(I have no idea how big that image will be when I “publish” this post… I suspect it’ll be big. TWHS.)
Now I’m sitting here feeling self-conscious because I thought I had things to say, but I don’t, and I’m aware that the drafts of posts-in-progress are visible to anyone that happens to be checking drafts at the moment something is being written but not yet published. So if I say something and then decide I don’t actually want to say it, and then delete it, it might have been seen anyway.
{{{sigh}}} Here’s where I try, and fail, to figure out how to make the rest of the post appear as a “Read more” or “Continued” sort of link thing.
It’s been a weird and sad couple of months. Work has been very busy (because work is insurance, and the ACA is just a laugh-a-minute for brokers right now). And we lost a dear member of our work family suddenly — he fell while alone at home, knocked himself out and laid (lay?) undiscovered on a cold tile floor for almost 24 hours with a subdural hematoma, which is a really shitty way to go. Well, I guess knocking yourself unconscious forever is at least a mostly painless way to go, but I think you know what I mean. You don’t want to think of your loved ones lying (laying?) on a cold floor, dying alone. So I guess it was shittier for the rest of us than it was for him.
Anyway, sorry to be channeling Debbie Downer, I just really need some time off. And I should probably go to bed, it’s 2:15 a.m., for FK’s sake…
There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
so i’m not the only one still awake?
love you, poppy. <3
You are never the only one still awake. I hardly sleep. I’m just not usually here while I’m not sleeping, I’m usually trying to sleep.
i rarely sleep. when i hold ritual, i stay up until all the candles go out. i just realized that one of the candles is an 8 hour one. ah!
While looking for something in FK posts of yore, I found this comment by batgirl from sometime in April 2009…
…and I can’t tell what the fuck she was talking about, but I don’t care. It’s like a mysterious coded message now, and it’s awesome.
Hi. Did somebody say strawberry shortcake sundaes?
It’s so weird to read something you have NO memory of ever writing.
Hugs to you. {{{hugs}}}
I don’t even remember posting this Lounge.
So yeah…FK the Giants
Truer words…
I got a little nauseous when I read the news.
godfkingdamnit
that is unforgivable.
Depends on how much over the Giants went.
2/$23M is all I’ve seen.
I hate everything.
Dammit. MLBTR is saying there might be a full no-trade clause. Have you seen anything about the A’s offer?
Nope
Leaving this here, because I’m sure it’ll come up later
Holy shit I need to go vomit.
Wait to make sure Jennifer cleans up the bathroom first.
Oh God. Being out of pocket for a few days doesn’t make this any easier.
thats what happened to me
Oh god, no.
I’m confused. Doesn’t he want to win?
He wants to break my soul.
I’d rather have Bartolo back…Huddy was great but Bartolo has been terrific these last two years.
Amanda McCarthy was getting fluffed four blocks from my house this morning.
12:24 p.m. wine time, yeah that’s rough, all right.
Note to self…go back and be born again, be really pretty, snag rich dude, FK around all day.
Or be a nurse and work three days a week. Make your own money and have a shit ton of free time.
My next bit of free time should be coming sometime in 2032.
I’m pretty sure I don’t work again this week.
Of course, at work this weekend I read to a patient and painted her fingernails.
Waiting to have kids as late as I did means I’ll be busy until the last one leaves for college and or prison at 18…so I’ll be near death when I get my next break.
I don’t miss her.
I don’t either…of course to be fair I really have no idea who she is.
Drinking at half past noon might be why she looks rough.
If you ain’t drinkin’ you ain’t tryin’
Can’t get drunk if you never get sober.
That’s why I always have a can of Schlitz with me to keep a nice even buzz.
In a world gone mad, one man stands alone…and does the splits between two Volvo trucks.
Jean-Claude Van Damme is…The Man With Golden Buns
Coming this December to a theater nowhere near you.
Poppy, you think you’re Debbie Downer…the first thing I thought of when I saw the picture you posted was the famous Barry Goldwater nuclear annihilation advertisement from the 1964 Presidential campaign.
Hey, hey LBJ how many iconic political attack ads did you make today?
that’s pretty tame. i thought of something much, much more radioactive and death-begging: the theme music to little house on the prairie.
In today’s context, it is tame. In that day, it was extremely offensive.
A long-favorite (anonymous) quote from the ’60’s:
“I was told that if I voted for Goldwater, we’d be at war in 6 months. So I did – and we are.”
A quick baseball question…is Beane going to get a RF who can actually hit the baseball? The thought of another year of Josh “Jeremiah Johnson” Reddick makes me break out his hives. The only thing his at bats are good for is bathroom breaks.
There was talk earlier about the A’s being interested in Nelson Cruz.
Hmm…is that a move you’d make for the right price?
Yup, but my idea of “right price” is almost certainly far less than what he would probably sign for.
For me it would come down to how many years he wants? I have no problem over spending for one year because it’s only one year.
I don’t know what his home/road splits are but I would think his power would go down playing at the Coliseum over ballpark in Dallas.
A RH power bat would be a nice thing to have though.
My posts in this lounge make more sense if you read them in the voice of Peter Weller.
robo cop or buckaroo banzai?
Robo Banzai of course.
I can never remember which Weller is the actor and which one was in The Jam.
me too. sometimes i google it to be sure
which one has a pink, bald, oddly shaped head?
which one has uneven, scrappy, sticky-uppy hair?
which one is the peter?
which one rhymes with ball?
i believe my mnemonic work here is done.
Tonight’s MNF game is actually a pretty good match up. As football fan I consider myself lucky that I’ve gotten to see the careesr of eight great quarterbacks in Montana, Elway (hard for me to write but he was great…and evil)Marino, Young, Favre, Brady and Manning. I’ll leave it to smarter people to say who the best of that bunch is but if I needed to win one game and my life depended on it I’ll take Montana.
I’m not sure what a “careesr” is but it sounds Dutch so it’s probably bad.
Math is hard.
Can’t argue with any of those seven though.
Heh…I’m a triple threat tonight…typos, bad grammar and poor math skills.
obviously the dan fouts was silent.
I loved Dan Fouts as a kid…I never hated the Chargers like I hated the Broncos and the Chiefs.
He was cool and man could he sling it. I really like him as a broadcaster on games now.
weren’t the chargers hopeless back then?
