The Lounge where I will wait for you. ← FREE KRAUT!

The Lounge where I will wait for you. 507

Hello there…here’s a new lounge for us to solve all the world’s problems such as global warming, the latest fiscal crisis in Washington and Dennis Rodman’s invasion of North Korea. Lounge away if you wish.

507 thoughts on “The Lounge where I will wait for you.

  1. Bed Feb 28,2013 5:38 pm

    I hope everyone is doing well this fine evening.

    But seriously, folks....
  2. Bed Feb 28,2013 5:40 pm

    Does the world really need for Jim Rome to have two TV shows and a radio show? The guy has had the same schtick since 1997.

    But seriously, folks....
  3. Bed Feb 28,2013 5:42 pm

    I’ve always wondered, why is this site called Free Kraut? Is it because you can get free kraut on your dog at the Coliseum? Or does it have something to do with West Germany?

    But seriously, folks....
    • andeux Feb 28,2013 6:29 pm || Up

      It was a complaint/rallying cry/running gag of the founder-in-exile back at the old country after the commodity in question disappeared from many (all except the Saags ones) of the Coli concession stands.

      TINSTAAFK
      • Bed Feb 28,2013 6:30 pm || Up

        Okay, thanks for the answer. That was before my time and I was always curious about it.

        But seriously, folks....
      • Future Ed Feb 28,2013 7:03 pm || Up

        you can get it in the area that they give you your family 4 pack hotdog

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
        • Dial C for Concupiscence Mar 1,2013 9:53 am || Up

          Really? Where is that? I only see it by the Saag’s stand.

          • Future Ed Mar 1,2013 10:19 am || Up

            above the 200 level around when the bart bridge entrance is

            I have $5. No I don\'t.
      • nevermoor Feb 28,2013 10:07 pm || Up

        Founder-emeritus more like. He is very much not exiled.

        "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
        • FreeSeatUpgrade Feb 28,2013 10:10 pm || Up

          Expatriot.

          "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
        • andeux Feb 28,2013 10:15 pm || Up

          Self-exiled.

          TINSTAAFK
    • ptbnl Feb 28,2013 8:46 pm || Up

      Back then green star oakland was a lazy typist’s hat-tip to Red Star Belgrade, and hence the avatar.

      Over here the opportunity to change name presented itself and I jumped; ptbnl to go with the named jersey I knew I wanted (and now have).

      If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
  4. Bed Feb 28,2013 5:44 pm

    Also and question I’ve had for many of you for a long time…how did you come up with your screen name and avatar picture?

    But seriously, folks....
    • Jennifer Feb 28,2013 5:57 pm || Up

      Well, my parents came up with my screen name.

    • FreeSeatUpgrade Feb 28,2013 6:18 pm || Up

      When I started posting over at the old place I wanted to carve out an identity as the slick cheapskate who knows how to extract hidden value at the Coliseum. The avatar is a picture I took of my Stomper doll with a wrench in his hand for the second episode of Peanutball, where he infiltrated PacBell park and sabotaged Barry Bonds’ Barcalounger.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • Bed Feb 28,2013 6:19 pm || Up

        A clear and concise answer. An A for FSU.

        But seriously, folks....
    • Future Ed Feb 28,2013 7:05 pm || Up

      my parents gave me my avatar.

      My screen name is an ode to former sponsor “FUTURE FORD OF CONCORD”

      which I always thought was a ridiculous name.

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
      • Bed Feb 28,2013 7:07 pm || Up

        Well, the avatar picture is perfect so your parents did a good job.

        But seriously, folks....
      • JediLeroy Mar 22,2013 2:49 pm || Up

        They are one of my clients.

        az di bobe volt gehat beytsim volt zi geven mayn zeyde
    • Leopold Bloom Feb 28,2013 7:09 pm || Up

      I’m an outsider in a place where I should feel at home, a Jew in Ireland.

      Oh. And I like Snoopy.

      • Bed Feb 28,2013 7:10 pm || Up

        Well, you aren’t an outsider to me and this place just isn’t the same without you.

        But seriously, folks....
        • Leopold Bloom Feb 28,2013 7:12 pm || Up

          They’re transferring me to the methadone clinic.

          I guess I need to accept the fact that I’m a malcontent and eventually management at where ever I’m at will ship me off.

          • Bed Feb 28,2013 7:15 pm || Up

            Some of us are just meant to go against the tide. It takes all types to make the world an interesting place.

            But seriously, folks....
          • DFA Feb 28,2013 7:25 pm || Up

            dude youre like 20 years behind me in figuring that out.

            PS do you have a union?

            In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
      • FreeSeatUpgrade Feb 28,2013 7:10 pm || Up

        Bloom! I’m so happy to see you I won’t point out that Snoopy isn’t your avatar.

        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
        • Leopold Bloom Feb 28,2013 7:11 pm || Up

          Snoopy-related. And you did. Asshole.

          • DFA Feb 28,2013 7:25 pm || Up

            my brother has a snoopy tattoo trufax

            In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
      • harensheir15 Mar 4,2013 1:02 am || Up

        Happy Birthday, polar bear.

    • 5Aces Feb 28,2013 7:31 pm || Up

      My avatar is the reason I have my screen name. And it serves to remind me to enjoy the success; it can go quickly.

      Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
      • Bed Feb 28,2013 7:33 pm || Up

        I say the same thing about hair.

        But seriously, folks....
    • ozzman99 Feb 28,2013 8:20 pm || Up

      I used the same name I used to create my hotmail account. I like Ozzy; I’m technically a man; and ozzman, ozzman1, and ozzman666 were already taken on hotmail.

      • Bed Feb 28,2013 8:24 pm || Up

        That all seems plausible…well, outside of the part about you technically being a man.

        But seriously, folks....
        • ozzman99 Feb 28,2013 8:47 pm || Up

          Ok, I lied about that part.

          • Bed Feb 28,2013 8:48 pm || Up

            At least you’re man enough to admit it…hmm…okay, now I’m confused.

            But seriously, folks....
      • FreeSeatUpgrade Feb 28,2013 8:33 pm || Up

        Crazy Train should be the national anthem.

        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • colin Feb 28,2013 9:37 pm || Up

      My screen name is my name. My avatar is a dolphin catching a frisbee. That’s because my nickname from playing ultimate frisbee was “flipper” and then I was amused to find that google images has many pictures of dolphins playing with frisbees.

    • Englishmajor Feb 28,2013 9:49 pm || Up

      When I signed up at AN I’d never been part of a participatory online community, so I wasn’t really expecting that anyone else would ever see my username, I thought I would just need it to log in and read new comments. So I was thinking of it more as the answer to a security question, the question being “What is unusual, for an athlete, about Scott Hatteberg’s college career?”
      My original AN avatar was a drawing by the Japanese artist Yoshitomo Nara that was similar to the cover art he did for a Shonen Knife album. I couldn’t find the pink girl with a guitar when I came here, so I chose a different Nara girl instead.

      • Bed Feb 28,2013 9:53 pm || Up

        That’s an interesting answer. I went with sirbed because B-E-D are my initials and I added the sir part because I have an ego the size of Texas. In hindsight I should have just stuck with my original AN name, Paul Thomas.

        But seriously, folks....
    • nevermoor Feb 28,2013 10:24 pm || Up

      I picked my screenname when signing up for whatever the first thing was I needed to sign up for. Probably hotmail, yahoo, or whatever the cool kids used pre-gmail. I knew I didn’t want numbers, so I tried a bunch of stuff until I got something. Turns out, it is nearly always available, so I use it.

      The name occurred to me because it’s the name of a town in this game: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magic:_The_Gathering_(MicroProse)

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • DFA Feb 28,2013 11:42 pm || Up

      I like transactions. Designatedforasignment was available at the OC. I shortened it when I came here. When I was looking for Images to be the masthead when I was helping nm with the css and looking for the site banner I found the kraut serving station image but it didn’t fit width wise.

      In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
    • PDXAthleticsfan Mar 1,2013 8:30 am || Up

      When I first signed up at the OC, my location was relatively rare for a user. I now see a number of A’s hats around, although far outnumbered by Gnats hats in the last 7 months. Assuming there is no repeat, I’m sure it will go back to normal this season.

      As far as I know, my location is unique hereabouts and I tried to change when I first migrated over here, but people kept referring to me as PDX, so PDX it is.

      As far as my avatar, I just added it, because Miyazaki is awesome and Spirited Away was my first Miyazaki film that played a significant role in Mrs. PDX’s and my budding relationship nearly eleven years ago.

      A soliloquy of fresh-sounding ideas which would probably be disastrous.
    • doctorK Mar 1,2013 9:39 am || Up

      When I first starting working, people called me “Doctor Karl”. My avatar should be pretty self-explanatory.

    • oblique Mar 1,2013 11:17 am || Up

      I was originally just my initials, mkt. When the newer version of the OC happened, I changed to oblique because a lot of players were having oblique injuries at that point, and I felt “oblique” also described my sense of humor, which I have since lost. The original intent was to spell it “O’Bleak” to add a third dimension to the pun, but then I decided it would dilute, rather than enhance, the experience of my username.

      My avatar is a cool plane, because I fly planes for fun (but definitely not profit).

      • FreeSeatUpgrade Mar 1,2013 11:31 am || Up

        There was a stretch of time over at the old place, probably a year or more, where I’d constantly confuse mkt and mdl in my mind. Then around the same time you became oblique, he became iglew, solving my problem.

        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
        • nevermoor Mar 1,2013 5:46 pm || Up

          And then one became cool, further resolving things

          "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
          • FreeSeatUpgrade Mar 1,2013 6:07 pm || Up

            I always thought they were both cool; that’s what made telling them apart tough.

            "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
            • PDXAthleticsfan Mar 1,2013 8:11 pm || Up

              I always liked iglew, right up until the 2nd exodus; he was the first poster I connected with on a more personal level. He said some pretty dumb things in the end, but I don’t hold it against him. Paris7, on the other hand…

              A soliloquy of fresh-sounding ideas which would probably be disastrous.
            • oblique Mar 2,2013 7:53 am || Up

              Without turning this into an OC thread, I had some very good interactions with him as well, before some point that I can’t really identify without thinking about it more than I want to.

              • DFA Mar 2,2013 7:57 am || Up

                Iglew, whom I actually met in person was along with bloom and pt my inner circle HOF poster over at ** until he decided to be a pedantic jack ass about the whole, were losing quality people because management is comprised of a fucking asshole thing.

                In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
                • harensheir15 Mar 2,2013 2:30 pm || Up

                  When I first infiltrated the lounge back then, Bloomie was convinced I was iglew.
                  True story.

