Making a Grill to serve you lazy FKers ← FREE KRAUT!

Making a Grill to serve you lazy FKers 489

Best Passive Aggressive Notes of 2013! Some nice ones in there…who doesn’t like getting a friendly critique their Godless Activities from a neighbor?

Tommy Wingels of the Sharks is the leading advocate behind the acceptance-themed pro athletes organization You Can Play, to honor the memory of a gay friend of his from college. A’s fans might remember Coco Crisp’s role in a You Can Play TV spot last season. So sayeth Ms. Slusser, in her usual excellent offseason form.

Dennis Rodman is also in his usual excellent offseason form.

If you have a loved one with mental health problems, never call the cops for help. Never. So sad.

"Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."

489 thoughts on “Making a Grill to serve you lazy FKers

  1. FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 7,2014 8:55 am

    Still no word from the A’s on whether single-game box office ticket sales will start on the same day as Fan Fest (Sat Feb 8), as has been their past practice. I keep expecting them to add more disincentives for box office purchases, as they’ve done with Opening Day by giving first dibs to fans willing to pay online screwjob convenience fees.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 7,2014 4:29 pm || Up

      Hmm, the Oakland Tribune has some more info on tickets:

      Individual game tickets and season ticket packages will be available at FanFest as well. Tickets can be purchased at the Coliseum box office, online at http://www.oaklandathletics.com/tickets or by calling 877-493-BALL (2255). Individual game tickets will first go on sale Friday, January 24 at 9 a.m.

      What’s not clear is whether “Individual game tickets will first go on sale Friday, January 24 at 9 a.m.” includes box office sales, or if perhaps that’s the online only initial offering I’ve been fearing.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  2. FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 7,2014 9:09 am

    I could get on board with a US workers movement which used “boss-napping” as a tactic. Except the cops would shoot them dead, and any workers that survived would be sent to Guantanamo. Still, I see potential. DFA?

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  3. Glorious Mundy Jan 7,2014 9:51 am
    • elcroata Jan 7,2014 10:14 am || Up

      Unanimous

      Because survival is insufficient
    • dmoas Jan 7,2014 12:50 pm || Up

      His voting rights need to be taken away from him.

    • Dial C for Concupiscence Jan 7,2014 1:07 pm || Up

      Sigh. Reading further voters’ justifications doesn’t help (even if they did vote for Maddux). I don’t need arguments like “The Hall is only for the truly elites – your Ruths and Aarons and Walter Johnsons — which is why I’m voting for Morris” in my life.

      • Glorious Mundy Jan 7,2014 1:11 pm || Up

        I mean, seriously. Read this shit:

        MARK NEWMAN, enterprise editor
        Biggio, Bonds, Clemens, Glavine, Maddux, Morris, Piazza, Smith, Thomas

        Nine checks for me is a one-year aberration no matter who is on next year’s ballot … never again. The Hall of Fame was created for the elite of the elite, not for those who require social campaigning. I will be tempted next December to vote for only Bonds and Clemens, on the basis that no others on this or the next ballot were remotely near their levels of greatness; both are among the top three all-time as a position player and pitcher, respectively. I resisted that urge knowing I would be pilloried for obvious reasons, and I succumbed to the logjam process by checking off nine who dominated in their era. Voters (and helpful lobbyists) should frequent Cooperstown and feel the aura of plaques in the gallery — a routine reminder of this entire exercise. It is a place for Babe, Willie, Big Train, Georgia Peach, Hammerin’ Hank, Stan the Man and comparable gods. Let’s now move beyond accommodation voting, forced by misguided moral trial, and choose select “locks” among the ballot no matter who carries over or is added.

        • FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 7,2014 1:20 pm || Up

          Viewed without consideration of his actual ballot choices, I don’t have any problem with the basic thrust of his argument. If he had added a line that the logjam was caused entirely by voters imposing their personal bullshit morality by uniformly rejecting steroid-era players it would have been even better.

          "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
          • Glorious Mundy Jan 7,2014 1:39 pm || Up

            If the basic thrust of his argument is only choose “locks,” I think that sounds good but doesn’t actually provide much guidance other than “don’t think hard about this or try to persuade others of your position,” which is pretty dumb. Certainly everyone has differences about the proper greatness cutoff for enshrinement, but no matter where you think that cutoff is, there will be edge cases that require thought. Only voting for “locks” is pure question begging.

            Additionally, I’m not really sure what the thrust of his argument really is, because it’s present kind of incoherently, especially in light of his vote for Morris and, to a lesser extent, Lee Smith.

            • Glorious Mundy Jan 7,2014 1:45 pm || Up

              (Actually, not “to a lesser extent” for Smith. To a similar or greater extent.)

            • FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 7,2014 1:58 pm || Up

              The basic thrust I took from it was a Small Hall, only clearly great titans of the game get in, and if you’re having to squint and contort your rationale too much then the candidate probably fails the prima facia case requirement. Of course there will always be edge cases, but they should consist of perhaps 2-3% of the hard choices, not half of them.

              Understanding of course that I am handicapped by having to support his flawed argument rather than making my own (awesome and impervious) case. Hence the “without consideration of his actual ballot” caveat, which is definitely some David Brooks weed-smoking hypocrisy shirt right there.

              "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
              • andeux Jan 7,2014 1:59 pm || Up

                Even on those terms, it’s a pretty weak argument, because that’s not what the Hall is or ever has been.

                TINSTAAFK
                • nevermoor Jan 7,2014 4:41 pm || Up

                  Since when is that the mandatory standard for each voter. I’m a small hall guy myself (though for me it means my first test is whether letting someone in would raise the median for their position, not that only top-50 all-time players can go in)

                  "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
                • andeux Jan 7,2014 5:06 pm || Up

                  To answer your rhetorical question, of course there is “no mandatory standard for each voter,” they are free to be “small hall guys,” just as they are free to be anti-steroid guys, anti-steroid-era guys, anti-DH-guys, pro-Jim-Rice-and-Jack-Morris guys, etc.

                  But what he actually says

                  Voters (and helpful lobbyists) should frequent Cooperstown and feel the aura of plaques in the gallery — a routine reminder of this entire exercise. It is a place for Babe, Willie, Big Train, Georgia Peach, Hammerin’ Hank, Stan the Man and comparable gods.

                  seems to be claiming that a “small hall” standard is upholding precedence. Which is just complete nonsense.

                  TINSTAAFK
                • nevermoor Jan 7,2014 5:19 pm || Up

                  Fair enough. I agree with you there, which is why I’ve always liked Simmons’ tiered hall idea. It’s pretty disconcerting to see no distinction (other than military service) between great players and players who everyone regrets letting in.

                  "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
                • batgirl Jan 8,2014 1:32 pm || Up

                  Despite the fact that the plaque gallery is about the most boring part of Cooperstown…

                • danmerqury Jan 8,2014 6:11 pm || Up

                  Have to agree here. The actual museum part of it was totally fascinating. I spent two hours there. The Hall? Walk up one wall, down the other, take a picture of a couple of plaques…and that’s about it. In and out in a tight 15.

                • Future Ed Jan 8,2014 7:34 pm || Up

                  that’ll take a cozy 10 minutes

                  I have $5. No I don\'t.
                • ptbnl Jan 8,2014 9:05 pm || Up

                  We’re not about to do a free-form jazz exploration in front of a hall of fame crowd.

                  If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
                • Future Ed Jan 8,2014 9:13 pm || Up

                  If I told them once, I told them 100 times, Babe Ruth first Andre Dawson second.

                  I have $5. No I don\'t.
                • Future Ed Jan 8,2014 9:15 pm || Up

                  did they try inducting them in Doby?

                  I have $5. No I don\'t.
                • andeux Jan 8,2014 9:25 pm || Up

                  “Schmidt Sandwich”

                  TINSTAAFK
                • sslinger Jan 9,2014 11:00 am || Up

                  Tagline?

    • elcroata Jan 8,2014 12:58 am || Up

      As Mike would write, a classical example of “LOOK AT ME!”

      Because survival is insufficient
      • MikeV Jan 8,2014 8:56 am || Up

        Very much so, especially considering that the guy has previously voted for players who did play in the “PED Era”

        And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

        Thanks, and go As.

  4. AV Jan 7,2014 9:54 am

    i don’t want to start any blasphemous rumors but i think the FSM has a python-derived sense of humor.

    *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • Future Ed Jan 7,2014 10:53 am || Up

      I think you have a sick sense of humor

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
      • AV Jan 7,2014 2:06 pm || Up

        it’s not sick. it’s brain dead. but we’re hoping for a miraculous recovery.

        (i know. way too soon. please let the poor girl go already… i get so bummed out reading the daily twists.)

        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • brian.only Jan 7,2014 10:57 pm || Up

        And when I die I expect to find you laughing.

  5. Dial C for Concupiscence Jan 7,2014 11:05 am

    A’s in on Tanaka? speculates a major league exec, who is presumably unfamiliar with the A’s budgeting situation and the difference between a $36 million deal and a $100+ million deal.

    • Glorious Mundy Jan 7,2014 11:12 am || Up

      “Watch out for Oakland,” the exec said. “They’ve got as much money as any team…

      Uh.

      • JediLeroy Jan 7,2014 3:09 pm || Up

        Well, they’ve been saving it for years!

        az di bobe volt gehat beytsim volt zi geven mayn zeyde
  6. FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 7,2014 1:30 pm
    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • Future Ed Jan 7,2014 1:35 pm || Up

      We had a guy who handed over a note saying that he had a “bom”

      The teller broke protocol and just called the cops.

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • andeux Jan 7,2014 1:48 pm || Up

      Life imitates “Take the Money and Run”

      TINSTAAFK
  7. AV Jan 7,2014 1:40 pm

    you either catch the butterfly or you don’t catch the butterfly close your eyes, duck, and stick your glove somewhere out there in the vicinity hoping to catch the butterfly.

    *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • MikeV Jan 7,2014 1:47 pm || Up

      Clicking through to the illiois.edu site is a lot more interesting

      And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

      Thanks, and go As.

      • Glorious Mundy Jan 7,2014 1:50 pm || Up
        • MikeV Jan 7,2014 1:56 pm || Up

          Crazy.

          Kinda surprised that more people don’t try to throw the knuckleball.

          And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

          Thanks, and go As.

          • Glorious Mundy Jan 7,2014 2:10 pm || Up

            I kind of want to start teaching my son one now. A lefty knuckleballer could pitch forever!

          • FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 7,2014 2:11 pm || Up

            It’s fun to try when you’re throwing warmups and stuff. I can usually get 1 of every 4-5 I try to leave my fingers without any spin, and maybe 1 of 10 to really knuckle in a pleasing way. Lots of laughs when the person on the receiving end isn’t expecting it. Maybe I’ll try a few throwing to brian.only at next Saturday’s softball game.

            "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
            • Glorious Mundy Jan 7,2014 2:11 pm || Up

              Is it possible to throw an underhand knuckleball?

              • nevermoor Jan 7,2014 4:43 pm || Up

                Yes, but it isn’t anywhere near as effective. Every time I’ve gotten one right in slow-pitch it gets walloped.

                "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
                • FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 7,2014 4:47 pm || Up

                  Yes, the degree of knuckling is related to the speed of the air being unevenly disrupted by the flight of the non-spinning ball. Slow pitch, little air disruption, no knuckling.

                  Now, in my days on the slo-pitch mound I did have a nasty screwball.

                  "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
                • danmerqury Jan 7,2014 6:43 pm || Up

                  Yup. If anyone has a copy of the 2014 THT Annual, Alan Nathan has an awesome piece on the physics of the knuckleball.

            • elcroata Jan 8,2014 1:07 am || Up

              If you are up for a challenge, try splitfinger. With a softball

              Because survival is insufficient
              • AV Jan 8,2014 8:59 am || Up

                in chicago.

                *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • AV Jan 7,2014 2:10 pm || Up

        woulda clicked through, but i wasted all my break time being confused by that video in my link. it’s not the trajectory it’s the direction it moves in???

        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  8. Englishmajor Jan 7,2014 2:19 pm

    The illustration of the unfortunate effects of black ice starts at :12.

  9. Glorious Mundy Jan 7,2014 2:53 pm

    I can’t stop laughing at this attempt to suck more money out of older conservatives’ pockets. No points for guessing that Newt’s involved.

    • AV Jan 7,2014 3:24 pm || Up
      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • Glorious Mundy Jan 7,2014 3:29 pm || Up

        Yes We Can (Use This Font for Grifting)!

    • MikeV Jan 7,2014 3:34 pm || Up

      What is it?

      And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

      Thanks, and go As.

