Game 77: Take a bite out of Bartolo Colon! ← FREE KRAUT!

Game 77: Take a bite out of Bartolo Colon! 155

It’s the opener of a quick two-game series against the Mets at Bailout Field, and the A’s look to draw first blood by sinking their teeth into Bartolo’s thick neck the juicy meatballs served up by their former teammate.

Current Mets with A’s ties, in addition to Colon, include CY25 (who’s in the starting lineup in CF with the lefty pitching, though his overall 2014 line is an even-worse-than-Oakland .201/.284/.313), backup catcher Anthony Recker (.210/.257/.324) and bullpen lefty Dana Eveland (called up earlier this month, he’s given up just 4 hits and 1 walk in 8.1 innings over 8 appearances). Last and least, that will be bench coach Bob Geren whispering sour nothings in the ear of Mets manager Terry Collins.

For the A’s, it’s Coco CF, Donaldson 3B, Moss 1B, Cespedes LF, Vogt C, Lowrie SS, Reddick RF, Callaspo 2B, Kazmir* P.

*Get ready for Jeff Francis. Jerry Layne, who ejected Kazmir in Cleveland, draws the home plate umpiring assignment once again tonight.

155 thoughts on “Game 77: Take a bite out of Bartolo Colon!

  1. Future Ed Jun 24,2014 3:42 pm

    holy crap! jerry layne? what are the odds?

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • dmoas Jun 24,2014 3:46 pm || Up

      I hope Gray made it to NY for tonight’s game. He may be needed after all.

    • Ben Folds' Nuts Jun 24,2014 4:12 pm || Up

      And he’s already fucking us.

    • dmoas Jun 24,2014 4:15 pm || Up

      I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m only following this game because Jerry Layne is umping. I don’t even know who’s playing. I don’t even care. Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

  2. andeux Jun 24,2014 3:46 pm

    Colon is a terrible match-up for us – a fly ball pitcher who doesn’t walk anyone.
    Best bet might be to take an aggressive approach and hope to hit a couple balls out.

    TINSTAAFK
    • dmoas Jun 24,2014 3:48 pm || Up

      Can we cross our fingers that age has finally settled in?

    • Ben Folds' Nuts Jun 24,2014 4:09 pm || Up

      Maybe he’ll just pitch badly because he likes us.

  3. nevermoor Jun 24,2014 3:50 pm

    Sorry, only biting jokes allowed today refer to shoulders.

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  4. Future Ed Jun 24,2014 4:07 pm

    i forgot, no kk

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • Soaker Jun 24,2014 4:08 pm || Up

      Yes, Vince and Roxy have the entire road trip.

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
      • DFA Jun 24,2014 9:18 pm || Up

        I actually like Roxy.

        In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
        • FreeSeatUpgrade Jun 24,2014 9:34 pm || Up

          Me too. The problem is that he takes the Vince role, and Vince gets the six innings Korach usually gets. Yuck.

          "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
          • Future Ed Jun 25,2014 12:24 pm || Up

            I like roxy, won’t listen to vince for 6 innings. the mets guys were fun

            I have $5. No I don\'t.
  5. Ben Folds' Nuts Jun 24,2014 4:10 pm

    Mets broadcaster just referred to Colon’s “Caesar’s numbers,” trying to say “season’s numbers.”

    • dmoas Jun 24,2014 4:13 pm || Up

      With Ray, you’d never know if it was a mistake because he’d be still talking about how great the salad he had last night was and the dibs and the woh oh oh look at that, we have to get that up here and that looks good and wow I bet that tastes great and what were we talking about again?

  6. Ben Folds' Nuts Jun 24,2014 4:15 pm

    Wow, Joe West too? Fuck. This is gonna be a great series.

    • dmoas Jun 24,2014 4:17 pm || Up

      Where’s Angel? I bet he’s in NY doing the video reviews!

  7. Ben Folds' Nuts Jun 24,2014 4:16 pm

    Shift’d!

  8. Ben Folds' Nuts Jun 24,2014 4:17 pm

    Mets broadcaster pronounces it “Yoo-anus.” Seriously.

  9. Ben Folds' Nuts Jun 24,2014 4:18 pm

    Yoo-anus!