                • DFA Mar 2,2013 2:46 pm || Up

                  Interesting. I don’t see much similarity

                  In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
                • harensheir15 Mar 2,2013 2:59 pm || Up

                  Somewhat overlapping sense of humor, maybe. But I didn’t either.

          • oblique Mar 2,2013 7:53 am || Up

            Just because we have the same tastes in politics and cars…

    • Dial C for Concupiscence Mar 1,2013 11:40 am || Up

      My sn is a reference to a movie title in Infinite Jest, which I like a lot. My avatar is from a strip where Calvin was a dinosaur for halloween. I like Calvin & Hobbes and dinosaurs a lot.

      • DFA Mar 1,2013 7:45 pm || Up

        I failed at the boom of the system. should I try for infinite jest?

        In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
        • FreeSeatUpgrade Mar 1,2013 8:14 pm || Up

          I failed once at Infinite Jest before succeeding on my second try.

          "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
          • DFA Mar 2,2013 7:57 am || Up

            was it worth it?

            In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
            • FreeSeatUpgrade Mar 2,2013 8:01 am || Up

              Yes. Great book.

              "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
            • harensheir15 Mar 2,2013 1:54 pm || Up

              Do you enjoy footnotes?

              • DFA Mar 2,2013 2:46 pm || Up

                Usually?

                In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
                • harensheir15 Mar 2,2013 2:58 pm || Up

                  He uses a lot of them. Wikipedia says 388.
                  Some find that it fractures the narrative. If you don’t feel that way, you’d probably like it.

                • Dial C for Concupiscence Mar 2,2013 9:18 pm || Up

                  They’re very good footnotes for the most part

            • Dial C for Concupiscence Mar 2,2013 9:20 pm || Up

              It’s my favorite book, but it is an undertaking. It doesn’t feel like a slog to get through; there’s just so much of it.

    • beebo Mar 1,2013 11:57 am || Up

      My username is from a 50s pulp series.

      As for the pug in sunglasses avatar picture: well, on the internet, no one knows you’re a dog.

      • PDXAthleticsfan Mar 1,2013 12:57 pm || Up

        Huh. I always figured it was from the Sandra Boynton book.

        A soliloquy of fresh-sounding ideas which would probably be disastrous.
        • beebo Mar 2,2013 10:28 am || Up

          Heh. I take it your kids introduced you to that one?

          • PDXAthleticsfan Mar 5,2013 9:36 am || Up

            We must have gotten it as a present for Spawn1 during his first year. There are plenty of parents around who say “beebo” to their kids to refer to a belly button.

            Sandra Boynton books rock in their utter (udder) silliness. We probably have ten of them at this point.

            A soliloquy of fresh-sounding ideas which would probably be disastrous.
    • nobody in particular Mar 1,2013 6:02 pm || Up

      When I first moved to SF, this pattern started happening where I would go into a restaurant and order food and they would refuse to let me pay for it… don’t ask me why but I was out with friends several times and the bill would come or we’d get food to go and it’d be on the house. It was totally bizarre after a while and no one could figure it out.

      So these friends started to assert that I was the reincarnation of the notable 19th Century San Francisco weirdo and character Emperor Joshua Norton II and even produced pictures of him they claimed looked like me as proof of this astral lineage. I was a little uncomfortable with the idea of Imperial association, and about this time (1994/5) I had begun to get interested in Italian Westerns and was really into this film “My Name Is Nobody” starring Terence Hill and Henry Fonda in which TH plays Nobody, this sort of cartoon gunslinger that is faster on the draw than anyone ever to live. So because of the similarity to the Norton name and also the fact that I wanted to neutralize the Emperor part with something that would take the piss out of the aristocratic aspect of Emperor-hood, I tacked on the Nobody to the Emperor and started using that as a screen name as the web started to take hold in the mid-1990s. Fast forward to the second exodus from the OC, precipitated by the vile mistreatment of MikeV, and the opportunity arising to graduate from Imperial status, whereupon I dropped the Emperor part and just became the less imperious “Nobody in Particular” for this site.

      Of course, a lot of people still call me EN or Emperor — despite my telling him I wish he’d just call me Josh, Ken K. for example ALWAYS insists on calling me by that name — and that’s fine, but that’s where the name(s) come from in answer to Bed’s question.

      Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
      • nobody in particular Mar 1,2013 6:07 pm || Up

        PS– The avatar pic I use here is nothing that unusual, it’s a very famous album cover.

        Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
      • FreeSeatUpgrade Mar 1,2013 6:16 pm || Up

        Awesome tale. I’ve always loved the Emperor Norton legend, and found your old nom de plume perfect.

        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
        • nobody in particular Mar 1,2013 6:26 pm || Up

          I still use it elsewhere and a lot of people still call me by that, so I guess after almost 20 years it isn’t gonna die or just go away. Honestly I changed it for here because I always felt that over on ** there was resentment or people who didn’t like it or me due to the “who does he think he is?” aspect of being called Emperor, and when we all came over here I wanted to choose a name that had continuity to that one, but sounded more suited to the non-hierachical, no-bosses flavor of FK.

          Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
          • DFA Mar 2,2013 7:41 am || Up

            I mean Emperor Nobody is a nice contradiction. I always enjoyed the name and thought that it suited you quite well.

            NIP works because well all know EN but imho its not as fitting as the original

            In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
        • nevermoor Mar 1,2013 6:29 pm || Up

          Indeed, Norton is the SF-iest SF story of all time.

          "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
      • Glorious Mundy Mar 1,2013 6:23 pm || Up

        In case it ever becomes an issue, I’ll just put on the record that Ken Korach can call me whatever he likes.

      • Kay Mar 1,2013 6:26 pm || Up

        You should tell Mr. Lee this story if you haven’t already.

        \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
        • nobody in particular Mar 1,2013 6:37 pm || Up

          Yeah, I should, he’d relate to it because he HATED the Spaceman name until years went by and he realized he could make money off it!

          Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
      • oblique Mar 2,2013 7:56 am || Up

        That is a great story!

    • YonYonson Mar 1,2013 8:48 pm || Up

      I was reading Slaughterhouse 5 when I registerred for the account here.

      "Ain't no man can avoid being born average, but there ain't no man got to be common." — Satchel Paige
      • YonYonson Mar 1,2013 8:52 pm || Up

        And the picture is of Brett Anderson, making it rain Oklahoma style. I just like the picture.

        "Ain't no man can avoid being born average, but there ain't no man got to be common." — Satchel Paige
    • harensheir15 Mar 2,2013 3:19 am || Up

      An intertwined fondness for Dan Haren and the letter H resulted in the screen name. And what’s better than home whites for a day game.

      • DFA Mar 2,2013 7:58 am || Up

        this sn is brought to you by the letter H

        In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
        • harensheir15 Mar 2,2013 2:23 pm || Up

          You bet. Consider the classic, post-and-lintel structure. It is one of three letters, along with I and O, that is symmetric about the two perpendicular axis that intersect at its centroid. Tell me that doesn’t say something about Ohio’s importance every four years. In chemistry, it denotes the first element, Hydrogen. The pronunciation is essentially just a sharp exhalation of breath. This makes me think it’s probably one of the first sounds the early Homo-sapiens made. Of all the sounds we make with our mouths, it’s the only one that doesn’t use the tongue, leaving it free…for other things. More to the point of your comment, there is also this.

          • Future Ed Mar 2,2013 2:58 pm || Up

            hay un problema con su teoría

            I have $5. No I don\'t.
          • DFA Mar 2,2013 3:25 pm || Up

            that clip is hilarious

            In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
    • Kay Mar 2,2013 11:00 am || Up

      K56= me and Jim Bouton’s number
      SPWC= Sacramento Professional Wiffleball Circuit
      Gaijin_Suketto= imported American talent on a Japanese team (foreign helper)
      Kay= me

      Avatar= Jan Miner, Palmolive spokesactress (“You’re Soaking In It.”)
      Former Avatar= a picture of my legs in stockings and heels

      \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
    • JediLeroy Mar 22,2013 2:57 pm || Up

      Mine is a clever nod to JT Leroy, and.. no, actually, that’s a lie.

      My first AOL screen name was Leroy10264 (or some random string of numbers), based off the picture of an afro-wearing badass that I liked to draw in MSPaint in the 90s. My friend changed his screen name from loco(stringofnumbers) to JediLoco, and invited me to join the force and become a Jedi. I changed my screen name to JediLeroy, and the name has stuck.

      My avatar changes infrequently. I used to have a picture of Zebulon, the toy Rich Harden bought when the A’s went to Japan. My current avatar is of Martin Clunes as Doc Martin, a BBC dramedy about a brilliant, but socially inept and prickly surgeon. While not brilliant or socially inept, I sometimes feel like the prickly guy who only comes out to say anything when I disagree with everybody.

      az di bobe volt gehat beytsim volt zi geven mayn zeyde
    • aardvark Mar 25,2013 3:04 pm || Up

      My screen name comes from back in the good old days of IRC. Screen names were listed in alphabetical order and I always wanted to be on top.

      I have no avatar. I suppose I missed it in the initial sign up, and I only recently realized that it might be something I could set up. I’m not sure what I would use though.

      • ptbnl Mar 25,2013 3:56 pm || Up

        If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
    • AV Mar 25,2013 4:08 pm || Up

      i didn’t want to disappoint any of those people people devoted to me, my lore, and the appreciation of everything i entail. there’s a bunch of them. they even formed a club.

      *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
      • dmoas Mar 25,2013 4:46 pm || Up

        It’s been my experience that those people in your club aren’t people people.

        • AV Mar 25,2013 5:20 pm || Up

          alas. i’m not just the president of the club, i’m also a member.

          *i’m* AV. alex vause. put this loon in psych before she hurts someone.
  5. Jennifer Feb 28,2013 6:14 pm

    We picked our final clinical location today. *Everyone* picked ER, and of course, that’s what I picked. Hopefully I get my choice. I picked a hospital close to where my parents live, which is a 45 minute drive from school. Only 2 of us picked it, so maybe that would help. I thought about asking the ER I work at, but I want to expand a little. And Dr. Asshole works ER at this hospital too, so at least there will be a familiar face.

    • Bed Feb 28,2013 6:16 pm || Up

      I watched over 50 episodes of ER…not sure if that helps.

      But seriously, folks....
      • Jennifer Feb 28,2013 6:25 pm || Up

        We have the same problem, Bedward: They don’t take into account what experience we have. It’s just grades, and I’m lacking right now.

        • Bed Feb 28,2013 6:28 pm || Up

          Sometimes when everyone is going one way it’s best to go the other way. What are your second and third choices?

          But seriously, folks....
          • Jennifer Feb 28,2013 6:32 pm || Up

            I picked ICU, and I shouldn’t have. I would have much rather worked in the Telemetry unit.

