious Mundy Aug 31,2014 2:10 pm || Up

        He’s injured.

        • Ben Folds' Nuts Aug 31,2014 2:12 pm || Up

          Seriously? He played on Friday. Good fuckin grief, everyone in this organization is injured. Billy Beane probably has a sprained deal-for-a-fucking-second-baseman muscle.

  58. Ben Folds' Nuts Aug 31,2014 2:14 pm

    Vince is almost vocally hoping Trout hits a home run.

  59. Ben Folds' Nuts Aug 31,2014 2:16 pm

    Oh good, Jason Hammel’s pitching tomorrow. Two days after that we face King Felix. We may never win again.

    • bear88 Aug 31,2014 2:20 pm || Up

      The A’s wouldn’t want to pitch a consistently effective left-handed starter on turn against the Mariners. They’re determined to save face on Hammel.

      • Ben Folds' Nuts Aug 31,2014 2:21 pm || Up

        Maybe Billy has just decided fuck the postseason, let’s set a record for most spectacular collapse in baseball history.

        • Glorious Mundy Aug 31,2014 2:22 pm || Up

          That would explain all the ex Cubs and Red Sox.

          • Soaker Aug 31,2014 2:24 pm || Up

            Need to fire Melvin and hire the corpse of Gene Mauch to manage the final month.

            What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
            • Bed Aug 31,2014 2:28 pm || Up

              I hear he comes cheap these days.

              But seriously, folks...
        • MikeV Aug 31,2014 2:23 pm || Up

          They’re not even close to that.

          But still

          And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

          Thanks, and go As.

  60. bear88 Aug 31,2014 2:18 pm

    Nice job by Chavez getting out of trouble.

  61. Ben Folds' Nuts Aug 31,2014 2:20 pm

    Sogard, Parrino, and Fuld. A real murderer’s row.

  62. Future Ed Aug 31,2014 2:20 pm

    naturally

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • Ben Folds' Nuts Aug 31,2014 2:21 pm || Up

      Where’s Bo Porter to tell a guy to go back to shortstop when you need him?

    • Bed Aug 31,2014 2:22 pm || Up

      Nope…I actually color my hair.

      But seriously, folks...
  63. bear88 Aug 31,2014 2:22 pm

    1949 – the last time the A’s got shut out three straight games by the same opponent

    So we’re talking history here, maybe.

  64. Bed Aug 31,2014 2:23 pm

    Laybe I’m Amazed…the new hit single from Saul McCartney. With lyrics by Ed.

    But seriously, folks...
  65. bear88 Aug 31,2014 2:31 pm

    Does the play-in game count as the playoffs? Or is it just a play-in game to get into the playoffs?

    What kind of a T-shirt does that make?

    • Glorious Mundy Aug 31,2014 2:32 pm || Up

      We Own the Stress

    • Soaker Aug 31,2014 2:35 pm || Up

      Statistically, the wild card game is a postseason game. When you have games to resolve ties after Game 162, those are regular season games.

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
    • East Bay Evans Aug 31,2014 2:37 pm || Up

      TB made a flag. I can only hope we won’t create one if we end up in the WC game.

      • Bed Aug 31,2014 2:42 pm || Up

        All 27 Rays fans were pumped for that flag.

        But seriously, folks...
      • Glorious Mundy Aug 31,2014 2:43 pm || Up

        That flag is probably in play under the ground rules there.

    • Ben Folds' Nuts Aug 31,2014 2:47 pm || Up

      To me it’s never counted as the playoffs.

      • bear88 Aug 31,2014 2:51 pm || Up

        I don’t care what they call it. A one-game playoff just determines the Wild Card team. The play-in game loser isn’t a real playoff team.

  66. Bed Aug 31,2014 2:35 pm

    Just remember…it ain’t over til it’s over…and it’s never too early to start saving for retirement.

    But seriously, folks...
  67. bear88 Aug 31,2014 2:42 pm

    Mariners take the lead on an Ackley three-run homer. 4-3 Seattle.