  10. Soaker Jun 24,2014 4:21 pm

    It’s an Ed Inning!! (21 pitches by Colon)

    What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
    • dmoas Jun 24,2014 4:23 pm || Up

      What does erectile dysfunction have to do with Colon throwing 21 pitches. Oh wait. Colon health. Penis health. I get! No, I don’t.

  11. James V. Jun 24,2014 4:23 pm

    Looks like Kazmir’s got some stuff on the left side of his neck.

    • dmoas Jun 24,2014 4:24 pm || Up

      He’s JerryBaiting.

      • dmoas Jun 24,2014 4:24 pm || Up

        Go on… touch it… HA HA! You touched my shit!!!

        • Ben Folds' Nuts Jun 24,2014 4:29 pm || Up

          Was the past participle really what you wanted there?

          • dmoas Jun 24,2014 4:32 pm || Up

            I don’t know what you’re talking about. [shifty eyes]

      • James V. Jun 24,2014 4:27 pm || Up

        What I saw:

        • dmoas Jun 24,2014 4:31 pm || Up

          If it’s anything and not just your screen, it look like a rash.

  12. Jennifer Jun 24,2014 4:29 pm

    That’s Bob Geren?

  13. Soaker Jun 24,2014 4:29 pm

    I’m glad to see the Mets have been withholding food from Geren.

    What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
  14. Ben Folds' Nuts Jun 24,2014 4:36 pm

    Oh right, interleague play in an NL ballpark.

  15. Ben Folds' Nuts Jun 24,2014 4:37 pm

    Whoa, look at Kazmir, making good contact.

    • Ben Folds' Nuts Jun 24,2014 4:38 pm || Up

      What do you guys think of putting Kazmir at second base on days he isn’t starting? Better than Punto? I say yes.

  16. lenscrafters Jun 24,2014 4:42 pm

    Kazmir has other pitches besides a fastball…

    • lenscrafters Jun 24,2014 4:44 pm || Up

      …which I guess are just as non-effective today.

  17. andeux Jun 24,2014 4:43 pm

    CFKinY? Ugh.

    TINSTAAFK
    • Soaker Jun 24,2014 4:45 pm || Up

      Right after the Mets radio announcers were speculating about CY25’s impending loss of employment too.

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
    • 5Aces Jun 24,2014 4:52 pm || Up

      Who moved this game to Houston and didn’t say anything?

      Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
      • Future Ed Jun 24,2014 6:41 pm || Up

        I saw this onn my phone and thought of you

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
  18. dmoas Jun 24,2014 4:45 pm

    WTF. I look away for less than 5 minutes and this happens? How could you??!!!

  19. Ben Folds' Nuts Jun 24,2014 4:47 pm

    Mets broadcaster, talking about a Met who’s on the cusp of being sent down, starts his sentence thusly: “When you don’t know if you belong…”

    Getting a little heavy for baseball commentary, I think.

    • dmoas Jun 24,2014 4:51 pm || Up

      A little heavy? Ha ha. Colon joke!

    • Glorious Mundy Jun 24,2014 4:54 pm || Up

      That’s not heavy. This is heavy.

      • DFA Jun 24,2014 9:22 pm || Up

        That is amazing… wow.

        In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
  20. Ben Folds' Nuts Jun 24,2014 4:51 pm

    Still saying yoo-anus.

    • dmoas Jun 24,2014 4:53 pm || Up

      Stop! Collaborate and listen. Caramel Ice is back with a brand addition…

  21. 5Aces Jun 24,2014 4:53 pm

    HEY GUYS…WHO WANTS MOAR RED SOX HIGHLIGHTS?!?!?!?!?!

    Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
    • dmoas Jun 24,2014 4:53 pm || Up

      OH I DO I DO NOT!

    • Ben Folds' Nuts Jun 24,2014 4:53 pm || Up

      Thankfully, the Strikeout.co feed is the Mets tonight, so I don’t have to watch the A’s broadcast talk about the Red Sox.

  22. Ben Folds' Nuts Jun 24,2014 4:53 pm

    OK, so if a hitter squares to bunt and pulls back, it’s considered a take, right? But how the fuck is that not “breaking the plane” or whatever dumb shit people use to justify calling a check-swing an actual swing?

    • dmoas Jun 24,2014 4:54 pm || Up

      You can pull the bat back before it crosses the plate. Otherwises it’s a swwwwwing.