            • Bed Feb 28,2013 6:34 pm || Up

              Are you locked into your decision?

              But seriously, folks....
              • Jennifer Feb 28,2013 6:35 pm || Up

                Pretty much. The schedule is out tomorrow.

                • Bed Feb 28,2013 6:37 pm || Up

                  Well, I’m sure you’ll do well. It’s clear you have a passion for this profession and that’s important when it comes to our careers.

                  But seriously, folks....
                • ozzman99 Feb 28,2013 8:21 pm || Up

                  I’m ready to kick some ass if you need.

                • Bed Feb 28,2013 8:25 pm || Up

                  I’m better at kissing ass.

                  But seriously, folks....
                • ozzman99 Feb 28,2013 8:47 pm || Up

                  Pucker up, big boy!

                • dmoas Feb 28,2013 9:16 pm || Up

                  [Bends over]

            • FreeSeatUpgrade Feb 28,2013 6:41 pm || Up

              ICU seems like a good second choice behind ER, in that both have that extra adrenaline-pumping life-or-death factor.

              "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
              • Jennifer Feb 28,2013 6:45 pm || Up

                I love the low nurse-to-pt ratio in ICU, but vents and art lines are not strong subjects for me. Granted, you learn all the good stuff on the job, and I have had a pt on a vent before….

  6. Bed Feb 28,2013 6:21 pm

    I’m happy to live in a state that has so few problems that our local politicians can spend their time doing nothing but passing multiple abortion bills…sometimes I miss Sacramento.

    But seriously, folks....
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Feb 28,2013 6:24 pm || Up

      Because the CA state legislature functions so well?

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • Bed Feb 28,2013 6:26 pm || Up

        I actually like a legislature that doesn’t get much done…right now mine is passing crazy shit all over the place.

        But seriously, folks....
  7. Bed Feb 28,2013 6:24 pm

    I say this as a Democrat who doesn’t hate Republicans, in fact I thought I’d be one growing up, but if that party doesn’t get their shit together they’re going to be the Whig party in 30 years.

    But seriously, folks....
    • Soaker Feb 28,2013 6:31 pm || Up

      When one party appears to be gaining a big advantage it invariably plunges back to the depths due to arrogance and scandals.

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
      • Bed Feb 28,2013 6:33 pm || Up

        Scandals and arrogance aren’t going to beat out demographics. The GOP is the party of old, white people and unless they change their ways they’re fucked.

        But seriously, folks....
      • dmoas Feb 28,2013 6:40 pm || Up

        I don’t know. I think the arrogance and scandal are all over the Republican side and they’re not course correcting their ideology which is an absolute necessity.

        • FreeSeatUpgrade Feb 28,2013 6:44 pm || Up

          Bear in mind, though, that the GOP hasn’t really lost much power yet, mostly due to entrenched gerrymandering. Their slide hasn’t hurt them enough yet where it counts, the corporate dollars. I think we need to see more serious losses of clout before we’ll know whether they’re willing or able to course correct.

          "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
          • Bed Feb 28,2013 6:49 pm || Up

            This is why I said 30 years before they could become irrelevant. They’re picking up steam in much of the South so perhaps they’ll just become more of a regional power and still do okay in the House but rarely if ever hold the White House or the Senate.

            But seriously, folks....
          • dmoas Feb 28,2013 7:09 pm || Up

            Oh yeah, it’s not happening tomorrow. But they really are doing everything in their power to make it happen.

          • Future Ed Feb 28,2013 7:09 pm || Up

            2010 was the wrong year to tank. 2020 is the next big one

            I have $5. No I don\'t.
  8. Bed Feb 28,2013 6:29 pm

    Since I’m getting all political I’d also like to say I like the DH and Roger Moore is still my favorite James Bond…that’s right I said it.

    But seriously, folks....
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Feb 28,2013 6:38 pm || Up

      I re-watched a good chunk of Diamonds Are Forever last night, and I disagree. Sean Connery by a mile.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • Bed Feb 28,2013 6:42 pm || Up

        Fair enough…most people agree with you. I think Connery is better actor but to me Moore is more fun as Bond.

        But seriously, folks....
        • Glorious Mundy Feb 28,2013 6:43 pm || Up

          Both were great, but Connery wins on the tiebreaker of hairier chest.

          • Bed Feb 28,2013 6:46 pm || Up

            Hmm…your logic is sound…I may have to change my vote. I actually think all the Bonds have their strengths. Connery, Craig and Dalton played it more seriously. Moore and Brosnan played it with more of a wink…the other guy…uh, he played it once.

            But seriously, folks....
    • Future Ed Feb 28,2013 7:10 pm || Up

      david nivan

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
  9. Jennifer Feb 28,2013 6:31 pm

    The Thor and El Capitán de América bobbleheads have arrived! My collection is almost complete. Mwuahahah!! Mwuahahaha!

    • Bed Feb 28,2013 6:36 pm || Up

      I have my Carney Lansford bobblehead on my desk with my Harry S. Truman bust…that’s my only bobblehead.

      But seriously, folks....
      • Jennifer Feb 28,2013 6:43 pm || Up

        I wanted Superman and Wonder Woman, but shipping was NUTS for those.

        • FreeSeatUpgrade Feb 28,2013 6:46 pm || Up

          In a more reasonable world that would be at the foyer of a major art gallery with a six figure price tag attached.

          "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
        • Bed Feb 28,2013 6:46 pm || Up

          That’s quite a collection.

          But seriously, folks....
          • Jennifer Feb 28,2013 6:49 pm || Up

            You should see my toenail sculptures.

            • Kay Feb 28,2013 9:31 pm || Up

              If you really do that, I wanna see it.

              I’m kinda fascinated by bodily byproduct art…

              \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
              • andeux Feb 28,2013 9:33 pm || Up

                Like this?

                TINSTAAFK
                • Kay Mar 1,2013 5:50 pm || Up

                  Sure, why not?

                  I was thinking more about the lady who makes microsculptures out of bellybutton lint, but the more the merrier!

                  \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
              • Jennifer Feb 28,2013 9:46 pm || Up

                I don’t. :(

        • FreeSeatUpgrade Feb 28,2013 6:51 pm || Up

          Looking more closely:

          1. I gave my Eric Chavez nesting dolls to my kids, and they got destroyed.

          2. I see that you, like me, can’t bear to exile any of the former A’s. Bobby Crosby is still on my shelf too, though pushed into the least desirable back row slot, mostly hidden behind Dallas.

          3. Bryce Harper gets to be in the superhero row?

          "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
          • Soaker Feb 28,2013 6:54 pm || Up

            Loria’s “Bobblehead Museum” is one of the stops on the Marlins Park tour. He has at least a few bobbleheads from each MLB team and of the A’s 7 or 8 representatives, yup, Crosby is in there.

            What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
            • Bed Feb 28,2013 6:56 pm || Up

              Great so a dickhead has a bunch of bobbleheads.

              But seriously, folks....
            • Jennifer Feb 28,2013 7:00 pm || Up

              Challenge accepted! Teddy Roosevelt and Lincoln are from the Nationals, and I have a few Royals, too. I’m like, halfway there.

            • FreeSeatUpgrade Feb 28,2013 7:06 pm || Up

              I’d like to see that before it gets torched by the angry Miami mob after teh city has to lay off its entire police and fire departments. Especially cool is that each shelf vibrates constantly so that the heads always bobble.

              "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
          • Jennifer Feb 28,2013 6:57 pm || Up

            1. Middle Nesting Chavy is missing a hat brim now.

            2. I don’t have Dallas. Bobby is by Suzuki and Rivercat Barton.

            3. Travis Buck is in the row with the superheros.

            • FreeSeatUpgrade Feb 28,2013 7:06 pm || Up

              3. Bryce Harper would have made more sense.

              "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
              • Jennifer Feb 28,2013 7:11 pm || Up

                Does he have a bobblehead? I haven’t had much money lately to purchase any or go to games. Most of the A’s bobbleheads came from you guys! Awww!

              • Jennifer Feb 28,2013 7:14 pm || Up

                Back in 2007 the Brewers had a series of Sausage Race bobbleheads I really wanted.

              • Jennifer Feb 28,2013 7:44 pm || Up

                Bryce Harper bobbleheads are over $100 on eBay. Fuck that.

                • FreeSeatUpgrade Feb 28,2013 7:52 pm || Up

                  Those are clown bobble prices, bro.

                  "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
        • Jennifer Mar 1,2013 5:10 pm || Up

          Updated top row:

          • FreeSeatUpgrade Mar 1,2013 5:23 pm || Up

            Nice.

            "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
          • harensheir15 Mar 2,2013 3:22 am || Up

            Cool.
            Is that Teddy Roosevelt next to Spiderman?

            • Jennifer Mar 2,2013 7:52 am || Up

              Yes. Teddy and Abe.

              • harensheir15 Mar 2,2013 2:25 pm || Up

                That is neat! Now all you need is a Washington and a Jefferson and you have your own Rushmore Bobblehead.

                • Jennifer Mar 2,2013 5:50 pm || Up

                  They were a Nats giveaway from 2006 or 2007, and the set includes Jefferson and Washington. I looked at getting the others but they are over $100 each now.

                • harensheir15 Mar 3,2013 6:28 pm || Up

                  All in good time, I guess.

  10. Bed Feb 28,2013 6:39 pm

    See, a lot of you said the squirrels won the war over the sock puppets and really has the place been the same since?

    But seriously, folks....
    • dmoas Feb 28,2013 6:43 pm || Up

      No. It’s been better.

      • Bed Feb 28,2013 6:47 pm || Up

        Yeah, I’m sorry but no it isn’t.

        But seriously, folks....
        • Leopold Bloom Feb 28,2013 7:10 pm || Up

          Fuck you.

          • Bed Feb 28,2013 7:16 pm || Up

            Mr. Hand and the General will rise again.

            But seriously, folks....
            • Leopold Bloom Feb 28,2013 7:17 pm || Up

              Zombies.

              • Bed Feb 28,2013 7:18 pm || Up

                Yeah, and zombies are all the rage right now….Brains…the right thing to do and the tasty way to do it.

                But seriously, folks....
        • dmoas Feb 28,2013 7:11 pm || Up

          It really is.

          • Bed Feb 28,2013 7:17 pm || Up

            Well, you’re either right or you’re wrong but probably not both…unless it’s both.

            But seriously, folks....
  11. Bed Feb 28,2013 6:43 pm

    Something else I’d like to get off my chest…this rash on my third nipple…does anybody have anything that could help with that?

    But seriously, folks....
    • Jennifer Feb 28,2013 6:48 pm || Up

      A blow torch.

