Game 131: Shave the Tiger ← FREE KRAUT!

Game 131: Shave the Tiger 432

Irrelevant Music Blather: So let’s begin by saying if you’ve just got the new Dylan set (hint: it’s stunning) home and are flummoxed by what isn’t on it, I’ve got you totally covered right here. Cross that one off the bucket list for one of those hardcore heretics (moi) that thinks that record (hated more than perhaps any other made in the last 50 years) is among dude’s best, and has been waiting for a deluxe set of it to appear for pretty much his whole adult life. If you don’t like Dylan, I understand… but bear in mind he is probably the most revered songwriter in human history ever to directly refer to Charlie Finley in a song.

Important Baseball Stuff: With that outta the way, then what?  The last time our lads saw Justin Verlander… well, you know. I remember sitting in the backyard in Hayward after Game 4, foot all scrunched up like a crumpled metatarsal, totally unable to 1) walk whatsoever and 2) comprehend what had just happened in the last of the ninth… and how certain, certain, sure it made me feel that we would lose not one more game on the way to the most unlikely trophy in sports history.

Maudlin Personal Story: The whole next day I felt so confident, only to end the night weeping like I did when I was 7 and the A’s beat the Mets in 7. I think we’re all here in some way waiting and hoping for that unfinished business to be completed, and we’ll do anything we can in these last 5 weeks of the regular season to will these guys — struggling so valiantly in a year when all the breaks they got in 2012 seem to be going against them… yet still through it all, they are right there — back where we need this thing to go.

Cliché-ridden closing: There are 32 games left. Today’s is a huge test and whaddaya know? Just like all the other ones it’s the only game of those 32 we can win today.

Additional bonus cliché: Let’s do this!

Actual, pertinent information:

Oakland A’s (73-57, 34-32 Road)
1. Coco Crisp (S) CF
2. Josh Donaldson (R) 3B
3. Jed Lowrie (S) SS
4. Brandon Moss (L) RF
5. Yoenis Cespedes (R) LF
6. Seth Smith (L) DH
7. Alberto Callaspo (S) 2B
8. Daric Barton (L) 1B
9. Stephen Vogt (L) C
LHP — Tommy Milone  (9-9, 4.30 ERA)

Detroit Tigers (77-54, 41-24 Home)
1. Austin Jackson (R) CF
2. Torii Hunter (R) RF
3. Miguel Cabrera (R) 3B
4. Prince Fielder (L) 1B
5. Victor Martinez (S) DH
6. Omar Infante (R) 2B
7. Matt Tuiasosopo (R) LF
8. Alex Avila (L) C
9. Jose Iglesias (R) SS
RHP — Justin Verlander (12-9, 3.68 ERA)

432 thoughts on “Game 131: Shave the Tiger

  1. nobody in particular Aug 27,2013 3:14 pm

    https://youtube.com/watch?v=YgKx2LPDeaw” frameborder=”0″ allowfullscreen>

    Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
  2. bear88 Aug 27,2013 3:41 pm

    This is another terrible pitching matchup. Verlander has been very human this year, but I am keeping my expectations nice and low.

    • Glorious Mundy Aug 27,2013 3:42 pm || Up

      I’m counting on at least four walks from Barton.

      • ptbnl Aug 27,2013 3:57 pm || Up

        When he’s pitching the 23rd inning?

        If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
      • Future Ed Aug 27,2013 6:40 pm || Up

        three to go

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
  3. Englishmajor Aug 27,2013 3:57 pm

    Prevail, Tommy! Fail, Justin!

    • Bed Aug 27,2013 4:11 pm || Up

      Which one pitches for us and by us I mean the Astros?

      But seriously, folks....
  4. Jennifer Aug 27,2013 4:05 pm

    This title is… interesting.

  5. Jennifer Aug 27,2013 4:07 pm

    I want to try In N Out some time.

    • Englishmajor Aug 27,2013 4:09 pm || Up

      Conveniently located between Oakland Airport and the Coliseum.

    • Bed Aug 27,2013 4:09 pm || Up

      The burgers are good for fast food but it’s nothing earth shattering…their fries are terrible.

      But seriously, folks....
      • Kay Aug 27,2013 4:13 pm || Up

        Their fries are the best in the business, by far.

        The first time I had them, I thought they were the worst fries I ever had. By the tenth time, everything else paled in comparison. It’s all about the seasonal flavor profiles of fresh potatoes… I’m sounding like Iglew here, huh…

        \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
        • Bed Aug 27,2013 4:15 pm || Up

          I think their fries are under cooked, mushy and gross.

          But seriously, folks....
          • andeux Aug 27,2013 4:16 pm || Up

            They’re better if you order them well done.

            TINSTAAFK
            • Bed Aug 27,2013 4:19 pm || Up

              Good to know…I have no clue when I’ll next be at one of their joints but I’ll try to remember that.

              But seriously, folks....
            • Dial C for Concupiscence Aug 27,2013 5:11 pm || Up

              Agreed for sure

          • Kay Aug 27,2013 4:17 pm || Up

            Yabut if you cook those potatoes even 15 more seconds, they’re gonna overcook.

            The only way to get uniform crispness in french fries is to pre-blanch them, freeze them, and then put them in the fryer in a frozen state.

            \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
          • Bed Aug 27,2013 4:17 pm || Up

            Iglew…there’s a name I haven’t thought of in a while.

            But seriously, folks....
      • 5Aces Aug 27,2013 4:13 pm || Up

        Disagree about the fries. Now they have 0 staying power, so you beeter eat them there or in the car.

        Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
      • ptbnl Aug 27,2013 4:14 pm || Up

        The veggie burgers are better than most too.

        If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
        • Bed Aug 27,2013 4:16 pm || Up

          That’s not a high hill to climb…most veggie burgers I’ve had have been pretty bland.

          But seriously, folks....
        • Kay Aug 27,2013 4:17 pm || Up

          They have veggie patties?

          Another secret menu score!

          \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
          • JamesV Aug 27,2013 4:40 pm || Up

            I guess Tommy Milone doesn’t like pitching with an early lead.

          • JamesV Aug 27,2013 4:42 pm || Up

            And that posted in the wrong spot, haha.

        • whimsical witch Aug 27,2013 10:03 pm || Up

          i just order the “grilled cheese with everything”

          • ptbnl Aug 27,2013 10:42 pm || Up

            Yup :-)

            If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
            • DFA Aug 28,2013 7:28 am || Up

              their burger cheese is gross is it the same cheese?

              In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
      • Soaker Aug 27,2013 4:17 pm || Up

        You can see the kid behind the counter shoving the potatoes into the potato shredder. Then the raw fries are dumped into the oil and cooked.

        At other places the fry product comes frozen in giant bags from the Fry Factory. You don’t suppose there are other ingredients in those fries besides raw potato?

        I like In-N-Out fries because I know for a fact I’m getting a natural product and not a bunch of chemicals.

        What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
        • Glorious Mundy Aug 27,2013 4:20 pm || Up

          Five Guys uses fresh potatoes too (I think). And their fries are way better. It’s because they cut them thicker.

          • Bed Aug 27,2013 4:23 pm || Up

            I like my fries crispy and thicker. We don’t have a Five Guys here…sounds like I’m missing out.

            But seriously, folks....
            • Glorious Mundy Aug 27,2013 4:24 pm || Up

              The closest one to me is in Gilroy I think. I got addicted while living on the East Coast.

              • andeux Aug 27,2013 4:26 pm || Up

                There’s one somewhere around Hayward or Fremont now.