      • Glorious Mundy Jan 7,2014 3:40 pm || Up

        A scam, I think.

      • Soaker Jan 7,2014 4:05 pm || Up

        An attempt to steer people away from AARP. Here’s another one. As usual the righties have Balkanized themselves.

        What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
        • Glorious Mundy Jan 7,2014 4:10 pm || Up

          Please. That one doesn’t even offer a wine club, let alone a dating service.

        • elcroata Jan 8,2014 1:19 am || Up

          Balkan objects

          Because survival is insufficient
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 7,2014 3:34 pm || Up

      On a vaguely tangentially related note, Matt Taibbi was hilarious the other day on the subject of the Republican internecine warfare (plutocrats versus angry peasants).

      …the Chamber of Commerce disclosed that it will be teaming up with Republican establishment leaders to spend $50 million in an effort to stem the tide of “fools” who have overwhelmed Republican ballots in recent seasons…

      There’s almost no end to the comedy of this story. First of all, there’s the sheer size of the endowment. Fifty million dollars is enough money to fund half a dozen or more Senate campaigns. That the big-business donors who traditionally have funded the Republican Party believe they need to make that kind of monster investment just to keep “fools” from getting on the ballot of a party they basically control is an incredible reflection of the state of things on that side of the political aisle.

      Then, of course, there’s the irony. Men like Karl Rove and Dick Armey practically invented the politics of stupid…To see these same Beltway Svengalis trapped now in this crazy role reversal, denounced by the far right for being the same kind of condescending establishment snot-bags they themselves spent decades trying to find and campaign against – well, that’s just seriously funny.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • elcroata Jan 8,2014 1:17 am || Up

      Marines Consider Changing Standards to Include More Women

      The idea is to open thousands of combat roles to women in 2016, a politically correct move that once again changes the face of our military under the Obama administration.

      The story notes, “The Marines had hoped to institute the pullups on the belief that pullups require the muscular strength necessary to perform common military tasks such as scaling a wall, climbing up a rope or lifting and carrying heavy munitions.

      My climbing partner was a woman. She can’t even do a single pull-up properly. She can climb an 8 (something like 5.13 on Yosemite Grade). So, good luck with that reasoning, asshole

      Because survival is insufficient
      • dmoas Jan 8,2014 8:00 am || Up

        My counterpoint to that is that you shouldn’t be changing anything to include more women in combat. Change it because it’s a poor indicator of being capable of doing the job man OR woman. If doing so makes it more accurate AND results in more women, great, but the standards need to be gender blind and directed at being able to do the job.

        • elcroata Jan 8,2014 8:17 am || Up

          My counter-counterpoint is that some indicators are gender specific

          Because survival is insufficient
          • dmoas Jan 8,2014 2:52 pm || Up

            So? The standard needs to be set for whether a person can do the job. So set each person’s standard to meet that whatever that may be. If that requires two standards to be merged into one or two separate standards so be it. The key is to make sure they’re actually qualified. The only real difference in our views (and I’m not so sure there really is actually a difference) is that whatever the standard a person must meet (one standard, two separate standards), the goal should be solely about getting qualified people into the job, not about gender equality. And if there’s an erroneous measure, it should be dropped or altered to make it useful.

            • Future Ed Jan 8,2014 2:55 pm || Up

              I can’t see how doing 3 pull ups indicates anything.

              I hope they take it out

              I have $5. No I don\'t.
              • dmoas Jan 8,2014 3:23 pm || Up

                That’s what I meant in my last line. If it’s an erroneous measure, drop it or fix it. Though I’d love to see a “hang here for 10 minutes” since the average woman is significantly more likely to be able to do it than the average man because holding twice the overall body mass is ridiculously not easy.

            • elcroata Jan 8,2014 10:28 pm || Up

              No real difference in opinion

              Because survival is insufficient
  10. FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 7,2014 5:49 pm

    Not much brightens up my day more than a new update from the good folks at the internet k-hole! Some pics NSFW.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 7,2014 5:53 pm || Up

      The hair! The glorious, glorious hair!

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • AV Jan 7,2014 6:23 pm || Up

        totally fucking bitchen.

        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • Future Ed Jan 7,2014 6:26 pm || Up

        what is that?

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
        • colin Jan 10,2014 5:52 pm || Up

          Some sort of mystery blog that irregularly posts big caches of somewhat unseemly photos from the 70’s.

  11. elcroata Jan 8,2014 6:40 am

    Hammer is out

    Extremely fond memories of him in the VfB uniform, with his goal at 1:02 bringing the last championship to Stuttgart (it helped that Cottbus had horrible Croatian keeper, Piplica)

    He is the first (former) EPL player to speak open about his homosexuality. Hut ab, Hitze!

    Because survival is insufficient
    • AV Jan 8,2014 9:12 am || Up

      wait. you’re saying he’s… german. and he hasn’t… hurt himself skiing this winter?

      will wonders never cease???

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  12. Glorious Mundy Jan 8,2014 9:37 am

    Good. (Although that C is kind of ugly with the weird serif and all.)

    • andeux Jan 8,2014 9:47 am || Up

      They have a large and loyal fan base who has been wearing that odious red-faced mascot on their caps and shirts for decades now.

      Isn’t Calcaterra a Braves fan?

      TINSTAAFK
      • Glorious Mundy Jan 8,2014 9:52 am || Up

        Yes, but he’s been critical of things like the chop as I recall, and nothing about the Braves comes close to the offensiveness of Wahoo.

        • dmoas Jan 8,2014 3:17 pm || Up

          Screaming Brave head does. Possibly worse.

    • dmoas Jan 8,2014 3:01 pm || Up

      But this fall the Indians surveyed fans about Wahoo.

      This isn’t really true. The survey that they’re referring to wasn’t really about Wahoo at all. It included a some bit about the logo only similar context of other imagery used, but it was clear from the questions they asked and how they asked them that Wahoo wasn’t a major factor about it. It wouldn’t much different from asking about the A’s elephant logo in context of other varieties of A’s-centric images.

      That being said, it wouldn’t surprise me if after a several years without Wahoo around at all, they change their name. And by several, I mean probably more than a decade.

      • Glorious Mundy Jan 8,2014 3:05 pm || Up

        The logo where the elephant is gleefully wielding a bat while standing on a giant baseball frickin’ rules, by the way, in case you’re asking. And Stomper is the best in the business.

      • AV Jan 8,2014 3:17 pm || Up

        http://cleveland.cbslocal.com/2013/10/23/indians-survey-fans-feelings-about-chief-wahoo-other-logos/

        seems that by asking about the other logos, they’re setting up a better, more representative, and more practical* survey about the chief than if they only asked about the chief.

        * in terms of what might be the next logo.

        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
        • dmoas Jan 8,2014 3:19 pm || Up

          That’s the one I was referring to. Too much of a big deal was made out of it.

  13. Glorious Mundy Jan 8,2014 9:56 am

    Of all the HOF silliness, the one I really have trouble understanding is Biggio in (this year or next) but Bagwell probably out. Combination of PED panic and Biggio having gotten to 3000 hits while Bagwell didn’t get to 500 homers, I guess, but still…Bagwell was the better player by a lot.

  14. andeux Jan 8,2014 10:18 am

    Your periodic reminder that NCAA Div 1-A sports is disgusting.

    a CNN investigation revealed that most schools have between 7% and 18% of revenue sport athletes who are reading at an elementary school level.

    TINSTAAFK
  15. nobody in particular Jan 8,2014 10:44 am

    Another 67th birthday, another modern music icon, and another blog post about exactly those things… who knew?? Enjoy these 2 DVDs made from unreleased TV broadcasts of bits of my personal favorite, his 1978 tour. NO IT ISN’T ELVIS!!!! Although I’d pay to see that, given that he was already dead a year when these aired.

    Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
  16. andeux Jan 8,2014 11:03 am
    TINSTAAFK
    • Future Ed Jan 8,2014 12:52 pm || Up

      ART!

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
      • sslinger Jan 8,2014 2:31 pm || Up

        New Mexico is trying to make a run at Florida as the new kingdom of craze.

  17. MikeV Jan 8,2014 11:05 am

    Maddux, Glavine, BIG HURT

    Biggio 74.8%

    And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

    Thanks, and go As.

    • Glorious Mundy Jan 8,2014 11:20 am || Up

      Despite what I said above, that’s a bummer for Biggio, and it probably hurts Bagwell’s chances next year since Biggio will still be clogging the ballot. Missed by two votes!

      • Glorious Mundy Jan 8,2014 11:40 am || Up

        Next year’s ballot is going to be even more nuts than this year’s, by the way, with Pedro, Unit, and Smoltz coming on.

        • nevermoor Jan 8,2014 3:23 pm || Up

          Not really. This year we are losing 4 (the three inductees and Morris) and only gain 3. The crazy won’t subside until PED folks get in though.

          "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
          • Glorious Mundy Jan 8,2014 4:12 pm || Up

            Hrmph. Good point. I guess it just seems crazier because of the insane quality of the two at the top.

          • vignette17 Jan 9,2014 2:10 pm || Up

            Lost Palmeiro too.

    • elcroata Jan 8,2014 11:36 am || Up

      OK, so remind me again why Glavine got 90% while Mussina got 20%

      Because survival is insufficient
      • Glorious Mundy Jan 8,2014 11:38 am || Up

        Mussina never won 20 games in a season, obviously.

      • Glorious Mundy Jan 8,2014 11:42 am || Up

        Oh, and Glavine pitched those two extra crappy years to put himself over 300 wins.

        • andeux Jan 8,2014 6:49 pm || Up

          He did have 850 more innings (with a slightly better ERA).

          TINSTAAFK
      • Future Ed Jan 8,2014 12:53 pm || Up

        yeah

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
      • Dial C for Concupiscence Jan 8,2014 3:59 pm || Up

        Association to Maddux

        • Glorious Mundy Jan 8,2014 4:07 pm || Up

          That’s interesting. I do have this vague sense that coming on the ballot with Maddux helped Glavine, when you would think it would hurt him by comparison.

          I also think that writers just didn’t like Mussina. He seemed kind of aloof, and there was always this vague sense in New York that he was an underachiever, not a True Yankee, and all the associated bullshit that goes along with that.

          • MikeV Jan 8,2014 4:12 pm || Up

            Being in NYY was bad for him. He was overshadowed by the rest of that stupid stupid team.

            Also he was better in Baltimore than NY, but omfg yankees.

            And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

            Thanks, and go As.

            • Glorious Mundy Jan 8,2014 4:15 pm || Up

              He saved their asses in the 2001 ALDS, but they never loved him for it. He could never shake the Stanford Face, is my theory.

          • Dial C for Concupiscence Jan 8,2014 4:39 pm || Up

            My guess is that when going about the voting, most writers naturally started on Maddux, and going to Glavine next is an easy progression. When the ballot is this crowded, I’d bet that those players considered earlier are checked off more frequently.

        • elcroata Jan 9,2014 2:17 pm || Up

          I’m pretty sure that played a factor, indeed

          Because survival is insufficient
    • colin Jan 10,2014 5:57 pm || Up

      Is Thomas the first primary DH to make it in? Or is he in the same boat as Molitor, in terms of playing in the field just enough for the voters? What is Edgar’s status on the ballot?

  18. AV Jan 8,2014 11:47 am

    today in confusing soccer non-news…

    this says platini ordered UEFA refs to not give out automatic reds in last-man inside-the-box fouls, going against FIFA’s rules, but i can’t find any confirmation of the story in the newspaper they mention or anywhere else on the web, except for december 5th rumblings about platini’s declared hopes about sin bins. so i can’t tell if this is a virtual coup d’etat sorta thing, or another case of terrible argentine journalism re-posting old news.

    but while looking that up, i saw that valcke went out and declared to france inter radio that 2022 would not happen in june-july, but in november-december. words that immediately caused FIFA to say this was merely valcke’s point of view and that no decision will be made until after brasil. (read: it’s a blue ribbon situation.)

    *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • AV Jan 9,2014 11:28 am || Up

      ha! scooped the times. that’s the quality and speed of soccer news you get around here guys.

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • AV Jan 9,2014 11:31 am || Up

        great. now i’m gonna go around all day with this song stuck in my head.

        scoopin’ the times! scoopin’ the times!

        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • AV Jan 9,2014 11:49 am || Up

        also, btw, and continuing to scoop, platini, while yes, what the times says he says is generally accurate, has already fired at valcke and blatter about the public statement, saying that this is a matter for the committee to decide, not for the heads to go around making statements beforehand. so, basically, platini agrees about a schedule shift, but he’s trying to use it as leverage anyway. there’s gonna be sparks flying come election time. grondona better make some noise or he’s gonna be forgotten.