They had some really good years with Fouts under center…it’s just that back then the Raiders were almost always better.
The first football season I really remember is 80/81, when Fouts and the Chargers knocked Joe Ferguson (playing hurt) and the Bills out of the playoffs with a 4th quarter comeback. I cried afterwards.
Apart from that, those Chargers teams really were fun to watch though.
Don’t know if I watched the Raiders/Charges AFC championship game, but I do remember rooting for the Raiders against the Eagles in the Super Bowl.
Raiders vs Eagles is really the first game I remember in detail. Almost everyone was picking the Eagles since the Raiders were just a wild card team that year…but…Raiders 27 Eagles 10…that was the day I was Silver and Black for life.
Funny, I remembered it as everybody thinking the Raiders would win, wild card notwithstanding, but apparently the prevailing line was Eagles -3. I guess what I’m remembering is that everyone thought the Raiders were cooler. The coolness line was Raiders -10.
A lot of the Eagles hype was how “disciplined” the Eagles were with Dick Vermeil as coach, whereas the Raiders were out every night fking whores and getting bombed. Well, they were right. And the Raiders still kicked the shit out of them.
Those Raiders teams were pure fucking awesome on a stick.
They had a stretch in the middle of his career when they were very good, but never made it to a Super Bowl.
No, they never had much success in the playoffs which is what has kept Don Coryell out of the Hall of Fame.
Coming up next on Free Kraut’s Top 40…Lonesome Looser by The Little River Band followed by Infatuation by Rod Stewart…and remember to send us your best Cher related pusn to win two tickets to see Hall & Oates this Friday at Cal Expo.
I’m not sure what a “pusn” is but it sounds Dutch so it’s probably bad.
I must be hitting something on my keyboard because I keep getting the “s” too early in words…or I’ve become dyslexic in the past five minutes.
Beddy, we meeting up in KC next season?
I’d love too…when do the A’s come to Kauffman?
August for 4 days.
8/11-8/14/2014
Hmm…it would have to be on the Monday. I’d have to take the day off but that’s fine. It’s going to be a hot one.
If you want to do this I’ll buy the tickets. We might try to make a weekend out of it and visit some friends in KC that weekend before the game. If Lisa wants to go I’ll get 3 or 4 tickets if you want to bring someone. We’ll figure it out as we go.
“Now…say my name”
“Bed”
“You’re god damned right!”
I’ll give the South this…they know how to make fried chicken. I had some buttermilk fried chicken today that was slap yo’ mama good.
At this food conference I was at, chef Edward Lee of 610 Magnolia in Louisville gave a 15-minute exposition on his recipe for Korean Southern fried chicken and waffles, which ended with the promise that he would be serving it during the lunch buffet the next day. I had to interview someone at the beginning of the lunch hour, but I thought there would be plenty of time to make it. When I got there I was told it had all gone in about the first five minutes. So I might have to go to Louisville sometime.
Why not just get the mayor to make it for you
That guy was on Top Chef. He seemed really cool and crazy.
I was rooting for him (naturally)
Yeah, I liked him.
He was the rare “cheftestant” who seemed self-aware. He clearly knew, and didn’t hide that he knew, that the whole thing is ridiculous, but he was going to try to win the damn thing anyway.
I hope it was a good interview. I need to go to a food conference…I just go to ones about educational policy and midget porn.
I didn’t know they every combined those two subjects into one conference. Huh. Live and learn.
Yeah his stuff is really well regarded and super in right now
pre-exercise snack, 2 hours before… clif bars and the like: real energy or fake sugar peak that makes you fall apart 15 minutes in? is maybe a slice of cheese pizza preferable?
I always have a banana before I go running in the morning.
right now, i’m feeling a little… banana shy.
last one i had hurt like a gut stab for a week. there were 2 in the bunch, i ate one, and after my tummy problems i left the other one there untouched like a taco truck you don’t go back after you figure out it’s the one that gave you the cholera. this morning i saw it was all black in the fruit bowl and didn’t even investigate if it was still maybe solid enough to eat so i threw it in the trash next to my desk. now i can smell banana and i want banana but i’m not sure banana is the best thing for me.
THESE ARE NOT DOUBLE ENTENDRES. (aka, nobody is throwing a banana at anybody.)
clif bar, right?
Hmm…I got sick from chicken twice in one year, several years ago, so I took a long break from chicken, so I understand where you’re coming from…if I’m going for a long run or a heavy work out I also sometimes have a PB&J…I’m just no big on energy bars but you should go with whatever works for you.
pb&j is a solid suggestion.
banana shy department, continued. yesterday i got speedos.
Cellular Banana is not the best thing for anyone.
Speaking of goats…
But electrical banana is bound to be the very next phase.
just had to throw that out there
With Huddy gone if we don’t bring back Bartolo would be looking at Haren to be the vet of the staff? It’s seems like Billy likes to have at least one vet to go with the kids.
Of course since we have Nick Punto we’re going to win the World Series no matter who we sign to pitch so it’s all good.
who is nick punto? is he related to the player the A’s just signed Little nicky punto?
Nobody puts Nicky Punto in the corner!
Okay, very important question…
Favorite cereal?
Of any major brand (including the industrial organic brands), probably Oatmeal Squares. However, I could eat this stuff all day and not get tired of it.
It’s Cracklin’ Oat Bran for me…that stuff is so addictive to me I figure it has actual crack in it.
It’s been years since I had it, but just reading it on the screen gave me tremors.
I was able to trick my mom into buying it as a kid since it looks like it’s healthy for you, unlike Captain Crunch, but actually it’s loaded with sugar…and with the yummy.
Frutifort with sliced banana on the first day of the annual summer holiday in Middleton-on-Sea.
also pronounced: pip pip cheerios.
asvd
Cap’n Crunch
i don’t know what it feels like to the flowers, but to a designer, it feels like 3 trendy fonts, badly juxtaposed.
My wife likes plants as a gift more than flowers so it’s been a while since I bought flowers.
That’s to increase the jarring Fuck You factor.
“You have a face for radio and a voice for silent pictures.” – An agent to a young Bed.
If you were starting a baseball team from scratch and you could have any one hitter and pitcher who would they be?
trout, fernandez
pfft…fine, take the easy and obvious choices.
Canseco, Canseco
Thank you…now, that’s thinking outside of the box.
