My second favorite honky used to be Charles Nelson Reilly. Since he passed, I’ve left the position vacant.
\"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
Fun Fact: Didja know that at the time of his suicide, Cartoon Network was in talks with Villechaize to co-star in Space Ghost Coast to Coast as Space Ghost’s sidekick?
Fun Fact: Didja know that I can’t decide whether that would have been more less weird than the way the show ended up?
FK has convinced me that he won’t make the only move that desperately needs to be made: getting rid of Nick Punto. This has become the most depressing and persistent thought in my mind.
If I think about Nick Punto during sex I will go soft as melting ice cream and small as a dollar’s worth of stacked dimes, and I will then go into a Wal-Mart, punch out the clerk in the gun section, pick up a firearm, and shoot myself because the letdown from being at the climax of sex and then going all the way down to thinking about Nick Punto and the fact that he plays for the Oakland A’s is more pain than anyone can possibly endure.
I want to say thank you for this game thread, folks. It got me through a dark personal time as I recently found out I can no longer avoid the Noid…he’s found me and he wants my blood.
That’s where I was Saturday night, although I missed that exciting part of the game, either when I was in line at the lumpia and asparagus stand or while trying to find the fabled stall in the ladies’ room that had a functioning door closer. But I did get my official Sean Doolitte bobblehead. That’s what it says…Doolitte.
Okay, they’re two different stands, representing Stockton’s Filipino heritage and its best-known agricultural export. One sells lumpia along with about 25 other foods that you’d be more likely to find in a ballpark. The other sells deep-fried asparagus.
100+ degree weather in a state that has miserable heat is bullshit. I’m more than fine with them playing late today rather than have our players suffer through it for “tradition” or “expectation.”
watching the replay of yesterday’s real madrid / inter game at cal, on which is in ESPN spanish only sorry…
[they covered the artificial surface at cal with strips of real grass sod.]
—”it’s a shame to bring two teams like this to the united states, and with the number of stadiums that they have here, they have to play on turf conditions like like these.”
—[jokingly] “they even must have bought used grass. it’s all brown around the edges.”
*i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
Honestly I think we can beat just about any team in the American League in a short series or a long series this year. It’s that play-in game that could fuck us up. As long as we avoid the play-in game, I think we’re in the World Series.
I seriously don’t see how it’s possible for Beane to claim we’re all in this season if he doesn’t do something about our gaping hole in the middle of the infield.
It was neither the hot nor the cold, but rather the Tepesch that god spat out of his mouth.
I’ve been at that stadium on night’s like this…it’s a good way to lose 10 pounds of water weight.
I asked my wife if she wanted to watch the game? She asked if I wanted to die alone?
Neither of these are questions
Or are they.
(thinks about it)
Or are they?
(thinks about it)
They are not?
(thinks about it)
They are not.
“Neither” is singular.
Singular is demeaning to mulitples
It can be singular or plural, and there is nothing wrong with nm’s sentence other than violating a fake (and ridiculous) “rule” that someone made up.
they’re not questions if the answers are yes she does and no you don’t.
they’re definitely questions if the answers are yes you did and yes she did.
Stop swinging at balls you fkers.
I’m not OK with . first-pitch swinging.
I’m not okay with him batting.
Bad part of the order is bad.
Much like your sex this game thread is on fire.
Punto wasn’t even up long enough for me to be frustrated that he was getting an at bat.
Silver linings.
I guess the glass is half full.
I’d just like to say that Eric Sogard is the best part of Halt and Catch Fire.
It’s easy not to get caught stealing or picked off. Tell him, Wash…
So far I’ve gotten to see three Ron Washington commercials. I feel truly blessed.
Movies Made Better…Terry Bradshaw is The Godfather.
NOW LEMME TELL YA’LL. i’M GONNA DUN MAKE HIM AN OFFER HE CANT REFUSE.
Cliff Clavin is at the ballpark and he’s sweating.