      • Ben Folds' Nuts Jun 24,2014 4:58 pm || Up

        That’s my objection. If I check my swing, I have clearly pulled the bat back. Are you gonna go to the video replay to prove whether or not the ball had crossed the plate at the time? Why is a bunt given such leeway? I’ve seen guys not pull the bat back until the ball was almost hitting it, and still not get called.

        I just don’t think a swing should be a swing unless you swing. All the way. If you think better of it enough to not follow through, then you didn’t get fooled, you didn’t swing.

        • DFA Jun 24,2014 9:24 pm || Up

          The bunt should be called more strictly… its true. But in many cases, there isn’t an attempt to bunt even if it is held out for a while.

          In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
          • FreeSeatUpgrade Jun 24,2014 9:32 pm || Up

            Most guys set up far back enough in the batter’s box that their squared bunting stance does not cross the plate.

            "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • DFA Jun 24,2014 9:23 pm || Up

      Because its not considered a swing unless you make an attempt at the ball. A check swing is deemed when it is a strike to be an attempt at the ball.

      In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
  23. Soaker Jun 24,2014 4:56 pm

    That was rather Byrnesian.

    What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
  24. Ben Folds' Nuts Jun 24,2014 4:56 pm

    Eric Young almost fucks up a routine fly ball, salvages the catch, falls down…and pimps it?

  25. Ben Folds' Nuts Jun 24,2014 5:00 pm

    Classic pasta right there.

  26. Ben Folds' Nuts Jun 24,2014 5:00 pm

    Who gave the Mets permission to do this? Was it one of you?

  27. Ben Folds' Nuts Jun 24,2014 5:04 pm

    Mets’ broadcaster: “And now Granderson, who rankled a two-run homer his last time up.”

  28. Ben Folds' Nuts Jun 24,2014 5:06 pm

    Curtis Granderson almost got himself ejected there.

  29. Ben Folds' Nuts Jun 24,2014 5:07 pm

    Mets’ broadcaster sagely praising A’s catcher Stephen Voight.

    • Englishmajor Jun 24,2014 5:11 pm || Up

      They just want to make it more likely that Angelina Jolie will turn up at the next game.

    • AV Jun 24,2014 6:13 pm || Up

      is that the same voight? can we check the dental records?

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • colin Jun 24,2014 6:24 pm || Up

        The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over. But it can’t. Not without your help. But you’re not helping.

        • dmoas Jun 24,2014 6:26 pm || Up

          That’s because I too am laying on my back, my belly baking in the hot sun, beating my legs trying to turn myself over. But I can’t. Not without the tortoise’s help. But it’s not helping.

  30. 5Aces Jun 24,2014 5:09 pm

    He gets on 2 times in a row? He’s trolling me isnt he?

    Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
  31. lenscrafters Jun 24,2014 5:11 pm

    Well this sucks.

  32. 5Aces Jun 24,2014 5:12 pm

    I dont know why I think any of you would be Mets experts, but have they been doing towel stuff all year long, or are they mocking the HR tunnel?

    Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
    • Soaker Jun 24,2014 5:15 pm || Up

      Mets radio guys said something about that being their usual celebration, apparently created by Granderson.

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
  33. Jennifer Jun 24,2014 5:13 pm

    This escalated quickly.

    • 5Aces Jun 24,2014 5:14 pm || Up

      It jumped up a notch.

      Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
      • Poppy Jun 24,2014 8:33 pm || Up

        And nary a trident in sight.

        There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
  34. 5Aces Jun 24,2014 5:22 pm

    Ok, it sucks that we are losing. But I will admit it; I miss Bartolo and it is fun to see someone as old and big as me still out there dealing it.

    Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
  35. James V. Jun 24,2014 5:26 pm

    Raise your hand if you’re surprised Colon got a hit off Johnson.

    • Soaker Jun 24,2014 5:27 pm || Up

      Smart move, make him run the bases.

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
  36. 5Aces Jun 24,2014 5:27 pm

    I understand how double switches should work, but when you take out Lowrie for LNP1 when you are down by 6, that’s just wrong.

    Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
    • Soaker Jun 24,2014 5:33 pm || Up

      They have two scheduled off-days this week, and by conceding the game by letting Johnson and Francis finish that’s a third off-day for a heavily-used bullpen. I’m fine with tanking a game occasionally with the long view in mind.

