It’s the opener of a quick two-game series against the Mets at Bailout Field, and the A’s look to draw first blood by sinking their teeth into Bartolo’s thick neck the juicy meatballs served up by their former teammate.
Current Mets with A’s ties, in addition to Colon, include CY25 (who’s in the starting lineup in CF with the lefty pitching, though his overall 2014 line is an even-worse-than-Oakland .201/.284/.313), backup catcher Anthony Recker (.210/.257/.324) and bullpen lefty Dana Eveland (called up earlier this month, he’s given up just 4 hits and 1 walk in 8.1 innings over 8 appearances). Last and least, that will be bench coach Bob Geren whispering sour nothings in the ear of Mets manager Terry Collins.
For the A’s, it’s Coco CF, Donaldson 3B, Moss 1B, Cespedes LF, Vogt C, Lowrie SS, Reddick RF, Callaspo 2B, Kazmir* P.
* — Get ready for Jeff Francis. Jerry Layne, who ejected Kazmir in Cleveland, draws the home plate umpiring assignment once again tonight.
holy crap! jerry layne? what are the odds?
I hope Gray made it to NY for tonight’s game. He may be needed after all.
And he’s already fucking us.
I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m only following this game because Jerry Layne is umping. I don’t even know who’s playing. I don’t even care. Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
Colon is a terrible match-up for us – a fly ball pitcher who doesn’t walk anyone.
Best bet might be to take an aggressive approach and hope to hit a couple balls out.
Can we cross our fingers that age has finally settled in?
Maybe he’ll just pitch badly because he likes us.
Sorry, only biting jokes allowed today refer to shoulders.
i forgot, no kk
Yes, Vince and Roxy have the entire road trip.
I actually like Roxy.
Me too. The problem is that he takes the Vince role, and Vince gets the six innings Korach usually gets. Yuck.
I like roxy, won’t listen to vince for 6 innings. the mets guys were fun
Mets broadcaster just referred to Colon’s “Caesar’s numbers,” trying to say “season’s numbers.”
With Ray, you’d never know if it was a mistake because he’d be still talking about how great the salad he had last night was and the dibs and the woh oh oh look at that, we have to get that up here and that looks good and wow I bet that tastes great and what were we talking about again?
Wow, Joe West too? Fuck. This is gonna be a great series.
Where’s Angel? I bet he’s in NY doing the video reviews!
Shift’d!
Mets broadcaster pronounces it “Yoo-anus.” Seriously.
Yoo-anus versu Poo-holes!
Shitty matchup.
Between crappy players.
Yoo-anus!
Yo.
This is the part where you talk about how you smuggle sandwiches in your anus, right?
Why would I do that?
Seriously. You have boobs for that.
Not anymore. I sold them.
Your boobs???!! How dare you!!!
Got a good deal and they were just in my way.
Oh no. MikeV will be devastated.
I don’t know. I do not know.
RUN!
It’s an Ed Inning!! (21 pitches by Colon)
What does erectile dysfunction have to do with Colon throwing 21 pitches. Oh wait. Colon health. Penis health. I get! No, I don’t.
Looks like Kazmir’s got some stuff on the left side of his neck.
He’s JerryBaiting.
Go on… touch it… HA HA! You touched my shit!!!
Was the past participle really what you wanted there?
I don’t know what you’re talking about. [shifty eyes]
What I saw:
If it’s anything and not just your screen, it look like a rash.
NY hotel laundry rash, I’m sure.
That’s Bob Geren?
I’m glad to see the Mets have been withholding food from Geren.
He’s a shell of his former self.
They no longer let him smell his fingers.
Oh right, interleague play in an NL ballpark.
Whoa, look at Kazmir, making good contact.
What do you guys think of putting Kazmir at second base on days he isn’t starting? Better than Punto? I say yes.
Kazmir has other pitches besides a fastball…
…which I guess are just as non-effective today.
CFKinY? Ugh.
Right after the Mets radio announcers were speculating about CY25’s impending loss of employment too.
Who moved this game to Houston and didn’t say anything?
I saw this onn my phone and thought of you
WTF. I look away for less than 5 minutes and this happens? How could you??!!!
