Leftovermagundi ← FREE KRAUT!

Leftovermagundi 319

A post-feast lounge/grill kinda thing. You can even rosterbate; there’s no judgment here.

The kids and I are eating apple pie for breakfast. The most important meal of the day, bitches!

Crazy hodge-podge of sporting events today, most of questionable value. I didn’t even attend the annual UNC-Duke football season finale when I went to school there, though it’d be nice to see the Heels drop a turd in the punchbowl of Duke’s uncharacteristically successful season. Alabama-Auburn promises great drama, which it will almost certainly not deliver. Stanford seems to have scheduled an easy home patsy to end the schedule on the Farm…is Notre Dame even a Division I program anymore?

Not much to like on today’s college hoops slate, though you Harvard folks get a rare chance to see your earnest chaps on TV (9:30 PM vs TCU).

Early risers and the DVR-enabled can catch the Sunday 4:00 AM start time of Manchester United at Tottenham Hotspur, Billy Beane’s favorite team. Tomorrow seems like a great day to skip the horrible slate of NFL games on TV altogether, in favor of this EPL game and the 3:00 PM Tar Heels at UAB game, which promises to be frenetic.

Speaking of which: Crazy finish to the Warriors game in OKC last night. That’s twice this year their games have been decided at the buzzer. If those teams meet up in the playoffs it could be epic.

I’ve written the first sentence of the fourth chapter of my book (which should not suggest that I’ve written any other sentences in any other chapters). It’s a comedy:

The whores get cheaper and uglier as you drive down San Pablo Avenue, from the girls working the mostly safe Golden Bear Inn at Cedar to the desperate junkies on Skid Row approaching Grand Ave to where San Pablo dead ends and the whores are the cheapest and ugliest of all, at Oakland City Hall.

Gotta go, we’re off on our annual trip to the Castro Valley Christmas Tree Farm to pick out and cut down our own tree. After decorating it, then I’ll drag the extension ladder out and swaddle the outside of the house in blinking colorful lights. Little-known truth: no one has as much fun with Christmas as the atheists. All of the whimsy and none of the dogma. Consider signing up; it’s almost like a religion!

"Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."

319 thoughts on “Leftovermagundi

  1. Future Ed Nov 30,2013 9:21 am

    I love christmas too.

    SA got a bunch of quick wickets last night, but then was slow to score their own runs on the chase. they ended up beating pakistan by 4 wickets

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
  2. AV Nov 30,2013 9:22 am

    the turkey turned out a little dry the first round, so the second round became turkey pot pie. ie, NO SAMMY FOR ME! (now what to do with all that full-calorie mayo i brought.)

    *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • Jennifer Nov 30,2013 9:35 am || Up

      You’re supposed to smear the mayo all over the pot pie.

      • AV Nov 30,2013 9:51 am || Up

        my, the euphemisms you come up with. i am blushing.

        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
        • Jennifer Nov 30,2013 10:01 am || Up

          A nursey BFF of mine said “There’s still plenty of parking at Wal-Mart.”

          I asked if that was an euphemism. No one thought it was funny. THAT is why I love you guys.

          • MikeV Nov 30,2013 10:06 am || Up

            in the back lot AMIRITE

            And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

            Thanks, and go As.

          • dmoas Nov 30,2013 12:05 pm || Up

            Talk about having sex in an uncomfortable place.

  3. AV Nov 30,2013 9:28 am

    btw, the prostitutes around SP/west grand area, additionally in that stretch of west between SP and west grand, they’re trannies and i’m not sure they fit into the hooker-mayor beauty spectrum. (but i get your overall metaphor.)

    *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • AV Nov 30,2013 10:07 am || Up

      also, OMG thanks for reminding me, last summer with the window rolled down, i was leisurely driving back from the little market to my house, down that stretch of west, and this one lady planned it perfectly, what at first i thought was going to be a slow-motion mid-street dump as she lifted part of her tee-shirt/dress and bent her knees slightly, which confused me into an illusion of self invisibility (since she was gonna take a crap right there surely she didn’t even see me), but turned out to be a window-high, full-on, bare-bottom, side-to-side, talking-cheeks private showing and advertisement of ev-uh-ry-thing she had, including xmas and new years, RIGHT when i drove by just “barely” on the other side of the double yellows from my face. gotta give it to the hookers… good sense of vehicular timing. when i figured out what was happening, i laughed. then i sped off.

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Nov 30,2013 11:49 am || Up

      My metaphor doesn’t exclude trannies…cheap ugly desperate and venal transcends gender identity.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • FreeSeatUpgrade Nov 30,2013 12:01 pm || Up

        (also by no means only or even mostly the mayor; the story will suggest that almost every elected and appointed official in the whole place is for sale. Cheap!)

        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
        • ozzman99 Nov 30,2013 1:50 pm || Up

          Everyone is a whore. It’s just a matter of what you’ll sell and how much you want for it.

      • AV Dec 2,2013 9:50 am || Up

        i was thinking the scales measure different things even if they use the same name. but yes, they can all be beautiful or ugly in their own way.

        but more importantly, i didn’t realize this was a real book you’re writing. congratulations! the world needs more like what i imagine you’re writing. or… more of what you’re writing even if i can’t yet imagine it until i read it? you know what i mean. i mean, good luck and don’t stop.

        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  4. Jennifer Nov 30,2013 9:38 am

    First holiday party of the season tonight. Ugh.

    I’ve also planned my 30th birthday party already. Fondue and the casino!

  5. MikeV Nov 30,2013 9:50 am

    Tomorrow seems like a great day to skip the horrible slate of NFL games on TV altogether

    LOL no, it’s crabtree’s first game back.

    And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

    Thanks, and go As.

  6. Soaker Nov 30,2013 10:59 am

    Fucla vs. U$C is usually good for a bench-clearing brawl, with the accompanying knife wounds in the stands. That will be my game of choice this evening.

    What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
    • Future Ed Nov 30,2013 11:11 am || Up

      Does UCLA now wear the home whites blues when at the Colosseum?

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
      • Soaker Nov 30,2013 11:38 am || Up

        Yes, because that rule requiring the visiting team to wear white jerseys has been modified though not completely eliminated. For those watching on your 19-inch Sears black-and-white set, tough. The current rule is:

        If the home team wears colored jerseys, the visiting team may also wear colored jerseys, if and only if the following conditions have been satisfied:

        a. The home team has agreed in writing prior to the game; and

        b. The conference of the home team certifies that the jersey of the visiting team is of a contrasting color.

        The Beavers used this rule in yesterday’s Civil War to wear hideous, eye-burning head-to-toe orange at Autzen Stadium; the Ducks were dressed in remarkably tasteful throwback pale green and yellow.