                TINSTAAFK
                • Dial C for Concupiscence Aug 27,2013 7:01 pm || Up

                  There’s one across the street from my work in North San Jose

                • whimsical witch Aug 27,2013 10:04 pm || Up

                  there is one in hayward, or it might be san lorenzo, on hesperian, near the target

                • doctorK Aug 27,2013 10:09 pm || Up

                  Sunnyvale, near the corner of El Camino and Sunnyvale Avenue.

                • Glorious Mundy Aug 27,2013 10:11 pm || Up

                  Woo! Getting closer!!

              • Bed Aug 27,2013 4:26 pm || Up

                I have a couple of local burger joints that I love…fast food wise out here I don’t mind Backyard Burger.

                But seriously, folks....
              • Kay Aug 27,2013 4:28 pm || Up

                I think we have one in Roseville or Folsom or one of those similar exurbs I very much would like to see burned to the ground or beamed up into space by suburbia-loving aliens.

                \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
                • Bed Aug 27,2013 4:29 pm || Up

                  The last time I was back in Sac I couldn’t believe how much Folsom had grown.

                  But seriously, folks....
                • Kay Aug 27,2013 4:35 pm || Up

                  Unsustainably, and mostly around a dying big-box retail commercial model to boot.

                  \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
                • Bed Aug 27,2013 4:37 pm || Up

                  I know two people who have homes there. One of them is happy the other one wants to get out of Dodge.

                  But seriously, folks....
              • Glorious Mundy Aug 27,2013 4:29 pm || Up

                Morgan Hill, actually, not Gilroy. Same thing really.

              • nevermoor Aug 27,2013 4:37 pm || Up

                Best fast food fries in the business. Burgers are good too, but they lost their super-special status when they over-expanded.

                "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
                • Glorious Mundy Aug 27,2013 4:39 pm || Up

                  Totally agree. The burgers I remember from the East Coast outlets were incredible. I had one recently in Morgan Hill and it was sort of awful.

                • nevermoor Aug 27,2013 5:16 pm || Up

                  I mean, it’s fine. I probably like it better than InO, just because of the toppings. And the fries are WAAAAAAAAAAY better.

                  But it isn’t worth driving to Dublin.

                  "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
                • 5Aces Aug 27,2013 5:19 pm || Up

                  I think Im the inly person on Earth that doesnt love their fries. They are ok, and I will never diss a place that has vinegar for me, but they are just meh. I do like grabbing some peanuts to snack on.

                  Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
                • lenscrafters Aug 27,2013 5:22 pm || Up

                  You are not the only one who doesn’t like their fries.

                • JamesV Aug 27,2013 5:23 pm || Up

                  I need their fries extra crispy too.

                • 5Aces Aug 27,2013 5:26 pm || Up

                  I will try that. That actually makes sense.

                  Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
                • JamesV Aug 27,2013 5:26 pm || Up

                  I always err on the side of a fry that’s more well done than not. Personal preference.

                • JamesV Aug 27,2013 5:27 pm || Up

                  In fact, if I’m at a place for the first time I usually ask them how crispy they normally cook their fries.

                • Jennifer Aug 27,2013 5:23 pm || Up

                  Places that have peanuts at the table make me have anxiety attacks.

                • Glorious Mundy Aug 27,2013 5:24 pm || Up

                  They don’t have them at the table. They are in gigantic self-serve barrels.

                • Jennifer Aug 27,2013 5:28 pm || Up

                  The shells all over the floor is what bothers me most.

                • 5Aces Aug 27,2013 5:25 pm || Up

                  ??? Peanut allergy?

                  Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
                • Jennifer Aug 27,2013 5:29 pm || Up

                  Germ freak.

                • Glorious Mundy Aug 27,2013 5:30 pm || Up

                  What’s the germ angle with peanuts?

                • Jennifer Aug 27,2013 5:34 pm || Up

                  People put tem in their mouth, then spit thmem on the ground of the restaurant. I panic, especially if I’m wearing flip flops.

                • Glorious Mundy Aug 27,2013 5:35 pm || Up

                  People open peanut shells with their mouths? Savages.

                • Jennifer Aug 27,2013 5:41 pm || Up

                  Or sick bastards lick them and put them back in the bucket on the table.

                • Kay Aug 27,2013 5:46 pm || Up

                  When I was a little kid, I used to be SO gross… like unspeakably gross…

                  As an adult, I just about never get sick.

                  I think there’s a correlation…

                  \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
                • dmoas Aug 27,2013 6:08 pm || Up

                  Immunities are fun.

                • Jennifer Aug 27,2013 5:26 pm || Up

                  Baseball stadiums too. We sat in front of a mentally disabled guy at Kauffman Friday who spit shells in my hair and on my shirt.

                • FreeSeatUpgrade Aug 27,2013 6:07 pm || Up

                  Hmm, I did not realize this when I was spitting sunflower shells on the ground near our feet at the game we attended. Can’t promise it won’t happen again.

                  "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
                • Jennifer Aug 27,2013 6:10 pm || Up

                  I’ll wear shoes next time. And pants.

                • 5Aces Aug 27,2013 6:47 pm || Up

                  Pants optional day at the O.co?

                  Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
                • Jennifer Aug 27,2013 6:53 pm || Up

                  Yep. You missed it.

                • mother pucker Aug 27,2013 10:24 pm || Up

                  I am with you there. Their fries are just not my thing.

                • JamesV Aug 27,2013 5:24 pm || Up

                  The problem is I don’t think you can really compare In-N-Out to Five Guys. They’re completely different types of places, and Five Guys is about twice as expensive. You get more, but you aren’t getting your money’s worth unless you like a lot of toppings on your burger since it’s all built into what you pay up front.

                • nevermoor Aug 27,2013 5:27 pm || Up

                  I do, though.

                  And they’re both fast-but-not-instant burger places. Hard to get more specific than that.

                  "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
            • DFA Aug 27,2013 4:55 pm || Up

              They are rapidly expanding.

              In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
          • doctorK Aug 27,2013 10:10 pm || Up

            My one visit to Five Guys left me extremely underwhelmed.

        • Kay Aug 27,2013 4:21 pm || Up

          Plus, you know that kid’s making something like $12 an hour for that hard work, too.

          \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
          • Soaker Aug 27,2013 4:23 pm || Up

            The racial composition of the work force at your typical In-N-Out is very noticeably different from work forces at some of the competition.

            What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
            • Kay Aug 27,2013 4:31 pm || Up

              And unfortunately, it’s not just because of the money.

              I’ve seen quite a few people of color working at In&Out, but I do get the impression that they are held to a higher pre-hiring standard than the fresh-out-of-high-school garden variety suburban white kids that mostly hold those jobs.

              \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
              • DFA Aug 27,2013 4:57 pm || Up

                The average age of a fast food worker is 27

                In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
                • Glorious Mundy Aug 27,2013 4:58 pm || Up

                  Not at InI, I’d wager.

                • Glorious Mundy Aug 27,2013 5:00 pm || Up

                  In ‘n In, I apparently mean…

                • FreeSeatUpgrade Aug 27,2013 6:10 pm || Up

                  I’n’I build a cabin
                  I’n’I plant the corn

                  We gonna chase those crazy baldheads out of town! (sorry bed, Jah demands it)

                  "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
                • Kay Aug 27,2013 5:05 pm || Up

                  I was referring only to In&Out.

                  \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
                • dmoas Aug 27,2013 4:59 pm || Up

                  That’s sad. But just goes to show that they have to be given appropriate wages. Fking McDonalds and their asshole CEO.

                • Bed Aug 27,2013 4:59 pm || Up

                  Wow…I knew it was a bit older than most people think but I had no idea it was 27.