Fact I just discovered: He played Major Derlin–the guy who says the shield doors must be closed–in Empire Strikes Back.
No way!
This has been infuriating.
Could be worse.
Glass…still half full.
draining…
Movies Made Better…Arnold Schwarzengger is The Fiddler on the Roof.
I don’t ever need to see that guy running with all the drinks again in my life. It actively makes me want to NOT get McDs flavored coffees.
I only go to McDonald’s for Egg McMuffins and blood transfusions.
McDonalds flavored coffees actively make me not want to get McDonalds flavored coffees.
Yup. All of them are like that. Just dumb.
It must be awful to work on the McDonald’s account at the ad agency. How the hell do we sell this crap?
Remember the prom ones?
How do you NOT sell this crap? Why aren’t McDonald’s commercials just “Hey everybody! Remember french fries and big macs? Buy some!”
Movies Made Better…Mariah Carey is The Iron Lady.
Bill King was right.
Don’t lead off with Punto…don’t leadoff with Punto…
With gladly eat crow on this if he gets on.
Sad that the left fielder can be positioned there.
He gets the Jason Kendall defense.
He should get the Rube Waddell treatment, the way Rube used to wave all his fielders into the dugout so he could strike out the side.
Adrian Beltre is good at baseball.
So far the highlight of the game for me is the Cliff Clavin interview.
Movies Made Better…Woody Allen is The Natural.
So, has anyone seen every A’s game this year? I mean besides me.
What’s the philosophy I live my life by? What would Ben Sheets do?
If this game doesn’t hurry up I’m going to miss the panel at Comic Con for Star Blazers.
Movies Made Better…Paul Reubens is The Wrestler.
Woot…go Keebs!
Human lawn dart into second base.
There it is!
About fucking time.
Catcher!
Please don’t bench Jaso tomorrow, BoMel.
And Cespy!
He needs to DH tomorrow. Vogt at first. Norris behind the plate and all will be good.
Yes, but I suspect he will be benched in favor of Reddick.
Home runs are fun.
Wut?
He’s my favorite honky.
Lazy fly balls aren’t so bad when they leave the yard.
Glass…half lazy.
We had a Andy Hawkins sighting.
He’s my second favorite honky.
My second favorite honky used to be Charles Nelson Reilly. Since he passed, I’ve left the position vacant.
He can be on your Honky Mount Rushmore.
this one made me laugh
Mr Gray, you may not receive any more runs so I suggest you not be stupid.
Fifty Shades of Gray
Kinky.
I work 3 days a week. Next week I am going to Chicago. Still, I don’t want to work tomorrow.
When you get to Chicago make sure you see Niagara Falls.
The sweat
runnyrunning down my boobs?I hear it’s a great spot for a honeymoon…or a motorboat.
Glass… half runny
Kind Bars are anything but.
In honor of Cliff Clavin the question to tonight’s Game Thread Jeopardy answer is…”Who are three people who’ve never been in my kitchen?”
Effectively wild!
I wonder if Jimmy Buffett ever found his lost shaker of salt?
Gray looked like he was gasping for air coming off the mound. Less than 90 pitches but he might be pretty well cooked.
The Bay Area weather has softened him.
That Dallas heat can take a lot out of you.
And if you keep pitching when you’re gassed something happens like what just happened to Tepesch.
They really should have built that place with a retractable roof. It can be a miserable place to see a game.
Movies Made Better…Herve’ Villechaize is The American President.
Fun Fact: Didja know that at the time of his suicide, Cartoon Network was in talks with Villechaize to co-star in Space Ghost Coast to Coast as Space Ghost’s sidekick?
Fun Fact: Didja know that I can’t decide whether that would have been more less weird than the way the show ended up?
Wow, thought that was pop fly to center.
No doubt about that one.
Much like Johnny Cash I’m dressed all in teal.
This is more like it.
Somehow we were unable to do this against Jerome Williams.
Home Run Derby has broken out.