        What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
  7. batgirl Nov 30,2013 11:31 am

    Go Wildcats!

    • Future Ed Nov 30,2013 11:35 am || Up

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Nov 30,2013 11:53 am || Up

      Good point! The Northwestern Wildcats need a win at Illinois today to avoid an 0-8 conference record. The Illini sit at 1-6 in the Big 10, so this stoppable force vs movable object matchup could really deliver!

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
        • Soaker Nov 30,2013 2:37 pm || Up

          I hope Furd wins the next two and Ohio State wins next week so we have a traditional marquee Rose Bowl. I would be a little concerned, though, that today’s game is just an exhibition for Furd as they look ahead to Arizona State.

          What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
          • nevermoor Dec 1,2013 4:56 pm || Up

            T…OSU would now need to lose for that to happen.

            "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
            • Soaker Dec 1,2013 5:51 pm || Up

              Yeah, my quick and dirty analysis of the new BCS standings suggests Baylor is the likely replacement for Ohio State, and Stanford-Baylor (or, worse, Arizona State-Baylor) just doesn’t have much of a ring to it.

              What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
              • Soaker Dec 1,2013 6:28 pm || Up

                (correction…the “experts” seem to think Michigan State will go to the Rose Bowl, win or lose against Ohio State, which just seems lame. I guess I’d now like to see: Ohio State barely beats Michigan State, Auburn crushes Mizzou, Auburn jumps tOSU for the #2 slot in the NCG, and Urban Meyer’s head explodes. All this crap is why I’m glad to see the BCS going out the door after this year.)

                What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
      • PDXAthleticsfan Dec 3,2013 1:23 pm || Up

        Yay! NU is not winless in the conference.

        A soliloquy of fresh-sounding ideas which would probably be disastrous.
        • Soaker Dec 3,2013 1:48 pm || Up

          And with Cal opening next season with the reciprocal visit to Evanston, a two-game streak is in the offing.

          What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
  8. FreeSeatUpgrade Nov 30,2013 12:06 pm

    So, soccer folks: Is there any chance FIFA decides to completely pull the plug on Brazil as host and hastily relocates the World Cup to a place with established venues, like the U.S.? The recent news about stadium and infrastructure prep from Brazil sounds pretty bad. Though that opinion could certainly be being fed by Northern Hemisphere bias confirmation on my part.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • Glorious Mundy Nov 30,2013 12:24 pm || Up

      There’s often talk of that happening. There were rumors that South Africa could have been moved to the U.S.. The 1986 cup was supposed to be in Colombia, but they couldn’t pull it off and it got moved to Mexico a few years ahead of time. I still think it’s pretty unlikely to happen this time around…too close to the date now and too much money already spent by the organizers and fans.

    • ptbnl Nov 30,2013 4:16 pm || Up

      Yeah – I don’t see it happening, and doubly so not to the US.

      If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
    • AV Nov 30,2013 7:30 pm || Up

      brasil has plenty established venues. the problem is the new ones being built special, which happen to be remote and smaller and i think fall off use after a load of just 4 games each in the group stage. so they could relocate to existing ones if necessary. redundancy failsafe, it takes 8 venues to pull off a WC and brasil decided to have 12. i think there are 3 +sao paulo that are unfinished (SP is the crane collapse). 6 of the other stadiums already served in the confederations cup. i’m assuming the ones not mentioned are OK or on schedule. so it looks fairly covered even if it takes a jogo de cintura with dates or expectations or something. also, tradition (and where it says “final month” there, legend has it you can substitute “night before opening ceremonies”). bottom line: you cannot run from the world cup because even running is a kind of dance!

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  9. Soaker Nov 30,2013 12:36 pm

    That cracking sound you just heard was the Dogfather’s heart breaking.

    What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
  10. Soaker Nov 30,2013 4:15 pm

    Alabama-Auburn promises great drama, which it will almost certainly not deliver.

    That’s what happens when a Tar Heel football fan writes a front-page post.

    What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
    • Soaker Nov 30,2013 4:26 pm || Up

      Holy shit, even I wasn’t expecting that!!

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
      • FreeSeatUpgrade Nov 30,2013 4:46 pm || Up

        That was amazing. Still, I stand by my prediction; 9 out of 10 times these highly touted college football game disappoint. But damn, helluva finish.

        I assume Alabama still gets a BCS championship game slot, no?

        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
        • Soaker Nov 30,2013 4:55 pm || Up

          For Alabama to get in I’m pretty sure two of Auburn, Florida State and Ohio State would have to lose. Florida State seems a shoo-in with their conference championship game vs. the Dukies, though the Jameis Winston issue is in flux. Auburn and Ohio State both have tough conference championship games next week and it’s possible both could lose.

          What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
          • Future Ed Dec 1,2013 12:47 am || Up

            anybody else think its weird that my facebook news feed, which usually has more than a smattering of “fight ons” on fall saturdays is dead quiet?

            I have $5. No I don\'t.
            • ozzman99 Dec 1,2013 11:36 pm || Up

              Even weirder that mine is quiet, what with South Carolina beating Clemson.

  11. Jennifer Nov 30,2013 7:32 pm

    Ed, I broke a toilet tonight.

    • Poppy Nov 30,2013 8:50 pm || Up

      You guys have a weird code.

      There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
      • Future Ed Dec 1,2013 12:50 am || Up

        don’t want you people knowing our business

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
  12. dmoas Nov 30,2013 8:56 pm

    So apparently Paul Walker died in a fiery crash while in a speeding car. How ironic.

    • MikeV Dec 1,2013 1:43 pm || Up

      Rumor is he was the passenger.

      And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

      Thanks, and go As.

      • dmoas Dec 1,2013 2:58 pm || Up

        I think they confirmed that part. A race car driver was driving his new porshe or whatever you’d call that hunk of metal it transformed into.

        • MikeV Dec 1,2013 3:03 pm || Up

          Porsche GT2. Essentially a street legal race car.

          My guess is race car guy was driving the race car like a race car… on the street.

          And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

          Thanks, and go As.

          • dmoas Dec 1,2013 3:29 pm || Up

            Having seen photos of the car afterward, yes. Definitely.

            • ozzman99 Dec 1,2013 11:37 pm || Up

              Ever seen photos of the wrecked, stolen Ferrari Enzo?

              • Bed Dec 1,2013 11:53 pm || Up

                Ever seen photos of Nancy Pelosi dressed as Gino Torretta?

                But seriously, folks...
                • ozzman99 Dec 2,2013 12:02 am || Up

                  Seen ’em? Who do you think shot ’em?

                • Bed Dec 2,2013 12:06 am || Up

                  It really is your best work.

                  But seriously, folks...
                • ozzman99 Dec 2,2013 12:12 am || Up

                  It’s a concept I’d been kicking around for years. It started out as a concept of dressing John Candy as a llama, and you can imagine where it went from there.