                  But seriously, folks....
                • Soaker Aug 27,2013 5:04 pm || Up

                  I don’t have a huge sample size but places like Jack in the Box seem heavily populated with 30-something Latinos, at least in these parts, which is why I made the observation about the contrast with I-n-O.

                  What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
                • Bed Aug 27,2013 5:07 pm || Up

                  I haven’t been to a Jack in the Box in 20 years. I probably hit fast food 2-3 times a month…it seems like it’s mostly teenagers serving me but maybe I’m not looking closely at who is really working at these places.

                  But seriously, folks....
          • DFA Aug 27,2013 4:57 pm || Up
            In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
        • Bed Aug 27,2013 4:21 pm || Up

          That is an interesting part of their setup being able to see it all and again I do like the burgers.

          But seriously, folks....
        • andeux Aug 27,2013 4:24 pm || Up

          McD’s:Potatoes, Vegetable Oil (Canola Oil, Soybean Oil, Hydrogenated Soybean Oil, Natural Beef Flavor [Wheat and Milk Derivatives]*, Citric Acid [Preservative]), Dextrose, Sodium Acid Pyrophosphate (Maintain Color), Salt. Prepared in Vegetable Oil (Canola Oil, Corn Oil, Soybean Oil, Hydrogenated Soybean Oil with TBHQ and Citric Acid added to preserve freshness), Dimethylpolysiloxane added as an antifoaming agent

          BK: Potatoes, partially hydrogenated vegetable shortening (soybean oil), modified potato and corn starch, rice flour, dextrin, salt, leavening (sodium acid pyrophosphate, sodium bicarbonate), corn syrup solids, xanthan gum, dextrose.

          TINSTAAFK
          • nevermoor Aug 27,2013 4:38 pm || Up

            Chick-Fil-A beats them.

            "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
            • Bed Aug 27,2013 4:41 pm || Up

              Around lunchtime the line for the drive-through at a Chick-Fil-A here is sometimes 35 cars long.

              But seriously, folks....
              • Kay Aug 27,2013 4:47 pm || Up

                Is it for the food, or for the opportunity to politically hate on fags while filling one’s stomach?

                \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
                • Bed Aug 27,2013 4:49 pm || Up

                  The food…Fayetteville is not a particularly hateful town.

                  But seriously, folks....
                • Kay Aug 27,2013 4:52 pm || Up

                  So they must be a particularly fat town, then…

                  \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
                • Bed Aug 27,2013 4:55 pm || Up

                  Not for the South…this is Fayetteville

                  40% have keep Fayetteville Funky stickers on their car
                  10% have confederate flag stickers on their car
                  50% have Razorback stickers on their car.

                  But seriously, folks....
                • Soaker Aug 27,2013 4:58 pm || Up

                  Fayetteville seems like a place I could deal with for a couple years if I had to. Same with Athens (probably more so). Oxford or Tuscaloosa, I doubt it.

                  What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
                • Bed Aug 27,2013 5:02 pm || Up

                  Athens is probably a good comparison. We have a real funky downtown and there are a lot of locally owned restaurants, bars and places to see music.

                  It’s a fun town.

                  But seriously, folks....
            • Jennifer Aug 27,2013 4:43 pm || Up

              Am I missing something with CFA? It was not tasty.

              • Soaker Aug 27,2013 4:44 pm || Up

                Yeah, I’m willing to put the politics aside to try something people rave about but I miss the appeal of that completely.

                What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
                • Bed Aug 27,2013 4:48 pm || Up

                  I think they’re okay…I like their chicken sandwich every once in a while.

                  But seriously, folks....
                • Jennifer Aug 27,2013 4:50 pm || Up

                  It was limp and tasted weird.

                • Jennifer Aug 27,2013 4:50 pm || Up

                  Yes, probably not the first time I’ve said that.

                • Bed Aug 27,2013 4:52 pm || Up

                  Heh

                  But seriously, folks....
                • Bed Aug 27,2013 4:51 pm || Up

                  The one I get is crispy and tasty…I have it maybe once a month.

                  But seriously, folks....
              • nevermoor Aug 27,2013 5:19 pm || Up

                Fries are better than McD and other super-major chains. I like the spicy chicken sandwiches better than a lot of that stuff too. I think it’s also healthier.

                It’s only worthwhile in the super-major fast food chain context, though.

                "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
                • 5Aces Aug 27,2013 5:21 pm || Up

                  I like their soup as a different FF option.

                  Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
                • ptbnl Aug 27,2013 6:01 pm || Up

                  On my journey home I got stuck behind a car driving 7mph down Telegraph Avenue. When I could finally get around it, it turned out to be because the driver was eating a bowl of soup. I was so close to stopping and slapping him.

                  If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
                • Englishmajor Aug 27,2013 6:03 pm || Up

                  What kind of soup?

                • AV Aug 27,2013 6:07 pm || Up

                  i’m hoping for pho.

                  *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
                • Jennifer Aug 27,2013 6:06 pm || Up

                  SOUP?!?!

                • andeux Aug 27,2013 6:24 pm || Up

                  I had a similar experience a couple months back. Going down MLK toward the 24/980/580 entrance a car was kind of lagging. When I glanced over at a red light the driver was eating something, holding the bowl in one hand and a spoon in the other.

                  TINSTAAFK
            • Dial C for Concupiscence Aug 28,2013 11:27 am || Up

              Nothing beats Zaxby’s, across the board. I wish they had them on the west coast.

              • nevermoor Aug 28,2013 1:34 pm || Up

                Don’t wish that. It’s exactly what killed 5 Guys

                "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
                • dmoas Aug 28,2013 2:00 pm || Up

                  I thought it was all that fatty food they ate that killed them. Except the one guy with the peanut allergy. He just forgot his epi-pen.

                • Dial C for Concupiscence Aug 28,2013 3:23 pm || Up

                  I would sacrifice all the west coast 5 Guys and CFAs for a Zaxby’s in the bay area.

                • nevermoor Aug 28,2013 4:00 pm || Up

                  Not my point. No matter how good it is now, if it got big enough to land out here it would lose that magic

                  "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
                • Dial C for Concupiscence Aug 28,2013 4:05 pm || Up

                  Perhaps, but considering how infrequently I’m able to have it now, I would take that chance. It’s not like they’re just rare out here; they’re completely non-existent.

              • DFA Aug 28,2013 2:55 pm || Up

                Super Duper

                In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
              • Bed Aug 28,2013 3:39 pm || Up

                I like the Zaxby’s chicken salad.

                But seriously, folks....
          • FreeSeatUpgrade Aug 27,2013 6:11 pm || Up

            So are BK’s fries extra foamy, then?

            "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
            • Jennifer Aug 27,2013 6:14 pm || Up

              Only when the fry cook jizzes in the grease.

      • JamesV Aug 27,2013 4:21 pm || Up

        All you need to do is have the fries extra crispy.

      • DFA Aug 27,2013 4:54 pm || Up

        Their fries are beyond awful. Fully agree Bed

        In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
    • AV Aug 27,2013 4:37 pm || Up

      soon coming to a crime-ridden alameda. (sorry if topic’s been covered.)

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  6. Englishmajor Aug 27,2013 4:08 pm

    Obligatory Minnesota Dylan reference: and sadly, most of the places in this 2006 tour of Dylan’s Dinkytown that were still standing when this was written are gone or about to be gone.

  7. Cretgren Aug 27,2013 4:09 pm

    Some good tags for this thread.

    • Bed Aug 27,2013 4:12 pm || Up

      I’m quite jealous of the Verland of Confusion one but Josh is a better wordsmith than I am.

