- Christ, what an A’s hold-up:
Matt Carson does not have the ball from his first big-league home run – the fan who caught it Monday refused to give it up unless he was paid for it
- Christ, what a plasma bolus:
Pitchers Vin Mazzaro and Jay Marshall received platelet-rich plasma injections for shoulder tendinitis
- Ladies and gents, may I present Beane’s next regular offseason washed-up veteran RH power hitter signing
- The ** FPW methodology:
These were mostly well-meaning people who rose to the very top because they were likable, not supremely qualified
- Aside from the times it doesn’t work perfectly, it works perfectly! ([a] This really needs to factor in “mentions of the candidate on BbTn and prominent espn blogs,” as well as “playing for or having late-season wins against the Red Sox or Yankees.” [b] Anyone else see a similar pattern of Borg-assimilation in Neyer and Young Ezra?)
- Unconscious ironies abound
- More Franken awesomeness
Pretty explicit language: DLD 092309 134
134 thoughts on “Pretty explicit language: DLD 092309”
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Have I mentioned how much I hate this twat? He really is Barton Fink.
Wow
The clickable images are unreal. It looks like LA or something.
Evere seen pix of Pittsburgh in the ’40s and ’50s?
Nope. Nor, for that matter, of Industrial Revolution London “fog”
More turning-orange-ness
Can I have $1500?
1. I would give the guy his ball, but I don’t get outraged when someone else doesn’t.
3. I hope not. D(y)ust is a terrible RF option.
4. Objection, assumes likability not in evidence.
7. This is surreal.
3. I agree — but I think it’s pretty darn likely.
very very unlikely.
Why?
It makes no sense. He’s a horrible Ofer; he won’t be any better of a hitter than Cust (probably worse), so there is no point. Thome would make a lot more sense if they want a DH, but I doubt they’ll sign a DH.
I am glad that argument kept Beane from acquiring Giambi II, Big Hurt II, Piazza, Karros, and Nomar.
All of those moves made a lot more sense than this would.
That’s not true.
No move makes less sense than the Giambi one.
I don’t think that’s true, since they signed Nomar after signing Giambi — which, I agree, didn’t make sense.
Nomar and Piazza did.
I would say Piazza is the worst of those moves.
Why?
He was ok before the freak 3b collision injury…
Nomar was a low risk flier. Giambi we actually paid money for.
Piazza hit .282/.339/.379 (below replacement level for a DH) before his injury.
Just going by what was known at the time of the signings, and comparing Piazza to Giambi: they were the same age, had equally little defensive value (none), Piazza had not hit as well in the previous year (or the one before that, or the one before that), and Piazza had never played in the AL. And Piazza was paid nearly twice as much. I don’t see any argument against Giambi that would not apply equally or more so to Piazza.
The Nomar signing was stupid because it didn’t rate to improve the team at all, and made a roster spot unavailable to the younger players (specifically Barton/Buck), which retroactively made the Giambi signing worse.
I’ll stand corrected on Piazza. I didn’t remember it being that bad.
I also don’t think the Nomar move was smart, just less of a cost for equal crap.
Once they signed Giambi, I am much happier that they put Barton in AAA, which saved a year of service time and let him actually play. Having him as a reserve would have been very stupid.
1. I would ask for/demand a bat.
I would want a jersey, but I seem to remember from a controversy about some milestone HR a couple of years ago that it’s the A’s policy not to give those out. Generally speaking I agree with nm on this: it seems kind of stupid not to accept the team’s best offer – it’s not like anyone else is ever likely to offer you more for Matt Carson’s first HR ball – but the team ends up not looking very good when it uses the press to beat up on some fan for being greedy.
I disagree. They didn’t name him, just expressed regret at the greedy little cocksucker’s avarice. By so doing, and given the (nearly unanimous) response (except hereabouts, where we over-think), I believe it’s slightly more likely the next lucky fan will give it up.
I also think nm has to train himself to feel that way, at least between the hours of 6AM and 11PM, lest he not represent his megafirm clientele with whole-hearted professional zeal. ;-)
I think the fan comes off better than people who get ludicrously up in arms about it. And to the extent that he asked for $10,000, he comes off more as “comically stupid” than hackles-raisingly greedy.
Sorry — I fear that if I spend very long trying to comprehend that distinction in any meaningful way, my head will asplode. Pass.
Regardless of how the fan looks, the organization comes off as chintzy and petty for playing this out in the press. At least to people who don’t under-think.
It’s alllllllll part of the plan to alienate the current fanbase out of existence/caring.
Fortunately, we are numerous.
Does any other team do this? The A’s seem unable to get enough…
The only attributed quotes in that blurb are from Carson, BTW.
You forget. We don’t represent the little guy; we crush him.