Fortunately the A’s have Nick Punto to restore sanity to the proceedings.
Nick Punto: Where Home Runs Don’t Happen.
Nick Punto is like a political propaganda cartoon of a bad hitter.
Apparently, we’re unable to score runs in any other fashion.
Glass…half dinger
Then there’s no hope for this one.
wow i come home to Roxy? cool
Does Billy make a move at the deadline or does he stand pat?
FK has convinced me that he won’t make the only move that desperately needs to be made: getting rid of Nick Punto. This has become the most depressing and persistent thought in my mind.
Try thinking about sex.
…and if you need to get some uh…stamina during sex think about Nick Punto.
If I think about Nick Punto during sex I will go soft as melting ice cream and small as a dollar’s worth of stacked dimes, and I will then go into a Wal-Mart, punch out the clerk in the gun section, pick up a firearm, and shoot myself because the letdown from being at the climax of sex and then going all the way down to thinking about Nick Punto and the fact that he plays for the Oakland A’s is more pain than anyone can possibly endure.
I would love him to get rid of punto, but Not a snack brown lasted a whole year, so I expect punto will last 2
Not a Snack Brown…I like that for Emil Brown. It makes me want to say Reverse Ramon for Nomar.
and if you need some stamina during a reverse ramon….
A Nick Punto at bat is always a good time to get a sandwich, grab a beer…kill yourself.
A Nick Punto at bat is always a good time for a pinch hitter.
Punto brings us back to reality.
Outside of Nick Punto at bats and the upcoming season of Archer I really don’t have much to look forward to in life.
That pitcher’s name is Adcock. Not sure why I have the image of porn stars with temporarily tats in the vein of boxer and mma fighters.
That guy loves to go to bars and Adcock block his friends.
Not a fan of sticking with Gray here.
Yeah, this isn’t good.
stop walking rangers
I prefer Walker Texas Ranger.
This dated reference from the 1990’s was brought to you by Treat Williams’ TV career.
We were so poor growing up, we ate generic Spam. It was called Treat.
We were so middle class growing up we only rented a beach house for two weeks, during the summer, at Bodega Bay.
This has been another episode of Brian has had a really easy life. Brought to you by Honky’s.
Bikini Wax On…Bikini Wax Off…
What. The hell. Was that.
Bengie Molina is hard to miss, but Sogard somehow managed to get it past him.
A Callaspo preview
please get a competent middle infielder
What’s Walt Weiss up to these days?
Signaling to the bullpen when Brett Anderson gets hurt again.
Yeah, things aren’t going too well for him in Colorado it seems.
They fucked themselves not hiring Carney Lansford.
Eric. You were busy trying to stay on the team.
But thank you for pushing billy juuuust a little bit closer to jimmy rollins
It feels like I’ve been hearing Jimmy Rollins to Oakland rumors since 1987.
Made sense, since he lived in Alameda.
Good job, boys.
Dan’s the man.
Movies Made Better…Crispin Glover is Little Miss Sunshine.
This dated reference from the 2000’s is brought to you by Treat Williams’ Dinner Theater career.
Crispin Glover is still the best guest ever on Late Night.
“I’m strong! I can kick!”
He released a weird ass album back in 1989.
i say clowny clown clown to you sir.
Yeah, I thought about posting that video, but didn’t want to give nightmares to everyone on FK.
Cliff hasn’t passed up many beers since Cheers closed.
My plan when I retire is to lay on the beach and eat fried chicken.
His too.
It’ll be paradise in paradise.
oh come on
Catcher down!
What did Norris do to his hair?
Tigers can’t seem to figure out the not good Angels starters.
Shoemaker seems to be good, unfortunately.
Gregerson needs to wax that ‘stache.
‘stache wax on…’stache wax off…
Did Jaso get hit in the head?
Josh Donaldson’s tail is so 1986 cool.
Groin? I’m there.
Groin Alert! Call Durrty Gertie.
I thought that was gone.