      But seriously, folks....
      • nobody in particular Aug 27,2013 4:17 pm || Up

        (that was a G reference JUST FOR YOU Bri)

        Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
  8. Bed Aug 27,2013 4:10 pm

    I’m sure Bob Dylan is a genius but I’d rather pour hot wax down my ears than listen to him sing.

    But seriously, folks....
    • Bed Aug 27,2013 4:21 pm || Up

      I did like a couple of his songs in the Traveling Willbury’s CD’s…his lyrics are amazing but I just have never gotten into the voice.

      But seriously, folks....
    • nobody in particular Aug 27,2013 4:21 pm || Up

      Which is what makes the 1969-71 period so amazing, because he puts on this character (different voice, indistinguishable from his own, and everything) and becomes a completely different artist in the process.

      People who think that Bowie was the first to shapeshift are off base, Dylan did it first.

      Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
      • Glorious Mundy Aug 27,2013 4:23 pm || Up

        Which albums are we talking about here?

        • andeux Aug 27,2013 4:25 pm || Up

          Nashville Skyline for one.

          TINSTAAFK
          • nobody in particular Aug 27,2013 4:31 pm || Up

            Nashville Skyline, Self Portrait and New Morning

            Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
            • Glorious Mundy Aug 27,2013 5:11 pm || Up

              I don’t think I’ve heard any of those. I am ashame.

              • AV Aug 27,2013 5:16 pm || Up

                i’m sure you’d recognize the album covers.

                *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
              • andeux Aug 27,2013 5:20 pm || Up

                You must know “Lay Lady Lay.”

                TINSTAAFK
                • Glorious Mundy Aug 27,2013 5:22 pm || Up

                  Yes. It’s been a very long time since I’ve heard it though. I am going to have to do some remedial Dylan work.

                • nobody in particular Aug 27,2013 5:44 pm || Up

                  what makes the 1969-71 period so fascinating even beyond the music is that he intentionally tried to make music (Self Portrait in particular) designed and premeditated to destroy his audience’s absurd notion that he was their Messiah. He decided he’d attempt to make music the hippies’ parents would like, if only so they’d stop coming around his Woodstock house at 6am to kneel at his doorstep reverentially.

                  Not only did it work (he was never again regarded as anyone’s savior or spokesman), but now 40+ years later he’s getting to have his cake and eat it as the record — with the release of this deluxe package detailing it — is rehabilitated and takes its place as one of his acknowledged best and most honest, phony smooth crooner voice and all.

                  I love Self Portrait so much for exactly this reason: that it manages to achieve total honesty through total deception. It also prefigures the obligatory “Great Artist’s Jukebox” records and CDs, where you get to hear the music that inspired the artist to become what he/she is… except that unlike those other albums that feature the original versions of the inspirational tunes, this one has the artist’s own, completely unique interpretations.

                  Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
          • Kay Aug 27,2013 4:34 pm || Up

            then Self Portrait, then New Morning

            “Planet Waves” was his return-to-form right before the great masterpieces that were “Blood On The Tracks” and “Desire.”

            \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
            • Bed Aug 27,2013 4:35 pm || Up

              If you want later on I’ll break down Mike + the Mechanics early work for everyone.

              But seriously, folks....
              • Bed Aug 27,2013 5:10 pm || Up

                I could actually do this…from memory…I’m just that damn cool.

                But seriously, folks....
      • Kay Aug 27,2013 4:23 pm || Up

        The lineage goes back further than that, back to Screamin’ Jay Hawkins and his transformation into whatever the horror B-movie hit of the moment was…

        \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
      • Bed Aug 27,2013 4:24 pm || Up

        I saw that Scoresese documentary about Dylan and I enjoyed it…maybe one of these years I’ll go back and listen to the earlier stuff.

        But seriously, folks....
        • nobody in particular Aug 27,2013 6:25 pm || Up

          There’s songwriting before him and songwriting after. That’s why he’s so revered despite having a sandpaper voice.

          Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
  9. 5Aces Aug 27,2013 4:15 pm

    I could be crazy, but I swear I have heard Ray come to the table with an actual interesting thought or 2 recently.

    Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
    • Glorious Mundy Aug 27,2013 4:17 pm || Up

      Clips or it didn’t happen.

    • Kay Aug 27,2013 4:19 pm || Up

      He must have started taking his ritalin again…

      \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
  10. Soaker Aug 27,2013 4:19 pm

    I’m not an expert on Detroit weather but it’s hard to see how they can play more than a couple innings. Burning Milone vs. burning Verlander, hmmm who benefits more there?

    What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
    • Glorious Mundy Aug 27,2013 4:22 pm || Up

      I don’t think I’m going to Burning Milone this year. It’s gotten too commercial.

      • FreeSeatUpgrade Aug 27,2013 4:45 pm || Up

        Don’t hate the Playa, hate the game.

        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • Bed Aug 27,2013 4:25 pm || Up

      Midwest weather changes quickly this time of year.

      But seriously, folks....
  11. 5Aces Aug 27,2013 4:20 pm

    Runs? RUNS!

    Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
  12. nobody in particular Aug 27,2013 4:22 pm

    Hit ’em where they ain’t, Jed Lowrie.

    Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
  13. Glorious Mundy Aug 27,2013 4:25 pm

    Has Donaldson hit second before?

  14. Englishmajor Aug 27,2013 4:26 pm

    Well, at least Cespedes made him throw 7 pitches. That’s something.

  15. Bed Aug 27,2013 4:28 pm

    So, do you think we make any trades before September 1?

    But seriously, folks....
    • Kay Aug 27,2013 4:36 pm || Up

      Dan Haren

      \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
      • Bed Aug 27,2013 4:38 pm || Up

        So, we only trade for player we previously had now?

        But seriously, folks....
        • Bed Aug 27,2013 4:43 pm || Up

          That is not my finest sentence ever.

          But seriously, folks....
          • andeux Aug 27,2013 4:48 pm || Up

            You may have invented a new tense.

            TINSTAAFK
            • Bed Aug 27,2013 4:50 pm || Up

              Bed: Inventor of things no one wanted.

              But seriously, folks....
        • Kay Aug 27,2013 4:48 pm || Up

          I’d trade Milone and a minor prospect and cash for him right now

          \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
          • dmoas Aug 27,2013 4:50 pm || Up

            I’d trade Billy Beane’s left nut for him.

            • FreeSeatUpgrade Aug 27,2013 4:53 pm || Up

              If Billy’s experience is anything like that of other parents I’ve known who had twins, he may be willing to give that away for free.

              "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  16. Glorious Mundy Aug 27,2013 4:29 pm

    This is a lot of pitches for the V man.

  17. Jennifer Aug 27,2013 4:32 pm

    Pounce bitches!

  18. AV Aug 27,2013 4:34 pm

    WAITWHAT?!?

    i didn’t feel any hurry to show up to this game. i guess mr V didn’t either.

    great writeup, emperor.

    *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • nobody in particular Aug 27,2013 4:57 pm || Up

      thx AV :)

      Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
  19. Glorious Mundy Aug 27,2013 4:37 pm

    Nice start Tommy.

  20. Glorious Mundy Aug 27,2013 4:37 pm

    Too soon to warm up Chavez?

  21. nobody in particular Aug 27,2013 4:38 pm

    Wow Milone, a leadoff walk. What could go wrong?

    This guy dared to tell me at Fan Fest he was not gonna walk hitters.

    Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
    • Glorious Mundy Aug 27,2013 4:40 pm || Up

      Used to be he didn’t walk hitters.

      • AV Aug 27,2013 4:42 pm || Up

        just batters?

        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  22. lenscrafters Aug 27,2013 4:38 pm

    GETHIMOUTGETHIMOUTGETHIMOUT

  23. AV Aug 27,2013 4:41 pm

    he’s just handicapping verlander to make things even again.