Where are all the posts about Otto Graham?
Otto who?
Did you know that Otto spelled backwards is ottO?
O_o backwards is o_O
otto parts.
I picture you glacing at FK on the treadmill and having to stop your workout to post that. Much like Roger rabbit with “shave and a haircut”
not quite. going’ swimming later. just eating my PBJ for now.
aka, response not terse. just fingers all sticky.
and I’m glad he did
Charming friends you’ve got there, Otto.
thanks. I made them myself
extremely nervous about the game tonight.
Well, go clean the bathroom and have a nice puke. You’ll feel better.
i already cleaned the bathroom. :(
Did anyone eat in there?
there WAS another plate and fork in there. wth!
a plate of shrimp?
it was an empty plate.
There’s something wrong with your friends.
they’re YOUR FRIENDS TOO!
They only tolerate me because they respect you.
Hey, you’re a bald, history major…THE WORLD BELONGS TO US!
Well, I DO own a globe, so I guess technically you’re right.
Thanks, I made ’em myself.
iswyd there and here.
asvd
I’m eating Egg Nog taffy at the moment and I’m not quite sure how I feel about it…it’s a mixture of turned on and shame…just like when I go to church.
This is how I feel every time my aunt kisses me.
Sadly none of my aunts are hot enough to even give me a little wood…Uncle Pete however gets my motor running.
He does that for everyone, really.
Which is why he’s often in prison.
accidentally bought caramel flavored whipped cream. 2 bottles.
Hermanos Rodriguez do not approve of drugs.
neither do i. but it’s my birthday.
I woke up yesterday and had a two inch long scrape on my nose I didn’t have when I went to bed.
The Bed Strikes Back
It looks like road rash.
I saw them in 87…they were opening for Journey.
So is it too soon to get Matt McGloin’s face tattooed on my ass?
If you were starting a women’s rhythmic gymnastic Olympic team who would you pick first?
Your mom.
Solid choice…that chick has mad skillz.
Oprah.
Oprah…Uma…Oprah…Uma…Oprah…Uma…(I have now been disqualified from ever hosting The Academy Awards)
but if you finish with oprah-dee-doo i can get you a job as a willy wonka minion.
rickey lak
Chelsea Manning.
Where are all the posts about Douglas R. Hofstadter?
I figure the worst part about getting stuck in the zombie apocalypse world of The Walking Dead would be having to suffer through those Georgia summers without air conditioning…well, that and listening to the guy who plays the sheriff do a southern accent.
RICK IS MY FAVORITE. WE CAN’T BE FRIENDS.
I only watched for the first season and a half and Rick was my favorite too. It’s a show I’ll catch back up with down the line.
Like you, he’s dead sexy.
The thing I liked about his character is he tried to keep his humanity. I’m not sure how the character has changed in the last couple of seasons but at least early on I found myself most interested in his character.
well he was deeply and permanently psychotic. for about two episodes. go writers!
So is Kay on hiatus?
Easy. Peasy.
green beans are easier.
haricot vert! (almost forgot i decided to be a foodie.)
We named the dog, Indiana…we named you Shamus Poindexter McGillicuddy Janikowski Jones
Family name?
If the next kid waits to be born after Anchorman 2 on December 20th I’ll love him…if he makes me miss seeing this movie then I’m always going to love the first kid more.
makes sense. your parents like you brother better
It’s true…I prevented them from seeing The Sting at the movies because of my birth…they’ve hated me ever sense.
Paul Newman: also sexy
One of my all time favorite actors.
I made my parents get up at 130am to go to the hospital, and I don’t think they’ve ever forgiven me.
All I’m saying is Sheep > Goats
sheep go to heaven goats go to hell
Funniest movie of all time?
Airplane!
Very solid choice.
Mine? The Money Pit
I remember seeing that one in the theaters when I was kid and finding it kind of sad.
Hello everyone. The baby is now 3 weeks old, the Niners suck, Hudson is a Giant, and I’m hiring software people. Also I fell madly in love with a 2013 TDI New Beetle, but see point the first.
Also, nice lounge, Poppy.
TDI Passat instead.
Thanks, and go As.
Definitely high on the list, but gonna drive the Golf a while longer.
It’s surprising that I’ve never owned a Golf.
This, or the TDI Jetta.
I will take this opportunity to make my occasional point that all VWs suck and everyone should avoid them always. So many better quality, more affordable cars out there.
I recognize that, as with most car brands, there are fierce VW acolytes who reject my views, and I respect their (incorrect) opinions.
This is how I feel as well, after poor experiences with 2 VW’s. Then again, Subarus are supposed to be rock-solid and I’ve had a couple of issues with mine. And my sister had 2 Toyotas that weren’t terribly reliable.
My mom’s has been running well for a good 15 years. It has it’s moments like any other car, but she still loves it. That being said, I find hiding reverse under first gear unforgivable in a car. I don’t want to wonder what fking gear I’m in based on general position, especially when first & reverse react the same only in potentially disastrous repercussions if you get it wrong.
My ex had 2 VW’s and both were plagued with problems. To be fair, both were used and I’m pretty sure the 2nd one (both were cabrios) was a summer-only car that didn’t get regular maintenance. Still, simple things like the plastic cover over the steering column simply falling off into my lap suggests unacceptably low build quality. Also, who is the moron who thought that it was a good idea to to have removable bolts holding the wheels on, as opposed to fixed bolts and simple lugnuts? Add in the fact that German cars are insanely expensive to repair and you end up with a dealership full of “no thank you.” At least in my opinion. Also, I have to admit that I drove a 2007 Rabbit once and quite enjoyed it. And if I won Powerball, I’d certainly buy a Porsche.
I can’t speak for the general public, but I’ll take my 14+ year old Golf TDI with 228K miles on it and 43MPG on average since 1999 (and higher in the last 5 years, since I don’t drive 90-95MPH regularly any more), any day of the week. It’s taken the abuse of being the band’s hauler vehicle, several fender benders, highly irregular maintenance from its flaky owner, and my 4-year flirtation with biodiesel, and it just keeps going.
I probably would not recommend a VW to anyone who needs to run to the dealer or mechanic for every issue – I take care of a lot of stuff myself, with the help of an amazing online community (tdiclub.com), and I admit that when I used to go to the dealers, they cost me a lot of unnecessary money. I don’t know whether the build quality of the current models matches that of mine. And I’m certainly not out to convince anybody – I prefer cars that are less common in general!