                • Bed Dec 2,2013 12:14 am || Up

                  I have to say…John Candy’s recent work hasn’t been all that great.

                  But seriously, folks...
                • ozzman99 Dec 2,2013 12:14 am || Up

                  That man’s career is all but dead at this point.

                • Bed Dec 2,2013 12:17 am || Up

                  Yeah, his movie career is six feet under right now.

                  But seriously, folks...
                • ozzman99 Dec 2,2013 12:19 am || Up

                  I think he might be able to resurrect it by starring in the next Weekend At Bernie’s.

                • Bed Dec 2,2013 12:22 am || Up

                  I’ll get in line to see that right now.

                  But seriously, folks...
                • ozzman99 Dec 2,2013 12:26 am || Up

                  It’s gonna be killer, I hear.

    • mother pucker Dec 1,2013 8:34 pm || Up

      This is particular incident does not sadden me any more than if a “normal” John Doe died in a car accident (an event which I always consider to be quite tragic), but it did get me thinking, that despite believing that Walker is a terrible, terrible actor, I enjoyed almost every movie in which he starred.

      • dmoas Dec 1,2013 8:54 pm || Up

        I think I agree with every part of that.

      • ozzman99 Dec 1,2013 11:38 pm || Up

        I saw most of the first FF and thoroughly disliked it. What else has be been in, asks the guy too lazy to check imdb? Never mind, I’ll look it up. I need some exercise.

        • Bed Dec 1,2013 11:51 pm || Up

          Don’t strain yourself…it’s not worth the risk.

          But seriously, folks...
          • ozzman99 Dec 2,2013 12:04 am || Up

            I had to, and thank God I did! It turns out he was on an episode of Charles In Charge. I knew he looked familiar.

  13. Poppy Nov 30,2013 8:59 pm

    No one here (my home, that is) gives a shit about decorating for Christmas, so we don’t do it. At all. Bah humbug.

    There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Nov 30,2013 9:09 pm || Up

      I’ll keep festooning the house with Xmas lights every year until the inevitable day that I fall off the ladder and break an arm leg or head.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  14. nobody in particular Dec 1,2013 4:08 am


    Happy Sunday and Happy Birthday to the Capo Di Tutti Capi of the modern electric bass! Hidden within this tribute is a burning 1983 set with axe-meister Mike Stern.

    Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
    • AV Dec 2,2013 9:31 am || Up

      by some coincidence, it’s the capo of (free) base’s 20th deathniversary. by way of musical tribute, i offer these misheard (possibly just misplaced) lyrics that always ring in my head and that, FSU style, maybe someone here can help me sort out:

      something something pablo like escobar
      and if i wasn’t, then why would i say i are?

      did my mental jukebox just play tiddlywinks and flipped eric b’s “R to the A to the K I M, and if i wasn’t then why would i say i am?” to suit its purposes? or maybe someone else did, like maybe nas, in one of his various escobar-worshipping flows? meh. F it. rap’s as dead as pablo. here, watch some socially pertinent soccer…

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • Dial C for Concupiscence Dec 2,2013 10:28 am || Up

        I don’t know the original, but Sage Francis has a line referencing that lyric:

        I’m a G to the R-E-M-L-I-N
        If I wasn’t, then why would I say I am?

        Not that this helps at all, since he’s probably referencing Eric B & Rakim there.

    • harensheir15 Mar 2,2014 1:37 am || Up

  15. AV Dec 1,2013 8:45 am
    *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Dec 1,2013 10:32 am || Up

      Neat, thanks for linking that. I certainly don’t want to be left out of any plan “to transform humanity into the Nietzschen Ãœbermensch.”

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • ptbnl Dec 1,2013 5:02 pm || Up

        FreeNietzscheÃœbergrade.

        If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
    • Dial C for Concupiscence Dec 2,2013 10:48 am || Up

      That’s awesome. I love puzzles like that. The fact that this particular one has mysterious ends and is likely much more complex than other easily available ones just makes it more interesting.

  16. dmoas Dec 1,2013 7:06 pm

    Not going to spoil ANYTHING about it, but those getting the West Coast feed for the Walking Dead: DO. NOT. MISS. TONIGHT’S. EPISODE.

    • Jennifer Dec 1,2013 7:25 pm || Up

      OMG. It was so tense, my back actually hurt after watching it.

      • Bed Dec 1,2013 11:58 pm || Up

        I know…and that twist ending…the whole thing is just a nightmare Bob Newhart is having.

        But seriously, folks...
        • ozzman99 Dec 2,2013 12:18 am || Up

          Dude, don’t mess it up for everyone. It was actually the imagination of an autistic kid with a snow globe.

          • Bed Dec 2,2013 12:21 am || Up

            Yep…and his dad, Bruce Willis, was dead the whole time.

            But seriously, folks...
            • ozzman99 Dec 2,2013 12:36 am || Up

              And his mother murdered him and his sister and killed herself, and their servants died 50 years ago.

              • Bed Dec 2,2013 12:42 am || Up

                Is that the plot from Patch Adams?

                But seriously, folks...
  17. Bed Dec 1,2013 11:46 pm

    I can’t sleep so I thought I’d come to the quietest place I could think of.

    But seriously, folks...
  18. Bed Dec 1,2013 11:54 pm

    For those keeping score at home we traded in the Mustang and bought a new Ford Escape which means we now have two SUV’s …yes, we hate the environment.

    But seriously, folks...
    • ozzman99 Dec 2,2013 12:06 am || Up

      For those keeping score at home, I ate a grilled cheese sandwich with 3 sliced of cheese… yes, I hate my arteries.

      • Bed Dec 2,2013 12:19 am || Up

        3 slices of cheese? Well, aren’t we a fancy boy?

        But seriously, folks...
        • ozzman99 Dec 2,2013 12:23 am || Up

          I’m so fancy, my socks match.

          • Bed Dec 2,2013 12:24 am || Up

            My socks are almost as white as I am…actually that’s not possible.

            But seriously, folks...
            • ozzman99 Dec 2,2013 12:37 am || Up

              Have you ever been listening to the radio, and a man comes on and tells you how wgite your socks can be?

              • Bed Dec 2,2013 12:43 am || Up

                I don’t listen to the radio…I’m a Republican.

                But seriously, folks...
                • ozzman99 Dec 2,2013 12:58 am || Up

                  Then how do you get your Limbaugh fix?

                • Bed Dec 2,2013 1:01 am || Up

                  I just make up the craziest shit I can think of in my head and then add a racist twist to it.

                  But seriously, folks...
                • ozzman99 Dec 2,2013 1:04 am || Up

                  Solid logic.

