Perfect for lawyers and criminals: DLD 102809 ← FREE KRAUT!

Perfect for lawyers and criminals: DLD 102809 69

28 Oct 2009  |  monkeyball  |The Grill
  1. I share Sully’s tawdry anticipation
  2. Pie Spy?!?
  3. #12 for #18
  4. Perfect for lawyers and criminals
you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come

69 thoughts on “Perfect for lawyers and criminals: DLD 102809”

  1. mikeA Oct 28,2009 11:11 am
    • monkeyball Oct 28,2009 11:15 am || Up

      That would also serve as a nice precis of the “moderate” Dems’ reactions to the public option.

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  2. monkeyball Oct 28,2009 11:13 am

    This is sort of my equivalent to mikeA’s linking to a certain TNR correspondent.

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  3. mikeA Oct 28,2009 11:14 am

    2. Believe me, she is in incredible danger of being the target of pies.

    • nevermoor Oct 28,2009 11:21 am || Up

      Nice.

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • monkeyball Oct 28,2009 11:22 am || Up

      1. Methinks he was the target of (ahem) pies

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  4. nevermoor Oct 28,2009 11:22 am

    re 4: Pshaw. We pay someone else to do that stuff. Much more evil that way. Also, the only way to make a hard drive unrecoverable is to actually physically destroy it. No magnet would be completely reliable.

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  5. nevermoor Oct 28,2009 11:24 am

    Re 3: Ok, I’ll bite.

    It’s a stupid deal because when you’re in a hole you stop digging. I don’t want Bradley when he’s unhappy (as he would be DHing).

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • monkeyball Oct 28,2009 11:28 am || Up

      I think he’d be happier DH’ing in Oakland than he would be playing in Mexico or the independent leagues.

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
      • nevermoor Oct 28,2009 11:34 am || Up

        I seriously doubt those end up being his choices.

        And, I don’t know that it’s right. I’d be pretty happy getting paid $21M to retire.

        "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
        • monkeyball Oct 28,2009 12:02 pm || Up

          Well, I think the stupidest aspect of my suggestion is that Milton would very likely not even report to the A’s were he traded here, given the recriminations he had for Beane on his way out.

          Of course, if that were to happen, the A’s could probably figure out a way to wriggle out from any commitment to him at all, thereby unsinking Chavez’ 2010 cost! So stupid it’s brilliant!

          you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
          • nevermoor Oct 28,2009 12:26 pm || Up

            I think that’s highly unlikely.

            "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
      • mk Oct 28,2009 12:09 pm || Up

        1. I suspect the maximum amount of time he’ll ever be happy anywhere, in any role, is one season.

        2. I doubt Beane would be willing to carry a dead $12M (okay $9M, since he’d be rid of the Chavez buyout) in 2011 just so the A’s can be a bit better in 2010. Especially since that “bit better” is contingent upon Bradley still being good (i.e. not slugging .400), staying kinda sorta healthy, and not self-destructing.

        3. The way he left and the headaches he’d almost certainly cause while here are not insignificant considerations.

        • monkeyball Oct 28,2009 12:14 pm || Up

          3. See above

          you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
          • mk Oct 28,2009 12:24 pm || Up

            So why are you flogging this if you think it’s stupid?

            If you’re trolling for a flame war, you need to invoke race and/or BABIP ASAP, or the moment will be lost.

            • monkeyball Oct 28,2009 2:01 pm || Up

              I’m pegging the idea at about 75% stupid. It actually makes more sense for the Cubs (if Chavez can limp onto the field at all, he can function as a LHPH and occasional platoon partner for the Cubs’ RHB corner IFs). But if Beane and Milton can bury the hatchet, and Milton could deal with DH’ing some/most/all of the time, it could turn out to be a positive move for the A’s.

              Two big ifs, though, and both dependent on Milton exhibiting maturity and rational c/b analysis.

              you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
              • nevermoor Oct 28,2009 2:09 pm || Up

                I’m still not convinced you have Bradley’s c/b analysis right.

                The deal makes a ton of sense for the cubs, sure. They save 9 million dollars.

                The A’s, on the other hand, have an injury-prone, disgruntled, 31 year old DH who didn’t hit all that well when he was here. And they have him for two years.

                The Chavez deal didn’t work out, but that’s no reason to shaft next year’s team.

                "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
                • monkeyball Oct 28,2009 2:14 pm || Up

                  Where else is he going to go and get a better offer of playing time? What team is going to take him? And on financial terms that are at all reasonable for the Cubs? (I’d expect Beane to exact some financial recompense in the deal.)

                  I think there’s a good chance that, if limited to DH, Milton could stay healthy and hit above replacement level. But that could be an entirely erroneous assumption.

                  you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
                • nevermoor Oct 28,2009 2:21 pm || Up

                  I’m sure he could hit above replacement level.