I do know that my car has been about as great a value as a car can be (for me), in addition to being incredibly fun (for me) to drive. And it’s not done yet.
My experience is similar – the 2004 Jetta TDI Wagon I had for six years only had one small problem at the beginning and nothing after. It was great fun to drive – we would get 42 MPG on average and topped out at 49 on a freeway only trip from Portland to Whistler and back.
We dumped it for a Honda Odyssey when our family expanded from 3 to 4. I hated that thing. After two years, we went back to a 2010 Jetta TDI sedan, which is unfortunately automatic at Mrs. PDX’s insistance, but still gets 35 MPG. Having the low-end torque of a diesel is usually unnecessary, but occasionally comes in handy. And it’s a hell of a lot more fun.
And of course as soon as I wrote that diatribe, my car seems to have sprung a fuel leak (which is much less alarming in a diesel vehicle than a gasoline vehicle – gasoline scares the crap out of me).
This is a perfect example of what I mean, though – thanks to tdiclub.com, I already know that (a) it’s most likely the fuel injection pump seal, and (b) replacing it is a $20 and 2-hour (allotting time for my clumsiness) fix.
If I took it to the dealer and said, “My car smells like fuel; please help,” it would be probably about a $2000 job. The pump alone is $1100 to replace.
So I guess it’s a good car for a hacker.
I miss having easy cars to work on.
I love my Tacoma, but I just put gas in it and change the oil sometimes.
I really, really, REALLY wish there was a small TDI truck available.
Thanks, and go As.
It’s not small, but the Ram 1500 now offers a diesel.
It’s not actually available yet is it?
Thanks, and go As.
Their website just says “coming soon,” but doesn’t show it as available on any model yet. Also, GM developed a 4.5L diesel a few years ago, but shelved the project after their bailout. I read recently (I think on motortrend.com) that they’re considering offering the engine on the new Silverado/Sierra, possibly backed by an 8- or 10-speed transmission. I don’t know, though. With that kind of displacement, I’d be surprised if they offered it on the 1500-series.
The half ton trucks are all fucking GIGANTIC now.
Thanks, and go As.
Yeah, that’s true. Still, that’s 50% more displacement than the Ram diesel. I wish they’d offer something like a 2.5L 4-cylinder diesel in the new Colorado. Or if Toyota or Nissan would offer something similar in the Tacoma/Frontier.
If my Tacoma had a small diesel it would almost be perfect.
Thanks, and go As.
That’s how I feel about my Subaru.
The same thing happened to us in the first year we owned the 2004 – it was a quick fix, but Mrs. PDX barely made it to the dealer with the few fumes left. They fixed it pretty easily and at much less than $2000.
We’ve been “told” that it had something to do with the biodiesel we were putting in there. However, while the biodiesel does tend to clear out the gunk, it shouldn’t have burned a hole in rubber after less than a year of driving.
The combination (or, rather, the alternation) of biodiesel with the now-standard ultra-low sulfur diesel is death to the rubber seals in the injection pump. Biodiesel is higher lubricity than the old school diesel #2, and the new ULSD is lower lubricity – so with biodiesel, the seals all expand, and with ULSD, they contract, resulting in leaks around the seals.
Given the cost of your repair, I wonder if it was something other than the injection pump?
I did manage to replace the head seal on the injection pump in about 3.5 hours; I did not allow for enough clumsiness (a bolt started getting stripped, I spent about 45 minutes panicking before realizing I was using the wrong size Torx on it). The leak seems to be fixed, though my hands still smell like diesel.
The TDIs are different beasts than the gas… way more reliable
I wouldn’t recommend a gasser VW to anybody.
Congrats on the baby.
Thank you!
Top Ten Comedies in no particular order…
Airplane!, Caddyshack, This Is Spinal Tap, The Naked Gun, Anchorman, Office Space, Animal House, Groundhog Day, Young Frankenstein and The Jerk.
Great list. My top five are Airplane!, Groundhog Day, Office Space, Caddyshack, and The 40-Year-Old Virgin.
The Producers, Animal House, Blazing Saddles, The Jerk, Airplane!, Caddyshack, Young Frankenstein, Murder by Death, Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure, and Wayne’s World.
22 twain
I remember finding 1941 hilarious when I saw it many many years ago, but I don’t know if it would stand up today.
Party on doctorK
murder by death. nice.
Top Secret? Anyone?
That’s a funny movie.
yes.
your pick figures well in the better lists.
http://smugfilm.com/10-woefully-underrated-comedies/
http://www.denofgeek.us/movies/underrated-comedies/194664/top-50-underappreciated-comedy-films-of-the-past-30-years
A Fish Called Wanda, Monty Python’s Holy Grail, and the Meaning of Life.
Definitely needed some Python.
there seems to be a dr strangelove gap.
since i’m face to face with my VHS tapes, i’m throwing in: easy money and/or back to school, fletch, raising arizona, monty python grail, monty python brian, peewee’s big adventure, strange brew, fast times, hairspray, and american psycho.
funny nobody’s mentioned woody yet. so i’m throwing bananas at you.
I LOVE STRANGE BREW!
ko loo ko koo koo koo koo ,koo koo
dude. it’s like hamlet. WITH BEER.
I haven’t seen it in years but I loved that movie as a kid.
My brother and I, we used to say that drowning in beer would be like heaven, eh? Well, now he’s not here, and I have two soakers – this isn’t heaven, this sucks!
I like bananas
BTS!!! “I swear..I didnt see anything. Youre perfect! “
flunk me?? flunk HIM!!!!
Love several already mentioned. Since we are entering the holiday season I will add to the listour traditional family viewing of The Ref.
You’re missing the Peter Sellers classic Pink Panther films. I’d also add the Money Pit.
i thought about shot in the dark.
bed, maui onions? go!
Well, my son will likely have a pair.
Where are all the posts about Paulina Porizkova?
just what I needed
Ed…who’s gonna drive you home tonight?
I don’t want no commies in my car. No Christians either.
you like music?
I’m into Coldplay so…no, no I don’t.
Um… sorry, I have to tell you something.
Yeah, your whole “from each according to her means” schtick was a dead giveaway.