                • DFA Dec 2,2013 9:19 am || Up

                  heh

                  In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
  19. Bed Dec 1,2013 11:56 pm

    I didn’t watch a snap of football today…and now I can’t sleep…I need those Raiders games to put me to sleep.

    But seriously, folks...
  20. Bed Dec 2,2013 12:03 am

    Things I pretend never happened…

    1. Game 1 of the 1988 World Series
    2. New Coke
    3. Jaws 2
    4. Jaws 3
    5. Jaws 4
    6. Bill Romanowski as a Raider
    7. Brian29
    8. That night I spent in Vegas with the lady who had surprising upper body strength.
    9. My off-Broadway one man show about the life and times of Jerry Reed
    10. Getting a Masters Degree in American Studies

    But seriously, folks...
    • ozzman99 Dec 2,2013 12:08 am || Up

      My parents have a similar kind of list, but it only has one thing on it: my birth.

      • Bed Dec 2,2013 12:08 am || Up

        They’ve focused their list on only the important stuff it would seem.

        But seriously, folks...
        • ozzman99 Dec 2,2013 12:13 am || Up

          The upside: they’ve learned that it’s worth spending a couple bucks on birth control.

          • Bed Dec 2,2013 12:19 am || Up

            Birth control…never heard of it.

            But seriously, folks...
            • ozzman99 Dec 2,2013 12:25 am || Up

              I noticed. Your wife is apparently a Fertile Myrtle.

              • Bed Dec 2,2013 12:28 am || Up

                I think she got pregnant with the second one on just firm handshake.

                But seriously, folks...
                • ozzman99 Dec 2,2013 12:39 am || Up

                  Saves you money on Viagra.

                • Bed Dec 2,2013 12:41 am || Up

                  Which is good…I can put that savings towards betting away their college funds.

                  But seriously, folks...
                • ozzman99 Dec 2,2013 12:58 am || Up

                  Gambling is always a sure thing. No reason not to do it.

  21. Bed Dec 2,2013 12:04 am

    Well, I’ve done all my Christmas shopping…I just got everyone I know the new Mike + the Mechanics Greatest Hits Box Set…this should ensure that no one will want me to buy them anything next Christmas.

    But seriously, folks...
  22. Bed Dec 2,2013 12:06 am

    Speaking of Mike + the Mechanics…I had a Reuben sandwich for lunch today.

    But seriously, folks...
    • ozzman99 Dec 2,2013 12:09 am || Up

      That’s so weird that you had a Reuben, because I had leftover dal.

      • Bed Dec 2,2013 12:11 am || Up

        I don’t eat leftovers…I’m a Republican.

        But seriously, folks...
        • ozzman99 Dec 2,2013 12:14 am || Up

          Oh, you let them trickle down to the riff raff?

          • Bed Dec 2,2013 12:18 am || Up

            Nope…I just throw them in the tire fire I have going on in my backyard.

            But seriously, folks...
            • ozzman99 Dec 2,2013 12:22 am || Up

              BTW, I don’t think the Escape is as bad for the Earth as you’re hoping. It’s reasonably full efficient for a vehicle of it’s type, and I think Ford uses a lot of recyclable materials.

              • Bed Dec 2,2013 12:23 am || Up

                What?…Fuck that…I’m taking it back.

                But seriously, folks...
                • ozzman99 Dec 2,2013 12:38 am || Up

                  That’s probably for the best.

                • Bed Dec 2,2013 12:40 am || Up

                  I like the car…we’ll see how long it is before Miss Hawaii takes it from me.

                  But seriously, folks...
                • ozzman99 Dec 2,2013 12:43 am || Up

                  It’s bound to happen. This is what we get for letting women vote.

                • Bed Dec 2,2013 12:47 am || Up

                  pfft…chicks, man…what are you gonna do?

                  But seriously, folks...
                • ozzman99 Dec 2,2013 1:01 am || Up

                  Play golf?

                • Bed Dec 2,2013 1:02 am || Up

                  That’s a valid answer for almost any question.

                  But seriously, folks...
  23. Bed Dec 2,2013 12:09 am

    Speaking of Reuben Sandwiches…I listened to a Mike + the Mechanics CD while eating lunch today.

    But seriously, folks...
  24. Bed Dec 2,2013 12:10 am

    The over/under of how many times I’d mention Mike + the Mechanics in this lounge was 2 so I hope you bet the over.

    But seriously, folks...
  25. Bed Dec 2,2013 12:15 am

    Gosh…I have to be at work fairly soon…good thing my job is really easy.

    But seriously, folks...
  26. Bed Dec 2,2013 12:18 am

    My posts in this lounge make more sense if you read them as a dialogue between Kirk Douglas and Michael Douglas.

    But seriously, folks...
  27. Bed Dec 2,2013 12:20 am

    I’m not cool enough to watch The Mentalist.

    But seriously, folks...
  28. Bed Dec 2,2013 12:27 am

    Where are the posts about Bruno Sammartino?

    But seriously, folks...
  29. Bed Dec 2,2013 12:31 am

    I’ve decided this off-season to get all my baseball news from FK…I should go into the new season very informed about Jennifer’s nursing career.

    But seriously, folks...
  30. Bed Dec 2,2013 12:34 am

    I like to ask questions at 2:34 in the morning so here we go…

    Favorite Christmas movie?

    But seriously, folks...
    • Bed Dec 2,2013 12:35 am || Up

      Die Hard for me.

      But seriously, folks...
      • ozzman99 Dec 2,2013 12:41 am || Up

        Gigli

        • Bed Dec 2,2013 12:43 am || Up

          Hmm…the movie in my mind where Jennifer Lopez plays a lesbian is much better.

          But seriously, folks...
          • Bed Dec 2,2013 12:53 am || Up

            Speaking of lesbian Jennifer Lopez…I like to eat Ruben sandwiches for lunch while I listen to Mike + the Mechanics.

            But seriously, folks...
          • ozzman99 Dec 2,2013 12:56 am || Up

            I’ve never actually seen Gigli. Or the movie you’re referencing.

            • Bed Dec 2,2013 12:59 am || Up

              My movie is called J-Lo on the Down-Low.

              But seriously, folks...
              • ozzman99 Dec 2,2013 1:05 am || Up

                I’ll look it up on Netflix right now.

                • Bed Dec 2,2013 1:07 am || Up

                  It’s about J-Lo’s journey of self discovery in a women’s prison…a very classy picture.

                  But seriously, folks...
    • Glorious Mundy Dec 2,2013 9:45 am || Up

      Bad Santa

    • AV Dec 2,2013 10:10 am || Up

      yentl.

      no wait.

      das boot?

      roger and me?

      three days of the condor?

      american psycho? “just think of it as snow. expensive christmas snow.”

      though, i suppose i should pick one that reflects my own feelings for the holiday. how ’bout this one?