        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  19. AV Jan 8,2014 11:54 am
    *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  20. Future Ed Jan 8,2014 7:42 pm

    Ok nerds: I have been reading cool maddux stories. I like them but one strikes me as untrue. Eddie perez says that Maddux shook off a pitch to intentionally give up a HR to Bagwell during a shut out with the intention of getting bagwell to look for that pitch in a playoff game that may come later.

    I don’t pay for B-ref, but here is the link

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 8,2014 8:06 pm || Up

      How about this one?

      When they played together on the Cubs, Mark Grace once noticed Maddux walking around the pitching mound in a very strained, uncomfortable manner. Fearing his teammate was hurt, Grace approached the mound, only to find Maddux in an state of obvious physical excitement, the kind normally reserved for passionate endeavors.

      “Man, you really do love to pitch,” Grace marveled.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • AV Jan 8,2014 9:30 pm || Up

        huh. he doesn’t really fit the profile of a hard thrower.

        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
        • AV Jan 8,2014 9:30 pm || Up

          wait. is viagra a PED??

          *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
          • AV Jan 8,2014 9:33 pm || Up

            ha! i just had to bite my mental tongue as i ranted in my head against the proofreader. see story title.

            (i still got to rant about knowing one’s title case.)

            *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • andeux Jan 8,2014 8:35 pm || Up

      Well, they met in the playoffs in 1997, 1999, and 2001.
      Of those years, Maddux allowed a HR to Bagwell in the regular season only in 1999.
      But that HR came with a man on in the third inning of a game that Atlanta eventually won 8-5, not a (near) shutout.

      That doesn’t quite prove the story untrue, since the HR could have come in some other year when they might have (but eventually didn’t) end up meeting in the playoffs.

      But that kind of story is an old baseball legend. The version I’ve heard usually went the other way – someone like Mays or Aaron intentionally flailing at a pitch in an early at bat, only to hit a HR on the same pitch in a more important situation later.

      TINSTAAFK
      • Future Ed Jan 8,2014 8:47 pm || Up

        2 in 95 weren’t caught by perez, so that is 3 of the 5. I just don’t know about the other two and didn’t want to go through all the box scores

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
  21. nobody in particular Jan 9,2014 1:14 am

    Jimmy Page is officially 70 today… wow that makes me feel old. Have a look at today’s blog post and you might find something weird and unexpected, with an equally-as-bizarre backstory.

    Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
    • AV Jan 9,2014 11:23 am || Up

      just mentioning kenneth anger makes me firework in my pants. nice story too. i had no idea lucifer rising was filmed around here.

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 9,2014 12:43 pm || Up
        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
        • AV Jan 9,2014 1:04 pm || Up

          O_O

          tl;don’t have time to read it right now

          (so i guess i’ll walk around with an unlit piccolo pete till tonight.)

          *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
        • AV Jan 9,2014 10:36 pm || Up

          yeah that shot sparks. and i’m glad i took the time to go down every rabbit hole. nearly armchair solved the thelma todd case even. not really. just fascinated by all the inconsistencies in all the versions of that story. and i did notice that the last film the article talks about attributes the quote to the tempest when really it comes from othello. and that nobody fact checked it. and that NiP uses the word comprise better.

          *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
          • nobody in particular Jan 10,2014 1:47 pm || Up

            NiP uses the word comprise better.

            As a writer and Scorpio, this compliment pleases me more than being hit on by cute, prematurely bearded 20something guys on BART.

            Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
      • nobody in particular Jan 10,2014 1:53 pm || Up

        The final cut of Lucifer Rising doesn’t contain any of the footage shot in Crowley’s old house in SF, which I think was on Hayes at the west end of Alamo Square. All that footage is in Invocation of My Demon Brother, the one with the Mick-Jagger-tortures-a-Moog score. Lucifer Rising is shot mostly on the Giza Plateau, which Anger brilliantly scammed his way onto by telling the authorities he was filming a documentary about ancient Egyptian beliefs.

        I had no idea anyone here would even know these films, but if there was someone it had to be AV!!!

        Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
        • AV Jan 10,2014 3:06 pm || Up

          anger’s house, the “russian embassy” on fulton at alamo square?

          fireworks and scorpio rising, i saw compliments of annette michelson when i took her class at NYU. then i dug a little deeper in the NYU viewing library. i bet i got some good doubletakes when people walked past my TV cubicle. the lucifer/demon ones i saw projected on the walls of the cooler, a small, mazelike, and literally underground venue/dance club in the meat packing district. the cooler was also a stopping point for the arkestra after sun ra died, which i caught two or three times, and during these shows, they’d project space is the place. hand in hand, really.

          *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
          • brian.only Jan 10,2014 8:40 pm || Up

            I saw Post-Ra Arkestra at la Pena in the late 90’s, spectacular show on mushrooms.

  22. MikeV Jan 9,2014 9:09 am

    Depth?

    And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

    Thanks, and go As.

    • nevermoor Jan 10,2014 10:50 am || Up

      I’m in as a flyer. Nothing much more

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • Soaker Jan 10,2014 3:33 pm || Up

      That would be better than Dontrelle Willis.

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
  23. Future Ed Jan 9,2014 12:33 pm

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 9,2014 12:42 pm || Up

      Hah!

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  24. Future Ed Jan 9,2014 12:47 pm

    SuSlu with a pretty good ballot.

    I wish she went with rains and bonds in her last two spots

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • Glorious Mundy Jan 9,2014 12:51 pm || Up

      Alan Trammell, also a great candidate, but the overall numbers and lack of black ink hurt.

      Buh?

      • FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 9,2014 1:01 pm || Up

        I assume that means stat categories in which he led the league, as in the bold/highlighted numbers in a player’s baseball card stat rows signifying he was the league leader in that category that year.

        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
        • Glorious Mundy Jan 9,2014 1:02 pm || Up

          Bold and italics! Slusser must be a closet Topps-head.

        • andeux Jan 9,2014 1:03 pm || Up

          Yeah, baseball-reference uses that term, and I think it came from Bill James originally.

          TINSTAAFK
    • andeux Jan 9,2014 1:03 pm || Up

      Bonds/Clemens (and maybe find a spot for McGwire) if you’re not excluding roiders, Raines/Trammell if you are.
      Using only 8 spots in a year with 15-20 deserving candidates makes it a poor ballot in my book.

      TINSTAAFK
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 9,2014 1:04 pm || Up

      Hard to get past the steroid position she has landed on (although I guess I give her credit for not being as much of a moral rectitude scold as some of her colleagues). A ballot that includes Schilling and not Clemens is hard to embrace.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • Glorious Mundy Jan 9,2014 1:12 pm || Up

        I personally would vote for Bonds and Clemens (although, as I have said, FK that guy forever). But I’m fine with letting both of those guys stew for a few more years, since we know beyond a reasonable doubt that they cheated. It’s the people who are refusing to vote for Bagwell, Piazza, Biggio et al. despite no evidence against them at all that make me mad.

      • Future Ed Jan 9,2014 1:18 pm || Up

        I left Schilling off my deadspin ballot

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
        • Glorious Mundy Jan 9,2014 1:23 pm || Up

          Any reason other than him being Curt Schilling? I have a hard time not seeing him as an absolute inner-circle HOFer apart from his noxious personality and Red Sox martyrdom.

          • Future Ed Jan 9,2014 1:26 pm || Up

            no, just that. He should be a hall of famer.

            I just couldn’t do it.

            I have $5. No I don\'t.
          • andeux Jan 9,2014 1:37 pm || Up

            Not really “inner circle” to me.
            He was about as good overall as Mussina/Glavine, with more of an up and down career.
            Even if I had a real ballot I might leave him off, because there were 10+ players who you could make a case for being at least equally deserving. (Whereas, as you imply, you couldn’t really do that for Clemens, no matter how much you loathe him.)

            TINSTAAFK
            • Glorious Mundy Jan 9,2014 1:48 pm || Up

              He had kind of a slow start to his career, and then he fell off the cliff early because of injuries, but he had a such a dominant and sustained peak, and the postseason stuff really matters to me:

              11-2, 2.23, 4.8 K/BB, 4 CG (2 SHO)

              That is just off the charts great.

    • Glorious Mundy Jan 9,2014 1:08 pm || Up

      I don’t really get the stathead hype for Raines. On the other hand, Andre Dawson is in…

    • lenscrafters Jan 9,2014 3:48 pm || Up

      Sort of related: Guy who turned his ballot over to Deadspin has been banned from HOF voting.

      • AV Jan 9,2014 3:56 pm || Up

        he’ll just change his name and be back next year. look for rick le baguette or jimmy le pain de mie.

        but seriously, what was the resulting vote he turned in? haven’t seen it yet. just wondering if the deadspin masses did better than the accredited messeurs.

        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
        • andeux Jan 9,2014 4:05 pm || Up

          It was quite good:
          Bonds, Clemens, Maddux, Glavine, Thomas, Bagwell, Piazza, Biggio, Edgar, Schilling.

          Meanwhile people who left off Maddux, or who voted for Armando Benitez or Jacque Jones, get to keep voting.

          TINSTAAFK
          • 5Aces Jan 9,2014 4:06 pm || Up

            This. Or voted for no one but Jack Morris.

            Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
          • elcroata Jan 9,2014 9:58 pm || Up

            So much this

            Because survival is insufficient
        • 5Aces Jan 9,2014 4:05 pm || Up

          I havent looked at it, but from what I have heard it was pretty sensible. And of course certainly better than saying “I am leaving off all those from a random era and only voting for one person who also played in tht same era because I want to”.

          Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
          • MikeV Jan 9,2014 4:13 pm || Up

            “even though I’ve previously voted for people who played in that era”

            And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

            Thanks, and go As.

          • Future Ed Jan 9,2014 5:24 pm || Up

            it is actually not sensible. the BBWAA has a process and it wasnt followed. Further, the punishment is not perscribed by the constitution of the BBWAA

            but it is what we all suspected would happen

            I have $5. No I don\'t.
            • AV Jan 9,2014 5:38 pm || Up

              sensible in terms of who the deadspin people voted for. as in, no process-stopping protest picks or write-ins for bozo the clown or whatever.

              *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
              • 5Aces Jan 9,2014 5:52 pm || Up

                Yeah this. The ballot made sense and no votes for Fred Merkle just because they wanted to talk about boners.

                But yes, the punishment is stupid and I wonder if there is any spcific rule that says you cannot let others influence your vote. If so they should all be cast out by now.

                Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
                • Future Ed Jan 9,2014 6:00 pm || Up

                  there have been writers who asked for input. SuSlu, to her credit, says she is willing to listen to arguments about PED people.

                  I have $5. No I don\'t.
                • Future Ed Jan 9,2014 6:01 pm || Up

                  and yeah, I read your comment too quickly. needed to get the kids

                  I have $5. No I don\'t.
                • lenscrafters Jan 10,2014 12:51 am || Up

                  As Deadspin notes in their followup, the BBWAA is perfectly fine if a writer allows other people to decide how they vote — they just have to be part of the Club and not the unwashed, mom’s basement-dwelling masses who dare to intrude upon Sacred Ground.

                • elcroata Jan 10,2014 1:33 am || Up

                  The loudest critics come from the fine pens of Shaughnessy and Heyman. Why am I not surprised?

                  Because survival is insufficient
            • FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 9,2014 7:13 pm || Up

              I’m not immersing myself in all the detail of this, but it’s not clear to me exactly what BBWAA rule they claim was broken.

              Beyond that, of course, their draconian reaction serves only to bolster Deadspin’s point that the BBWAA is so lost in their own self-importance on this subject that they’re completely out of touch.

              "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
              • Future Ed Jan 9,2014 7:33 pm || Up

                there is no rule that was broken. Except article VIII: DOn’t acknowledge deadspin

                I have $5. No I don\'t.
                • andeux Jan 9,2014 7:44 pm || Up

                  It does seem that way. But it also kind of seems like the way Deadspin did it was trolling for that reaction.

                  TINSTAAFK
                • Future Ed Jan 9,2014 7:58 pm || Up

                  it sure does look that way. It doesn’t seem like anyone looked at the BBWAA constitution until after the BBWAA said they could suspend him based on the by laws.

                  I have $5. No I don\'t.
              • Soaker Jan 9,2014 7:46 pm || Up

                It sure sounds like the Chief Administrator stepping in and making a unilateral decision without regard to the thoughts of any moderators.

                What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
                • Future Ed Jan 9,2014 7:59 pm || Up

                  Mr. I don’t vote for Pitchers for MVP, but I will vote for roiders says email me

                  I have $5. No I don\'t.
        • lenscrafters Jan 9,2014 4:07 pm || Up
          • AV Jan 9,2014 4:15 pm || Up

            nice. thank you.

