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Sorry Sorry Night 48

1 Jul 2013  |  Ice Cream  |F(il)K

Sorry. I had to purge this from my brain.

Sorry Sorry Night

Sorry sorry night
Paint your pallid play-by-play
Action that you don’t convey
With eyes that know but voice that can’t reveal

Addled by your ills
Sketch the plays and miss key details
“Fair or foul?!” the listener wails
On calls delivered slowly and unplanned

I don’t understand
What you tried to say to me
And how I suffered your inanities
And how you tried to set them free
I would not listen I did not know how
Perhaps I’ll listen now.

Sorry sorry night
Furrowed brows at tired clichés
Drivel crowds insipid phrase
Reflect in Vincent’s eyes of Ranger blue

Calls’ unchanging hue
Boring blather well-ingrained
Weathered lines like “high octane”
Are smoothed beneath the ‘nouncer’s dulling brand

Now I understand
What you tried to say to me
And how A’s suffered “inconsistency”
And how you tried to make them see
They would not listen they did not know how
Perhaps they’ll listen now.

For they could not love you
Or quell your lofty view
And so bereft of your insight
On that sorry sorry night
You took your mike as others ought to do
But I could have told you, Vincent
This world was never meant for one inscrutable as you

Sorry sorry night
Poor Ken stung with partner’s pall
Nameless dread of shameless calls
From eyes that watch the game yet can’t explain

Like the strangers that are playin’
The ragged men in green ‘n gold
With silly forced nicknames (DeNo?)
Left hushed, unspoken on the radio

Now I think I know
What you tried to say to me
And how I suffered from your vanity
And how you tried to set me free
I will not listen
I’m not listening still
Perhaps I never will.

Where is the good in "good-bye"?

48 thoughts on “Sorry Sorry Night”

  1. DFA Jul 1,2013 5:51 pm

    Are you suggesting that Don Mclean has songs other than American Pie? That’s unpossible.

    In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
  2. andeux Jul 1,2013 5:59 pm

    Shut-down FilK!

    TINSTAAFK
    • Soaker Jul 1,2013 6:04 pm || Up

      OAKLAND IS THE F(il)K-ING CAPITAL OF BASEBALL!!

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Jul 1,2013 6:29 pm || Up

      Belted!

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  3. Future Ed Jul 1,2013 6:14 pm

    nice

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
  4. FreeSeatUpgrade Jul 1,2013 6:28 pm

    Wow, that’s really really good!

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  5. 5Aces Jul 1,2013 8:01 pm

    How awesome was it to take a classic song and turn it into a funny version mocking a broadcaster?

    Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
  6. doctorK Jul 1,2013 9:28 pm

    Bravo, BRAVO, FilK-Master Ice Cream.

  7. Englishmajor Jul 1,2013 10:00 pm

    You have purged it from your brain into mine. But as much as I loathe the original, the FilK makes it all worthwhile.

  8. ozzman99 Jul 1,2013 11:56 pm

    That’s pretty awesome.

    • harensheir15 Jul 2,2013 1:40 am || Up

      A belated welcome back. (BART was running well enough before you got here. Shakefist.)

      • ozzman99 Jul 2,2013 11:21 pm || Up

        I’m trying to make it more like Charleston, what with the shitty public transportation and all. And thanks!

  9. nobody in particular Jul 2,2013 12:48 am

    This may be the single greatest F(il)King in human history. I am outclassed & humbled by the skills on display here.

    As for Vincent, I love love love him as a person and he’s never been anything but super to me in real life, but the reality of it is his play by play makes me think I could do it better. On Quaaludes. In handcuffs and blindfolded.

    Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
  10. harensheir15 Jul 2,2013 1:34 am

    Great stuff! Way to go, Ice cream.

  11. PDXAthleticsfan Jul 2,2013 9:20 am

    Brilliant!

    A soliloquy of fresh-sounding ideas which would probably be disastrous.
  12. oblique Jul 2,2013 9:22 am

    FilKing awesome!!

  13. WaddellCanseco Jul 2,2013 11:12 am

    Poor Vincent….although I do switch to the opposing team’s broadcasters when he’s speaking. In other news the Cubs have traded tonight’s announced starter, Scott Feldman to the Orioles with Steve Clevenger for Jake Arrieta and Pedro Strop. Seems like a good deal for the Cubs, but I’m not sure who’s starting tonight.

    • WaddellCanseco Jul 2,2013 11:20 am || Up

      Oops even better than I thought. Cubs also get international bonus pool money. Apparently the starter will be someone named Chris Rusin, who seems to be their version of Graham Godfrey, and is now sure to throw a no-hitter.

    • andeux Jul 2,2013 1:14 pm || Up

      Didn’t they basically trade a good pitcher for two shitty ones?