      • Bed Feb 28,2013 6:50 pm || Up

        Well, you’re basically a medical professional so I think that means I have to do this.

        But seriously, folks....
  12. FreeSeatUpgrade Feb 28,2013 6:48 pm

    My daughter is doing Just Dance on the X-Box. Superstition just came on, and she said “I know this song, it’s from that Bud Light commercial!”

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • Bed Feb 28,2013 6:51 pm || Up

      (insert Stevie Wonder driving school instructor joke here)

      But seriously, folks....
    • DFA Feb 28,2013 8:17 pm || Up

      #parentfail

      In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
      • FreeSeatUpgrade Feb 28,2013 8:40 pm || Up

        I don’t listen to a lot of Stevie. But my kids recognize a lot of Stones, Sex Pistols, Buddy Guy and Public Enemy. I’m doin my part.

        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
        • Bed Feb 28,2013 8:44 pm || Up

          My kid doesn’t know any singers…I’m a lousy parent.

          But seriously, folks....
          • FreeSeatUpgrade Feb 28,2013 8:56 pm || Up

            The Wiggles are ready to help you out.

            "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
            • Bed Feb 28,2013 9:00 pm || Up

              All I hope for is that whatever music she ends up loving I hope it’s something I don’t know…I think it’s good for kids to pick their own music.

              But seriously, folks....
            • PDXAthleticsfan Mar 1,2013 8:41 am || Up

              Fortunately, those guys never took hold in my house. Raffi did, for a while, but that’s long gone. Spawn1 prefers to listen to John Williams scores these days and Spawn2 to the music from her Music Together class.

              They do, however, recognize the Toy Dolls and Parliament, so I’ve scored a victory there.

              A soliloquy of fresh-sounding ideas which would probably be disastrous.
  13. Bed Feb 28,2013 6:53 pm

    If you could only have one thing for dinner every day for entire year what would you choose?

    But seriously, folks....
    • MikeV Feb 28,2013 6:57 pm || Up

      Jennifer Love Hewitt

      And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

      Thanks, and go As.

    • Jennifer Feb 28,2013 6:58 pm || Up

      One meal or one item?

      • Bed Feb 28,2013 7:00 pm || Up

        One meal

        But seriously, folks....
        • Jennifer Feb 28,2013 7:49 pm || Up

          Steak. Mac n cheese. Brussel sprouts.

          • Bed Feb 28,2013 7:52 pm || Up

            Hmm…Brussel sprouts…that’s an out of left field choice…I like it.

            But seriously, folks....
            • Bed Feb 28,2013 7:53 pm || Up

              For me…baked chicken, mashed potatoes and asparagus.

              But seriously, folks....
              • Jennifer Feb 28,2013 7:57 pm || Up

                I was going back and forth between sprouts and asparagus. Damn good choices either way.

                • Bed Feb 28,2013 7:59 pm || Up

                  I like Brussel sprouts too. I don’t have them a lot but I enjoy them when I do. My wife doesn’t like them…oh, well nobody’s perfect.

                  But seriously, folks....
                • Jennifer Feb 28,2013 8:01 pm || Up

                  Lima beans. Also a favorite.

                • Bed Feb 28,2013 8:02 pm || Up

                  I’m not as into those. I only have them every once in awhile.

                  But seriously, folks....
                • Jennifer Feb 28,2013 8:03 pm || Up

                  Okra. Spicy pickled… or fried.

                • Bed Feb 28,2013 8:07 pm || Up

                  Now you’ve lost me, I don’t like Okra. I’ve tried it several times and I just can’t get into it.

                  But seriously, folks....
                • colin Feb 28,2013 9:53 pm || Up

                  These are some great choices. I like my sprouts fried in butter. Asparagus grilled, with pepper and a drizzle of vinegar.

    • FreeSeatUpgrade Feb 28,2013 7:07 pm || Up

      Pizza. Nothing else is really even close.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • Bed Feb 28,2013 7:08 pm || Up

        A whole year of pizza…the John Goodman diet.

        But seriously, folks....
        • Leopold Bloom Feb 28,2013 7:14 pm || Up

          I did it for four years while in Florida. And I kind of did resemble John Goodman.

          • Bed Feb 28,2013 7:20 pm || Up

            A whole year of pizza is probably not a diet favored by many Olympic athletes. It sounds tasty though unless it’s pizza from Pizza Hut.

            But seriously, folks....
            • dmoas Feb 28,2013 8:22 pm || Up

              Now hold on… [checks]… nope, Hotdog eating isn’t an Olympic sport… yet.

              • Bed Feb 28,2013 8:27 pm || Up

                The way the Olympics are going it wouldn’t surprise me. I can’t wait to hear Bob Costas break down proper hot dog eating technique.

                But seriously, folks....
                • dmoas Feb 28,2013 9:18 pm || Up

                  “Zi Chan practices deep throating men to prepare himself for…”

                • Bed Feb 28,2013 9:20 pm || Up

                  I’m pretty sure that was also part of John Goodman’s diet.

                  But seriously, folks....
    • Future Ed Feb 28,2013 7:11 pm || Up

      burritos

      I have $5. No I don\'t.
      • DFA Feb 28,2013 9:00 pm || Up

        winner

        In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
      • colin Feb 28,2013 9:58 pm || Up

        This is the right answer, unless the right answer is tacos.

      • nevermoor Feb 28,2013 10:37 pm || Up

        I think this is right, but I’d emerge weighing 500 pounds

        "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
    • ptbnl Feb 28,2013 8:50 pm || Up

      Italian or Indian but I’d have to think to narrow it down any further and it’s past brain o’clock.

      If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
      • harensheir15 Mar 2,2013 3:25 am || Up

        This. More variety for the Veggies in those cuisines.

        • Kay Mar 2,2013 5:40 am || Up

          Once they develop vegetables that scream and beg for you not to kill them, I’m TOTALLY going veggie.

          \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
          • harensheir15 Mar 2,2013 2:27 pm || Up

            What about this quality would make them more appetizing?

            • Kay Mar 2,2013 2:33 pm || Up

              I think I was feeling kinda evil when I wrote that. I hardly remember. It feels like a week ago.

              \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
    • PDXAthleticsfan Mar 1,2013 8:43 am || Up

      Maple-spice rub salmon, asparagus, boiled potatoes with butter.

      A soliloquy of fresh-sounding ideas which would probably be disastrous.
      • DFA Mar 2,2013 7:42 am || Up

        why would you boil potatoes when they can be roasted or mashed?

        In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
        • Kay Mar 2,2013 11:03 am || Up

          Rhetorically, I agree with you.

          However, if you boil potatoes in a flavorful vegetarian or vegan broth, they take on hints of the flavor and leave trace starches that thicken the broth, and you’re well on your way to making a vegetarian or vegan soup to go along with the taters. Boiled squash (peeled) can do the same thing, as well. Basically, it’s an inferior method unless you’re multitasking for non-meat eaters, which I’m guessing doesn’t come up often in your kitchen.

          \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
          • DFA Mar 2,2013 11:07 am || Up

            If you are using potatoes for your soup they should stay in your soup.

            In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
        • PDXAthleticsfan Mar 5,2013 9:41 am || Up

          I could go with roasted; mashed potatoes remind me too much of baby food, which I’ve seen too much of the last five years.

          A soliloquy of fresh-sounding ideas which would probably be disastrous.
          • DFA Mar 5,2013 9:46 am || Up

            fair enough. I love mashed potatoes with a 1:1 dairy to potato ratio

            In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
            • ozzman99 Mar 5,2013 12:52 pm || Up

              Using a ricer and an assload of garlic.

              • DFA Mar 5,2013 11:53 pm || Up

                naw hand mashed, with skins. I likem lumpy.

                In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
                • ozzman99 Mar 6,2013 12:54 pm || Up

                  I like ’em creamy.

                  Wait, what were we talking about again?

                • MikeV Mar 6,2013 1:13 pm || Up

                  thighs

                  And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

                  Thanks, and go As.

                • ozzman99 Mar 6,2013 1:17 pm || Up

                  Oh. Then yeah.

    • Kay Mar 1,2013 5:54 pm || Up

      Perfect nutrition beamed into my veins, so that I didn’t have to eat at all.

      \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
      • DFA Mar 2,2013 7:42 am || Up

        out of all the things that you have ever said, this is the fucking weirdest.

        In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
        • Kay Mar 2,2013 11:10 am || Up

          It’s a matter of proclivity. You are a supertaster and enjoy food and its’ attached rituals.

          I roll my eyes at the concept of food and wish that my consciousness wasn’t attached to this primitive fucking chemical boiler that needs organic matter input multiple times a day.

          \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
          • DFA Mar 2,2013 11:19 am || Up

            I just don’t understand how you can spurn food but be so down for sex. Theyre basically the same thing

            In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
      • batgirl Mar 2,2013 1:28 pm || Up

        Violet you’re turning Violet, Violet!

  14. Bed Feb 28,2013 6:59 pm

    BREAKING NEWS….this just in…in the new Star Trek movie Benedict Cumberbatch will indeed be playing a Tribble.

    But seriously, folks....
  15. Bed Feb 28,2013 7:06 pm

    What’s the worst TV show that you still watched at least five episodes of?

    But seriously, folks....
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Feb 28,2013 7:09 pm || Up

      Ooh, good question. I watched a season of Temptation Island circa 2001, that was pretty awful. And in retrospect Welcome Back Kotter was pretty stupid.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • Bed Feb 28,2013 7:12 pm || Up

        Yeah, I’m going through my mental list of crappy early 80’s shows that I watched as a little kid to find the answer.

        But seriously, folks....
        • Bed Feb 28,2013 7:22 pm || Up

          Okay, I’m going with Small Wonder…the timeless story of a a guy who created a young robot daughter…it’s as good as it sounds.

          But seriously, folks....
          • Kay Mar 1,2013 5:55 pm || Up

            Yup. It was either that or “Out Of This World,” starring the disembodied voice of Burt Reynolds.

            \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
      • ptbnl Feb 28,2013 8:52 pm || Up

        When the first clear image of the Big Bang ever seen came up on my computer screen I called some friends to come see it and they refused because they were too busy watching Temptation Island.

        If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
        • FreeSeatUpgrade Feb 28,2013 8:57 pm || Up

          Hah!

          "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
        • colin Feb 28,2013 9:59 pm || Up

          Was this the Boomerang map?

          • ptbnl Feb 28,2013 10:09 pm || Up

            Yup – the ’97 North American flight.

            If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
    • Soaker Feb 28,2013 7:11 pm || Up

      A horse is a horse, of course, of course…

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
    • Poppy Feb 28,2013 7:38 pm || Up

      The Six Million Dollar Man. Also watching again on… some cable network, I can’t remember which. Not TV Land.