    *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • AV Aug 27,2013 4:44 pm || Up

      ok. now he can start.

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  24. Englishmajor Aug 27,2013 4:43 pm

    Tommy Milone showed faith in Stephen Vogt by throwing that curveball in the dirt with a runner on 3rd.

    Scout is Pollyanna, isn’t she?

    • JamesV Aug 27,2013 4:44 pm || Up

      They really need to retire that “feature.”

  25. lenscrafters Aug 27,2013 4:44 pm

    Where the fuck is Brett Anderson. Why do we have to watch this bullshit.

  26. nobody in particular Aug 27,2013 4:45 pm

    Hard to wonder if Milone will get a single out in this game.

    Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
    • Soaker Aug 27,2013 4:47 pm || Up

      Leave him in there and hope for a rainout seems like the best bet.

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
    • dmoas Aug 27,2013 4:47 pm || Up

      I’m not even watching based on what little I saw I want him the fuck out of there. Holy crap.

  27. Glorious Mundy Aug 27,2013 4:45 pm

    40 minutes into this game there are still no outs in the bottom of the first.

  28. dmoas Aug 27,2013 4:46 pm

    Please tell me the bullpen is up. Get him out of there.

  29. FreeSeatUpgrade Aug 27,2013 4:46 pm

    This is as Fail as it gets in the Shutdown Inning department.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • Kay Aug 27,2013 4:54 pm || Up

      Shitdown Unning…

      \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
      • Bed Aug 27,2013 5:14 pm || Up

        That French Onion dip strikes again.

        But seriously, folks....
  30. JamesV Aug 27,2013 4:50 pm

    Well, now Callaspo has some redemption to do with the bat.

  31. Soaker Aug 27,2013 4:51 pm

    Oh, we have D’Angelo Jimenez playing 2B?

    What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
  32. nobody in particular Aug 27,2013 4:51 pm

    Because we have to play good defense to beat these guys…

    Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
  33. Glorious Mundy Aug 27,2013 4:52 pm

    Unreal

  34. lenscrafters Aug 27,2013 4:54 pm

    I don’t get it. When did Callaspo win the starting job over Sogard?

  35. 5Aces Aug 27,2013 4:54 pm

    So on a pace for just a shade under 9 hours. Exactly what we need.

    Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
    • Soaker Aug 27,2013 4:56 pm || Up

      Game thread is on pace for 1100 comments. We’ll have to think of more topics like the In-N-Out fries.

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
      • Bed Aug 27,2013 4:57 pm || Up

        Hmm…well, Burger King’s onion rings are nasty…or at least the ones I had back in 1989 were…which is the last time I ate at Burger King

        But seriously, folks....
      • Jennifer Aug 27,2013 5:00 pm || Up

        You’re welcome.

    • Jennifer Aug 27,2013 4:56 pm || Up

      … like a hole in the head.

  36. Englishmajor Aug 27,2013 4:59 pm

    Meanwhile, in southern California:

    • Bed Aug 27,2013 5:03 pm || Up

      Is he basically retired?

      But seriously, folks....
      • Kay Aug 27,2013 5:07 pm || Up

        He’s already an angry Grandpa.

        \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
        • Bed Aug 27,2013 5:08 pm || Up

          GET OFF MY DAMN LAWN AND MY DAMN MOUND!

          But seriously, folks....
  37. nobody in particular Aug 27,2013 5:04 pm

    Wow, Milone is getting married! I wonder if, on his wedding night, he will nibble around the edges and change speeds liberally before grooving one right down the pipe as usual.

    Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
    • Jennifer Aug 27,2013 5:06 pm || Up

      BWHAHAHAHAHA

    • dmoas Aug 27,2013 6:10 pm || Up

      I don’t know. But I hope his new wife has the bullpen warmed up and ready.

      • Kay Aug 27,2013 6:26 pm || Up

        I SO want a bullpen!

        \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Aug 27,2013 6:12 pm || Up

      Hee hee!

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  38. Glorious Mundy Aug 27,2013 5:08 pm

    Speaking of fast food and the South, I was passing through Charlotte International Airport one recent morning and found a Bojangles right next to my gate. Nom nom nom nom…

  39. lenscrafters Aug 27,2013 5:12 pm

    Great at bat by Moss.

  40. Bed Aug 27,2013 5:13 pm

    If you want me to liven up the game thread I could talk about the socks my wife bought for me today…it might be a little too edgy and NSFW but we could risk it.

    But seriously, folks....
    • 5Aces Aug 27,2013 5:17 pm || Up

      Tube socks? Ankle cut? Details man…im on the edge of my seat.

      Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
      • Bed Aug 27,2013 5:18 pm || Up

        Nike Ankle Cut socks…sorry I didn’t go in to detail earlier.

        But seriously, folks....
        • AV Aug 27,2013 5:19 pm || Up

          what color is the pompom?

          *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
          • Bed Aug 27,2013 5:21 pm || Up

            Originally blonde but some white has begun to show up.

            But seriously, folks....
    • aardvark Aug 27,2013 5:19 pm || Up

      My socks don’t match. Well, they do…but they don’t.

    • Glorious Mundy Aug 27,2013 5:19 pm || Up

      Congratulations! As DFA has pointed out, new socks are one of life’s great pleasures.

      • AV Aug 27,2013 5:22 pm || Up

        it’s really the only thing i miss after discovering the flipflop lifestyle last spring.

        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
        • Bed Aug 27,2013 5:23 pm || Up

          I don’t wear flip flops….I’m a Republican.

          But seriously, folks....
        • DFA Aug 27,2013 5:37 pm || Up

          you don’t miss having warm feet?

          In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
          • AV Aug 27,2013 5:51 pm || Up

            they don’t get cold anymore. most of the time a breeze on my toes is a delightful thrill. i think maybe keeping our feet damp and covered all the time makes them more susceptible to cold, but once the skin gets cured by air and sun like the back of your hand, no prob.

            *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
            • nevermoor Aug 27,2013 6:18 pm || Up

              Agreed. I hate wearing shoes since my feet get hot (probably because I’m usually barefoot/flopped away from work)

              "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
              • AV Aug 27,2013 6:32 pm || Up

                i’m still new. do you have a good brand of non-plastic flipflops? i fell for bob marleys hard (the burlap sold me, i got a few pair all at once), but they are actually kinda cheaply made and get real ratty real quick. i need some that feel like natural materials but that i can wash.

                *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
          • 5Aces Aug 27,2013 6:03 pm || Up

            Hot feet suck.

            Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
            • FreeSeatUpgrade Aug 27,2013 6:13 pm || Up

              I now only ever wear sandals on airplanes, since hot feet on planes are about as unpleasant as it gets.

              "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
              • dmoas Aug 27,2013 6:19 pm || Up

                So instead we all have to smell your feet in an enclosed space with recirculated air. Thanks.

                • FreeSeatUpgrade Aug 27,2013 6:22 pm || Up

                  My feet smell like roses.

                  "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
              • Jennifer Aug 27,2013 6:20 pm || Up

                I go flip flop for flights to make it easier to get through the security line.

      • DFA Aug 27,2013 5:37 pm || Up

        smiles

        In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
      • dmoas Aug 27,2013 6:21 pm || Up

        The only good thing about socks is that moment after a long day when you take them off.

        • doctorK Aug 27,2013 10:15 pm || Up

          this x365

        • 5Aces Aug 27,2013 11:08 pm || Up

          I’ve always heard that is bras and pony tails.

          Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
          • whimsical witch Aug 27,2013 11:14 pm || Up

            definitely bras.

            • AV Aug 28,2013 12:39 am || Up

              i know i feel good when i take one off.