Mets broadcaster, talking about a Met who’s on the cusp of being sent down, starts his sentence thusly: “When you don’t know if you belong…”
Getting a little heavy for baseball commentary, I think.
A little heavy? Ha ha. Colon joke!
Wait. That wasn’t funny.
That’s not heavy. This is heavy.
That is amazing… wow.
Still saying yoo-anus.
Stop! Collaborate and listen. Caramel Ice is back with a brand addition…
HEY GUYS…WHO WANTS MOAR RED SOX HIGHLIGHTS?!?!?!?!?!
OH I DO I DO NOT!
Thankfully, the Strikeout.co feed is the Mets tonight, so I don’t have to watch the A’s broadcast talk about the Red Sox.
OK, so if a hitter squares to bunt and pulls back, it’s considered a take, right? But how the fuck is that not “breaking the plane” or whatever dumb shit people use to justify calling a check-swing an actual swing?
You can pull the bat back before it crosses the plate. Otherwises it’s a swwwwwing.
That’s my objection. If I check my swing, I have clearly pulled the bat back. Are you gonna go to the video replay to prove whether or not the ball had crossed the plate at the time? Why is a bunt given such leeway? I’ve seen guys not pull the bat back until the ball was almost hitting it, and still not get called.
I just don’t think a swing should be a swing unless you swing. All the way. If you think better of it enough to not follow through, then you didn’t get fooled, you didn’t swing.
The bunt should be called more strictly… its true. But in many cases, there isn’t an attempt to bunt even if it is held out for a while.
Most guys set up far back enough in the batter’s box that their squared bunting stance does not cross the plate.
Because its not considered a swing unless you make an attempt at the ball. A check swing is deemed when it is a strike to be an attempt at the ball.
That was rather Byrnesian.
Eric Young almost fucks up a routine fly ball, salvages the catch, falls down…and pimps it?
Classic pasta right there.
Who gave the Mets permission to do this? Was it one of you?
Punto.
Mets’ broadcaster: “And now Granderson, who rankled a two-run homer his last time up.”
Curtis Granderson almost got himself ejected there.
Mets’ broadcaster sagely praising A’s catcher Stephen Voight.
They just want to make it more likely that Angelina Jolie will turn up at the next game.
is that the same voight? can we check the dental records?
The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over. But it can’t. Not without your help. But you’re not helping.
That’s because I too am laying on my back, my belly baking in the hot sun, beating my legs trying to turn myself over. But I can’t. Not without the tortoise’s help. But it’s not helping.
He gets on 2 times in a row? He’s trolling me isnt he?
Well this sucks.
I dont know why I think any of you would be Mets experts, but have they been doing towel stuff all year long, or are they mocking the HR tunnel?
Mets radio guys said something about that being their usual celebration, apparently created by Granderson.
This escalated quickly.
It jumped up a notch.
And nary a trident in sight.
Ok, it sucks that we are losing. But I will admit it; I miss Bartolo and it is fun to see someone as old and big as me still out there dealing it.
Raise your hand if you’re surprised Colon got a hit off Johnson.
Smart move, make him run the bases.
I understand how double switches should work, but when you take out Lowrie for LNP1 when you are down by 6, that’s just wrong.
They have two scheduled off-days this week, and by conceding the game by letting Johnson and Francis finish that’s a third off-day for a heavily-used bullpen. I’m fine with tanking a game occasionally with the long view in mind.
this
Ive never said this for my own pitcher, but JJ needs to throw a wild pitch right now just for the sight.
I don’t know, I don’t think two games really makes a series. The only way to win the series is to sweep. It’s bogus.
+1
Well…good for CY there.
Are we the Astros and is this Houston.
Seeing JJ vs CY25 almost caused some sort of rift in the universe. If it had been Asshat Catching and Angel as the umpire I would have just left for the nearest bomb shelter.
I think I would have enjoyed seeing a pike of 20 million burning singles.
pile
I like the idea of the pike even more.
I hope Jeff Francis is enjoying his last few days in an A’s uniform.
me too.
These last couple innings serve as a tryout for an August-September job with the Hiroshima Carp.
anybody see the emperor in the stands yet?
We’re just setting up for 10 run top of the 9th.