      There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
      • Bed Feb 28,2013 7:55 pm || Up

        That’s the first show I remember watching. I looked it up and it ended it’s run in 1978 and in my mind I remember seeing it as a four year old. It’s possible I saw reruns later and I’m remembering it wrong.

        But seriously, folks....
      • batgirl Mar 2,2013 1:31 pm || Up

        I still have an AWESOME 6 million dollar man beach towel from my childhood.

    • ozzman99 Feb 28,2013 8:29 pm || Up

      So many options.

    • nevermoor Feb 28,2013 10:37 pm || Up

      The last season I watched of the OC

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
      • DFA Feb 28,2013 11:43 pm || Up

        yeah it got pretty awful. it was pretty good before it did tho

        In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
    • Glorious Mundy Mar 1,2013 9:57 am || Up

      Star Trek: Voyager

    • harensheir15 Mar 2,2013 3:35 am || Up

      That one where the Car is a robot or just talks or something.

    • batgirl Mar 2,2013 1:31 pm || Up

      Three’s A Crowd. Mostly because I adored Three’s Company and I once acted as a ball girl at a local “celebrity” charity tennis tournament at our country club and that surfer guy “EZ” was one of my two “celebrities.” The other guy was Frank Bonner from WKRP.

  16. Bed Feb 28,2013 7:09 pm

    One thing is for sure at least 30% of the taglines are about DFA…he’s Free Kraut’s constant.

    But seriously, folks....
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Feb 28,2013 7:11 pm || Up

      That’s the same reason why another 20% of our taglines are about Planck.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • DFA Feb 28,2013 9:05 pm || Up

      looking back on the Phonecian one that date really should have gone better for that to materialize

      In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
  17. Bed Feb 28,2013 7:21 pm

    These lounges that aren’t just me talking to myself are so much better…that shit is so played out.

    But seriously, folks....
  18. Bed Feb 28,2013 7:24 pm

    I just spilled some beer on my jeans and by that I mean I spilled some Perrier water on my khakis.

    But seriously, folks....
    • Jennifer Feb 28,2013 7:27 pm || Up

      Me: I got some Ranch dressing on my spankies.

      • Bed Feb 28,2013 7:30 pm || Up

        For a period in the mid 90’s I think I put Ranch dressing on everything.

        But seriously, folks....
        • Bed Feb 28,2013 7:31 pm || Up

          Also in the mid 90’s I had an ongoing wrist problem that just wouldn’t go away.

          But seriously, folks....
          • Jennifer Feb 28,2013 7:38 pm || Up

            You put Ranch… there?!

            • Bed Feb 28,2013 7:41 pm || Up

              I did…it’s one of my five biggest mistakes…right behind using Brian29 as a screen name.

              But seriously, folks....
        • 5Aces Mar 1,2013 8:55 am || Up

          The eldest Ace hates Ranch dressing (actually all salad dressings). For awhile I was so shocked I would actually prod him to try it. Then one day I had the V8 moment and said to myself “hey fatty-your son donesn’t want to go out of his way to eat oil and fat..this isnt a BAD thing.”

          Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
          • PDXAthleticsfan Mar 1,2013 9:03 am || Up

            Pretty much my exact experience with Spawn1. He’d rather eat his salad undressed.

            A soliloquy of fresh-sounding ideas which would probably be disastrous.
            • ptbnl Mar 1,2013 9:08 am || Up

              And his chicken nuggets, presumably.

              If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
              • PDXAthleticsfan Mar 1,2013 9:11 am || Up

                Not sure – he doesn’t tend to order those. Oddly, puts “everything” on his burgers, which includes lettuce, tomatoes, mustard, ketchup, mayo, and relish.

                A soliloquy of fresh-sounding ideas which would probably be disastrous.
                • DFA Mar 2,2013 7:45 am || Up

                  I miss Bergerville a little. Less so now that Super Duper is around

                  In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
                • PDXAthleticsfan Mar 5,2013 9:44 am || Up

                  I’m over Burgerville. There are a zillion new burger places that have popped up here the last few years, the best of which are Little Big Burger, for simple perfection (and truffle fries) and Killer Burger for juicy, messy, orgasmic goodness.

                  A soliloquy of fresh-sounding ideas which would probably be disastrous.
                • DFA Mar 5,2013 9:47 am || Up

                  it was early on the good burger fast food bandwagon though.

                  In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
                • PDXAthleticsfan Mar 5,2013 9:56 am || Up

                  The business model is certainly outstanding and to be respected, I agree.

                  A soliloquy of fresh-sounding ideas which would probably be disastrous.
            • 5Aces Mar 1,2013 9:11 am || Up

              Yup.

              Of the 3, Eldest doesn’t like Ranch or Marinara sauce (he will eat his pasta plain thank you). Lil Miss Aces will eat pretty much anything but she won’t touch creamy peanut butter. Loves crunchy PB and eats peanuts with me at the game every time, but no creamy PB. And the youngest Ace will not eat rice or most pasta. I’ve tried with each one to get them to eat them, but have finally moved to the point of “well this is dinner-eat what you want, America doesnt have an undereating problem-dont think it will kill you to skip the meal…”

              Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it? -Steve McCatty
              • PDXAthleticsfan Mar 1,2013 9:19 am || Up

                Both Spawns will eat noodles with tomato sauce and actually liked the spaghetti that we made with parmesan and butter. Neither will touch macaroni and cheese, which may make them the weirdest kids ever and makes it difficult any time our synagogue does a dairy kosher dinner event, because usually that means mac and cheese.

                Spawn 2 will stuff herself full on rice, edamame, nuts, cheese, berries, and bacon/sausage (yes, I realize that this is in the same post with the word “synagogue”). She doesn’t seem keen on peanut butter, but she’s still young. Spawn1 has gone back and forth on peanut butter over the years, but is now currently eating it.

                A soliloquy of fresh-sounding ideas which would probably be disastrous.
              • dmoas Mar 1,2013 9:19 am || Up

                I’d definitely stand your ground on the “This is dinner. If you want to eat dinner, this is what you’re eating. If not, that’s fine, see you at breakfast” mantra. As a child of parents who caved, I still can’t eat most foods because I was never forced to deal with the various textures and the like while my gag reflex has only grown.

                • PDXAthleticsfan Mar 1,2013 9:24 am || Up

                  We do that to a point – Spawn1 must at least have a little of what we serve; we don’t push too hard on the carbohydrates, but at least the protein and veggies. This led to the Great Asparagus battle of 2013 this week, but he eventually caved. Spawn2 is too young for us to be too pushy, but we’re starting to be more strict as far as getting her to eat something, mostly so that she’ll make it through the night.

                  A soliloquy of fresh-sounding ideas which would probably be disastrous.
                • MikeV Mar 1,2013 9:50 am || Up

                  Doesn’t always work.

                  And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

                  Thanks, and go As.

              • FreeSeatUpgrade Mar 1,2013 9:44 am || Up

                Segundo Upgrade puts ketchup on his pasta instead of marinara. I believe the seismic impact of generations of my Italian ancestors turning over in their graves was the real cause of that Italian earthquake that got blamed on the seismologists.

                "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
                • ptbnl Mar 1,2013 9:48 am || Up

                  Lily too – despite the gnashing of teeth and rending of garments that ensues.

                  If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
                • Future Ed Mar 1,2013 10:41 am || Up

                  no red sauce. they just like butter. and cheese

                  I have $5. No I don\'t.
                • DFA Mar 2,2013 7:44 am || Up

                  Thats just weird.

                  In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
              • harensheir15 Mar 2,2013 3:41 am || Up

                WIC program guidelines suggest involving children in food prep. Every step from buying produce and reading labels to serving and clean-up. Ownership and all.

                • Kay Mar 2,2013 5:42 am || Up

                  Kay’s guidelines suggest making WIC a fully digital card-based program, as opposed to having recipients hold up the grocery line with nineteen different government checks to pay for different parts of the grocery bill.

                  \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
                • DFA Mar 2,2013 7:58 am || Up

                  Youre late. They have ebt cards that function as debit cards now

                  In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
                • Kay Mar 2,2013 11:11 am || Up

                  for EBT, yes. Not for WIC.

                  \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
                • DFA Mar 2,2013 5:34 pm || Up

                  are you sure? I was pretty sure that they tied into the foodstamps card

                  In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
                • Kay Mar 2,2013 6:04 pm || Up

                  I stood behind someone with four different WIC checks for less than $80 worth of food last week at the grocery store.

                  \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
                • Kay Mar 2,2013 6:05 pm || Up

                  I think WIC is done by the respective counties…

                  \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
                • DFA Mar 2,2013 6:35 pm || Up

                  I use to work with WIC counselors about three years ago, great people doing a tough job, but my understanding was that it was being combined with EBT. It is run by the counties with funding coming from grants from the feds

                  In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
                • Kay Mar 2,2013 7:30 pm || Up

                  Hmm… maybe SF county has it combined and Sacramento doesn’t. That sounds likely.

                  \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
                • DFA Mar 2,2013 10:09 pm || Up

                  i think im wrong. I use to work with people theat did ebt too. This was Salano county not SF

                  In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
                • Jennifer Mar 2,2013 6:10 pm || Up

                  WIC still comes on real paper checks. I had clinical at WIC last year, and holy hell. From my written paperwork for school following my assessment of one particular child:

                  [My] first nutritional assessment was on a 2 year old girl. She weighed 21 pounds, putting her in the 8th percentile for weight; she was 32 inches tall and in the 12th percentile for height. In three months the child had gained 12 ounces and grown 1 inch. The child had dull, brittle hair, and dark circles under her eyes. When asked about the girl’s eating habits, the father stated, “She eats whatever she can get ahold of… mainly hot dogs and mini corn dogs.” The father stated he tries to feed her vegetables by mixing them in macaroni and cheese, but she doesn’t like that so [we] give her V8 Splash now. Educated the parents that juices like V8 Splash are full of sugar, and should not replace vegetables; fresh fruits are also healthier. Informed the parents that any juice should be watered down before giving them to children, and the father said he knew and that his older daughter had her top teeth pulled because she had had bottle mouth. Father also stated when the child is thirsty he gives her Kool Aid, Bug juice, and soda, and that the children have their own little Dora table they eat at in front of the television. For snacks the child is given Cheetos and Funyuns. The father states the child has dark circles under her eyes because he thinks she is low on iron. The dietitian educated the parents on this myth, and dark circles under the eyes are a sign that the child isn’t getting the proper nutrients she needs. Recommended fruits for the child, but the father stated the girl breaks out in a rash on her cheeks when she eats oranges. He said he also doesn’t consider applesauce “enough of anything” nutritionally. The dietitian recommended trying spaghetti squash instead of letting the child eat bologna, macaroni and cheese, and French fries, and gave the family a recipe on how to cook spaghetti squash. She told the family they could substitute the squash for pasta, adding marinara or cheese, and most children couldn’t tell a difference. When asked about how much the child drinks, the father stated she usually had “four to five cups a day” a day. The dietitian warned the family that giving the child excess fluids could make her full and not wanting to eat, and she needs the calories. The father replied, “Oh, we usually give her strawberry milk to try to fatten her up.”