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
  37. 5Aces Jun 24,2014 5:28 pm

    Ive never said this for my own pitcher, but JJ needs to throw a wild pitch right now just for the sight.

    Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
  38. Thunderbutt Jun 24,2014 5:39 pm

    I don’t know, I don’t think two games really makes a series. The only way to win the series is to sweep. It’s bogus.

    There is always a score.
  39. Soaker Jun 24,2014 5:44 pm

    Well…good for CY there.

    What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
  40. Glorious Mundy Jun 24,2014 5:49 pm

    Are we the Astros and is this Houston.

    • 5Aces Jun 24,2014 6:03 pm || Up

      Seeing JJ vs CY25 almost caused some sort of rift in the universe. If it had been Asshat Catching and Angel as the umpire I would have just left for the nearest bomb shelter.

      Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
      • Future Ed Jun 24,2014 6:53 pm || Up

        I think I would have enjoyed seeing a pike of 20 million burning singles.

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
        • Future Ed Jun 24,2014 6:53 pm || Up

          pile

          I have $5. No I don\'t.
          • 5Aces Jun 24,2014 8:27 pm || Up

            I like the idea of the pike even more.

            Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
  41. doctorK Jun 24,2014 6:05 pm

    I hope Jeff Francis is enjoying his last few days in an A’s uniform.

    • Soaker Jun 24,2014 6:14 pm || Up

      These last couple innings serve as a tryout for an August-September job with the Hiroshima Carp.

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
  42. AV Jun 24,2014 6:15 pm

    anybody see the emperor in the stands yet?

    *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  43. dmoas Jun 24,2014 6:24 pm

    We’re just setting up for 10 run top of the 9th.

  44. Soaker Jun 24,2014 6:27 pm

    The A’s have only given up double-digit runs twice this season, and they’ve been the last two game threads I’ve put up. So that’s up to you otherFKers for a while.

    What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
  45. Future Ed Jun 24,2014 6:54 pm

    man, that was bad. I am glad I went bowling

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
  46. Future Ed Jun 24,2014 7:33 pm

    twins have decided that outs are overrated against the Angels.

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
  47. FreeSeatUpgrade Jun 24,2014 8:50 pm

    Looks like Bartolo had us for second breakfast today.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  48. nowBodhi Jun 24,2014 9:46 pm

    I’ll think twice next time about coming 3500 miles if it’s just gonna be in-game BP.

    Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Jun 24,2014 10:18 pm || Up

      At least the airport’s right next door.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  49. Kay Temple Kirk Jun 25,2014 8:26 am

    Get ‘im, Billy!

    Huston Street would be a fine addition to this year’s pen.

    \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
    • Future Ed Jun 25,2014 12:25 pm || Up

      I think McCarthy would been good at the right

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • Ben Folds' Nuts Jun 25,2014 4:57 pm || Up

      Huston Street some some mean stuff about a good friend of Billy Beane’s.

  50. lenscrafters Jun 25,2014 12:26 pm

    • dmoas Jun 25,2014 12:34 pm || Up

      Smart Lad, that one.

    • Future Ed Jun 25,2014 12:36 pm || Up

      so fucking stupid.

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • Soaker Jun 25,2014 1:02 pm || Up

      To be clear about that, a “drug of abuse” is a recreational drug, not a PED.

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
      • dmoas Jun 25,2014 1:09 pm || Up

        I wish they had a better system for that. There should be multiple tiers with different punishments assessed. A Tier 1 would be a non-PED that they shouldn’t be using. A Tier 2 being a potential PED and/or believed to be an accidental usage. A Tier 3 for a true PED usage. Then these Twitter reports can specify what Tier they violated.

        • Future Ed Jun 25,2014 1:12 pm || Up

          and then they should not be punnished for tier 1

          I have $5. No I don\'t.
          • dmoas Jun 25,2014 2:22 pm || Up

            I don’t mind a punishment for Tier 1. Maybe a warning for first offense and then something like a 4 or 5 game thing and a small fine for each additional offense. Something more in line for illegal substances on your body sort of thing. But by no means should you be talking about 50+ or anything of the sort for it. I’d make that the punishment for a Tier 2 offense. With a season+ for a Tier 3. And you could let the arbitrator drop an offense down a Tier if there’s cause or reason to believe it was unintentional or there were potential issues with the sampling, etc.