I’ve had both Christians and commies in my car so I’m cool.
there goes bed again. shake it up, bed
come on bet, lets go
this comment used to be mine
My favorite movies of 2013 so far…Gravity, Captain Phillips and the Donnie & Marie sex tap.
or the Donny & Marie sex tape…when it comes to poor typing and spelling I’m ON FIRE TONIGHT!
Donnie tapped that?
He taped it while he tapped it.
I’ve decided these words shall go on my tombstone
Here lies Bed…He taped it while he tapped it.
They can screen the tape at your wake.
Sounds about right…they’ll all be in a good mood with me finally being dead and all.
I haven’t been moderated once today…I grew to really enjoy it…it hurt at first but then I really started to like it.
If Free Kraut gets cancelled by the network hopefully Netfilx will pick us up for a shortened final season.
The five biggest differences between the Free Kraut TV show and the Free Kraut comic book…
1. In the comic book Leopold Bloom is still alive.
2. On the TV show Oz is a woman and played by Katee Sackhoff.
3. In the comic book Jennifer cleans her bathroom after she barfs.
4. On the TV show Future Ed is Dutch and married to Chaka Khan.
5. In the comic book Kay is a Lawrence Welk aficionado.
6. On the TV show, Bed is a rabid Denver Broncos fan.
Hey!…that’s over the line, pal!
Sorry.
6. On the TV show, Bed is a rabid KC Chiefs fan.
That’s it…you’re dead to me.
Did you know that Supercalifraglilisticexpialidocious spelled backwards is suoicodilaipxecitsililgarfilacrepuS?
Kraut update: I went to a David Chang lecture about fermentation and the work they are doing at momofuku lab. “It turns out that you if you make sauerkraut spicy, it actually tastes a lot like kimchi… and that makes me really sad.”
We got to try a miso type substance made out of sunflower seeds instead of soy, a soy sauce type substance made out of spelt instead of soy, and a vegetable XO sauce made using the by products of their weird soy sauce operation.
Tomorrow we have an in-service on North American Pit Viper envenomation. I’m scaroused.
As a kid I used to watch Piper’s Pit on WWF Superstars…not sure if that helps?
Is this something ER’s deal with often in Missouri?
Beddy, there’s something I need to tell you. No one comes around here anymore because I met them all in Oakland and I scared them. Oz was saved because he refused to meet me.
pfft…we all know that your milkshake brings all the boys to the kraut.
Just a warning if we do meet up, umkay?
My nursey BFF recently took a liking to baseball. She caught a foul ball the first game she ever went to (this August). I usually fly solo but might bring her along. They don’t know my secret internet life.
That’s fine…I really hope we can set this up. I always enjoy going up to KC and I’d love to meet you.
she is remarkably nice. You wouldn’t think it, would you?
She’ll add balance to the group then since I’m so horrible and mean.
It’s because I was secretly stealing your things while you were away.
i wish you would have taken more.
I’m weird, I know this.Thanks for putting up withme.
you are welcome anytime
You just like her cuz your kids love her.
I’ll admit I’m less weird in real life but I make up for it by having fresh, minty breath.
In case you run away again, please email me so we can keep in touch.
I’m never going to quit FK…I was joking around a couple of months ago because everyone was quitting the last time I was here…I’ve just been super busy. I’m always going to be hit or miss due to my life.
Here’s my personal email for anyone except Future Ed…mrbrian@outlook.com
how come this comment is completely blank?
I posted it in invisible ink…if you have some lemon juice you’ll be able to read it.
Is Mr. Brian what the students call you, or is that just Mrs. Hawaii?
It’s what I call myself…I’m very formal when I’m talking to myself.
Where are all the posts about Spud Webb?
Dick Clark has given this lounge a 9.4, he says it has a good beat and you can dance to it.
The Bed & Miss Hawaii sex tape will involve golf balls, third nipples, pineapple, reverse cowgirl, V shaped shavings, back hair and VORP.
Favorite arcade video game?
If you’re too young to have ever played video games at an arcade I either hate you or perhaps will propose marriage to you.
Street Fighter 2 Champion Edition
Thanks, and go As.
YES
Spy Hunter for me.
i was pretty good at that one. gotta admit, the music made me get into it. and because it was the only game they had had at the liquor store where we used to go buy single cloves and those stout little dr pepper bottles that were glass with a styrofoam wrapper and you could pull it out just a little and then pop it. yay middle school!
in general, i was more of a line-drawing games guy (star wars, battle zone, tempest). my second wave was spy hunter and defender. came back to missile command kinda late. and track and field, with the comb. and the one where you jousted on ostriches but by that time i was done with arcades.
the one that killed arcades for me was that video one that was so popular because of the graphics, but you played like two sword hits and then had to wait for a minute for a 15 second video to load. at least that’s what it seemed how play was like.
gave it a whirl with b-17 bomber (intellivision?) because we’d take turns with my friend and whoever wasn’t playing had to shake the shit out of the chair for the other guy when the flak hit.
then was done with video games in general.
I played the hell out of the Star Wars game where you made a run at The Death Star…never beat it.
i don’t remember beating the whole machine but i got up a few levels. probably the game i was best at.
It was at the Century Theater…I played it every time we went there before a movie…fun game.
you’re all clear, kid!
Heh…oh, how I wanted to be Han Solo as a kid…or Indiana Jones…either one was fine.
balboa fun zone
I played it either at Shakey’s Pizza or Pizza Hut, I can’t remember which.
I don’t think there was any beating it. You’d drive along, and you’d deal with the cars bumping you, then the car with the guy shooting at you, then the cars with the spikes, then the helicopter dropping bombs, and then you’d get in the boat, and then…nothing. Fun though, mostly because of the Peter Gunn Theme.
Wait, we aren’t talking about Spy Hunter anymore.
I think that fits a lot of games of that era…they couldn’t be beat they just got harder and harder until they killed you.
You and I are living parallel lives, except for your whole wife/children/happily ever after thing.
Dragon’s Lair!
Oh…that game cost like 75 cents to play so it was a little too rich for my blood.
I would always try it 1-2 times and never get past the first thing.
I played it whenever I could talk my dad into giving me more money than normal…I was terrible at it.
Paperboy. I still think of it anytime Im driving and some cat runs out into the street.
chris elliot
Get A Life…I loved that show and I saw Cabin Boy twice at the movies.
and his daughter is both funny and hot…but then with his bald dome he was dead sexy.