              *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
              • nobody in particular Aug 28,2013 2:39 am || Up

                bowchickawowwowwwwwww

                Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
  41. JamesV Aug 27,2013 5:14 pm

    High fastball or something down and away?

  42. JamesV Aug 27,2013 5:14 pm

    Mistake pitch for a Cespedes double and RBI.

    • Glorious Mundy Aug 27,2013 5:15 pm || Up

      I don’t know. Fastballs right down the middle have seemed like a pretty good way to pitch him recently.

  43. lenscrafters Aug 27,2013 5:15 pm

    {puts down torch and pitchfork}

    • Future Ed Aug 27,2013 9:04 pm || Up

      hee

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • DFA Aug 28,2013 7:32 am || Up

      there are better sites to get music reviews from than pitchfork

      In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
  44. nobody in particular Aug 27,2013 5:16 pm

    Verlander was so engrossed in his conversation with the 2nd base umpire that he threw a meatball even #52 could hit :)

    Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
  45. Soaker Aug 27,2013 5:17 pm

    Verlander getting sidetracked by a discussion about balks (apparently) with the 2B umpire, just wasn’t a good look for him in that inning.

    What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
  46. Bed Aug 27,2013 5:20 pm

    This seems like a game that might need 6 or more runs to win.

    But seriously, folks....
  47. JamesV Aug 27,2013 5:22 pm

    Hehe, CJ Wilson.

  48. 5Aces Aug 27,2013 5:23 pm

    Tommy says he refuses to shut it down!

    Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
  49. lenscrafters Aug 27,2013 5:25 pm

    Oh god, it’s happening again.

  50. AV Aug 27,2013 5:27 pm

    roxy said motor city kitties. i thought that was ours/AN’s. or is it more general than that?

    also, it’s not like i expected him to recite william blake. (what do you mean william blake?)

    *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • Glorious Mundy Aug 27,2013 5:27 pm || Up

      I first heard it from CT.

      • AV Aug 27,2013 5:33 pm || Up

        makes me think he might have picked it up from the group still. or calls perhaps. not that important i guess, just struck me.

        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • Soaker Aug 27,2013 5:31 pm || Up

      Oh gosh, the writers in the Sporting News were calling them that 40 years ago. “The Pale Hose” comes from that style of writing too.

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
      • AV Aug 27,2013 5:35 pm || Up

        really? interesting.

        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • 5Aces Aug 27,2013 6:51 pm || Up

        I wonder if there was ever an effort for “the crimson hose” or similar?

        Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
    • andeux Aug 27,2013 5:32 pm || Up

      TINSTAAFK
    • Bed Aug 27,2013 6:02 pm || Up

      I heard motor city kitties long before I was ever on the internet.

      But seriously, folks....
  51. andeux Aug 27,2013 5:42 pm

    Verlander and Milone both 3 R, 3 H, 3 BB, 3 K

    TINSTAAFK
  52. mother pucker Aug 27,2013 5:51 pm

    I have the game on mute. Once this thing gets delayed, have they said whether or not it is expected to resume?

    • AV Aug 27,2013 5:52 pm || Up

      HR moss.

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • AV Aug 27,2013 5:53 pm || Up

        never mind. i thought you had the radio on mute. ha.

        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
        • mother pucker Aug 27,2013 5:55 pm || Up

          Haha. When it was Ray, Roxy, and Vince this past Saturday, that thought certainly crossed my mind.

        • dmoas Aug 27,2013 6:17 pm || Up

          Ha! I just got here and thought the same thing.

  53. JamesV Aug 27,2013 5:52 pm

    Moss homer!

    Too early to think about taking Milone out now and putting in someone you hope can pitch a quick bottom of the 5th?

    • AV Aug 27,2013 5:54 pm || Up

      but but, the pitcher of record!

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • andeux Aug 27,2013 5:54 pm || Up

      Not a bad idea.

      TINSTAAFK
    • mother pucker Aug 27,2013 5:56 pm || Up

      This is a real question-given the shape of the bull-pen, who would that be?

  54. mother pucker Aug 27,2013 5:52 pm

    Wow, fk yeah!

  55. Soaker Aug 27,2013 5:54 pm

    The umpires dig themselves a deep hole when they play in the rain this long and then somebody takes the lead like that.

    What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
  56. nobody in particular Aug 27,2013 5:55 pm

    Quick 3 outs—->more rain—->tarps—->called after 5—->A’s win

    Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
    • AV Aug 27,2013 5:57 pm || Up

      apparently the groundskeeper here has experience with all types of grass. not sure why i thought of you at that moment…

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • nobody in particular Aug 27,2013 6:08 pm || Up

        I was doing some grass examination and maintenance just now, funny you’d mention that.

        Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
  57. JamesV Aug 27,2013 5:58 pm

    SPLITS – almost

  58. Englishmajor Aug 27,2013 5:58 pm

    Woo, one out!

    • AV Aug 27,2013 6:00 pm || Up

      two!

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  59. 5Aces Aug 27,2013 5:59 pm

    You know what? Only staplehead makes that out.

    Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
    • Kay Aug 27,2013 6:06 pm || Up

      You’re probably right…

      \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
  60. JamesV Aug 27,2013 6:01 pm

    Well, it’s official now.

  61. mother pucker Aug 27,2013 6:01 pm

    A’s win?

  62. 5Aces Aug 27,2013 6:01 pm

    THIS WEATHER IS DANGEROUS! Call it!

    Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
  63. nobody in particular Aug 27,2013 6:02 pm

    That’s right, Trout, “TOASTED”… like the Angels franchise :)

    Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
    • mother pucker Aug 27,2013 6:03 pm || Up

      It is better for the A’s to have them winning tonight, though.

      • nobody in particular Aug 27,2013 6:07 pm || Up

        yes yes yes

        Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
    • Kay Aug 27,2013 6:29 pm || Up

      They are SO fkd it’s not even funny. I wonder if they’ll see the north side of .500 again this decade…

      If I was Moreno, I’d package Pujols, Hamilton, AND Trout, and see if I could get someone to take the albatross contracts (and a prime prospect or three) off my hands in exchange for getting the Kid too…

      \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
      • nobody in particular Aug 27,2013 6:33 pm || Up

        Trout must be wondering WTF went wrong, now he’s stuck on a crappy team that might suck for a minute.

        Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
  64. JamesV Aug 27,2013 6:06 pm

    Smith lit that one up.

  65. Englishmajor Aug 27,2013 6:06 pm

    Okay, don’t call it.

  66. nobody in particular Aug 27,2013 6:06 pm

    WOW Seth Smith!!!!!!! And FK you Torii for the senseless deke with the glove, dumbass.

    Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
    • mother pucker Aug 27,2013 6:11 pm || Up

      He really does seem like a total asshole.

      • nobody in particular Aug 27,2013 6:14 pm || Up

        If we face them in the playoffs, I have a very amusing plan that includes Diamond Level seating, a hot young guy, and repeatedly asking Torii if it’s ok if I make out feverishly with said hot guy during his ABs. And then doing so.

        Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
        • Kay Aug 27,2013 6:31 pm || Up

          Love. It.

          \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
        • Glorious Mundy Aug 27,2013 7:07 pm || Up

          Huh. I completely missed that Toriiii came out as a homophobe. I know feel even better about hating him.

      • lenscrafters Aug 27,2013 7:10 pm || Up

        I fking hate his stupid bat flip.

  67. Soaker Aug 27,2013 6:16 pm

    The game was getting that NFL exhibition “Don’t get hurt!” feel.

    What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
  68. AV Aug 27,2013 6:16 pm

    when the stars threw down their spears,
    and water’d heaven with their tears…

    *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  69. Jennifer Aug 27,2013 6:17 pm

    Strip Go Fish?