                  Congrats, America.

                • batgirl Mar 2,2013 6:20 pm || Up

                  That is so terrifying and sad. And this is why it makes me want to punch a wall when conservatives bash Michelle Obama with the whole “nanny state” nonsense for trying to improve kids nutrition.

                • DFA Mar 2,2013 6:35 pm || Up

                  DFWAS

                  Seriously that is so sad.

                  In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
                • ozzman99 Mar 2,2013 6:56 pm || Up

                  The saddest part is that this is not atypical, I’m sure.

                • Kay Mar 2,2013 7:32 pm || Up

                  not by a LONG shot.

                  \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
                • nobody in particular Mar 2,2013 11:18 pm || Up

                  Stories like this make me want to break things, and then when I’m done breaking things get a passport and get the F out of this pathetic non-excuse for a civilization. What galls me isn’t that such depredations take place, as I’m sure they are more than commonplace… it’s that these very same people — even the victims!!!! — fancy themselves “exceptional” and “superior” to other places where the children might actually get more than Funyons and purple drank for dinner.

                  I guess if you’re America — the richest nation every in human history, after all — you can’t feed people because then they might poke their heads above the drowning waters you’ve cast them into to prevent them from recognizing that they are perfect, complete and ecstatically obedient slaves.

                  Never suck on a Blow Pop with the microphone open.
                • PDXAthleticsfan Mar 5,2013 9:50 am || Up

                  Wow, reading that makes me feel like parent of the year.

                  Spawn 2 is like 5th percentile in weight (although 70th in height). It has been a struggle getting her to eat much at all until fairly recently, but we’ve persisted with a generally healthy diet and diluted juice only as part of Friday night dinners. She has gotten much better of late in terms of variety, so it’s good.

                  A soliloquy of fresh-sounding ideas which would probably be disastrous.
                • Englishmajor Mar 2,2013 5:31 pm || Up

                  Not to mention being berated by Safeway clerks because they chose the kind of bread that wasn’t covered. I was in line behind a woman and her middle-school-aged kids the other day who had this happen. The kids looked like they wanted to die of shame.

                • PDXAthleticsfan Mar 5,2013 9:46 am || Up

                  Yes, this is becoming a big deal. We do involve them as far as their attention spans will allow, which sometimes is awhile and sometimes is not-at-all.

                  A soliloquy of fresh-sounding ideas which would probably be disastrous.
              • DFA Mar 2,2013 7:48 am || Up

                We had a this is dinner you will eat it and unless you do there will be no other food policy. One time my mom made a taragon chicken that was so bad that we still talk about it and to this day she refuses to eat taragon but she just turned to me at the time and said, “this is dinner” and we both at that awful awful chicken, suffering together.

                I will do this to my future recalled from optional assignments.

                In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
                • Kay Mar 2,2013 11:14 am || Up

                  My mom did this one time with something called “Bacon Pie.”

                  Apparently, the condensed milk she used was super old or something, and the kids sat there pawing at it and rolling their eyes, and my mom got mad at us until she ate her first bite, and sensed something funny. She wasn’t willing to give up on the battle of wills tho, no matter how bad it tasted. It was Grandma blurting out “This tastes like vomit. Let’s go get some Kentucky Fried Chicken!” that saved the day.

                  \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
                • ozzman99 Mar 2,2013 6:57 pm || Up

                  Bacon and condensed milk? I’m both disgusted and intrigued, simultaneously.

                • DFA Mar 2,2013 7:25 pm || Up

                  It really wasn’t a battle of the wills.

                  There were only 8 food items I didn’t like as a kid. I regularly eat 7 of them today

                  In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
          • DFA Mar 2,2013 7:44 am || Up

            I didn’t eat butter for a while as a kid. I wasn’t a big fan of fat on pork or steak either. Butter is good now, but ill still avoid fat for fats sake.

            In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
    • Poppy Feb 28,2013 7:39 pm || Up

      Oh, you must be one of my neighbors.

      There's a wild thing in the woolshed and it's keeping me awake at night.
  19. Bed Feb 28,2013 7:29 pm

    “That’ll do pig, that’ll do” – What I say while cooking up a pork roast.

    But seriously, folks....
  20. Bed Feb 28,2013 7:35 pm

    If you think about it, the line, get out of my dreams, get into my car, is a little bit bossy.

    But seriously, folks....
    • Kay Mar 1,2013 6:02 pm || Up

      and more than a little bit creepy.

      \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
      • Tutu-late Mar 2,2013 7:12 am || Up

        Unless you own a windowless van….wait….that’s just a creepy….

        nevermind!

        • Kay Mar 2,2013 11:15 am || Up

          I kinda want a windowless van. And yeah, I’d probably do pervy things in the back of it… but with my wife and boyfriend on camping trips…

          \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
        • ozzman99 Mar 2,2013 6:57 pm || Up

          Roses are red,
          Violets are blue.
          I’ve got a gun.
          Get in the van.

  21. Bed Feb 28,2013 7:36 pm

    It always makes me happy when someone says they’ve done a 360 on something.

    But seriously, folks....
    • Bed Feb 28,2013 7:44 pm || Up

      Other things that make me happy…steak, cherry pie, golf, other kinds of pie, steak, money, the Raiders…well, not lately, my family and whatnot, steak and did I mention that other type of pie?

      But seriously, folks....
    • Kay Mar 1,2013 6:02 pm || Up

      Tagline!?!

      \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
  22. Bed Feb 28,2013 7:45 pm

    Hey, I forgot I had that second tagline…I’m am so fucking amazing.

    But seriously, folks....
  23. Bed Feb 28,2013 7:51 pm

    I wear size 12 shoes and you know what that means, ladies…it means I wear size 12 shoes.

    But seriously, folks....
  24. Bed Feb 28,2013 8:01 pm

    I just watched the ad for the new Hannibal TV show…I don’t know, it looked a little cheesy to me. I just wonder how that’s going to work as a TV show?

    But seriously, folks....
    • Bed Feb 28,2013 8:08 pm || Up

      and it’s on NBC which right now is getting lower ratings than some Cable Access shows.

      But seriously, folks....
  25. Bed Feb 28,2013 8:03 pm

    Seriously why would anyone want to watch a pitcher hit?

    But seriously, folks....
    • Kay Mar 1,2013 6:03 pm || Up

      because 15-20% of the time they have a positive outcome and it’s cool to see the underdog succeed

      \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
      • Kay Mar 1,2013 6:04 pm || Up

        I’m down for having a Designated Fan bat for the pitcher, tho. That would be fun.

        \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
  26. Bed Feb 28,2013 8:06 pm

    I think this lounge needs some Kay and Oz to class it up a bit…well, with Oz it’s more ass than class but he’s good at what he does.

    But seriously, folks....
  27. Bed Feb 28,2013 8:10 pm

    I say, I say dear bartender I find myself becoming quite parched.

    But seriously, folks....
  28. Bed Feb 28,2013 8:12 pm

    Just remember it could be worse…your sextape could have been released only on Betamax.

    But seriously, folks....
    • colin Feb 28,2013 10:05 pm || Up

      They have a betamax player at the South Pole. Decent movie collection too. I think I watched The Warriors on betamax.

  29. Bed Feb 28,2013 8:15 pm

    “I like your earlier more comedic work better.” – What I said upon meeting Dr. Jack Kervorkian

    But seriously, folks....
  30. Bed Feb 28,2013 8:17 pm

    I’m a loser baby so why don’t you give me a bunch of Grammys.

    But seriously, folks....
  31. Bed Feb 28,2013 8:23 pm

    Since I’m married to a Catholic I’m pretty sure I’m in the running to be the next Pope. Pope Beddy The First.

    But seriously, folks....
  32. Bed Feb 28,2013 8:28 pm

    If it walks like a duck and it quacks like a duck it’s probably a kangaroo.

    But seriously, folks....
  33. Bed Feb 28,2013 8:29 pm

    You know my posts would probably make more sense if I was someone who could write posts that actually made sense.

    But seriously, folks....
  34. Bed Feb 28,2013 8:31 pm

    When I think back to my High School Prom it’s really the whisker burn that I remember.

    But seriously, folks....
    • ozzman99 Feb 28,2013 8:49 pm || Up

      How many days was it since she shaved?

      • Bed Feb 28,2013 8:50 pm || Up

        Who said anything about a she?

        But seriously, folks....
        • ozzman99 Feb 28,2013 8:52 pm || Up

          Either way, stubbly pubes are the worst.

          • Bed Feb 28,2013 8:56 pm || Up

            I like closely cropped better myself.

            But seriously, folks....
  35. Bed Feb 28,2013 8:31 pm

    I say, I say dear poster that’s not nearly random enough.

    But seriously, folks....
    • Kay Mar 1,2013 6:05 pm || Up

      Foghorn Bedhorn?

      \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
  36. Bed Feb 28,2013 8:37 pm

    Well, Bridget the Midget just called. Her marriage to Alex Trebek is off. Since the heart attack he’s just useless in the sack. She’s decided to switch teams and has now set her sights on Dame Judi Dench. Bridget says the British accent and the strong possibility of arthritis are major turn ons.

    But seriously, folks....
  37. Bed Feb 28,2013 8:40 pm

    This next post is dedicated to PL78 and that other guy who always thought he was funny but really wasn’t…wait, what…oh, shit that was me…uh, never mind.

    But seriously, folks....
  38. Bed Feb 28,2013 8:41 pm

    And now we come to the meta part of the show…I really didn’t like it that one time when that one person said that one thing about that other person because of that thing they did to the other person while that other person was fucking a goat.

    But seriously, folks....
    • Kay Mar 1,2013 6:06 pm || Up

      Jesus dude, you were on FIRE last night!

      \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
  39. Bed Feb 28,2013 8:43 pm

    Well, I guess he’s gone. It was nice to chat a bit with Bloom. His posts made me laugh through a few of the toughest months of my life a couple years back and for that I’ll always be grateful.

    But seriously, folks....
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Feb 28,2013 9:06 pm || Up

      Wish he was by a lot more, but that’s not where he’s at these days I guess.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  40. Bed Feb 28,2013 8:45 pm

    Always remember to put the biscuit in the basket and put in the books and send it to the line.