She has a really cute smile.
we call him spewy.
So damn satisfying when you nailed someone with a paper.
Hitting the damned kid with the R/C car. This may have been the inspiration for GTA.
Pole Position
beep
beep
beep
boooooop
Right after that is the part where I oversteer and wander off the track.
Ivan Stewart’s Super Off Road.
Grandma has an iPhone now in prison…she reads freekraut.org daily and she just texted me that I did a really great job in the lounge tonight…she also gave me directions on how to bake a shiv into a cake for my next visit.
Hey a new documentary about JD Salinger…I think I’ll do with it like I did with Catcher in the Rye and pretend that I watched it.
I can read your mind, Oz…yes, I do have a third nipple…no, you shouldn’t eat that 9th piece of pizza…yes, I do go commando most work days…no, those pants don’t make you look fat…yes, I actually am 1-Iron, shocking I know…no, I’m not as cool as you but then no one is.
If you could read my mind, you’d piss yourself.
Good thing I’m always wearing Depends.
God damned kids today just don’t play air guitar the right god damned way!
but they can hella scratch air mp3 GUI’s.
(shakes fist) I don’t know what the hell that is!…GET OFF MY LAWN you little bastards!
The Carolina Panthers are for real y’all.
Looking that way. Makes me feel less despondent about the Niners.
Look at who’s beaten the 49ers this year. The 10-1 Seahawks; the 7-3 Panthers; A Saints team that’s undefeated at home; and the Colts, who have also beaten Seattle and Denver. At least the 49ers have been losing to really good teams.
Nation of Qatar does only thing it can to lure back a skeptical mikev to its World Cup:
It looks like Godzilla’s eye.
Is that what you call it?
Are you thinking some kind of…taco?
A warm clamshell.
Or as I like to call it…the part of the body that has made me make a lot of bad decisions.
The brain?
Sadly, I didn’t make decisions with that part of my body until my mid 30’s.
the brian?
I guess you got some of my invisible ink to post that picture.
he ddin’t have kids till he was almost 40
I kept trying to put it in the belly button hole so it took me longer than most.
But what will the landscaping design be like?
the treasure trail to the hotel?
An homage to the five-time champs: Brazilian
grrrr / heh / grrrr.
otoh, i do hope they are 5-timers in ’22.
Well groomed.
Fine…I have a John Tesh poster up in my garage…DON’T JUDGE ME!
Gosh, I post my personal email and it’s not five minutes before Bridget the Midget is sending me naked pictures of Robert Wuhl’s corpse.
This Bridget the Midget call back from 2012 is brought to you by Mitt Romney for President.
Speaking of email mine is complaintsaboutjennifer@yahoo.com.
Ha…I love it…what a great email address.
What was this song really about?
“It’s In the Way That You Use It” by Eric Clapton…It’s about having a small penis.
now do the theme from alfie.
Sorry, we here at Bed Inc. don’t do requests or take American Express.
What was this song really about it?
“Sunday, Bloody Sunday” by U2…It’s about Bono’s wife’s uh…well…um…(content deleted by Free Kraut Management)
I’m going to Disneyland next month, and I can’t decide which hat to wear. The Raiders are in season, and I get nods from fellow Raider Nation folks. Also the black/silver/white looks really really cool inside rides with blacklights. But as LA lacks an NFL team it insufficiently combative to the locals. The Tar Heels are in season, but also fail to say fuck you to Orange County folk. The Sharks are also in season, and my blue hat looks really cool, and they do represent the Bay Area while in SoCal. But hockey so who cares. And then of course there’s the green and gold of the Oakland A’s. Decisions, decisions…
You won’t be in LA. You’ll be in Anaheim. Therefore, A’s.
cal? furd? warriors?
If you really want to piss off the orange countians, “Fuck USC”
I only rock the hats of teams I’m a real fan of, none of those work. I do consider myself a real fan of Fuck USC, but the Disney goons might find such a hat objectionable.
I wear Raiders hats, A’s hats, KU hats and golf hats of whatever type of clubs I’m playing…right now Ping for all of those keeping score at home.
dreamworks?
them’s fighting compound words!
Too bad. A Panda hat will piss off anyone outside the 415.
Oaklandish silver and black snapback for the Raiders cachet without the possibility that you might be an LA Raiders fan?
That is a nice looking hat indeed. But I spent too many Little League hours rubber banding my hat brims around baseballs to get the right curvature; can’t stand flat brims.
I will be working there. Lets get lunch or something
Depends, which character costume will you be wearing?
he’ll be taking secret meetings with the dwarves while snow white’s people try to have him kicked out of the park. Look for him around Village Haus. probably near the character entrance on the pathway to frontier land.
Snow white is a bitch.
grumpy is a snitch
Three things I’ve only admitted on A’s related blogs…
1. I’ve seen several Pauly Shore movies
2. I own a Kelly Clarkson CD
3. My heroes have always been cowboys and they still are it seems
Tonight on Charlie Rose…an old white guy and a really old white guy talk about old white guy things.
I guess I know I really be old when FOX does That 90’s Show.
I looked on some sites ranking the best comedies of ALL TIME…I repeat ALL TIME and some of the top choices included The Hangover, Zoolander and Superbad…lists like this are subjective of course, but I’d say some of those folks need to see some more movies.
Superbad was legitimately funny, and I have a very low tolerance for stupid humor. The Hangover’s one funny joke told over and over again did make me smile a little…if someone make me watch II and III I’d surely gouge my eyes out though.
agree on superbad.
It wasn’t my cup of tea but I understand why people like it…I just didn’t connect to it.
I’m not saying they aren’t funny movies…well, outside of Zoolander which I thought was awful. I’m just saying for me those aren’t three out of the top five comedies of all time.
I love both Superbad and The Hangover, but don’t see Hangovers 2 & 3, they’re not so good.
Whoa, there is a Hangover 3?
I watched Hangover 2 and it was terrible. They did not write a single new joke for that movie. Absolutely everything was cribbed from the first one.
Yeah, #3 is not even as good as #2…
Much like “The Matrix” and “Pirates of the Caribbean,” it’s best as a one-and-done.
oh no you do NOT talk bad about Pirates.
Thanks, and go As.
McCutchen’s mom wears combat boots!