                  I imagine there are other teams who would take him. He is also guaranteed $21 million over the next two years. Not bad scratch if the Cubs cut him.

                  "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
                • monkeyball Oct 28,2009 2:26 pm || Up

                  I guess there’s some nontrivial chance that if the Cubs cut him, Milton would say “fuck all y’all” and walk away from the game. (I think there’s also a chance he could do that if traded to the wrong team … say, Oakland.) I don’t think it’s likely, though.

                  you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
                • nevermoor Oct 28,2009 2:44 pm || Up

                  Well, if cut he could take a year to “work on anger issues” or something. I mean, why not. Then come back healthy for league minimum somewhere (since you’re still getting paid by the Cubs) and try to earn your next contract.

                  If traded to Oakland, he couldn’t walk away without forfeiting his salary or antagonizing the A’s to the point where they cut him.

                  "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
                • monkeyball Oct 28,2009 3:01 pm || Up

                  2nd paragraph: that’s my “so stupid it’s brilliant!” scenario — A’s trade Chavez’ contract obligations for <100% of Milton's contract obligation, Milton walks away, A's no longer on the hook for anything and have a couple mill from the Ricketts family in pocket!

                  you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
                • nevermoor Oct 28,2009 3:25 pm || Up

                  Right, but I’ve never seen any indication from MB that he’s that stupid.

                  Only Zduriencik is that lucky.

                  "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
                • monkeyball Oct 28,2009 3:42 pm || Up

                  O RLY?

                  Milton gets pissed off enough, he acts against his best interests. All. The. Time.

                  A few blind quotes to Slurban post-acquisition could easily send Milton around the bend.

                  you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
                • nevermoor Oct 28,2009 5:41 pm || Up

                  When has he ever walked away from mountains of cash?

                  "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
                • andeux Oct 28,2009 4:20 pm || Up

                  That strikes me as pretty much backwards.

                  Admittedly, I’m still kind of a Bradley fanboy, but the “not all that well” that he hit in 2006 was a good bit better than any non-Holliday OF or DH hit for Oakland last year (and only a bit worse than Holliday hit). There’s a lot of risk in both the injury and behavioral departments, but there’s also a not insignificant chance that he’ll hit like he did in 2008. Maybe the sum total of that is that he’s not worth the money left on his contract, but I expect the Cubs to be able to trade him without eating too much of it.

                  Chavez on the other hand has to have close to zero value as a player right now. Nice guy, worked hard, was underrated when he was healthy, but at this point his contract is pretty much 100% sunk cost. I can’t think why the Cubs, the A’s, or anyone else would want him at this point.

                  TINSTAAFK
        • monkeyball Oct 28,2009 12:16 pm || Up

          1. On Broadway, they used to say the same thing about Jerry Orbach

          you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • mikeA Oct 28,2009 11:39 am || Up

      I don’t feel like linking, but the HH commenters are hilariously opposed to a Milton for GMJ trade. Perhaps because not only is GMJ an ace pinch hitter, but he feels that when he plays every day he can be a top line center fielder, so why aim so low…

      • monkeyball Oct 28,2009 11:58 am || Up

        Seeing Milton on the Slegna would be highly entertaining.

        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
      • nevermoor Oct 28,2009 12:28 pm || Up

        To paraphrase: HH is stupid

        "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • sslinger Oct 28,2009 11:48 am || Up

      I don’t really want Milty back either, but I’d happily trade Chavvy for the chance of Fausto Carmona being able to bounce back. Don’t know why Cleveland would do that, though.

  6. nevermoor Oct 28,2009 1:44 pm

    One of the Sullivan minions has a stupid.

    How dare that anti-gay asshole say “who they love” instead of “gay.” Of course, if he’d said “gay” I’m sure there would be something else to be pissed off about.

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • monkeyball Oct 28,2009 2:10 pm || Up

      If he’d ticked off the laundry list the minion seems to have wanted (and if he doesn’t know that’s what he’s asking for there, he is an even bigger idiot), then it would have been either a James Watt moment, or … a classic Lib/Lefty laundry list of ID politics for which the minion would have excoriated him.

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  7. nevermoor Oct 28,2009 2:06 pm

    Palin doesn’t know what “ignore” means.

    In a statement, Palin said that she and her family have “purposefully ignored the mean spirited, malicious and untrue attacks on our family.”

    She also clearly never watches fox news

    singled out CBS for giving him a “forum to propagate lies”

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • monkeyball Oct 28,2009 2:11 pm || Up

      I see she (or her lawyer) is using greengrocer’s English, too (using quote marks for emphasis).