            *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  25. FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 9,2014 1:08 pm
    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • AV Jan 9,2014 1:12 pm || Up

      and now, each night i count the stars.
      and each night i get the same number.
      and when they will not come to be counted,
      i count the holes they leave.

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  26. sslinger Jan 9,2014 3:40 pm

    So, for those of you who know Santa Cruz, did you realize there’s a Pacific Cookie Company store now open on Telegraph in Berkeley?!?! Dang, that’s dangerous.

  27. AV Jan 9,2014 4:12 pm

    punk people, this documentary rules. spoiler. (has someone mentioned it? sorry if repost.)

    full of awesome/embarrassing moments. nuggets include ian mackaye scooping ice cream at hagen daz / minor threat practicing in their basement. great show footage. a slam dancing how-to video. mike ness explaining how to wear sympathetic eyeliner.

    must listen to the different commentaries though! helps sort through the editing mistakes and various misinformation or behind the scenes secrets.

    *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • Future Ed Jan 9,2014 5:25 pm || Up

      that’s classic

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • Future Ed Jan 9,2014 6:02 pm || Up

      I like the montreal parts. not the racism (that I think is there), but the whole scene and cute buildings looks adorable

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
      • AV Jan 9,2014 6:20 pm || Up

        that girl saying, “he can’t even get a hardón” with a french accent is probably the most adorable bit.

        but yeah, there’s a lot of wince-worthy racism, sexism, homophobia, and etc-isms of kids with still a lot to learn and develop. even when they’re just eating communal chili the movie looks young in punk years. like, NO VEGAN OPTIONS???

        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • Future Ed Jan 9,2014 6:17 pm || Up

      reading the Wiki page reminds me of when I was “vacationing” with a friend who went to high school in st cloud Minnesota.

      three of us decided to drive from SoCal one drunken night in 1989. the next morning we got into my friend’s 1982 dodge colt hatchback and drove straight there. the next night we saw some punks walking around town. Tjinking they would know some fun stuff to do and flipped the car around and shouted at them. At which time the terrified kids took off in different directions.

      It took us a bit to coral them and convince them that we were not there to hurt them, we just wanted to see a good show and hang out.

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
      • AV Jan 9,2014 6:22 pm || Up

        funny.

        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 9,2014 7:16 pm || Up

        I’m not clear from your comment where you drove to from SoCal…Minnesota? Montreal?

        Driving an only 7-year old car they clearly thought your were bourgeois posers.

        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
        • dmoas Jan 9,2014 7:28 pm || Up

          Mexico in a cop car.

        • Future Ed Jan 9,2014 7:33 pm || Up

          St. Cloud Minnesota

          I have $5. No I don\'t.
          • FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 9,2014 7:41 pm || Up

            And you got there the next day? That’s some awesome road trip driving.

            "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
            • Future Ed Jan 9,2014 8:00 pm || Up

              30 hours? its a guess. “next night, in only the loosest sense. Not the actual next night. But to be fair, drugs and alcohol made the timeline fuzzy

              I have $5. No I don\'t.
              • brian.only Jan 9,2014 8:02 pm || Up

                Heh, I knew there had to be something, that’s like 2,000 miles!

                • Future Ed Jan 9,2014 8:22 pm || Up

                  google maps says 28 hours. On the way there we went through nebraska. that sucked.

                  Went through SD on the way back. much better.

                  PS the Missouri river is fucking huge.

                  I have $5. No I don\'t.
                • FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 9,2014 8:45 pm || Up

                  On my circle the nation drive in 1995, South Dakota cops pulled me and my buddy over for no reason other than to try to find a pretense to arrest us. One trick the first cop tried (of the eventual four highway cruisers on scene) was to put us both in his car with his radio on broadcast, in the hopes that one of us would say something like “God I sure hope he doesn’t find our stash!”

                  Fortunately, we sussed out the radio trick, and our stash place was so brilliantly conceived that they could find nothing, and after we were given permission to leave we exited the highway and headed into the Badlands to camp before they pull us over again with the sniff dog on site, which we were certain was only moments away. Fuck South Dakota. Though the Badlands are mighty beautiful.

                  "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
                • Future Ed Jan 9,2014 8:51 pm || Up

                  that is horrifying. and of course illegal.

                  Man, remember when you worried about having weed on you? I can’t imagine anymore. My police reports usually start like this:
                  “I asked if he had anything illegal on his person. he replied “just some weed,” which I knew from my training and experience to mean that he possessed marijuana.”

                  I have $5. No I don\'t.
                • FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 9,2014 9:04 pm || Up

                  I used to have incredibly well-honed self-preservation instincts when it came to carrying weed and dealing with The Man. After so many years of it not being a practical concern for me in CA, though, I worry that I’d forget how to be effectively paranoid if I found myself carrying someplace like Arizona (so most likely I just won’t).

                  "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
                • dmoas Jan 9,2014 9:06 pm || Up

                  Just invoke your right to remain silent.

                • FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 9,2014 9:12 pm || Up

                  Not enough. The problem with advice like “never consent to a search” and “don’t say anything” is that it’s meant to protect your legal interests over the days and months to come. Which is important, and correct, but if you’re a weed-toting hippie or punk a long way from home your most pressing interest is to make the hassle stop quickly and be allowed to go on your way. The skills to navigate both sets of interests at once and emerge un-busted are actually an intricate mix of instinct and experience. I’m most definitely happy that I don’t really need to have those skills at the ready all the time anymore, but I do on occasion reflect wistfully on the fact that I no longer have them.

                  "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
                • FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 9,2014 9:15 pm || Up

                  On the other hand, having aged into a seemingly respectable short grey haired homeowner has for the most part let me fly under the cop radar. That and, of course, being white.

                  "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
                • MikeV Jan 9,2014 9:20 pm || Up

                  also helps in arizona!

                  And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

                  Thanks, and go As.

                • elcroata Jan 9,2014 10:04 pm || Up

                  Now, if you only worked at HBSC, you cold even launder drug money for free.

                  Because survival is insufficient
                • DFA Jan 13,2014 6:31 am || Up

                  Pretty sure there is even a tax break!

                  In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
                • dmoas Jan 9,2014 9:08 pm || Up

                  A literalist would trash that quickly by saying he only admitted to having a plant of a nondescript nature that doesn’t belong on his person.

                • AV Jan 9,2014 10:58 pm || Up

                  hence the phrase “which I knew from my training and experience to mean.” cops don’t talk like they do by accident. it’s legal training too.

                  *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
                • dmoas Jan 10,2014 7:13 am || Up

                  The literalist is NOT a lawyer. And occasionally spends time in jail.

                • nevermoor Jan 10,2014 11:12 am || Up

                  Unfortunately that is a powerful phrase. I once saw it ding a guy who was carrying ~$200 in small bills, which the officer knew from his training and experience to mean drug sales.

                  Dude was a barber.

                  "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
                • dmoas Jan 9,2014 9:05 pm || Up

                  Now you’d respond my asking if you can go online to post to FK so you can contact your attorney.

                • AV Jan 9,2014 11:44 pm || Up

                  2000, driving a 15ft rental truck westbound toward dodge city, i start spotting pulled over cars every 3-5 minutes on the opposite side of hwy 50. i’m like, this is coptrap territory. so i grab my tiny baggie from a non-careful spot, lift up my bum, and squish it deep into a hole i had noticed before in the seat’s foam rubber. defense: deny deny deny; if found, who knows how many drivers ago that’s been there??

                  shortly after or maybe just before that (ed mentioned something about fuzzy timelines), and i don’t know why in particular i said it, maybe to ease the tension of waiting to get pulled over by having fun instead of being grimly punk, i tell my best friend and crabby co-pilot, “don’t mind if i f*g out for a sec” (i’m embarrassed writing that, so apologies go with it, but it’s historically accurate and relevant), and pop depeche mode speak and spell in the tape player. i turn up the volume and sing along with abandon till we get the fuck out of dodge. my friend pretends to go to sleep. we don’t get pulled over.

                  that night we stop in santa fe at friends of a friend’s, just to stay the night. casual house, 3 people, one’s gotta work early, the other two can hang out for a while, we’re beat and tense from driving, and i just wanna zone out and go to sleep. so i ask if they have weed. they don’t. i’m like, OK, i’ll go get mine. my friend gives me a horrific look. he says, “you think it’s OK?” i go, “huh?” so i go outside, which only prompts another odd look from him. it takes me a sec to dig it out. i go back in the house, unfurl the crumpled baggie, load one, and pass it. i smoke with the residents, my friend… refrains. with wrinkle-nosed displeasure. i pass out.

                  next morning i’m finally, “OK, WHAT??” he goes, “dude… you had it up your butt! how can you smoke that??”

                  (’cause, you see… i had said f*g out… and things in butts, and… you get it right?)

                  after we sorted it out, he said, “you know what was really weird was that you went outside to go get it and not to the bathroom.”

                  *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
                • Future Ed Jan 10,2014 12:07 am || Up

                  I love the confusion of why you would go outside.

                  I have $5. No I don\'t.
                • elcroata Jan 10,2014 1:22 am || Up

                  good read

                  Because survival is insufficient
                • 5Aces Jan 10,2014 8:20 am || Up

                  lift up my bum, and squish it deep into a hole

                  That pretty much sums it up, right?

                  Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
                • Future Ed Jan 10,2014 8:23 am || Up

                  ask Jennifer about keestering photos

                  I have $5. No I don\'t.
                • nobody in particular Jan 10,2014 1:41 pm || Up

                  that was an awesome story, I admit I was riveted

                  Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
              • DFA Jan 13,2014 6:28 am || Up

                Did you bring ether?

                In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
        • Future Ed Jan 9,2014 7:56 pm || Up

          I tell people I ran over a pig outside the rendering plant in Des Moines.

          I did run over something, but was so whacked out on speed I have no idea what it was.

          I have $5. No I don\'t.
  28. lenscrafters Jan 10,2014 2:16 pm

  29. JediLeroy Jan 10,2014 4:10 pm

    WHY DOES EVERYONE PRONOUNCE PUNDIT WRONG

    az di bobe volt gehat beytsim volt zi geven mayn zeyde
    • AV Jan 10,2014 4:34 pm || Up

      because it sounds snobby and snobby sounds learned?

      (i’m assuming you agree with this and not with poon-dit.)

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  30. Future Ed Jan 10,2014 6:56 pm
    I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 10,2014 7:13 pm || Up

      Mr. Holland…Oh, pus!

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • Future Ed Jan 10,2014 7:29 pm || Up

        they say they won’t get tanaka, but the tigers said they wouln’t get fielder after martinez went down

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
        • FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 10,2014 7:32 pm || Up

          We will out-awesome them regardless.

          "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 12,2014 10:58 am || Up

      Holland says the injury happened when he was tripped by his dog, a boxer named Wrigley.

      Article also says Texas is considering Jerome Williams as a replacement in the rotation.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  31. brian.only Jan 10,2014 8:48 pm
  32. FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 11,2014 9:00 am

    Undaunted by last week’s 1-3 showing, I’ll fearlessly predict:

    Seattle -8 vs New Orleans. I’ll go with the bad weather, general Seattle home strength, and specifically the Seattle pass defense strength to keep Brees from having a very good day.

    Indy +7 at New England. Andrew Luck will not be badly beaten! My favorite of all the picks this week. If I were betting real money I might put some half the +7, and half on the +260 moneyline for the outright Colts win.

    SF -1 at Carolina. Very tempted by the home dog and the West-Coast-team-playing-early-game-back-East angles. But SF looked way too good last week to bet against them. Very much the look of a team ready to win a few in a row. Could be a blowout.

    Denver -9.5 vs San Diego. Will be a blowout.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • andeux Jan 11,2014 9:09 am || Up

      I salute your attempted jinxes of SF and Denver.

      TINSTAAFK
    • Soaker Jan 11,2014 9:56 am || Up

      I’ll take the other side of your Indianapolis bet. The weather in Seattle and Foxborough looks identical: mild temp around 50 but rainy and windy. I don’t like dome teams traveling into those conditions.

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
      • Soaker Jan 11,2014 3:01 pm || Up

        (as nicely illustrated by Drew Brees and the Saints offense in the first half)

        What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
    • dmoas Jan 11,2014 11:44 am || Up

      I see 3 coin flips and a laugher. They really should have started the games with Denver & SD just to get that out of the way. My prediction is other than the that one, it’ll come down to the final 5 minutes, possibly the final minute, to decide the outcome of the other three.