The A’s have only given up double-digit runs twice this season, and they’ve been the last two game threads I’ve put up. So that’s up to you otherFKers for a while.
man, that was bad. I am glad I went bowling
We missed you.
not as badly as i missed the pins!
rim. shot.
twins have decided that outs are overrated against the Angels.
Looks like Bartolo had us for second breakfast today.
I’ll think twice next time about coming 3500 miles if it’s just gonna be in-game BP.
At least the airport’s right next door.
Get ‘im, Billy!
Huston Street would be a fine addition to this year’s pen.
I think McCarthy would been good at the right
Huston Street some some mean stuff about a good friend of Billy Beane’s.
Said. He said some mean stuff.
Smart Lad, that one.
so fucking stupid.
To be clear about that, a “drug of abuse” is a recreational drug, not a PED.
I wish they had a better system for that. There should be multiple tiers with different punishments assessed. A Tier 1 would be a non-PED that they shouldn’t be using. A Tier 2 being a potential PED and/or believed to be an accidental usage. A Tier 3 for a true PED usage. Then these Twitter reports can specify what Tier they violated.
and then they should not be punnished for tier 1
I don’t mind a punishment for Tier 1. Maybe a warning for first offense and then something like a 4 or 5 game thing and a small fine for each additional offense. Something more in line for illegal substances on your body sort of thing. But by no means should you be talking about 50+ or anything of the sort for it. I’d make that the punishment for a Tier 2 offense. With a season+ for a Tier 3. And you could let the arbitrator drop an offense down a Tier if there’s cause or reason to believe it was unintentional or there were potential issues with the sampling, etc.
SOMETHING’S NOT THE MATTER WITH TIMMEH!
I think he’s throwing a no hitter. A no HITTER, you say? Yes, he’s throwing a NO HITTER.
Is that the thing where the guy doesn’t give up any hits?
I’d extend him. Right now. $30M/year for another 3 years at least. Do it Sabes.
The Padres have a .616 OPS. (Or a little lower, after today.)
Nick Punto has a .616 OPS.
A lineup of nine Puntos. Someone should write a book.
We shall call it “Shittyball: The Art of Losing Games Because you Fucking Suck.”
ASVD
There are good teams
then there are bad teams
then there’s fifty feet of crap
then there’s us
then there’s the hot core of the earth that seperates actual professional teams
Then the Padres.
“There are good teams. And there are bad teams. Then there’s fifty feet of crap. And then there’s us. No, wait, that’s a bit over-dramatic. I mean, there are several other teams with payrolls similar to ours, and besides, this is a weird metaphor. I mean, why would all those other teams be stacked up on top of each other, and on top of fifty feet of crap? And where do you find fifty feet of crap? You stack it all up, it’s gonna start compacting in on itself. And what are the other dimensions of it? Fifty feet deep, sure, but how wide, how long? Anyway, the Padres aren’t too good this year.”
Literal LOL at this. That’s beyond incredible.
Theth is having a fine season, but looking through the rest of their roster, arrrgh. Cashner is pitching well, but can a starting pitcher with only 2 wins be named to the All-Star team? If there’s no room for another outfielder on the NL All-Star roster, Tyson Ross is the only other possible candidate.
Oops, my radar didn’t pick up Huston Street on the first sweep.
So (with Cashner on the DL) their 3 best players(*) are ex-A’s.
(* Actually Ian Kennedy has probably been better than Ross. Ross has the better ERA, but only because 25% of his runs have been unearned.)
Still, they can torch Huddy.
Just wait. I’m sure Punto can lower his to match.
If the Padres keep up their current pace of 3.01 R/G it would make them the lowest scoring team since 1972.
And their team batting average (.213) would edge out the 1968 Yankees (.214) as the lowest in the last 100 years.
And they couldn’t find room for Kyle Blanks.
“Big Time Timmy Jim” has got to be one of the dumbest nicknames I’ve ever seen.
New idea for a Punto replacement: Rickey Henderson.
Dick Green is still available.
has anyone noticed callaspo’s starts at 2nd?
He is getting the majority of the starts against righties now. Which means Keebs is short on time.
I’m guessing when Blanks is back, he’s gone.