    • Bed Aug 27,2013 6:22 pm || Up

      I’m in but I should warn you playing Strip Go Fish is how I paid for college.

      But seriously, folks....
      • Jennifer Aug 27,2013 6:25 pm || Up

        I’ve been working 4-5 12 hour shifts a week. I can afford it.

    • andeux Aug 27,2013 6:32 pm || Up

      Do you have any seventeens?

      TINSTAAFK
  70. Englishmajor Aug 27,2013 6:29 pm

  71. Englishmajor Aug 27,2013 6:51 pm

    Bummer.

  72. lenscrafters Aug 27,2013 6:52 pm

    I gotta say, if the A’s win today, my expectations for this series will have been met.

    • 5Aces Aug 27,2013 6:54 pm || Up

      The entire road trip for me, and I was hoping for 2 in Baltimore.

      Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
    • andeux Aug 27,2013 6:59 pm || Up

      Mine will have been exceeded.

      TINSTAAFK
  73. Englishmajor Aug 27,2013 7:09 pm

    So how ’bout that Bay Bridge?

    • Glorious Mundy Aug 27,2013 7:10 pm || Up

      KTVU has a countdown clock for the closure that is down to the second. That might be a little more precise than necessary.

      • Englishmajor Aug 27,2013 7:16 pm || Up

        Our reporter who’s been out on the new bit says the view of the East Bay is really spectacular. He says it’ll give drivers the same sense of wow driving east from Treasure Island that you get now driving west on the upper deck, when you come out of the tunnel and suddenly there’s San Francisco.

        • FreeSeatUpgrade Aug 27,2013 7:21 pm || Up

          Neat! You can count me as one who thinks that investing more money on the more aesthetically pleasing bridge design plan was the right choice.

          "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
        • Soaker Aug 27,2013 7:22 pm || Up

          In that case I’d probably wait at least a month to drive on that.

          What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
    • Jennifer Aug 27,2013 7:13 pm || Up

      It’s cute. But I like old guys.

  74. Jennifer Aug 27,2013 7:12 pm

    Tomorrow’s game is on MLB Network.

  75. Glorious Mundy Aug 27,2013 7:19 pm

    We done here?

    • Soaker Aug 27,2013 7:21 pm || Up

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
  76. Glorious Mundy Aug 27,2013 7:30 pm

    Games in Detroit always make me think of Bill King talking about the restaurants he liked in Greektown.

  77. Glorious Mundy Aug 27,2013 7:32 pm

    It’s a final!

    • Bed Aug 27,2013 7:33 pm || Up

      But I haven’t studied…damn me for partying this whole semester.

      But seriously, folks....
      • AV Aug 27,2013 7:41 pm || Up

        and i came to school naked. i hate this dream.

        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
        • andeux Aug 27,2013 7:43 pm || Up

          That’s going to put you at a severe disadvantage at strip go fish. Or maybe an advantage. I’m not sure.

          TINSTAAFK
    • nevermoor Aug 27,2013 8:18 pm || Up

      Who had “Milone outduels Verlander in CG outing”?

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
      • nobody in particular Aug 27,2013 8:23 pm || Up

        I did. But then I also had about 14 bong rips of Tahoe OG, several Quaaludes and what I think might have been DMT, so…

        Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
        • Kay Aug 28,2013 11:40 am || Up

          I hope you said Hi to the machine elves and Terence McKenna for me.

          \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
          • nobody in particular Aug 28,2013 4:22 pm || Up

            not only did I say Hi, I transcribed Terence McKenna’s posthumous autobiographical memoirs onto the head of a pin as well.

            Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
            • Kay Aug 28,2013 7:24 pm || Up

              Pinheads are so HUGE!

              \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
              • AV Aug 28,2013 8:20 pm || Up

                yet they manage to move.

                *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • Bed Aug 27,2013 8:23 pm || Up

        Brian29

        But seriously, folks....
  78. JamesV Aug 27,2013 7:33 pm

    Game called. A’s win.

  79. Englishmajor Aug 27,2013 7:36 pm

    Suck it, Rally Tiger!

  80. mother pucker Aug 27,2013 7:37 pm

    Fk yeah!

  81. nobody in particular Aug 27,2013 7:38 pm

    Game called. We win!

    Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
  82. 5Aces Aug 27,2013 7:38 pm

    Sweet wet Kraut; a split at least! Every time we lose hope they pull us back in.

    Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
  83. AV Aug 27,2013 7:41 pm

    wooo!

    *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  84. FreeSeatUpgrade Aug 27,2013 7:47 pm

    Victory! Another complete game from a dominant A’s starter!

    So, apparently those top of the 6th stats count? When did they start doing that?

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • Soaker Aug 27,2013 7:56 pm || Up

      NOTHING HAS CHANGED (at least not recently).

      4.11 The score of a regulation game is the total number of runs scored by each team at the moment the game ends.

      (d) A called game ends at the moment the umpire terminates play, unless it becomes a suspended game pursuant to Rule 4.12(a).

      ———-

      10.03 (e) CALLED AND FORFEITED GAMES.

      (1) If a regulation game is called, the official scorer shall include the record of all individual and team actions up to the moment the game ends, as defined in Rules 4.10 and 4.11.

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
      • FreeSeatUpgrade Aug 27,2013 8:07 pm || Up

        Really, huh. I know (at least I thought I knew) at some point in my lifetime the rule was to revert back to the last completed full inning. Any recollection of when that changed, if it ever did?

        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
        • Soaker Aug 27,2013 8:28 pm || Up

          The only time the score reverts, and has ever reverted to my recollection, is when the visiting team ties the game or takes the lead in the top of an inning after the fifth, and then the game is called before the home team completes its bottom of the inning or ties the game or takes the lead. In those situations the visitors’ runs are taken off the board and the home team is declared the winner. Previous discussion of this rule, which was reinstated for this season and impacted a game in St. Louis, here.

          What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
    • Dial C for Concupiscence Aug 28,2013 12:35 pm || Up

      The A’s leave the bases loaded! We’re all doomed!

      • Future Ed Aug 28,2013 12:37 pm || Up

        FUCK THIS TEAM, bases loaded nobody out and THEY CAN NOT FUCKING SCORE!

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
  85. mother pucker Aug 27,2013 7:47 pm

    If this has been discussed, I apologize, but why is Colon going on Thursday in place of Parker?

    • Glorious Mundy Aug 27,2013 7:50 pm || Up

      They want to give Parker extra rest.

  86. mother pucker Aug 27,2013 7:48 pm

    Also, despite having lost the season series to those mighty Mariners, Oakland finds itself one-win away from winning this thrilling best of seven against Detroit.

  87. andeux Aug 27,2013 7:48 pm

    Tampa, Baltimore, Cleveland all lose.

    TINSTAAFK
    • nobody in particular Aug 27,2013 7:57 pm || Up

      Come on Seattle, win a FKing game.

      Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
      • ptbnl Aug 27,2013 9:24 pm || Up

        … against someone other than the A’s.

        If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
      • sslinger Aug 27,2013 10:16 pm || Up

        Not going to do it by bunting with two on and nobody out. Not to mention popping it up to the pitcher.

  88. mother pucker Aug 27,2013 9:33 pm
    • dmoas Aug 27,2013 9:35 pm || Up

      Did they ever?

    • Soaker Aug 27,2013 9:41 pm || Up

      The tweeted photo of Blazing Jeeps was the only time I noticed that guy. It seems like there are a lot of refugees from CSN’s Bay Area operation moving on to bigger and better things. Jaymee Sire at ESPN too now?