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  31. Bed Dec 2,2013 12:40 am

    In three years Matt McGloin will be…

    1. Starting QB for the Raiders
    2. Starting QB somewhere else in the NFL
    3. On an NFL roster as a back up
    4. Buried with Jimmy Hoffa
    5. Living in a 2 bedroom apartment with JaMarcus Russell, Donald Hollas and Todd Marinovich.
    6. President of Bolivia.
    7. Totally forgotten

    But seriously, folks...
    • ozzman99 Dec 2,2013 12:57 am || Up

      I haven’t seen him play yet. Based on that, I’ll got with #3.

      • Bed Dec 2,2013 1:00 am || Up

        Sadly, I’ve seen him play.

        But seriously, folks...
        • Bed Dec 2,2013 1:08 am || Up

          Oh, wait he’s a little gritty white guy so I have to like him…it’s the law or something. I think it’s called the Gradkowski Rule.

          But seriously, folks...
        • ozzman99 Dec 2,2013 1:20 am || Up

          That good, huh?

          • Bed Dec 2,2013 1:25 am || Up

            I’m not a fan…I prefer players who have talent.

            But seriously, folks...
            • ozzman99 Dec 2,2013 1:29 am || Up

              There are only so many good QB’s to go around.

              • Bed Dec 2,2013 1:29 am || Up

                Well, one of these decades/centuries the Raiders should be able to get one.

                But seriously, folks...
  32. Bed Dec 2,2013 12:46 am

    Fine…I have a poster of John Travolta in my garage…HOW DARE YOU THINK OF JUDGING ME!

    But seriously, folks...
  33. Bed Dec 2,2013 12:48 am

    Welcome to Golden Corral…Come for the under cooked chicken stay for the projectile vomiting.

    But seriously, folks...
  34. Bed Dec 2,2013 12:49 am

    …and now I’d like to play you a tune about the plight of the Dutch and their battle to overcome the hatred they faced from a certain bastard in Arkansas.

    But seriously, folks...
  35. Bed Dec 2,2013 12:52 am

    My kid is going to be two years old here this week…I already got her a carton of Marlboro Reds for a gift.

    But seriously, folks...
    • ozzman99 Dec 2,2013 1:02 am || Up

      Wow, time flies! Is she cussing yet?

      • Bed Dec 2,2013 1:04 am || Up

        Her first words were Broncos Suck Ass…I was so proud.

        But seriously, folks...
        • ozzman99 Dec 2,2013 1:22 am || Up

          So I should return the Elway jersey I got her for Xmas?

          • Bed Dec 2,2013 1:24 am || Up

            I’d just burn it to be safe.

            But seriously, folks...
            • ozzman99 Dec 2,2013 1:27 am || Up

              I’ll get her Montana, Young, and Rice jerseys. I want this child to be raised right.

              • Bed Dec 2,2013 1:29 am || Up

                Those names will be from the distant past for her…besides only Raiders gear is allowed in our home.

                But seriously, folks...
  36. Bed Dec 2,2013 12:55 am

    In an effort to drive traffic to Free Kraut I suggest we start actually handing out free kraut to anyone who posts.

    But seriously, folks...
  37. Bed Dec 2,2013 12:56 am

    Well, I guess Oz quit…what a puppy.

    But seriously, folks...
  38. Bed Dec 2,2013 12:59 am

    I think this is how I’ll be on FK now…every few weeks I’ll stop by early in the morning and do a couple hundred posts about VORP and BABIP and then be off.

    But seriously, folks...
  39. Bed Dec 2,2013 1:03 am

    So, Oz…how are things going back in California?

    But seriously, folks...
    • ozzman99 Dec 2,2013 1:23 am || Up

      It’s going, I guess. Nothing to report at the moment. Just working on getting a viable business going.

      • Bed Dec 2,2013 1:24 am || Up

        What kind of business are you looking to start?

        But seriously, folks...
        • ozzman99 Dec 2,2013 1:25 am || Up

          Photography. Food, product, fashion.

          • Bed Dec 2,2013 1:28 am || Up

            I figured it would be something involving photography or drug running.

            But seriously, folks...
            • ozzman99 Dec 2,2013 1:30 am || Up

              If only I could combine both of those passions.

              • Bed Dec 2,2013 1:31 am || Up

                I would imagine taking pictures of someone drug running would be a lose/lose for everybody involved.

                But seriously, folks...
                • ozzman99 Dec 2,2013 1:36 am || Up

                  Can’t I just take landscape photos as I run drugs?

                • Bed Dec 2,2013 1:37 am || Up

                  Hmm…you’ve got a mind for business.

                  But seriously, folks...
                • ozzman99 Dec 2,2013 1:42 am || Up

                  And a face for radio.

  40. Bed Dec 2,2013 1:09 am

    Wow…we actually have a good MNF game this week. Seattle vs New Orleans could be a fun game.

    But seriously, folks...
    • ozzman99 Dec 2,2013 1:25 am || Up

      I don’t like NO’s chances on the road against Seattle.

      • Bed Dec 2,2013 1:27 am || Up

        Didn’t half of the Seahawks defensive backfield get busted for drugs? I doesn’t matter…clearly the Jaguars are the hottest team in football and will likely win it all.

        But seriously, folks...
        • ozzman99 Dec 2,2013 1:29 am || Up

          Nothing really seems to slow the Seahawks down.

          • Bed Dec 2,2013 1:31 am || Up

            Must be all the Adderall.

            But seriously, folks...
            • ozzman99 Dec 2,2013 1:40 am || Up

              Probably. Or their shared love of cheap shots.

              • Bed Dec 2,2013 1:54 am || Up

                (shakes fist) THOSE SEAHAWK BASTARDS!

                But seriously, folks...
                • ozzman99 Dec 2,2013 1:56 am || Up

                  Pretty much. I love that I hate them so much. It’s great the 49ers have a strong and hateable rival.

                • Bed Dec 2,2013 1:58 am || Up

                  Rivalries are fun.

                  But seriously, folks...
                • ozzman99 Dec 2,2013 2:07 am || Up

                  Yeah. And the 49ers don’t really have any others right now.

                • Bed Dec 2,2013 2:09 am || Up

                  It hurt when the Rams moved to St. Louis…when they were in LA that was a good long term rivalry.

                  But seriously, folks...
  41. Bed Dec 2,2013 1:10 am

    Where are the posts about Norman Rockwell?

    But seriously, folks...
  42. Bed Dec 2,2013 1:11 am

    Gosh…I must be getting old…my third nipple has some white hairs on it.