Just remember it could be worse…I could start doing posts that start with, Just remember it could be worse again and then do a post where I write, Just remember it could be worse…I could start doing posts that start with, Just remember it could be worse, again.
I better leave soon…I tend to start getting random and work blue after midnight.
For what it’s worth, I heard the witch say the C word like 50 times in a row last month.
To be fair, she may have been drinking that night.
Hmm…I feel like there are about five ways I could answer this and only four of them will get me in trouble…so, I’ll just say Feliz Navidad.
…and everyone knows I’m joking right? Going forward I really don’t want to be part of anymore meta drama.
she is probably using it a lot right now.
and maybe not such a bad usage by ricky gervais (scroll to the end)
Post-playoff exemption
she says C all the time, but she doesn’t call anybody a C.
i think she objects to the automatic negative connotations attached to it, and therefore women in general, when used to belittle someone through it. “you C” or “you P” = “you are less than optimal, therefore unmanly, the most optimal thing there is, because you are in some way related to or associable with a reproductive organ found only on females.” it is a sexist implication.
but if you say something like, “suck my C,” that does not belittle the organ itself nor the people born with it. rather, it implies that proper subjugation of the person being insulted, of any gender, occurs precisely via attention-giving to the holy and superior locus/temple of C-ness.
Feliz Navidad.
On the next Breaking Bed…
Disgraced history teacher Bed and his disgraced sidekick Oz decide to get into the dark underworld of the Silly Putty game and find both fortune and more disgrace…well, mostly just more disgrace.
But at least I get to say “yo” and “bitch” a lot.
Yo, ya always looking at the bright side, bitch.
Aw, Fuck it…who wants pie?
Okay kids…this has been a fun lounge. Stay cool and I’ll see you on the other side.
Peace out, Krauters.
So, Jennifer.
My sister got hired into a new grad nurse program.
at Duke. :O
Thanks, and go As.
Whoa. Big move.
Yeah.
She’s apparently still going through the process at Stanford and Vanderbilt, too.
Thanks, and go As.
Good, because FUCK DUKE.
I know I know.
Thanks, and go As.
They have a really nice butterfly garden, though.
I’m predicting Croatia and Greece to go through comfortably today, and Portugal and Ukraine to lose but sneak in on away goals.
i can’t find a page with all the relevant info at once. aggregates, live scores, irrelevant friendlies, etc… you gots?
espnfc.com
Hrm, their live score ticker doesn’t include the aggregates. That’s dumb.
see?
and i can’t believe i was idly complaining about being hungry while missing my game last night–perhaps the first time argentina played in a baseball stadium?
and, please to take notice, black shorts FTW (not to mention el kun started instead of higuaÃn).
there’s talk that the AFA would buy back players on the national team who’re not starting in their respective clubs to give them constant play till the cup. romero, 2nd goalie at monaco, doesn’t want to go back because he thinks he’s close to starting. roncaglia currently at fiorentina, would go back to boca and boca wouldn’t mind one bit.
That sounds kind of desperate.
i thought it surprisingly pragmatic.
Would they buy them and then assign them to teams in the Argentine league?
yeah. well, not assign. they’d go back to where they came from. except with romero, i heard san lorenzo, rather than racing. can’t find further info right now.
but better info, the AFA would pay half and the club half.
Fuggin espn just cut out in the middle of the supremely badass Romanian anthem while about 80,000 Bucharesters were waving their flags ominously. Hearing that makes me expect to see Count Dracula starting in central midfield.
Romania’s hopes are deader than Ceausescu now.
barring miracle, buh-bye zlatan.
:(
…
2 goals in 20 minutes is not at all out of the question. He’s going to have to score them all though.
HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLY SHIIIIIIIIIIIIT GAME ONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
:O
Croatia is going to be sweating this one…
whatever antiperspirant they are sponsored by seems to be working.
Les Blues are smelling a bit sweeter now too.
I have never seen an episode of Doctor Who, in any of its forms, and I know nothing about it other than that it is British and involves time travel — two things I am generally supportive of. I’m kind of a sci-fi novice generally. I love Star Trek and have generally liked most of the few books I’ve read in the genre, but I am not at all hardcore about it, and I don’t much care for comic books or superheroes. Any thoughts on whether I would like Dr. W, and if so, where I should begin with it? Also, is it good for kids?
TYIA, nerds.
I’ve seen like 15 minutes of one episode. I wasn’t thrilled.
Thanks, and go As.
I, too, am not a huge sci-fi fan, although maybe a bit more than you. I do very much like Dr. W, although it doesn’t, in my mind, do too much in terms of sticking to scientific theories for travelling through time and space, unlike Star Trek. But it’s good fun.
Age of kids? My nice and nephew (13 and 11, or 12 and 10, I can’t remember) love it, but it’s definitely not appropriate for my 6 year old (who gets freaked out by even relatively mild Star Wars IV).
I haven’t shown my 7 year old Star Wars yet, but I imagine he will be freaked out. We just started reading Harry Potter, though, and he is totally into it. I’m kind of into it too, If I’m being honest…
Is there particularly scary stuff in Doctor Who, or is it more just weird/uncomfortable situations?
Definitely scary stuff – monsters, mean people, frightening situations.
Hmm, OK. Maybe we need to wait a few years.
My sister freaked out on me for not having show star wars to my kids. The older one is 7 and freaked out by most movies. Wouldn’t even go see cloudy with a chance of meatballs 2 (and he knows the god damned director).
I saw star wars when it came out in the theater when I was 7, I don’t think its a big deal.
It took a lot of convincing Spawn1 to watch Star Wars and he has no interest in seeing it again, nor of seeing ESB or RotJ, despite having a Star Wars bedspread, a series of Early Reader SW books (based on episodes 1-3), and loving listening to John Williams soundtracks in general.
Spawn2 would have no problem watching it, although she would be bored.
I’m pretty sure that every conversation I had while waiting in line to return to our kindergaren classroom after recess boiled down to how many times we had seen Star Wars.
what was llama’s system? I think I want to try that order.
IV-V-II-III-VI
A better system is IV-V-VI. And it looks pretty too.
I’m totally down with that. The “Hatchet Order” post that Llama linked to, though, makes a decent case that inserting II and III in the middle actually improves VI by giving us more understanding of what Vader is all about. I’m willing to try it at least.