    But seriously, folks....
  41. Bed Feb 28,2013 8:46 pm

    For an encore I’ll most likely die.

    But seriously, folks....
  42. Bed Feb 28,2013 8:47 pm

    All of my posts will make more sense if you read them in the voice of Roger Mudd.

    But seriously, folks....
    • Kay Mar 1,2013 6:07 pm || Up

      Omigod, this sentence totally works for me if I can remove one word from it.

      \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
  43. Jennifer Feb 28,2013 8:48 pm

    Thanks, Bed. I’ve been singing that song all night now.

    • Bed Feb 28,2013 8:49 pm || Up

      You’re the one who played it for me first so I’m happy to oblige.

      But seriously, folks....
  44. ozzman99 Feb 28,2013 8:49 pm

    Wait, Tina Fey and Paul Rudd made a new movie? I’ll watch it.

    • Bed Feb 28,2013 8:50 pm || Up

      Wait, I’ve never seen anything Tina Fey has done. Mainly due to her love of Okra.

      But seriously, folks....
      • ozzman99 Feb 28,2013 8:53 pm || Up

        She can do me, if she wants.

        • Bed Feb 28,2013 8:55 pm || Up

          I’m sure she has better things to do.

          But seriously, folks....
        • FreeSeatUpgrade Feb 28,2013 8:59 pm || Up

          Made up as Sarah Palin, preferably.

          "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
          • ozzman99 Feb 28,2013 9:01 pm || Up

            I’ve never found Sarah Palin to be hot.

            • Bed Feb 28,2013 9:03 pm || Up

              Well, to be fair I did find her hotter than Dick Cheney.

              But seriously, folks....
              • ozzman99 Feb 28,2013 9:05 pm || Up

                Until he shoots her in the face.

                • Bed Feb 28,2013 9:08 pm || Up

                  Oh, I shot her in the face alright.

                  But seriously, folks....
                • Bed Feb 28,2013 9:08 pm || Up

                  You sick, sick, sick bastard.

                  But seriously, folks....
                • ozzman99 Feb 28,2013 9:10 pm || Up

                  Is that any way to talk about the former governor of Alaska???

                • Bed Feb 28,2013 9:13 pm || Up

                  If I could name another former governor of Alaska I’d make a joke about that person but to be honest I’m not even sure Alaska is actually a real place.

                  But seriously, folks....
          • Bed Feb 28,2013 9:02 pm || Up

            I prefer Julianne Moore as my fake Palin.

            But seriously, folks....
        • DFA Feb 28,2013 11:23 pm || Up

          this

          In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
    • colin Feb 28,2013 10:09 pm || Up

      That’s the movie where she is a college admissions officer, right? It looks FKing terrible!

      • ozzman99 Feb 28,2013 10:21 pm || Up

        I couldn’t care less, they both make me laugh.

  45. Bed Feb 28,2013 8:54 pm

    You know how you can tell this is a blog about a baseball team from Oakland? Right now the people posting on it live in Missouri, South Carolina and Arkansas…and two of them are really cool people.

    But seriously, folks....
    • ozzman99 Feb 28,2013 8:58 pm || Up

      Poor Jennifer. You don’t have to say stuff like that about her, you know.

      • Bed Feb 28,2013 9:01 pm || Up

        pfft…I was counting her as the cool one twice…you and I are both dorks.

        But seriously, folks....
        • ozzman99 Feb 28,2013 9:03 pm || Up

          Ass kisser.

          • Bed Feb 28,2013 9:04 pm || Up

            Well, I did mention earlier that was more my area of expertise.

            But seriously, folks....
            • ozzman99 Feb 28,2013 9:08 pm || Up

              I wouldn’t know. No one kisses my ass. Maybe if I washed it…

    • FreeSeatUpgrade Feb 28,2013 8:58 pm || Up

      We’ve cornered the market on cool people from Missouri, South Carolina and Arkansas.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • ozzman99 Feb 28,2013 9:01 pm || Up

        You really have.

      • Jennifer Feb 28,2013 9:02 pm || Up

        Who else is from Missouri? :)

        • FreeSeatUpgrade Feb 28,2013 9:04 pm || Up

          Dude, you’re cooler than everyone else in Missouri put together.

          "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
          • Jennifer Feb 28,2013 9:07 pm || Up

            You’re drunk!

          • Bed Feb 28,2013 9:11 pm || Up

            Well, Missouri does have some cool people in it…South Carolina on the other hand is nothing but assholes and bald dudes who love Ozzy. Arkansas is just people who marry their cousins and play banjos.

            But seriously, folks....
  46. Bed Feb 28,2013 8:57 pm

    Like it often did the date ended badly when Brian brought up his multiple bouts of the clap.

    But seriously, folks....
  47. Bed Feb 28,2013 9:06 pm

    “Would you like fries with that?” – What I said in my first job after getting a Masters Degree in American Studies.

    But seriously, folks....
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Feb 28,2013 9:12 pm || Up

      Also what the Nevada Highway Patrol was saying earlier today.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  48. Bed Feb 28,2013 9:09 pm

    Listen I’m just going to say it…I know more than you do about Michael Dukakis….thank you Masters Degree in American Studies…oh and do you want fries with that?

    But seriously, folks....
  49. Bed Feb 28,2013 9:14 pm

    and uh…leave the boots on…so when I’m done you’ll be quicker getting dressed to go make me some eggs.

    But seriously, folks....
  50. Bed Feb 28,2013 9:15 pm

    When people ask me for advice I always tell them that perhaps they should be better at picking out people who they ask advice from.

    But seriously, folks....
  51. Bed Feb 28,2013 9:16 pm

    I had a Subway sandwich for lunch and against all odds I’m still alive.

    But seriously, folks....
  52. Bed Feb 28,2013 9:16 pm

    I’m not a sexist I was just drawn this way.

    But seriously, folks....
  53. Bed Feb 28,2013 9:18 pm

    My favorite Beatle? Slash.

    But seriously, folks....
  54. Bed Feb 28,2013 9:19 pm

    I knew I was the cool guy in college when I was told JD was going to be at the party and I said “JD who?”

    But seriously, folks....
  55. Jennifer Feb 28,2013 9:20 pm

    Well hell, kids. It’s damn near midnight. Guess I better start on my homework.

    • Bed Feb 28,2013 9:21 pm || Up

      It’s always good to get an early start.

      But seriously, folks....
      • Jennifer Feb 28,2013 9:29 pm || Up

        Meh. It’s just a medical journal summary. I can have it knocked out in no time.

        • Bed Feb 28,2013 9:31 pm || Up

          I got through college by bribery and sexual favors…okay, mostly bribery.

          But seriously, folks....
  56. Bed Feb 28,2013 9:23 pm

    That chick, Luca who lives upstairs from me sure makes a lot of noise.

    But seriously, folks....
    • Soaker Mar 1,2013 10:35 am || Up

      I had to look this up because I thought, wait, did Bed just reference a song that’s less than 25 years old?!?!

      The answer is No. The song came out in 1987.

      What I discovered Blew. My. Mind. -- Pat Boone
      • Bed Mar 3,2013 5:19 pm || Up

        Okay, good…I made it under the wire then…the streak continues!

        But seriously, folks....
  57. Bed Feb 28,2013 9:25 pm

    Listen if you want me to drink the Kool-Aid that’s going to kill me at least make it grape.

    But seriously, folks....
  58. Bed Feb 28,2013 9:28 pm

    And don’t worry that thing that was posted wasn’t about you…when we talk about you we do it behind your back.

    But seriously, folks....
  59. FreeSeatUpgrade Feb 28,2013 9:32 pm

    The five-hour old (so no spoilers please) Tar Heel hoops game I’m watching now just told me that today is Dean Smith’s 82nd birthday!

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • Bed Feb 28,2013 9:33 pm || Up

      Jayhawks are tough.

      But seriously, folks....
      • FreeSeatUpgrade Feb 28,2013 9:59 pm || Up

        Dean Smith was coached by Phog Allen, who was coached by James Naismith. Dayum!

        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  60. Bed Feb 28,2013 9:32 pm

    See now, Jennifer has gotten me into a bunch of cool music…what the heck have the rest of you done for me?…well, besides Oz who it turns out is actually my dad.

    But seriously, folks....
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Feb 28,2013 9:33 pm || Up

      I taught you what FWIW means!

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • Bed Feb 28,2013 9:36 pm || Up

        Okay, you get a pass but the rest of you really need to send me five bucks or something.

        But seriously, folks....
        • Jennifer Feb 28,2013 9:39 pm || Up

          Can I get a cut of that?

          • Bed Feb 28,2013 9:42 pm || Up

            Sure…it should add up to what…30 bucks?

            But seriously, folks....
    • Jennifer Feb 28,2013 9:44 pm || Up

      Have you read DFA and FUS talking about Macklemore & Ryan Lewis? You should check out their stuff, and not just the shit played on the radio. The entire album is good.

      ” frameborder=”0″ allowfullscreen>

      ” frameborder=”0″ allowfullscreen>

      • Bed Feb 28,2013 9:48 pm || Up

        I’ll give them a listen.

        But seriously, folks....
        • Jennifer Feb 28,2013 10:01 pm || Up

          If you like baseball:

          ” frameborder=”0″ allowfullscreen>

          • FreeSeatUpgrade Feb 28,2013 10:05 pm || Up

            Namechecks then samples Dave Neihaus, respect.

            "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • FreeSeatUpgrade Feb 28,2013 9:56 pm || Up

        That second song is intense. Hopefully as he/they evolves he/they’ll figure out how to be both catchy and intelligent in the same song.

        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • ozzman99 Feb 28,2013 10:23 pm || Up

      But my hip is fine!

  61. Bed Feb 28,2013 9:35 pm

    After college I took a year off to go find myself. When I did it turned out I was kind of a dick.

    But seriously, folks....
  62. Bed Feb 28,2013 9:38 pm

    This has been a fun lounge…I should just quit now and go out on top…well, go out not on the bottom at least…although I hear being a bottom isn’t so bad with the right water based gel…uh, what was I saying again?

    But seriously, folks....
    • Kay Mar 1,2013 6:21 pm || Up

      J-Lube. It’s called J-Lube, and you can mix it up yourself at home from a powder base. Roger Mudd told me all about it.

      \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
      • beebo Mar 2,2013 10:32 am || Up

        That sounds like a complementary gift that they send to you after you sign up for JDate. (“It’s kosher!”)

  63. Bed Feb 28,2013 9:41 pm

    It turns out my super power is the ability to never tire about talking about myself. I’m Captain Narcissist.

    But seriously, folks....
  64. Bed Feb 28,2013 9:50 pm

    My plan for world domination faltered when I ran out of Sour Cream and Onion Pringles.