    But seriously, folks...
    • Bed Dec 2,2013 1:14 am || Up

      Nah…those aren’t mine…they’re just from my hookup last night with The General…I tell you what the diabetes isn’t slowing down Wilford Brimley at all.

      But seriously, folks...
  43. Bed Dec 2,2013 1:18 am

    Once I heard that Star Trek Voyager was coming out on Blu-Ray I knew that I was lucky to be alive at this exact moment.

    But seriously, folks...
    • AV Dec 2,2013 9:37 am || Up

      actually, you’re not. it’s a time anomaly.

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • Bed Dec 2,2013 3:01 pm || Up

        If I knew what this meant I’m sure my mind would be blown.

        But seriously, folks...
        • AV Dec 2,2013 3:57 pm || Up

          if you knew what i meant i’m sure your mind would have been melded.

          *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  44. Bed Dec 2,2013 1:19 am

    A Winnebago stole my baby!

    But seriously, folks...
    • AV Dec 2,2013 9:39 am || Up

      that’s what i love about the dead kennedy’s. they left no easy target unturned. including retired people…

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  45. Bed Dec 2,2013 1:23 am

    Speaking of lesbian Jennifer Lopez eating Reuben sandwiches while listening to Mike + the Mechanics…I like to run with scissors.

    But seriously, folks...
  46. Bed Dec 2,2013 1:32 am

    This is less a lounge and more a Oz/Bed chat room.

    But seriously, folks...
    • ozzman99 Dec 2,2013 1:41 am || Up

      Isn’t it always? Just that sometimes it’s cluttered up by these other losers chiming in.

      • Bed Dec 2,2013 1:44 am || Up

        I do wish we could lounge more…I miss it.

        But seriously, folks...
        • ozzman99 Dec 2,2013 1:50 am || Up

          Me too. I don’t even have an excuse for not being here. I mostly just curl up naked in a ball and cry all day.

          • Bed Dec 2,2013 1:53 am || Up

            Hmm…I thought that only happened with women who dated me?

            But seriously, folks...
            • ozzman99 Dec 2,2013 1:57 am || Up

              Well, there’s something I need to tell you. I used to be a girl. We dated in high school.

              • Bed Dec 2,2013 2:00 am || Up

                So the greatest moment of your life happened in High School then.

                But seriously, folks...
                • ozzman99 Dec 2,2013 2:09 am || Up

                  The greatest moment of my life was birth. It’s been all downhill since then.

                • Bed Dec 2,2013 2:14 am || Up

                  At least you have aging and aches and pains to look forward to.

                  But seriously, folks...
    • colin Dec 2,2013 5:45 am || Up

      I knew it immediately when I loaded up FK this morning and saw 196 new comments.

      • Future Ed Dec 2,2013 6:44 am || Up

        yup

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
      • DFA Dec 2,2013 9:22 am || Up

        I was like 7 comments before I went to sleep all of yesterday, I wonder why there are 196 this morning. Oh wait bed or oz are back

        In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
  47. Bed Dec 2,2013 1:33 am

    I’m sorry but I’m just not willing to do full frontal for a Klondike Bar.

    But seriously, folks...
    • ozzman99 Dec 2,2013 1:42 am || Up

      Yeah, I won’t make that mistake again.

      • Bed Dec 2,2013 1:44 am || Up

        You live you learn.

        But seriously, folks...
        • ozzman99 Dec 2,2013 1:50 am || Up

          It wasn’t satisfying the first 27 times, so I’m done.

          • Bed Dec 2,2013 1:55 am || Up

            Well, at least you gave it an honest effort.

            But seriously, folks...
    • DFA Dec 2,2013 9:23 am || Up

      its ok, we were looking for the rear anyway

      In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
  48. Bed Dec 2,2013 1:34 am

    I like to look at my DVR and see all the things I’m never going to watch.

    But seriously, folks...
  49. Bed Dec 2,2013 1:37 am

    Apparently PBS is begging for money this year by using Barbara Streisand’s cleavage.

    But seriously, folks...
    • ozzman99 Dec 2,2013 1:45 am || Up

      Combined with a time machine, that might work.

      • Bed Dec 2,2013 1:49 am || Up

        Yeah,she might be the only lady who ever slept with both Roosevelts and both Clintons…well, her and J-Lo.

        But seriously, folks...
        • ozzman99 Dec 2,2013 1:51 am || Up

          Bridget the Midget hasn’t done that?

          • Bed Dec 2,2013 1:52 am || Up

            Nope…she and Hilary just didn’t hit it off.

            But seriously, folks...
            • ozzman99 Dec 2,2013 1:58 am || Up

              Shocking. Maybe she should go after Chelsea.

              • Bed Dec 2,2013 1:58 am || Up

                Hmm…that’s a movie I won’t be making in my head.

                But seriously, folks...
  50. Bed Dec 2,2013 1:51 am

    If it’ll help drive meta traffic to FK I’m always willing to make some sexist comments. I’m a giver.

    But seriously, folks...
    • Bed Dec 2,2013 1:55 am || Up

      Actually we shouldn’t have any more meta wars…if one more person quits FK this place will be as empty as an A’s home game.

      But seriously, folks...
      • ozzman99 Dec 2,2013 2:00 am || Up

        It’s too bad you couldn’t make it out to any games this year. I only went to 5, but even the smaller crowds were loud and fun.

        • Bed Dec 2,2013 2:01 am || Up

          My next A’s game in Oakland/San Jose/Mars will be sometime in 2033.

          But seriously, folks...
  51. Bed Dec 2,2013 1:57 am

    Who has a lower approval rating?

    President Obama in Arkansas or Nico with livestock?

    But seriously, folks...
    • ozzman99 Dec 2,2013 2:06 am || Up

      Obama. You’re the only A’s fan in AR, hence the only person there who knows of N***’s existence.

      • Bed Dec 2,2013 2:08 am || Up

        Well, that and livestock lovin’ was invented in Arkansas.

        But seriously, folks...
        • Soaker Dec 2,2013 9:39 am || Up

          Nah, I’ve always associated Arkansas with incest. Everybody knows bestiality originated in Scotland.

          What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
          • Bed Dec 2,2013 3:16 pm || Up

            So that’s how they flavor Haggis.

            But seriously, folks...
            • ptbnl Dec 2,2013 11:03 pm || Up

              Only the fancy version.

              If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
  52. Bed Dec 2,2013 1:59 am

    Where are the posts about Sherilyn Fenn?

    But seriously, folks...
  53. Bed Dec 2,2013 2:03 am

    I’m witty and I can prove it…

    You’re so dumb it takes you an hour and a half to watch 60 Minutes.

    But seriously, folks...
  54. Bed Dec 2,2013 2:05 am

    J-Lo on the Down-Low Part II…J-Lo goes on a journey of self discovery at an all girls private school in 1950’s New England

    But seriously, folks...
  55. Bed Dec 2,2013 2:06 am

    Little known fact…The Salvation Army won the War of 1812 against the British.