Oh god, but I just remembered the awful love scene with Anakin and Natalie Portman and I don’t know if I want my children to grow up knowing about such terrible filmmaking.
LOL. Exactly! There’s nothing worse than that. A whinny brat? A beautiful princess is going to fall in love with that? Totally unbelievable.
… and you didn’t have trouble with that during episodes 4, 5 and part of 6??
Are you saying that Leia fell in love with Luke? He wished.
i’m pretty sure one kiss = L♡VE.
I saw it around that age too and turned out fine. I was far more freaked out by other, theoretically more child-oriented movies. It’s time to show it to him, if for no other reason than to make sure he isn’t exposed to Episode I first (or ever, if I can help it).
I did too, at 5. I’m told I fell asleep.
I remember going to the theater to see it (I think it had been in the theaters for years by then, because I was way too young in 1977), seeing the first bit in the desert and then waking up for the blowing up of the death star, and thinking the whole thing was totally awesome.
I think I was much more freaked out watching Superman, mostly because of the noise. I must have been sitting near the speaker.
i saw it when i was 7 and i’m all fucked up. the connection is inarguable.
star trek eventually gave up with time travel science in order to be able to move the story. janeway nearly had a mantra with, “thinking about time paradoxes hurts. let’s try [insert complex maneuver name] with [trilithium/the shuttle/borg tech] anyway and see if the episode ends after 53 minutes.”
This is why I pretend Voyager doesn’t exist.
there are some classics still in there. blink of an eye kinda compares to the inner light.
Dude. The Inner Light is my jam. Like, it makes me cry every time and I want to make my wife watch it but I’m afraid she’ll be like “It’s pretty good I guess” and I’ll be crushed. The only Trek episode that has come close to it for me is The Visitor from DS9. If Voyager pulled off something that emotionally resonant, I will recant most of my shit talking. Off to Netflix!
great. now you’re gonna come back and tell me, it’s pretty good i guess…
ok. just watched it again. heavy on the “kinda.” just doesn’t have the same emotional impact.
I wouldn’t put “Blink of an Eye” on the same level as “The Inner Light,” but it was a very good episode. “The Inner Light” was amazing. Those last 3 seasons of TNG are my favorites. The show really found itself and was comfortable being what it wanted to be. They had the confidence to make the show the way they wanted and didn’t seem worried about pleasing the network or really even the fans.
Totally (although Season 7 started to get a little iffy for me). At some point around then the writers realized “Holy crap, we have the best actor on TV under contract!” and wrote all of these amazing Picard stories. Darmok, The Inner Light, Chain of Command, Tapestry — who needs Shakespeare when you’ve got that stuff?
Yeah, S5-6 were better than S7. But all three were MUCH better than S1-2. In S7, they may have felt the pressure of knowing they only had 25 episodes left, and certain things they wanted or needed to accomplish, so they forced it.
I don’t see it as all that much worse (from a plotting standpoint) than TNG. Just that the actors are worse.
Part of the problem is that they sent the ship far away from all of the interesting villain races and never came up with a compelling new one. And they didn’t serialize it enough to satisfy the decent concept at the heart of the show. Instead it was just trying to be a new TNG but with worse writers and no Patrick Stewart to carry it.
I agree with that. New Aliens every season/half-season would have been cool, but then they improbably did repeat races that should have been long in Voyager’s dust.
And you’re absolutely right about serialization.
I’d definitely rank it TNG / DS9 / Original / Enterprise / Voyager, but I think Voyager gets more shit than it should. They were never going to get a Patrick Stewart level actor.
It seemed like they weren’t really going anywhere. And that there were no consequences for their actions from episode to episode. And that one of the central plot points from the pilot — maquis terrorists forced by circumstance to join up with Federation do-gooders — was completely forgotten by the writers within one episode. Very frustrating.
I’ll grant that second part. They only ever dealt with that in gimmick form.
I did feel like there was movement initially, but then they fell into TNG style “something is happening over there… DETOUR!” plots
you would. i was a novice too. i started with the first of the 2005 series (“rose”) and felt no real loss for anything before it. go in order from there. it’s great for kids, but maybe yours are a little young yet.
I’m not much of a scifi fan in general, but liked Doctor Who, both the 70s-80s ones I watched as a kid (mostly with the 4th Doctor) and a few of the newer ones I’ve seen in recent years (9th and 10th Doctors, I think).
The flip side of having a little less of the science part of science fiction is that it wasn’t a show that took itself too seriously.
The new ones seemed a bit monotonous plot-wise (the ones I saw were almost all some shape-shifting alien race disguising itself as humans in order to conquer earth), but were still fun.
I used to watch some episodes around 1am on saturdays back in college but I “don’t remember them very well”. The theme song is all time great though.
since this is the valentine’s day post, i just want to say, ladies, don’t fight. there’s so much of me to go around that you can all dress as slutty as you like.
feel kinda shitty that the only reason i’m wearing any A’s gear is because i needed a rain hat. first A’s anything i’ve worn since you know when.
other side of the coin, funny how the paraphernalia brings you back. like how when you want to quit smoking but then see a cool cigarette case at the vintage store, was thinking of going cold turkey for a year just to see, then found an A’s coffee mug for my desk at an estate sale on sunday.
I’m still annoyed about the Hudson missed opportunity. I wish fking Bartolo would just make up his mind already. I’d actually rather he go elsewhere cause I feel he’ll come nowhere close to matching his performance from this year. I hope the A’s are looking into Haren/Johnson/Kazmir, etc.
mo’ scowl on the hudson.
Thanks, and go As.
FKer probably just wants to keep getting regular at-bats.
and facing shittier batters.
So he goes to the division where he pitches against the Dodgers?
Thanks, and go As.
For team that sucks.
that is what I don’t get
I think he does like to hit.
Perhaps not so much the baserunning anymore, though.
Johnsons gone to SD now too. Im not sure I want kazmir
Ronaldo.
If you have the means, I highly recommend watching the last 15 minutes of this on ESPN2.
Er…nevermind. Ronaldo again.
you can say that again.
and again.
and again.
OK, Ukraine still needs just one goal to knock France out. I say we let them use their hands.
merde alors.
that second one looked pretty iffy.
It was more than iffy, but Benzema had a good goal wrongly called offside right beforehand, so it smelled of makeup call.