  68. Soaker Aug 31,2014 3:04 pm

    I feel really bad for anybody who traveled from the Bay Area to Anaheim and made this their big out-of-town A’s trip for the year. Those trips can be tons of fun, but man…

    What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
  69. Glorious Mundy Aug 31,2014 3:04 pm

    “All the things that are right about baseball, though, are in Mike Trout” – Vince

    And if that’s not enough, that followed on the heels of an inexplicable Derek Jeter comp.

  70. bear88 Aug 31,2014 3:04 pm

    It’s cute that Glen and Ray are talking as if the A’s have a chance to win the division.

    New reality, guys. The goal is the play-in game.

  71. bear88 Aug 31,2014 3:15 pm

    It’s a great and glorious moment! A run! Angels fans boo.

  72. Glorious Mundy Aug 31,2014 3:15 pm

    [sarcastic clap]

  73. bear88 Aug 31,2014 3:17 pm

    So is Boyhood worth seeing?

    • East Bay Evans Aug 31,2014 3:25 pm || Up

      Critics seem to really adore it. 99%/90% on RT.

      • bear88 Aug 31,2014 3:29 pm || Up

        Wife skeptical even though she liked the Before series, daughter doesn’t want to go.

        • East Bay Evans Aug 31,2014 3:35 pm || Up

          I have to admit I’m not really very familiar with Linklater’s stuff in general. That said, from what friends have told me, the film is enjoyable and engaging.

          Though it might have some aimless qualities given its subject.

    • colin Sep 1,2014 4:55 pm || Up

      Emphatic yes.

  74. Bed Aug 31,2014 3:26 pm

    It was nice chatting with you folks. I’ll try and check back in once the playoffs start. Keep your heads up and go A’s!

    But seriously, folks...
  75. Glorious Mundy Aug 31,2014 3:26 pm

    Pour it on, Angels. IDGAF. Pain don’t hurt.

  76. bear88 Aug 31,2014 3:31 pm

    Moss needs to sit. I realize that the whole team needs to sit. But Moss seems the most hopeless of all. He needs a mental health/get your head together day.

  77. Soaker Aug 31,2014 3:33 pm

    Thank goodness. Have a nice flight, gentlemen.

    What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
  78. Glorious Mundy Aug 31,2014 3:39 pm

    • mother pucker Aug 31,2014 3:46 pm || Up

      Oh good, that will fix things.

    • Soaker Aug 31,2014 3:46 pm || Up

      Samardzija: You suck, Sogard.
      Sogard: Moss sucks more than me.
      Everybody: CALLASPO SUCKS!!

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
  79. bear88 Aug 31,2014 3:47 pm

    And it’s a long meeting, Slusser just added.

    I don’t know what can be said. Chewing them out seems counterproductive. A players’ meeting… whatever.

    • Glorious Mundy Aug 31,2014 3:52 pm || Up

      Sounds like Melvin lit into them a little.

    • dmoas Aug 31,2014 4:10 pm || Up

      I honestly don’t think it can be understated the impact a mild mannered person of authority can be when they explode on them.

      • bear88 Aug 31,2014 4:17 pm || Up

        As Melvin is not a hothead, is known as a calm player’s manager and has seemed very respected, it may have more of an impact.

        Trying harder doesn’t get players out of hitting slumps, though.

        • dmoas Aug 31,2014 4:34 pm || Up

          Totally agree. But I also don’t think it’s necessarily “trying harder” that’s there problem. They all know what their individual problems are (Callapso!!!) and some even know the solution, but sometimes having it said from someone in the proper manner (an ass chewing) helps to set it in motion. Which isn’t to say it’s a guarantor.

  80. bear88 Aug 31,2014 3:52 pm

    Slusser has Melvin says the team should be “embarrassed” and feels bad for the fans.

    • 5Aces Aug 31,2014 5:23 pm || Up

      They lollygag to first base…they lollygag the ball back to the infield…

      Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
  81. bear88 Aug 31,2014 3:55 pm

    Townsend and Roberts are still talking about the Angels, as if they have a chance to catch them. An all-out collapse and missing the play-in game is a more realistic possibility.

  82. nowBodhi Aug 31,2014 4:01 pm

    The low point of 14 years of passion for me. Trying not to shit so bad you all pass an Eeyore-pooper-scooper law. This feels like the end of this run. I really don’t have words to describe everything I feel right now, it’s like my life as an A’s fan is flashing before my eyes or something.

    Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
  83. bear88 Aug 31,2014 4:02 pm

    Melvin’s meeting. He did all the talking. Watched the game on TV, which he said was “different.” “It’s embarrassing. They all should be embarrassed.” He cut off the interview when asked about effort level. “I’m done.”

    I have never heard or seen him so angry.

    He sounds like… me.

    • nowBodhi Aug 31,2014 4:05 pm || Up

      LOVE that he could access the reality of the altered perspective of viewing on TV, as the majority of us do… and then voiced it from OUR point of view. NO ONE BREATHING on this Earth I’d rather have as our manager, NO ONE ALIVE.

      Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
      • dmoas Aug 31,2014 4:32 pm || Up

        I kind of figured today would be his last straw. Up until now there was a chance to continue to squeak their way into a better position. But dropping 5 games out and the whole lot of suck changes everything for this team. I think first place is still possible, but no way that happens without this team getting their shit together and more. Melvin getting tossed and having to watch this shit from the clubhouse, listen to the commentary, it sort of sets things in an external perspective. *This* had better be rock bottom. Otherwise their season is done.

        • nowBodhi Aug 31,2014 5:33 pm || Up

          As they say in New Orleans, “Yeah, you right.”

          This feels like the lowpoint of the whole time I’ve been into this, 14 years. I dunno what to say except I’m not giving up.

          Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
          • dmoas Aug 31,2014 6:53 pm || Up

            Totally understandable. Glad you’re not giving up. Though man is it difficult to deal with right now.

  84. bear88 Aug 31,2014 4:18 pm

    Mariners win, cut the deficit behind the A’s and Tigers.

    • Glorious Mundy Aug 31,2014 4:21 pm || Up

      I’m still not worried about the A’s falling behind the Mariners and the Tigers and the Royals (or the Indians). I would like to avoid playing the Wild Card game on the road.

      • bear88 Aug 31,2014 4:24 pm || Up

        So would I, given their current inability to win at all on the road. But I’m not assuming anything – including making the play-in game at all. Many teams have collapsed, and the A’s current injuries have them quite vulnerable.

        • dmoas Aug 31,2014 4:35 pm || Up

          If they play like they have the last two weeks, they’re toast.

      • mikeA Aug 31,2014 6:06 pm || Up

        I’m ok with not sitting in the stadium watching them them lose 2-0…

  85. Glorious Mundy Aug 31,2014 4:52 pm

    WHUT

    • bear88 Aug 31,2014 5:01 pm || Up

      I’ve never heard of such a thing.

      I don’t know if Davis was way out of line, or if the A’s were foolish to lodge a complaint about an umpire making a face when he was going to be calling balls and strikes today.

    • MikeV Aug 31,2014 5:08 pm || Up

      Unprofessional piece of shit.

      And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

      Thanks, and go As.

    • witchy Aug 31,2014 5:15 pm || Up

      ummmm…wtf???

    • dmoas Aug 31,2014 5:24 pm || Up

      Clearly not reprimanded enough. What a POS.

    • 5Aces Aug 31,2014 5:31 pm || Up

      How can the league reprimand him and let him call Balls and Strikes the next day? I am SHOCKED that a series of “judgement calls” went against us.

      Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
    • Soaker Aug 31,2014 5:35 pm || Up

      One of the first rules in a professional environment is “don’t be flippant”.

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
  86. Glorious Mundy Aug 31,2014 4:54 pm

    Ew

    • bear88 Aug 31,2014 5:02 pm || Up

      It’s pretty bad when Scioscia is just being polite.

  87. nowBodhi Aug 31,2014 5:36 pm

    I’m reading what Gomes said Dunn told him, and I am encouraged. This might turn out to be just the last minute thing this needs. No one currently breathing wants to play in October more than that guy, NO ONE. Longest tenured dude w/no playoff games. If Moss sees more fastballs again behind this guy, it might revert to sanity and work out. There is some shred of hope, anyways.