    But seriously, folks...
  56. Bed Dec 2,2013 2:11 am

    In his next role Harrison Ford will be…

    1. Gruff
    2. Sour
    3. Grim
    4. Dead
    5. All the above

    But seriously, folks...
  57. Bed Dec 2,2013 2:16 am

    Well, I guess it’s time I talked baseball.

    But seriously, folks...
    • Bed Dec 2,2013 2:17 am || Up

      Baseball is a game played in indoor arenas all across Canada. It was invented by Paul Hogan of Crocodile Dundee fame and the object of the game is to make your opponent tap out by using your finishing hold.

      But seriously, folks...
  58. Bed Dec 2,2013 2:20 am

    I’m smart and I can prove it…

    I voted for Pete Wilson…twice!

    But seriously, folks...
    • DFA Dec 2,2013 9:24 am || Up

      Did you really?

      In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
      • Poppy Dec 2,2013 9:51 am || Up

        {crickets}

        There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
      • Future Ed Dec 2,2013 10:00 am || Up

        I don’t think he is old enough. adn he moved to Kansas for college

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
        • Poppy Dec 2,2013 10:07 am || Up

          Yeah, Wilson was probably anchoring the Channel 7 news around then…

          There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
  59. Bed Dec 2,2013 2:22 am

    If PBS really wants to make money next year they’ll show Barbara Boxer’s cleavage.

    But seriously, folks...
    • Bed Dec 2,2013 2:25 am || Up

      B-Bo on the Down-Low…this film will likely have a smaller market share.

      But seriously, folks...
  60. Bed Dec 2,2013 2:27 am

    The last few times I’ve been here I haven’t seen Kay around…all the people I like quit but Future Ed never fucking leaves.

    But seriously, folks...
  61. Bed Dec 2,2013 2:28 am

    Up next a 43,000 word post reviewing The Bangles last studio record.

    But seriously, folks...
    • colin Dec 2,2013 5:49 am || Up

      They reformed and released new material in 2003 and 2011. So now their last studio record is Sweetheart of the Sun.

      • Bed Dec 2,2013 3:13 pm || Up

        Hmm…I would have guessed their last album came out in 1992 or so…it appears I’m not as up to date on my Bangles knowledge as I should be.

        But seriously, folks...
  62. Bed Dec 2,2013 2:32 am

    I keep trying to post my crotch shot selfie but I just can’t get it to work.

    But seriously, folks...
  63. Bed Dec 2,2013 2:37 am

    Well…Oz, it was fun talking baseball with you. I think we all learned something tonight.

    But seriously, folks...
    • ozzman99 Dec 2,2013 12:12 pm || Up

      To avoid this place when you and I are around?

      • Bed Dec 2,2013 3:01 pm || Up

        That would be the logical conclusion.

        But seriously, folks...
  64. andeux Dec 2,2013 10:06 am

    WFB->Mariners

    TINSTAAFK
    • Future Ed Dec 2,2013 10:10 am || Up

      naturally

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • Glorious Mundy Dec 2,2013 10:12 am || Up

      Talk about a conservative move.

    • Soaker Dec 2,2013 10:19 am || Up

      As bench coach? Not as a player, certainly.

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
      • AV Dec 2,2013 12:36 pm || Up

        wells fargo bank. (i had to google it too.)

        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
        • Bed Dec 2,2013 3:00 pm || Up

          Actually I’m pretty sure it stands for Wilford Fucking Brimley.

          But seriously, folks...
      • colin Dec 2,2013 12:47 pm || Up

        Willie FKing Bloomquist… last hit a HR on August 10, 2011

      • ozzman99 Dec 2,2013 2:14 pm || Up

        William F. Buckley, Jr. Seems like a good fit.

        • colin Dec 2,2013 2:18 pm || Up

          A team that stands athwart sabermetrics, yelling “Stop!”

        • colin Dec 2,2013 2:20 pm || Up

          I should sooner play for a team managed by the first two thousand names in the Seattle phone directory than by Bob Melvin.

        • Glorious Mundy Dec 2,2013 2:28 pm || Up
          • colin Dec 2,2013 2:30 pm || Up

            Clearly too subtle for us.

            • andeux Dec 2,2013 3:14 pm || Up

              Yeah, that was a big *whoosh* here.

              TINSTAAFK
              • Glorious Mundy Dec 2,2013 3:17 pm || Up

                To paraphrase Poppy, it was a joke so subtle as to be indistinguishable from humorlessness.

          • ozzman99 Dec 2,2013 2:42 pm || Up

            Damn you and your subtle, quick wit.

  65. Soaker Dec 2,2013 3:37 pm

    Dear every website I have registered on since 1997:

    You can stop sending me your Cyber Monday e-mails. Right now. Please. I am not buying anything online today.

    What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
    • Bed Dec 2,2013 3:38 pm || Up

      We bought a car on Black Friday so I’ve done my bit for Mother Capitalism this month.

      But seriously, folks...
      • Glorious Mundy Dec 2,2013 3:41 pm || Up

        Are you still driving around with the big red bow on the top?

        • Bed Dec 2,2013 3:45 pm || Up

          Yep…I got the staple gun out so that damn thing will stay on for months.

          But seriously, folks...
      • Soaker Dec 2,2013 3:49 pm || Up

        Those new Escapes are nice. Last time I was new car shopping the Escape was still on the previous generation and wasn’t competitive. The RAV4 is utilitarian but serves my needs well. Last winter was so dry I didn’t get to put it through its paces much in snow and ice, plus I was still living in a desert valley. It looks like that changes starting tomorrow morning.

        What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
    • Glorious Mundy Dec 2,2013 3:40 pm || Up

      “Cyber Monday” has to be the most outdated, vaguely creepy sounding marketing term currently in wide use.

      • Bed Dec 2,2013 3:44 pm || Up

        Cyber Monday brought to you by the NSA

        But seriously, folks...
        • Future Ed Dec 2,2013 3:51 pm || Up

          I have $5. No I don\'t.
          • AV Dec 2,2013 10:19 pm || Up

            fuck. that’s exactly under my office (and around the corner). so convenient. yet, my friend’s band is opening for my other friend’s band in YOUR hood same night.

            what to do what to do.

            *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
            • Future Ed Dec 2,2013 10:23 pm || Up

              I always like close. but I am going to need to set up a sitter if I want to go.

              I have $5. No I don\'t.
  66. whimsical witch Dec 2,2013 10:14 pm

    the tree is up and the lights are working. there are three ornaments on the tree right now.

    we got a new light up snowman for the front yard.

    i miss baseball.