I can already picture the Kotteras signing now.
He’s my 19,367,873rd favorite honky.
4 innings at 3rd, a 11 innings at 1st
How many innings at left winger?
I suppose Zooks is out of the question this time.
He’s once, twice, three times an Athletic.
Rays keep winning. This is good; I don’t want the Mariners to get Price or Zobrist.
Yeah but I want the A’s to get Zobrist.
Okay, I’m going to predict Doolittle’s next pitch…fastball.
yay!
Giants are now experiencing the Uggla defense
Doolittle’s pitch count was building up, but Suck Ass showed up in the nick of time.
And Rosales does what Rosales does.
A good rule of thumb…if you’re pinch hitting with Adam Rosales your team sucks.
The A’s win…thhhhhhhhheeeeeeee AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA””””””’sssssssssss WIN!
Good Thread…Gerald Ford’s still dead.
And you know what this means, folks. If we have a bad thread Gerald Ford will rise from the dead and feed on the living.
I want to say thank you for this game thread, folks. It got me through a dark personal time as I recently found out I can no longer avoid the Noid…he’s found me and he wants my blood.
Goddamnit Tigers what the ever-loving fuck?
this
Movies Made Better…Bette Midler is Rudy.
Goodnight and Alan Ruck.
ruck me? ruck HIM!!
That’s where I was Saturday night, although I missed that exciting part of the game, either when I was in line at the lumpia and asparagus stand or while trying to find the fabled stall in the ladies’ room that had a functioning door closer. But I did get my official Sean Doolitte bobblehead. That’s what it says…Doolitte.
Do tel.
Lumpia and asparagus stand?
Okay, they’re two different stands, representing Stockton’s Filipino heritage and its best-known agricultural export. One sells lumpia along with about 25 other foods that you’d be more likely to find in a ballpark. The other sells deep-fried asparagus.
as much as i want the tigers to win, LOL soria
Movies made better … Mel Gibson is Oskar Schindler.
I like it.
going on record to state that this start time on a sunday is bullshit.
100+ degree weather in a state that has miserable heat is bullshit. I’m more than fine with them playing late today rather than have our players suffer through it for “tradition” or “expectation.”
You really can’t play day baseball in Dallas in late July. Not only for the players but for the fans too.
git outta here with your logical logisticals. i needz my A’s-based entertainment when i needz it.
Yeah, well that’s why you don’t play baseball in Texas.
Going to Houston afterward isn’t so bad.
Retractable Roof Dome Sweet Retractable Roof Dome.
no stadium’s safe from a good #shaming.
watching the replay of yesterday’s real madrid / inter game at cal, on which is in ESPN spanish only sorry…
[they covered the artificial surface at cal with strips of real grass sod.]
—”it’s a shame to bring two teams like this to the united states, and with the number of stadiums that they have here, they have to play on turf conditions like like these.”
—[jokingly] “they even must have bought used grass. it’s all brown around the edges.”
*
onwhichWhat’s wrong with playing on grass of color?
stupid frikkin’ joba the chamberlain.
I loathe the Tigers.
They’re sticking it to us.
It is going to be very difficult to beat the Slegna in October.
The Tigers would be tougher in a playoff series.
Honestly I think we can beat just about any team in the American League in a short series or a long series this year. It’s that play-in game that could fuck us up. As long as we avoid the play-in game, I think we’re in the World Series.
Yeah, Mariners in a one game playoff would be much worse odds than any longer series. That would be incredibly annoying.
as long as felix pitches before the last series
Yeah, maybe they’ll have to use him to get into the play-in. Then they’d have to start Gil Heredia.
hopefully there will be a robust scrum at the end and Felix and Iwakuma have to pitch saturday and sunday or possible monday
GIF of the game:
SCRAPPY/GRITTY/ETC
Thanks, and go As.
I seriously don’t see how it’s possible for Beane to claim we’re all in this season if he doesn’t do something about our gaping hole in the middle of the infield.