      • andeux Jan 11,2014 2:48 pm || Up

        It’s looking like they can go ahead and start the demolition of candlestick.

        TINSTAAFK
        • dmoas Jan 11,2014 6:51 pm || Up

          Helps when you make the mistake of throwing the ball to an idiot.

    • doctorK Jan 11,2014 8:20 pm || Up

      I really wish your second prediction had come true.

      • FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 11,2014 8:28 pm || Up

        The lesson, as always, is to never listen to FSU.

        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
        • Soaker Jan 11,2014 8:36 pm || Up

          I’m very tempted to walk down the street in the morning and put a C-note on the Panthers.

          What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
  33. elcroata Jan 11,2014 10:54 am

    A-Rod ruling

    For the 38-year-old Rodriguez, it means the loss of an entire season and $25 million in salary. The Yankees will gain $27.5 million worth of salary relief for luxury tax purposes, since the average annual value of his deal is what counts there.

    The fact that the Yankees are completely off the hook for 2014 — which was the sole purpose of the 211 games ban in the first place anyway — is disgusting, but expected.

    Because survival is insufficient
    • MikeV Jan 11,2014 11:00 am || Up

      Complete bullshit. I’m no A-Rod fan but the way Selig went about this is pure witch hunt.

      And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

      Thanks, and go As.

      • elcroata Jan 11,2014 11:21 am || Up

        Yup, I mean it is something when there is a dispute and you are seeing A-Rod’s point.

        Because survival is insufficient
      • dmoas Jan 11,2014 11:49 am || Up

        Disagree. I sincerely believe there was plenty of evidence to suggest he was extremely involved in all the accusations against them. The fact that none of the others fought their suspensions and ARod’s overall behavior and actions after the investigation started just adds to that. I think the players wanted the investigation just as much as Selig even if they didn’t necessarily agree with the sentence. While the 211 seems arbitrary, it was just the rest of last season + this season. MLB did quite a bit of bullying over this, but they were heavily criticized for not doing anything for several decades, how do you think people would perceive it if they took it easy again?

        • Future Ed Jan 11,2014 1:29 pm || Up

          fine maybe he was worse than hitler.

          There punishment provisions were 50 games 100 game or lifetime.

          I have $5. No I don\'t.
          • MikeV Jan 11,2014 1:33 pm || Up

            Those are the punishments for failing a test which he still hasn’t ever done.

            They are literally suspending him for a season just because they want to. There is apparently some verbage in the CBA that says the commish can suspend anybody at any time for any reason.

            And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

            Thanks, and go As.

            • Jennifer Jan 11,2014 3:38 pm || Up

              b-A-nN-E-d!

            • Future Ed Jan 11,2014 4:57 pm || Up

              sure, the commissioner can wield the ban hammer indiscriminately. But there is no process for appeal in those cases. the only process for appeal is for failing a drug test.

              so if it were a selig directed ban, no appeal. if it was a PED ban, appeal OK. There was an appeal, therefore, it was a PED sanction. Of which they have no authority

              I have $5. No I don\'t.
            • dmoas Jan 11,2014 6:55 pm || Up

              It wasn’t for no reason. It was for being involved with both using (which failed tests are only one part of) as well as “selling” to others (in bringing other players to the guy). Clearly if 50/100/lifetime were the only options available, the arbirater would have select one of those options instead of a full season. And if there were no valid reason to suspend him at all, he would have opted to nullify the suspension. If there were no proof of any of this, there’s no way the suspension would have been upheld. Nor would he actively acted like a jackass if he knew he were truly innocent.

              • DFA Jan 13,2014 6:40 am || Up

                The arbiter works for the mlb.

                In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
          • DFA Jan 13,2014 6:39 am || Up

            I cant see how they win in federal court.

            In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
            • Future Ed Jan 13,2014 7:36 am || Up

              if “they” is Rodriguez, yes his goose is cooked already

              I have $5. No I don\'t.
              • nevermoor Jan 13,2014 10:27 am || Up

                Yup. No court will ever look at the merits of an arbitration award.

                "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
        • MikeV Jan 11,2014 1:29 pm || Up

          I’m not defending him. I have no doubt he used PEDs and he’s disliked and all that.

          Regardless, Selig’s end game was to suspend Rodriguez for a season, however he managed to do it. The way they went about it is bullshit and it is clearly just Selig having an agenda.

          And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

          Thanks, and go As.

          • dmoas Jan 11,2014 6:56 pm || Up

            I don’t think that’s clear at all. It was over the top, but I don’t think it was either bullshit nor clear there was an agenda.

          • elcroata Jan 12,2014 4:46 am || Up

            Selig wins. Yankees win. Moral preachers like Tom Verducci win. Fuck this

            Because survival is insufficient
            • Dial C for Concupiscence Jan 13,2014 9:50 am || Up

              Agreed. The whole thing is some high horseshit

        • elcroata Jan 12,2014 9:05 am || Up

          Here is what bugs me, and possibly Ed and Mike, as well, written better than I could, and possibly, better than Mike or Ed could, as well.

          None of the questions we had in August as to how Selig arrived at a 211-game suspension have been answered. And there is nothing we’ve learned since then that explains how the arbitrator concluded that a 162-game suspension was justified under the express terms of the CBA and JDA.

          Because survival is insufficient
          • DFA Jan 13,2014 6:41 am || Up

            I agree.

            In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
      • Future Ed Jan 11,2014 1:27 pm || Up

        100% agree

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
  34. elcroata Jan 11,2014 10:55 am

    Also, Orange.

    Because survival is insufficient
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 11,2014 11:54 am || Up

      Carolina is really struggling, actually playing worse as the season has gone on. I hope Roy can right the ship soon, because this has been hard to watch. If they don’t light it up from outside they have no chance against even mediocre teams like Wake and Miami, much less a strong team like Syracuse.

      Also, it’s very weird thinking of the Cuse as a conference rival now.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • elcroata Jan 12,2014 4:50 am || Up

        Yeah, I hope they bounce back quickly. I like NC and hope they beat Duke, if nothing else.

        Because survival is insufficient
  35. FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 11,2014 11:54 am

    Off to the softball field!

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  36. Soaker Jan 11,2014 5:56 pm

    I’ve always meant to play the Dan Dierdorf Drinking Game (every time he says the word “football”) and tonight is the final chance. 1 drink during the pre-kickoff tease, and then 8 drinks during the first quarter. I think Dan is just warming up (and so am I).

    What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 11,2014 6:24 pm || Up

      At the moment passing out courtesy of Dierdorf sounds better than watching the continuing Bradeification and the attendant happy Massholes.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • Soaker Jan 11,2014 6:44 pm || Up

        As expected, Dan picked it up with 17 drinks in the second quarter for a total of 26 at halftime.

        I hadn’t thought about it before but Dierdorf also has a bit of Cotroneo’s “The reality is…” There have been several of those.

        The main lesson is, good grief it is hard to pay close attention to somebody like Dierdorf. I usually allow that to be background noise.

        What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
        • FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 11,2014 6:46 pm || Up

          He will not be missed. This is his last game ever, right?

          "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
          • Soaker Jan 11,2014 7:19 pm || Up

            “Smash-mouth football!” “Good old-fashioned power football!” Yes, this is his final game. He’s like Fosse working radio, thinks he has to fill every nanosecond when the play-by-play guy isn’t speaking. I admire Greg Gumbel for tolerating his style.

            What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
        • andeux Jan 11,2014 6:53 pm || Up

          I’ve mostly had it on mute.

          TINSTAAFK
  37. FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 11,2014 6:38 pm

    It occurs to me that the Pats punter almost managed to turn that bad snap into an incomplete pass, which would have been a really clever play if he had pulled it off.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • nevermoor Jan 11,2014 10:41 pm || Up

      I think that’s what all the discussion was about. There was a receiver there, so no grounding.

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  38. Future Ed Jan 11,2014 7:16 pm

    this whole thing is worth watching, but I thought it was funny to think that maybe, just maybe in 2003? 2004? Don Zimmer may have been senile and thought pedro martinez was Mario soto

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
  39. FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 12,2014 11:03 am

    Photos from the set of the original Star Wars, as posted and hilariously captioned by the guy who played Chewbacca.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • Future Ed Jan 12,2014 11:20 am || Up

      where are the a clockwork orange photos?

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
      • FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 12,2014 12:00 pm || Up
        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • East Bay Evans Jan 13,2014 10:59 pm || Up

        Why not both?

        • East Bay Evans Jan 13,2014 11:00 pm || Up

          Huh, images are hard to post. Maybe this will work:

          • ptbnl Jan 13,2014 11:19 pm || Up

            Fixed it for you – pasting the url into the pop-up generated by the img button should work.

            If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
          • Future Ed Jan 14,2014 12:24 am || Up

            HAVE SOME MORE WINE.

            (its remarkable how many lines from that movie I have instant recall too considering I felt that I should not obsessively watch it open and notoriously in my house growing up.

            Also, I remember hearing about the movie, and since we could not just rent it like we can now, I opted to read the book, which was bolshi great yarblockos, or whatever)

            I have $5. No I don\'t.
            • East Bay Evans Jan 14,2014 7:52 am || Up

              Yeah, love the Wine scene.

              I always get a kick out the fact that the writer’s bodyguard (the colorized dude) is David Prowse, the same guy who played Darth Vader.

              • FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 14,2014 8:31 am || Up

                Whoa, I never knew that!

                "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
                • AV Jan 14,2014 9:52 am || Up

                  ed taught me that.

                  *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  40. elcroata Jan 12,2014 12:48 pm

    Does it seem to anyone else that Cam Newton is just badly out of shape?

    Because survival is insufficient
    • MikeV Jan 12,2014 3:06 pm || Up

      He’s been getting the hell kicked out of him for 3 years. He takes a LOT of big hits

      And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

      Thanks, and go As.

      • elcroata Jan 13,2014 1:19 am || Up

        Sure, but it looked as if he were gasping for air, not hurting, lot of the times.

        Because survival is insufficient
    • doctorK Jan 13,2014 10:34 am || Up

      I don’t know about his physical shape, but mentally he gave away Carolina’s last shot in that game, by taking two sacks Matt Flynn-style, while his team was still in FG range.

  41. batgirl Jan 12,2014 4:55 pm

    Not a blowout, but I’ll take it!

    • nevermoor Jan 12,2014 7:05 pm || Up

      That’s how I felt too. I like a game with some mid-game drama but a calm resolution.

      Scared to death of Seattle next week, but I am confident we’ll play better than we did last time.

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
      • batgirl Jan 12,2014 7:12 pm || Up

        Yeah, I’m in the same boat with the Pats–very nervous about facing them again. I sure hope our home crowd can make a difference. Seemed to be approaching the “old days” loud at Mile High today so I hope the crowd brings it next weekend as well.

      • Dial C for Concupiscence Jan 13,2014 9:54 am || Up

        Me too. Seattle scares me more than Denver or New England.

        • nevermoor Jan 13,2014 10:28 am || Up

          I think the Niners have a MUCH better shot in the Super Bowl than the Seahawks do (which isn’t to say we’d be favorites or anything), but I just don’t see us getting there. Hope I’m wrong.

          "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
          • MikeV Jan 13,2014 10:30 am || Up

            It’s possible. Wilson hasn’t been playing that well and I think that the defense can somewhat contain Lynch.

            And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

            Thanks, and go As.

            • nevermoor Jan 13,2014 2:53 pm || Up

              Possible, sure, but if the line were even I’d put my money on them.

              "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 12,2014 9:06 pm || Up

      It should have been a blowout, Denver thoroughly outplayed San Diego, who benefited from that fluke INT at the end of the first half. Also, SD’s kicker has the best onside kick I’ve ever seen.

      Same with the Seattle game really…the better team played as predicted, but gave up late scores which allowed the underdog to cover. Bad way to make a living, gambling. Good thing I’m pretty.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • elcroata Jan 13,2014 1:21 am || Up

        Not betting, but I wonder if Marshawn Lynch ever thaught what he wanted to with that last run. Had he slid in the field of play after securing the first down that game would have been over.

        Because survival is insufficient
        • andeux Jan 13,2014 10:42 am || Up

          Thinking is not Marshawn Lynch’s strong suit.
          More seriously though, if trying not to score is the right play (as it was in that situation), it has to be the coaches’ responsibility to figure that out and communicate it to the players.

          TINSTAAFK
      • nevermoor Jan 13,2014 10:29 am || Up

        Agreed on the kicker point. Which is why you FKING ONSIDE KICK AGAIN instead of hoping to stop the best offense in the NFL.

        "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  42. doctorK Jan 12,2014 9:52 pm

    Fail, Southwest style. They’re going to have some fun getting the airplane to the right airport.