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • monkeyball Oct 28,2009 2:27 pm || Up

      That last one’s a typo/misquote. She’s upset at CBS for giving Levi a forum to propagate pies.

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
      • nevermoor Oct 28,2009 2:44 pm || Up

        She sure can spy ’em

        "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  8. lenscrafters Oct 28,2009 3:22 pm

    Man, I know AFL numbers are pretty much meaningless but it’s hard not to enjoy Desme’s numbers. He hit two more homers today bringing it up to 10 in 12 games.

    • nevermoor Oct 28,2009 3:26 pm || Up

      THIS IS NOT A POST FOR DISCUSSING AFL SMALL SAMPLE SIZE NUMBERS.

      We’re striving for truth.

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
      • monkeyball Oct 28,2009 4:03 pm || Up

        Ceci n’est pas une petite taille de l’échantillon

        you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
        • Leopold Bloom Oct 28,2009 4:22 pm || Up

          where’s the pipe, MB? I NEED THE PIPE OR IT DOESN’T COUNT!

      • Leopold Bloom Oct 28,2009 4:19 pm || Up

        at least spell it right. big t.

    • monkeyball Oct 28,2009 3:44 pm || Up

      { whistles }

      Enter the Desme.

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  9. monkeyball Oct 28,2009 3:58 pm
    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • nevermoor Oct 28,2009 5:47 pm || Up

      Who? This guy?

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  10. monkeyball Oct 28,2009 4:00 pm

    Dammit, how was I so remiss in my duties that I forgot to note yesterday’s anniversary?

    you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  11. salb918 Oct 28,2009 4:33 pm

    UN investigating New York’s expensive housing. Next up: Amnesty International.

    • monkeyball Oct 28,2009 4:52 pm || Up

      I understand why rapporteur Raquel Rolnick’s quotes would be a bit stilted, but why does the entire article reads as if it’s been babelfished?

      It couldn’t be because of the multiple stratifications of editors, could it?

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
  12. nevermoor Oct 28,2009 5:43 pm
    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  13. nevermoor Oct 28,2009 6:19 pm

    I hope Sickels didn’t pay a graphic designer. Maybe it’s an XKCD-esque shoutout to a more innocent time.

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • andeux Oct 28,2009 6:38 pm || Up

      Or a nod to this, which Freakonomics linked to earlier today.

      TINSTAAFK
    • Leopold Bloom Oct 29,2009 3:27 am || Up

      Hey! I designed that! Screw you!

  14. batgirl Oct 28,2009 6:47 pm

    Go Utley, Go Utley!!!

    • mikeA Oct 28,2009 7:05 pm || Up

      We should trade Chavez for him.

      • green star oakland Oct 28,2009 7:50 pm || Up

        Only if they throw in Pujols.

        If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
  15. green star oakland Oct 28,2009 7:54 pm

    OK – that behind-the-back catch by Lee was hilarious.

    If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
  16. mikeA Oct 28,2009 8:08 pm

    I miss the days when if someone started giggling/cackling for no apparent reason, certain proceedings were initiated.

  17. salb918 Oct 28,2009 8:27 pm

    Jeez, A-Rod is the chokiest of chokers tonight.

  18. JediLeroy Oct 28,2009 8:31 pm

    A-rod’s pressing. He’s trying to do too much. Jeter, on the other hand, went 3-4 and forced the Philly defense to make an error with his mind rays, allowing him to score the tying run.

    az di bobe volt gehat beytsim volt zi geven mayn zeyde
    • JediLeroy Oct 28,2009 8:37 pm || Up

      Tying, first, only–it’s all the same

      az di bobe volt gehat beytsim volt zi geven mayn zeyde
      • green star oakland Oct 28,2009 10:40 pm || Up

        In New Yankee Stadium home-team runs count six-fold.

        If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
        • nevermoor Oct 29,2009 8:31 am || Up

          Jeter’s savvy enough to score six times on an RBI single. Just looking at him makes me a little tingly.

          "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  19. nevermoor Oct 29,2009 8:44 am

    Grammar Nazis… SCRAMBLE!

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • monkeyball Oct 29,2009 9:57 am || Up

      Marr’s amazing!

      you better hope to God you don't show up in this little community, because you'll wish you had never come
    • green star oakland Oct 29,2009 2:50 pm || Up

      My brother did this with a poetry homework and ended up waxing lyrical about the “infinite taciturnity” of space.

      If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
  20. nevermoor Oct 29,2009 9:04 am

    Liberals can be (at least) as stupid as Conservatives (non-Palin division).

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  21. nevermoor Oct 29,2009 9:16 am

    SSS and Hitters Park and Project Pitcher all you want. This is fun.

    Heck, I was lucky to get those numbers with my very best players in MVP 05.

    "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"

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