  51. FreeSeatUpgrade Jun 25,2014 3:09 pm
    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • dmoas Jun 25,2014 3:12 pm || Up

      I think he’s throwing a no hitter. A no HITTER, you say? Yes, he’s throwing a NO HITTER.

      • Glorious Mundy Jun 25,2014 3:39 pm || Up

        Is that the thing where the guy doesn’t give up any hits?

    • Soaker Jun 25,2014 3:24 pm || Up

      I’d extend him. Right now. $30M/year for another 3 years at least. Do it Sabes.

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
  52. andeux Jun 25,2014 3:26 pm

    The Padres have a .616 OPS. (Or a little lower, after today.)
    Nick Punto has a .616 OPS.

    TINSTAAFK
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Jun 25,2014 3:42 pm || Up

      A lineup of nine Puntos. Someone should write a book.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • James V. Jun 25,2014 3:43 pm || Up

        We shall call it “Shittyball: The Art of Losing Games Because you Fucking Suck.”

        • 5Aces Jun 25,2014 8:55 pm || Up

          There are good teams
          then there are bad teams
          then there’s fifty feet of crap
          then there’s us
          then there’s the hot core of the earth that seperates actual professional teams
          Then the Padres.

          Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
          • Ben Folds' Nuts Jun 25,2014 9:15 pm || Up

            “There are good teams. And there are bad teams. Then there’s fifty feet of crap. And then there’s us. No, wait, that’s a bit over-dramatic. I mean, there are several other teams with payrolls similar to ours, and besides, this is a weird metaphor. I mean, why would all those other teams be stacked up on top of each other, and on top of fifty feet of crap? And where do you find fifty feet of crap? You stack it all up, it’s gonna start compacting in on itself. And what are the other dimensions of it? Fifty feet deep, sure, but how wide, how long? Anyway, the Padres aren’t too good this year.”

    • Glorious Mundy Jun 25,2014 3:45 pm || Up

      Literal LOL at this. That’s beyond incredible.

      • Soaker Jun 25,2014 3:50 pm || Up

        Theth is having a fine season, but looking through the rest of their roster, arrrgh. Cashner is pitching well, but can a starting pitcher with only 2 wins be named to the All-Star team? If there’s no room for another outfielder on the NL All-Star roster, Tyson Ross is the only other possible candidate.

        What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
        • Soaker Jun 25,2014 3:51 pm || Up

          Oops, my radar didn’t pick up Huston Street on the first sweep.

          What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
          • andeux Jun 25,2014 4:16 pm || Up

            So (with Cashner on the DL) their 3 best players(*) are ex-A’s.

            (* Actually Ian Kennedy has probably been better than Ross. Ross has the better ERA, but only because 25% of his runs have been unearned.)

            TINSTAAFK
        • nevermoor Jun 25,2014 4:03 pm || Up

          Still, they can torch Huddy.

          "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • dmoas Jun 25,2014 3:51 pm || Up

      Just wait. I’m sure Punto can lower his to match.

    • andeux Jun 25,2014 8:55 pm || Up

      If the Padres keep up their current pace of 3.01 R/G it would make them the lowest scoring team since 1972.

      And their team batting average (.213) would edge out the 1968 Yankees (.214) as the lowest in the last 100 years.

      And they couldn’t find room for Kyle Blanks.

      TINSTAAFK
  53. James V. Jun 25,2014 3:40 pm

    “Big Time Timmy Jim” has got to be one of the dumbest nicknames I’ve ever seen.

  54. Ben Folds' Nuts Jun 25,2014 6:53 pm

    New idea for a Punto replacement: Rickey Henderson.

    • FreeSeatUpgrade Jun 25,2014 7:11 pm || Up

      Dick Green is still available.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • Future Ed Jun 25,2014 7:13 pm || Up

        has anyone noticed callaspo’s starts at 2nd?

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
        • lenscrafters Jun 25,2014 8:00 pm || Up

          He is getting the majority of the starts against righties now. Which means Keebs is short on time.

          • dmoas Jun 26,2014 8:00 am || Up

            I’m guessing when Blanks is back, he’s gone.

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