  43. AV Jan 13,2014 10:03 am

    balon d’or viewing guide:

    adriana is the brunette. fernanda the blonde. ronaldo is the round one. c ronaldo is… gonna win(?)

    *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • AV Jan 13,2014 11:02 am || Up

      RC7 gets it.

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • ptbnl Jan 13,2014 11:03 am || Up

        Boooo.

        If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
      • AV Jan 13,2014 11:08 am || Up

        and he came off rather well, not acting as if he’d been there before.

        though speaking of being there before, i think they recycled lio’s 2013 tux into fuleco’s 2014 bowtie.

        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  44. andeux Jan 13,2014 10:12 am

    Here come those santa ana winds again.

    TINSTAAFK
    • AV Jan 13,2014 10:30 am || Up

      ah yes. my favorite line from, “they’re making frijoles for dinner again??; or, the real story behind the massacre at the alamo,” by col. james “you can cut the air with a knife” bowie and davy “slow cooker” crockett.

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  45. ptbnl Jan 13,2014 10:41 am

    Epic fail

    If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
    • Glorious Mundy Jan 13,2014 10:44 am || Up

      I love the keeper’s little fist pump, as if he had anything to do with what happened.

      • nevermoor Jan 13,2014 2:53 pm || Up

        That’s a standard NFL DB move too.

        "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • AV Jan 13,2014 10:59 am || Up

      ballon d’air.

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • ptbnl Jan 13,2014 11:03 am || Up

        he certainly made a messi of it.

        If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
        • AV Jan 13,2014 11:11 am || Up

          fun translation fact, his name‘s kinda redundant.

          *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  46. ptbnl Jan 13,2014 11:40 am
    If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
    • PDXAthleticsfan Jan 13,2014 11:52 am || Up

      Methinks this has been posted before, but this seems more up-to-date, although with one misplaced PDX dot (Alameda should be just north and east of the Portland close-close up, just to the left of Fire on the Mountain (whom I didn’t know had taken up brewing in addition to Wingzzzzzz).

      A soliloquy of fresh-sounding ideas which would probably be disastrous.
      • AV Jan 13,2014 12:43 pm || Up

        last time the PDX error was across a river, so it looks like they got better? this time, they have jupiter in orinda, so they can still get better.

        tentative ptbnl bait. i guess only one of these will brew in-house. not sure if good hop is just a beer store or beer-making supplies too. anyway, at least one more dot needs to go on that map soon. close. closer. and a rest stop inbetween.

        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
        • ptbnl Jan 13,2014 12:47 pm || Up

          A whole 6 blocks away … jeez!

          If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
        • andeux Jan 13,2014 12:58 pm || Up

          Jupiter isn’t really a brewery anyway. Their house beers are brewed at Drakes.

          TINSTAAFK
        • andeux Jan 13,2014 1:11 pm || Up

          Speaking of which, I haven’t heard anything more about this other planned beer garden in uptown Oakland.

          TINSTAAFK
          • AV Jan 13,2014 1:24 pm || Up

            i’ve been keeping my eye on that too. 23rd/b’way has been under construction for a while, and the main tenant is going to be oakland hub, with about 2 or 3 adjacent buildings’ worth of 2-story space. since this article mentions a complex of businesses, i can’t quite tell yet if the original plan to have beer and food got out-bid by hub, or if the hub development includes these. construction’s been going well there and i peek in to see if there are any bar-like fixtures, but they’re only just done with interior walls/electrical. wait and see, i guess.

            *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
            • FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 13,2014 1:33 pm || Up

              Plan still includes a Drakes Brewery, last I heard.

              "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
              • AV Jan 27,2014 11:28 am || Up

                oakland hub, and drakes, and numi, and… 104 apartments?? there goes the hipsterhood… i wonder if that market hall sign on the façade rendering is a brand name or just a descriptor like urban retail next to it.

                http://www.signaturedevelopment.com/project/the-hive/
                (bad site, the sideways slider is tricky.)

                over/under on new residents banning first friday because it brings a bad element? i (partly) kid, i (partly) kid. there’s a whole tower of newish apartments across the street and they seem to shuttle in and out of their gated parking garage without disturbing the area too much. on the other hand, hatch gallery has already lost its lease. rumor has it, to the ex-momma scuzz / current telegraph sausage landlord, who wants to put in a coffee shop there.

                *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
        • brian.only Jan 13,2014 8:05 pm || Up

          We are so wonderfully screwed, post-games are going to be epic.

    • Soaker Jan 13,2014 2:58 pm || Up

      There’s an impressive correlation between the number of breweries in Arkansas and Mississippi and the rankings of those two states on the dick-size list.

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
  47. FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 13,2014 12:36 pm

    A’s to cheap fans: Fuck you, we’d rather sell your tickets to brokers.

    $2 Wednesday tickets go on sale this week, on Weds 1/15. Plaza Reserved only. Online sales only. “Convenience” fees mandatory. Fucking assholes.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • elcroata Jan 13,2014 12:47 pm || Up

      I’m not implying that it’s anybody’s fault, but Partner ID in this link is Ed

      Because survival is insufficient
    • Future Ed Jan 13,2014 1:08 pm || Up

      I get it. it sucks, but that picture of the woman holding the BART ticket makes me so so incredibly excited for baseball watching season at the coliseum.

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
      • Future Ed Jan 13,2014 1:10 pm || Up

        the one in the hat. I didn’t notice the other woman.

        I don’t know what makes that picture so much better than the others

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • Englishmajor Jan 13,2014 1:10 pm || Up

      That sucks. They should at least do a whole-season $2 Wednesday package with a single fee.

      • brian.only Jan 13,2014 8:07 pm || Up

        the ‘convenience’ fee will be more than the fking games…

        • Dial C for Concupiscence Jan 14,2014 9:13 am || Up

          Add in processing, handling, delivery, preemptive restocking, hidden, and plastic bag fees, and it’s almost like they’re trying to phase out $2 tickets altogether!

          • MikeV Jan 14,2014 9:23 am || Up

            The 2 dollar ticket that costs 11 bucks.

            And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

            Thanks, and go As.

    • MikeV Jan 13,2014 1:51 pm || Up

      Only 3 night games.

      And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

      Thanks, and go As.

    • brian.only Jan 13,2014 8:06 pm || Up

      I was so pissed at that email today…
      My Wednesday game buddy and I already had a date for fanfest…

  48. Glorious Mundy Jan 13,2014 4:02 pm

    Nice hat, fields his position well. Needs to improve his velo.

    • Glorious Mundy Jan 13,2014 4:02 pm || Up

      Er, let’s try that again.

      • FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 13,2014 4:50 pm || Up

        Steph wouldn’t need velocity, he would surely have Maddux-like precision.

        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  49. AV Jan 13,2014 5:13 pm

    i didn’t believe there was anything wrong with his shoulder, given that cardassian physiology of his. otoh, those necky totalitarians aren’t really known for strong knees or wrists.

    *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  50. AV Jan 13,2014 9:16 pm

    i’m sure all you TV-totin’ folks already know via ads, but i just found out ESPN is focusing their sports documentaries on soccer (no brainer this year). two features, six 30-minuters, and assorted vignettes. i love the ESPN series already. can’t! wait! for more!

    especially for the feature on one of my early favorites, osvaldo ardiles, who is no stranger to good film already, but this one promises to one-up john huston by including repressive governments toying with the lives and deaths of players and citizens for their own petty agendas on *both* sides of the court.

    seriously. gimme some sports-culture-politics!!! (no matter how brutal it gets.) chile 1973, heights bar, hillsborough… i’m especially looking at you. (i doubt they get worse than the two escobars though.)

    *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • MikeV Jan 13,2014 11:44 pm || Up

      If they’re anything like the rest of the 30 for 30 series, they will rock.

      One of the few things ESPN did right.

      And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

      Thanks, and go As.

      • Glorious Mundy Jan 14,2014 9:32 am || Up

        For all of Bill Simmons’ ridiculousness, he knocked it out of the park with this.

      • AV Jan 14,2014 10:00 am || Up

        the irony is this dude is from the history channel and not ESPN.

        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
        • brian.only Jan 14,2014 7:20 pm || Up

          I always imagine this guy being a huge asshole while he rips huge lines between takes, the tanning, the mane of hair gel….

    • ptbnl Jan 13,2014 11:54 pm || Up

      I fear that the film that should be made about Hillsborough – including the depravities of the police and the tabloids – won’t get made.

      If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
    • AV Jan 20,2014 9:19 pm || Up

      oh man. apparently they’re still filming the ardiles one, and he, ricky villa, and the ESPN crew had a serious car crash on the malvinas islands today.

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • ptbnl Jan 20,2014 10:49 pm || Up

        So many layers to that story – including the role of the junta in the ’78 world cup (and vice versa).

        If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
        • AV Jan 20,2014 11:21 pm || Up

          ardiles’ story? or something more like this?

          *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
          • ptbnl Jan 20,2014 11:29 pm || Up

            Any story of Argentine soccer that ends with Ozzie crashing his car on the FalklandsMalvinas!

            If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
  51. Soaker Jan 14,2014 8:44 am

    Re the “10 terrible songs about San Francisco” thing on SFGate: I’ve heard Brett Dennen’s “Comeback Kid” on Radio Margaritaville quite a bit but somehow I was totally unaware of the content of that video until just now.

    In Soaker’s other pop culture news, there’s this awesome video of a couple guys ghostriding a Volvo.

    What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
    • Glorious Mundy Jan 14,2014 9:40 am || Up

      San Francisco music, both in terms of bands from it and songs about it, is basically terrible. I guess the Dead has some merit that I have never really been able to appreciate, but when the main claims to fame are Jefferson Airplane and a pretty boring Tony Bennett song, you have a shitty musical legacy.

      Of course the best song about San Francisco is really about Sausalito.

      • andeux Jan 14,2014 9:48 am || Up

        The Dead, the Airplane, Santana. For those with different taste, Metallica.
        On the other hand, Journey. Ew.

        TINSTAAFK
        • ptbnl Jan 14,2014 9:54 am || Up

          Both Deads (Grateful and Kennedys) … in fact why have I never seen a mash-up Grateful Dead Kennedys band?

          If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
          • ptbnl Jan 14,2014 9:56 am || Up

            Clearly because I haven’t looked hard enough.

            If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
          • andeux Jan 14,2014 9:59 am || Up

            The shirts are ready.

            TINSTAAFK
            • ptbnl Jan 14,2014 10:03 am || Up

              You expect me to remember stuff?

              If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
        • Glorious Mundy Jan 14,2014 10:06 am || Up

          Metallica’s an Oakland band. Santana bores me to tears for some reason.

          • AV Jan 14,2014 10:19 am || Up

            the reason is probably “noodling dinosaur.”

            what’s the sausalito song?

            flamin’ groovies, man!

            and SF did pretty well with punk and experimental.

            ran across this record this weekend. fits here:

            *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
            • andeux Jan 14,2014 10:23 am || Up

              Also, the Tubes.

              TINSTAAFK
            • Glorious Mundy Jan 14,2014 10:23 am || Up

              (Sittin’ On) The Dock of the Bay

              • AV Jan 14,2014 10:31 am || Up

                ah. i almost said, what’s the sausalito song and is it better than dock of the bay?

                i enjoy the marin song. sometimes i wish my granma wasn’t the one singing it though.

                *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
              • Soaker Jan 14,2014 11:24 am || Up

                I’ve never approved of the other one because considering dumping a car in the Bay just because the engine is thumping like a disco shows astonishing environmental insensitivity.

                What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
        • FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 14,2014 11:08 am || Up

          Also Janis Joplin, whose heyday was certainly tied to SF.

          Journey is so friggin awful, and my psyche dies a little every time they play that stupid song in the Coliseum at the start of fireworks shows.

          "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
        • danmerqury Jan 14,2014 2:59 pm || Up

          Sly and the Family Stone, Primus, Faith No More and Mike Patton, Huey Lewis and the News, Deafheaven…

          • AV Jan 14,2014 3:08 pm || Up

            in order:

            concord, el sobrante, nothing to brag about but yeah i guess i can recognize people like them, can i just say mr bungle and be done with it, sucks (but i’m only saying that because bed’s not around to get his feelings crushed), is no deerhoof.

            *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
            • AV Jan 14,2014 3:09 pm || Up

              though i’m technically wrong about the first one ’cause it’s the band and not just sly.

              *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
            • colin Jan 14,2014 5:53 pm || Up

              Deerhoof is a bay area band though!

              Also, aren’t Mr. Bungle from Eureka? I guess they probably moved down to the Bay Area at some point, especially since Patton was in FNM sort of concurrently (I’m not really sure of the timeline).