      TINSTAAFK
      • WaddellCanseco Jul 2,2013 2:06 pm || Up

        I actually like Arrieta for whatever reason, and they also got like $400K in International Pool Money possibly for Jimenez. Plus Feldman is a FA after this year so he’s basically worthless to them. I assume they auctioned him off for the best deal available.

        • Future Ed Jul 2,2013 2:29 pm || Up

          $400,000 is worth more than $400,000, yes?

          I have $5. No I don\'t.
          • WaddellCanseco Jul 2,2013 2:29 pm || Up

            Yes, because they can spend it in the international bonus pool, unlike regular dollars.

            • Future Ed Jul 2,2013 2:30 pm || Up

              what are the penalties for over spending?

              I have $5. No I don\'t.
              • DFA Jul 2,2013 3:33 pm || Up

                depends on if the MLBPA agrees on a draft

                In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
                • dmoas Jul 3,2013 9:31 am || Up

                  Didn’t MLB already nix the possibility of an international draft next season?

                • DFA Jul 8,2013 10:28 am || Up

                  I believe so

                  In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
        • DFA Jul 2,2013 3:34 pm || Up

          Great stuff, shitty results and its not like feldman was in their long term plans.

          In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
  14. JediLeroy Jul 2,2013 12:52 pm

    F(il)K HOF First Ballot

    az di bobe volt gehat beytsim volt zi geven mayn zeyde
    • doctorK Jul 2,2013 1:12 pm || Up

      Should be unanimous, but at lest one voter will be protesting against the FilKing steroid era, and at least two others (who are somewhat advanced in years) will forget this is on the ballot.

      • Glorious Mundy Jul 2,2013 1:22 pm || Up

        I’m leaving this F(il)K off my ballot because it was rude to me once in the locker room.

      • Soaker Jul 2,2013 1:28 pm || Up

        This F(il)k is definitely HOF-worthy but only Babe Ruth was ever deserving of being elected to the HOF of anything on the first ballot, so I’m leaving this one off this year. I’ll take a look again next year.

        What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
        • Ice Cream Jul 2,2013 2:35 pm || Up

          Ha! My F(il)K is ineligible! Or are you forgetting that I was drummed out of professional F(il)King after betting heavy sums for and against my own F(il)Ks?

          Where is the good in "good-bye"?
          • Future Ed Jul 2,2013 2:41 pm || Up

            Its a lifetime ban. You’ll get in after you melt.

            I have $5. No I don\'t.
            • nevermoor Jul 2,2013 3:05 pm || Up

              It HAS been warm recently…

              "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
  15. the dogfather Jul 3,2013 10:32 am

    Wow — just WOW! That is just about FilKing per-fect. Way to go I-Cree!!

    The meaning of life is not so much found, as it is Made. -- Opus
  16. Poppy Jul 3,2013 9:47 pm

    LOVE this! :)

    There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
  17. ptbnl Jul 3,2013 10:28 pm

    And that baby is FilKed.

    If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Jul 4,2013 8:29 am || Up

      And it’s 20 consecutive FilKtories for the Oakland FilKletics, on an unbeFilKable night…Holy ToFilKo!

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • ptbnl Jul 4,2013 9:37 am || Up

        Parenthetically, has anyone else noticed (and been bugged by) the change in the emphasis in Vince’s call in multi-homer games, from

        And that baby is gone

        to

        And that baby is gone

        which for me changes the “baby” from colloquial to literal.

        If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
        • Glorious Mundy Jul 4,2013 9:40 am || Up

          Do you mean Kuiper? Vince usually says “That one will go.”

          • ptbnl Jul 4,2013 10:15 am || Up

            D’oh! Of course I do.

            If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
            • beebo Jul 4,2013 12:32 pm || Up

              Partner in Crime laughs really hard whenever he says that. I am not sure why.

              • oblique Jul 4,2013 12:41 pm || Up

                In my college a cappella group (though, this was before my time), they sang “Crazy Little Thing Called Love,” and the lead singer would, as he sang the lyrics, “There goes my baby,” toss a doll baby into the crowd.

        • oblique Jul 4,2013 11:19 am || Up

          I’ve never been able to accept “baby” as colloquial for a baseball anyway.

          • Soaker Jul 4,2013 11:34 am || Up

            If you’re a fan of Giants Baseball, sing “Bye, Bye, Baby!”…

            I listened to Russ and Lon some very early on in my baseball fandom (though I was an A’s fan from the start), so I guess I don’t mind it.

            What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
        • DFA Jul 8,2013 10:30 am || Up

          I hate it.

          Ive been thinking about “Buy that ball a ticket because its in the seats” I think that would be a cool call.

          In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor

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