    • dmoas Dec 3,2013 7:27 am || Up

      I’m already horribly sick of x-mas music. Ugh. That shit is awful.

      • DFA Dec 3,2013 7:42 am || Up

        agreed

        In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
      • Bed Dec 3,2013 10:37 pm || Up

        We have three stations blasting Christmas music full time…two of them started on November 1st. Anything more than a couple of weeks of that stuff should be against the Geneva Convention.

        But seriously, folks...
      • doctorK Dec 3,2013 10:40 pm || Up

        I’m sick of horrible Christmas music. Unfortunately, that’s mostly what’s heard nowadays.

        • Soaker Dec 4,2013 11:44 am || Up

          I need to find a bagel shop whose Muzak doesn’t subject me to Alvin and the Chipmunks’ “O Christmas Tree” and “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer” while I’m trying to enjoy a breakfast bagel and coffee. Grrrrrrr.

          What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
          • doctorK Dec 4,2013 10:01 pm || Up

            If I hear “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” in public one more time, someone may end up dead (probably me).

      • ozzman99 Dec 4,2013 1:34 am || Up

        If I could just hear “Baby It’s Cold Outside” 2 or 3 times between Thanksgiving and Christmas, and none of the rest, I’d be happy.

        • dmoas Dec 4,2013 8:47 am || Up

          Baby. It’s cold outside.

          • Future Ed Dec 4,2013 11:09 am || Up

            the rapiest of all christmas music

            I have $5. No I don\'t.
            • AV Dec 4,2013 12:23 pm || Up

              …until eazy-e came along.

              *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
              • Future Ed Dec 4,2013 12:41 pm || Up

                All he wanted for christmas was HIV?

                (too soon?)

                I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • Dial C for Concupiscence Dec 3,2013 9:44 am || Up

      We’re waiting for my sister to get into town, so no tree for us for another two weeks.

    • FreeSeatUpgrade Dec 3,2013 10:58 am || Up

      We have the tree up, and the first batch of lights on the house. Also lights strung inside the house. Really, I can’t get enough colorful blinking lights.

      In another couple weeks I’ll do the second round of exterior decor, in which I extend the house lights over the sidewalk to our street tree, and load that up with lights and also big colorful ornaments.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • batgirl Dec 3,2013 5:14 pm || Up

        I’ve got both trees up and this year on the main tree I’m using blinking lights for the first time. Very sparkly!

    • colin Dec 3,2013 11:06 am || Up

      I put my tree up on Saturday. I’m a scrooge when it comes to Christmas, but my wife more than compensates.

  67. nevermoor Dec 3,2013 11:46 am

    Our tree is up since Saturday. Completely bereft of lights/ornaments still, but we’ll get there. Half of that is fear that between Yoenessa and the cat we might have to stop halfway down.

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • batgirl Dec 3,2013 5:15 pm || Up

      Oh yes–all my decor is a good 6″ above tail-wagging height.

    • Bed Dec 3,2013 10:34 pm || Up

      I put our tree up on Saturday…we’re kind of decorating a bit each day. I love the smell of the tree in the house.

      But seriously, folks...
  68. Bed Dec 3,2013 10:39 pm

    It’s been a several hours since I’ve read an Ed post about cricket…this just feels wrong.

    But seriously, folks...
  69. Bed Dec 3,2013 10:39 pm

    So I guess all we need to drive traffic to FK is for Beane to make a trade every six hours.

    But seriously, folks...
  70. AV Dec 4,2013 3:21 pm

    proposal. not that i absolutely hate toggle buttons or anything (i do hate them*) but… let’s get rid of the toggle that asks for what credit card type i’m using whenever i buy something online.

    if the number starts with a 3, it’s AMEX.

    if the number starts with a 4, it’s a visa.

    if the number starts with a 5, it’s MC.

    if the number starts with a 6, 1987 called your landline and wants to know when you’re gonna return that discover card you borrowed.

    do websites really not know this? i’m sure CC abusers do…

    i honestly can’t see what security measure this adds. maybe back in the day, if i handed a shopkeeper an MC and they could confirm i hadn’t filed down the starting 5 into a 3 or something. but now we have CRV instead.

    * hate for toggles being quickly surpassed by predictive fill-ins that give you a dropdown menu with the same word you just typed, but if you just hit enter it doesn’t find the word, so you have to fill in most of it and then click on the menu word supplied. (hello netflix, how ya doing?)

    *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • dmoas Dec 4,2013 3:35 pm || Up

      I’ve seen a number of websites actually not ask for the type and figure it out for you by the number. So it does actually exist. It seemed weird to me initially but once I knew they could figure it out for themselves I didn’t give a shit.

    • dmoas Dec 4,2013 3:36 pm || Up

      Also, you’re drop down hate isn’t the website, it’s the browser. It’s “relatively” new within the next few years. I suspect they’ll eventually improve on it in the future, but overall, I like it, I just wish it worked a little better sometimes.

      • AV Dec 4,2013 4:00 pm || Up

        i’m not sure that’s true that it’s browser related.

        both on safari and firefox, i go to netflix. i type in, say, adam curtis. i hit enter. that should be enough for a search, right? my results are: adam-12, molly and roni’s dance party, curious george, and several pages of other non-results that a google algorithm would pee its pants laffing at.

        i have to either click or arrow to the suggested adam curtis (which takes just enough time to pop out that i’ve already blown past it by hitting enter) before it takes me to the correct results.

        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
        • dmoas Dec 4,2013 4:21 pm || Up

          Hmm… some are and some aren’t. For search fields it’s the website. But that part of your problem is the “focus.” If it’s still in the box, it’s going to assume what’s in there is what you want. If it’s on the auto-fill portion, it’ll add that to the box and then search it for you.

    • Poppy Dec 4,2013 5:28 pm || Up

      1987 never calls my landline, it beeps me on my pager.

      There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
      • Poppy Dec 4,2013 5:30 pm || Up

        Or pages me on my beeper.

        There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
        • AV Dec 4,2013 5:43 pm || Up

          oakland skeezo, how do i know?
          ’cause 415 was the area code.

          but seriously, fax me.

          *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
          • 5Aces Dec 4,2013 6:09 pm || Up

            You all need to stop. Every time you call you mess up my Compuserve connection. Im trying to play MegaWars over here…

            Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
            • ozzman99 Dec 4,2013 6:39 pm || Up

              SHUT UP, Y’ALL! Star Trek: The Next Generation is on!

              • Bed Dec 4,2013 7:19 pm || Up

                I smell late 80’s nerd.

                But seriously, folks...
              • 5Aces Dec 4,2013 7:41 pm || Up

                SHUT UP WESLEY!

                Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
                • ozzman99 Dec 4,2013 8:20 pm || Up

                  WHEATON!

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