              • AV Jan 14,2014 6:20 pm || Up

                indeed about deerhoof. i was roomies with one of them in fruitvale shortly, though i met him when we were santa cruzers. what i was saying is that it’s a more interesting and less narrow SF representative than deafheaven (for bands named with portmanteaux that use similar letters).

                [wikies it.] you’re right about mr bungle. from eureka. as is mike patton. i was more going for, i can’t really stand patton’s entire deal and anybody who says they do should listen to a mr bungle song all the way through as punishment.

                *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
                • brian.only Jan 14,2014 7:30 pm || Up

                  I met my lady at a Deerhoof show!
                  Tower Of Power, The Coup, Latyryx, Digital Underground, Tune Yards, Heiroglyphics, Blackalicious, Neurosis, High On Fire, Raphael Saadiq, Tupac, Rogue Wave, Lovemakers, it goes on.

                • colin Jan 15,2014 12:45 am || Up

                  Well I love me some Deerhoof, but I have to disagree violently with you about Mike Patton. There are weak spots in the Mr. Bungle discography, but California is awesome. And I love Faith No More even though they inspired some of the worst music of the late nineties. And then on top of that, you get Fantômas, which is the best of the bunch IMO.

                • danmerqury Jan 15,2014 7:09 am || Up

                  Yep yep yep. California is a great record. You’ve also got Patton’s collaboration EP with The Dillinger Escape Plan, which is as flat-out insane as you’d expect.

                • AV Jan 15,2014 9:59 am || Up

                  a matter of taste then. i just don’t enjoy music built on persona-laden posturing. turns me off to about 3/4’s of tom waits too, and i realize that’s my loss. with patton, the loss is negligible. i just go to other sources those rare times i want circusy macabre, such as phantom limbs.

                  *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
                • brian.only Jan 15,2014 12:36 pm || Up

                  Awe man, I miss Phantom Limbs, used to have a practice spot kitty corner from them @ 20th and telegraph.

                • colin Jan 16,2014 5:23 pm || Up

                  Oh yeah, I love that Patton/DEP record, and Dillinger Escape Plan isn’t the sort of thing that I’m usually that into. The Aphex Twin cover is rad.

              • 5Aces Jan 14,2014 6:42 pm || Up

                Since I may never get a closer place/reason to post it, I also can say that the Bay Area is THE greatest hot spot for Drum Corps in the world. Half of the DCI open class World Titles have been split between


                (6+a tie)

                and

                (15, 2 ties, and a complete hose job in 1988 when they went undefeated all year and somehow came in 3rd at the finals.)

                Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
                • danmerqury Jan 14,2014 7:46 pm || Up

                  Seeing the Blue Devils pull off Channel One Suite is one of the greatest musical things I’ve ever seen. It’s jaw-dropping.

                • 5Aces Jan 15,2014 9:26 am || Up

                  So much this. The fact that they have used it 3 times to win a championship still amazes me. One of the most fun days I have had was going to Pasadena in 2007 to see the championships.

                  Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
      • Future Ed Jan 14,2014 10:39 am || Up
        I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • doctorK Jan 14,2014 10:56 am || Up

      The guy flames “Lights” for originally being about LA. In fact, the song sucks hard on its own accord. It would suck if it were about Cleveland, Detroit, New Orleans, Miami, Sao Paolo, Madrid, Paris, Moscow, New Delhi, Sydney, Novosibirsk, Budapest, Beograd, Rome, Oakland, (eh, you get the idea).

    • batgirl Jan 14,2014 2:06 pm || Up

      I really like Brett Dennen but I’d never seen that video either. Very cool. It probably relates to an interview I caught the tail end of many months ago on KFOG. He was basically saying he got to take his mom in to watch batting practice from behind the cages and she was super excited because she’s such a huge A’s fan.

  52. MikeV Jan 14,2014 11:15 am

    HEY DOG PEOPLE:

    anybody with experience with those invisible/electric fence things? I am having a SERIOUS problem with one of my doggies becoming an escape artist, and I’m basically at my wits end. I can get one of these kits for about 100 bucks and it’s enough to basically do my entire backyard perimeter so that they can still roam the whole yard, just not go up against the fence without being beeped at and then buzzed if they are too close.

    And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

    Thanks, and go As.

    • batgirl Jan 14,2014 5:44 pm || Up

      Sorry–no experience. We don’t even have a yard so my two are very rarely outdoors without leashes on. Yous are microchipped, I hope?

  53. doctorK Jan 14,2014 11:44 am
    • Soaker Jan 14,2014 11:48 am || Up

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
      • Future Ed Jan 14,2014 11:51 am || Up

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
        • Future Ed Jan 14,2014 11:58 am || Up

          (I didn’t scroll down and see the comparison. I swear)

          I have $5. No I don\'t.
          • AV Jan 14,2014 12:03 pm || Up

            “he’s half poochie dog
            and a third fonzarelli.”

            (it’s not plagiarism when it’s that obvious.)

            *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
        • Glorious Mundy Jan 14,2014 1:12 pm || Up

          Clark died on his way back to his home planet.

    • ptbnl Jan 14,2014 11:55 am || Up

      Presumably that’s supposed to be a bear cub, but jeez its bad.

      If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
    • Glorious Mundy Jan 14,2014 1:15 pm || Up
      • danmerqury Jan 14,2014 2:30 pm || Up

        I do love the original from the Deadspin article. Totally juvenile, but come on, it’s hilarious.

        (Er, probably shouldn’t open that at work.)

    • Glorious Mundy Jan 14,2014 1:29 pm || Up

      Relevant

      Citing allegations of trademark infringement, the League sent Weier a 100-plus page letter, ordering him to stop wearing the Billy Cub costume, and engaging in “unabated Mascot Activities.”

  54. Future Ed Jan 14,2014 12:01 pm
    I have $5. No I don\'t.
  55. MikeV Jan 14,2014 1:22 pm

    ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

    And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

    Thanks, and go As.

    • FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 14,2014 1:25 pm || Up

      AND NOTHING ELSE!

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • Englishmajor Jan 14,2014 5:11 pm || Up

        “I dinna know where ye’ve been, laddie, but ye won first prize.”

    • Glorious Mundy Jan 14,2014 1:26 pm || Up

      Kind of sweet of him to give us one last chance to jeer him in person.

    • Glorious Mundy Jan 14,2014 1:33 pm || Up

      Um…

      [The] idea came about, he said, in part because several clubs reached out to him after his announcement and asked to honor him, but also because Rivera’s farewell tour got Selig to thinking about ways to connect with people who love baseball.

      …is someone going to tell him that people actually like Rivera?

      • FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 14,2014 1:41 pm || Up

        “And in appreciation of his many years in the service of the game of baseball, the Oakland Athletics present to Commissioner Selig a lifetime supply of enemas!”

        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
        • ptbnl Jan 14,2014 1:45 pm || Up

          Whoa now … let’s not be hasty.

          I think we need a blue-ribbon committee to look into the whole issue of a farewell gift to the Commissioner, reporting some time in 2025.

          If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
          • Glorious Mundy Jan 14,2014 1:47 pm || Up

            In the meantime, he’s not allowed to leave the Coliseum.

            • PDXAthleticsfan Jan 14,2014 1:58 pm || Up

              He’ll be given a lifetime seat right next to the dugout bathroom.

              A soliloquy of fresh-sounding ideas which would probably be disastrous.
    • Glorious Mundy Jan 14,2014 1:53 pm || Up

      Even in the places where he isn’t lustily booed, the best case scenario is a larger-scale reenactment of Lumbergh’s birthday party in Office Space.

    • nobody in particular Jan 14,2014 2:50 pm || Up

      He shows up here and I will pie him right to his facetious little fuckface, with every camera in the East Bay rolling. The interviews I will give in jail will be the stuff of legend, I warn you all.

      Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
    • Dial C for Concupiscence Jan 14,2014 3:19 pm || Up

      Fake. Selig doesn’t know Oakland has a baseball team.

    • Glorious Mundy Jan 14,2014 3:43 pm || Up

  56. lenscrafters Jan 14,2014 1:43 pm
    • Glorious Mundy Jan 14,2014 3:33 pm || Up

      Can’t wait to see this guy’s “stand your ground” defense.

  57. Glorious Mundy Jan 14,2014 3:44 pm

    This makes me sad.

    • MikeV Jan 14,2014 3:52 pm || Up

      On a meta level, not really. Dude’s still only 30 and has 7 million bucks in the bank.

      And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

      Thanks, and go As.

      • Glorious Mundy Jan 14,2014 3:56 pm || Up

        I doubt he has anything close to that in the bank. That’s what he earned over his brief career before taxes, and surely he’s had to spend some of it on living.

        • MikeV Jan 14,2014 4:05 pm || Up

          In Stockton.

          So he’s got 3 million in the bank at age 30. Not a very big list of people that would turn that down.

          And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

          Thanks, and go As.

          • Glorious Mundy Jan 14,2014 4:12 pm || Up

            Maybe, maybe not. Either way, I’m still sad. I liked watching him pitch, and it sucks that he can’t do it anymore.

            • FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 14,2014 4:21 pm || Up

              Yeah, it sucks to lose the ability to do the thing that’s been your lifelong featured skill and probably favorite thing to do, regardless of the silver lining.

              Also, $3 million is not a “retire to a life of luxury at a youthful age” sum of money, at all.

              "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
              • doctorK Jan 14,2014 4:36 pm || Up

                Sounds like he’s pretty level-headed about the whole thing:

                You have to face your mortality one day, and I have been so blessed in this game. If I take 10 minutes to be hacked off about it, it would be nine minutes too long. You can’t ask for more than I’ve been given, coming where my grandmother and I are coming from.

                • AV Jan 14,2014 6:24 pm || Up

                  oh. i see. before, when i read that, i thought by 9 he meant 8. by hacked off he didn’t mean ticked off. and by minutes he meant toes.

                  *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
              • MikeV Jan 14,2014 6:24 pm || Up

                I’m not saying it is, but it’s a hell of a head start :)

                And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

                Thanks, and go As.

  58. andeux Jan 14,2014 4:44 pm

    Is this the campaign dfa is involved in?

    TINSTAAFK
    • DFA Jan 15,2014 9:00 am || Up

      No that measure is likely to exclude our workers.

      In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
  59. FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 14,2014 7:23 pm

    Probably the A-Rod MLB drug suspension issue didn’t need more discussion, but this is a pretty thorough and damning indictment of the MLB process which convicted him.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  60. doctorK Jan 15,2014 9:19 am

    Just a suggestion to SF – settle this quickly, ’cause you’re going to get savaged if it goes to court.

  61. batgirl Jan 15,2014 10:52 am

    Interesting article about getting an NFL field ready for play. (Upgrade, ignore the glorious incredibly hideous orange and blue logos.) I did not know about the shock absorption rules.

  62. ozzman99 Jan 15,2014 11:32 am

    2014 Detroit Auto Show. My own barely informed opinions: not a fan of the new Subaru WRX STi. It’s ugly, and why the carryover engine? Surely there’s more power and better fuel economy to be had from the new engine. Ford: I like the idea of lighter trucks, but is the frame still steel, or is that aluminum as well? Because repeatedly stressing aluminum causes fatigue. I question the long-term durability of a work truck with an aluminum frame. Love the Toyota FT-1 concept. Like, but don’t love, the new Corvette ZO6. It’s 200 lbs too heavy, and should have a naturally aspirated engine. And if you have to use forced induction, why not turbos instead of a Roots-type supercharger? Low end torque is not a problem for a big V-8. And it can easily spin 2 turbos, even at low rpms. Also, Chevy, how about an F1-style transmission?

  63. FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 15,2014 3:31 pm

    Berkeleyside takes a snapshot of the craft beer boom in the East Bay. Something I did not know (though I imagine many of you beer folks did): “…a year ago (they) expanded with The Trappist Provisions, a retail bottle shop with limited tap service on College Avenue on the Berkeley-Oakland border.” I will make use of this knowledge promptly.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • Soaker Jan 15,2014 4:05 pm || Up

      Is the sour beer place in West Berkeley (“The Rare Barrel”, link at bottom of your article) succeeding? When we discussed that previously it seemed to me they were aiming for a too-small niche.

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
  64. AV Jan 15,2014 8:51 pm

    janyary 3.

    january 15.

    t’sall i got.

    *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • Future Ed Jan 15,2014 10:29 pm || Up

      one guy is in his 50s, the other in his 20s

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • JediLeroy Jan 16,2014 10:33 am || Up

      Que la chupen.

      az di bobe volt gehat beytsim volt zi geven mayn zeyde
      • AV Jan 16,2014 10:44 am || Up

        i’m ready to get the shirt.