/Drago
I said that your friend died screaming like a stuck Irish pig
< / Drago >
…but I don’t get outraged when someone else doesn’t.
My obscure attempt at humor was to the effect that if you did allow yourself to ponder overmuch on greed and/or cosmic stupidity, it might become difficult to toil on their behalf during those last few pre-dawn hours.
It might be worth more as Matt Carson’s first, last, and only HR ball.
4.
He (who-need-not-be-named) did way too much damage, in my view, to be considered cartoonish.
Another Free Kraut free ticket giveaway!
This time you don’t have to find the right piece of BART lot garbage to rummage through. You just have to find me, in pretty much the exact same spot, though I’ll probably be covered by slightly less garbage. I’ll be there between roughly 5:30 and 6:30. Stop by if interested in saving yourself the two whole dollars it’d cost you to buy a comparable ticket at the box office.
Absolutely unforgivable.
Seriously. Break out some madden or something.
GTA
Peggle
All logged on to ** and commenting during a game thread
2. I don’t understand why people find steroids more objectionable than stuff like this.
4. I don’t understand why people are fascinated by this stupid Matt Latimer book.
5b. No.
Needs moar clown:
There isn’t.
I say we appoint a czar czar.
“He’s clearly just ticking through a checklist of wingnut buzzwords, things that he believes will have some special meaning to his intended audience of Glenn Beck watching GOP primary voters.”
Hope! Change!
No future
A link for all you fuckers to relate to.
So there.
Who?
Stop being so ironically hip!
I don’t understand that post, that blog, or the point you are making.
Does that mean I’m too ironically hip, or not ironically hip enough?
That is an odd concept for a blog.
On-topic weather note: I was riding around in the hills, and there was a giant, ugly, smog cloud covering the entire south bay that ended right around the border to Oakland.
Newest uber-cheap music-library (re-)acquisition (treating self while buying baby crap). Man, what a great band.
For some reason, it reminds me of you all.
I should not be allowed to own an RPG
College is no different than high school I
Seriously? A basketball team is picking fights with a football team? I don’t care that they’re better… that’s like 12 on 50.
To be fair, my buddies and I did occasionally throw down with the electrical engineers.
My marching band would fight with the drama club if need be. And we had to be seperated several times from an opposing band.
When I was in high school, I thought “College will be different. No more high school pettiness.”
When I was in college, I thought “The working world will be different. No more college pettiness.”
Now I think “The RV parks will be different. No more corporate pettiness.”
N+1: “Moldering in the ground/Heaven will be different”
N+2: “Staggering around very slowly and eating the brains of the non-zombies will be different”
N+3: “After the Rapture will be different”
Mrs Monkeyball last night, after quickly glancing at the tv during the top half of an early inning: “Cool! The A’s signed Viggo! Do they call him ‘Slider’?”
And another nickname was born …
Isn’t Eldnik Nozama the name of that crazy “historian” that Glenn Beck reads?
1. Some combo of shyness and false modesty kept me from posting this here immediately after I wrote it, but here is some love for FK.
2. What (else) I like about you (FK-niks) are the links to DFW. The latest one (from a few days ago) sent me to this 2001 essay about SWE usage issues, dictionaries, and usage guides. I wonder what he would say about dictionary.com?
3. You don’t need to be my facebook friend to know I like pseudonyms, so of course I thought it was cool when my latest gang of editors gave me a new one by accident.
1. Andrew Sullivan owes me money
3. Bittmer much?
1. Wasn’t he George Michael’s original singing partner?
2. Gesundheit.
Maybe you’re slowly morphing into Mark Bittman. Or Steve Bitker.
Bark Mittman!
Hey, Steve Bitker is married to County Supervisor Alice Lai-Bitker (whose license plate frame reads “You are following County Supervisor Alice Lai-Bitker.”) High-powered sports and media couple…you could do worse, Bark Mittman.
I would like to subscribe to your newsletter, The Alameda County Politico Tailgater
3. Why haven’t they fixed that?
TWSS
*Edit note: “This story has been edited to correct the Author’s name. We’re a bunch jackasses and incorrectly bylined him.”
Sorry, he’s taken.
Signed,
Mrs. Monkeyball
But … do they have kraut? (And is it free?)
Is a “Thuringian bratwurst” a Germanic sex act?
Ain’t that tha troof:
{snerk}
“P. Strop”
Niedermeyer … dead. Public option … dead.
If that’s what it takes at this stage, that’s what it takes.
I don’t think the linked article says what you think it says. Either that, or you are turning into Rupert Murdoch.