    I can’t help but have this deepseated feeling that this is all in the script, this epic tire fire of August. Like the part of Moneyball the First where the sportstalkers are all calling for Beane’s head and burying the team. It feels like that, anyway. Maybe I’m just reaching and we are amidst the most heartbreaking collapse of our lifetimes, I “dunno”. Maybe Dunn will.

    Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
    • 5Aces Aug 31,2014 5:50 pm || Up

      I keep thinking that. There is always the part of the movie where it all falls apart. If we had just kept cruising through Aug-Oct it would be a pretty boring story. This is where they have the montage where Moss talks at himself in the mirror, Norris does something different to his hair, Collapso retires for the good of the team (its my story DAMMIT!). And then they start to turn it around (“here we go again in Oakland! oh MYYYYY!”)

      Of course I also know that life isnt a movie and I could be whistling in the graveyard. But what am I gonna do, start flashing my cell phone and put a fucking fish hat on my head? As for me and my family, we are with the A’s. (about to take it back to 2012)

      #canwin #ourbad #allin #couldwemakeadealtonighttogetTravisbackfromKorea?

      Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
    • dmoas Aug 31,2014 6:56 pm || Up

      It does make for a good second act moment leading into third act and the climax. Running away with it all without a real low lacks that drama.

      • MikeV Aug 31,2014 7:33 pm || Up

        I don’t want drama, I want 162 games of domination and then a bunch of sweeps in the playoffs

        And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

        Thanks, and go As.

        • nowBodhi Aug 31,2014 8:32 pm || Up

          can’t have that… even the rich teams don’t get near that

          Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
        • Kay Temple Kirk Sep 1,2014 7:44 am || Up

          I went 173-0 in an MLB 2005 season once. It felt satisfying and right and as it should be.

          \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
          • Kay Temple Kirk Sep 1,2014 7:45 am || Up

            then again, there is the year we went 159-3 and lost to the Giants in the World Series. That was painful.

            \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
  88. Future Ed Sep 1,2014 7:50 am

    rabbit rabbit.

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
  89. Soaker Sep 1,2014 7:53 am

    If you can’t handle any more A’s baseball today, the River Cats and Reno Aces go at it at 1:05 at Raley Field in Game 144 of 144 of the regular season. The Aces lead the Pacific Northern Division by one game, but head-to-head record resolves a first place tie and the River Cats would get the tiebreaker, so it’s a winner-take-all game. I’m thinking Lowrie will be in Oakland today after going 1-for-5 last night in Sacramento, but the River Cats still can rely on Daric Barton’s veteran leadership in this critical game. Arnold Leon starts the decider for Sacramento. Potentially of course it is the River Cats’ final game as an Oakland affiliate.

    What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
  90. andeux Sep 1,2014 9:02 am

    Happy Nick Punto’s option may not vest day everyone.

    TINSTAAFK
    • Future Ed Sep 1,2014 9:55 am || Up

      happy will be “Won’t” day

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
  91. andeux Sep 1,2014 9:25 am

    Lowrie and Dunn in the lineup. Fernando Rodriguez, Bryan Anderson, and Billy Burns also added to the roster.

    TINSTAAFK
  92. oblique Sep 1,2014 10:15 am

    Does anyone want my tickets for today’s game? FK season tix, 123/15/10-11. My entire family is descending on the house, and I’ve spent most of the weekend out of the house.

    As much as I’d love to see Dunn’s debut and Lowrie’s return (and kick of September on a winning note) I’m going to have to let Korach and Cotroneo guide my imagery of the experience.

    If so, please email me at mthanawala (g mail).

  93. Glorious Mundy Sep 1,2014 11:20 am

    The Orioles broadcast is going deep on Melvin’s mad-as-hell-not-going-to-take-it-anymore speech.

    • Glorious Mundy Sep 1,2014 11:22 am || Up

      Their opinion: Cespedes trade bad.

      • dmoas Sep 1,2014 1:16 pm || Up

        My opinion: Stick to east coast baseball assholes who know jack shit about the west.

      • Future Ed Sep 1,2014 5:57 pm || Up

        well, when that is the only name you know on a team even though its your job to broadcast about baseball, that’s the kind of horse shit analysis you give.

        I have $5. No I don\'t.

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