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
      • mother pucker Aug 27,2013 9:45 pm || Up

        Yes, she is. Last seen I believe doing some side-line reporting at the LLWS.

    • Englishmajor Aug 27,2013 10:37 pm || Up

      Gutierrez was awful. Good riddance.

    • DFA Aug 28,2013 7:38 am || Up

      the possibility that Andrew Baggarly might travel with the Athletics if they reach the postseason.

      fk that dude hes a douchebag

      In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
  89. Glorious Mundy Aug 27,2013 9:49 pm

    Dammit. The Rays are pushing Price back to Friday.

    • Future Ed Aug 28,2013 11:05 am || Up

      bullpen breaking down though.

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
  90. JamesV Aug 28,2013 7:22 am

    • dmoas Aug 28,2013 8:32 am || Up

      In fairness, they do play on a baseball field.

  91. AV Aug 28,2013 11:16 am

    i think the real contest for tomorrow’s game should be about who’s got the goofier picture.

    *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
    • Glorious Mundy Aug 28,2013 11:17 am || Up

      Tough to beat a guy with inconsistent eye color.

      • dmoas Aug 28,2013 11:40 am || Up

        But if anyone could do it, it would be Bartolo’s hair.

    • aardvark Aug 28,2013 2:52 pm || Up

      The pic in the scrolling headlines on the A’s site is even worse.

      • AV Aug 28,2013 3:21 pm || Up

        true, but job 1 for that day wasn’t to get his picture taken not looking funny, as presumably all these team headshots happen.

        *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
        • aardvark Aug 28,2013 6:12 pm || Up

          That’s a good point. It’s easy to find someone looking funny during the course of 162 games, but on photo day y ou hope to get it right. Which reminds me of the Chris Archer picture. He looks stoned.

  92. Glorious Mundy Aug 28,2013 11:57 am

    • FreeSeatUpgrade Aug 28,2013 12:03 pm || Up

      After that complete game performance yesterday I guess Milone needed some extra rest.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • 5Aces Aug 28,2013 12:40 pm || Up

      Does the 10 day rule still apply after 9/1, or can we still have Tommy back once rosters expand. (Dont know if I do or not, just curious..)

      Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
      • MikeV Aug 28,2013 12:46 pm || Up

        Slusser said that the 10 day rule applies still

        And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

        Thanks, and go As.

        • Glorious Mundy Aug 28,2013 1:20 pm || Up

          On twitter she says 10 days or until the River Cats season is over, which it is on Monday.

          • dmoas Aug 28,2013 2:00 pm || Up

            Weird. I was certain it was 10 days regardless.

            • Glorious Mundy Aug 28,2013 2:02 pm || Up

              It would be kind of ridiculous to make him stay with a team that isn’t playing.

              • dmoas Aug 28,2013 2:15 pm || Up

                It’d be more about not abusing the 25 man roster rules than about what team he was playing for.

                • Glorious Mundy Aug 28,2013 2:16 pm || Up

                  Sure, but he techinically wouldn’t be coming back on the 25-man roster, since the 40-man roster can play as of next week.

                • Future Ed Aug 28,2013 2:19 pm || Up

                  isn’t there a prohibition for healthy players on the 40 man to be able to play in the playoffs barring injury?

                  I have $5. No I don\'t.
                • Glorious Mundy Aug 28,2013 2:24 pm || Up

                  As far as I know anyone in the org as of August 31 can be on the playoff roster.

                • dmoas Aug 28,2013 2:25 pm || Up

                  No, they have to be on the 25 man roster by Aug 31. They can substitute a DLed player as long as they’re in the organization by Aug 31.

                • Soaker Aug 28,2013 2:57 pm || Up

                  It’s the 25-man roster plus players on the 15-day DL on 8/31, so that gives the A’s 28 spots to play around with (Jaso, Norris and Reddick). Then if anybody from that group is hurt anybody in the organization as of 8/31 can substitute for them. The reality is (!) there’s a lot of flexibility in roster construction for each postseason series.

                  What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
                • dmoas Aug 28,2013 3:01 pm || Up

                  Yup. It only seems like you can stick anyone on the roster as of August 31 because just about every team has a couple of players on the DL to give that flexibility.

                • Glorious Mundy Aug 28,2013 4:23 pm || Up

                  Aha. Thanks for the clarification, both of youse.

          • JamesV Aug 28,2013 2:05 pm || Up

            They sent him to Stockton, and they’re already eliminated while Sacramento could still make the postseason.

            • aardvark Aug 28,2013 2:53 pm || Up

              Well, you know, gotta get ready for that postseason push.

  93. Glorious Mundy Aug 28,2013 12:45 pm

    I’m going to need you to be good today, “King” Felix.

    • Glorious Mundy Aug 28,2013 1:06 pm || Up

      I don’t think he heard me.

      • Future Ed Aug 28,2013 1:07 pm || Up

        nope

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
        • Glorious Mundy Aug 28,2013 1:08 pm || Up

          He seems to dominate everyone except for Texas.

          • Future Ed Aug 28,2013 1:25 pm || Up

            the seattle broadcast pans to the kings court saying K at 2 strikes.

            there appears to be over 100 people there, but saying “k, k, k, k, k” etc is kinda sad.

            I have $5. No I don\'t.
  94. Future Ed Aug 28,2013 1:17 pm

    Today’s edition of cute and fuzzy Elvis andrus:

    Smoak fouls a pitch off, barrel og bat breaks off and flies all the way out to short. Elvis steps forward fields the bat cleanly, and underhands to kinsler at second.

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
  95. Glorious Mundy Aug 28,2013 1:26 pm

    This “Felix’s K Zone” business, and the M’s broadcast’s need to show them changing “K K K K K” every time he gets two strikes on somebody is quite annoying. Still better than the Texas broadcast though.

    • Future Ed Aug 28,2013 1:36 pm || Up

      heh

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • Future Ed Aug 28,2013 1:39 pm || Up

      my feed just crashed. I am not going to restart it

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
  96. Glorious Mundy Aug 28,2013 1:45 pm

    Hate you Felix.

    • Future Ed Aug 28,2013 1:48 pm || Up

      good lord. I just check it again.

      what the hell?

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
      • DFA Aug 28,2013 2:59 pm || Up

        ugg you weren’t kidding

        In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
  97. brian.only Aug 28,2013 3:51 pm

    Why does it feel like we’ve time warped?
    Suzuki, Barton – wtf happened in the last two weeks?

    • FreeSeatUpgrade Aug 28,2013 3:58 pm || Up

      Excellent, now the playoff push can begin for real! We missed you, as did the A’s.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • andeux Aug 28,2013 4:00 pm || Up

      The team lacked mojo for some reason.

      TINSTAAFK
    • dmoas Aug 28,2013 4:03 pm || Up

      Just wait for Pig to return.

      • brian.only Aug 28,2013 4:08 pm || Up

        As long as FU stays away I’m a happy man.

      • Kay Aug 28,2013 7:25 pm || Up

        Damn right!

        \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
    • Dial C for Concupiscence Aug 28,2013 4:06 pm || Up

      Thank god you’re back! Beane was threatening to call TLong and Chris Singleton if you didn’t return soon!

    • AV Aug 28,2013 4:42 pm || Up

      the A’s just wanted to welcome you back with a good alohahahaha.

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • brian.only Aug 28,2013 4:51 pm || Up

        Heh, Cindy’s grandma calls him pineapple boy.
        Too bad we didn’t get Victorino instead.

  98. brian.only Aug 28,2013 4:52 pm

    This plate ump is killing me.

    • Future Ed Aug 28,2013 5:54 pm || Up

      hey, he got it to a rain delay didn’t he?

      I have $5. No I don\'t.

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