    But seriously, folks....
  65. Bed Feb 28,2013 9:55 pm

    After looking at the numbers it turns out Jennifer had the highest VORP in tonight’s lounge.

    But seriously, folks....
    • FreeSeatUpgrade Feb 28,2013 9:58 pm || Up

      We’d be in the cellar without her.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
  66. Bed Feb 28,2013 9:56 pm

    I enjoyed reading how many of you came up with your screen names…the one I came up with on AN was the first time I had ever done something like that so I was curious how you folks did yours.

    But seriously, folks....
  67. Bed Feb 28,2013 9:59 pm

    Always bet on burgundy.

    But seriously, folks....
  68. Bed Feb 28,2013 10:00 pm

    That’s the news, and I am outta here…

    But seriously, folks....
  69. FreeSeatUpgrade Feb 28,2013 10:01 pm

    They’re making Aroldis Chapman a starter, I just heard. That’s like a Felix or Strassbourg upside if he can sustain it, huh.

    "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • colin Feb 28,2013 10:20 pm || Up

      Ask a Red Sox fan how that turned out for Daniel Bard. (except that Chapman is by all indications a much better pitcher)

      • Dial C for Concupiscence Mar 1,2013 11:09 am || Up

        Certainly not guaranteed success, and there’s always the possibility he settles in as a solid but inconsistent starter and fans start clamoring for him to return to the bullpen. Some back and forth jerking around and he could end up getting hurt like Neftali Feliz

    • MikeV Mar 1,2013 10:42 am || Up

      If I remember right he was a starter initially and they moved him to the bullpen to get him into the bigs sooner.

      And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

      Thanks, and go As.

    • harensheir15 Mar 2,2013 3:46 am || Up

      If he hits one out when they visit us in June, we’d get to read a summary post on first looking into Chapman’s homer.
      /iglew

  70. Future Ed Mar 1,2013 11:05 am

    Mattingly told Eric Stephen of SB Nation that the setback “challenges” Crawford’s status for Opening Day, which is now very much in question.

    oh my

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
  71. Future Ed Mar 1,2013 11:09 am

    brett wallace just doubled. he looks depressed

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
    • dmoas Mar 1,2013 11:19 am || Up

      He had to run. Wouldn’t you be depressed if you had to run?

  72. Future Ed Mar 1,2013 11:16 am

    Astros guy says Chris carter is getting time in left

    I have $5. No I don\'t.
  73. MikeV Mar 1,2013 2:16 pm

    At first I saw this pitch and thought it was a pretty nasty changeup.

    Then I looked at the radar gun.

    holy shit

    And I have to say: mikev is one of my favorite people on here -slusser.

    Thanks, and go As.

    • nevermoor Mar 1,2013 5:47 pm || Up

      Holy shit

      "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
      • brian.only Mar 1,2013 5:50 pm || Up

        Yeah for reals, who is it pitching?

        • ptbnl Mar 1,2013 5:53 pm || Up

          Familia, facing Lee last October.

          If this is His will, He's a son of a bitch.
          • brian.only Mar 1,2013 5:55 pm || Up

            Thx, I saw it in the url after I posted that, durrrrrrrrrrrr…

  74. Jennifer Mar 1,2013 4:21 pm

    I almost had a stroke today, that’s how high my blood pressure was. First, WTF is going on? I literally did not sleep at all last night. Could be why I felt stroke-ish today. Then as soon as I get to class, I get a call from my landlord. My upstairs neighbor – the bitch with the bird seed that has ruined TWO AC units – called and complained that I was smoking in my apartment. The landlord reminded me that we were a nonsmoking facility and I would lose my deposit, blahblah. I flipped my lid. This cunt nozzle has the balls to complain about ME? So I told the lady not only do I not smoke, but I am in my apartment for about 6 hours a day, and some of that time is spent sleeping. Additionally, I’ve lived there for almost TWO YEARS. Why is she just now complaining? I told the landlord that someone has been putting cigarette butts on the hood of my fucking car, so eat shit.

    Then I find out that the package I had overnighted on TUESDAY still hasn’t arrived. The driver refuses to go down the road to my parents house because of the snowy conditions. I paid $40 for overnight shipping, and the package is for school on Monday. FedEx tells me I can file a claim to get my money back. I just wanted my package. I was much calmer when I found out they could deliver it to another location tomorrow morning. Then I get to my parents’ house and says UPS has been TWICE in the last two days, and this is what the fucking road looks like:

    • Jennifer Mar 1,2013 4:30 pm || Up

      And now FedEx says I can’t file a claim because it was due to conditions beyond their control.

      • dmoas Mar 1,2013 4:39 pm || Up

        FedEx is fking garbage. I’d take UPS or USPS over them in a heartbeat.

        • Jennifer Mar 1,2013 4:43 pm || Up

          I didn’t have an option.

        • nevermoor Mar 1,2013 5:48 pm || Up

          Our firm just switched to UPS nationally. They must be cheaper too.

          "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want"
        • brian.only Mar 1,2013 5:51 pm || Up

          I see them throw boxes almost daily, the other great practice they have is leaving stacks of boxes unattended behind the box truck…

    • FreeSeatUpgrade Mar 1,2013 5:24 pm || Up

      Sorry darling. Don’t let the assholes drag you down.

      "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
    • ozzman99 Mar 1,2013 11:58 pm || Up

      My boss calls me up today and is all, “So you’re still free on Sunday, right?” Um, free for what? We never talked about Sunday. Turns out he forgot to mention that he has a job for me. Well, too bad. I’m already busy. I need the fucking money, but I can’t break my commitment. I mean, I could. But it would leave someone else high and dry, and that’s kind of a dick move.
      Then I go to shoot an event for a food blog. First of all, she wants me to shoot from 11am to 1am. For $20, and I have to pay for my own parking. And I don’t get fed. Fuck that, obviously. Also, I have class til 230 anyway, so that’s not happening. Ok, then I get down there to shoot around 5. Marion Square, she says. So I park my car in a garage. Then I get a text saying I have to go to a hotel on the other side of the square to pick up my press credentials. I haul my 30 lbs or so worth of gear all the way over there to find out that my credentials aren’t there. After talking to 2 people in the building and making a phone call to someone whose name I still don’t know, I find out my credentials are at will call. Which closed at 5. But that’s ok, I can just show up at the dinner I’m supposed to shoot. They know I’m coming. So I text my contact to find out which of the 4 tents I’m supposed to be in. None, it turns out. I’m shooting at a restaurant about, oh.. I don’t know, 15 blocks away? No way in hell I’m hiking that with all my gear. Do I look like EC? So I go back to my car and set out for the restaurant. As I’m tooling down the road, minding my own business, Soccer Mom suddenly realizes that talking on the phone and driving a huge fucking SUV all at the same time isn’t easy. She wanders into my lane. I swerve to avoid her, hit the curb, and bust a tire. I’ve got about 30k miles on this set, and I drive a Subaru. So guess who’s buying 4 new tires tomorrow? Oh, and when I went to change my flat I discovered that my jack is missing.
      Ok, so then I call my mommy, hoping to be cheered up. Which would’ve worked, if I wasn’t just finding out that my aunt had a heart attack yesterday. She didn’t die, but apparently she’s not doing very well at all.

      • whimsical witch Mar 2,2013 12:04 am || Up

        wth. i’m sorry, babe. that sucks so bad. HUGS. (fucking merc retro)

        • ozzman99 Mar 2,2013 12:14 am || Up

          Thanks, J. Today was shit. Now I need to go to bed so that I can get up in 5 hours and start shooting again.

          • whimsical witch Mar 2,2013 12:18 am || Up

            sleep well, babe. tomorrow will be better.

      • brian.only Mar 2,2013 2:01 am || Up

        Fucking horrible, sorry man…

      • Kay Mar 2,2013 5:43 am || Up

        ouch.

        \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
      • Jennifer Mar 2,2013 7:55 am || Up

        Well, yesterday sucked.

      • FreeSeatUpgrade Mar 2,2013 7:59 am || Up

        Damn, that’s a rough day. Hang in there amigo.

        "Kraut will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no kraut."
      • oblique Mar 2,2013 7:59 am || Up

        Holy crap.

      • DFA Mar 2,2013 8:01 am || Up

        huggles

        In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
      • dmoas Mar 2,2013 7:39 pm || Up

        Okay. But what did you have for dinner???!!

        • ozzman99 Mar 2,2013 10:15 pm || Up

          A sub from Jersey Mike’s. And a relatively large (for me) amount of rum.

      • Dial C for Concupiscence Mar 2,2013 9:27 pm || Up

        Garbage. That’s rough times.

      • PDXAthleticsfan Mar 5,2013 9:54 am || Up

        Awful. Hang in there, man.

        A soliloquy of fresh-sounding ideas which would probably be disastrous.
  75. brian.only Mar 1,2013 5:49 pm

    Man, Choice, 9 for 16 ?!

    Early, but I’m guessing he spells Coco Crisp next year if he does well in AA/AAA.
    Seeing Choice follow Russell at the plate gave me shivers a few days ago.

    • Glorious Mundy Mar 1,2013 6:11 pm || Up

      It’s nice having a team option on Coco next year at a reasonable price. No need to rush Choice unless he completely forces the issue.

      • Future Ed Mar 1,2013 6:27 pm || Up

        and chris young at $11 (1.5 buyout)

        I have $5. No I don\'t.
        • Glorious Mundy Mar 1,2013 6:29 pm || Up

          I doubt they pick that one up unless he has a huge year and Crisp is broken.

          • DFA Mar 2,2013 7:55 am || Up

            I pick up both and trade them if choice is ready

            In play, run(s)! Talk dirty to me gamecast, talk dirty. - Nevermoor
        • brian.only Mar 2,2013 2:01 am || Up

          One will be 34, the other not 34?

  76. Englishmajor Mar 1,2013 8:32 pm

    World Baseball Classic is beginning right now (8:30 PT) on MLB Network. Australia vs. Don’t Call It Taiwan If anyone else is going to watch, we could put up a game thread…

    • Kay Mar 1,2013 9:17 pm || Up

      I don’t know why the fk they don’t open MLB Network for a free preview for the entirety of the tournament.

      If a baseball tournament happens and few people can watch it, does it make a sound?

      \"Weren\'t you already aware the Kay is already writing everyone\'s story? We\'re all just characters who believe we are real. Things make more sense now, don\'t they. Be honest.\"- DMOAS
      • Englishmajor Mar 1,2013 9:18 pm || Up

        Yeah, they definitely should.

      • Glorious Mundy Mar 2,2013 4:42 pm || Up

        I think they are streaming it online but you have to authenticate with a cable provider, and I don’t think Comcast is one of the providers offering it.

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