        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  65. nobody in particular Jan 16,2014 2:18 am
    Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
    • ozzman99 Jan 16,2014 10:25 am || Up

      It never ceases to amaze me that the people who criticize food stamps never bother to educate themselves on how the program actually works.

      • nobody in particular Jan 16,2014 4:40 pm || Up

        There isn’t any educating mass-murdering, delusional sociopaths whose “religious beliefs” state explicitly that their desired outcome is a “Rapture” where 99% of the population of this planet is violently exterminated. When they react to satirical articles on pot legalization with legislation to kill the satired behavior without even verifying it’s real, they show that what is real doesn’t matter to them — what matters is that “they” can be legally starved to death. Death is their desire, in all things and to all “others”. Plain, simple, perfect DEATH.

        Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
        • AV Jan 16,2014 5:30 pm || Up

          oh… i don’t know. that sounds kinda deep and complicated. i kinda just believe this is further manifestation of the age of instashallow indignation we’re all, leftists rightists and nonpoliticals alike, mired in.

          in this particular case, instead of liking and re-posting a link on FB with all-caps demands to know what the perpetual THEY are even thinking and/or all caps decries about how the perpetual THEY aren’t going to get away with it, she did the senatorial next-easiest-thing-to-reposting. it’s just that her level of reposting has… actual consequences.

          but we all do it. we’re all a bunch of emily litellas. i mean, just to quote one example out of millions, who didn’t fall for this one recently (and woulda passed legislature if possible)?

          *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
          • nobody in particular Jan 16,2014 10:42 pm || Up

            I want to be a cross between Emily Litella and Malcolm X.

            Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
            • AV Jan 17,2014 2:42 pm || Up

              by any nevermind necessary.

              *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
              • nobody in particular Jan 17,2014 8:08 pm || Up

                “I’m hearing a lot about This Criminal Nation these days… why are people always so negative?!? Of course there are BAAAAAD people who do BAAAAAD things, but there’s also good people, how come they never get any attention? It’s not like the whole country are lawbreakers, it’s just a few bad apples spoiling it for the rest of us. So think about it, before you say the whole United States is crroks, who make This Criminal Nation!”

                Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
                • AV Jan 17,2014 8:28 pm || Up

                  [puts on straight-man hat]

                  um… emperor?… it’s “discrimination.” people are complaining about discrimination.

                  *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
                • nobody in particular Jan 17,2014 9:49 pm || Up

                  Ohhhhh. NEVER MIND.

                  Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
  66. doctorK Jan 16,2014 8:38 am
  67. Glorious Mundy Jan 16,2014 12:34 pm

    I’m really enjoying the deep analyses this week of Jim Harbaugh’s pleated khakis. This is the best of the bunch, in my opinion.

    Once I got them home, I put a soccer ball into them just to see how far it would get down the pants leg. It stopped just under the knee.

  68. Glorious Mundy Jan 16,2014 12:49 pm

    ESPN announced the first 10 Sunday Night Baseball matchups of the season. Naturally every game features at least one of the Yankees, Red Sox, Dodgers and Cardinals. I was outraged about the A’s being left out until I got to this part:

    John Kruk and Curt Schilling re-unite as a “team” two decades after being teammates on the early-1990’s Philadelphia Phillies, who won the National League pennant in 1993.

    FK that. I’ll take Fosse.

    • elcroata Jan 16,2014 12:54 pm || Up

      {like}

      Because survival is insufficient
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 16,2014 2:01 pm || Up

      I could live with Kruk, seems like he’d be a good source of sordid clubhouse stories and fart jokes. With Schilling I can only hope that Rhode Island process servers enter the booth while he’s on the air and attach his earnings.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • Soaker Jan 16,2014 2:20 pm || Up

      You might get your Schilling soon enough anyway. The Sunday, June 1 Slegna @ Oakland game was briefly listed at 5 p.m. Pacific on the A’s website and is still listed as 8 p.m. Eastern on the MLB.com master schedule, so that game may be high on the SNB preference list. Although it doesn’t seem so, there is a limit to how often the Yankees and Red Sox can appear on SNB.

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
  69. AV Jan 16,2014 1:40 pm

    sorry. i keep googling but the answers are always just one step short of what i need. and my FB friends aren’t as smart as all a y’all.

    it’s about email, forwarding, and desktop clients.

    i have an AV.com (not the real name) domain and thus want my email to be AV@AV.com. due to small inbox limits, i need to then forward to @gmail, and use @gmail as my actual inbox/archive. no problem.

    when i reply, i don’t want my @gmail visible. i want my replies to be seen as coming from @AV. so i set up gmail’s “send mail as” and set it to send through my @AV SMTP. this works. but *only* as long as i use gmail’s web browser. fuck that though, i use a desktop email client (because connected to my mac apps). but when i send from my desktop client, people are still getting it as coming from @gmail.

    how do i send from my desktop client and still get it to say @AV.com?? it’s IMPERATIVE that my replies get saved in gmail archive, and i’m guessing that if i send from my desktop via my @AV.com SMTP, gmail will never see it at all and thus won’t get archived…

    anybody?

    *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 16,2014 1:57 pm || Up

      Um…the Aristocrats!

      Sorry, I’m useless for questions like this.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • AV Jan 16,2014 2:14 pm || Up

        that fixed it!!!

        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • andeux Jan 16,2014 2:05 pm || Up

      Per your last paragraph, if you want outgoing mail archived by gmail, I would think you would need to use the gmail SMTP server.
      “Update 3” from this link seems to describe how to do what you want, but it is several years old, so it’s possible that things have changed. Does the “make default” setting still exist? (I have a gmail account but don’t use it.)

      TINSTAAFK
      • andeux Jan 16,2014 2:09 pm || Up

        Oh, also according to this link even if that works your gmail address would still show up in the “sender” field even if it’s not in the “from” field.

        TINSTAAFK
        • AV Jan 16,2014 2:16 pm || Up

          i swear, the web is so jury rigged.

          but i’m trying!

          *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
          • nevermoor Jan 16,2014 6:31 pm || Up

            The problem is that what you’re wanting to do (send mail “from” one domain through another’s servers) is what spammers live on. Thus, email services try to make it impossible.

            "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
        • AV Jan 16,2014 2:22 pm || Up

          i think lifehacker acknowledges this too. that itals line at the end of the second ¶.

          guess i’ll send through my indy SMTP and set up a permanent BCC going to my gmail archive or something…

          *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  70. lenscrafters Jan 16,2014 2:35 pm
    • Soaker Jan 16,2014 2:48 pm || Up

      Another big change is that teams will be allowed to show replays, including those of disputed plays, on their in-park video boards.

      It’s about FKing time.

      As with the NFL I disagree with any limit on challenges as long as the coach/manager wins every one. Other than that, I’m sure there will be a few interminable-delay debacles, but similar to Obamacare I’ll try to keep an open mind while the wrinkles are being ironed out.

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
    • Dial C for Concupiscence Jan 17,2014 12:27 pm || Up

      Definitely positive steps. Not sure about using the NFL-style challenge system, but absolutely approve of expanding what can be reviewed and having a separate crew to handle the reviews.

      • FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 17,2014 12:59 pm || Up

        I hate the challenge system. Hate hate hate. I hope to be proven wrong, but my expectation is that the benefits of correctness will not outweigh the loss in game continuity, within my personal balancing equation.

        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
        • AV Jan 17,2014 2:37 pm || Up

          Because they won’t disturb the game as we know it.

          ≠

          If it is upheld, he retains his challenge but can never have more than two in a game. If the manager exhausts his challenges before the start of the seventh inning, he is out of luck, adding a new element of strategy to the game.

          *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  71. FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 16,2014 4:22 pm

    Wow, the Professor and Reuben Kinkaid both dying on the same day. Makes you think…about wacky hijinks!

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • nobody in particular Jan 16,2014 4:34 pm || Up

      Come on, get happy

      Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
    • Future Ed Jan 16,2014 6:17 pm || Up

      the jefferson/madison of their time

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
      • AV Jan 17,2014 2:41 pm || Up

        cervantes/shakespeare. (give or take a julian calendar.)

        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  72. colin Jan 16,2014 5:29 pm

    I had an interesting conversation while cleaning the bathroom down here at the South Pole. It started out with the dude asking me about the book I’m reading (Emma Goldman’s autobiography), moved on to him expressing his anarchist beliefs and his regret at being involved with a statist enterprise like the US Antarctic Program, and ended with him urging me to read up on Austrian economics.

    • Future Ed Jan 16,2014 6:18 pm || Up

      I had an interesting conversation while cleaning the bathroom down here at the South Pole.

      tagline!

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • andeux Jan 16,2014 6:47 pm || Up

      Being stuck at the South Pole with someone talking about Austrian economics is serious nightmare fuel.

      TINSTAAFK
    • ptbnl Jan 16,2014 10:41 pm || Up

      The winter-over community has to function as some kind of eco-anarcho-syndicalist collective, surely?

      If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
      • MikeV Jan 16,2014 11:24 pm || Up

        I understood a few of those words.

        And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

        Thanks, and go As.

        • AV Jan 17,2014 8:24 am || Up

          but don’t call me shirley?

          *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
        • Jennifer Jan 17,2014 3:38 pm || Up

          I love you. Fer realz.

      • colin Jan 17,2014 3:07 pm || Up

        That’s easier to pull off when your community is only 40 people and your food, shelter, fuel, etc, are all well stocked. (not so subtle dig on the practicality of anarchism)

        That said, they are currently way behind on fuel deliveries to pole. The ice runway at McMurdo is under a couple feet of water so they can’t land wheeled aircraft (C-17). That means that the LC-130, which can land on skis, are in heavy use for intercontinental flights and haven’t been able to keep up with flights to pole or to field camps. Basically everything is all FK’d up here until it gets colder, and then they will still have a lot of catch-up to do.

  73. ozzman99 Jan 16,2014 8:04 pm

    I thought a Philly cheesesteak is supposed to use white American…

    • nevermoor Jan 19,2014 7:28 pm || Up

      Wit Wiz.

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  74. AV Jan 17,2014 9:17 am

    i wonder if jerry’s gonna go with that old slogan: if it’s yellow let it mellow; if it’s brown flush it down.

    *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • AV Jan 17,2014 9:23 am || Up

      oh dang. forgot he was already guv during that slogan’s heyday. (can we puh-leez have a governor who doesn’t lead us into drought every goddamned time??)

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • ptbnl Jan 17,2014 9:44 am || Up

      Too limited … what about other colours? Let’s go with

      If it’s sterile let it sit;
      if it ain’t flush that shit.

      If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
      • AV Jan 17,2014 12:05 pm || Up

        true. i’ve left out too many gubernatorial colors. let’s see…

        if it’s schwarz(negger), give it steroids and make it bigger.

        if it’s gray (davis), let it float for a while and then dump it in medias res.

        if it’s (pat) brown, try to run it into the ground.

        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
        • Englishmajor Jan 17,2014 2:19 pm || Up

          If it’s Deukmajian, start coprophagein’.

          • AV Jan 17,2014 2:44 pm || Up

            huh. never knew it was possible to laugh while gagging.

            *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
          • nobody in particular Jan 17,2014 8:02 pm || Up

            I’m tempted to tagline this.

            Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
  75. Englishmajor Jan 17,2014 2:28 pm

    I am doing a bit of unworthy evil gloating over my coworkers in the social media/marketing department. They have been engaging in the stupid bet-with-someone-in-opposing-team’s-market schtick, and today they received the agreed-upon shipment of Carolina BBQ from the public radio station in Charlotte.
    Then they sent out a tweet saying they were enjoying the spoils of the Giants’ victory. (And quickly corrected it, but still!)

    • FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 17,2014 5:17 pm || Up

      Yum, Carolina barbeque. Not quite tasty enough to make it worth being a Niners fan, but still damn good.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 17,2014 5:18 pm || Up

      What would KQED have given up if the Niners had lost (and/or what will they lose if the Seahawks win Sunday)?

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • Future Ed Jan 17,2014 5:30 pm || Up

        can you ship smugness?

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
      • Englishmajor Jan 17,2014 6:32 pm || Up

        Sourdough, I imagine.
        WFAE also sent us some totebags, note pads, phone holders, bumper stickers, temporary tattooes, and a bunch of flat rectangular things with a drawing of a boom box on them which we all thought were luggage tags and got excited, but they turned out to be car air fresheners.

  76. FreeSeatUpgrade Jan 17,2014 5:18 pm

    One of you lazy FKers needs to make a new thread.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."

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