Oh, come on — this is a clear “It’d be a shame if something were to … happen to Mr. P. Option” {shrug of Brioni-clad shoulders}
You are overreading a comment that contains no news. This wasn’t anything other than a statement of the facts. We’ve known for awhile that nothing called a “public option” was going to clear the Senate. We don’t yet know what will happen in reconciliation. Which is exactly what he said.
Every time Rahm says anything to the press about the bill, the blogosphere goes apeshit with premature tea leaf reading. Not every word he utters is calculated to pave the way for some diabolical, eight steps ahead endgame.
I agree with your final sentence: not every Man-Ra
hm/A-Rod/Bor-as end game is diabolical.Fixed, for TWHS-ness
And fixed again.
As opposed to a Boras/A-rod man-ram endgame
TWSS
only if you don’t use the right lubricant.
If they decide within the next two weeks to not tamper in any way with Flexible Spending Accounts, my current story is fucked.
More evidence of the nefarious effects of (a)corn.
Grover on the A’s recent drafts?
Froot Loops = Wallace?
I think he’s the breakfast donut. (And another nickname is born!)
… and Smoak (II) is the bowl of oatmeal with wheat germ, fresh fruit, and soy milk.
Smoaked wheat germ?
1. Stop rushing around. Take a minute to stop your overly busy life and make a rational f#$&ing decision.
2. These could really be anything:
A: Getting along with your boss after a rift
B: Murder
C: Confronting the issues
D: Telling your boss he’s a pompous jackass
1. David Broder sez: FUCK IT! BUY THE FROOT LOOPS!
Man, last time I “evoked a hypothetical parent in the supermarket,” they confiscated my Ralph’s Club card.
And another entry in the euphemism directory:
“getting your Ralph’s Club card confiscated”
See Cal. Pen. Code 290
“linking to the Penal Code”
“putting an entry in the euphemism directory”
Christ, what a colon
ILFOTM
fixed
In college, I played bodhrán for the Metal Detectorists.
“(It is) absolutely the equivalent of finding a new Lindisfarne Gospels or Book of Kells.”
Wrong.
Also, I’m 97.21% sure you were a drummer for the Clods of Earth.
ICIPxFyOTM
Oh, to be in England.
Fancy language for eminent domain is all
They’re showing game 19 of the streak right now. Zito just gave up back to back HRs to Neifi Perez and AJ Hinch…
MJ wished he could be part of a Hitler man-ram endgame:
If our politicians had any spine, one of them would have sent him down to Argentina, he would have returned with an apology, and we could all have finally put that nasty episode behind us.
There’s always tomorrow:
An Allan Folsom reference. Never thought I’d see one of those.
FK – bringing the obscure references since 1997
(___)
so we have about six years before we can market our single serving FreeKraut brand Kraut?
So does anyone else laugh like a little school girl when the Cubs hit a two run homerun in the top of the ninth versus the pumpkins across the bay?
I laughed like an old lady at the opera holding those glasses-on-sticks.
I laughed like a fat man at an all-you-can-eat rib place.
2002-Beltran looks exactly the same as Carlos G. at the plate. Same size, same swing.
Twist. Knife. My back.
I am hopping mad about the recent lack of Science Thursdays.
Once again, I’ll be forced to brave the weekend cocktail party circuit without any science-y tidbits in my small talk arsenal. Lefty polemics and Betty Draper dream sequence hypotheses tend not to set hearts aflutter (“Who do you think bailed out these Wall Street fat cats? The goddamn CIA, that’s who! Maybe you don’t care, but we’re torturing uninsured lesbian illegal immigrants at coal burning black sites in Yemen, it’s all off the fucking books, and your self-satisfied flag waving suburban latte conscience is at stake, asshole! … Medgar Evers. It was Medgar Evers, and her dad was huge, like a comic book villain, because he loomed large, see, even though he’s dead, and she was plastic perfect like a Barbie doll, but it wasn’t real, okay? It wasn’t real.”), but when I’m able to mix in some shape memory polymer talk, it’s a totally different story. I sound positively da Vincian. Suave. Sophisticated. A man of many disciplines.
Whatever. I guess that’s all in the past. It’s back to numbing chit chat (where I work, what I do with my time, do I know so and so, Paula’s Ellen impersonation was so fantastic, don’t you think?, etc.) and red faced rants (see above). Or the slightly less nauseating alternative: stay home, eat Totinos, read Harper’s, fire off unhinged letters to various congressmen.
Thanks Sal. Thanks a lot.
You’re welcome.
I actually had a pretty cool idea for a Mad Scientist Thursday, but I the youtube videos were pretty graphic and depicted acts that were unkind to dogs. Given TDF, I decided to restrain.
Why thanks, sal. Not showing them is good; not doing them is even better.
Besides, I have read enough of mk’s stuff to suspect he doesn’t really need the help facilitating his weekend’s assignations.
Christ, what an assignation